Justin & Kylie answer a listener's question about how to explain the need for psychological help to your child

Topics discussed in today's episode:
Teach your children that you don't have all the answers and sometimes we need to reach out to people who do
3 basic psychological needs that must be met
Do you want space or do you want a cuddle?
Coping skills
Behaviour regulation
Emotional regulation
Normalise it

Get in touch with your questions and feedback to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au

Find out more and register for the Raising Resilient Kids Summit.

Justin &amp; Kylie answer a listener's question about how to explain the need for psychological help to your child
Topics discussed in today's episode:
<ul>
<li>Teach your children that you don't have all the answers and sometimes we need to reach out to people who do</li>
<li>3 basic psychological needs that must be met</li>
<li>Do you want space or do you want a cuddle?</li>
<li>Coping skills</li>
<li>Behaviour regulation</li>
<li>Emotional regulation</li>
<li>Normalise it</li>
</ul>
Get in touch with your questions and feedback to <a href="mailto:podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au">podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au</a>
Find out more and register for the <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/the-raising-resilient-kids-summit">Raising Resilient Kids Summit</a>.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#720 What are the Psychological Needs of Our Kids?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/2f0ad37d-734b-4535-8204-afc000b92d32/transcript

You’re doing everything “right”… so why is it making things worse?

In this honest and vulnerable episode, Justin shares a parenting tension many of us feel but rarely admit: knowing what matters for our kids - like time, productivity, and healthy habits - but completely missing the mark in how we teach it.

Because when good intentions turn into constant correction, something breaks. And it’s usually connection.

If you’ve ever felt the urge to push harder… only to be met with resistance, this episode will help you rethink what actually works.

KEY POINTS
Why being “right” doesn’t mean your approach is working
How constant correction quietly damages connection
The hidden cost of becoming the “enforcer” in your child’s life
Why kids can’t learn self-regulation if we’re always controlling them
The power of small, everyday moments to rebuild family connection
Why repair - not perfection - is the real goal in family relationships

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
 “Am I helping them… or just making them feel like they’re not enough?”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Pre-order Boys now

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Swap one correction today for a moment of connection
Notice when “helping” starts to feel like pressure
Let your child sit in the natural consequences of their choices (within reason)
Create simple, shared moments (a movie, a meal, a walk) that bring you back together
Practice repair: model how to apologise, reconnect, and move forward

You&rsquo;re doing everything &ldquo;right&rdquo;&hellip; so why is it making things worse?
In this honest and vulnerable episode, Justin shares a parenting tension many of us feel but rarely admit: knowing what matters for our kids - like time, productivity, and healthy habits - but completely missing the mark in how we teach it.
Because when good intentions turn into constant correction, something breaks. And it&rsquo;s usually connection.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt the urge to push harder&hellip; only to be met with resistance, this episode will help you rethink what actually works.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why being &ldquo;right&rdquo; doesn&rsquo;t mean your approach is working</li>
<li aria-level="1">How constant correction quietly damages connection</li>
<li aria-level="1">The hidden cost of becoming the &ldquo;enforcer&rdquo; in your child&rsquo;s life</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why kids can&rsquo;t learn self-regulation if we&rsquo;re always controlling them</li>
<li aria-level="1">The power of small, everyday moments to rebuild family connection</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why repair - not perfection - is the real goal in family relationships</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE &ldquo;Am I helping them&hellip; or just making them feel like they&rsquo;re not enough?&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/boys-book-waitlist">Pre-order Boys</a> now</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Swap one correction today for a moment of connection</li>
<li aria-level="1">Notice when &ldquo;helping&rdquo; starts to feel like pressure</li>
<li aria-level="1">Let your child sit in the natural consequences of their choices (within reason)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Create simple, shared moments (a movie, a meal, a walk) that bring you back together</li>
<li aria-level="1">Practice repair: model how to apologise, reconnect, and move forward</li>
</ul>

Raising Capable Kids Without Constant Control

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/fcbf8188-14f4-41a1-a707-b41f008de042/transcript

Your child didn’t suddenly become difficult - something deeper is going on.

New research reveals a surprising truth: during adolescence, personality traits actually take a temporary dive. Motivation drops. Emotions spike. Agreeableness disappears. And parents are left wondering… what just happened?

In this episode, we unpack the “adolescent personality dip” - why your teen feels harder to live with, what’s really changing beneath the surface, and the simple shifts that can transform daily conflict into connection.

If you’re raising a teen (or about to), this will change how you see them - and how you show up.

KEY POINTS
Personality traits decline during adolescence - and it’s completely normal
Teens become less motivated, less agreeable, and more emotionally reactive
Girls experience a sharper rise in emotional intensity than boys
Social awareness and peer pressure amplify big reactions
This phase is temporary - but how you respond matters long-term

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Your teenager isn’t broken - their personality is under construction.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Longitudinal study on adolescent personality development (Norway)
The “Big Five” personality traits (OCEAN model)

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Step into their world before reacting - perspective changes everything
Replace control with collaboration wherever possible
Acknowledge feelings before correcting behaviour
Explain your reasoning instead of giving blunt instructions
Prioritise patience - more than you think you need

Your child didn&rsquo;t suddenly become difficult - something deeper is going on.
New research reveals a surprising truth: during adolescence, personality traits actually take a temporary dive. Motivation drops. Emotions spike. Agreeableness disappears. And parents are left wondering&hellip; what just happened?
In this episode, we unpack the &ldquo;adolescent personality dip&rdquo; - why your teen feels harder to live with, what&rsquo;s really changing beneath the surface, and the simple shifts that can transform daily conflict into connection.
If you&rsquo;re raising a teen (or about to), this will change how you see them - and how you show up.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Personality traits decline during adolescence - and it&rsquo;s completely normal</li>
<li aria-level="1">Teens become less motivated, less agreeable, and more emotionally reactive</li>
<li aria-level="1">Girls experience a sharper rise in emotional intensity than boys</li>
<li aria-level="1">Social awareness and peer pressure amplify big reactions</li>
<li aria-level="1">This phase is temporary - but how you respond matters long-term</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Your teenager isn&rsquo;t broken - their personality is under construction.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Longitudinal study on adolescent personality development (Norway)</li>
<li aria-level="1">The &ldquo;Big Five&rdquo; personality traits (OCEAN model)</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Step into their world before reacting - perspective changes everything</li>
<li aria-level="1">Replace control with collaboration wherever possible</li>
<li aria-level="1">Acknowledge feelings before correcting behaviour</li>
<li aria-level="1">Explain your reasoning instead of giving blunt instructions</li>
<li aria-level="1">Prioritise patience - more than you think you need</li>
</ul>

The Adolescent Personality Dip No One Warns You About 

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/e8bd43a6-ca83-417b-83ab-b41f008db96e/transcript

What if your child’s meltdowns aren’t misbehaviour… but a message?

In this powerful conversation, Dr Dusty Hess flips the script on parenting struggles—revealing how sleep, food, stress, and screen time are quietly shaping your child’s emotions, focus, and behaviour.

If you’ve been stuck in a cycle of reacting, correcting, and feeling exhausted… this episode will show you where real change begins.

KEY POINTS
Behaviour is information, not defiance
Sleep deprivation impacts mood, focus, and even metabolism
Food isn’t just fuel—it’s brain chemistry
Chronic stress pushes kids into survival mode (not learning mode)
Screen time is linked to anxiety, aggression, and inattention
“Upstream parenting” focuses on prevention, not reaction
Small, consistent changes can transform your child’s regulation

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Sometimes a child isn’t acting out—their body is crying out.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Upstream Health (Dr Dusty Hess)
Upstream Plus Membership & Magazine

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Prioritise sleep before trying to fix behaviour
Stabilise one daily habit (e.g. breakfast or bedtime)
Reduce overscheduling and protect downtime
Have ongoing conversations about screen use (don’t just restrict it)
Look for the root cause, not just the reaction
Start small—one upstream shift at a time

What if your child&rsquo;s meltdowns aren&rsquo;t misbehaviour&hellip; but a message?
In this powerful conversation, Dr Dusty Hess flips the script on parenting struggles&mdash;revealing how sleep, food, stress, and screen time are quietly shaping your child&rsquo;s emotions, focus, and behaviour.
If you&rsquo;ve been stuck in a cycle of reacting, correcting, and feeling exhausted&hellip; this episode will show you where real change begins.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Behaviour is information, not defiance</li>
<li aria-level="1">Sleep deprivation impacts mood, focus, and even metabolism</li>
<li aria-level="1">Food isn&rsquo;t just fuel&mdash;it&rsquo;s brain chemistry</li>
<li aria-level="1">Chronic stress pushes kids into survival mode (not learning mode)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Screen time is linked to anxiety, aggression, and inattention</li>
<li aria-level="1">&ldquo;Upstream parenting&rdquo; focuses on prevention, not reaction</li>
<li aria-level="1">Small, consistent changes can transform your child&rsquo;s regulation</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Sometimes a child isn&rsquo;t acting out&mdash;their body is crying out.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Upstream Health (Dr Dusty Hess)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Upstream Plus Membership &amp; Magazine</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Prioritise sleep before trying to fix behaviour</li>
<li aria-level="1">Stabilise one daily habit (e.g. breakfast or bedtime)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Reduce overscheduling and protect downtime</li>
<li aria-level="1">Have ongoing conversations about screen use (don&rsquo;t just restrict it)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Look for the root cause, not just the reaction</li>
<li aria-level="1">Start small&mdash;one upstream shift at a time</li>
</ul>

What Your Child’s Meltdowns Are Really Telling You [with Dr Dusty Hess]

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/89cc0925-555c-4aff-b7be-b41f008da12b/transcript

#720 What are the Psychological Needs of Our Kids?

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