What to do when we start to notice our worst traits coming out in our kids




Topics included in this episode:
Which Coulson daughter is most like their Dad?
Are we being triggered?
Personal acceptance
Your child is their own person
Show your child compassion
Hold space for your children
Allow your children to have a voice
Standards




Purchase the Tweens, Teens & Screens webinar from the Happy Families shop. Because a happy family doesn't just happen.

Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au

What to do when we start to notice our worst traits coming out in our kids Topics included in this episode:<ul>
<li>Which Coulson daughter is most like their Dad?</li>
<li>Are we being triggered?</li>
<li>Personal acceptance</li>
<li>Your child is their own person</li>
<li>Show your child compassion</li>
<li>Hold space for your children</li>
<li>Allow your children to have a voice</li>
<li>Standards</li>
</ul> Purchase the <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/tweens-teens-screens">Tweens, Teens &amp; Screens</a> webinar from the Happy Families shop. Because a happy family doesn't just happen.Find us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/">Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families</a>Email us your questions and comments at <a href="mailto:podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au">podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au</a>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#502 Raising a Mini Me

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/91e50a4e-9ebb-47a3-a28d-af46003cec3c/transcript

Teenagers are riding at 70km/h with no helmets. Police are investigating. Communities are furious. Parents are terrified.

E-bikes are everywhere — and the debate is explosive. Is this about reckless teens? Bad laws? Or something far closer to home?

In this episode, Dr Justin Colson from the Happy Families podcast unpacks the real issue behind the headlines. It’s not just about e-bikes. It’s about freedom, responsibility, and the parenting conversations we’re either having… or avoiding.

Because banning them won’t fix it.
But shrugging won’t either.

If you’ve got a risk-taking teen — or one who soon will — this is a conversation you need to hear.

KEY POINTS
Freedom without responsibility becomes a free-for-all
Risk is essential for development — recklessness is not
Pedal-assist bikes and throttle bikes are not the same
Legislation won’t solve what parenting must address
Teens chase status, thrill and belonging — not danger
The real missing ingredient is consideration

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Freedom isn’t the same as a free-for-all. The real issue isn’t the e-bike — it’s whether we’re teaching our kids what freedom requires.”

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Have the deeper conversation.
Not just “be careful.” Ask: Who could you hurt? What does sharing space mean?
Differentiate risk from recklessness.
Climbing trees builds capability. Blowing through traffic signals destroys trust.
Talk about invisible impact.
Help them imagine the pedestrian, the driver, the nurse in emergency.
Channel thrill safely.
Structured sport, competitions and supervised challenges can meet the same need.
Stay connected.
Consequences matter — but relationship influence matters more.

Teenagers are riding at 70km/h with no helmets. Police are investigating. Communities are furious. Parents are terrified.
E-bikes are everywhere &mdash; and the debate is explosive. Is this about reckless teens? Bad laws? Or something far closer to home?
In this episode, Dr Justin Colson from the Happy Families podcast unpacks the real issue behind the headlines. It&rsquo;s not just about e-bikes. It&rsquo;s about freedom, responsibility, and the parenting conversations we&rsquo;re either having&hellip; or avoiding.
Because banning them won&rsquo;t fix it. But shrugging won&rsquo;t either.
If you&rsquo;ve got a risk-taking teen &mdash; or one who soon will &mdash; this is a conversation you need to hear.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Freedom without responsibility becomes a free-for-all</li>
<li aria-level="1">Risk is essential for development &mdash; recklessness is not</li>
<li aria-level="1">Pedal-assist bikes and throttle bikes are not the same</li>
<li aria-level="1">Legislation won&rsquo;t solve what parenting must address</li>
<li aria-level="1">Teens chase status, thrill and belonging &mdash; not danger</li>
<li aria-level="1">The real missing ingredient is consideration</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Freedom isn&rsquo;t the same as a free-for-all. The real issue isn&rsquo;t the e-bike &mdash; it&rsquo;s whether we&rsquo;re teaching our kids what freedom requires.&rdquo;
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Have the deeper conversation. Not just &ldquo;be careful.&rdquo; Ask: Who could you hurt? What does sharing space mean?</li>
<li aria-level="1">Differentiate risk from recklessness. Climbing trees builds capability. Blowing through traffic signals destroys trust.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Talk about invisible impact. Help them imagine the pedestrian, the driver, the nurse in emergency.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Channel thrill safely. Structured sport, competitions and supervised challenges can meet the same need.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Stay connected. Consequences matter &mdash; but relationship influence matters more.</li>
</ol>

E-Bikes: When Teenage Freedom Turns Dangerous

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/a453db71-9d4b-42f6-837e-b3ea017dfcdb/transcript

Your child lies. You catch them. They double down. Now what?

When an 8-year-old swears they didn’t sneak the TV or the treats (even with chocolate on their face), most parents panic about what it means for the future.

In this episode of The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie explain why lying is normal, why punishment makes it worse, and how to respond in a way that builds honesty instead of fear.

If you want truth without tears, this conversation changes everything.

KEY POINTS
Lying is a developmental milestone, not a moral collapse.
The harsher the punishment, the better kids get at hiding.
Shame damages relationships and kills honesty.
Most lies are about avoiding trouble or getting access to something they want.
The goal isn’t catching kids out — it’s solving the problem together.
You’ll have this conversation again and again. That’s normal parenting.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Lying is not a moral crisis. It’s a teachable moment.”

RELATED RESOURCES

#846 An Honest Conversation [podcast episode]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Stay calm. Avoid lectures and threats.
Say what you see instead of asking trap questions.
Make it safe to tell the truth.
Explain your concerns (health, sleep, fairness).
Collaborate on a plan everyone can live with.
Repeat the conversation as often as needed.

Submit your tricky question at happyfamilies.com.au

Your child lies. You catch them. They double down. Now what?
When an 8-year-old swears they didn&rsquo;t sneak the TV or the treats (even with chocolate on their face), most parents panic about what it means for the future.
In this episode of The Happy Families Podcast, Justin and Kylie explain why lying is normal, why punishment makes it worse, and how to respond in a way that builds honesty instead of fear.
If you want truth without tears, this conversation changes everything.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Lying is a developmental milestone, not a moral collapse.</li>
<li aria-level="1">The harsher the punishment, the better kids get at hiding.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Shame damages relationships and kills honesty.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Most lies are about avoiding trouble or getting access to something they want.</li>
<li aria-level="1">The goal isn&rsquo;t catching kids out &mdash; it&rsquo;s solving the problem together.</li>
<li aria-level="1">You&rsquo;ll have this conversation again and again. That&rsquo;s normal parenting.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Lying is not a moral crisis. It&rsquo;s a teachable moment.&rdquo;
RELATED RESOURCES
<a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/846-an-honest-conversation">#846 An Honest Conversation</a> [podcast episode]
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Stay calm. Avoid lectures and threats.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Say what you see instead of asking trap questions.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Make it safe to tell the truth.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Explain your concerns (health, sleep, fairness).</li>
<li aria-level="1">Collaborate on a plan everyone can live with.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Repeat the conversation as often as needed.</li>
</ol>
Submit your tricky question at <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast">happyfamilies.com.au</a>

Stop the Sneaky Lies Without Crushing Trust

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/7a7158f6-bb46-4d78-818c-b3ea017dd82d/transcript

We tell ourselves it’s about safety.
But what if tracking our kids is quietly costing them confidence, independence… and trust?

With apps like Life360 becoming the norm, many parents are asking: Are we protecting our children — or projecting our anxiety onto them?

In this episode, we unpack what constant monitoring does to developing autonomy, whether location-sharing normalises surveillance, and how to balance safety with healthy independence.

If you’ve ever checked the app “just in case,” this conversation might change how you see it.

KEY POINTS
Why over-monitoring may increase anxiety — for parents and kids
The developmental cost of constant surveillance
How tracking impacts trust, autonomy, and competence
When location sharing can work — and when it crosses a line
The difference between safety conversations and safety control

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“When parents outsource their anxiety management to technology, children pay the developmental price.”

RESOURCES
Lenore Skenazy – Free-Range Kids
Let Grow movement
Claire Rowe (psychologist & parenting writer)
Should We Be Tracking Our Kids? [Article]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Ask yourself: Is this about safety — or my anxiety?
Replace monitoring with problem-solving conversations.
Gradually expand your child’s freedom in age-appropriate ways.
If using location sharing, make it mutual and transparent.
Focus on teaching capability, not controlling outcomes.

We tell ourselves it&rsquo;s about safety. But what if tracking our kids is quietly costing them confidence, independence&hellip; and trust?
With apps like Life360 becoming the norm, many parents are asking: Are we protecting our children &mdash; or projecting our anxiety onto them?
In this episode, we unpack what constant monitoring does to developing autonomy, whether location-sharing normalises surveillance, and how to balance safety with healthy independence.
If you&rsquo;ve ever checked the app &ldquo;just in case,&rdquo; this conversation might change how you see it.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why over-monitoring may increase anxiety &mdash; for parents and kids</li>
<li aria-level="1">The developmental cost of constant surveillance</li>
<li aria-level="1">How tracking impacts trust, autonomy, and competence</li>
<li aria-level="1">When location sharing can work &mdash; and when it crosses a line</li>
<li aria-level="1">The difference between safety conversations and safety control</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;When parents outsource their anxiety management to technology, children pay the developmental price.&rdquo;
RESOURCES
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Lenore Skenazy &ndash; <a href="https://www.freerangekids.com/">Free-Range Kids</a></li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://letgrow.org/">Let Grow</a> movement</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.clarerowe.com.au/">Claire Rowe</a> (psychologist &amp; parenting writer)</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/should-we-be-tracking-our-kids">Should We Be Tracking Our Kids?</a>&nbsp;[Article]</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Ask yourself: Is this about safety &mdash; or my anxiety?</li>
<li aria-level="1">Replace monitoring with problem-solving conversations.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Gradually expand your child&rsquo;s freedom in age-appropriate ways.</li>
<li aria-level="1">If using location sharing, make it mutual and transparent.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Focus on teaching capability, not controlling outcomes.</li>
</ol>

The Hidden Cost of Tracking Your Kids

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/015fe60f-a136-4d12-a101-b3ea017da371/transcript

#502 Raising a Mini Me

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