How do we raise children who are independent, critical thinkers while also fitting in?




Topics included in this episode:
Justin speaks with Todd Kashdan about his new book
"We want our youth to be compelling - likeability plus confidence."
Instilling values
Basketball free throws
Losing while you stick to your principles is better than winning by taking the shortcuts
Stereotyped, non-conforming behaviour
Masculinity and insubordination




Learn more about Todd Kashdan or buy his book, The Art of Insubordination

Purchase a ticket to the Bringing Up Boys Summit

Purchase Tweens, Teens & Screens or find it in your Happy Families Membership. Because a happy family doesn't just happen.

Purchase The Do's & Dont's of Discipline or find it in your Happy Families Membership. Because a happy family doesn't just happen.

Find us on Facebook at Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Email us your questions and comments at podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au.

How do we raise children who are independent, critical thinkers while also fitting in? Topics included in this episode:<ul>
<li>Justin speaks with Todd Kashdan about his new book</li>
<li>"We want our youth to be compelling - likeability plus confidence."</li>
<li>Instilling values</li>
<li>Basketball free throws</li>
<li>Losing while you stick to your principles is better than winning by taking the shortcuts</li>
<li>Stereotyped, non-conforming behaviour</li>
<li>Masculinity and insubordination</li>
</ul> Learn more about <a href="https://toddkashdan.com/">Todd Kashdan</a> or buy his book, The Art of InsubordinationPurchase a ticket to the <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.ac-page.com/bringing-up-boys-summit">Bringing Up Boys Summit</a>Purchase <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/tweens-teens-screens">Tweens, Teens &amp; Screens</a> or find it in your <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/membership/parents">Happy Families Membership</a>. Because a happy family doesn't just happen.Purchase <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/the-dos-donts-of-discipline">The Do's &amp; Dont's of Discipline</a> or find it in your <a href="https://www.happyfamilies.com.au/membership/parents">Happy Families Membership</a>. Because a happy family doesn't just happen.Find us on Facebook at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/">Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families</a>Email us your questions and comments at <a href="mailto:podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au">podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au</a>.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#474 The Art of Insubordination With Todd Kashdan

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/40364778-2b03-47de-841a-af460041350b/transcript

What if improving your wellbeing was far simpler than you thought?

In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie unpack a huge new scientific review published in Nature that analysed 183 wellbeing studies involving nearly 23,000 people worldwide. The conclusion? You don’t need the perfect routine, expensive programs, or hours of free time to feel better.

You just need to do something.

From exercise and mindfulness to yoga, gratitude, therapy, and simple self-awareness practices, the research shows that consistent small actions have a powerful impact on mental health and happiness. Justin and Kylie also share their own honest experiences of trying to prioritise wellbeing in the middle of busy family life.

If you’ve been waiting for the “right time” to take care of yourself, this episode is your reminder that small steps still count.

KEY POINTS:
A major Nature study reviewed 183 wellbeing interventions
Exercise combined with psychological support had the strongest results
Mindfulness, gratitude, yoga, and compassion practices all improved wellbeing
Consistency matters more than perfection
Small actions done regularly can create major emotional shifts
Parents don’t need hours of free time for self-care to work

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
 “Don’t overthink the perfect wellbeing routine. Just do something.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Nature systematic review and meta-analysis on wellbeing interventions
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Mindfulness and positive psychology practices
Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out by Dr Justin Coulson

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
Choose one simple wellbeing habit you can realistically repeat this week
Aim for consistency over intensity
Pair movement with reflection, mindfulness, or connection
Notice how you feel when you stop prioritising your wellbeing
Give yourself permission to start small rather than waiting for perfect conditions

What if improving your wellbeing was far simpler than you thought?
In this Doctor&rsquo;s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie unpack a huge new scientific review published in Nature that analysed 183 wellbeing studies involving nearly 23,000 people worldwide. The conclusion? You don&rsquo;t need the perfect routine, expensive programs, or hours of free time to feel better.
You just need to do something.
From exercise and mindfulness to yoga, gratitude, therapy, and simple self-awareness practices, the research shows that consistent small actions have a powerful impact on mental health and happiness. Justin and Kylie also share their own honest experiences of trying to prioritise wellbeing in the middle of busy family life.
If you&rsquo;ve been waiting for the &ldquo;right time&rdquo; to take care of yourself, this episode is your reminder that small steps still count.
KEY POINTS:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">A major Nature study reviewed 183 wellbeing interventions</li>
<li aria-level="1">Exercise combined with psychological support had the strongest results</li>
<li aria-level="1">Mindfulness, gratitude, yoga, and compassion practices all improved wellbeing</li>
<li aria-level="1">Consistency matters more than perfection</li>
<li aria-level="1">Small actions done regularly can create major emotional shifts</li>
<li aria-level="1">Parents don&rsquo;t need hours of free time for self-care to work</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t overthink the perfect wellbeing routine. Just do something.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-025-02369-1">Nature systematic review and meta-analysis</a> on wellbeing interventions</li>
<li aria-level="1">Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)</li>
<li aria-level="1">Mindfulness and positive psychology practices</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://booktopia.kh4ffx.net/5kjvy3">Boys: Building Strong Young Men from the Inside Out </a>by Dr Justin Coulson</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Choose one simple wellbeing habit you can realistically repeat this week</li>
<li aria-level="1">Aim for consistency over intensity</li>
<li aria-level="1">Pair movement with reflection, mindfulness, or connection</li>
<li aria-level="1">Notice how you feel when you stop prioritising your wellbeing</li>
<li aria-level="1">Give yourself permission to start small rather than waiting for perfect conditions</li>
</ul>

Just Do Something - The Ultimate Wellness Hack

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/4910f334-70fe-41be-8987-b44e00c7264f/transcript

What if protecting our kids too much is actually holding them back?

In this powerful conversation, Dr Justin Coulson sits down with extreme athlete, sports psychologist, and author Ant Williams to unpack why so many kids struggle with pressure, discomfort, and resilience — and what parents can do differently.

From diving beneath Arctic ice to coaching elite athletes under extreme stress, Ant shares the mindset shifts that help people stay calm, capable, and courageous when life gets hard. Together, they explore the parenting habits that unintentionally weaken resilience, the fine line between support and overprotection, and why kids need opportunities to struggle, fail, and recover.

If your child avoids hard things, melts down under pressure, or constantly says “I can’t”, this episode will change the way you respond.

KEY POINTS
Why resilience is built through challenge — not comfort
The difference between being a safety net and a shield
How parents accidentally reinforce anxiety and avoidance
Why kids need evidence they can handle hard things
The long-term risks of wrapping children in cotton wool
How your reactions to stress become your child’s template
The simple “fish hook” strategy for staying calm under pressure
Why modelling courage matters more than preaching confidence

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Our reaction becomes their template.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Let It Be Tough by Ant Williams
Resilience: Developing strength, calm, & kindness in our kids [a Happy Families Webinar]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Resist rescuing your child from every uncomfortable situation
Encourage small, manageable challenges that build confidence
Talk openly about your own fears and how you handle them
Stay calm during stressful moments — your child is learning from your response
Focus on supporting your child, not shielding them
Help kids reflect after setbacks instead of immediately fixing things

What if protecting our kids too much is actually holding them back?
In this powerful conversation, Dr Justin Coulson sits down with extreme athlete, sports psychologist, and author <a href="https://www.instagram.com/freediveguy/?hl=en">Ant Williams</a> to unpack why so many kids struggle with pressure, discomfort, and resilience &mdash; and what parents can do differently.
From diving beneath Arctic ice to coaching elite athletes under extreme stress, Ant shares the mindset shifts that help people stay calm, capable, and courageous when life gets hard. Together, they explore the parenting habits that unintentionally weaken resilience, the fine line between support and overprotection, and why kids need opportunities to struggle, fail, and recover.
If your child avoids hard things, melts down under pressure, or constantly says &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t&rdquo;, this episode will change the way you respond.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why resilience is built through challenge &mdash; not comfort</li>
<li aria-level="1">The difference between being a safety net and a shield</li>
<li aria-level="1">How parents accidentally reinforce anxiety and avoidance</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why kids need evidence they can handle hard things</li>
<li aria-level="1">The long-term risks of wrapping children in cotton wool</li>
<li aria-level="1">How your reactions to stress become your child&rsquo;s template</li>
<li aria-level="1">The simple &ldquo;fish hook&rdquo; strategy for staying calm under pressure</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why modelling courage matters more than preaching confidence</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Our reaction becomes their template.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.simonandschuster.com.au/books/Let-it-be-Tough/Ant-Williams/9781761638565">Let It Be Tough</a> by Ant Williams</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/resilience">Resilience: Developing strength, calm, &amp; kindness in our kids</a> [a Happy Families Webinar]</li>
</ul>
<ul></ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Resist rescuing your child from every uncomfortable situation</li>
<li aria-level="1">Encourage small, manageable challenges that build confidence</li>
<li aria-level="1">Talk openly about your own fears and how you handle them</li>
<li aria-level="1">Stay calm during stressful moments &mdash; your child is learning from your response</li>
<li aria-level="1">Focus on supporting your child, not shielding them</li>
<li aria-level="1">Help kids reflect after setbacks instead of immediately fixing things</li>
</ul>

Raising Kids Who Can Handle Hard Things [with Ant Williams]

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/2b29b344-2520-492f-b394-b44e00c6c438/transcript

Family holidays are supposed to create magical memories… so why do they often leave parents exhausted, stressed, and financially stretched?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie respond to a mum asking how families can still enjoy meaningful holidays during a cost-of-living crisis — especially when accommodation, food, and travel prices keep climbing.

They share the surprising truth about what kids actually remember from holidays, why expensive trips often aren’t worth it for young children, and the low-cost experiences that brought their own family the most joy.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for not being able to afford the “Instagram version” of family travel, this conversation will help you rethink what really matters.

KEY POINTS
Why most young kids care more about pools and friends than expensive destinations
The hidden pressure social media creates around family holidays
How to create unforgettable memories without leaving your city
Why experiences matter more than luxury
Simple staycation ideas that genuinely feel special
The power of involving kids in planning and saving for holidays
How family connection matters more than the destination

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Don’t focus so much on what a traditional holiday looks like. Focus on the experiences that create the memories.”

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Plan one low-cost “novelty day” your kids wouldn’t normally experience
Explore a local attraction you’ve never visited before
Stop comparing your family holidays to social media highlights
Prioritise connection and shared experiences over expensive travel
Create a family savings goal together for a future holiday adventure

Family holidays are supposed to create magical memories&hellip; so why do they often leave parents exhausted, stressed, and financially stretched?
In this episode, Justin and Kylie respond to a mum asking how families can still enjoy meaningful holidays during a cost-of-living crisis &mdash; especially when accommodation, food, and travel prices keep climbing.
They share the surprising truth about what kids actually remember from holidays, why expensive trips often aren&rsquo;t worth it for young children, and the low-cost experiences that brought their own family the most joy.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt guilty for not being able to afford the &ldquo;Instagram version&rdquo; of family travel, this conversation will help you rethink what really matters.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why most young kids care more about pools and friends than expensive destinations</li>
<li aria-level="1">The hidden pressure social media creates around family holidays</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to create unforgettable memories without leaving your city</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why experiences matter more than luxury</li>
<li aria-level="1">Simple staycation ideas that genuinely feel special</li>
<li aria-level="1">The power of involving kids in planning and saving for holidays</li>
<li aria-level="1">How family connection matters more than the destination</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Don&rsquo;t focus so much on what a traditional holiday looks like. Focus on the experiences that create the memories.&rdquo;
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Plan one low-cost &ldquo;novelty day&rdquo; your kids wouldn&rsquo;t normally experience</li>
<li aria-level="1">Explore a local attraction you&rsquo;ve never visited before</li>
<li aria-level="1">Stop comparing your family holidays to social media highlights</li>
<li aria-level="1">Prioritise connection and shared experiences over expensive travel</li>
<li aria-level="1">Create a family savings goal together for a future holiday adventure</li>
</ul>

Cheap Holidays That Kids Actually Love (Listener Q&A)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/2cee0cba-60b4-4b93-891d-b44e00c686ff/transcript

#474 The Art of Insubordination With Todd Kashdan

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