Could the way we celebrate kids at school actually be leaving many of them behind? In this episode, Dr. Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack the hidden costs of awards, assemblies, and school trips. From motivation to mental health, they explore how traditional recognition systems can impact children—and what we can do instead to help every child feel seen, supported, and valued.

KEY POINTS:

• Awards ceremonies often benefit the same high achievers, leaving many students feeling invisible or unworthy.

• External rewards can reduce intrinsic motivation, especially in areas of creativity, effort, and behaviour.

• Assemblies can either unite a community or create anxiety and disconnection, depending on how they're run.

• Away days and camps offer valuable opportunities for growth—but need to be inclusive and purposeful.

• Children thrive when they feel seen, valued, and part of something bigger than themselves.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
“Kids don’t need a trophy to know they matter. They need connection, encouragement, and a belief that they belong.”

KEY INSIGHTS FOR PARENTS:

• Praise effort and process, not just outcomes.

• Be cautious about over-relying on rewards—consider what motivates your child from within.

• Talk with your child about how school events make them feel—do they feel recognised and included?

• Encourage educators to focus on connection and belonging in school-wide activities.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Deci & Ryan’s research on Self-Determination Theory

• Studies on rewards and motivation from Alfie Kohn and Carol Dweck

• Justin Coulson’s book 10 Things Every Parent Needs to Know

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Ask your child how they feel during awards assemblies—validate their emotions.

2. Focus your praise on effort, character, and perseverance rather than outcomes.

3. Advocate for inclusive school events that celebrate all students, not just a few.

4. If your child misses out on recognition, remind them of their value through connection and encouragement.