Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like?

In this episode:
Parental Guidance (S1): “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie”
Victim mentality
People pleasing
Ruptured relationships
The Parenting Revolution, by Dr Justin Coulson
Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic
Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic
Theory of Mind
Why do children apologise under coercion?
Feeling seen, heard, and valued
Repairing relationships
Why don't kids want to apologise?
4 components of a sincere apology

Related links: 
Should we Force our Children to Say 'Sorry'
Carrots & Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do Instead [Webinar]

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

Should we be making our children apologise when they do the wrong thing? What does a sincere apology look like?
In this episode:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.9now.com.au/parental-guidance/season-1">Parental Guidance (S1)</a>: “Forcing children to apologise is teaching children to lie”</li>
<li>Victim mentality</li>
<li>People pleasing</li>
<li>Ruptured relationships</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/the-parenting-revolution">The Parenting Revolution</a>, by Dr Justin Coulson</li>
<li>Motivation Continuum - extrinsic, introjected, identified, integrated, intrinsic</li>
<li><a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2024/05/should-kids-apologize-parenting-debate/678294/">Is It Wrong to Tell Kids to Apologize? | The Atlantic</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/developmental-milestones-part-3-preschool">Theory of Mind</a></li>
<li>Why do children apologise under coercion?</li>
<li>Feeling seen, heard, and valued</li>
<li>Repairing relationships</li>
<li>Why don't kids want to apologise?</li>
<li>4 components of a sincere apology</li>
</ul>
Related links: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/should-we-force-our-children-to-say-sorry">Should we Force our Children to Say 'Sorry'</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/carrots-sticks">Carrots &amp; Sticks: How Rewards and Punishments Hurt Our Kids, and What to do Instead [Webinar]</a></li>
</ul>
Doors are now open to the <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/membership">Happy Families Membership</a> 
NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print &amp; Play’ subscription <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/felt-subscription">FELT</a> (Fostering Emotional Learning Together)
Find us on<a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/"> Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@happyfamiliesau">TikTok</a>
Subscribe to the Happy Families <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.activehosted.com/f/40">newsletter</a>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1043 - Forcing Kids to Apologise

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/153877e7-f3d7-4c88-8ef2-b1b700c411e4/transcript

One quiet car ride. One tired teenager. One frustrated parent. And one powerful reminder about what parenting really asks of us.

In this reflective Friday episode, Justin shares a moment he’s not proud of—sitting in traffic after a 4am stable shift pickup, feeling resentful about the time lost and the lack of a simple “thank you.” But the experience reveals something deeper about the true nature of parenting.

Because parenting isn’t a fair exchange. You will give more than you ever get back.

But over time, something extraordinary happens. The small sacrifices—rides, meals, conversations, traditions—compound into something far richer than gratitude.

Justin and Kylie explore why parenting requires so much giving, how resentment quietly steals joy, and why simple rituals like family dinners may be one of the most powerful investments a parent can make.

KEY POINTS
Parenting is fundamentally unequal—you will always give more than you receive.
Expecting repayment from children often leads to resentment.
Small daily sacrifices are part of “giving your life” as a parent.
The payoff in parenting often arrives decades later, not in the moment.
Family rituals—especially shared meals and conversations—create powerful long-term connection.
The compound effect of consistent family time builds belonging, gratitude, and joy.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
 “Parenting means you will give more than you will ever get back. But if you stay the course long enough, the return becomes incredibly rich.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Happy Families Parenting ADHD Course

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Accept the reality: Parenting isn’t transactional—release the expectation of equal return.
Watch resentment: When frustration creeps in, remember the bigger picture.
Protect family rituals: Regular meals or weekly gatherings build connection over time.
Play the long game: The payoff for parenting effort often appears years later.
Look for small joy: The conversations, stories, and laughter along the way are part of the reward.

One quiet car ride. One tired teenager. One frustrated parent. And one powerful reminder about what parenting really asks of us.
In this reflective Friday episode, Justin shares a moment he&rsquo;s not proud of&mdash;sitting in traffic after a 4am stable shift pickup, feeling resentful about the time lost and the lack of a simple &ldquo;thank you.&rdquo; But the experience reveals something deeper about the true nature of parenting.
Because parenting isn&rsquo;t a fair exchange. You will give more than you ever get back.
But over time, something extraordinary happens. The small sacrifices&mdash;rides, meals, conversations, traditions&mdash;compound into something far richer than gratitude.
Justin and Kylie explore why parenting requires so much giving, how resentment quietly steals joy, and why simple rituals like family dinners may be one of the most powerful investments a parent can make.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Parenting is fundamentally unequal&mdash;you will always give more than you receive.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Expecting repayment from children often leads to resentment.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Small daily sacrifices are part of &ldquo;giving your life&rdquo; as a parent.</li>
<li aria-level="1">The payoff in parenting often arrives decades later, not in the moment.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Family rituals&mdash;especially shared meals and conversations&mdash;create powerful long-term connection.</li>
<li aria-level="1">The compound effect of consistent family time builds belonging, gratitude, and joy.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE &ldquo;Parenting means you will give more than you will ever get back. But if you stay the course long enough, the return becomes incredibly rich.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Happy Families <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/parenting-adhd-the-course">Parenting ADHD Course</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Accept the reality: Parenting isn&rsquo;t transactional&mdash;release the expectation of equal return.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Watch resentment: When frustration creeps in, remember the bigger picture.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Protect family rituals: Regular meals or weekly gatherings build connection over time.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Play the long game: The payoff for parenting effort often appears years later.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Look for small joy: The conversations, stories, and laughter along the way are part of the reward.</li>
</ul>

You’ll Give More Than You Ever Get as a Parent

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/b20fb7bf-f050-4cc7-b0d6-b40100af4579/transcript

When Kylie hit perimenopause, her body stopped responding the way it used to.

The weight kept climbing. Energy disappeared. And after years of trying everything, she started seriously considering surgery, injections, and other extreme options.

Then something unexpected happened.

In just 10 weeks, without surgery or drastic diets, she began reversing years of frustration - and the results shocked even her.

In this deeply personal episode, Justin and Kylie pull back the curtain on Kylie’s health reset: the frustration, the turning point, and the simple habits that are finally working after decades of struggle.

If you’ve ever felt like your body is working against you, this conversation will feel both honest and hopeful.

KEY POINTS
Why perimenopause can make weight loss feel impossible
The moment Kylie seriously considered surgery and medical interventions
The surprising habit that changed everything: drinking more water
Why “the scale” can be the worst measurement of progress
The power of doing hard things with someone else
Why most short-term fitness challenges fail
How small consistent habits beat extreme solutions every time

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
 Build knowledge. Understand how your body works—especially during hormonal changes.
 Choose movement you enjoy. If you hate it, you won’t stick with it.
 Do it with someone. Consistency is easier when commitment is shared.
 Track progress beyond the scale. Photos and measurements tell a more accurate story.
Focus on consistency, not intensity. Long-term adherence beats short-term extremes.

When Kylie hit perimenopause, her body stopped responding the way it used to.
The weight kept climbing. Energy disappeared. And after years of trying everything, she started seriously considering surgery, injections, and other extreme options.
Then something unexpected happened.
In just 10 weeks, without surgery or drastic diets, she began reversing years of frustration - and the results shocked even her.
In this deeply personal episode, Justin and Kylie pull back the curtain on Kylie&rsquo;s health reset: the frustration, the turning point, and the simple habits that are finally working after decades of struggle.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt like your body is working against you, this conversation will feel both honest and hopeful.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why perimenopause can make weight loss feel impossible</li>
<li aria-level="1">The moment Kylie seriously considered surgery and medical interventions</li>
<li aria-level="1">The surprising habit that changed everything: drinking more water</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why &ldquo;the scale&rdquo; can be the worst measurement of progress</li>
<li aria-level="1">The power of doing hard things with someone else</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why most short-term fitness challenges fail</li>
<li aria-level="1">How small consistent habits beat extreme solutions every time</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li> Build knowledge. Understand how your body works&mdash;especially during hormonal changes.</li>
<li> Choose movement you enjoy. If you hate it, you won&rsquo;t stick with it.</li>
<li> Do it with someone. Consistency is easier when commitment is shared.</li>
<li> Track progress beyond the scale. Photos and measurements tell a more accurate story.</li>
<li>Focus on consistency, not intensity.&nbsp;Long-term adherence beats short-term extremes.</li>
</ol>

Training for Old Age

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/8f55e0c5-cff5-4043-9772-b40100af18f6/transcript

Homework has been a school staple for generations. But what if it’s doing more harm than good?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the research behind primary school homework—and the findings may surprise you. From zero academic benefit to increased stress at home, the evidence suggests homework might be one tradition parents and schools need to rethink.

If evenings are turning into battles over worksheets and unfinished assignments, this conversation will give you the clarity (and permission) to do things differently.

KEY POINTS
Research shows no link between homework and academic achievement in primary school.
Homework often assumes one-size-fits-all learning, which doesn’t match children’s individual needs.
After-school worksheets can replace crucial childhood experiences like play, family time, sleep, and movement.
Homework frequently creates conflict between parents and children, turning home into an extension of school.
It can reduce children’s natural motivation to learn, making learning feel like a chore.
Homework may widen inequality, as not all children have the same support or environment at home.
It contributes to stress and mental load for both kids and parents.
Many homework tasks are simply busywork, rewarding compliance rather than curiosity or creativity.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Homework teaches kids that learning is a chore they have to endure, rather than something they get to enjoy.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
The Homework Myth by Alfie Kohn
Happy Families Homework Letter
Victorian Parliamentary Inquiry into homework in primary school

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

✔ Prioritise unstructured play after school.
✔ Encourage reading for enjoyment, not as a timed task.
✔ Focus on family connection and conversation at the end of the day.
✔ Get kids moving their bodies outdoors.
✔ Support learning through real-life activities like cooking, building, creating, and exploring.

Homework has been a school staple for generations. But what if it&rsquo;s doing more harm than good?
In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the research behind primary school homework&mdash;and the findings may surprise you. From zero academic benefit to increased stress at home, the evidence suggests homework might be one tradition parents and schools need to rethink.
If evenings are turning into battles over worksheets and unfinished assignments, this conversation will give you the clarity (and permission) to do things differently.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Research shows no link between homework and academic achievement in primary school.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Homework often assumes one-size-fits-all learning, which doesn&rsquo;t match children&rsquo;s individual needs.</li>
<li aria-level="1">After-school worksheets can replace crucial childhood experiences like play, family time, sleep, and movement.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Homework frequently creates conflict between parents and children, turning home into an extension of school.</li>
<li aria-level="1">It can reduce children&rsquo;s natural motivation to learn, making learning feel like a chore.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Homework may widen inequality, as not all children have the same support or environment at home.</li>
<li aria-level="1">It contributes to stress and mental load for both kids and parents.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Many homework tasks are simply busywork, rewarding compliance rather than curiosity or creativity.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Homework teaches kids that learning is a chore they have to endure, rather than something they get to enjoy.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.alfiekohn.org/homework-myth/">The Homework Myth</a> by Alfie Kohn</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/is-homework-helpful-the-homework-letter-i-send-to-school-each-year">Happy Families Homework Letter</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Victorian Parliamentary Inquiry into homework in primary school</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
✔ Prioritise unstructured play after school. ✔ Encourage reading for enjoyment, not as a timed task. ✔ Focus on family connection and conversation at the end of the day. ✔ Get kids moving their bodies outdoors. ✔ Support learning through real-life activities like cooking, building, creating, and exploring.

10 Reasons For Ditching Homework

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/1b9716a6-17ae-48e3-b054-b40100aed962/transcript

#1043 - Forcing Kids to Apologise

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