A conversation about what it means to be emotionally regulated or dysregulated, with five quick ideas for parents to help their children regulate well.

In this episode:
What are emotions?
Maladaptive responses
Etymology of 'emotion'

French: to excite
Latin: to move
Emotional regulation: The ability to control your emotional state. 
Emotional dysregulation: When your emotions are stronger than your ability to act with autonomy. 
Amygdala triggers survival/fight/flight mode
Spanish: Tengo hambre (I have hunger)
Developmental realities
Creating a safe and predictable environment
Brené Brown on emotions
#822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers (Part 1)
Homeschooling 

.

Related links: 
The Secret to Regulating Emotions
Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library]

.

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

A conversation about what it means to be emotionally regulated or dysregulated, with five quick ideas for parents to help their children regulate well.
In this episode:
<ul>
<li>What are emotions?</li>
<li>Maladaptive responses</li>
<li>Etymology of 'emotion'
<ul>
<li>French: to excite</li>
<li>Latin: to move</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Emotional regulation: The ability to control your emotional state. </li>
<li>Emotional dysregulation: When your emotions are stronger than your ability to act with autonomy. </li>
<li>Amygdala triggers survival/fight/flight mode</li>
<li>Spanish: Tengo hambre (I have hunger)</li>
<li>Developmental realities</li>
<li>Creating a safe and predictable environment</li>
<li>Brené Brown on emotions</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/822-the-emotional-lives-of-teenagers-part-1">#822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers (Part 1)</a></li>
<li>Homeschooling </li>
</ul>
.
Related links: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/the-secret-to-regulating-emotions">The Secret to Regulating Emotions</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/emotion-coaching">Emotion Coaching</a> [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library]</li>
</ul>
.
Doors are now open to the <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/membership">Happy Families Membership</a> 
NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print &amp; Play’ subscription <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/felt-subscription">FELT</a>
Find us on<a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/"> Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@happyfamiliesau">TikTok</a>
Subscribe to the Happy Families <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.activehosted.com/f/40">newsletter</a>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/da4a4ad3-ea4a-45fc-8a32-b1b000e36184/transcript

We’ve told kids for years that effort changes everything.

But the biggest review of growth mindset research in decades just found the results are tiny… sometimes nothing at all.

So should parents and teachers stop talking about “not yet”?

In this Doctor’s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie unpack what the science really says, why the data might be missing the magic, and the simple belief that still changes lives for many children.

KEY POINTS
A major new review analysed 24 gold-standard studies on growth mindset interventions.
The strongest research found very small or zero academic improvement.
Real classrooms and real families are far more complex than controlled trials.
No study shows growth mindset causes harm.
Language, belief, and persistence still influence motivation for many kids.
We should be careful about promises — but not abandon hope.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“I don’t want to be the adult who looks at a child and says, ‘You just can’t.’”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Gazmuri, C. (2025). Growth mindset interventions and academic achievement. Review of Education.

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Swap limits for possibility: invite effort and exploration.
Focus on helping your child stay in the uncomfortable learning zone.
Offer support after they’ve tried, not before.
Remember: neutral evidence is not negative evidence.

We&rsquo;ve told kids for years that effort changes everything.
But the biggest review of growth mindset research in decades just found the results are tiny&hellip; sometimes nothing at all.
So should parents and teachers stop talking about &ldquo;not yet&rdquo;?
In this Doctor&rsquo;s Desk episode, Justin and Kylie unpack what the science really says, why the data might be missing the magic, and the simple belief that still changes lives for many children.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">A major new review analysed 24 gold-standard studies on growth mindset interventions.</li>
<li aria-level="1">The strongest research found very small or zero academic improvement.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Real classrooms and real families are far more complex than controlled trials.</li>
<li aria-level="1">No study shows growth mindset causes harm.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Language, belief, and persistence still influence motivation for many kids.</li>
<li aria-level="1">We should be careful about promises &mdash; but not abandon hope.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t want to be the adult who looks at a child and says, &lsquo;You just can&rsquo;t.&rsquo;&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Gazmuri, C. (2025). Growth mindset interventions and academic achievement. Review of Education.</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Swap limits for possibility: invite effort and exploration.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Focus on helping your child stay in the uncomfortable learning zone.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Offer support after they&rsquo;ve tried, not before.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Remember: neutral evidence is not negative evidence.</li>
</ul>

Growth Mindsets & Academic Improvement

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/1c662a2f-9c8b-4ed6-87c2-b3e500b23054/transcript

She loves her parents. She wants to be a good daughter. So why does it feel so heavy?

In this powerful conversation, Dr Allison Alford names the invisible emotional labour millions of women are carrying — and why being a “good daughter” shouldn’t cost you your wellbeing. From eldest daughter syndrome to guilt, boundaries, and burnout, this episode will leave you feeling seen, validated, and lighter.

If you’ve ever felt stretched thin by family expectations, this one is for you.

KEY POINTS
What “daughtering” really is — and why naming it changes everything
Why guilt is a terrible guide for family caregiving
The hidden emotional and mental load daughters carry every day
Why boundaries don’t make you selfish — they make you sustainable
The freedom of being a “B-plus daughter” instead of burning out

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Being good enough isn’t about doing it all. It’s about doing what is sustainable.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Good Daughtering by Dr Allison Alford
Follow Dr Allison Alford: daughtering101.com
Socials: @daughtering101

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Write down the invisible work you do for your family — and count it
Replace “What should I be doing?” with “What’s sustainable right now?”
Aim to be a B-plus daughter, not an exhausted A-plus one
Talk openly about daughtering with friends and family — language brings relief
Let go of guilt as a decision-maker and choose balance instead

She loves her parents. She wants to be a good daughter. So why does it feel so heavy?
In this powerful conversation, Dr Allison Alford names the invisible emotional labour millions of women are carrying &mdash; and why being a &ldquo;good daughter&rdquo; shouldn&rsquo;t cost you your wellbeing. From eldest daughter syndrome to guilt, boundaries, and burnout, this episode will leave you feeling seen, validated, and lighter.
If you&rsquo;ve ever felt stretched thin by family expectations, this one is for you.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">What &ldquo;daughtering&rdquo; really is &mdash; and why naming it changes everything</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why guilt is a terrible guide for family caregiving</li>
<li aria-level="1">The hidden emotional and mental load daughters carry every day</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why boundaries don&rsquo;t make you selfish &mdash; they make you sustainable</li>
<li aria-level="1">The freedom of being a &ldquo;B-plus daughter&rdquo; instead of burning out</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Being good enough isn&rsquo;t about doing it all. It&rsquo;s about doing what is sustainable.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.harpercollins.com/products/good-daughtering-allison-m-alford-phd?variant=44326693699618">Good Daughtering</a> by Dr Allison Alford</li>
<li aria-level="1">Follow Dr Allison Alford: <a href="daughtering101.com">daughtering101.com</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Socials: @daughtering101</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Write down the invisible work you do for your family &mdash; and count it</li>
<li aria-level="1">Replace &ldquo;What should I be doing?&rdquo; with &ldquo;What&rsquo;s sustainable right now?&rdquo;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Aim to be a B-plus daughter, not an exhausted A-plus one</li>
<li aria-level="1">Talk openly about daughtering with friends and family &mdash; language brings relief</li>
<li aria-level="1">Let go of guilt as a decision-maker and choose balance instead</li>
</ul>

Good Daughtering [with Dr Allison Alford]

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/d805f508-db5b-40c6-99d6-b3e500b1f6c7/transcript

Thinking about homeschooling… but secretly terrified you’ll get it wrong?

If you’re standing at the edge of homeschooling wondering What am I actually supposed to do all day?—this episode is for you. Justin and Kylie unpack what homeschooling really looks like once you ditch the school-at-home mindset and start building something that actually works for your child (and your sanity).

This isn’t about rigid schedules or perfect plans. It’s about slowing down, tuning in, and creating learning that fits real kids and real families.

KEY POINTS
Why copying school at home almost always backfires
The freedom (and relief) that comes from flexible structure
The four principles that made homeschooling sustainable for their family
Why community matters more than curriculum
How knowing your why gets you through the hard days

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Homeschooling isn’t about doing school at home. It’s about creating learning that actually fits your child.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
HappyFamilies.com.au
Submitting a Tricky Question: podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Start slower than you think you need to
Focus on connection before curriculum
Find (or build) a homeschooling community early
Let go of the idea that it has to look like school

Revisit your why on the hard days—it matters more than your plan

Thinking about homeschooling&hellip; but secretly terrified you&rsquo;ll get it wrong?
If you&rsquo;re standing at the edge of homeschooling wondering What am I actually supposed to do all day?&mdash;this episode is for you. Justin and Kylie unpack what homeschooling really looks like once you ditch the school-at-home mindset and start building something that actually works for your child (and your sanity).
This isn&rsquo;t about rigid schedules or perfect plans. It&rsquo;s about slowing down, tuning in, and creating learning that fits real kids and real families.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why copying school at home almost always backfires</li>
<li aria-level="1">The freedom (and relief) that comes from flexible structure</li>
<li aria-level="1">The four principles that made homeschooling sustainable for their family</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why community matters more than curriculum</li>
<li aria-level="1">How knowing your why gets you through the hard days</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Homeschooling isn&rsquo;t about doing school at home. It&rsquo;s about creating learning that actually fits your child.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="HappyFamilies.com.au">HappyFamilies.com.au</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Submitting a Tricky Question: <a href="mailto:podcasts@happyhamilies.com.au">podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Start slower than you think you need to</li>
<li aria-level="1">Focus on connection before curriculum</li>
<li aria-level="1">Find (or build) a homeschooling community early</li>
<li aria-level="1">Let go of the idea that it has to look like school</li>
</ul>
Revisit your why on the hard days&mdash;it matters more than your plan

Homeschooling: What to Do When You’re Ready but Clueless

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/143c62ed-3858-4428-94ba-b3e500b1dd7a/transcript

#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation

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