A conversation about what it means to be emotionally regulated or dysregulated, with five quick ideas for parents to help their children regulate well.

In this episode:
What are emotions?
Maladaptive responses
Etymology of 'emotion'

French: to excite
Latin: to move
Emotional regulation: The ability to control your emotional state. 
Emotional dysregulation: When your emotions are stronger than your ability to act with autonomy. 
Amygdala triggers survival/fight/flight mode
Spanish: Tengo hambre (I have hunger)
Developmental realities
Creating a safe and predictable environment
Brené Brown on emotions
#822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers (Part 1)
Homeschooling 

.

Related links: 
The Secret to Regulating Emotions
Emotion Coaching [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library]

.

Doors are now open to the Happy Families Membership

NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print & Play’ subscription FELT

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

A conversation about what it means to be emotionally regulated or dysregulated, with five quick ideas for parents to help their children regulate well.
In this episode:
<ul>
<li>What are emotions?</li>
<li>Maladaptive responses</li>
<li>Etymology of 'emotion'
<ul>
<li>French: to excite</li>
<li>Latin: to move</li>
</ul>
</li>
<li>Emotional regulation: The ability to control your emotional state. </li>
<li>Emotional dysregulation: When your emotions are stronger than your ability to act with autonomy. </li>
<li>Amygdala triggers survival/fight/flight mode</li>
<li>Spanish: Tengo hambre (I have hunger)</li>
<li>Developmental realities</li>
<li>Creating a safe and predictable environment</li>
<li>Brené Brown on emotions</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast/episode/822-the-emotional-lives-of-teenagers-part-1">#822 The Emotional Lives of Teenagers (Part 1)</a></li>
<li>Homeschooling </li>
</ul>
.
Related links: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/the-secret-to-regulating-emotions">The Secret to Regulating Emotions</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/emotion-coaching">Emotion Coaching</a> [ Webinar - if you are a HF member you can find this in your video library]</li>
</ul>
.
Doors are now open to the <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/membership">Happy Families Membership</a> 
NEW weekly kids’ ‘Print &amp; Play’ subscription <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/felt-subscription">FELT</a>
Find us on<a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/"> Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@happyfamiliesau">TikTok</a>
Subscribe to the Happy Families <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.activehosted.com/f/40">newsletter</a>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/da4a4ad3-ea4a-45fc-8a32-b1b000e36184/transcript

Homework has been a school staple for generations. But what if it’s doing more harm than good?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the research behind primary school homework—and the findings may surprise you. From zero academic benefit to increased stress at home, the evidence suggests homework might be one tradition parents and schools need to rethink.

If evenings are turning into battles over worksheets and unfinished assignments, this conversation will give you the clarity (and permission) to do things differently.

KEY POINTS
Research shows no link between homework and academic achievement in primary school.
Homework often assumes one-size-fits-all learning, which doesn’t match children’s individual needs.
After-school worksheets can replace crucial childhood experiences like play, family time, sleep, and movement.
Homework frequently creates conflict between parents and children, turning home into an extension of school.
It can reduce children’s natural motivation to learn, making learning feel like a chore.
Homework may widen inequality, as not all children have the same support or environment at home.
It contributes to stress and mental load for both kids and parents.
Many homework tasks are simply busywork, rewarding compliance rather than curiosity or creativity.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Homework teaches kids that learning is a chore they have to endure, rather than something they get to enjoy.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
The Homework Myth by Alfie Kohn
Happy Families Homework Letter
Victorian Parliamentary Inquiry into homework in primary school

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS

✔ Prioritise unstructured play after school.
✔ Encourage reading for enjoyment, not as a timed task.
✔ Focus on family connection and conversation at the end of the day.
✔ Get kids moving their bodies outdoors.
✔ Support learning through real-life activities like cooking, building, creating, and exploring.

Homework has been a school staple for generations. But what if it&rsquo;s doing more harm than good?
In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack the research behind primary school homework&mdash;and the findings may surprise you. From zero academic benefit to increased stress at home, the evidence suggests homework might be one tradition parents and schools need to rethink.
If evenings are turning into battles over worksheets and unfinished assignments, this conversation will give you the clarity (and permission) to do things differently.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Research shows no link between homework and academic achievement in primary school.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Homework often assumes one-size-fits-all learning, which doesn&rsquo;t match children&rsquo;s individual needs.</li>
<li aria-level="1">After-school worksheets can replace crucial childhood experiences like play, family time, sleep, and movement.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Homework frequently creates conflict between parents and children, turning home into an extension of school.</li>
<li aria-level="1">It can reduce children&rsquo;s natural motivation to learn, making learning feel like a chore.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Homework may widen inequality, as not all children have the same support or environment at home.</li>
<li aria-level="1">It contributes to stress and mental load for both kids and parents.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Many homework tasks are simply busywork, rewarding compliance rather than curiosity or creativity.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Homework teaches kids that learning is a chore they have to endure, rather than something they get to enjoy.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.alfiekohn.org/homework-myth/">The Homework Myth</a> by Alfie Kohn</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/is-homework-helpful-the-homework-letter-i-send-to-school-each-year">Happy Families Homework Letter</a></li>
<li aria-level="1">Victorian Parliamentary Inquiry into homework in primary school</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
✔ Prioritise unstructured play after school. ✔ Encourage reading for enjoyment, not as a timed task. ✔ Focus on family connection and conversation at the end of the day. ✔ Get kids moving their bodies outdoors. ✔ Support learning through real-life activities like cooking, building, creating, and exploring.

10 Reasons For Ditching Homework

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/1b9716a6-17ae-48e3-b054-b40100aed962/transcript

You want your child to be responsible. You give them a little freedom… and suddenly the rules start bending, the truth gets a little fuzzy.

One mum is trying to help her 11-year-old become more independent — letting him go to the park with friends, trusting him to come home on time, and simply asking that he communicates where he is. But recently she’s discovered he’s been stretching the truth… going to the shops instead of the park and coming home late.

So how do you respond without destroying trust? How do you correct the behaviour while protecting the relationship?

In this episode, Justin and Kylie break down a simple framework that helps parents tackle dishonesty, rebuild trust, and guide kids toward responsibility — without lectures, punishment spirals, or power struggles.

Because if you want responsible kids… you have to give them responsibility.

KEY POINTS:
Independence and trust grow together — but mistakes are part of the process.
Jumping straight to punishment shuts down communication.
Most kids aren’t being malicious — often it’s mindlessness, not rebellion.
The 3 E’s of Effective Discipline help guide tough conversations:
Explore: Understand your child’s perspective first.
Explain: Help them see the impact of their behaviour.
Empower: Collaborate on solutions and boundaries.
Kids are far more likely to follow rules they help create and understand.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:
"Rules matter. But without a relationship, rules lead to rebellion."

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

Start with curiosity. Ask what happened before jumping to conclusions.
Build empathy. Help your child understand how their actions affect others.
Ask them to explain the rules. This builds ownership and understanding.
Collaborate on boundaries. Let them help shape fair expectations.
Increase freedom gradually. Trust grows in small steps.

You want your child to be responsible. You give them a little freedom&hellip; and suddenly the rules start bending, the truth gets a little fuzzy.
One mum is trying to help her 11-year-old become more independent &mdash; letting him go to the park with friends, trusting him to come home on time, and simply asking that he communicates where he is. But recently she&rsquo;s discovered he&rsquo;s been stretching the truth&hellip; going to the shops instead of the park and coming home late.
So how do you respond without destroying trust? How do you correct the behaviour while protecting the relationship?
In this episode, Justin and Kylie break down a simple framework that helps parents tackle dishonesty, rebuild trust, and guide kids toward responsibility &mdash; without lectures, punishment spirals, or power struggles.
Because if you want responsible kids&hellip; you have to give them responsibility.
KEY POINTS:
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Independence and trust grow together &mdash; but mistakes are part of the process.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Jumping straight to punishment shuts down communication.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Most kids aren&rsquo;t being malicious &mdash; often it&rsquo;s mindlessness, not rebellion.</li>
<li aria-level="1">The 3 E&rsquo;s of Effective Discipline help guide tough conversations:</li>
<ul>
<li aria-level="2">Explore: Understand your child&rsquo;s perspective first.</li>
<li aria-level="2">Explain: Help them see the impact of their behaviour.</li>
<li aria-level="2">Empower: Collaborate on solutions and boundaries.</li>
</ul>
<li aria-level="1">Kids are far more likely to follow rules they help create and understand.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Rules matter. But without a relationship, rules lead to rebellion."
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: 
<ol>
<li>Start with curiosity. Ask what happened before jumping to conclusions.</li>
<li>Build empathy. Help your child understand how their actions affect others.</li>
<li>Ask them to explain the rules. This builds ownership and understanding.</li>
<li>Collaborate on boundaries. Let them help shape fair expectations.</li>
<li>Increase freedom gradually. Trust grows in small steps.</li>
</ol>

When Independence Turns Into Dishonesty

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/da0c847a-8981-4640-bce4-b40100aea726/transcript

AI is writing essays. AI is passing exams. AI is graduating with honours.

But what’s happening to our kids’ brains?

When an MIT study found students who used ChatGPT had dramatically worse recall, headlines screamed: “AI is destroying intelligence.” The truth is more complicated — and more confronting.

In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack what AI is actually doing to developing brains, why schools may be accidentally making it worse, and the one rule every family needs before a child touches ChatGPT again.

Because this isn’t about banning AI. It’s about protecting your child’s ability to think.

KEY POINTS
Brain first, then AI
What EEG scans revealed about neural engagement
Why students using AI first “never recovered” cognitively
The alarming reality inside high schools and universities
How over-reliance weakens critical thinking (even in doctors)
The “forklift at the gym” analogy from Alfie Kohn
Why productive struggle is essential for learning
Practical scripts parents can use at home
What schools should be doing differently

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Using AI to write for you is like bringing a forklift to the gym. The weights get lifted — but you don’t get stronger.”

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
 Create the Brain-First Rule. No AI use until your child has attempted the task independently.
 Normalise Productive Struggle. Remind them: frustration builds neural pathways.
 Use AI as a Challenger, Not a Writer. Instead of “Write this for me,” teach them to ask: “Ask me to explain my argument before giving feedback.” “Challenge my reasoning with three hard questions.”
Model It Yourself. Let your kids see you think first, then refine with technology. 
Have the Long-Term Conversation. Ask: Do you want to think for yourself — or let a machine think for you?

AI is writing essays. AI is passing exams. AI is graduating with honours.
But what&rsquo;s happening to our kids&rsquo; brains?
When an MIT study found students who used ChatGPT had dramatically worse recall, headlines screamed: &ldquo;AI is destroying intelligence.&rdquo; The truth is more complicated &mdash; and more confronting.
In this episode, Justin and Kylie unpack what AI is actually doing to developing brains, why schools may be accidentally making it worse, and the one rule every family needs before a child touches ChatGPT again.
Because this isn&rsquo;t about banning AI. It&rsquo;s about protecting your child&rsquo;s ability to think.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Brain first, then AI</li>
<li aria-level="1">What EEG scans revealed about neural engagement</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why students using AI first &ldquo;never recovered&rdquo; cognitively</li>
<li aria-level="1">The alarming reality inside high schools and universities</li>
<li aria-level="1">How over-reliance weakens critical thinking (even in doctors)</li>
<li aria-level="1">The &ldquo;forklift at the gym&rdquo; analogy from Alfie Kohn</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why productive struggle is essential for learning</li>
<li aria-level="1">Practical scripts parents can use at home</li>
<li aria-level="1">What schools should be doing differently</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Using AI to write for you is like bringing a forklift to the gym. The weights get lifted &mdash; but you don&rsquo;t get stronger.&rdquo;
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li>&nbsp;Create the Brain-First Rule. No AI use until your child has attempted the task independently.</li>
<li>&nbsp;Normalise Productive Struggle. Remind them: frustration builds neural pathways.</li>
<li>&nbsp;Use AI as a Challenger, Not a Writer. Instead of &ldquo;Write this for me,&rdquo; teach them to ask:&nbsp;&ldquo;Ask me to explain my argument before giving feedback.&rdquo;&nbsp;&ldquo;Challenge my reasoning with three hard questions.&rdquo;</li>
<li>Model It Yourself.&nbsp;Let your kids see you think first, then refine with technology.&nbsp;</li>
<li>Have the Long-Term Conversation. Ask: Do you want to think for yourself &mdash; or let a machine think for you?</li>
</ol>

AI Is Making Our Kids Dumber and Schools Are Letting It Happen

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/5e462b2b-66ba-422c-8b7c-b40100ae7f4c/transcript

#1038 - Managing Emotional Dysregulation

In 1 playlist(s)

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

Social links

Follow podcast

Recent clips