Justin and Kylie respond to a listener question about emotional volcanoes
Name it to tame it
Emotional regulation
High emotions – low intelligence
Tunnel vision/rigid thinking
Seen, heard & valued

(R) This episode originally aired 15/8/23.

.

Related links: 
Emotion Coaching [The Webinar]
The Secret to Regulating Emotions
Emotional Intelligence

.

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au

Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our website

Justin and Kylie respond to a listener question about emotional volcanoes
<ul>
<li>Name it to tame it</li>
<li>Emotional regulation</li>
<li>High emotions – low intelligence</li>
<li>Tunnel vision/rigid thinking</li>
<li>Seen, heard &amp; valued</li>
</ul>
(R) This episode originally aired 15/8/23.
.
Related links: 
<ul>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/emotion-coaching">Emotion Coaching [The Webinar]</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/the-secret-to-regulating-emotions">The Secret to Regulating Emotions</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/emotional-intelligence">Emotional Intelligence</a></li>
</ul>
.
Find us on<a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/"> Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@happyfamiliesau">TikTok</a>
Subscribe to the Happy Families <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.activehosted.com/f/40">newsletter</a>
Leave a <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast">voice memo here</a> or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
Find out more about joining THE QUEST at <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/the-quest">our website</a>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1030 - Name It & Tame It

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/cf05a686-7953-4b9c-85ae-b19700bfe26e/transcript

Your child refuses to leave the house… melts down over their hair… or acts defiant when you show up. Is it anxiety, attitude… or something deeper?

In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on when big emotions collide with growing independence - and how to respond in a way that actually helps (not escalates).

If your child suddenly thinks you’re “cringe”… this one’s for you.

KEY POINTS
Big emotions ≠ bad behaviour (and why labels matter)
The hidden link between anxiety, overwhelm, and defiance
The difference between autonomy and “doing whatever they want”
Why kids reject parents in public (and what it really means)
How misaligned parenting can amplify emotional struggles
A simple framework to get on the same page as your partner
The power of collaborative problem-solving (instead of control)

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Autonomy isn’t freedom — it’s helping kids make thoughtful, values-based choices.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
The “What’s working / What’s not / What next” parenting check-in
The “Three E’s” collaborative problem-solving approach

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Pause before labelling behaviour — ask: what’s underneath this?
Have a calm check-in with your partner: what’s working, what’s not, what next
Get curious with your child instead of offering solutions
Ask: “Help me understand why this feels hard”
Co-create a plan your child actually agrees with
Find small, respectful ways to stay connected — even when they push you away

Your child refuses to leave the house&hellip; melts down over their hair&hellip; or acts defiant when you show up. Is it anxiety, attitude&hellip; or something deeper?
In this episode, we unpack what&rsquo;s really going on when big emotions collide with growing independence - and how to respond in a way that actually helps (not escalates).
If your child suddenly thinks you&rsquo;re &ldquo;cringe&rdquo;&hellip; this one&rsquo;s for you.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Big emotions &ne; bad behaviour (and why labels matter)</li>
<li aria-level="1">The hidden link between anxiety, overwhelm, and defiance</li>
<li aria-level="1">The difference between autonomy and &ldquo;doing whatever they want&rdquo;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why kids reject parents in public (and what it really means)</li>
<li aria-level="1">How misaligned parenting can amplify emotional struggles</li>
<li aria-level="1">A simple framework to get on the same page as your partner</li>
<li aria-level="1">The power of collaborative problem-solving (instead of control)</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Autonomy isn&rsquo;t freedom &mdash; it&rsquo;s helping kids make thoughtful, values-based choices.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">The &ldquo;What&rsquo;s working / What&rsquo;s not / What next&rdquo; parenting check-in</li>
<li aria-level="1">The &ldquo;Three E&rsquo;s&rdquo; collaborative problem-solving approach</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Pause before labelling behaviour &mdash; ask: what&rsquo;s underneath this?</li>
<li aria-level="1">Have a calm check-in with your partner: what&rsquo;s working, what&rsquo;s not, what next</li>
<li aria-level="1">Get curious with your child instead of offering solutions</li>
<li aria-level="1">Ask: &ldquo;Help me understand why this feels hard&rdquo;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Co-create a plan your child actually agrees with</li>
<li aria-level="1">Find small, respectful ways to stay connected &mdash; even when they push you away</li>
</ul>

Big Emotions Parent's Aren't Cool

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/12e46bf7-59c7-408d-a63b-b41f008d8484/transcript

Could it be that your child’s uneaten lunch isn’t the problem… the schedule is?

A simple shift happening in Aussie schools is transforming behaviour, boosting learning, and - finally - getting kids to actually eat their food.

This episode unpacks the “play first, eat later” approach - and why it works far better than anything you can pack in a lunchbox.

If your child comes home hangry, exhausted, or with a full lunchbox… this might be the missing piece.

KEY POINTS
Why kids skip lunch (and it’s not about the food)
The “play first” model changing school behaviour and focus
How movement drives appetite, regulation, and learning
The hidden link between uneaten lunches and afternoon meltdowns
Why the last 10 minutes of playtime often trigger the biggest issues
A simple school-level change with measurable results

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Calories change kids. Food isn’t just fuel - it’s behaviour, focus, and emotional regulation.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
ABC News article on “play first, eat later” school model
Conversations with teachers and school communities
School P&C (Parents & Citizens) groups as a starting point for change

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Start the conversation with your school or P&C about “play first”
Focus less on perfect lunches and more on eating opportunity
Talk with your child about when they feel hungry during the day
Advocate for structural changes - not just lunchbox fixes
Watch for after-school behaviour as a clue to under-fuelling

Could it be that your child&rsquo;s uneaten lunch isn&rsquo;t the problem&hellip; the schedule is?
A simple shift happening in Aussie schools is transforming behaviour, boosting learning, and - finally - getting kids to actually eat their food.
This episode unpacks the &ldquo;play first, eat later&rdquo; approach - and why it works far better than anything you can pack in a lunchbox.
If your child comes home hangry, exhausted, or with a full lunchbox&hellip; this might be the missing piece.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why kids skip lunch (and it&rsquo;s not about the food)</li>
<li aria-level="1">The &ldquo;play first&rdquo; model changing school behaviour and focus</li>
<li aria-level="1">How movement drives appetite, regulation, and learning</li>
<li aria-level="1">The hidden link between uneaten lunches and afternoon meltdowns</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why the last 10 minutes of playtime often trigger the biggest issues</li>
<li aria-level="1">A simple school-level change with measurable results</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Calories change kids. Food isn&rsquo;t just fuel - it&rsquo;s behaviour, focus, and emotional regulation.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">ABC News article on &ldquo;play first, eat later&rdquo; school model</li>
<li aria-level="1">Conversations with teachers and school communities</li>
<li aria-level="1">School P&amp;C (Parents &amp; Citizens) groups as a starting point for change</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Start the conversation with your school or P&amp;C about &ldquo;play first&rdquo;</li>
<li aria-level="1">Focus less on perfect lunches and more on eating opportunity</li>
<li aria-level="1">Talk with your child about when they feel hungry during the day</li>
<li aria-level="1">Advocate for structural changes - not just lunchbox fixes</li>
<li aria-level="1">Watch for after-school behaviour as a clue to under-fuelling</li>
</ul>

Playing Before Eating

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/01b3817d-0cfa-4d9d-b604-b41f008d59e8/transcript

A 13-year Australian study's findings are shaking the medical world. Children on ADHD medication reported lower quality of life than those who weren’t medicated. In this eye-opening episode, Justin unpacks why the “gold standard” research behind ADHD treatment might have been flawed all along — and what this means for families trying to do what’s best for their kids.

This one might make you rethink everything you’ve been told.

 KEY POINTS
The shocking Deakin University study on ADHD medication and child wellbeing.
Why “the gold standard” MTA study may have misled the world for decades.
How peer review can fail — and how Big Pharma shapes the story.
What long-term follow-ups reveal about medication outcomes.
Why your child isn’t the problem — and what really needs to change instead.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“Your child doesn’t have a problem. Thinking your child is the problem is often the bigger problem.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
MTA Study (Multimodal Treatment of ADHD) and 3-year follow-up research.
Deakin University longitudinal study on ADHD medication and quality of life.
The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson.
Parenting ADHD [The Course] + Course FAQs
[Article] Help for the Parent with ADHD

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Don’t make changes overnight — start by reading the linked studies.
Talk to your child’s GP, psychologist, or psychiatrist about alternative supports.
Focus on your child’s environment, not just their behaviour.
Trust your gut — if something doesn’t feel right, it’s worth exploring.
Remember: grace for your child, yourself, and your professionals.

A 13-year Australian study's findings are shaking the medical world. Children on ADHD medication reported lower quality of life than those who weren&rsquo;t medicated. In this eye-opening episode, Justin unpacks why the &ldquo;gold standard&rdquo; research behind ADHD treatment might have been flawed all along &mdash; and what this means for families trying to do what&rsquo;s best for their kids.
This one might make you rethink everything you&rsquo;ve been told.
&nbsp;KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li>The shocking Deakin University study on ADHD medication and child wellbeing.</li>
<li>Why &ldquo;the gold standard&rdquo; MTA study may have misled the world for decades.</li>
<li>How peer review can fail &mdash; and how Big Pharma shapes the story.</li>
<li>What long-term follow-ups reveal about medication outcomes.</li>
<li>Why your child isn&rsquo;t the problem &mdash; and what really needs to change instead.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;Your child doesn&rsquo;t have a problem. Thinking your child is the problem is often the bigger problem.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www.nimh.nih.gov/funding/clinical-research/practical/mta/multimodal-treatment-of-attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder-mta-study">MTA Study</a> (Multimodal Treatment of ADHD) and <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17667478/">3-year follow-up research</a>.</li>
<li><a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/10870547251353366">Deakin University longitudinal study </a>on ADHD medication and quality of life.</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/the-parenting-revolution">The Parenting Revolution</a> by Dr Justin Coulson.</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/parenting-adhd-the-course">Parenting ADHD [The Course]</a> + Course <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.ac-page.com/adhd-course-faqs">FAQs</a></li>
<li>[Article] <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/help-for-the-adhd-parent">Help for the Parent with ADHD</a></li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li>Don&rsquo;t make changes overnight &mdash; start by reading the linked studies.</li>
<li>Talk to your child&rsquo;s GP, psychologist, or psychiatrist about alternative supports.</li>
<li>Focus on your child&rsquo;s environment, not just their behaviour.</li>
<li>Trust your gut &mdash; if something doesn&rsquo;t feel right, it&rsquo;s worth exploring.</li>
<li>Remember: grace for your child, yourself, and your professionals.</li>
</ol>

Rethinking ADHD: Why Medication Isn’t the Magic Fix [R]

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/e7e95b43-df28-4c05-812b-b41900ac48b4/transcript

#1030 - Name It & Tame It

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