Three-year-olds are exhausting! Energetic, emotionally reactive, and uninhibited—all the things that can make a parent begin to question if their child has ADHD! Today, Dr Justin looks at the developmentally normal behaviours of a three-year-old and shares four things they need in order to learn, grow, and thrive.

Plus, three tips for neurodivergent parents trying to hold it all together while navigating the chaos of family life and struggling with their own ADHD.

In this episode:
ADHD, ODD, or just three?
Developmental Milestones - Preschoolers
Little People, Big Feelings (Webinar)
What Your Child Needs From You
Why saying "use your words" isn't helpful
Theory of mind
Diagnosing ADHD
What 3-year-olds need
Neurodivergent parents
Challenges of ADHD as an adult
Help For the ADHD Parent - from the Happy Families team

.

Related links:
Parenting an ADHD Child
Women in Australia with ADHD - FB support group
ADHD Mums - Australian resource and podcast

.

Find us on Facebook or TikTok

Subscribe to the Happy Families newsletter

Leave a voice memo here or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au

Find out more about joining THE QUEST at our website

Three-year-olds are exhausting! Energetic, emotionally reactive, and uninhibited—all the things that can make a parent begin to question if their child has ADHD! Today, Dr Justin looks at the developmentally normal behaviours of a three-year-old and shares four things they need in order to learn, grow, and thrive.
Plus, three tips for neurodivergent parents trying to hold it all together while navigating the chaos of family life and struggling with their own ADHD.
In this episode:
<ul>
<li>ADHD, ODD, or just three?</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/developmental-milestones-part-3-preschool">Developmental Milestones - Preschoolers</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/little-people-big-feelings-webinar">Little People, Big Feelings (Webinar)</a></li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/what-your-child-needs-from-you">What Your Child Needs From You</a></li>
<li>Why saying "use your words" isn't helpful</li>
<li>Theory of mind</li>
<li>Diagnosing ADHD</li>
<li>What 3-year-olds need</li>
<li>Neurodivergent parents</li>
<li>Challenges of ADHD as an adult</li>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/help-for-the-adhd-parent">Help For the ADHD Parent</a> - from the Happy Families team</li>
</ul>
.
Related links:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/parenting-an-adhd-child">Parenting an ADHD Child</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/WomenInAustraliaADHD">Women in Australia with ADHD - FB support group</a></li>
<li><a href="https://adhdmums.com.au">ADHD Mums - Australian resource and podcast</a></li>
</ul>
.
Find us on<a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamilies.au/"> Facebook</a> or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@happyfamiliesau">TikTok</a>
Subscribe to the Happy Families <a href="https://happyfamiliesfamilyeducation.activehosted.com/f/40">newsletter</a>
Leave a <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/podcast">voice memo here</a> or email your questions/comments to podcasts@happyfamilies.com.au
Find out more about joining THE QUEST at <a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/the-quest">our website</a>

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy Families Podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now. Every day Justin and his wife Kylie provide practical tips and a common sense approach to parenting that Mums and Dads all over the world are connecting with. Justin and Kylie have 6 daughters and they regularly share their experiences of managing a busy household filled with lots of challenges and plenty of happiness. For real and practicable advice from people who understand and appreciate the challenges of a time poor parent, listen to Justin and Kylie and help make your family happier.

The Happy families podcast with Dr. Justin Coulson is designed for the time poor parent who just wants answers now.

Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1009 ADHD in Adults & Toddlers

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/893970ae-d8ee-4fd1-bbe7-b18b00c58417/transcript

It’s the parenting trend everyone’s talking about — and it might be doing more harm than good.

“FAFO parenting” (mess around and find out) is being framed as the antidote to gentle parenting. Tougher. Harder. No-nonsense. Let kids face the consequences and toughen up.

But here’s the problem: when parenting swings from one extreme to another, kids don’t get stronger — they get disconnected.

In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson unpacks where FAFO parenting came from, why it’s exploding across media in the UK, US and Australia, and what it reveals about our cultural moment. Most importantly, he explains why harsh, hands-off “let them learn the hard way” parenting quietly erodes the very thing children need most: security and connection.

If you’re feeling burnt out, frustrated, or tempted to go hardline — listen before you do.

KEY POINTS
FAFO parenting is a backlash against years of gentle, emotion-focused parenting influenced by thinkers like John Gottman.
Parenting trends swing like pendulums — but extremes rarely serve children well.
“Mess around and find out” often carries an implicit threat and emotional withdrawal.
There’s a difference between natural consequences and punitive, emotionally distant parenting.
Children need security, predictability, and autonomy support — not harsh detachment.
Connection builds resilience. Disconnection breeds defiance or insecurity.
You can hold firm boundaries without being cold or cruel.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“FAFO breaks the connection. And connection is the heart of what makes families tick.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child – John Gottman
Parenting ADHD Course – happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Pause before you punish. Ask: Am I teaching — or reacting?
Use natural consequences wisely. Stay warm and present while holding the boundary.
Make rules collaboratively where possible. Autonomy increases buy-in.
Separate emotions from behaviour. Validate feelings, guide choices.
Protect the relationship first. Correction works best when connection is strong.

It&rsquo;s the parenting trend everyone&rsquo;s talking about &mdash; and it might be doing more harm than good.
&ldquo;FAFO parenting&rdquo; (mess around and find out) is being framed as the antidote to gentle parenting. Tougher. Harder. No-nonsense. Let kids face the consequences and toughen up.
But here&rsquo;s the problem: when parenting swings from one extreme to another, kids don&rsquo;t get stronger &mdash; they get disconnected.
In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson unpacks where FAFO parenting came from, why it&rsquo;s exploding across media in the UK, US and Australia, and what it reveals about our cultural moment. Most importantly, he explains why harsh, hands-off &ldquo;let them learn the hard way&rdquo; parenting quietly erodes the very thing children need most: security and connection.
If you&rsquo;re feeling burnt out, frustrated, or tempted to go hardline &mdash; listen before you do.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">FAFO parenting is a backlash against years of gentle, emotion-focused parenting influenced by thinkers like John Gottman.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Parenting trends swing like pendulums &mdash; but extremes rarely serve children well.</li>
<li aria-level="1">&ldquo;Mess around and find out&rdquo; often carries an implicit threat and emotional withdrawal.</li>
<li aria-level="1">There&rsquo;s a difference between natural consequences and punitive, emotionally distant parenting.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Children need security, predictability, and autonomy support &mdash; not harsh detachment.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Connection builds resilience. Disconnection breeds defiance or insecurity.</li>
<li aria-level="1">You can hold firm boundaries without being cold or cruel.</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;FAFO breaks the connection. And connection is the heart of what makes families tick.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.gottman.com/product/raising-an-emotionally-intelligent-child-book/">Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child</a> &ndash; John Gottman</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/parenting-adhd-the-course">Parenting ADHD Course</a> &ndash; happyfamilies.com.au</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Pause before you punish. Ask: Am I teaching &mdash; or reacting?</li>
<li aria-level="1">Use natural consequences wisely. Stay warm and present while holding the boundary.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Make rules collaboratively where possible. Autonomy increases buy-in.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Separate emotions from behaviour. Validate feelings, guide choices.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Protect the relationship first. Correction works best when connection is strong.</li>
</ol>

FAFO Parenting Is Breaking Your Connection

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/4db679b6-6970-4bed-91b2-b3f3017ab112/transcript

Everyone else has a phone. Your child feels left out. And you’re the “mean parent” holding the line.

So what now?

In this solo Q&A episode of the Happy Families Podcast, I unpack one of the most common parenting dilemmas today: peer pressure, smartphones, and the fear that saying no will push your child away.

If your 10–12 year old is desperate to “follow the crowd,” this episode gives you a research-backed, relationship-first roadmap to hold boundaries without losing connection.

Because this isn’t really about the phone. It’s about identity, belonging, and trust.

KEY POINTS
Why friendship becomes central to identity around age 11
The real risk isn’t strict boundaries — it’s feeling dismissed
The 3-step framework: Explore. Explain. Empower.
What the research says about smartphones, depression, sleep, and obesity
The exact script to say when the answer is “not yet”
How to say yes to connection while saying no to the device

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“My job is to protect your developing brain — even when that feels unfair.”

RESOURCES MENTIONED
Study published in the Pediatrics on smartphone use and wellbeing
Previous “Doctor’s Desk” episode on screens
Submit your parenting question at happyfamilies.com.au

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Explore first. Ask: “Tell me what a phone would give you.” Listen without correcting.
Explain calmly. Share the why behind your boundary — not just the rule.
Empower together. Brainstorm ways to increase friend connection without a smartphone.
Give a future pathway. Revisit the conversation at a clear milestone (age, responsibility, contribution).
Stay warm. Boundaries don’t push kids away. Disconnection does.

Everyone else has a phone. Your child feels left out. And you&rsquo;re the &ldquo;mean parent&rdquo; holding the line.
So what now?
In this solo Q&amp;A episode of the Happy Families Podcast, I unpack one of the most common parenting dilemmas today: peer pressure, smartphones, and the fear that saying no will push your child away.
If your 10&ndash;12 year old is desperate to &ldquo;follow the crowd,&rdquo; this episode gives you a research-backed, relationship-first roadmap to hold boundaries without losing connection.
Because this isn&rsquo;t really about the phone. It&rsquo;s about identity, belonging, and trust.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why friendship becomes central to identity around age 11</li>
<li aria-level="1">The real risk isn&rsquo;t strict boundaries &mdash; it&rsquo;s feeling dismissed</li>
<li aria-level="1">The 3-step framework: Explore. Explain. Empower.</li>
<li aria-level="1">What the research says about smartphones, depression, sleep, and obesity</li>
<li aria-level="1">The exact script to say when the answer is &ldquo;not yet&rdquo;</li>
<li aria-level="1">How to say yes to connection while saying no to the device</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;My job is to protect your developing brain &mdash; even when that feels unfair.&rdquo;
RESOURCES MENTIONED
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Study published in the Pediatrics on smartphone use and wellbeing</li>
<li aria-level="1">Previous &ldquo;Doctor&rsquo;s Desk&rdquo; episode on screens</li>
<li aria-level="1">Submit your parenting question at happyfamilies.com.au</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Explore first. Ask: &ldquo;Tell me what a phone would give you.&rdquo; Listen without correcting.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Explain calmly. Share the why behind your boundary &mdash; not just the rule.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Empower together. Brainstorm ways to increase friend connection without a smartphone.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Give a future pathway. Revisit the conversation at a clear milestone (age, responsibility, contribution).</li>
<li aria-level="1">Stay warm. Boundaries don&rsquo;t push kids away. Disconnection does.</li>
</ol>

When All Their Friends Have Phones and You’re Standing Firm

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/05848d99-77e2-4ee2-964c-b3f3017a5bb2/transcript

I’ve publicly called Roblox a “pedophile hellscape.” Then the CEO invited me to meet.

Thirty minutes. One room. No media. No spin.

In this episode, I take you inside the meeting with David Baszucki, co-founder and CEO of Roblox — and share exactly what was said, what got uncomfortable, and why I left unconvinced that kids are truly safe.

If your child plays Roblox, you need to hear this.

KEY POINTS
Why Roblox says it’s designed for the “absentee parent”
The moment the temperature shifted in the room
Ongoing lawsuits and serious safety concerns
Why engagement and growth may still outrank child safety
The uncomfortable truth about parental responsibility
Five clear steps every parent should take today

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE

“I don’t care what people say. I care what people do. And right now, you’re not protecting our kids.”

RESOURCES
Roblox is a Paedophile Hellscape [Article]
5 Ways to Stay Safe Online
Parental controls and Roblox specific controls (esafety.org.au)
The Screen Smart Series [Webinar Series]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
Talk daily – Ask what they’re seeing, who they’re chatting to, and whether anything felt weird or unsafe.
Turn on parental controls – They’re imperfect, but better than nothing. Check them regularly.
Play with your child – Learn the platform. See what they see.
Set clear boundaries – No devices in bedrooms. No screens during family time.
Trust your gut – You don’t need permission to say no. How you say it matters.

I&rsquo;ve publicly called Roblox a &ldquo;pedophile hellscape.&rdquo; Then the CEO invited me to meet.
Thirty minutes. One room. No media. No spin.
In this episode, I take you inside the meeting with David Baszucki, co-founder and CEO of Roblox &mdash; and share exactly what was said, what got uncomfortable, and why I left unconvinced that kids are truly safe.
If your child plays Roblox, you need to hear this.
KEY POINTS
<ul>
<li aria-level="1">Why Roblox says it&rsquo;s designed for the &ldquo;absentee parent&rdquo;</li>
<li aria-level="1">The moment the temperature shifted in the room</li>
<li aria-level="1">Ongoing lawsuits and serious safety concerns</li>
<li aria-level="1">Why engagement and growth may still outrank child safety</li>
<li aria-level="1">The uncomfortable truth about parental responsibility</li>
<li aria-level="1">Five clear steps every parent should take today</li>
</ul>
QUOTE OF THE EPISODE
&ldquo;I don&rsquo;t care what people say. I care what people do. And right now, you&rsquo;re not protecting our kids.&rdquo;
RESOURCES
<ul>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/articles/roblox-is-a-paedophile-hellscape">Roblox is a Paedophile Hellscape</a> [Article]</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/happyfamiliesau/posts/pfbid02EtyqebqnuKYUfYThkQMyaUq2vWxhjZyjkXjq4piWvJG1VMnjj7qLTQLgm5sRPj1cl">5 Ways to Stay Safe Online</a></li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://www.esafety.gov.au/parents/issues-and-advice/parental-controls">Parental controls</a> and&nbsp;<a href="https://www.esafety.gov.au/key-topics/esafety-guide/roblox">Roblox specific controls</a> (esafety.org.au)</li>
<li aria-level="1"><a href="https://happyfamilies.com.au/shop/product/the-screen-smart-series">The Screen Smart Series</a> [Webinar Series]</li>
</ul>
ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS
<ol>
<li aria-level="1">Talk daily &ndash; Ask what they&rsquo;re seeing, who they&rsquo;re chatting to, and whether anything felt weird or unsafe.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Turn on parental controls &ndash; They&rsquo;re imperfect, but better than nothing. Check them regularly.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Play with your child &ndash; Learn the platform. See what they see.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Set clear boundaries &ndash; No devices in bedrooms. No screens during family time.</li>
<li aria-level="1">Trust your gut &ndash; You don&rsquo;t need permission to say no. How you say it matters.</li>
</ol>

What Really Happened When I Met the Roblox CEO

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/fa326977-3de5-4283-9b8b-af3500c58607/clips/47622181-1a56-401c-9dc3-b3f3017a3ab7/transcript

#1009 ADHD in Adults & Toddlers

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