Do You Need A Ride? with Chris Fairbanks and Karen KilgariffThis week, Karen and Chris talk about AARP eateries, vampire vaccines and more!
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Are you leaving? I you wanna way back home? Either way, we want to be there.
Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us time and a termino and gage.
We want to send you off InStyle.
We wanna welcome you back home. Tell us all about it.
We scared her?
Was it fine? Malborn? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride? Do your need to ride?
Ride? Do you need with Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need a ride? This is Chris.
Fairbanks and this is Karen Kilgaroff.
This is my first week of fifty and good news.
I got on my way out of the house my AARP card.
So many benefits.
I thought it was fifty five for ARP, I thought it was sixty five.
I can't believe how many now we're things.
I'm first of all free insulated trunk organizer.
No way.
Yeah.
It keeps everything together when.
You're on the road in the winter, right.
You know, old people they want to just hit the road, travel the globe.
Drive to Alaska.
It's law.
Insulated lining keeps stuff cold.
But the actual member shit benefits are really actually kind of exciting.
I interpreted insulated linings to keep things warm.
I think it works both ways.
I bet it does.
Yeah, anytime you see that kind of padded tinfoil lining, that's for hot ankld hot cold. So you can just you drive to a park, open it up, you're having a picnic, you meet new people.
You say there for four seasons, if not.
Five, Yes, because you are no longer have a home that you call your house.
That's right.
Yeah. Insulate you're retired and you drive.
In this aarp I can save on groceries, dining out, cell phone services, eyeglasses.
Can we go back to the dining out area? Do they say give you any specifics?
I'm I wonder if it's something where I hate that I'm going to do this, but I'm going to pull it out every time I have a transaction. See if it saves me social Security in case, I guess, in case I lost that unlaminated card, Medicare, affordable healthcare, and things that we don't like to talk about, like support and resources for family.
Caregiving, tools, tools for the future.
Nice.
I can age proof my resume. It says, I don't know what that means.
That means no, more saying calabunga dude on your resume.
Right, yeah, all the outdated things, I say, totally awesome.
I think working here is going to be tubular.
You're already fired.
Nope, get rid of it.
That's not going to happen anymore.
There are there are current key phrases and lexicon. Where is it on the back of the card. Yeah, it's it's kind of cool.
And there's a bunch of drug you know, pharmacy stuff.
Yeah, drug available.
It says it's okay to do them after fifty that's cool.
They're like, what are you going to do? Walk to asked from the living room to the kitchen. Uh, yeah, I'm I'm actually kind of excited. Because there's also hotel, car rentals, vacation packages. They really so you're.
Not gonna give any specifics about those things. It's just they basically gave you kind of a punch list of that looks forward to.
They won't give me specifics because I get if I read the fine print it'll be like, oh, whooped, he do well.
I did bring up a list of some restaurants that you can't Okay.
This is gonna what are some of the AARP eateries.
I'll now be getting one percent of.
That food you can you can treat yourself to a nice pretzel from anti.
Ann Yes, I love Antim pretzels and also a lot of these are like ten percent off dining into go orders Bubba Gump Shrip Company.
I love. It's a great movie. He invented this. Shit happens bumper.
Sticker A cinnabon cinnabon Cinnabon?
Is that how you say it?
Are they trying to kill me? Since junk food?
This is literally just covering your walk at the mall. Yes, essentially what's happened.
My last Twilight year walk where I eat all of the bread?
Wow, there's a.
Lot Outback Steakhouse Rainforest Cafe.
Outback Steakhouse is actually no offense to our friends down Under, but very no, they won't take offense.
They want nothing to do with it.
First of all, Foster's isn't even popular there. I've heard Foster's the beer.
Yeah, and they really shove it down your throat with some bloom and onions at the old Outback is very expensive, yeah, and not of that high quality. I mean maybe you all knew this, but I ate at my first outback within the last half century decade, it's probably been in the last half century, since that's exactly fifty years, it counts sure in your lifetime.
The first time I eat there once is a.
Baby, and uh yeah it's I was unimpressed, but I love I love pretzels.
I love pretzels, those antiens pretzels man and it's Wetzels and anti ens. I'm not sure which one is the preferred, but I'll just eat whatever's there because I love those.
Did you.
One day agree with me that it was a good idea to put mustard on your pizza crust? No, okay, I would never, I understand. I thought I would never. My sister, because she was already a teenager, would make me at a pizza place ask for Francis mustard yep, and they'd look at me weird. But I didn't care because I was a kid. I didn't care about every stranger's approval until I.
Was well, yeah, you didn't notice.
Yeah, And to this day, I have to put mustard on my because it tastes on my crust, because it tastes like a pretzel.
I can see it.
Yeah, it's great.
I'm just not a yellow mustard person. Really it's too like and dominating, domineering.
I guess yeah, I'm I'm afraid. I'm a big fan.
You're a big mustard.
Oh yeah, I coated on chicken with some parmesan.
Ooh that's good.
Yeah, I love it. The yellow or the better.
I've always said I when I'm doing a hot pretzels, soft pretzel, whatever they're supposed to be called, giant pretzel, I just want that, like nacho or beer cheese to dip it into. That is all those mustards can go to hell because I'm in it for the liquid cheese.
Yes, I will.
I love that so much, I'll pull out my old fondue set No.
Right there at Anti Amne in the mall.
It's a crock pot for cheese. I plug it in. Usually the outlet is near the register. Yep, and I dip and reach over whoever's ringing someone off and drip drip cheese into the money.
And they're calling security. Yep, cheese into the money.
Drift the cheese in the money.
And they're like, please leave the sir three times this week already.
Sure you're so old. You keep pulling out this card that says you're so old.
It's sick of you.
Boy. It's hard to know what to think when you pass a fully electric hummer.
It's just two worlds right colliding.
I have been looking for and I have found a different electric car to drive. Oh but those hummers, thank you. I mean, I know the kind. I didn't get it or anything, but it's on the way.
No, everyone's ears to this topic. We've been talking about it a lot. This is a good development.
Yeah, there's a step forward. I actually picked one that I would really love to get and then told a person that's going to actually help me because I literally don't have a moment in the day to fucking get anything done and I'm bad at paperwork. So anyway, and it's chosen, we're moving, we're moving.
You don't want to reveal.
Let's do a reveal when it actually.
Exactly and now what if it doesn't happen, When if they demand the clear coat or something and you storm out and it's just like Fargo exactly, and then there's missing cars on the lot. The actually the only true part of Fargo. They say it's based on a true story. Again, this is an article I listened to on my phone but the only true parts were somebody somewhere in that area of the United States did put a wife in a wood chipper oof, and someone unrelated to that story owed some money some bad guys and tried to scratch the serial numbers off cars. According to this article, those are the only two things. Yeah, those Coen.
Brothers, those Coen brothers are Look, here's the thing taking us for a mint. You can though, because they're such good liars that like no one even doubted them to begin with. That story was so good and they made it was almost like the challenge And I'm making this up after the fact, rationalizing and apologizing for them. But what I would say is the challenge is you're telling your audience this is this is a true story, right, and then you have to deliver something they would believe is true.
Right.
So then the thing you're writing and the way you you yourself as the creative is guiding that script is making it as realistic and not as movieish as possible.
But yes, but the same thing could be said for Milli Vanilli or the guy that wrote.
Wrote the is it? Who's the guy that wrote a book in.
Oprah Chats Times Last James it wasn't true. He's like, well, I'm a writer.
I don't know. I want to just sell books, and he really got but.
They didn't gain anything for in that way. Milli Vanilli literally weren't the ones that were singing so until now and oh sorry are they like on.
A guy learned to sing and he sounds exactly like whoever is behind the curtain Clodells Cole.
They basically learned to mimic the people they were, Yes, slip syncing, yeah huh.
It's it's like a victorious secret model learning to.
Sew inspiring thing. My thing, though, was just the Coen Brothers. It was such a dtail. But then it's like, I feel like the trick of them was saying you didn't even think about the fact that that wasn't a true story because it because we presented it to you in a way that felt as real as it could have been.
And there's a word we've uh protect to protect the names of those involved. We changed them and the other name. Like it's something in that wording that's like, oh, none of the people we either made up names or the real names. We changed the story. I of course can't remember what it says, but there's an asterisk. It doesn't just say based on.
A true story.
Right, there's another line. It is a bit of a bit of a puzzle.
Well, and it's what they start Ooh, there's a guy walking down the street too fast holding a big, long pipe.
How did I miss this?
Scary? He had a hood up?
See the guy from that painting where the dog's walking so fast as legs are blurry. Okay, it's one that I had to memorize for school.
He's it was more the vibe of a painting of someone that's on his way to kill someone with a big pipe.
Oh, but that's also back back when all the killers had top hat.
I was going to say that this series also started with that exact same Right, it's based on true story wording.
Right, which I guess they can do because the series was based on the not true movie.
Right.
I'm getting more and more upset with both these Cohen boys. I don't know.
I feel like I'm never going to be upset with me.
Yeah, I know, I'm just being people love conflict. It is, That's what I'm creating. I see, any good script you have to have it in the act too, right, let's talk about your birthday party. Okay, of course I am still riding high. I bet as no one's ever said it is a wonderful yes, and and to think, uh so, no, No. My girlfriend was going to have it be a surprise thing. She invited everyone. I was not part of it until I demanded to know what was going on, why she was so stressed. But it was the The only thing I really focused on was that little photo booth, the the why the click and walk? Why am I.
Always forget because it's it's weird and it doesn't really I call it a.
Point and shoot, which is, of course the cannon owl from nineteen eighty nine.
I just related. Yeah, I remember camera slogans.
But it did end up working. But people were showing up at the last minute. She made so much food. We thought that was the only mistake. I guess is you don't have to have a party that goes from three to ten. That's a long time, and we assumed everyone would show up ready for dinner, so there is much frozen food. I might have another party and the theme is we have a lot of leftover food from my birthday party. Comma party.
I should do it.
Yeah, should absolutely it. That's every party I have is like I have bottles of riper from six years ago.
I want to have another one that's more like your parties, like a select Although the anxiety I felt when Jared Goldstein was the first that showed up and we he was the best, and it was we're cooking, and it wasn't that we were not ready. And then finally Paul Dankey showed up, Eliza Skinner showed up, and everyone was talking, and I had like an anxiety thing. I had to go into the room and breathe for a minute and maybe take a little piece of annex And then.
What was the anxiety about, do you think or how did it come about?
Well, it was validated by everyone at the party saying, oh my god, I was nervous to come here.
I don't even know how. I haven't been to a party in six years.
This is great, and that the whole time, I literally didn't want it to end. At the end, when it was whittled down to some people in the kitchen, a lot of people crying, you know, booze and and.
They miss each other, yes, everybody misses each other.
Of joy, tears of joy, tears.
But I.
And it was one of those things where I was obsessed with the playlist. I think I was traumatized by the Pinata party.
What's the last party I had nine years old? Yeah, and I thought people would be fighting.
I'd invite the wrong person that had an enemy, but anyone where I was worried about that. With who people, that's who was talking and I saw people mending old, old pasts. Yeah, it was just a love fest and I had once I figured out that I just had a bad chord for the speaker and it went to a bluetooth speaker. I brought that down. Everything was great and it was so fun and I tried to talk to everyone a little bit. But I feel at the end that was my only worry, which is a good one. I didn't spend enough time with the possibly one hundred or more people than rotated in and out of Yeah, just the.
Best, just the best.
It was really fun. We came Alison and Goustay and I came later on because we had already made dinner plants and we're just like, well, well then just go over there together. But we stayed. We entered and then stayed. So for the listener there was like Chris's girlfriend's backyard is like terraced, and so you enter on one level, then you can go up to a deck, then you can go behind you up three levels to like there was karaoke up there, and there was all these kind of it was very cool and laid out, really cool. But what we did is we just walked in and stopped and stayed exactly where we were at the entrance the entire time.
That's what I do at party.
It's my favorite post up. And then everybody that walked in was so nervous that it was making me laugh because I was like, oh, I thought this was my weird thing about going to parties. Every person it was like, I don't want to call anybody out, but it was like people would walk in and they'd be kind of like blinking and like wild eyed and kind of like, oh, hey, what's up. And then it would be like me and Chip, Pope and Paul thank you, being like, hey man, what's up? It's you know whoever I won't name names. Oh I'm going to get a drink and some fries if anybody wants.
Well, even someone a tall, handsome Nick Foon, who's always since I met him, seems and maybe I think this whenever someone's like tall and good looking, just confident all the time.
He said, this is crazy.
I haven't been to a party in so long. I don't even know how to act, like if you saw it, and I thought I saw it in everyone, But I'm glad to hear you say that.
Yes, like I definitely saw it.
And we are a group of friends and possibly a city in trauma with the last I mean the world, sure, and but also the fires and everything. Everyone is everything needed a party. Not that I'm saying I saved the city. That's what you're saying now that it comes out of my mouth, though it comes out with such with such belief and comfort. Saved this city, entire city.
Yeah, you know, it was cool when we walked years rock and roll.
Either when we walked in, Laura kitling Our's husband Garrett was there and she had already left because she had to go to a set. And I love Garrett. I've been like backstage at Largo with him or like a standing at a party in the same circle whatever, and I was so happy and relieved because he's such a chill, cool guy to talk to. And then of course cannot remember his name, and I know his name. I've hung out with him a lot, and I was in that full panic and then I was doing the thing of like, oh, sorry, do you know Alison and then be like, hey, what's up and wouldn't say it and wouldn't say it, and I was just like, okay, whatever. Like those are the kinds of things that at parties I get so in my head where I'm like, yep, he hates my guts now, blah blah, why am I such a bad person or whatever, and I feel like those kind I am now in the later end of that I don't care anymore party anxiety, where it's like and if he does, god bless, I still love him. And of course it would suck if somebody that you've known for ten years can't remember your name. But guess what that that is the way it is.
Some of my closest friends I can't think of their name. If someone knew whose name I do know because I've just told it, or it rhymes was something, or I have some.
Mnemonic device or pneumatic is.
A nebrill, pneumonic and pneumatics the drill.
Yeah, yeah, but very close friends I will draw a blank just as a as an obstacle to create for myself.
Knowing in your head it's the worst thing that could be happening right now. That's the thing my brain will serve up, which is, Nope, you don't know that person.
Yep, that's exactly. What's the worst thing I could do right now?
Yeah, exactly, while on stage, forget all my jokes.
Yep, I will do that social and here we go.
Yeah, let's see how it feels, just as I suspected.
Awful.
Yeah, glad to know.
But there is also a lot of faces all happening at once, and the alphabet is too many letters. There's a lot of reasons we don't remember names.
Just fill the car up with this French fries smell.
It smells great.
It I The only regret I have is my sister wanted to sing karaoke I used in the past life. I enjoyed it, and she remembers that. But she made me sing Billy Joel with her scenes from an Italian restaurant, which no one wants to hear.
It's fourteen minutes long. No he wants to hear that, I know.
And people gathered around at first because we did. It was like we had rehearsed it. But it was as if we'd rehearsed it. It wasn't like we did in rehearsals. We did not practice maybe on a cruise ship fifteen years ago. But yeah, we walked some people off the old karaoke deck like people were like, god, this song is the worst, and I agree, and I apologizes.
My only regret.
I really could have chosen even a better Billy Joel song.
I mean, did you just do that based on like, oh, this was a fun thing we did? Forgot how long it was.
She knows that it was one of my final songs in this karaoke competition I won in Montana.
What Yeah?
But the other song was bust a Move by Young MC.
I mean, I there you go, there's your show stop right there.
And I knew people would like it, and I knew it had been done before. It's not like comedy with karaoke. Hack wins yes, snack yeah, And I.
Don't remember good reason.
I don't know what I won at the Stockman's Bar.
I bet some drinks right right, Yes.
I think that's all I got.
But I did do some Stevie Wonder But it wasn't even a good It was I just called to say I love you.
This song from some Gene Wilder movie.
One of the World.
Yes, it is maybe the only bad Stevie Wonders song. Yeh, yes, exactly.
It's like the melody is a demo from a keyboard. It is. It is.
It felt like somebody made Stevie. They were like, you need to hit you have to do this and that. So he's like, fine, you're so smart, tell me how to do it.
Yeah, here's the beat made up by a mathematician and a lab and but it's the only Stevie wonder song where I could hit all the notes. But I wasn't gonna, you know, normally nowadays I go for something new wave, eighties, something nostalgic. But that was the wrong choice. I apologize to anyone that heard my Billy Joel. My sister also apologizes.
But yes I did not just say.
Going forward, everything has to be like especially karaoke, go it in, get in, make it big, make it fast, and get out right.
Yeah right, I agree. It's have we learned nothing from TikTok two minutes? Yes, do commercial jingles and get out, But yeah, I did not know or it was supposed to be a surprise that my sister was arriving, but because of finding places for sleeping, it had to be revealed. But I still acted surprise. When I drove and pick her up at the airport. I had no idea you were going to be here.
It is crazy.
Of course you're here. You're my older sister. It's my fiftieth birth time.
Yeah, it was. It was.
It was so fun. And the photos, I shall post them. Those are the things that loom over me now. I didn't post all the photos. Why take them If I don't show them, They're just in my phone. If you come over, I'll show you the Getty. When I just gribed the water mark, it didn't probably make sense to you. To me, it did not, But then when you saw it.
Then I saw it in real life and freaked out like every other person at this party, who was like everyone is kind of crissaying, like it's just like.
He's just so creative. How does he do it? How does he think of it? It's just so crazy, isn't it good? Georgia was like over the moon about the Getty water marks.
Oh, I loved it.
That's so great. I love that it that it worked. I didn't know.
I mean at an hour before the party, I was figuring out I was gonna hang it and stick it in the ground like a campaign sign, but then you'd see the wires, the actual metal wire, so I had to suspend it. I found a pool cleaning gnats, breaking it at white literally drilled it into a bush behind the backdrop, so.
It was it was being held with something that was coming out from the back.
Yeah, yeah, like a pole. And then it was swaying in the wind. But I remembered some thing about centrifugal force from I believe Bill neither science guy. If if the two wires aren't of equal length, I tilted it at an angle, and because one of the filament, the basically fishing line, was a little longer, it didn't swing back and forth, okay, because I was at an angle, so I used. It felt like that, you know, you take algebra or math class and you're like, I'll never use this, and then you find you do, at age fifty at your party used.
So you were really digging in there to my project.
Y Yes, and I'm glad that it worked.
And it looked like that watermark I didn't realize on photos online when someone goes to a dare I say, gala or you know, the award show red carpet, there's always that translucent this is for the listener. I know you know this and they probably know it, but that I did not know. It literally was a gray transparent box. No, and you can see people's hands behind it and everything. It's so that that tinted plexiglass worked perfect, and it was an optical illusion. It was like all the time I put into Halloween costumes, but this time everyone got to try it on.
But you know what I mean, yes, exactly, your creation, your artistic creation wasn't just.
For you, right.
But wait, I'm confused because you're saying the Getty watermark on normal red carpet step and repeat. Photography is a material practical thing.
No, No, it's I think they put it on, you know, just it's stamped on there and you have to pay to have it removed. But in the photos, it really is a translucent gray rectangle that goes to the edge of the photo. Yeah, and it looks now that I'm looking at those photos online, it looks like a piece of plexic glass in front, like there's no indication that it isn't that, but I know it isn't.
Yeah, I know it isn't.
Yeah, I just that's how much this thing looked like it. It was like, it felt like a little bit like practical movie effects, like when they're painting tiny Star Wars village. It's like a painting in a background, the way they used to have to do it before computers. Yeah, it felt like, and I'm again giving myself way too much credit, you.
Know, the early industrial light and magic.
Yeah, we're very much like yeah that style.
Sure, but yeah it worked. I'm glad it worked, and I'm glad it finally. I was excited for you specifically to see it, because I know, trying to describe it made no sense, but I was very happy that you came. Thank you for coming.
Of course, No, it was fun, it was I knew it would be a good a I knew it'd be a good group. But then b I was like, what better party to go and meet some of these Chris fairbanks man boy friends. Yeah that are like skate professional skateboarders or I don't know whatever. I've heard about all these people in your life that are not comedians and I was like, well, that's gonna be great because it isn't just the usual, Like there's a there's this cross section of like you and all your interests and your hobby friends.
Thanks. Yeah, that was it was. It was really cool.
Although there was always a connect between those friends and some comedian friends, like they realized they had friends in common and it just happened to work out that way. There was no one there that felt out of place, which was my biggest fear sense that trauma, traumatic party where I invited my two smart girlfriends in fifth grade and the other the boys were wild.
And swinging sticks. I was like, that can ever happen again?
And I'm not even making it up that it actually I'm like, I can't throw parties. I just made these two girls feel uncomfortable, you know what I mean. Sure, but it worked. It was great enough. Bragging a good party.
Is really something to brag about because it's not easy and it takes a ton of work. Yeah, and it's it's hard. It is stressful. It is like, especially you're like you have that many people. It's people don't understand, especially when somebody was like you should have another party and you could just do that thing where you're not hosting, you're just walking around socializing. I go, that kind of party doesn't exist.
Or the part you had a party and you had I think sprained your ankle severely, yes, and you were walking around just on it because you had to.
Yes, mostly I was leaning against the kitchen counter. But I think I make that work. I think that it's a small enough how and the kitchen is kind of it's not central. It's almost like the kitchen is the end point. You come around that corner, and so everybody socializes out in the front room. But then you can also it's almost like a side room, but it's the kitchen and it's open.
And if you're gonna post up at a location anyway, might as well be the kitchen.
You know, everyone's gonna go there, right.
And I can kind of like lean against the counter like flow from Alice and just like, yeah, be the kitchen personality.
Yes, Oh that's my favorite to be flow from Alice.
That's what anybody wants.
And you picked a good You and Trip were like at the landing of the stairs, so it is a perfect everyone's coming down the stairs, I'm gonna be right here.
They have to answer to us. They had to answer to us.
Yes, you had those microphones and the press hats.
I was excited to see Michae O'Connell and I want him to be on this podcast again.
I was so excited to see him and he looks great, and yeah, I he is a very good friend and I have not seen him in years.
Oh nice. Good.
A lot of friends I have not seen in years that were at that party, and then they said the same thing to me, I haven't been around these people in years.
The last few years has flown.
By, Yes it has, and.
It was just nice to have it validated, like you are with the anxiety of parties. For everyone to say that, yeah, and you could tell it was like it was just nothing but love. And the first time I've not seen a cell phone out. Maybe they're a photo was taken here or there, but I plugged mine in and didn't think about it.
Same hours.
Yep, nobody did.
Yeah, And it was kind of that part was almost nostalgic, which is weird, but.
I think people maybe do are doing it more and more where it's like the level of discomfort I feel like when you go to a party, if you're at the level of discomfort where you have to keep looking at your phone like you know, there's a problem, right, because that's not the point of fucking going to parties. Yeah, and that also is kind of like the point of getting friends together is like, oh, I have to seem cool and like I have other stuff going on. It's like kay buy then, like, yeah, who cares?
I think that Actually we're we're recovering from that early two thousands scene in a movie where everyone's at brunch and they're staring at their phones not talking to each other. That's kind of not everyone's more conscious of that now, I.
Hope, Yeah, for sure.
And yeah, very fun, very fun, and so lucky that the rain was just it's that party was in a rain sandwich if the dryness were meat and the rain were bred because last year I just had like a gathering and it poor drain.
Yeah.
And uh, the power went out the minute my friend Bill, who's great and does that Hard Times news, Oh yeah, he was the first to knock. I'm like, oh, there's a guest. The second he knocked on the door of the power went out, the street was a river. I'm like, the party is off, no one's coming, And fifty people still came, and there's candles and urban stayed and my friend Charlie, who I skate with and as a buddy, his wife was mixing frosting with a hand mixer, like it just became a little house.
On the prairie party. That's great. Yeah, and that was again, but fifty was a big one.
So well, where was Howard Kramer at that party?
I am worried about some of the people that didn't show up because I've used well at first, soon i'd used what she could emails. I don't know how she contacted so many people, but I pretty sure I just texted him for the invite. Yeah, and I didn't hear back, and I haven't talked to him since the fires were a block from his house, so.
Oh Jesus, I need to check in with him.
I think he's okay, but I I it was.
It was the first thing I thought of.
And hope I didn't say to Chip, but I met them together and I think of them as comedy partners still, and.
I hope I didn't say, hey, Chip, here, where's Howard?
Like they you know, I just thought of it because roommates are something we stood around with Chip, and then I was just like, well, where's where's Howard? Sorry?
Yeah, yeah, I don't think either of them would be offended because it's just yeah, that's where I believe Jimmy Pardo records his podcast in the Little Door. Yeah, one of the first podcasts. I would say he started the podcast thing in my mind. Part of yeah, mm hmm, pre Mark Maren probably pre I mean, I'm sure there was probably some radio shows.
There was that member Trust, not Terrustrial. It was internet radio and it was all those people like Dave Anthony was in it, Greg barn was in it. Mark Maren was in it, right, And it was out in Santa Monica and it was in like an airplane hangar. But then there were people in individual mobile homes in this airplaying hanger. I can't remember what it was called, and I think I can't either, but I feel like Jimmy started there right, that is the He would definitely know the name of that setup.
It's funny, it was it hadn't been around that long when we started this, But when we started this, I'm like, oh, we're in this game so late right cut to now, it's like, oh.
We had no idea.
Yeah, but uh, I'm glad we're still doing it. I'm very nostell. I'm looking back on life. That's what you do when you're fifty, and it's all good memories.
Good. Yeah, that's great news. And what do you see for your next Let's be honest, twenty two years?
Just kidding, right right?
I know that was I should have said, that's fifty.
No, it is.
I've been thinking of fifty my whole life as a halfway point, and then the day you wake up fifty, you're like halfway.
Who the hell do I think I am?
Helen voris my great grandmother who lived to one hundred and one, born in the late eighteen hundred, eighteen ninety nine or ninety eight, and made it to two thousand and one.
Incredible three that's three centuries. She saw Jesus Christ.
Technically, did you have anything like by the time she made it to the third century? Was she like Thissus nuts?
I wonder I never had a real sit down heart with her.
I could have should be her brain.
I remember she was when she was a hundred or one hundred and one, she came out. She lived behind my dad's aunt and uncle, Patent Jim my parents names.
Yeah, yes, how did I patten Jim Patent?
Jim?
He was? He was so tall and strong too. Oh my god, this is where we find out we're fully related.
That's so weird. And it's your uncle and aunt are my mom and dad. We never put it together.
Well anyway, going down up down to Penaloment to see my grandma Bore. Wait a minute, Cottonwood Boulevard.
You're just pulling in the driveway as my mom's pulling out to drive us to like the roller skates.
It happened hundreds of times.
Yes, you're missus every time.
That's why I felt like I knew you.
That's why your sister seems like my sister.
Yeah, that's great. Uh, I think that Grandmavorus went in and said, well, I don't think i'll be around tomorrow. So like in a healthy way, I just called it, really said but I love you, and and passed away with a smile on her face, like the own the way that we all hope we go. Whoa, that's called it. Yeah, it is great, but let's be honest, probably won't happen to me. It's just weird to wake up and think I'm okay, three fours.
What if it's two thirds?
It could be anything. I mean, like the way we also are just at that tipping point of like the future where they could discover something and it's like, oh no, we just you have two hundred years at it, right, and it's.
A shot that you take.
Would you take it?
Sure? I would too?
Why not?
What if you have to be one hundred and something years old the whole? What if it does nothing to the way you look and they're just you're alive, but you're just kind of a bag of bone.
You're like vampire style. So what you're saying, did your body age or you stop aging?
But you're just old.
I don't even want to think about it that way. Let's have it be a vampire style.
Vampire style for sure.
And it's a vampire shot, that's what we call.
It, which means someone by trenet.
Yes, and you have to live in New Orleans.
That's all of that is a yes to me?
Yeah, yeah, for sure.
I love I think of all the monsters, well, I love the Mummy. What we won't get into that right now.
Let's talk about the monster mash.
The Mummy is like so underrated because no one really knows why. It's like you're a monster because you're dead, right, that's it. What's the mummies like? Skill?
Yeah? Hands out, yeah, arms up, there's no seduction, has pain riddled elbows, all.
That dusty fucking gauze around every limb Uh.
He sinks there's always a cloud around him, like pig pen at a party.
But it's sandy. It's getting in your eyes.
It's just sand and toilet paper, the two terrible things to have in your butt crack.
Yeah, and it's his whole body.
It's that all the time combined.
Yeah, Frankenstein was created with parts and is strong and good with kids.
And that great blazer yeah perfect.
Are they shoulder pads?
No?
I mean that's the one part of the body that came from a linebacker. Yeah. But what does the mummy do?
The mummy represents the maybe like the ancient dead who are very irritated with everybody.
Right, I yeah, you have to think of the mummy as like from a tomb and a pyramid, and then it's like, oh cool, this mummy has riches.
I tried to look up what the mummy Mummy's powers are and the silly AI overview which I'm still trying to figure out how to disable on my phone. Can't this is in fiction because it's, you know, something that just came from fiction. The Mummy franchise. Mummies have powers such as controlling their bandages, reverting into a monstrous form, and regenerating. But the controlling their bandages.
Is right when I guess that from I guess I've seen Have you seen where their arm falls off and they have like a strand of toilet paper hanging off, and then all of a sudden they have a new arm.
I guess I've seen that.
Oh I was, I was interpreting as they just can wrap up what's left over very neatly, and that's they've controlled the bandage, right, I.
Think that's the They're a lot like the invisible Man.
You need it.
There isn't really an arm there, but if they wrap it, all of a sudden, there's an arm, a ghost arm.
I don't think controlling bandages is a good power, but maybe I'm just being judgmental.
So yeah, they so they they'd like put their hands on their temples and make the gauze go uh oh, there's a fire in it. The gauze grabs a water pitcher and pours it out, or since.
They're monsters, like it's they grab someone's ankle with the gauze.
Oh right. They wouldn't help a tragic situation. They'd cause it.
Or they'd kind of revel in it happening. Yeah, they wouldn't help.
But those arms outstretched, really all they would do is knock over drinks at a party.
I mean that's truly. There's just the bo version of like anything, which is like, how scary are we talking?
Yeah?
There, yeah, there, I do Okay, I now I want to have a really detailed Halloween party.
They're really deeply researched. Yes, wait, why are we talking about this because monsters?
Yes, I do not remember vampire shot.
Oh right, wanting to be yes, living, yeah, vampire.
There's a lot going on.
They're small, hundreds of.
Years, hundreds of years, sexiness, they're always attractive. People are always about them, so they're always getting it and they're kind of like, fine, I'm gonna add you to my army. It's really it feels very like worth it in terms of like, you know, they're around for a long time, but they can kind of get what they want well.
Their account so it's like, oh, I have all this money and I just have people come to the house because I beckon them and every once in a while I suck on their neck bud employee for.
Life when they're asleep.
Right, yeah, have you seen the notes? Fat? I did see.
It's very I enjoyed it quite a bit. But it's that stars guard guy, the son of the of Robin Williams's friend in Goodwill Hunting.
That guy has a you know, a team of sons.
That are all good actors, but that guy, you know he's it because he went in and he did that googly eye thing where he's when I go up, they're like, you're hired. Well, you can't even tell it's him, but because of makeup and everything, but he is real spooky in subtle ways, very spooky.
Yeah, I very much liked it.
My one note is that he spoke at the exact same pace the entire time.
Oh really yeah.
And that's when I said.
Hey, oh yeah, let's kind of change this up a little, right, Oh you're I.
I think I of course noticed that, But for some reason it was working for me really because it was just a weird choice and he committed to it. Like, sometimes it's true when someone's doing a weird thing and it bothers you at first, and then they just dig in and do it even more and more. You're like, uh, maybe I do like it. I get hypnotized by the poor choice.
You wore me down, and now this seems brilliant.
Yes, exactly, Yeah, that will happen.
I think a lot of actors have done that to us all.
I think that's very true, where you're just like, I don't need to fight this. I don't have the energy I'm supposed to be being entertained. Let's get this over.
Yes, right, yeah, I think Jim Carrey did that to a lot of people.
They were resistant.
My father did not like Adam Sandler at first, and then after a while he's like, these.
Are my two favorite people.
And I'm dad, but but Dad, are you counting me?
But twenty years ago, when I enjoyed Billy Madison, you were furious with me.
I told you that My dad told me Ron Lynch was his favorite comedian.
Right, Oh does Ron Lynch know this?
Oh? Yeah, but I was like, you do know I'm a comedian, right, yeah, that's like every title painful.
April Richardson went home, her mom would not stop talking about Steve Harvey.
Yes, be your favorite comedian.
Worship Steve harp Yeah, she's.
Like, oh, you should have gotten into comedy, mom, I am.
Yeah, that's that's the best.
I mean, it was hard to argue. Of course, Ron Lynch is one of the best comics of all time, and especially those early days when I was in San Francisco and he was in Saris. He was like, it was truly like seeing a mermaid. He was just so different and cool and special and fucking hilarious. Yeah, you still don't want to hear it to your face that your dad's like, I don't even know what you do for a living. What I'm interested in is stand up comedy through the eyes of Ron Lynch.
That's so great.
All right, Well that's a testament. I mean, Ron Lynch is one of the first alt you know, he's been doing this forever, and I had the alternative comedy thing is not that's a phrase that isn't used anymore, but it means something to us.
Yeah, that's true, he was in it.
I knew him from like old Luisk, like way back when he made these short films sixteen millimeters sometimes silent films that weren't that jokey, they were just I was a fan of this DVD. Yeah, And of course when he came to Capsy and when no one knew who he was, he was in the small room, Jim Hamilton and I were like, we like your short films, and of course he is a dick, but I knew Ron Lynch was in a few of those, would like David Tell and other New York.
Yeah, when he's the one where it was like the Love Story, I think Laura Kitlinger was in it, but there's that scene where he's way down the hallway in the airport, and so I think Louis was the one that was in it. Whoever the or maybe it was Craig Anton. Whoever was in the foreground, was like near the camera, obviously ten feet away from the camera. Ron Lynch was walking behind him and was easily fifty yards away. And then at the end of the scene, like it's say, it's some Craig Anton and Laura talking to each other and then they walk away and then Craig Anton just standing there staring and way in the background. Ron Lynch has a heart attack and drops dead, but way down the hall. Yeah, and it is the funniest thing I've ever seen where I'm just like that is like it's just background where like at the very last second, the background actor has his own fucking moment and it's like, yoh no, now that guy's dead for no reason. Yeah. Yeah, it's so brilliant.
But you have to be watching. You have to really pay attention to see it. They don't shove it down your throat. Yeah. I when I met Ron Lanch and had moved here, I was like, I know you from these movies I like and.
Now and you said it in that c Yeah, I.
Know you from these films. I admire my precious. I can use my guys to manipulate the world.
That's not a mummy voice. That's the other thing about not Ted bey Labor this mummy business.
He doesn't even talk. They don't have voices.
He just makes like grumbling, mumbly sex sand noises, maybe we'll call it.
I think that's sand.
I think that's just from the Brendan Fraser franchise Frazier. Yeah, where it's a lot of sand.
Involved sand and scorpions.
Oh, don't get me started. You get well, if I told my scorpions story for the fifteenth time.
I will not get it. You will not.
It's your birthday. If this is how you want to spend your birthday, you can do it.
Yeah, celebrate fifty years of overtold stories.
That's really what we all end up doing.
That is what life is. Yeah, just telling the same story over and over and hoping you get away with it.
Yeah, it's just having a podcast really puts that tendency under a microscope. But when my growing up, when my dad would be tell a story, my sister and I would be like, well, you just pulled number fifty six or whatever, like each story had a number.
Yep, sorry, Dad, if you're listening.
Uh, oh, Jim, listen, Jim, Jim, come back.
It's such a it's so weird that I find out we're related. Pat and Jim.
Wow, Uncle Pat andam Jim.
Kind of a tan house mm hmm.
Okay, yeah, with grandma's house in the back.
Yep, Wow, yep, great Grandma Boris.
She had her own holiday which was commemorated with a bench. Uh in Coronado what Uh? Yeah, I know your parents also lived in Coronado, California.
Okay, did you know we would.
Drive all the way down there, and my dad had all these cousins that looked like the beach boys, like Cocomo era beach boys.
Oh okay, Hawaiian.
Shirts and blonde hair. I had these cousins that like surfed and skated, and I'm like, I'm related that person's name Fairbanks.
It really validated.
My Montana desire to be like surfey skater kids. Sure cool and it was the best memories were driving in the back of the usually not air conditioned car all the way from Montana down to the farthest southern reach of the United States, just riffing with my sister, you know, acting out song lyrics. I vividly remember certain coloring books and drawings and just early memories or on the road, which is why, for memory's sake, AARP wants you to do a lot of road trip.
That's right.
Yeah, They're like, let's get you back out there.
Yeah.
I just remembered when you were saying, like the coloring books and stuff like that. We went on a road trip once.
Where did we go.
I think it's we drove to Ashland to go to the Shakespeare Festival.
Oh yeah, Oregon is a lot about or Shakespeare going on.
Yeah, yeah, and sir, I wonder what you're doing, wonder what you think you're doing and what you're going to do, because this isn't parking.
He's shifting about. I think he poured something in his lap. And he's a guy on a stakeout. See he was spying on someone. They knocked out his.
Tail light there, okay, all right, he's wearing a trench coat.
Anyway, on this on this road trip, we had these books that had a pen that turned into orange highlighter when you put it in the book. So there was all these things of like filling out quizzes and it was just very specific where it's like this pen. It was like they were trying to convince you. There was like there was a magic element to the pen right right. The pen was like kind.
Of was it disappearing ink or it's appearing ink.
It was like a highlighter was the final effect. Oh, but in this book it kind of made it. It was like you've just filled out this quiz and now these are the docks that are filled and.
Now god, I kind of remember that, you know what I mean?
Yeah, it would appear right right, I Yeah, vivid memories of that my For some reason, this coloring book I remember was Kellogg's, a brand, Kellogg's Tony the Tiger coloring book. Vividly remember it like it was yesterday. Why do I remember that and not half the names of my partygoers?
Because you saw it when you were younger and there was less stuff in your brain, so right, imprinted easier.
I think that's true.
I think it's also the reason.
I think it's four distinct seasons.
That make me remember early life more.
But it's that it's that my brain has no clutter, right, I need to embrace the single season here in California seventy five.
Today, I it is, it is and I love it.
Yeah. It feels clean like a cleansing.
Yeah, and real nice and chili like it.
Is to don't I mean anyone else in the country, you would laugh in our faces.
This is California weather talk, right, and I've been.
I was just in Chicago. It was one degree. I walked through and get it, I know, but.
You're not freezes in your nose. You can't look open your eyes because of the ice.
I thought I had it all figured out.
I walked from the airport to the nearest train station to go to Milwaukee.
I'm like, what's a seventeen minute walk? I can do that? By my nose.
I didn't feel it for two days and the skin was peeling off it. I think I basically had frostbite.
Yeah, so there's the answer to your question.
Right, I think I know now what had it?
Do you think that that walk would be different if you had control of your own bandages?
Right?
Could you have changed the outcome anyway?
I would have had it my bandage wrap around the bumper of a car and then ice skate on the ice.
Under dip your gauze feet into a fountain. They freeze, right, they're your literal ice skates.
Oh yeah, the mummy has tons of powers? How did I forget about all these?
The real power that the mummy has is creativity, and then everything after that is gravy.
Yeah for the mummy.
And if you need Oh I wish I had something to ride on. The Mummy's there to give you a little post it note off top of his hand.
How about a bandage to write on its heart? And it's going to break apart because I'm ancient and uh is their.
Skin on it? Yes?
That was my skin and life.
Skin. You're lucky you have skin is the mummy voice. Suddenly he's got a very powerful voice.
I love the idea of a mummy that's like, you should be lucky.
Guilty in you?
Yeah, all these at least you have a heart. Mine's nothing but a withered carcass because on the account that I'm dead.
And all, Yes, I get it, Yes we get it.
Mummy. Why did we invite him to the mash? Did you ever see why am I?
Dough Boys podcast with Weiger?
Nick Weiger's video for Funnier Die where it's the Monster Mash but he's singing about an orgy.
No, it was the.
Monster fuck and they fucked and they sucked and it was like everyone like in sexual positions. It because it was him doing it. And I know him to be a joke writer for a show I worked on, and all of his jokes were clean, and he's not. I never would even imagine him swearing when he made this video for Funnier Die or something, I yeah, very very much enjoyed it.
If you're listening, that was twenty years ago.
Probably, Nick Wiger, if you're out there, you.
Were great at writing jokes.
And I think I believe I fellow followed Nick Weiger on Twitter back when it was still Twitter.
Yeah, I think that that it was a time like Bridger Wineger days of like that people got discovered on Twitter.
Didn't he move here because of his Twitterer?
Yeah, I don't know if you moved here or if you already lived here.
Sure are one of the earliest episodes that Bridger was on he was talking about getting basically headhunted from Twitter.
Huh, well, oh that's true. But I think he lived in la oh Okay. Yes. Jimmy Kimmel saw his his tweets and his jokes and his running He did this running thing about his volleyball team and was like, this is the funniest person.
He like.
He went viral basically for having an incredibly innovative mind and a very very good writing style, and he just basically like posted that way and showed people where It's like, yeah, anybody could get on there and be like, here's a dick joke. I'm waiting at the bus stop, or but then he was just kind of like, here's my presentation, right.
And said conversationally, I would not lower myself to deliver a dick joke around him or some crass I feel like, I'm I want I don't know. I do know that at the party, everyone kept coming up and saying how much I liked him, Like, yeah, yeah, It's something about his voice. I'm like, oh yeah, he's got like a there's a calm, everything's gonna be okay element to just his speaking voice.
Yes, he also has kind of the vibe of like a rich, you know, upper class Connecticut housewife. We're always is like, oh, Karen, how are you. Yeah, there's a little bit of that to it, which feels ella and refined and like, you know, we're all doing something here.
Yeah. Yeah.
I also wanted when I had my valure or no terry cloth cabana outfit. You know, I had some costume changes at the party, did you I really want Bridger to see the shorts that came with the shirt. I don't know why. I'm like, you will appreciate this. I don't know why, and he's like, but I very much do. I'm like, I don't know why. I'm not just showing you my shorts because I feel like you would wear the short.
I just want your approval, give it to me and I got it because I yelled.
I yelled, as yep, that counts. That counts too. Did you notice his jacket, which is my favorite thing.
No, I don't think I did.
It was like, so he and I figured out because he got it in Italy. But it looks like an American, like a varsity almost like a jacket from Indiana nineteen fifty, right, a varsity jacket, but with all the stitching on it. But then I was like, but wait, what school is that? And then we were looking at I go, this isn't from a specific school or college or place. This is like all of the names. It looked to me like was all stitching examples of like this one is cursive, this is block letters, this.
Is this I do remember peripherally.
Yeah, but it's like a silk bomber varsity jacket.
It's just the best jacket, like a jacket James Dean would wear exactly outside of a cafe, ye looking grumpy and smoking cigarettes. Being a heart thobzob the old.
Heart thob, a heart thob which is basically when you plug into the heart. Yeah, several different plugs.
Yeah, it's like a throb but you can hear the beating noise.
It's a heart thop.
Oh my god, dive out now, don't do it when I say things that don't make sense.
It's okay.
Right at the overpath, it's weird.
Now there's a seems like there's a lot of traffic.
I wonder if James Deen would have remained because he put out like three or four movies, right, mm hmm, would he have remained popular?
Absolutely? He was beautiful faced, right, and those movies are as far as I know.
Right, he was.
He was cause he was acting with a normal, normal speaking voice back whenever, and what's kind of talking like this and movies because that's how you had to right, And he was like, what if I just talked normal? I came and Brando did that?
I think, Yeah, I think he did it before Brando for sure.
Although but every photo of him wearing Bridger's jacket, he is just smoking outside of a pie shop, well smiling.
Yeah.
I'm just saying he probably wouldn't have been nice to me. God rest his soul.
I mean, I don't you don't have to make it about you.
I don't think it'd be nice to you.
Yes, he would, oh care while.
You had to make it about you, didn't you.
Ooh, look we're in you're a old neighbor. Ooh, that's used to happen all the time.
I really like this neighborhood. I'm glad I lived here.
Yeah, it does have its own community feel.
What's nice is being this close to You're in Los Angeles basically is Bourbank. It's over the hill, but the Burbank police are a present, all president and accounted for. You don't need to look for a cop in Burbank the way you do in La.
Really and that that brings you comfort, but probably not if you're a teenager.
Uh. It brought me comfort as a single lady living right over there where it was like if I called NIMA one, they would literally be here in probably ninety seconds, as opposed to you don't call NIMA one in the city.
Of miss angel And if you do, be prepared to say yes when they say, isn't there an injury? Are you bleeding? Is your leg broken? Anything? Car wreck?
Just say yes, because they otherwise aren't.
They're too busy, right, But then if you say yes and you don't have that, they'll just go right.
Yet we're basically speaking the lyrics from the Public Enemy song.
Yeah, that's true, and we're in the whitest way we possibly can.
I called nine one one a long time ago, don't you see. I'll wait, they're reacting.
You realize we're being humorous about nine to one one, because that's the way it is in this area.
It is that was in a rough cut of the song. It didn't didn't run.
They were like, let's take that again.
This is this the last Big Boy?
I don't know, but it's probably one of the.
Last who had a joke about rust coming out of the Big Boy statues.
But someone did, did they? Who is it?
Jimmy Pardo?
I know I'm presenting this like trivia, but it's trivia that I don't know the answer to.
It's true trivia questions, literally, trivia questions.
They have no answer, So it's the for It's just trivial. But yeah, this is like was it Henry Phillips? Boy, that's a good guess.
Yeah.
Also at my party, was he there?
I didn't see him for a.
Yeah, yeah, a lot of people and I appreciated this even more not to keep boasting about my gala, but when they just showed up for like, I'm just here, I'm on my way to a show. I can't stay long. I just wanted to say hello, which means they parked on their way to the comedy store or something, just came in for ten minutes, yeah, and then had to go nice.
That's what.
Thune did. A lot of people were like, just stop by, which meant so much. And a lot of people I invited did not reply, maybe because they already got an email or something for the party app which did let you know who's going, which is kind of cool. Ooh, I'll wear something that personal life.
You know you do that?
Sure you dressed to the people at the party.
Yeah, yeah, of course, that's what everyone does. I had an outfit ready for each guest.
Just didn't have enough time keep them all happy.
But yeah, it it when someone didn't reply hey I'll be there, or even or anything. They didn't let any cat out of a bag. They just showed up.
And then it was even many even more. But you didn't reply to the text.
Yeah, I want you to be on the edge of your seat and now I'm here.
Big revealed. Can you think of anyone specifically who did that that you were so excited to see?
Oh man, look at.
That Russian over there on the corner.
Oh top hat killer.
Oh yeah, with the flak jacket, military boots looking yeah kind of Yeah, what are you up.
To waiting for a flood? You drive d I actually rolled down the window. He's coming on the bike. I missed the old days of people chasing us.
We'll get we'll get back there, yeah soon.
I just I didn't know how to roll down the window. Now I'm gonna scream at everyone. It'll be great for podcasts. Uh yeah, it's uh, there's a there's a lot of spies around here. It's the point I.
Want you to tell me though, since I only saw the people that walked by me on my terraced level, who else was there? Like? Who wasn't that upper deck when I got there, when you were on the stairs and I gave you a box of olives?
Oh right? And I came down from It was kind of designated as the karaoke area, but it was more of a lounge situation. That was where a lot of my my skater pals. Oddly, a lot of the guys I skate with went on a river trip coincidentally with Brooks Wheelan and some of their comedy friends. That's the kind of odd connections I'm talking about.
But my buddies that skate all were for like three weeks.
They got one of those lottery things for the Columbia River, I believe, or the Colorado River.
It's a sea river, okay, but it's.
Weeks on the river something I don't think I am. You know, I just got my first pocket knife. I'm not ready. But they were on a river trip, so a lot of them weren't there, but friends associated with that group. We're up there with a bunch.
Of Nevis.
And they didn't reply to anything. I would like a surprise group of people that bearing gifts.
I have not received gifts.
The short answer is I can't think of anyone that didn't reply. And then they showed up.
Wasn't the question?
Or yeah, and I want to drop the.
Names, Well, but I don't. I'm talking about that deck that was in front of us, not the not the upper that.
Was okay, yeah, ah, that was just a gauntlet of people and I as I walked through, they'd.
Pat my back, So freeze for a moment, uh, look around in your mind's eye and the memory of that, yes, and just start naming names, so I know it was up there. I didn't get to see anybody, okay, like you go, Henry Phillips was there or I don't know. Somebody was like, oh, so and so is up there, and I was like, I don't want to go up there because then night I would then have to come back. Right, I'm just staying where I am.
I don't remember specifically who stood up on the decks. Okay, that's all a blur. I wish I did. The only concern I had was should fifty something people be standing on this day? But my buddy Justin, who's a builds houses and a carpenter, He's like, oh, I don't know. And then he saw how the deck's joists went into and attached with many many bolts into the house, and he's like, oh, yeah, you can park a car up there.
So I just kept repeating that in my head. But even while people were up.
There, they were saying things like can this hold us? And I just was like, yep, but there's no basis in.
That knowledge until Justin spoke.
Yes, that was, but that was at the beginning of the party. He did say, yes, it'll be fine. But still so many people on a deck high up. Need we remember the pool seen from It's a Wonderful.
Life, or any number of news stories that we write seen over the years of college party.
Yeah, it was a well built deck.
Yes, absolutely, well I think it proved itself.
Yeah, you know, Sooner made that deck.
She made it and she made it solid. She that was just party tested.
Yeah, it was. It's that first major test. Yeah, that was a lot of people. It was to be up there, and the beverages. I mean there was a lot of weight up there. That's where everything was being stored. I just know, realize, like gallons and gallons of beverages. Oh man, I'm back to being nervous about it. But nothing happens. So no, But why be nervous about the past.
Don't look back.
But it was all a success, that's right. I still have two thirds of my life to live, if not.
More and more if you get a gauze.
Yes, oh god, if we're talking gods, yeah, I'm a baby baby.
Yeah it's true. You better start making four years more plans.
Someone bite my neck, Someone bite my neck.
Remember when I was chanting that you want to live longer?
Did you chant that at your own party.
Yeah, yeah, I had some really weird outbursts.
Come to think of it, you.
Gotta be careful when you're baiting vampires, like, yeah.
I just want them to exist.
I know.
What's the drawback again of vampires?
You have to live in a drafty house.
Yeah, your friends die, you know, Oh yeah, you just kind of your interaction is usually very you know, you're using people all the time, kind of like everyone is just a means to an end to you.
Yes, a bad plan, you're right, But of course the drawback is everyone you meet, you're going to if you like them, you have to kill them so they keep hanging around, right and you also, even if if you don't like them, you're eating them just for blood sport literally, so it's just carnage for food. Yeah, it would be terrible, I think. So you could not. You would have to live your life like well, nothing can mean anything.
But then, just as a counter argument to that, you would be hot, because I do think vampires are kind of like but by the book, by.
The rule book hot, Yeah, they look like Brad Pitt. They look like Tom Cruise, who technically.
Is not hot but has made it work through scientilicgy.
I think you need to rewatch all the right moves because he's got him he does.
That's when his teeth were like crossed. They were like little cross legs in front.
Of his mouth. Yeah, back when he had summer teeth. Yeah, are pointing this way, summer pointing that.
I've said that before, but it's worth repeating, even on a podcast, as.
Long as you're enjoying yourself. It's your birthday party.
I mean what, there's a handful of listeners.
He'll be like that again.
You said that three years ago. Type type type furious letter. Yes, the readers digest.
Does that look like.
Whether man, Fritz Coleman, that's making that turn right there?
It right?
I just I just free spotted Fritz Coleman. That felt great.
And uh, working like off anytime I've done the Laugh Factory. He's one of the comics.
He used to have a one man show that he did at the Laugh Factory called It's Me.
Dad, No way, what did you watch it?
No?
You just know the name of it.
Uh.
I believe he was on Ellen when he was doing that, And so we talked a lot about it because it was like in his research package. Sure, so we we talked about it, but he was delightful, like a filling guest sometimes because they were the news team, the local news team that were on the lot with us.
Yeah, okay, yeah, I've always he's very nice. Yeah, he's one of those. It's the only other comedian slash news person I know him is Dave Letterman.
Yeah, at least Fritz.
Oh there's also Bill Weir who used to do those sports on the late Local news that I loved so much. I love her too.
That's a neighbor you love.
No, not about that.
She's the same smad.
She looked like she was gonna fight the car.
She's probably the one that put up the sign that says no dogs on the hillside. That where there's a sign that says no dogs on the hillside.
What Oh that ivy covered hillside down there on the.
Chat, Yeah, no doubt it's that scape. I can't imagine a dog being up there. But also yeah, also, why are you worried about the hillside?
Oh I send my dogs up to ship on that hillside. That's a tiny dog, yeah, and a crabby man walking.
Yeah.
He was pissed.
Yeah, they're all pissed up here. They're so mad, they're rich. It's crazy, but it's not that rich. No, no, it's not.
It's like, this is a pretty normal neighborhood. But everyone has the grumpiest look on their face.
Their dicks, what is they're private tactics?
Well, because I think I think if you live in la and you can own a house that counts as rich, you should shut your mouth and be excited about everything all the time. Yeah, but these people are like, it's a real problem apparently, or.
I it's weird that on because that road does wind and it is narrow and you have to be careful, but you are always driving careful, you know that road. And they look at you like you're in a hot rod. Yeah, and we're in the back drinking bood. They like we're kids partying.
I know, not, who cares. Wait a second, did we just record for two hours?
Oh no, that was.
A solid in like almost twenty minutes.
Oh oh that's great. Same, that's because we felt old school.
Well this has been Chris's post birthday party post mortem review.
Yeah that episode mortem.
I'm you're dead. Oh no, you didn't even make it happen.
That's why you kept bringing up this mummy business. Yeah, that was my last birthday. Yeah, sorry, well time to go back in the dirt now.
Karen's acting it out.
Bandages, bandages, Uh.
Yeah, thank you, thank you for coming at a lot.
You're welcome. It's happy to be there.
And here's the fifty more you've been listening to. Do you need a ride? Dyn r Oh we did it.
Yeah, it was a real one.
That was a real hunk. This has been an exactly right production.
Our senior producer is Annalise Nelson.
Mixed by Edson Choy.
Our talent booker is Patrick Cotner.
Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett.
Artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's d ynar Podcast.
For more information, go to exactly Rightmedia dot com.
Thank you, Oh, you're welcome.
