Concealed with Art SimonePlease make the sparkly Sue welcome! She's from Melbourne, loves her two kitty cats, Art and crafts, and considers herself a bit of a Martha Stewart (gotta keep an eye on that tax evasion). BUT Art already knows Sue, in fact they know each other very well.
Can you figure out who Sue is? Trust us, stick around for what she has to say, it's pretty juicy!
Check it out on the socials:
Instagram: instagram.com/concealedwithartsimone/
Tik Tok: tiktok.com/@concealedwithartsimone
Oh, I love a bit of a gossip and detective work.
I think they go so well together. Do you like it too? You don't have to answer that. I know you do. That's why you're here with me, Arts Simone.
I'm sitting down with pretty bland people, you know, and uncovering the thing that makes them more interesting or more exciting than your regular Joe. And it's really simple. I do a bit of detective work, have a little kiki, and then get the tea. Really, it's the mother of all podcasts. This is concealed with art, Simone. Oh, let's bring in our.
Guests raw time. Hi.
My name's Sue. I live in Werribee. My age well a lady never tells, but what I will say is I share the same birth date as Sir Elton John. I have two cats. I'm a self proclaimed Martha Stewart of Melbourne, lover of art and crafts and quite the reputation for sourcing anything and everything. But today I'm here to set the record straight.
Hello.
Oh my goodness, Hello Sue, how are you?
I'm very well? Thank you?
Art.
Oh no, this is very exciting because we are changing things up for our season finale.
Because I know exactly who you are.
I do, but I'm still going to play our fun game because I think our listeners are going to have a little fun trying to work out who exactly is sitting in front of me here today. All right, I'm excited. Okay, good, So you're covered in your drenched in sequence. You look like a disco ball. You've got a beautiful cropped bob there with the nice highlights and low lights. Very I want to speak to the manager. I like that, and a nice pair of spectacles as well.
Do you like to read?
I do read the house down boots, mamma. Yes, guide exactly. And that's what I call a yes and person just going with the flow.
But you said you like.
Arts and crafts and you're a self proclaimed Martha Stewart of Melbourne. What do you like to do with just you know, tax evasion?
Please keep that to yourself.
Oh my goodness, Now you'd need a job. But but now what do you get up to? What makes your Martha Stewart?
I love baking, I love home decorating. Yes, and my specialty from what my family considers is birthday parties, special occasions, celebrations.
Right, I go all out what's your favorite like the daycre the goodie bags, the favorite bag. Oh, okay, you're queen of the favor bag. Yes, well, I do know a lot of people that love a good bag, so I think we have a lot in comment. What I'm gonna do today is ask you three questions, and from the answer to those three questions, our wonderful listeners have to try and work out what you're concealing.
I'm ready, all right, and also who you are? I guess.
So the first question I have for you is which on screen hairdo would you like to try once in your life?
H Marge Simpson, of course, Marge Simpson.
What do you like about the Simpsons.
Blue hair?
You like the blue hair? Blue hair?
Marge Simpson? Yes, So do you like the Simpsons or you just like her hair? I just like her hair, all right, right, hair lover? Okay, okay. Question number two for you is which Kardashian are you most like? Oh, Chris Jennas mammager exactly, yes, right, okay, so you're most like Chris Jenna. But well, the matriarch of the family. Okay, she seems a mean She's done some wonderful things with Look. Look how she took off Kim's career.
Do you think she would film the sex tape?
I think so?
Oh, Gal, I don't want to be sued for defamation because Chris Jenner hobbing knock on that door in any second, be like she's probably she's like bloody Beetlejuice. You say her name three times and she'll appear. Let's not mention her again, okay. And our final question we have for you is if I were to give you a plane ticket to anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?
England? It would be nice to see the Motherland? Oh?
Do you have heritage in England?
An association?
Okay? All right, yes, yes, okay. Have you been to England? No? So that's why you want to go there.
It's on my bucket list.
Okay, all right, So let's recap blue Hair, Beetlejuice, and.
England.
Well, I mean, if I was a listener, I wouldn't know how to join those three things together. But I feel like there may be a little bit of a through line. You said Motherland, you said Mummager Christianna and Marge Simpsons may be the matriarch of a very famous family who are you.
I am Sue Art Simon's mum. So hello, Oh.
That was hard not to say mum a thousand times and also talk about things that I know that don't make any sense if I don't know them.
Ah oh, well, that's glad. That's out. Why are you here? Why have you shown up to my job here today?
I'm here today to tell the real story of how Art Simone became Art Simone.
Oh oh, so you're here for my origin story.
There'll be lots of surprises.
Surprise Mom's here, all right.
I want you all in your best behavior please, because I've never had her here at my workplace. I have no idea what she's come to present to all of you here today, but it Strappian.
I guess.
All right.
My mom has surprised me here live in the studio to reveal the origin story of Art Simone. Okay, which I don't know if I feel comfortable with that, but I want to say you are probably the second most mentioned person in Concealed with Art Simone besides Arts Simone. You have been a common theme throughout many of our interviews and stories. You are an off duty police officer, You're you're my merch manager. You're my house cleaner, You're my confidante, You're Mark Galpal, You're my driving instructor. You single handedly have helped to create the beast that is me, Art Simone. What are we doing today? What are you going to be revealing to the audience? Because I have no idea. I feel like you've prepared something.
Well, we're going to go on a journey from in the womb until today.
I don't know if I want to go into the womb with you again.
We are all right, I'm here to talk about Art Simone. How Art Simone became Art Simone from the very beginning.
All right with me? Let's h well, I knew.
Art was destined to be a star from the very first moments of her life. On my routine ultrasound scan. So I've been given the happy news that I'm having a boy. Then the stenographer she was having a giggle, and I thought, what on earth is she laughing at? She said, I'm so sorry, but this is so funny. Usually the babies have got a finger up peace sign or the rude finger. But your little one, look, his jaw is just going NonStop. He's a little jabber jaw.
Look at him. He's a chatterbox, but maybe I was hungry.
No, you were perfecting the art of lip syncing.
Ah okay, And I would like to know what song that was. What was your very first lip syncing song in the womb?
What were you listening to in nineteen ninety two.
Cindy Lauper?
Okay, girls just wanted you were still a decade late listening to her? Then John John again, answer, I think I was thinking to whatever you were doing, whatever you whatever gossip was coming out of your mouth. Miss all right, so I'm lip syncing in the womb. Yes, pop out.
Now we're going to go to age three, and there's the end of year kindergarten performance.
That's Christmas time normally, so that will weigh in a manger. No, Santa Claus is coming to town.
No, it wasn't Christmas scened. No, you were devastated you did not get the lead role. You were heartbroken.
Oh that's a big word to use for a free role. You were Oh God.
I had to then try and sell the role that you were given to you, which I thought, I will have my work cut out for me.
I think you're revealing to me for the first time that that wasn't the lead, because I have always sad it was the lead.
No, I can't remember. I must have sold to you that.
You were the lead. You told me I was the lead.
No oh no, oh, my goodness, I did do a good job.
Did go on tell them the name of this.
Character, Clarence the Clown.
I thought it was fish Fingers the clown.
No, and we had to provide your own costume. Now this is what sold it to you.
Your very first wig, yes, from the Melbourne Show, A nice purple, curly, curly clown wig.
Yes.
And how was my performance? Is Clarence the clown? Be honest?
You were a happy little vegamine which.
Was not the pause. That was probably the biggest role id because after that I was a river.
Yes I was.
I've got the dud rolls for my entire rest of my school life.
Yes I did.
Yes. Age three was also the year that I found your love, found out about your love of makeup. I'm talking five am in the morning. I would get up at.
I want everyone to know I'm still like that. I get up and I do a run, and then I do my yoga, and then my key gulls, and then I have a protein drink, and then I only eat egg whites, and then I go and save children from burning houses.
Continue Okay, yeah, yes, yes, I would wake up. And where's little Art?
Know?
Where to be?
Seen in their bedroom? Looked in the kitchen? No little Art there? Where is art?
Are you exposing yourself as a bad parent for losing your child.
In in the bathroom? I'm just ignoring that.
You're so used to be that you just don't even acknowledge it anyone, Sorry, Continue.
In the bathroom? Is little Art? Makeup case unzipped? We've got foundation, We've got muscaa, we've got lipstick everywhere. It's all over yourself and surprisingly not a hideous, horrendous mess either. Not too bad?
Are you saying? I was slaying, yes for a three year old, and I've just been at that standard ever since.
You've improved a lot.
Oh well, that's very kind of your mother. Oh thank you.
You may have seen Art's competitive side on screen, dummy spitter, I can tell you it started also at the age of three, I was summoned for a meeting with your kinder tea tea. I was puzzled as to why I was summoned because I knew that you were not naughty Ata I.
Would have been in a fight. Now, that wasn't me.
The kindo teacher, in all seriousness, was very concerned about you. Little art is too hard on themselves.
You can't be too hard on yourself.
Little art is too competitive.
Well, I wasn't pushing people over.
But you wanted to read the kinder story at the end of the session. You wanted to sit on the kindo teacher's chair and read the end of session story to the students.
Yeah, because I've got drive.
You imagine being around a little kindergarten kid who doesn't want to do that.
Oh no, hopers, no hopers.
Well, you were throwing a tantrum, having a meltdown because you couldn't read to that standard. You couldn't read a book.
I'm just angry at myself, not anyone else. That's fine.
Well, no, you were also competitive with another little boy there that could read a book from start to finish.
If he was cheating, he his memorized it, he could write his name. I disagreed with the kinder teacher.
Did you fight them?
I did?
He said, listen here I did. Kid's going to be hard on themselves.
I had to disagree that it is not a bad thing to be competitive and always strive for your next goal.
Oh God, you might have some parents not agreeing with you, But do they have a child who's an international drag superstar.
No, no, they don't.
Keep your opinions to yourself.
Art is a fabulous performer, as you all know, a great dancer. But it wasn't from her taking dance lessons, but rather from you observing them.
Yeah, because you wouldn't let me. You couldn't afford it. I couldn't dance.
I want to do jazz, I know for me now, I'm so so sorry. I would imagine if you had paid for it, I can still do it anyway. So I say, we say money.
Well you would have just got the jazz hands.
I can already do that.
Yes, yeah, no, because my sister was a dancer and I didn't get to do it because she did all the dance classes. So I would come in every Saturday and watch, and I'd help set up the bars to the ballet bars.
Yes, then I go and eat two pies.
There was never any complaints from yourself dragging you to the drop offs and pickups because you bribe me with pies, and the sewing sessions and the behind the scene.
The sewing was fun because the ladies were just bitch. It was hilarious. I love it.
We've spoken about this several times because I have apologized that I didn't get you dance lessons, and yes, you correct, it was not affordable. But you absorbed like a sponge, everything that you were seeing, everything that you were around. You stored it in your vault, didn't you.
I mean not really. I don't think I'm very dance, but I took it a lot. From the costumes, yes, the stage the costume yes, yes.
And also how to survive being in an RSL in the middle of winter with no heating. I survived. I got a lot of tips about that too.
The camera might love you now, but your first time on camera was when you were in primary school. Gramps came to visit with his video camera, right, and you were very much into little skits at our entry grate. You might remember we had a flight of brickstairs.
That is very descriptive of you. Very proud.
Yes, brick stairs, yes, that's very important. The flight of brick stairs.
Cho.
Your little skit was you were going to pretend to slip on a banana skin, acting you had actually badly slipped on the banana peal. You had slipped and dived face first into the bricksteps.
Yeah, maybe I wanted a free nose job. Maybe it was forward thinking.
You're Harry Potters.
Fully ignore me, hilarious, Like, no, I'm trying to finish my story. This is the epitome of parents, Like we're like, mum mam, mam, mam, ma'am mam mam, mam, mam mam.
Yes, yes, your Harry Potter style glasses were smashed beyond repair. We didn't have a spare pair.
No, I didn't have a spare pair of glasses until I was an adult and I could buy them myself.
Those glasses expense Yeah, specksavers two for one.
No, oh my god, the luxury I found out when you can just have multiple pairs of glasses and pick what color you want to wear for the day. But also I couldn't do that because my eyesight kept getting worse and worse and worse and worse. Degenerative eyeballs I have, So what was the point in having two pairs of glasses? You just have to get another one in a few months. Anyway, back to you, I'm glad I got that out. I'm thinking about that a lot.
Are you feeling better now?
Yeah? I am actually good.
So your poor little Harry Potter style glasses, one arm was missing off them. It had to be sticky taped back on. The lenses were smashed. I don't even think you could see out of them. But you had to make do with those until we did order a new pair of glasses.
Or Oshkosh Bergosh glasses.
Yes, so there's actually a lot that took place at sixteen. Perhaps a pivotal moment was when I took you to see Rocky or why I didn't actually take here?
Stop lying to everyone.
You bought tickets and then said just go and I said, I don't want to go to this. That looks that's inappropriate. Why would I like that?
And then I liked it?
Yes, I knew you would like it. You're right, mother knows best.
But yeah, I did see it, and then I saw it again, and then I saw it again, and then I saw it again and I saw it over ten times.
What I was going to ask, how many times did you end up seeing Rocky Horror?
Ten and then also I broke in and sat in the foyer for one of the sessions.
You also made friends with fellow Rocky horror fans. Yes, you would wait backstage.
Yes, which I don't like to admit now because I'm very fortunate to have worked with some of these people in my career now and know some of these people think how embarrassing. And I was annoying one of those annoying rats at the stage door with a T shirt I handpainted and feather bowers, being.
Like, I'm a fighter, can E sign this? Yuck?
But they gave you the time of today and the people I always remember. That's why I always have time for people. Because I liked I want to pay it back. But when I saw I just fell in love with it because I mean, deep down, I really loved sequin and glitter and drag and all of that. And it was so nice to be in a space and to watch thousands of people watch these quote unquote freaks on stage, and to see thousands of people every single night celebrating them, was like, Wow, maybe there is a place to me. Maybe I can be who I actually am, Maybe I can be proud of who I am, and maybe I can put a lash on and have thousands of people cheer for me, and I mean it's usually twenty people at bingo.
But I think we're doing well. I think we're doing well.
Do you think it had in some way an effect on you to come out as being gay.
It definitely did, because it was like, oh, this is okay, this is okay, there's other people there like me.
It was the same year that you came out as being gay, because you never came out. At secondary school celebration day the very end day.
Yeah, well I went in drag yes, muck up day. Yes, Yes, I.
Went in a Frank Confurter style.
Everything was Frank Confurter.
Yes. Inspired because then I went to science camp later on, where I was dressed as Frank and Ferter. Yes, that's how I first learned how to sew because I was trying to replicate his costumes.
Speaking of that science camp, people may not know the path that you were going to go down with your career. You were very much maths, science, medically.
Fair not to have a confrontation with you live on air, but also I think a lot of that. I mean I was good at it and everything, but I was also doing it because it was like drilled into me that you know your grandfather, Yeah, got to be smart, You've got to do the smart subjects. You've got to be successful or everyone is looking on you.
It's up to you. You know.
I had a lot of pressure on my shoulders, so like there were many times throughout my teenage years and right from the beginning when I wanted to do a jazz class where I wish I could have steered off to do more creative and artistic things, but I couldn't. But then I guess when I got to Science Camp, I had a.
Yes because you did work experience at Cabrini Hospital in the lab, Yes, the pathology labor and who organized that? Yes, you know you grandfather. Yes, you wanted to do him proud. You didn't want to let him down, and he was the big male influence in your life.
I mean, you're a good dad.
Well I played the role of both. Yes, I still do. You were offered a spot at the Science Forum camp in Perth. On Science Camp, one of the big events was a end of week camp celebration parties.
I was going to say, what was it called?
And you were encouraged to dress up as a character, so of course Frank and Furter.
And because I've been playing it very low key, you know, with all the science nerds throughout the week. And then I went back to my little room and came back out in full drag, and everyone was like, oh, Margat.
Or your first pair of heels.
High heels.
I don't know which person, which random big footed lady in mural Bark donated those of the shops. Yes, but there was a site. They were too big for me and I've got size thirteen lady's shoes. They were like a fourteen.
I thought they were too small.
No, I don't know. They were too big and I glittered them myself.
They were meant to be. But my mind boggles. Can I ask you, how can someone so clumsy can be so elegant and poised walking in high heels without an accident.
I'll tell you what it is, because you're not afraid to fall anymore. I've fallen so many times in my life that there's no It's just about confidence. I'm like, worst case I'm going to fall. I've done that a million times. There's no mystery to it.
Now, returning home from your science forum camp, there was a big pivotal moment. Then I'm not going down the science path anymore. I don't want to do science anymore. I want to change all my subjects in year eleven to the arts.
But can I say, before I presented you with that speech, I'd been to my art teacher and shown her my photography and got her to write a letter of recommendation to you to say that I'm actually very good.
I also had I was summons to another meeting. Yeah, but they both assured me that whatever you were going to put your mind to you would be a great success. And they were so convincing that it was okay, let's follow you, dreams, follow you.
Real prefacing this like it was a massive It was a big deal to me. But I literally just dropped chemistry and did studio art instead.
Yes, while where in high school years you first discovered Draculas se of restaurant or a Dracula's cabaret feed of restaurant. Yes, so you fell in love with Draculas once again, setting yourself goals as soon as I turn eighteen, I'm going to work at Draculas. So you went for your interview, and you didn't think you'd gone down too well the interview, because you were so enthusiastic. Yeah, I think that was a bit of about Draculas. You'd come across as a Dracula's fan.
Fan, and now that I've been on the inside, you do not hire those people because they're like freaks.
But somehow, Yes.
They first started you weight service.
I was a food runner.
Didn't go down so well, did it?
Food running was fine?
What went badly was it because you had to work up from food running to be a drinks runner and do the drink trays. They're like, all right, it's time for you to learn how to hold drinks. They're like, yep, we'll just lead up your tray with drink with glasses to practice maneuvering through the venue. And I got like three steps out and I dropped the entire train and smashed them and I said, no more, I'm not doing that.
It was no surprise, It was not a shock. This is Clarence the clumsy clown. Well, yes, so then they found a perfect position for you in the gift shop.
So during this whole time, I've watched Rocky Horror, I've fallen in love with it. I've gone to Arcamp I'm like, I need a name, and I didn't. I wasn't calling myself a drag queen yet. So I was like, well, I like spooky things, I like draculas, I like Rocky Horror, I like spiders and vampires. I'm going to be Count Jacular. And I was so dedicated to creating this persona that I made a website. I like fully made a logo that used to go on all my photos and everything. And I really saw that through until I was like nineteen years old, and then I got into the real world and I realized how lame that was.
Well, it was all your friends were calling you count ejaculated them at the ENNGV in top Arts.
Instead of putting my beautiful name, in which.
You gifted to me as a child, I made them right Count Jackula on the plaque. And I just went back there to celebrate a thirty year anniversary of top Arts, and I had to say, I'm so sorry, Jesus.
Well, you put a lot more thought into your current name, Aunt Simone.
The name came about because I was at Traculas, but I was like, no, I will you want to do drag drag now? So I saw there was a local drag competition I wanted to enter, and that's where I was like, well, I need a drag name. Now. I can't be count Jackular, I can't be Anthrax, I can't be Scabitha.
And he didn't want the camp drag.
No, no, no, you want to be a cantname. And I actually tried.
I was like, maybe Scabitha could work because I thought it was you know, it's a bit camby, it's drag and I was a bit oookie spooky at the time, but I tried it out. RuPaul did her last ever live in person show. I bought tickets to go and see that first time in full drag out in like a queen venue. I'd never been to a queen venue before to watch RuPaul. And for the warm up of the show, the drag host at the time got some people up to walk a catwalk and do a fashion pray and see, you know, like who could win. And I went up there and she goes down to lunch, she's like, and what's your name? And I said Scabitha. And then later in the night she came up to me, she's like, don't use that name ever again and that's because her name was Tabitha.
And so she was like, oh Turlington, Tabitha Turlington.
Yes.
So after that I was like, well, that can't be my name. And then fast forward, I entered a drag competition. Art was not just art. You had a lecturer who said the work that you were doing this is not art.
That'll never be art.
No, it was told I'd never be art.
So me, being a sassy little bitch that I was, I called myself art. Yes, which is not the right way to start your career, but I'm stuck with it now anyway, and I quite like it.
Yes, it's fabulous fart.
It's very handy.
Do you remember, once you'd selected art, you ask for my help to select the name to go with the second name, so you have your new drag stage name, ready to perform art simone. You enter, at the age of eighteen, your first drag competition, and it was similar to RuPaul's drag Race that there was a different challenge every week.
Well, they'd make you do a new drag performance every week. You have to have a new look, a new song, and it was to a theme. And then as the competition whittled down and they eliminated people, they still needed to fill an entire night of shows, so they'd make you do multiple performances and then a group number, and then this and then that. Gosh, it's a great business structure. Just get twelve nobody's in to do your entertainment all night long.
Don't have to pay them anything.
Oh yeah, think of it that way. It drew in the crowd.
But the funny thing is what I I don't think people understand is I'd been doing drag on my own terms at Dracula's and on my own things for years at this stage, but I'd never really set foot into gay clubs. I was any drag, so they had no idea where I'd come from. It was quite fun, but you stuck with me through the whole competition, and I don't want to say it.
I wanted to my own horne. But what happened winn Winn winner.
So the drag competition was your first entry into the world of drag competing. You ended up on the world stage through Paul's Drag Race.
You've been along the whole journey. You've been there to help celebrate me. There's a million stories I could tell. There's like stories where I'm like, Maum, I need a new prop so I send you to sexy Land to go and buy a whip.
Oh my god.
Like every week I'd be like, Mum, I need this, and you'd go off to a two shop and search every single gift store in the state to try and find bras shopping.
We did bra shopping with me.
You have been my little helper for anything I've ever needed to succeed. You've been more than happy to be part of it. So also, thank you very much for that. I appreciate it very You're very welcome.
I am blessed beyond to be traveling this rainbow path that you're leading me along. I love every minute of it and I will continue to help you whatever you need. You know you can yell out.
Well, let's go to sexy Land. Oh we go?
Well that was mother dearest, Yes, Mother, Simone, Susie C Susan.
I hope you enjoy it all the scolding tea that she delivered to you here today.
But if you want to support my mother, come along to a show and borrow a tea shit because she works on commission given listening to an iHeart Australia Production Concealed with Art Simone and Utsimone's mum.
Listen to more of what you love on iHeart and check us out on the socials.
Ah, I am exhausted after finding all these interesting people and interrogating them, so you know what, I'm going to take a little break before I introduce you to more people. But if you're loving Concealed with Art Simone, why don't you go back and listen to all the episodes. They're really good.
Anyway, we'll see you next time.
