86% of us never have this conversation with our ageing parents. So we built you a way in. Free guide at https://putthekettleon.com.au — and a podcast episode to walk you through it. Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

In this episode:
The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Kerry Milligan model the five Put The Kettle On questions live — what makes a good day, what independence looks like, who can help with decisions, the life-matters stuff (will, advance care directive, power of attorney, enduring guardianship), and the story you'd want remembered. Then clinical psychologist Jo Lamble debriefs the conversation — where Sarah pushed too hard, where Kerry blanched, and how to keep it a kindness instead of an interrogation when you do it at home.

This Week's Hack: Start with the good. "Tell me what a good day looks like for you." Don't open with the will, the aged-care plan, or what they want at the funeral. Open with the bit they want to keep. The rest gets easier when they're already leaning in.

Listener Letter / Send-this-to: Send this to your siblings. Before any of you turn up at the kitchen table, agree which one of you is going to lead the conversation. Five voices around the table is an intervention. One voice with a cup of tea is a chat.

Hot Mess Moment: Kerry's idea of a good day — start in bed, swim, dance class, walk the dog, coffee with the girls, and then the "fancy man" for "a bit of horizontal tango." Sarah: "Probably too much information if you're doing this with a child." Kerry: noted.

Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.

Topics covered in this episode:
- Why 86% of us never have this conversation — and why 70 is a good time to start
- The five Put The Kettle On questions, walked through live
- What makes a good day — and what your parent would hate to lose
- Independence, driving, and the dings on the car that tell you it's time
- Showering, toileting, packaged dinners and who you'd let help
- Who could speak for you when you can't speak for yourself
- Wills, advance care directives, power of attorney, enduring guardianship — the bits everyone skips
- The "I don't feel old enough yet" block — why even the most organised among us put one thing off
- Forever-young baby boomers and the trouble with imagining yourself at 87
- Why one sibling, not all of them, should lead the chat
- Reading the room — when to push, when to put another kettle on
- A free guide so you can do this at home — https://putthekettleon.com.au

Mentioned in this episode:
Put The Kettle On — free guide at https://putthekettleon.com.au
Stay For Supper with Dr Kathryn Mannix — Tuesday 2 June, Sydney. Tickets at https://clubsandwich.community or search "Stay For Supper" on Humanitix.

Credits:
Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don't have to do it alone.

JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.
SEND US YOUR QUESTION: hello@clubsandwich.community

This episode was supported by Australian Unity Home Health and Care — proactive local care that helps your parents stay independent and living well at home. Visit https://australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich.

Sometimes you need a debrief. And sometimes you need a plan. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent — turns the system into a few clear next steps, and walks beside the conversations that are hardest to start. No forms. No pressure. Just plain words and a steadier next step. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Sarah Macdonald — Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader — Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur — Executive Producer
Audio + video edits by P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich — hear more from Sean at https://seanwayland.com