What do you do when your kids are still little and your parents are already old? The queen of common sense, Maggie Dent, is in the chair for the double squeeze.

Content note: this episode includes honest conversations about death and dying, children's grief, and caring for a parent with dementia. Be gentle with yourself while you listen. For support: National Dementia Helpline 1800 100 500 (24/7). Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 (kidshelpline.com.au). Griefline 1300 845 745 (griefline.org.au). Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.

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In this episode:
The Conversation: Beloved parenting author and educator Maggie Dent joins Sarah Macdonald for young kids and old parents at once — why this generation got the hardest version (later babies, smaller families, COVID's developmental hangover); what's really underneath a tantrum (theirs and yours, in the middle of Coles); burnt chop syndrome and why your 90 minutes goes in the diary first; giving little kids real agency in Grandpa's care; why children need the true words for death; and how to open the big conversations with teenagers — side by side, Milo in hand.

This Week's Hack: Put your 90 minutes in the diary first. Sit down with your co-parent and ask what each of you needs for an hour and a half a week — and diary it before the kids' activities. You can't pour from an empty cup, and stop taking the burnt chop.

Send this to: a friend raising young kids while caring for ageing parents, or any parent dreading the "where's Grandma?" conversation.

A moment that stays: Maggie's advice for a four-year-old whose grandpa has dementia — teach her to ask for what she needs: "Can I have two hugs? I think it's a two-hug day today."

Meet the regular Clubbers:
Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.
Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.
Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.
Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.
Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty.

About Maggie Dent: One of Australia's most trusted parenting authors and educators — the "queen of common sense". Podcaster, former teacher and counsellor, with years working in palliative care and more than 250 funerals behind her. Free resources, including book lists for talking with kids about death, dying and divorce, at maggiedent.com.

Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au

This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30.

Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.

Credits:
Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive Producer
Melissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber
Justin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)
Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com