Feeling guilty all the time? Guilty you are not doing enough for your parent. Guilty you are not present enough for your kids, your partner or your job. Guilty for wanting a break. Guilty for even thinking this is all too much.

In this episode, Sarah Macdonald is joined by clinical psychologist Jo Lamble to tackle one of the biggest emotional burdens of sandwich generation life: guilt. They unpack the difference between guilt and remorse, why women are especially vulnerable to it, how guilt can morph into resentment, and the unspoken thoughts carers often feel ashamed to admit.

This is an honest, practical conversation about how to stop punishing yourself and start responding with more self-compassion.

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In this episode:

The Conversation: Sarah Macdonald and Jo Lamble unpack why caregiving guilt feels so constant when you are caring for ageing parents, juggling work and family, and trying not to disappear yourself.

This Week’s Hack: Catch the guilt early and ask yourself: what would I say to a friend in this exact situation? Then say that to yourself.

Listener Letter: The unspoken question underneath this episode is brutally familiar - how do I know what I should feel guilty about versus what is just breaking me?

Hot Mess Moment: The guilt spiral that starts with one missed call or one hard thought and turns into feeling like a bad daughter, bad mother, bad partner and bad person.

Meet the regular Clubbers

Melissa Reader - CEO of Vera and expert on Australia’s ageing crisis.

Jo Lamble - Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.

Dr Ginni Mansberg - GP and women’s health advocate who tells it straight.

Dr Stephanie Ward - Geriatrician helping you understand when “old” becomes a crisis.

Kerry Milligan - Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation.

Topics Covered in this episode

- guilt vs remorse

- caregiving guilt and the sandwich generation

- guilt about work, family and not doing enough

- self-care guilt

- guilt about moving a parent into aged care

- the taboo thought that you wish it would all end

- women, motherhood and why guilt hits harder

- parents who use guilt trips

- resentment as guilt’s best friend

- CBT, self-talk and self-compassion

Club Sandwich is brought to you by Australian Unity. Visit AustralianUnity.com.au/ClubSandwich

Credits

Club Sandwich is brought to you by Vera.guide, helping families caring for ageing parents navigate this stage of life so you don’t have to do it alone.

Sarah Macdonald - Host + Executive Producer

Melissa Reader - Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + Clubber

Rachel Fountain - Executive Producer

Audio + video edits by Fountain Media Group

Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our awesome theme music Club Sandwich - hear more from Sean at seanwayland.com