Ever feel like staying up for hours perfecting a single email, or completely paralyzed by the fear of failing at a new project?

In this episode of But Are You Happy, host Ashani Dante pulls back the curtain on the sneaky reality of chronic perfectionism. We’re moving beyond the surface level to explore the inner turmoil and emotional load that comes with tying your entire self-worth to your performance. Joining the conversation is clinical psychologist Anita Shimmins from Inlight Psychology to unpack why we carry this deep underlying fear of failure and how it subtly infiltrates our work, our parenting, and our relationships.

Together, Ashani and Anita explore why perfectionism is actually a protective coping strategy built to shield us from shame. You will learn the distinct psychological archetypes of perfectionism, how chronic pressure can show up physically in the body, and why hitting a major life goal often brings a temporary wave of relief rather than true joy. More importantly, this episode breaks down actionable, evidence-based strategies from schema and exposure therapy, sharing how to actively test your fears by making small mistakes on purpose and how to start replacing unrelenting standards with a realistic, self-compassionate lens.

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CREDITS:

Guest: Anita Shimmins

Host: Tahli Blackman

Group Executive Producer: Naima Brown

Social Media Producer: Olivia Colman

Senior Video Producer: Marlena Cacciotti

Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land on which we have recorded this podcast.