Appojay Production.

Appojay Production.

Hey Tam gnaes here walking back to the Building Better Humans Project podcast. It is Friday. You know what that means on this show. It's a chance for me to go through my social media look at the things I've saved and particularly in the last week, and just share with you why I saved it or why that meant something to me. Now, some things I save are personal. They're built around van life. There's not much point sharing those. They're built around love and my relationship, and obviously there's not much point in my sharing those things because they're personal to me. But these other ones are things around that could be leadership, that could be some sort of personal development or inspiration piece where I'll read that quote and then it'll just dig a little bit deeper on what it means to me. So here's the thing. When I save quotes online, I do this anyway. I don't just read the quote and go oh, cool quote. I think to myself, well, what does that mean? What is it that's cool about that? Why do I want to save it? And that's generally then why I'll save it. So the one I found that I'm going to read for you today, I might do a couple today. But this first one, which only just saved like maybe yesterday, was an Instagram page called leaders only co and the post here which isn't really about leadership, it's more about you as an individual, but it says the amount of strength it takes to choose to be alone instead of poorly surrounded is extremely underrated. If you were strong enough to choose yourself, then I honor you. Now, on the surface, you might think that that's about a relationship. The amount of strength it takes to choose to be alone instead of poorly surrounded is extremely underrated. Now, of course we can be in shitty relationships, and people can stay in those relationships that can accept things that they don't really feel comfortable with and just go, well, this might be as good as it gets. And so choosing to be on your own is a pretty big deal. And I did that more or less for ten years. You know, there was a short relationship in the middle of that, but mostly for ten years I spent on my own and having to get really comfortable with myself. And it's interesting how many people tried to set me up to go on dates, etc. Because that's the norm. We feel like people have to be with someone because that's a societal norm. I never wanted to be in a relationship where I had to compromise, and I found in my past relationships I compromised a lot. But also I probably caused a lot of damage to because I don't feel in hindsight that I was ready for those relationships. Now they produce some amazing things. Obviously my four children, the relationships weren't all bad. Obviously you wouldn't have got into in the first place. But over the longevity, in the long term, you realize that you just weren't ready. So that ten years on my own was really about trying to develop myself understand myself. But let's take it out of the relationship context. Too often we fight to be inside groups, be it friendship groups, be it work related groups. We want to be accepted by the tribe, and to stand outside of that can be quite challenging because as a survival mechanism, if we go back to the caveman days, to be on your own, so to be alone literally put your survivability at risk because there were so many predators out there that we, as a single individual animal had trouble staving off. So being around others, particularly when you're unwell, and all those things. Being in that environment of community was really important. I'm not suggesting we don't want to be a part of community, a part of family, a part of a bigger picture, and having support networks. What I am suggesting from this quote is that don't find yourself surrounded by people that don't add value to you when you add value to them, and worse than that, people that make you feel worse for being around them, because when we do that, we're losing pieces of ourselves. Now, nobody's perfect in a relationship, in a work environment, in your friendship groups. We're humans. We're going to have ups and downs. I'm not saying cut people away as soon as something doesn't go your way or something doesn't feel right. If ninety nine percent of the time things are pretty good, then you can do that one percent or two percent or even a five percent where they're not. Because hey, you're not perfect either, I know I'm not. But on the whole, if you generally feel worse being around someone or a group of someone's, I feel that the onus is on you to change the group of someone's find other people to be around. If You're sitting around coffee tables with a group of friends, and all they do is winge and bitch about other people, about life, about their jobs, about the state of the economy, about if there's nothing fun in there, if there's nothing positive in there, if there's no inspiration being found in and around these people. I feel like I'd prefer to be on my own. And when I see people that make that choice, as this quote says, it takes a lot of strength, it takes a lot of courage, and we should honor that. And that's not to suggest we should save everybody off. I went through a phase, particularly the last ten years, where even the thought of a relationship was really challenging to me. The thought of someone trying to set me up on a date. I did not want it. I didn't want to go through all of that stuff. When when the right person comes across your path and sounds very cliche because I got told this for years, and I just thought it was a cliche, but it turns out to be true that when the right person crosses your path, all of a sudden, all of those barriers and walls melt away, and you start to be willing to adapt and change the person you are to be the person that they need. Again, you're not always going to nail it, but that's how you become. In work environments. If it's a real toxic, negative work environment, and I've coached and I've done keynotes in some of these environments, my advice is, if you can't change that work environment, then you can change the fact that you don't need to be in that work environment. Go and find somewhere else to work. So again, the quote was, the amount of strength it takes to choose to be alone instead of poorly surrounded is extremely underrated. If you're strong enough to choose yourself, then I honor you.

Hey Tam gnaes here walking back to the Building Better Humans Project podcast. It is Friday. You know what that means on this show. It's a chance for me to go through my social media look at the things I've saved and particularly in the last week, and just share with you why I saved it or why that meant something to me. Now, some things I save are personal. They're built around van life. There's not much point sharing those. They're built around love and my relationship, and obviously there's not much point in my sharing those things because they're personal to me. But these other ones are things around that could be leadership, that could be some sort of personal development or inspiration piece where I'll read that quote and then it'll just dig a little bit deeper on what it means to me. So here's the thing. When I save quotes online, I do this anyway. I don't just read the quote and go oh, cool quote. I think to myself, well, what does that mean? What is it that's cool about that? Why do I want to save it? And that's generally then why I'll save it. So the one I found that I'm going to read for you today, I might do a couple today. But this first one, which only just saved like maybe yesterday, was an Instagram page called leaders only co and the post here which isn't really about leadership, it's more about you as an individual, but it says the amount of strength it takes to choose to be alone instead of poorly surrounded is extremely underrated. If you were strong enough to choose yourself, then I honor you. Now, on the surface, you might think that that's about a relationship. The amount of strength it takes to choose to be alone instead of poorly surrounded is extremely underrated. Now, of course we can be in shitty relationships, and people can stay in those relationships that can accept things that they don't really feel comfortable with and just go, well, this might be as good as it gets. And so choosing to be on your own is a pretty big deal. And I did that more or less for ten years. You know, there was a short relationship in the middle of that, but mostly for ten years I spent on my own and having to get really comfortable with myself. And it's interesting how many people tried to set me up to go on dates, etc. Because that's the norm. We feel like people have to be with someone because that's a societal norm. I never wanted to be in a relationship where I had to compromise, and I found in my past relationships I compromised a lot. But also I probably caused a lot of damage to because I don't feel in hindsight that I was ready for those relationships. Now they produce some amazing things. Obviously my four children, the relationships weren't all bad. Obviously you wouldn't have got into in the first place. But over the longevity, in the long term, you realize that you just weren't ready. So that ten years on my own was really about trying to develop myself understand myself. But let's take it out of the relationship context. Too often we fight to be inside groups, be it friendship groups, be it work related groups. We want to be accepted by the tribe, and to stand outside of that can be quite challenging because as a survival mechanism, if we go back to the caveman days, to be on your own, so to be alone literally put your survivability at risk because there were so many predators out there that we, as a single individual animal had trouble staving off. So being around others, particularly when you're unwell, and all those things. Being in that environment of community was really important. I'm not suggesting we don't want to be a part of community, a part of family, a part of a bigger picture, and having support networks. What I am suggesting from this quote is that don't find yourself surrounded by people that don't add value to you when you add value to them, and worse than that, people that make you feel worse for being around them, because when we do that, we're losing pieces of ourselves. Now, nobody's perfect in a relationship, in a work environment, in your friendship groups. We're humans. We're going to have ups and downs. I'm not saying cut people away as soon as something doesn't go your way or something doesn't feel right. If ninety nine percent of the time things are pretty good, then you can do that one percent or two percent or even a five percent where they're not. Because hey, you're not perfect either, I know I'm not. But on the whole, if you generally feel worse being around someone or a group of someone's, I feel that the onus is on you to change the group of someone's find other people to be around. If You're sitting around coffee tables with a group of friends, and all they do is winge and bitch about other people, about life, about their jobs, about the state of the economy, about if there's nothing fun in there, if there's nothing positive in there, if there's no inspiration being found in and around these people. I feel like I'd prefer to be on my own. And when I see people that make that choice, as this quote says, it takes a lot of strength, it takes a lot of courage, and we should honor that. And that's not to suggest we should save everybody off. I went through a phase, particularly the last ten years, where even the thought of a relationship was really challenging to me. The thought of someone trying to set me up on a date. I did not want it. I didn't want to go through all of that stuff. When when the right person comes across your path and sounds very cliche because I got told this for years, and I just thought it was a cliche, but it turns out to be true that when the right person crosses your path, all of a sudden, all of those barriers and walls melt away, and you start to be willing to adapt and change the person you are to be the person that they need. Again, you're not always going to nail it, but that's how you become. In work environments. If it's a real toxic, negative work environment, and I've coached and I've done keynotes in some of these environments, my advice is, if you can't change that work environment, then you can change the fact that you don't need to be in that work environment. Go and find somewhere else to work. So again, the quote was, the amount of strength it takes to choose to be alone instead of poorly surrounded is extremely underrated. If you're strong enough to choose yourself, then I honor you.

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Building Better Humans podcast with your host Glenn Asa. For feedback. To stay up to date, or go back and find an old episode, head over to one ady dot net dot au Yeah, the Building Better Humors Project podcas this guy

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Building Better Humans podcast with your host Glenn Asa. For feedback. To stay up to date, or go back and find an old episode, head over to one ady dot net dot au Yeah, the Building Better Humors Project podcas this guy