Appodjay Production.

Appodjay Production.

Hey, team, welcome back to the building Better Humans Project podcast. This is Mayhem Mondays, and of course that means we've got Mayhem Milli Mayhem in the building.

Hey, team, welcome back to the building Better Humans Project podcast. This is Mayhem Mondays, and of course that means we've got Mayhem Milli Mayhem in the building.

Hello again.

Hello again.

I just want to give a shout out to every other that's been sending us questions and giving us feedback. The feedback's actually been really good.

I just want to give a shout out to every other that's been sending us questions and giving us feedback. The feedback's actually been really good.

Yeah, we have really good things come through, So very happy about that. Thank you guys.

Yeah, we have really good things come through, So very happy about that. Thank you guys.

I like what we're doing, but also I know we'll get better at it the more we do it together. And I've really enjoyed, as I've said in previous episodes, having Milli here and sharing a bit of our inside story. Before we kick into today's episode, which Milli will talk about. I just want to give a shout out to Luke in Melbourne from Bones Boxing, so I'm repping the Bones Boxing. Luke's one of the best trainers in Australia in my opinion. Whenever we're in Victoria, I've always been able to take fighters there, so I look forward to when we get to go down. He's got some really good girls there for us to spart. Yeah, that'll help us prep for the calm game. So shout out to Luke and Bones Boxing. If you're in Melbourne, Hey Luke, if you want a good boxing gym spin He's just a mate, go there, all right.

I like what we're doing, but also I know we'll get better at it the more we do it together. And I've really enjoyed, as I've said in previous episodes, having Milli here and sharing a bit of our inside story. Before we kick into today's episode, which Milli will talk about. I just want to give a shout out to Luke in Melbourne from Bones Boxing, so I'm repping the Bones Boxing. Luke's one of the best trainers in Australia in my opinion. Whenever we're in Victoria, I've always been able to take fighters there, so I look forward to when we get to go down. He's got some really good girls there for us to spart. Yeah, that'll help us prep for the calm game. So shout out to Luke and Bones Boxing. If you're in Melbourne, Hey Luke, if you want a good boxing gym spin He's just a mate, go there, all right.

So today I thought that we would do the questions that related around our relationship. I'll stop by saying I got feedback on our last the one before last podcast where there was that question about the age gap and abuse of power, and Linda saw my mother just thought that we came across a little bit defensive. So we took that. We took that as feedback. Thank you, Linda, And we.

So today I thought that we would do the questions that related around our relationship. I'll stop by saying I got feedback on our last the one before last podcast where there was that question about the age gap and abuse of power, and Linda saw my mother just thought that we came across a little bit defensive. So we took that. We took that as feedback. Thank you, Linda, And we.

Don't mind feedback, to be honest, and I'd like to say I didn't intend to be defensive. We're open to you sending us positive messages, negative messages, and everything in between. Obviously, if they're too left of center, we wouldn't share them if we don't have a positive thing to say about them. But I don't mind that question. I understand the age gap in particular, for whatever reason, challenges people. Yeah, I don't know why, because you're not in the relationships, so I shouldn't worry you. But I understand.

Don't mind feedback, to be honest, and I'd like to say I didn't intend to be defensive. We're open to you sending us positive messages, negative messages, and everything in between. Obviously, if they're too left of center, we wouldn't share them if we don't have a positive thing to say about them. But I don't mind that question. I understand the age gap in particular, for whatever reason, challenges people. Yeah, I don't know why, because you're not in the relationships, so I shouldn't worry you. But I understand.

I was more sort of put off, I guess, by the abuse of power bit, just because it's accusing you of something and it's assuming something of me. So yeah, so that's what I was annoyed with. Other than that, I don't really mind. You know that people are challenged by the age gap. It's fair enough, I guess.

I was more sort of put off, I guess, by the abuse of power bit, just because it's accusing you of something and it's assuming something of me. So yeah, so that's what I was annoyed with. Other than that, I don't really mind. You know that people are challenged by the age gap. It's fair enough, I guess.

So I haven't had some feedback with the last episode, which was there was a question, you know, calling me a grandpa and all that sort of stuff, and people were surprised that the way I reacted, But I legitimately don't care. Like I mentioned this to mearly this morning, actually that I've never worried about aging. I think it's a privilege. Certainly coming from a military background. There are people in my world that haven't made it to fifty, so I think turning fifties of privilege. If you go to the war cemetery in Bamana in PNG, which is the biggest Australian war cemetery in the world and the largest war cemetery in the Southern Hemisphere, there are kids in there eighteen nineteen to twenty. So I will never complain about my age because I've lived in that world and there was every opportunity that I might not have made it to this age. So I'm very thankful to be this age.

So I haven't had some feedback with the last episode, which was there was a question, you know, calling me a grandpa and all that sort of stuff, and people were surprised that the way I reacted, But I legitimately don't care. Like I mentioned this to mearly this morning, actually that I've never worried about aging. I think it's a privilege. Certainly coming from a military background. There are people in my world that haven't made it to fifty, so I think turning fifties of privilege. If you go to the war cemetery in Bamana in PNG, which is the biggest Australian war cemetery in the world and the largest war cemetery in the Southern Hemisphere, there are kids in there eighteen nineteen to twenty. So I will never complain about my age because I've lived in that world and there was every opportunity that I might not have made it to this age. So I'm very thankful to be this age.

Love it relationship, and I might start off with some feedback. There's a couple in here that that, you know, we decided to share. There were a few other ones that were feedback, but they're not necessarily I guess I don't know what the word is, like, no, no, they are, but it's just like a little bit. Why am I so stuck on words today?

Love it relationship, and I might start off with some feedback. There's a couple in here that that, you know, we decided to share. There were a few other ones that were feedback, but they're not necessarily I guess I don't know what the word is, like, no, no, they are, but it's just like a little bit. Why am I so stuck on words today?

I think these ones that are about your looks, so yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's fair like as a particularly as a woman, because I don't get that feedback. But as a woman, I can understand that.

I think these ones that are about your looks, so yeah, yeah, yeah, And that's fair like as a particularly as a woman, because I don't get that feedback. But as a woman, I can understand that.

Someone said the other week, you're attractive, and that was on your things. It might have been you might have been for you, I know he is.

Someone said the other week, you're attractive, and that was on your things. It might have been you might have been for you, I know he is.

Guys, anymore of those, No, But I watched a thing with Halle Berry recently. You would have seen this video where she said that I've lived to get to an age where people stopped just complimenting me on my looks. Yeah, because there's so much more depth to me than my looks. I love that, and I thought that's pretty cool because you know, particularly in Hollywood, she's now in her fifties and saying that, I mean, she's still an attractive woman in her fifties, but she's now at an age where she feels like people are justifying her body of work as opposed to her body. Yeah, and that's pretty cool. Having said that, as an athlete, your body of work is your body as well, So I guess there's that. But for her, she's done directing and things behind the camera, and all everyone wanted to talk about was their looks.

Guys, anymore of those, No, But I watched a thing with Halle Berry recently. You would have seen this video where she said that I've lived to get to an age where people stopped just complimenting me on my looks. Yeah, because there's so much more depth to me than my looks. I love that, and I thought that's pretty cool because you know, particularly in Hollywood, she's now in her fifties and saying that, I mean, she's still an attractive woman in her fifties, but she's now at an age where she feels like people are justifying her body of work as opposed to her body. Yeah, and that's pretty cool. Having said that, as an athlete, your body of work is your body as well, So I guess there's that. But for her, she's done directing and things behind the camera, and all everyone wanted to talk about was their looks.

Yeah. I definitely rather be complimented on the way that my body moves rather than the way that it looks, which is one of the reasons they didn't continue bodybuilding. I'm going to get so much had from bodybuilders. No shade, guys. You guys work very hard. It's actually a really hard thing to do. Really shout to you.

Yeah. I definitely rather be complimented on the way that my body moves rather than the way that it looks, which is one of the reasons they didn't continue bodybuilding. I'm going to get so much had from bodybuilders. No shade, guys. You guys work very hard. It's actually a really hard thing to do. Really shout to you.

As we're recording this, she's about to head into a profight, so we're in weake cut three or four days out from wakecit. Millie's a foodie. She's amazing cook but also loves to eat out. So really it's more of a respective bodybuilders that you have the capacity to do this for eight weeks.

As we're recording this, she's about to head into a profight, so we're in weake cut three or four days out from wakecit. Millie's a foodie. She's amazing cook but also loves to eat out. So really it's more of a respective bodybuilders that you have the capacity to do this for eight weeks.

Yeah, because more they have a long prep.

Yeah, because more they have a long prep.

And so the dedication to that craft is core.

And so the dedication to that craft is core.

Yeah, they're restricted for quite a long period of time, whereas we're pretty much only restricted for about a week if you do it right, unless you have to do a massive you know, you go into the next word division down or something like that, then you have to be in a deficit for a little bit longer than that. But that all depends on where you started. All right, let's delve into relationship feedback. So this one says we've never met in person, but honestly have never seen Glenn look so alive since being with you. How could anyone throw shade on that is beyond me? Wishing you pay the best X, thank you, love that, Thank you so much.

Yeah, they're restricted for quite a long period of time, whereas we're pretty much only restricted for about a week if you do it right, unless you have to do a massive you know, you go into the next word division down or something like that, then you have to be in a deficit for a little bit longer than that. But that all depends on where you started. All right, let's delve into relationship feedback. So this one says we've never met in person, but honestly have never seen Glenn look so alive since being with you. How could anyone throw shade on that is beyond me? Wishing you pay the best X, thank you, love that, Thank you so much.

That's something I think it's okay to be positive about other people doing positive things.

That's something I think it's okay to be positive about other people doing positive things.

Yeah, I know, yeah, we're not hurting anyone.

Yeah, I know, yeah, we're not hurting anyone.

I was listening to someone recently and I shared this. It was Tim Minchin. He's one of my favorite people, and he was giving advice to UNI students to graduates, and he said, spend your life being pro something, not anti something. Said. So often we want to be negative about things in life and look at justify our lives by what we don't like. He said, just be positive. I'd be pro stuff more.

I was listening to someone recently and I shared this. It was Tim Minchin. He's one of my favorite people, and he was giving advice to UNI students to graduates, and he said, spend your life being pro something, not anti something. Said. So often we want to be negative about things in life and look at justify our lives by what we don't like. He said, just be positive. I'd be pro stuff more.

Even people like bond over stuff that they mutually hate. Let's bond over stuff that we love. Why not that all right? I hope he treats you good because i'd do Oh I think I do? You do you do very much? Okay, I'll read it. I hope he treats you good because I do anything to be with someone like you, even just to take you on a date. So I was.

Even people like bond over stuff that they mutually hate. Let's bond over stuff that we love. Why not that all right? I hope he treats you good because i'd do Oh I think I do? You do you do very much? Okay, I'll read it. I hope he treats you good because I do anything to be with someone like you, even just to take you on a date. So I was.

Where we go on because we have to all three of us go?

Where we go on because we have to all three of us go?

Yeah, yeah, where were going? Steak? And not sponsored by movie? We will we would love.

Yeah, yeah, where were going? Steak? And not sponsored by movie? We will we would love.

That's interesting one for me, Like I love the feedback and saying I hope, I hope everyone treats everyone good, right, but also saying that you want to I love to date someone like you? What does that mean? Because really we can only know from the outside the shell of you or the bits of you that you shared. Obviously, I'm going to say you would want to date someone like you because I get to live with you twenty four to seven and it's a majority of the time. That's pretty good. We're all humans.

That's interesting one for me, Like I love the feedback and saying I hope, I hope everyone treats everyone good, right, but also saying that you want to I love to date someone like you? What does that mean? Because really we can only know from the outside the shell of you or the bits of you that you shared. Obviously, I'm going to say you would want to date someone like you because I get to live with you twenty four to seven and it's a majority of the time. That's pretty good. We're all humans.

But yeah, like he said it, like twenty four to seven, jeez, babe, twenty.

But yeah, like he said it, like twenty four to seven, jeez, babe, twenty.

Four hours in a day, and I feel like I've been dragged or twenty six of them.

Four hours in a day, and I feel like I've been dragged or twenty six of them.

I'm joking so mad never you are sleeping on the couch. All right, we'll move on to this one. What would you change about the other in a positive way? And I read this one and I was thinking, I honestly don't know if I'm going to let you.

I'm joking so mad never you are sleeping on the couch. All right, we'll move on to this one. What would you change about the other in a positive way? And I read this one and I was thinking, I honestly don't know if I'm going to let you.

Start, I would I know, I wish i'd preread these questions. I know we'd heard them before, but I hadn't really thought about it. But if I could change anything about you, I would love you to see yourself from my eyes, you know, because you're confident and all of that sort of stuff, but you've been through some pretty hectic stuff in your life. I will say, at the hands of men or at the behavior of men. And I think for some women, or probably any either side of genders, I guess we can start to see ourselves validated in a certain way only if we toe the line. And I wouldn't say that's necessarily you, but I just think that you're so much more than how you've been treated in the past, and I never want to contribute to that in any way, shape or form. And there are times where I definitely have without realizing it or without putting enough conscious thought into it, and then I hate myself for that because you're very quick to pull me up on stuff like that, which I love and hate. Yeah, I like it in the long term, but it's very uncomfortable in the short term. But if you don't hold that standard for yourself, obviously, then you'll continue to be treated a certain way. So I would love to see that. I'd love to see that. I would love to The only thing I wish that that I would change, and I've watched you change for the last twelve months, is your anger. You're such a passionate human that your anger could really spill into areas it probably shouldn't sometimes, and yet it works in other areas. And I've watched that change astronomically in the last twelve months, maybe, which is fair. And sometimes when we trigger each other, which we do, it can be a case of well why is that still happening? But then when we come and we go, well, actually, it's improved so much for both of us the things that we do that trigger the other. So yeah, I would just love for you to see yourself through my eyes, because I think more people see you through my eyes than you realize.

Start, I would I know, I wish i'd preread these questions. I know we'd heard them before, but I hadn't really thought about it. But if I could change anything about you, I would love you to see yourself from my eyes, you know, because you're confident and all of that sort of stuff, but you've been through some pretty hectic stuff in your life. I will say, at the hands of men or at the behavior of men. And I think for some women, or probably any either side of genders, I guess we can start to see ourselves validated in a certain way only if we toe the line. And I wouldn't say that's necessarily you, but I just think that you're so much more than how you've been treated in the past, and I never want to contribute to that in any way, shape or form. And there are times where I definitely have without realizing it or without putting enough conscious thought into it, and then I hate myself for that because you're very quick to pull me up on stuff like that, which I love and hate. Yeah, I like it in the long term, but it's very uncomfortable in the short term. But if you don't hold that standard for yourself, obviously, then you'll continue to be treated a certain way. So I would love to see that. I'd love to see that. I would love to The only thing I wish that that I would change, and I've watched you change for the last twelve months, is your anger. You're such a passionate human that your anger could really spill into areas it probably shouldn't sometimes, and yet it works in other areas. And I've watched that change astronomically in the last twelve months, maybe, which is fair. And sometimes when we trigger each other, which we do, it can be a case of well why is that still happening? But then when we come and we go, well, actually, it's improved so much for both of us the things that we do that trigger the other. So yeah, I would just love for you to see yourself through my eyes, because I think more people see you through my eyes than you realize.

Thanks. Maybe. I guess if there was one thing that I change about you, it would probably be you know that you that if, like you said before, when I do bring stuff up, you don't necessarily feel attacked or get defensive, which you don't is doing it's not.

Thanks. Maybe. I guess if there was one thing that I change about you, it would probably be you know that you that if, like you said before, when I do bring stuff up, you don't necessarily feel attacked or get defensive, which you don't is doing it's not.

It gets super difficult. It's not this happened this morning? O my god. To be fair, if I get defensive to the because I this is how I justify this, and it's not a true justification. But I think I'm doing all this stuff. Why is she attacking that thing?

It gets super difficult. It's not this happened this morning? O my god. To be fair, if I get defensive to the because I this is how I justify this, and it's not a true justification. But I think I'm doing all this stuff. Why is she attacking that thing?

But it's not attacking. So we need to change that language.

But it's not attacking. So we need to change that language.

First of all, pointing out highlighting. Oh good, But again I'm doing that for a shorter period of time than previous, and you're much calmer and bringing it up saying, hey, I don't feel safe telling you this stuff if you're going to get defensive all the time.

First of all, pointing out highlighting. Oh good, But again I'm doing that for a shorter period of time than previous, and you're much calmer and bringing it up saying, hey, I don't feel safe telling you this stuff if you're going to get defensive all the time.

Ye. So yeah, all right. This next one was mostly for me, but you could weigh in as well. So what are your non negotiables in men and have they changed over the years. Definitely in men.

Ye. So yeah, all right. This next one was mostly for me, but you could weigh in as well. So what are your non negotiables in men and have they changed over the years. Definitely in men.

Is that they're not to hit a million.

Is that they're not to hit a million.

It's a good one.

It's a good one.

You're allowed to. It's all good.

You're allowed to. It's all good.

My number one one would be that they take accountability when they do something or when they you know, I guess when I feel hurt by something that they did and you know they definitely did do it. I'd love to seek accountability. Even if you do get a little bit iffy at the start of that conversation, you always end up taking accountability and validating my feelings. So that would be probably number one. Number two is that they're you know, good to my boys. Yeah, and that they know that they're not going to come into my life and you know, mess anything up for them. I always cry, you stop crying. I'm hungry, guys. Yeah, there's Look, there's a whole list of things like you know, not doing the bare minimum and expecting me to be so happy by the bare minimum, you know, because I have accepted the bare minimum in the past, and that's a whole other podcast of bare minimum. Saying bare minimum would be, you know, saying I love you or words of affirmation for me is a bare minimum, So saying you look nice today or things like that. A bare minimum would be something like carrying in the heavy things. Even though I'm pretty strong myself. I just like to see a man take that role that's a bare minimum. So often you'll be like, you know, you'll have friends go to me, Oh, he carries all my stuff for me, and it's like cool, there's a bare minimum.

My number one one would be that they take accountability when they do something or when they you know, I guess when I feel hurt by something that they did and you know they definitely did do it. I'd love to seek accountability. Even if you do get a little bit iffy at the start of that conversation, you always end up taking accountability and validating my feelings. So that would be probably number one. Number two is that they're you know, good to my boys. Yeah, and that they know that they're not going to come into my life and you know, mess anything up for them. I always cry, you stop crying. I'm hungry, guys. Yeah, there's Look, there's a whole list of things like you know, not doing the bare minimum and expecting me to be so happy by the bare minimum, you know, because I have accepted the bare minimum in the past, and that's a whole other podcast of bare minimum. Saying bare minimum would be, you know, saying I love you or words of affirmation for me is a bare minimum, So saying you look nice today or things like that. A bare minimum would be something like carrying in the heavy things. Even though I'm pretty strong myself. I just like to see a man take that role that's a bare minimum. So often you'll be like, you know, you'll have friends go to me, Oh, he carries all my stuff for me, and it's like cool, there's a bare minimum.

The love language one, the saying I love you and saying you look good. That's definitely one that's challenged me or us over time because we're really busy. And that's a really crappy excuse, but we're really busy, and so sometimes we be on the move, we're organizing, we're doing things, and you'll come downstairs and we'll go and then I won't realize what you'll say later, like three or four days of Ralph come down the stairs and you've not said anything to me. Yeah, and I think, oh, I love you in those particularly pants for example, or she's got a pink version. I love them on her. But I don't say it all the time. And my brain used to be, well, I said it once back then, and they're the same shorts and you're the same person, and I love you.

The love language one, the saying I love you and saying you look good. That's definitely one that's challenged me or us over time because we're really busy. And that's a really crappy excuse, but we're really busy, and so sometimes we be on the move, we're organizing, we're doing things, and you'll come downstairs and we'll go and then I won't realize what you'll say later, like three or four days of Ralph come down the stairs and you've not said anything to me. Yeah, and I think, oh, I love you in those particularly pants for example, or she's got a pink version. I love them on her. But I don't say it all the time. And my brain used to be, well, I said it once back then, and they're the same shorts and you're the same person, and I love you.

And then my counter argument for that one time was, well, I told you I love you back then, so I should never say that again.

And then my counter argument for that one time was, well, I told you I love you back then, so I should never say that again.

Or which is fair. So my point is that that's then I have to change your behavior, and so you know. And then recently I was more active in saying I love you and more active in saying because I'm I probably don't use words of affirmation enough. And then this is a counter side to that. And then you said, well, you only love me now because im in weight cart, which is not true because you've made the association. It's not true. I said, no, I'm telling you I love you more.

Or which is fair. So my point is that that's then I have to change your behavior, and so you know. And then recently I was more active in saying I love you and more active in saying because I'm I probably don't use words of affirmation enough. And then this is a counter side to that. And then you said, well, you only love me now because im in weight cart, which is not true because you've made the association. It's not true. I said, no, I'm telling you I love you more.

Because you I think that was the card start brain talking. I know full well that that's silly.

Because you I think that was the card start brain talking. I know full well that that's silly.

My point to that is that this is a relationship, is a constant conversation, and you're never getting it one hundred percent right, and neither is the other person that's been willing able to meet each other. Yeah, halfway if need be, or seventy thirty or whatever that needs to be. But I'd like to expand on that question or maybe dig into what they said, which is what has changed like a twenty year old girl or a fifteen year old girl, twenty year old, twenty five year old, thirty year old, what sort of changes in what you expect of a man, Because I think, from my point of view, a fifteen year old is probably very happy for someone just to show them attention, just to tell them they're attractive, might treat them terribly. And we've all watched this happened. I've watched this happened with my ds, where they treat them terribly, but they say nice things and that that's enough. And then you get to an age where you go, oh, it's not enough of me anymore, Like you're just saying it. I need to feel it. You know, when you're you think about when you're sixteen or seventeen, if you're going out with the boy who's got a car and a license, that's a big deal. Yeah, because I know I, as a male who was sixteen riding around your pushbike is hard to pick up another sixteen year old girl because she's going out with someone in the.

My point to that is that this is a relationship, is a constant conversation, and you're never getting it one hundred percent right, and neither is the other person that's been willing able to meet each other. Yeah, halfway if need be, or seventy thirty or whatever that needs to be. But I'd like to expand on that question or maybe dig into what they said, which is what has changed like a twenty year old girl or a fifteen year old girl, twenty year old, twenty five year old, thirty year old, what sort of changes in what you expect of a man, Because I think, from my point of view, a fifteen year old is probably very happy for someone just to show them attention, just to tell them they're attractive, might treat them terribly. And we've all watched this happened. I've watched this happened with my ds, where they treat them terribly, but they say nice things and that that's enough. And then you get to an age where you go, oh, it's not enough of me anymore, Like you're just saying it. I need to feel it. You know, when you're you think about when you're sixteen or seventeen, if you're going out with the boy who's got a car and a license, that's a big deal. Yeah, because I know I, as a male who was sixteen riding around your pushbike is hard to pick up another sixteen year old girl because she's going out with someone in the.

Cap that's She's like, I'm not getting in the back of your push No, he gets on the front. Round it's like not that other cute but no.

Cap that's She's like, I'm not getting in the back of your push No, he gets on the front. Round it's like not that other cute but no.

But so yeah, what in a more tangible sense, what has changed.

But so yeah, what in a more tangible sense, what has changed.

Lots of things? So you know, at the start we spoke about how I've been through things at the hands of men, I guess, and my accountability piece in that is that I allowed things boundaries. I didn't set them. I just thought I was the cool girl. And you know, the kids call it a pick me girl these days. I guess I showed it. You've not heard it. It's like they they do and say anything to be picked. So yeah, so they'll act in a certain way, or they'll say certain things that they might not not necessarily feel, just to be liked and to be picked by the opposite sex. I guess, yes, does it pick me, pick me, pick me sort of thing. Yeah, So things that I would let go, I definitely wouldn't let go anymore. And back then it was simply because I wanted to be liked.

Lots of things? So you know, at the start we spoke about how I've been through things at the hands of men, I guess, and my accountability piece in that is that I allowed things boundaries. I didn't set them. I just thought I was the cool girl. And you know, the kids call it a pick me girl these days. I guess I showed it. You've not heard it. It's like they they do and say anything to be picked. So yeah, so they'll act in a certain way, or they'll say certain things that they might not not necessarily feel, just to be liked and to be picked by the opposite sex. I guess, yes, does it pick me, pick me, pick me sort of thing. Yeah, So things that I would let go, I definitely wouldn't let go anymore. And back then it was simply because I wanted to be liked.

And so yeah, do you think people then have to be more comfortable with the fact that you could end up on your own, as in, if I hold a really high standard and I've heard this fear in people before, what if I'm on my own? And I say, what if you're on your own? That's fine. I spent ten years on my own because I had a different standard all of a sudden until you came along. And so you've got to be really comfortable to be on your own. Yeah, before you can really contribute to someone else. Because we've definitely had some issues in our relationship around my stuff in relationships, and yet I spent ten years pretty much being on my own working on my stuff. So I'm a better person now than I was ten years ago. But then I probably wasn't still great in understanding relationships without going too deeply into that, because there's not about a pull part on this.

And so yeah, do you think people then have to be more comfortable with the fact that you could end up on your own, as in, if I hold a really high standard and I've heard this fear in people before, what if I'm on my own? And I say, what if you're on your own? That's fine. I spent ten years on my own because I had a different standard all of a sudden until you came along. And so you've got to be really comfortable to be on your own. Yeah, before you can really contribute to someone else. Because we've definitely had some issues in our relationship around my stuff in relationships, and yet I spent ten years pretty much being on my own working on my stuff. So I'm a better person now than I was ten years ago. But then I probably wasn't still great in understanding relationships without going too deeply into that, because there's not about a pull part on this.

So yeah, good, there's honestly, we could go on all day about the non negotiables in men, but yeah, accountability. You've got to be good to my boys. Yeah, and you've got to not do the bare minimum and then and again the bare minimum. There's a whole other podcast as well, take feedback and yeah, absolutely, but yeah, like you know, so my friends will be like, oh, you held my hand as I crossed the river. Bare minimum. You know. That's not that's not like, oh my god, he's such a good guy. That's just the bare minimum.

So yeah, good, there's honestly, we could go on all day about the non negotiables in men, but yeah, accountability. You've got to be good to my boys. Yeah, and you've got to not do the bare minimum and then and again the bare minimum. There's a whole other podcast as well, take feedback and yeah, absolutely, but yeah, like you know, so my friends will be like, oh, you held my hand as I crossed the river. Bare minimum. You know. That's not that's not like, oh my god, he's such a good guy. That's just the bare minimum.

It sounds like common sense when we're having this conversation. But also I heard this same years ago that common sense isn't common as it not everyone does it. And I remember us going out for a walk, run whatever. Once I can't I think a walk, and I jumped over this water puddle and I kept walking and then I turned back later and by then you had negotiate it, and I thought nothing of it. But then a little bit later on you said you made no effort to help me across that way.

It sounds like common sense when we're having this conversation. But also I heard this same years ago that common sense isn't common as it not everyone does it. And I remember us going out for a walk, run whatever. Once I can't I think a walk, and I jumped over this water puddle and I kept walking and then I turned back later and by then you had negotiate it, and I thought nothing of it. But then a little bit later on you said you made no effort to help me across that way.

It looks I was okay, didn't even look back because I think.

It looks I was okay, didn't even look back because I think.

She's very capable. But again, you set a standard, yes, and once you set a standard, no matter how much you love someone, you should continue to set that standard, and it's their job to step up to that standard and not feel offended by it when they don't reach it.

She's very capable. But again, you set a standard, yes, and once you set a standard, no matter how much you love someone, you should continue to set that standard, and it's their job to step up to that standard and not feel offended by it when they don't reach it.

Obviously, being committed and faithful to the relationship is a non negotiable and a bare minimum. So yeah, lots of things, but we'll.

Obviously, being committed and faithful to the relationship is a non negotiable and a bare minimum. So yeah, lots of things, but we'll.

Move on is a big one for mil.

Move on is a big one for mil.

Yeah for sure. Yeah, for sure.

Yeah for sure. Yeah, for sure.

And I heard a thing recently that said honesty. And this is like two days ago. I read this and I hadn't shared this with you, but it said there's a difference between honesty and transparency, and I think you're like this. Honesty is I'll tell you the truth.

And I heard a thing recently that said honesty. And this is like two days ago. I read this and I hadn't shared this with you, but it said there's a difference between honesty and transparency, and I think you're like this. Honesty is I'll tell you the truth.

When I asked you. Transparency is just saying saying it without having to be asked, or I'm very transparent with you. Yeah, I like both transparency and honesty. Yeah, that's a good one, thank you. I am.

When I asked you. Transparency is just saying saying it without having to be asked, or I'm very transparent with you. Yeah, I like both transparency and honesty. Yeah, that's a good one, thank you. I am.

I need like that. So I thought i'd say.

I need like that. So I thought i'd say.

It all right, Do you believe in love at first sight? Unconditional love, true love and that kind of stuff, because God knows, I've tried to find it and zero luck. I'm at the men suck stage of.

It all right, Do you believe in love at first sight? Unconditional love, true love and that kind of stuff, because God knows, I've tried to find it and zero luck. I'm at the men suck stage of.

Life for me. I don't know about love at first sight. I don't know that, but I know if I could just talk to the first part of that question, because I'm not at the men suck stage a lot, but I understand when we first met. I'm not going to say love at first sight, but there was definitely an energy that was just like, oh, she left me. It was on my birthday. I think I've told this story on the podcast before. On my birthday, I was training a heap of athletes who are overseas merely wanted to do a session, just one session, to see if she was good or not because she had had some issues with an old trainer where they kept pulling her out of a fight, and so she just said to me, I just want to know if I'm shit or not and be honest with me. So I did a session with her. I said, I'll do a session, and then after the session, I said, well, you're not shit, but there's a lot of stuff you can work on, so just on the feedback. And then I didn't know if we're going to train again, but we're leaving. As we're leaving, it's kind of getting late, and you, I can't remember the exact conversation, but you said to me something about what were you doing today, and.

Life for me. I don't know about love at first sight. I don't know that, but I know if I could just talk to the first part of that question, because I'm not at the men suck stage a lot, but I understand when we first met. I'm not going to say love at first sight, but there was definitely an energy that was just like, oh, she left me. It was on my birthday. I think I've told this story on the podcast before. On my birthday, I was training a heap of athletes who are overseas merely wanted to do a session, just one session, to see if she was good or not because she had had some issues with an old trainer where they kept pulling her out of a fight, and so she just said to me, I just want to know if I'm shit or not and be honest with me. So I did a session with her. I said, I'll do a session, and then after the session, I said, well, you're not shit, but there's a lot of stuff you can work on, so just on the feedback. And then I didn't know if we're going to train again, but we're leaving. As we're leaving, it's kind of getting late, and you, I can't remember the exact conversation, but you said to me something about what were you doing today, and.

I just said, it gives your fiftieth birthday.

I just said, it gives your fiftieth birthday.

And I said my birth and then really said, well, what'd you do? And I said, I'm not really big on birthdays, and she doesn't know me.

And I said my birth and then really said, well, what'd you do? And I said, I'm not really big on birthdays, and she doesn't know me.

He said, it's just a day, which has always.

He said, it's just a day, which has always.

Been my belief, and she said, no, something along the lines of the world would be a different place or a worse place for people, certain people if you weren't here.

Been my belief, and she said, no, something along the lines of the world would be a different place or a worse place for people, certain people if you weren't here.

I said, there's so many people's lives would be just a little bit different if you weren't here. So that's something that you should definitely celebrate.

I said, there's so many people's lives would be just a little bit different if you weren't here. So that's something that you should definitely celebrate.

Now. I disagreed about the birthday think, but she left and I felt there's really positive angel. I thought that was a really interesting interaction and none of that was based off the physical You at that stage, or the box of you or the it was just something. I don't know what it was, So I don't know if you would call that love at first sight, this definitely was a connection. Yeah, so there's that. And then obviously after that, besides training, we spent a lot of time going to breakfast and having really deep conversations about stuff, and that was when that real connection started, I think in hindsight. But that's the first part of the question.

Now. I disagreed about the birthday think, but she left and I felt there's really positive angel. I thought that was a really interesting interaction and none of that was based off the physical You at that stage, or the box of you or the it was just something. I don't know what it was, So I don't know if you would call that love at first sight, this definitely was a connection. Yeah, so there's that. And then obviously after that, besides training, we spent a lot of time going to breakfast and having really deep conversations about stuff, and that was when that real connection started, I think in hindsight. But that's the first part of the question.

I'll let you deal with that, and then do you believe in unconditional love, true love and that kind of stuff? So that's the other part.

I'll let you deal with that, and then do you believe in unconditional love, true love and that kind of stuff? So that's the other part.

I don't really know what unconditional or true love is. I think we have unconditional love for children, blood, and to the point where, and this is a really changing thought that even if your children did the worst crime, you can hate that crime and you could be devastated what they did, but I feel like a part of you would still they're still your blood.

I don't really know what unconditional or true love is. I think we have unconditional love for children, blood, and to the point where, and this is a really changing thought that even if your children did the worst crime, you can hate that crime and you could be devastated what they did, but I feel like a part of you would still they're still your blood.

You still love them.

You still love them.

I don't know if they're a mass murder or something, but yeah, I don't know that. That's a really interesting one. Whereas I think love is conditional, it's like I love you, I really do, and I say that publicly, and I say that to you and you know that. But I've always said, like, if you cheated on me and I found out, obviously I would I think I would still love you and it would hurt incredibly, but I couldn't be with you.

I don't know if they're a mass murder or something, but yeah, I don't know that. That's a really interesting one. Whereas I think love is conditional, it's like I love you, I really do, and I say that publicly, and I say that to you and you know that. But I've always said, like, if you cheated on me and I found out, obviously I would I think I would still love you and it would hurt incredibly, but I couldn't be with you.

Yeah, maybe people say things like, you know, use the term unconditional love as in, no matter what you do, I'd stay, which is not true for most most people.

Yeah, maybe people say things like, you know, use the term unconditional love as in, no matter what you do, I'd stay, which is not true for most most people.

It shouldn't be true.

It shouldn't be true.

It shouldn't be true. Definitely shouldn't be true. So somebody steps out on your relationship with if somebody you know backstabs you or talks badly behind your back, and that's supposed to be a person or doesn't defend you, and which is another podcast wtogether, Yeah, you should feel the love back, and that person should love you and treat you the way that you would do for them.

It shouldn't be true. Definitely shouldn't be true. So somebody steps out on your relationship with if somebody you know backstabs you or talks badly behind your back, and that's supposed to be a person or doesn't defend you, and which is another podcast wtogether, Yeah, you should feel the love back, and that person should love you and treat you the way that you would do for them.

I can say with absolute confidence that nobody would speak badly about you to me and have me participating in them at any level. And I've always hated that since I was a young man and a single man in the army, that was a really big thing. Like mostly men when I joined the army by should be sitting around and like bagging out their wives. And I was a young teenage and I also think that's your wife. Yeah, why would you be talking crap about your wife? Yeah, but it's just to be cool with your mates over a beer or whatever. And I never quite understood that. For all the faults of my father, and you know, I have a strange relationship with my parents, I don't think I ever heard him do that. He did a lot of other things, but I'd never heard I don't really think I ever heard him openly disrespect my mother to other people. Yeah, things happened in the house. It shouldn't have happened, So maybe there was at least that standard. And I feel confident you would not do the same to me. But if you're not sure if your partner would stand up for you, that's a little bit hectic.

I can say with absolute confidence that nobody would speak badly about you to me and have me participating in them at any level. And I've always hated that since I was a young man and a single man in the army, that was a really big thing. Like mostly men when I joined the army by should be sitting around and like bagging out their wives. And I was a young teenage and I also think that's your wife. Yeah, why would you be talking crap about your wife? Yeah, but it's just to be cool with your mates over a beer or whatever. And I never quite understood that. For all the faults of my father, and you know, I have a strange relationship with my parents, I don't think I ever heard him do that. He did a lot of other things, but I'd never heard I don't really think I ever heard him openly disrespect my mother to other people. Yeah, things happened in the house. It shouldn't have happened, So maybe there was at least that standard. And I feel confident you would not do the same to me. But if you're not sure if your partner would stand up for you, that's a little bit hectic.

Yeah, so this girl said, or boy said, I'm at this men suck stage of life. So yeah, that's a hard place to be. But I guess keep you Yeah, yeah, for sure, but keep your standards and then your person will come.

Yeah, so this girl said, or boy said, I'm at this men suck stage of life. So yeah, that's a hard place to be. But I guess keep you Yeah, yeah, for sure, but keep your standards and then your person will come.

Yeah, and if they don't, they don't as well. Like to be honest, when I turned fifty, I said to myself, I will never have another relationship now because I'd spent a few years not having one, and I just thought, once i'd turned fifty, if I'm not in a relationship now, I'm not going to be in a relationship. I'm just going to focus on business and christian in particular, because the other kids are all grown up and able to do their anything or growing up. But I just thought, that's what I'm going to focus on. Yeah, So, and that was a decision in my mind because up until then nothing had happened. Like, I'm not an online dating guy, so I'm not going to be on apps. I'm not going through that awkward you know what, I'm like to go out socially anyway, let alone have an awkward first date with someone that I've just seen a picture of. It's just a hard note for me. And so I just decided that. And interestingly, that's when you come along. So you don't know, is my point. You don't know when someone might They may never. But the truth is my experience now is if you're not pushing it because people go, it'll happen when you're least expected.

Yeah, and if they don't, they don't as well. Like to be honest, when I turned fifty, I said to myself, I will never have another relationship now because I'd spent a few years not having one, and I just thought, once i'd turned fifty, if I'm not in a relationship now, I'm not going to be in a relationship. I'm just going to focus on business and christian in particular, because the other kids are all grown up and able to do their anything or growing up. But I just thought, that's what I'm going to focus on. Yeah, So, and that was a decision in my mind because up until then nothing had happened. Like, I'm not an online dating guy, so I'm not going to be on apps. I'm not going through that awkward you know what, I'm like to go out socially anyway, let alone have an awkward first date with someone that I've just seen a picture of. It's just a hard note for me. And so I just decided that. And interestingly, that's when you come along. So you don't know, is my point. You don't know when someone might They may never. But the truth is my experience now is if you're not pushing it because people go, it'll happen when you're least expected.

And I think, well, the garbage that it happened, Yeah, it did happen. I guess, focus on yourself first and foremost, and don't put so much energy into finding that person. You know that, and if that person comes, they'll come.

And I think, well, the garbage that it happened, Yeah, it did happen. I guess, focus on yourself first and foremost, and don't put so much energy into finding that person. You know that, and if that person comes, they'll come.

But also, you're going to be happy and healthy within yourself.

But also, you're going to be happy and healthy within yourself.

Yeah, exactly, So work on yourself I.

Yeah, exactly, So work on yourself I.

Want to drag all that into the relationship anyway.

Want to drag all that into the relationship anyway.

For sure.

For sure.

All right.

All right.

There were a number of questions that were around sex, but I picked one because some of them were a little bit like, mah, I want to talk. Yes, no, we're not good, but other people's sex, No, not at all. But this one was just a real general one, so I thought i'd put it out there, and I guess when we put our next NGL link, i'd like people to weigh in on this, that would be good. But this one is how many times do you think it's normal for couples to have sex in a week? And honestly, that's just such a personal preference, so that's a hard one to answer. Yeah, so.

There were a number of questions that were around sex, but I picked one because some of them were a little bit like, mah, I want to talk. Yes, no, we're not good, but other people's sex, No, not at all. But this one was just a real general one, so I thought i'd put it out there, and I guess when we put our next NGL link, i'd like people to weigh in on this, that would be good. But this one is how many times do you think it's normal for couples to have sex in a week? And honestly, that's just such a personal preference, so that's a hard one to answer. Yeah, so.

I would say that you've got to be aligned. Yeah, because if you're a once a week person and your partner's a once a week person, there's no problem there, yeah, Or if you're once a month person, no problem. But for some people they're definitely going to have a higher sex drive or a higher expectation around that, and that is one of their love languages. Then I think you need to have that discussion, yeah.

I would say that you've got to be aligned. Yeah, because if you're a once a week person and your partner's a once a week person, there's no problem there, yeah, Or if you're once a month person, no problem. But for some people they're definitely going to have a higher sex drive or a higher expectation around that, and that is one of their love languages. Then I think you need to have that discussion, yeah.

Because that could just cause conflict and ongoing shoes, you know, and one person could feel excuse me, undesired.

Because that could just cause conflict and ongoing shoes, you know, and one person could feel excuse me, undesired.

And yeah, and I can say we've had those conversations around because I get very focused on work. I work twenty four hours a day sometimes if I can, I'll just working time, exhausted, collaps, go to be and get up and go again. And Mily's not about that, Like she works hard, don't get me wrong, but she also absolutely insists on that personalized attention. And I'm not just talking sexy, I'm talking attention, so not just the bare minimum. Again for her is that you're just there coexisting with each other, Like, no, I'm not doing that because.

And yeah, and I can say we've had those conversations around because I get very focused on work. I work twenty four hours a day sometimes if I can, I'll just working time, exhausted, collaps, go to be and get up and go again. And Mily's not about that, Like she works hard, don't get me wrong, but she also absolutely insists on that personalized attention. And I'm not just talking sexy, I'm talking attention, so not just the bare minimum. Again for her is that you're just there coexisting with each other, Like, no, I'm not doing that because.

I don't need a room mate.

I don't need a room mate.

But yeah, she says she doesn't need a roommate. But one thing I will say is we always say we're best friends. Yeah, and we always joke about or you joke about it more about when we're laying But the other night you said this, it's like coming to sleep both with my best friend, and I like that we have that best friend energy because some people have their best friends and then their relationships, and I feel like you should be the best friend that I have. You should be the person that I tell everything. So I was actually just with a friend of ours, Simon Orton, who's a boxing coach at east Side Boxing, and he told me an interesting story which I really loved. Actually it's kind of tied in, not the sex question so much, but what I just talked about about best friends and your relationship. And he was talking about a young Irish boxer years ago that he'd worked with, and there was someone that Simon said, Oh, you're going to go over and see this guy who was a specialist in an area and this young girl was only twenty one and he said no, he said, and Simonson, why not? He said, because he cheats on his wife. Someone said what they got to do with you and the business of what you're doing? He said, well, think about this. Who's the person you spend you tell your darkest secrets to everything you tell everyone to And he said, your wife, and you're going home to her every night and then he's cheating on her. How can I trust him with my information. Yeah, I thought, oh wow, what a crazy perspective for a twenty one year old to have. Yeah, theah, that's the important of your We tell each other everything. Yeah, so if we then cheated on each other and had a distrust there, how can anyone else trust us?

But yeah, she says she doesn't need a roommate. But one thing I will say is we always say we're best friends. Yeah, and we always joke about or you joke about it more about when we're laying But the other night you said this, it's like coming to sleep both with my best friend, and I like that we have that best friend energy because some people have their best friends and then their relationships, and I feel like you should be the best friend that I have. You should be the person that I tell everything. So I was actually just with a friend of ours, Simon Orton, who's a boxing coach at east Side Boxing, and he told me an interesting story which I really loved. Actually it's kind of tied in, not the sex question so much, but what I just talked about about best friends and your relationship. And he was talking about a young Irish boxer years ago that he'd worked with, and there was someone that Simon said, Oh, you're going to go over and see this guy who was a specialist in an area and this young girl was only twenty one and he said no, he said, and Simonson, why not? He said, because he cheats on his wife. Someone said what they got to do with you and the business of what you're doing? He said, well, think about this. Who's the person you spend you tell your darkest secrets to everything you tell everyone to And he said, your wife, and you're going home to her every night and then he's cheating on her. How can I trust him with my information. Yeah, I thought, oh wow, what a crazy perspective for a twenty one year old to have. Yeah, theah, that's the important of your We tell each other everything. Yeah, so if we then cheated on each other and had a distrust there, how can anyone else trust us?

Yeah?

Yeah?

Because if you can't trust this I.

Because if you can't trust this I.

Saw this guy, like business guy on Instagram and he said, you know, I don't do business with anyone who cheats on their wife because if she can't trust him, I definitely can't trust him as a business partner.

Saw this guy, like business guy on Instagram and he said, you know, I don't do business with anyone who cheats on their wife because if she can't trust him, I definitely can't trust him as a business partner.

You've committed to that person.

You've committed to that person.

Yeah, So if you're going to step out, how you do any things? Hey, do everything? All right? How do you to handle conflict? You both have strong personalities. Surely that creates issues. Sometimes. We've delved a little bit on it in this podcast and this particular episode. Yeah, we talk it through. Like I said, sometimes in the beginning of the conflict, one or both of us may get defensive and we you know, might get a little bit angry or that's me. I definitely need space when that happens, just to calm down, just to think about it, just to get over it, and to actually properly think about it because my emotions do get too too much.

Yeah, So if you're going to step out, how you do any things? Hey, do everything? All right? How do you to handle conflict? You both have strong personalities. Surely that creates issues. Sometimes. We've delved a little bit on it in this podcast and this particular episode. Yeah, we talk it through. Like I said, sometimes in the beginning of the conflict, one or both of us may get defensive and we you know, might get a little bit angry or that's me. I definitely need space when that happens, just to calm down, just to think about it, just to get over it, and to actually properly think about it because my emotions do get too too much.

And so space and then I'm not good at giving her space. And early on there was a time where you didn't speak to me for we weren't living together, like twenty four hours and maybe four out out I don't know where there was a timeframe, and that was a killer for me, but familiar it was no big deal. It was like, hey, I just need that space, right And I remember saying to you, that's cool, but space to me means that you're running away, or you're leaving me, or you're you know, I catastrophize that situation because that's how I feel the experience. And so I said, all I need from you is to say, look, I love you, but you need to give me space. And I think we've been better at that. Or I don't question the love anymore like I did early in the relationship. I naturally question love because that's that's my triggers. So I would answer that, yes, we're strong personalities. Communication is always going to be the key.

And so space and then I'm not good at giving her space. And early on there was a time where you didn't speak to me for we weren't living together, like twenty four hours and maybe four out out I don't know where there was a timeframe, and that was a killer for me, but familiar it was no big deal. It was like, hey, I just need that space, right And I remember saying to you, that's cool, but space to me means that you're running away, or you're leaving me, or you're you know, I catastrophize that situation because that's how I feel the experience. And so I said, all I need from you is to say, look, I love you, but you need to give me space. And I think we've been better at that. Or I don't question the love anymore like I did early in the relationship. I naturally question love because that's that's my triggers. So I would answer that, yes, we're strong personalities. Communication is always going to be the key.

We definitely also both own our piece when we come back to each other, So that's really really important, is owning your piece.

We definitely also both own our piece when we come back to each other, So that's really really important, is owning your piece.

And whatever happened, I'm calm as well as in I'm not emotionally triggered because I don't ben coming. I don't really get angry, but I have these emotional triggers. Once I'm calm, I'm always happy to apologize. I starty to do it in the moment, but afterwards, I'm happy to say. Even a lot of men in particular do not like to apologize because that's a sign of weakness.

And whatever happened, I'm calm as well as in I'm not emotionally triggered because I don't ben coming. I don't really get angry, but I have these emotional triggers. Once I'm calm, I'm always happy to apologize. I starty to do it in the moment, but afterwards, I'm happy to say. Even a lot of men in particular do not like to apologize because that's a sign of weakness.

Yeah, it's pathetic, really sorry, but.

Yeah, it's pathetic, really sorry, but.

It's a sign of weakness to men. And so it's about understanding that I don't have to pretend to be strong in front of this woman because this is my woman and I'm her man so and we always refer to each other even as king and queen for each other. So if I've got to try and pretend to be strong in front of her at the risk of emotionally damaging her, how does that make sense? So you know, it takes maturity to get to that, and it's the forty year old me wouldn't have done that. The thirty year old me definitely wouldn't have done that, And so I'm at a different stage. So then let's refer back to the age gap. This age gap and my maturity now probably works because I have a different maturity that you need, and we have sides to each other that are different. So the sides to each other that are different is I have that maturity and that calmness. Most of the time I can apologize or I can do all those sort of stuff. And then from Millie's sides, she gives me accountability that not many people give me because most people, just due to my personality, tell me what I want to hear. And it was really challenging for me. I wanted it, but it was also challenging for me to have someone that just hit you between the eyes with stuff, and her answers always, well, I told her that's how I was Bob Coade stuff.

It's a sign of weakness to men. And so it's about understanding that I don't have to pretend to be strong in front of this woman because this is my woman and I'm her man so and we always refer to each other even as king and queen for each other. So if I've got to try and pretend to be strong in front of her at the risk of emotionally damaging her, how does that make sense? So you know, it takes maturity to get to that, and it's the forty year old me wouldn't have done that. The thirty year old me definitely wouldn't have done that, And so I'm at a different stage. So then let's refer back to the age gap. This age gap and my maturity now probably works because I have a different maturity that you need, and we have sides to each other that are different. So the sides to each other that are different is I have that maturity and that calmness. Most of the time I can apologize or I can do all those sort of stuff. And then from Millie's sides, she gives me accountability that not many people give me because most people, just due to my personality, tell me what I want to hear. And it was really challenging for me. I wanted it, but it was also challenging for me to have someone that just hit you between the eyes with stuff, and her answers always, well, I told her that's how I was Bob Coade stuff.

And that's not saying that I come across mean when I tell you, I just definitely tell you what this is, how I felt when it happened, very what I think that. Yeah, I like to be clear, So it's not that I want to be mean, it's just that I like to be clear.

And that's not saying that I come across mean when I tell you, I just definitely tell you what this is, how I felt when it happened, very what I think that. Yeah, I like to be clear, So it's not that I want to be mean, it's just that I like to be clear.

Then Millie's answer is is it offense? You know, like so that's offensive or is it offensive or are you just being offended? And that's a choice, right, So I think you have to trust each other's intention. I have to know that your intention is that you love me. I'm not leating because I would regularly say to her after too early, after an argument, do you love me? And she said, why do you ask me stupid questions? But it's because yes, I love you, but right now I just need that space, and so I understanding each other is really important.

Then Millie's answer is is it offense? You know, like so that's offensive or is it offensive or are you just being offended? And that's a choice, right, So I think you have to trust each other's intention. I have to know that your intention is that you love me. I'm not leating because I would regularly say to her after too early, after an argument, do you love me? And she said, why do you ask me stupid questions? But it's because yes, I love you, but right now I just need that space, and so I understanding each other is really important.

I really love that one about intentions because I did a hypnotherapy session just around my anger and how I can regulate that a little bit more. And one thing that always stuck with me that the lady said was there's always a good intention behind a bad emotion. So you've got to find that good intention and then you know, try and leave the bad.

I really love that one about intentions because I did a hypnotherapy session just around my anger and how I can regulate that a little bit more. And one thing that always stuck with me that the lady said was there's always a good intention behind a bad emotion. So you've got to find that good intention and then you know, try and leave the bad.

Yeah, why does that make your emotional?

Yeah, why does that make your emotional?

I don't know, because I hate being like mad, you know, at thanks, I just like to do you have to say that.

I don't know, because I hate being like mad, you know, at thanks, I just like to do you have to say that.

I don't want to cry well because because I want to recognize the emotion that's there. And this is you know, people talk about safe spaces for conversations, and we live out lives very publicly, and you're showing an emotion in a safe space, but we're doing it publicly. And I think we're very strong people, and I think it's okay for people out there watching to see that we go through these things.

I don't want to cry well because because I want to recognize the emotion that's there. And this is you know, people talk about safe spaces for conversations, and we live out lives very publicly, and you're showing an emotion in a safe space, but we're doing it publicly. And I think we're very strong people, and I think it's okay for people out there watching to see that we go through these things.

Yeah, I've definitely struggled with my temper. It's very like quick and sharp, and I guess I'm just like gotten to a point where I'm like had enough, you know what I mean? So I react a lot quicker, not anymore, but it did definitely get to a point where it was so much for me. There was a lot going on my life.

Yeah, I've definitely struggled with my temper. It's very like quick and sharp, and I guess I'm just like gotten to a point where I'm like had enough, you know what I mean? So I react a lot quicker, not anymore, but it did definitely get to a point where it was so much for me. There was a lot going on my life.

You would react quick and it would last for a long time. And both of those have changed, they have, Yeah, but also to recognize that emotion I remember early days and maybe not so much anymore. But after we'd settled, even if you were right in whatever the discussion argument was, you would say to me, you would then get upset and say, and I said, what's wrong because I thought we'd resolved it And used to say, you're going to leave me because of my anger? Yeah, And I'm not like because because I would have already left if that was the issue, because it was worse a year ago or eighteen months ago when we first met compared to what it is now. And then I guess I've felt the same at times. And all this is to tell you guys that we're not insecure people, but we all have insecurities, and so don't judge yourself or on your emotions. It's okay to feel emotions. And I was spent my whole childhood because my old man was a very tough ex military guy. I spent my whole military career where emotions were pushed down, seen or not heard. Man up all of that stuff that men get told. And then what you need to understand as a man that you just come across to the woman in your life if that's your relationship where you're insensitive, where you have no emotions but you don't care. And I used to think I care deeply. I just don't have the capacity to show it. And I've embraced that. I would have cried in front of million more than I've cried in front of any human in my life. And I used to feel weak when I did that, and you used to get annoyed at that. It's not weak, it's okay. But this is my safest space and I don't mind saying that, And so I'm your safe space.

You would react quick and it would last for a long time. And both of those have changed, they have, Yeah, but also to recognize that emotion I remember early days and maybe not so much anymore. But after we'd settled, even if you were right in whatever the discussion argument was, you would say to me, you would then get upset and say, and I said, what's wrong because I thought we'd resolved it And used to say, you're going to leave me because of my anger? Yeah, And I'm not like because because I would have already left if that was the issue, because it was worse a year ago or eighteen months ago when we first met compared to what it is now. And then I guess I've felt the same at times. And all this is to tell you guys that we're not insecure people, but we all have insecurities, and so don't judge yourself or on your emotions. It's okay to feel emotions. And I was spent my whole childhood because my old man was a very tough ex military guy. I spent my whole military career where emotions were pushed down, seen or not heard. Man up all of that stuff that men get told. And then what you need to understand as a man that you just come across to the woman in your life if that's your relationship where you're insensitive, where you have no emotions but you don't care. And I used to think I care deeply. I just don't have the capacity to show it. And I've embraced that. I would have cried in front of million more than I've cried in front of any human in my life. And I used to feel weak when I did that, and you used to get annoyed at that. It's not weak, it's okay. But this is my safest space and I don't mind saying that, And so I'm your safe space.

Always love you, all right, This one is for you, Okay, sorry. A few years ago, you said that you wanted to stay single forever. How did that change so quickly? What's special about Millie.

Always love you, all right, This one is for you, Okay, sorry. A few years ago, you said that you wanted to stay single forever. How did that change so quickly? What's special about Millie.

Such a deep pression? I don't I don't know that it changed so quickly, I guess, but maybe.

Such a deep pression? I don't I don't know that it changed so quickly, I guess, but maybe.

Because we've known. We knew each other for quite some time before anything happened. So it's not that I just came into your life and just changed you like that, or changed your views on relationships or whether or not you wanted to be with somebody or alone.

Because we've known. We knew each other for quite some time before anything happened. So it's not that I just came into your life and just changed you like that, or changed your views on relationships or whether or not you wanted to be with somebody or alone.

I've had people say to me, you're not the person I thought you were, because all of a sudden I was interested in and wanting to be in and defending my relationship, whereas before it was all taken leave, like not interested, just not interested. Right. So I had a guy years ago, he come and saw me at another gym I was working out, and he said, you know, my wife wants to introduce you to this woman, and I'm just not interested. I was really honest, I'm not interested. And he's describing her and she's this and that and she's attractive, and I said, none of that matters to me. I'm just telling I'm not interested because I knew it wasn't ready back then or interested. And then he did say to me that she's got an autistic sign and you've got an autistic son. And I said, they're not like Staffy's. We're not like both into Staffi's.