A listener, writes Gary. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years post college. He says he wants to be married, but he's not acting on it. How long do I wait?

A listener, writes Gary. My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years post college. He says he wants to be married, but he's not acting on it. How long do I wait?

Uh, the question I would ask is why is he waiting? Many times individuals are saying, I just want to be in a better financial position before I get married. Or is it that he is not ever going to make a commitment to you? Sometimes people are in long term relationships. They don't see it going to marriage, but they don't want to get out of the relationship because it's meaningful to them, but they don't ever intend to get married. If you sense in your heart that this is not moving to marriage, I would say it's time for you to express that and for you to back off the relationship. And as you back off, if he's really sincere, he may step up to the plate.

Uh, the question I would ask is why is he waiting? Many times individuals are saying, I just want to be in a better financial position before I get married. Or is it that he is not ever going to make a commitment to you? Sometimes people are in long term relationships. They don't see it going to marriage, but they don't want to get out of the relationship because it's meaningful to them, but they don't ever intend to get married. If you sense in your heart that this is not moving to marriage, I would say it's time for you to express that and for you to back off the relationship. And as you back off, if he's really sincere, he may step up to the plate.

Doctor Gary Chapman is the author of the Five Love Languages. For more answers, visit Start Marriage Right.com.

Doctor Gary Chapman is the author of the Five Love Languages. For more answers, visit Start Marriage Right.com.