CONTENT WARNING: This episode covers violence, death and sexual assault. In Australia, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for domestic, family and sexual violence support.  

What does it mean to be a good man and what happens when we stop teaching boys that masculinity has to fit inside a box? 

This week, Marie Claire Australia Editor Georgie McCourt is joined by writer, speaker and anti-violence campaigner Tarang Chawla for a deeply personal and wide-ranging conversation about grief, masculinity, violence against women, the manosphere and what it means to create change. 

Tarang is the founder of Not One More Nikki, an organisation named in memory of his sister Nikki, who was murdered by her husband in 2015 at just 23 years old. He opens up about Nikki’s life, the abuse and coercive control she experienced, the devastating impact of her death, and how grief ultimately became a catalyst for his work advocating for an Australia free from violence against women. 

He reflects on the conversations we need to have with boys and men about power, empathy and accountability, and why “not all men” distracts from the more important question: what can men do to be part of the solution? 

Tarang also explores the rise of the manosphere, and the online spaces drawing young men towards misogyny and unpacks the “Man Box” - the expectations that tell boys and men to be tough, dominant and unemotional.  

Plus, Tarang shares the heartfelt message he would give to Nikki if she were here today, a deeply personal reflection on love, loss and the sibling bond they shared. 

This is a conversation about grief, masculinity, accountability and what it takes to create meaningful change. 

This episode covers: 

• Tarang Chawla on the death of his sister Nikki 
• Nikki’s story and the reality of coercive control 
• Turning grief into advocacy and action 
• Violence against women and men’s responsibility 
• Why “not all men” is a useless response 
• What men can do to be part of the solution 
• The rise of the manosphere and why young boys are drawn to online misogyny 
• The “Man Box” and expectations of masculinity 
• Accountability, bystander intervention and male friendship 
• Why “why doesn’t she just leave?” misses the point 
• Pauline Hanson’s comments on domestic violence 
• Challenging misogyny without turning away from boys and men 
• Grief, memory and living with the loss of Nikki 
• What Tarang wants men to understand about violence 
• Creating a healthier, more expansive idea of masculinity 

If this conversation raises issues for you, support is available. 

In Australia, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 for 24/7 crisis support, 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 for domestic, family and sexual violence support.  

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Credits:   

Host Georgie McCourt   

Edited by Helen Smith 

Head of Vodcasting Rachel Fountain 

With thanks to our amazing team at Marie Claire  

You're Gonna Want to Hear This is a production of Marie Claire and Are Media.