This Is ImportantToday, this is what's important:
Chevy Chase, holiday films, baby content, the wood meme, names and words, search histories, & more.
Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically crucially important today on This Is Important.
Before like porno categories, did people say Latina.
It's just a little cuddle puddle and you can just dive in with a hard dick.
I'm not a pee guy. I'm not looking up pee video and here we go.
You know, I played that song for my son the other day. Fucking loved it really okay, just the hits for moving. He was doing that like a little kid dance where you just sort of hump shit hump ship.
That song came on.
I was doing like not press photos, but like photos for Monarch the other.
Day, Like what is the full name of Monarch Monarch Legend.
It's a Monarch Legacy of.
Monsters Legacy, Yes, legacy.
And we're doing photos for like billboards and like thumbnails and all that kind of stuff and that, and the guy is like, okay, so like I want to see you know, Bill Randa's journey in your eyes this season.
And then it's like and I'm like ko nay.
And if you're watching YouTube, you got that one. You knew what just happened and maybe you didn't, but it's it's just such a good vibe.
It's a good vibe. It's and I like that we've claimed it.
And do you guys know the chevy Chase video?
Yeah, oh yeah, okay, good good music.
The music video is all time is chevy Chase singing this song? When I was a kid, I thought it was a chevy Chase song.
He was Paul Simon exactly. I didn't know. I didn't know as a Paul Simon song.
I just saw the video you know that song him out, yeah, like very very young, and I was just like, oh, chevy Chase from the movies down, very talented singer, songwriter.
This guy does it all.
But you know that he is a talented musician. And he was in Steely Dan.
I think fake news. Chevy Chase was in Steely Dan. I've never heard that before.
Todd or Isaac, You're about to jump in here so hard, I've never heard that. I'm pretty sure chevy Chase was in Steely Dan and then he left.
He was the drummer before they formed Steely Dan.
Then he went to Lemming.
So chevy Chase was just up in the midst.
Dude, he was a player.
And that's why I think he's fallen off so hard. Is he kind of had everything.
Well and I think he's a dickhead. Yeah, I know. But what I'm gonna explain about his dickhead miss.
Is that I think a lot of really relate to a dickheads, and it really has to stand up for them.
Yeah, dick head to dickhead, it's like entering the mind of a serial killer, because this is somebody who.
I watched growing up and it was like automatically amazing and everything, and then there was a little bit like a fall off, and it was a social falloff that people just weren't driving with.
But I also understand like his humor is like.
Combative and like aggressive and like put downy, because I think he wants people to do the same thing to him so he can like that. I mean, even in the New SML movie, he was going like toe to toe with like Milton Burle until Milton pulled.
Out burrow his huge cock in front of Sidney Crawford his daughter.
Huge. Yes, he did, that's the that's cool.
I've only watched that part of the movie, and I watched that like that, and I do.
Want to circle back to that movie.
But I think that everything came pretty natural to him and it didn't to other people, and like he never developed the same kind of life, like human understanding because he's like.
What this is? You can't just play the drums? Like what are you a fucking like? What fuck? Or he was just a fucking asshole? Who I know?
But why why was he an asshole? People aren't just born assholes? Why was he an asshole?
Well?
Probably his father. Probably his father was a dick. I mean, maybe his dad was an asshole.
And yeah, that's what I'm gonna go with. Yeah, that's usually the case.
Like someone's dad is a total asshole and they're like, oh, that's how you are is.
But then people in his inner circle seem to really like him.
So what's the who who? Yeah, who's like fifty take the.
Lorde Michaels and like the Paul Simon's and like all these people in their asshole Paul asshole.
Maybe isn't he notoriously an asshole as well? I don't know. I didn't know that.
I thought Paul Simon was like the poster child for like the fucking nice guy. Yeah, the love movement of the sixties or whatever.
Hey, you could be fucking and still be an asshole. That's projecting that. Yeah, that's projecting. That's overcompensation. That's not what I'm talking about. Fucking Yes you are the love Yes you are, bitch. Yeah, what do you mean the love movement? I'm gonna come.
I think that's fucking I'm telling like the kindness and like the hippie what.
Do you think it's hugging? Hippies were fucking DERs.
You're not into sex, you're not into making love.
The only reason anyone was a hippie it wasn't because they didn't want to watch their firm pits. It was because I'm listen of the time they wanted too fun and they're like, okay, that's just the way it's. It's free love everyone. It's just a little cuddle puddle and you can just dive in with a hard dick.
Yes right, yes, that's why they did. It's trash and avoid the draft. Thank you.
And so Paul Simon the post a child of the horny movement of Sally.
What we're saying, cowards who don't go to war.
No one's hornier and that's why Garfunkle was like, I'm out.
Yeah, you're too horny, you're too horny. Yes, yeah, he's problematic.
I think so, like Garfunkel is a name he made up. Its actually they meant fucking. I'm about to go garfy.
He said, you know what, Fine, you fine go, I'm gonna be right here doing this.
Yeah.
Way, anyway, if there's if there's any song that's made for fucking, it's that.
It's that. Dude. You know how hard you can fuck to that? Yeah? It's so how hard you can fuck to this song?
Man?
This is something like American psyche go Patrick Bateman music.
Yes, well, you know, if if you put that song on full blast in the midst of h a fucking session, Yeah, and she doesn't leave.
It's a freak off your you marry her? Oh? Yes, she's the one, she's the best. Yeah.
If she doesn't leave, if she doesn't hit it, what does it say if she does leave?
Wait? What? Wait? I love that during sex? Or she doesn't just go? You know what? Alright, I'm out.
I gotta pack it up, brother, because that song, I mean, if we're being real, I'm a head out. Insane is an insane song to fuck.
To actually actually stop stop fucking.
Wait, Adam's like the bit, I'm not, I can't, I won't, I won't.
Let's get real about this. This is important.
This is because it is an insane song. I have sex too, sorry like fuck too to fuck do stop sucking me. I feel like if you put that song on, I would say ninety eight percent.
Of women would go, where's my clothes?
I'm leaving. This is insane.
I'm a head up out of here. I'm out of here now.
If one girl's like she's backing up into it to the beat of that song, You're like, let's get married.
You're you're cool man.
You just described every woman at uc beat who's like, okay, I get the bit.
Okay, So the bit is we're fucking to this goofy song. Hang on, is this thing on? Yeah? Welcome to Chevy Chaser. Welcome to Chase, Chevy Chase. Is this is this thing on? Huh?
Yeah, Adam, I'm glad we unpacked that. I'm glad we paused the bit because sometimes the bits goes a little too far.
It's a bit much, and this a bit much. Thank you for saying that. Yes, points here you go, point.
Real. Is there any documentary about Chevy Chase. He is an intriguing person. I feel like I don't know much outside of the hearstay.
Yeah, and that's the way to describe it as the hearsay. Here's all I know. I never worked with him. You did that was not pleasant?
I did? He was he was a dick. Yeah. I was in one scene, did you? Was it on Community? Yes?
I yeah, because when I was on Community, I never had a scene with him, And I was really bummed about it because I remember you saying telling you did an episode first, like the week prior, I think, and then I'm in the next week's episode and you told me what an asphoty was, and I'm like, I can't wait.
Oh, I can't wait to see it for myself.
Right, You wanted to see an onset meltdown?
Yeah, you know that's awesome to just be on set with a true legend and see a true meltdown.
Well, he wasn't meltdown. He was just like, you know, he's just really testy. He didn't like other people getting laughed. It was that.
And this is where I'm going with this, is that like, this is a guy who everyone thought was the funniest person. Now he's on a show with people who are very funny and he's not winning, and like the insecurity of being like, well wait now I have to like try harder to be funny. It's like, yes, that's the whole thing. You don't just you just.
Aren't just rest on your laurels.
Forever exactly and shout out to anybody named Laurel. You can't rest on those people.
Yes you can have him.
No, no, no, that wasn't even. That was not even.
But yeah, there's other like huge stars that I mean on Workaholics.
Ben Stiller, great guy, the best huge star.
Yeah, I would say you at the same at his peak. He was at the same level as Chevy at his peak.
Yeah, the laurels around him are not getting rested.
On, and he's not rested on the laurels.
And he came and he crushed on our show, and he wasn't worried about, you know, Blake getting bigger laughs, which which you know not gonna happen. Impossible. You crushed that episode.
I wouldn't worry about that either.
Was very funny. Thank you, It was very funny that episode. Thank you, eracist racist, that was eracist. Oh I thought erast I became.
The eracist because I'm Eskimo and everybody's that's really intensive. I'm like, oh, I did not mean to be that, So I become the eracist.
Erasist Our show is the best who wrote? What? Uh?
Yeah?
And I'm saying I I'm with you, Ben. Still our hero Chevy Chase, different different, different hero every year when that Christmas vacation comes on.
Man, yeah, unreal.
That's one that you're just like, you're really wrecking your brain to be like, how do you make a Christmas movie that could even hold the Does it.
Hold the flame? Candle?
Hold a candle, hold the candle, yeah, hold the blow tour, hold the candle.
Yeah, you're holding the candle. He's hold see um yeah. Yes.
The more the Christmases that go by, and maybe it's because I'm a dad now, I don't know, Blake, that movie becomes more and more my favorite Christmas movie so on so many levels. I mean, home alone, but hey, I know home alone. John Hughes not fucking around.
Do you guys, do you guys, because we're not quite there yet obviously, do you guys just put at Christmas time? Just put like five Christmas movies and just let them, let them fly all day long. Yes, yeah, that's great, that's a great way to live life. Yeah, I just watched Anora at ten am.
Well, that Christmas movie cools. You're sober, you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Not for long, not tomorrow? Uh jingle all the way fucking then bad Arnold, come own baby, Okay. I remember Chris Parnell has a little part in it. That's very good.
Yeah, but that movie is not that great though. It's not it's not at the same level of the other movies that.
We've just talked. I mean I personally, it's.
Like the whole thing was like they had to get an action figure Bowman turb Yeah, very relatable, Okay, And yeah, I mean it was, it was. But I'm just saying. And I liked the movie. I remember liking the movie, but it's not at the same classic level as those other films.
Well, I mean, sure, if you're I don't know. I personally, I think it's a little more watchable, a little more enjoyable then Home Alone, Jesus Christ. Home Alone is is really good. It's really alone is unreal? All right, Then, you bitch. Then you backtracked already. But but but Home Alone isn't as Christmas trick jingle all the way is very Christmas d You cannot take Christmas out of that movie and it will be the same. It is very dependent on Christmas. You can pull Christmas out of Home Alone and it's still fantastic. Is diehard Christmas exactly? Yeah?
Yeah, you could, you could could you you could pull you could also pull.
Out of You can't just kept getting a toy? No, no, no, no, you can't. He fights, He fights a bunch of a bunch of Santa clauses.
You haven't seen any You could fight a bunch of employees at a.
Just regular guys at a KB toy store, well, KB toy store, shout out, Yeah, a bunch of the they're all dressed up like those but British Knights or whatever, one of those like yeah with the big hats. Yeah that is right, yes, yes, yeah, the Guard, the British Guard.
Royal Guard, real guards. Yeah, let's live here. Well, don't say thank you if it's not a real thing. Come on, palsy, thank you, thank you.
Oh dude, uh my kid almost died.
The other day. Yeah, anyway, that's not good anyway, kb buckehnk disaster, my guy. It was wild.
Yeah, we uh fed him. I eat salmon five days a week. I thought you said sand, Well, he's eating a lot of sand. We do live at the beach. Yeah, that happened.
But he loves it, so it's fine sandwich. His ships bricks.
So literally we've given him salmon a half dozen times.
He loves it. He takes this delicious. He makes the.
Sounds h the yummy noise, very cute, classic yummy noise. I think we must have been like, it's good. And then now he's like like chill, chilled, so.
Stuff he stopped right now, back out of his mouth. You have to smart. It's not that good.
So we gave it to him. He took two bites. He goes, oh, his face turns red, it breaks out in hives. He's having an allergic reaction.
He's going like right, and then we had to give him Ben. It was terrifying, dude. I was like, but I have to be Chloe.
He's like Adam had him, and then I have to be like so cool and calm and collected, you know, chill.
I got this, dude.
I had to be, but inside I'm like, he's terrifying. Like one, you can't both be losing it because then.
It goes yeah.
So then I was like, no, it's totally fine, but was terrified. Dude, it was so fucking scary.
What's cool is you're cool and calm and collect but like not looking for a solution. You're like, all right, well, let's just I'm sure something's going on. Let's let's just see what's going on. She's like, benadrel, you go okay.
Yeah that she did run the ben and dr. I was like, let's give him some water, he'll be fine. Hey, Chill, I kept I kept telling Chloe, you're being crazy.
More salmon, chill. Oh yeah, Chill. They love it when you say that.
You have to be crazy right now you have to call him crazy. Oh that's so what, dude, we'll get into one. It just takes nine or ten months. It's fine.
We'll cook him and from a dude, chill so so so allergic reaction to the salmon or something you guys marinated in it?
Do we know it was just grow We I do it the same exact way this The recipe is not changing. So we don't really know. And then we went to an allergist today.
He's not allergic to salmon, she says, so was he choking?
We don't know, no, because it was like it it like there was like boils on his skin like it it was an allergic crasher. I showed her the video. She's like, that's an allergic reaction, and she's like.
Adam is filming, Like I think we should get the better hang up, this is.
The way because I wanted to show the doctor so uh he was fine, Like after like two minutes, he was like back to like chill.
Is this all part of like a branded Benadryl thing?
You're rolling out bits?
Dude, that'd be so sick. And if Benatroux wants to pay me, I'm a whore.
Now. If you guys have an alergic reaction, film it please.
I'll name my kid Ben Benader.
Did you guys ever have any like real scary shit happened when you when your kids were.
Real little Yeah, I think you forgot any. Sickness is scary when you don't know what the fuck is going on. But I think your initial reaction is to go straight to the emergency room. But usually what they'll tell you when you go there is just like this is normal all that stuff, but it's better safe than sorry.
Yeah, that's first kid shit. Yeah, because you're always at like the clinic.
You take your kid to an emergency. We haven't been yet, We've never been.
I used to. But then after doing that a couple of times, you realize that sometimes you do just kind of ride it out.
Wait, you went multiple times just over a sickness. It's just like a regular ere.
I did it when like when Mars was really little, she rolled off the bed. I was like, oh, she broke her head. Let's go to the emergency room. You mean like hit it hard. Yeah, Like I was, you know, fucking stupid. I was not in the room. Lift you leave the baby on the bed, it rolls off.
All that being said, she should have been sleeping on your side.
True, but you just get scared and you're like, let's go to the emergency room because I broke my child. Yeah.
Absolutely So, then if like, do you always like punk Mars, then are you like if she ever says something and you're like, well, it's because I dropped you on your head.
You fell, You fell on your stupid head. That's your brain talking if school's tough.
You're like, she doesn't know why I dropped on her, had broke brain.
Sorry about this is my fault. I remember Arnie like choked on a chip. That's scared.
You were like real casual meeting, meeting my cousin with him for the first time, and uh, he was like one and some so we're.
Like, oh, you can have a tortilla chip.
Takes one bite and instantly and we're being real casual and she's like.
This is fine, it's okay, Yeah, it's fine, it's fine, And.
He wasn't choking choking, but it was like in the airway, you know, it wasn't blocking it, but it was in there.
Dude. I'm glad I took those those classes because we took all every class just because Chloe and I we don't have family out here. We don't even really know our neighbors that well, and we're like all of our friends are really up at LA so we're just kind of alone down here in Orange County, and so we're like, we just have to know all.
Of our shit. Yeah, well, Isaac's closed.
He doesn't know shit, So like you said, he needs to know all the shit.
So that the choking, I thought it was like a like a little Heimlich of maneuver.
You cannot do that with babies. No, they're too small. You'll break them, dude, You'll break You have.
To turn them over and then literally beat the ship out of them. You have to hit them so hard. You have to smack like I was like on the little doll, like doing there, pat And they're like, no, you gotta really really get and they're like, well, what's worse breaking a rib or saving their life back?
Like damn, it's like that.
That's why if it's if you ever you know you're in a like you just they did something wrong, You break a rib. You take them to the doctor to get it fixed, and they go, how this.
Happening to go? He was choking?
And I think we all know breaking a rib is better than them dying, right, doctor? And they go, they give you a look and sometimes it's like I think I know what you did. But the other times it's like I know what you did and I get it. I'm with you, okay, and you take back. But that's crazy, that's crazy.
The chimmy jakes of our friends, Uh yeah, just it happened so fucking quick, dude.
It was like he ate two or three pieces of salmon, like little tiny, you know, baby size and little bites, and then he was like, oh yeah, and his face turns all bumpy and red.
It was terrifying. He didn't say it was a bit. No, dude, I.
Wish I wish you could tell me it was a bit. But he hasn't figured that word out yet, or any words.
He's from behind them. Come on, now, come, no, he'll get there. How old is he? Eleven months today? Eleven months today? Nice?
Almost there that one year milestone.
It's a big deal. It's a big one. Hey.
By the way, why did you guys to the birthday party? Neither of you responded, thank you, thank you guys.
It was right during the fires. I was I remember seeing it, but then I had to check the fire. The fires that you didn't have to evacuate for or for. That was close. I was close. I think we've covered that.
It was almost, if not more hectic for everyone not uninvolved. Not. Yeah, it was close, especially if you're on a different continent. I was on the brink as I was, so.
Yeah, just if you could look at that, give us a yes, no, maybe even was that an email or a text?
I think it was a tech.
It was a tech yeah, yeah, like chose to not respond to it, and I want to thank you.
No, I remember, but I would.
I would the app it's it's going to be a banger, dude, it's it's really we got we got a balloon arch uh Bo's first season. It's all basketball themed. Yeah, it's it's kind of a fucking banger.
Wait, I'm sorry.
The theme is for Bo's first season.
I think it's Bo's rookie year is what it is? What it actually is, Okay, Rookie of the Year. Baby, I love it.
You know, can't tell you something way better than Bo's first season.
I know, I know.
I was like, yeah, yeah, like it's cool to Bo's first seizure.
Dude, that's a that's a misspeak.
Yeah, I like that rookie year at that. That's clear. That's really good. Yeah. Who came up with that? They get points? I think that was my assistant, Michelle. She came up with that. One. Big shout out to Michelle. Yeah, there we go, point to assistant. Good job, nice to stist.
Well, funny, funny story with Michelle, her mom and her when she was like nineteen or twenty years old, This like guy from India or something texted her and said, hey, if I take photos of you for two hundred dollars, I want to take photos of you and your family.
She wants you telling this story. And so I don't know what she does not okay? And can I do that? And she was like she needed money. She's like, yeah, it's two hundred bucks. My mom's going to be there. It's all good.
So they come, they take like it they got I think only one of them got. I think only she got two hundred dollars and they took a bunch of photos.
Now there.
The other day a commercial came out for like pro choice or pro life commercial commercial and her mom and her are just in the commercial.
Hold up, what like sitting at a kitchen table? Right?
So they got paid to be part of like a stock photo shoot.
Yeah, and like yes, and Michelle's just on the like brochures to go to colleges she's never went to because this guy came to take photos of her when she was like nineteen or twenty years old or however, Wow, how insane is that? Could you imagine you like one of them here to do that, and then and then now all these years, they're.
Still using our photos to be like we're come to this. What if you were like you know that stock photo where it's the dude who's like holding his girlfriend's hand, but he's like looking over his shoulder at the other right, he's looking back like what if you were him? I want to get paid. Well, they've met.
Didn't they do that on like h Tosh or something? Those people all got together again?
Oh really the three of them? Yeah, no way, Tash. That was a great show. Yeah, and that that's cool when people start to like actually find the people who are like memes and all those things, because it is like, I.
Mean I think that's what Tosh kind of did the whole time, was like let's get the redemption.
Yeah, yeah, that's right, because I mean it's a great idea for him. I think that's kind of a that's a good one. But some of these it's.
A bad look, you know, like his like kind of funny and kind of good.
But some some you're like, I don't know if I would want to be that that meme necessary.
I'm still gonna did the who did the documentary on the dude sitting on the edge of the bed with a giant dick. Someone he had a documentary and it started out to be like who's this and then it's it becomes kind of like a heartbreaking story. Oh sure, yeah, okay, it's like the guy was like on hard times, no pun intended.
I was pretty soft and did those wait it was soft?
Oh yeah, it's just it's hanging there like a like an elephant trunk.
Yeah, sadly that was soft.
Yeah, big, But he took the photos for obviously like magazine, and then it like blew up and he's dead.
I think he killed himself.
Oh killo ycomedian did a it's some like was it?
Well, that's too bad because, uh, because I feel like he's pretty legendary.
I think about him every day. Yeah, yeah, I see im when to close my eyes, yes, And I don't know if i'm every day, but i'm closed or so I'm like right there with you. I think about that man often. Yeah, Like I think he could be.
Absolutely crushing crushing it right now. I know all that hot content. Dude, I mean, his only fans.
Would be.
And did you see, Yeah, he'd be i'd subscribe.
You have to you have to? Did you guys? I think I sent it to.
You guys a while ago, the like gift of the thunderstorm, I don't know, yes, And when the lightning goes the cloud outline is him with his dick.
Oh yeah yeah, and it's like, this is art. This is art.
We're peaking, this is it, and our producers are giving us a link.
Goodbye. So Vice Vice did a doc. No, but like a comedian did the story? Is it tok Am?
I gonna know it wasn't Tosh. It was some like fuck. I don't know those guys names, but like an indie style comedian type dude, what do they call them? Alternative comic?
WHOA?
His name was barry Wood? Barry Wood is I mean that was the street I grew up on, barry Wood, barry Wood. That's good. That can't be real. That can't be a real name. That's what they're saying. That's his porn on it. Well, yes, wow, look at him. I've never seen him in any other photo. This is just him. He looks so nice.
Yeah, I mean he looks like a cool gym teacher who's like, come here, dude, we.
See the mummer is with this is like he got obviously he was ashamed by what he did, and he then he ends his life. If you would have just waited a few a few years, stuck it out, then then he would have realized he's a legend and we would all appreciate him, and he'd have a late night shoe and he would Yeah, he would be on Kimmel probably once we wake up. Uh.
By the way, have you scrolled down on this.
It's it's got like little like talking points about the meme and like the history and it goes, why is the wood sitting on bed meme popular?
Like that's what it's called wood because the dude's hogging Gee, let me think because his dick is dude, not rocket staying.
Yeah, his real name is Wardy Jobert. The third it's science. Well, shout out to him.
And then I guess Sigura began to sell merchandise, uh the photo by selling clothing, and proceeds went to Jobert's family.
So was it Sigura who did it? Maybe I thought it was.
Yeah, maybe it was Sigura who got into it. I can't I can't remember this guy. The other comedian's name. I keep thinking it is, and that's that's not good for a podcast. You don't want to do all right, but but just give me a minute.
Who care of wish you would me? Wish she would?
No?
Good? Huh we could pivot. Just hang on? Okay, sure? How long should we hang? How long are we're waiting for it for you to think? Do you know you're going through the alphabet to think of h think of like a comedian that you can't remember, Dimitri Martin?
Cue, but what's bargate barg D two you w x y D Nope, I got nothing, Ladies.
And gentlemen behind the curtain on how Durs thinks. If Durs doesn't know something, he goes through the alphabet just to find.
If I don't know a name, I go through the alphabet. Mike'bigula, I thought he did. I thought he did, but something like that, but I guess it was uh girl.
It was girl? Yeah, okay, Yeah, we had to answer a while ago. But that was cool.
What an insane way you think, dude, I to go through the alphabet seems it's a beautiful mind.
Yeah, this is kind of a fun story.
But yeah, I'm very very very you guys know this. He's on fire today, very very very very bad.
With names, okay, okay, and just can't just can't, just can't. I can remember faces.
Literally saw a lady at the park the other day who when my kid a year ago, almost to the to the day, ran into like a low bridge at the playground and split his head open. This woman I'd never met, come over. She was like, oh, I was a doctor, Like, let me look at that. Yeah, you're gonna need to go to the doctor and get staples or whatever. And I was like, oh, thank you so much. Walked up to her a year later and I go, Hi, are you a doctor And she's like yes, I go, I just remembered you a year ago.
You helped me with my kid.
Anyway, faces, I can do names, I can do.
I can't do words. The worst. Yeah.
The story is that I needed like sleeping pills the other day because I'm off my fucking rocker coming back from Australia.
The load boost and the load boost I couldn't find it. Just keeping you up.
You got a lot to do, yeah, big swinging nuts ack uh huh.
Barry and Emma goes, hey, the sleeping pills are like in the They're in the bathroom cabinet and center shore and I go, okay, let me go in there. So I go in there and I'm looking through all like the benadryl, remember that from your story.
I'm a dude.
And then I see, like I see a box with like a close like a woman's clothes eye. I'm like, all right, well, that's gotta be like what some eyelashes stuff for Emma.
And then I'm like, I can't find and She's like, it's this box right here with the sleeping woman's face on it. This is the sleeping medicine. It says it right here.
And I'm like, didn't even read it, just looked at the picture of eyelashes and was like, that can't be it. I don't I don't use words in my life.
Yeah, And and to be a writer, that's that is weird, dude. It is incredible because you are. I do you consider you a smart friend? When we're talking about stories, you're really yeah.
You really are. Hang on, boys, get in And I do think that you are a smart person.
But then when you explain your day to day life and the fact that you wear a watch and can't till the time.
Yeah, it is. It's doubt everything. Yeah, our lives in your hand, Blake, they're not. You're a grown man. You your son. To your point, Adam, I have your watch.
I have my like digital watch set to analog to like practice telling time.
Man.
Wow wowwy five resolution. We're all changing a little bit. Okay, we're all changing, very good, stee, We're evolving.
But yeah, the I can't I do so I do have to go through the alphabet to like, if I see someone, I'm like, fuck, oh it's Daniel.
There died Daniel.
Remember when I we were on tour and there was a blast from the past and he was in mind and.
I already know the name.
And now I know the name because of the interaction.
Dude, I don't want I mean, I don't either whatever, but I recognized him and it was like DRS had talked to him first, and then I didn't know the name, and he's like Adam, and doors like gave me a look like.
I think I might like Adam, look who it is? Yes, I think it was.
I think it was that. It was like, look who it is, Adam. And then I turned around and without hesitation, delivered the name dude through the fucking eyes, just had it and it was a deep, deep cut. I'm talking legit twenty years ago from an improv class, legit twenty years ago.
Well, I do. I think in those instances where you just let it fly. Sometimes when we see somebody, we we start to second guess what their name is, and you might actually know it, but the last thing you want to do is call them the wrong names. So you're like, is it that person's names? Though maybe by not really digging into your brain and just letting it fly you it's better that way.
Yeah, I'm big on I always say my name again, like before. Like even if I know people's names, if I don't see them for a while, I'm like, hey Mike, it's Anders and they're like I know, and I'm like, okay, good. But if you didn't, I don't expect people to remember my name, you know, so.
You lead see that's I do that if I don't know their name, They're like.
It's it's a if I do or don't, it's a both.
Yes, it is kind of stuff when they go yeah, we've met before, and you go, no, I know, I know that that's not why I was doing that. Dude, I'm a king of a My god, there he is. What's up, brother, my brother, my breath.
I think I've stumbled upon a safe way to ask. I think it works. It's worked for me is to go remind me your name again? Like some thing about saying remind me of your name again, as opposed to like, what's your name?
It's like whoa fucke?
Yeah, But dude, some people get super offended because they it could be people don't understand how many people. Not that we're wildly famous or anything, but there was a time where we're meeting.
Hundreds upwards of dozens of people.
I mean, we've met a lot of people.
Urkllog's first takes took off like you just met so many fucking people. There was no way to keep track of everyone. And so then now fifteen years later, some of those people are like, hey, and you know, if if you had only met one hundred people that year instead of the ten thousand that we met, you should know their name. But we just I don't have that ability. I'm not smart enough to know your name.
What I think about the remind me is that it's I know it. I know that I should know, as opposed to what's your name again, which is like I've complet completely forgotten, then you yes, what is it again?
And you feel like that is better than right because because because all that all you're doing.
But my guy, it's it's all funny games where you're just kicking the problem down the curve.
And if you want to know the person's name, because if you yes, because if you my guy a guy hard enough, now you can never ask again because they're like, yes, I'm your fucking guy. You don't even know my name.
Then you go, this is my wife, Chloe, And then hopefully that's what you do, or you bring in someone and you're like, hey, this is my guy, this is my buddy Blake.
I know, but that's you're not doing the work. You're making somebody else do the work for you. And trust me, we've all been there. Yeah, we've all by the way of it, and you just are and by the way they know when you bring someone else over and they go, this is your wife, yeah, and introduce me to your wife.
And tell you tell you who couldn't handle that? That asshole chevy Chase, that's.
Absolutely he would ship and he would be super but heard about it, he'd run off into his dressing but and he'd be right, and he'd be right. That's a cool move. Though, next time somebody introduced you to their wife, you should be like, oh, well, now introduced me to her, as if you don't know your wife. No, like you say like, here's this is my wife. She says her name. But then you don't say your name to their wife. You say, tell her who I am?
Oh yeah, yeah, you hold them accountable? Yeah, tell her who I think.
If you want a.
Party to like go to the next level, that's a surefire away to like turn things up.
And yeah, that's kind of cool. I feel like conversations.
Out of the three of us, Durst is the only one that would pull something.
Like might actually try that we're doing right, guys?
Who who is just willing to throw I feel like Blake and I are enough of people pleasers that we would be like, Okay, yeah, we're playing the game here. And then I feel if des has a little hair, little hair of his ass, he might just throw a wrench in the whole fucking party, just ruined the whole event. And I would be excited to be there to witness it be there.
Yeah, throw them to the wolve and be a little ashamed that he's my friend.
Yeah, be a little bit like I'm sorry, but then also more proud of DERs that he did something that insane.
Yeah, ironically, I'm thinking of a very specific exchange in your in your Hollywood house, Adam with someone whose name I'm currently going through the alphabet in my mind so I can tell it.
I don't think I can remember.
It, but I go, hey, dude, it's and I know his name at the time, and I go it's Honors and he goes, I know your name. Did you think I not know your name? Like why wouldn't I know your name? And like he was offended, And it's the very this person thing to say, Rickclassman.
Yes, now, not that he listens to this. You know, Rick is on the spectrum. He's on the spectrum. He talks about it.
It was the night he discovered it and I put my hand on his shoulder, like, Rick, of course you are, like we've all known.
Yeah, he was very offended when everyone in his life when he was like, yeah, the doctor told me I'm on the spectrum, and he expected us all to be like nor what Rick Glassman, You're on the spect that's crazy, dude, But.
For sure it's it's obviously his superpower.
It's incredible. Like I wish I was a little more on the spectrum. I'm like, I'm just a fucking down the middle dug.
You're an idiot, Yeah, just like a borderline dumb as rock, dumb as rocks dude, you know, yeah, yeah, right, come on.
Yeah, I'm like, get me on the spectrum a little bit. I want to fucking know a bunch of shit.
Yeah.
It was the week he had just been diagnosed or whatever, so he was flying high.
Yeah, that's a huge week, leaning in and then I feel like you lean in a little harder.
Yeah you got you get away with stuff a little.
Enjoy it a little bit. Yeah yeah, get get nominated for some awards or something. Is there somebody who's very.
Famous who you in the moment? Could you were like, guy, fucking what is Jesus Guy fiery?
Don't joke you can never forget that name?
Well, I brought up I was doing I was hosting at the Improv way back in the day, and I was on stage and I'm it was Nick Swartson and I know Nick really well, and he's famous, and at that time, like I was, I was before workaholics, before anything. I'm just a host. I should know Nick Swartson's name. It's my whole job. And I go ladies and gentlemen, and I look over and I see him and I'm like, wow.
You're nervous. You're nervous.
I'm right, maybe I'm nervous, but I've been doing it long enough that I'm not really that nervous. I'm just I just it's just fucking brain fart dude, ye And I just.
Go wow, wow, man, oh man, you melted it. Yeah.
No, And I'm like, man, oh man, this guy you're I mean, yeah, you can't even explain how excited I am.
To bring him up. Needs no introduction, Yeah, he needs no introduction here. I'm not going to give him one. Keep it going, keep it going.
And I'm like wearing, I'm waving Nick, and he's like looking at me, like what the fuck are you go? And then he gets on stage He's like, did you forget my name? And then I'm walking off and I'm like yeah, and he's like, what the fuck you forgot my name? And it was it was kind of a little bit of a thing. But you know, we laugh about it.
You come up here, it's actually funnier if you say your name please. Yeah. Yeah, that's rough. Yeah, it was a rough part. It was that is your job. That is the only reason you're there. I remember Rita at the improv was a little bummed.
She's like, Papes, I give you these opportunities.
You gotta know, bucking people's names. Poopes.
Rito is the manager at the improv. She's a goddamn legend. You raw, and that is I do a great impression for her. That's that's actually not like some are really bad, but hers is very spot on.
You're good with names, right, Adam. Besides that, I'm pretty good with names. Yeah, Blake, No, I'm bad.
I can yeah, I can see that. I can imagine.
Yeah, yeah, that's very terrible.
You remember who was really good with names, so much so that they almost said your name, like at the beginning and end of every sentence. Do you guys know who I'm talking about.
I don't.
It's a little bit of a throwback Thursday.
Caroline Oh really, Oh yeah.
Caroline Rich, who did an episode of Workaholics, was in like a sketch group with us, like way back in the day, she would always be like, honors, how.
Are you onders are you good? And I'm like, you say the like you're constantly.
I think it's because he was a pageant girl. Yeah, but that's also a tool. That's a great way to learn people's names. As soon as you hear it, stay it back to them like ten.
Yeah, well tell you who.
And I think it's a politician thing too, because everyone likes to hear their name, like you feel like, oh, that person actually knows me. When I did that Funnier Die video with I mean poly charged, but with sleepy Joe Biden, this you said sleepy, you charged it.
I know it's it was charged. It was just regular nothing. But he wasn't sleepy during this time. He was a very awake, very wake Biden.
Okay, and he was fucking great.
Dude.
We walk into this it's like a party scene. It's a Funnier Die video that we shot together, and it was sick.
Dude. It actually was so cool, and I wonder ahead.
They took me to the I'm in the White House and he's like, hey, you want to meet Barry. I'm like, yeah, yeah, absolutely, and Uhry and.
Barry was just sitting and then we go to the Oval office.
We're standing outside and they are like, oh, he just got on a call. It'll be like twenty thirty minutes. Can you guys wait, and we don't have time, and I'm like fuck. So anyway, so we're shooting this video and we're there berries Barrock, yeah, Barock, Oh got it, Okay, got it.
Okay, you're really bad, like Blake said, he's really bad with him.
So we are there shooting this video. There's like fifty people, like forty fifty people like extras crew members. He goes around, he introduces himself, meets everybody. Yeah, knows everyone's name, finds a little fact about them, like, uh, Blake's you know, like he meets Blake. Blake's nervous, so he says. So he says, he skates boards and then skateboards.
Uh, mister Hayes, I skates boards.
I skateboards ahead, I skate boards, skates board. Yeah, okay, poser Blake, God gotcha, you skates bored?
Moving off with words Blake.
So he then upon leaving, went through everyone and said goodbye, you know, said the little factoid back to them like he was how he remembered everyone.
That was the same day that my dad hung up on Joe Biden whooped.
I was like, hey, my dad voted for you and Barack Uh he's a sorry polycharged, but my dad did and uh and by the way, has a bit as a bit no by the way, I do my dad. He won't shut up about it still to this day, so you know, he's he keeps it polycharged.
I love it.
I'm like, would you mind if I called my dad real quick and you talked to him? And he's like, of course, is he cool?
So I called him.
I'm like, Dad, I've someone here that'd like to say hello to you. And he's like, hi, Dennis, this is Vice President Joe Biden.
I hear you, guys. You voted for me. I just want to say thank you for your vote.
And my dad goes bullshit and hang up the phone fucking hung up on monster goodbye. And he's like he just said bullshit and hung up the phone. And then he was like, that's hilarious. Hands me with my phone back, and then he was whisked away goodbye, and and was just in the wind and was gone and I'm you know, never going to see this guy ever again. And then I called my dad back later, like what the fuck, dude, you just hung up on the Vice President.
And he was like, oh, that wasn't one of your friends doing it? Joe Biden impression. I'm like, yeah, Dad, Yeah, Dad, classic, Yeah Dad. Even though I talked to you yesterday, you knew I was going.
He knew I was going to the White House to do a video with Joe Biden. It still is such an insane thing. It was such an insane thing.
Also to hang up, Yeah, he.
Says it was a connection issue with his car.
He was like, cut out. I didn't hang up and cut out. And I'm like, sure, okay, sure, okay, But then why did you say bullshit? He goes, because I thought it was bullshit. And I'm like, well, well, yeah, all right.
I feel like that single handily might have kind of destroyed Biden's brain and confidence and all that kind of stuff.
And yeah, he was taken down a peg.
I bet as a vice president, a lot of people aren't saying bullshit, you know, directly to him.
You know. Oh, I'm glad, I'm glad he called him out.
But in a way like that butterfly, the butterfly effect of that call, and as far as I can see, it might have caused the fires.
Yeah, it could have been.
And and like essentially him saying bullshit was like, what's with Hunter's laptop?
You know, essentially.
Exactly, that's kind that bullshit, okay, And what is with the laptop?
I don't even know politics enough to.
Know I've never ever read the fine print on the laptop.
On what the laptop? They're like, what's with the laptop? I'm like, yeah, dude, what is it? What is it? A PC? Like, what is it anybody's laptop?
I don't want to people like I want to see laptop very I want to see everybody's laptop, anybody who's in office.
I want to see the laptops. Not a good dude, by the way, I don't.
I don't want to see any of your laptops because I know the first thing I'm going to put in on your you know, your website, I'm just gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna go worn hub and then look at the search and then I know way too much about you.
Then I know way too much about you. And Adam, what's the deal breaker. Blake is all just piss and bukkake VIDs. You know, sixty n. I don't want to. I don't want to know your your weird kinks. I don't think piss is that weird.
Okay, I know we've I know we've talked about not king shaming.
Yep, but that makes sense. But what's going on? Huh? What who's looking for the piss? Who's looking for Blake just said you said he doesn't I don't think it's that weird. I don't engage and peoplay, but I don't. I don't don't think it's that weird. You don't think it's that weird. It's just pee. Squirt is pee?
I know, but what's it's just pe? Then it's just pooh, It's it's just it's just.
It's just no. I think that pee is by far the least defensive of those k Like, if you're into blood play, that's that's a little weird to me. And then poo poo is stinky.
So okay, all right, Blake, I was right on the money, dude, So on the money, dude.
But this is my point. Blood play is a little weird. But why why isn't pee not weird?
This is crisp. I don't I don't stuff, dude, I just staying, I.
Know, but why do you even like to Why are you even defending it?
Dude?
I was like, you bring up the porn hub, you look at the search, you really know about a person?
And then I put as a joke, Adam, I don't know. No, I don't know. I'm not I'm not a pe guy. I'm not saying you are.
But the way that you're going, that's fine. It makes me go.
But what about it is desirable? Blake? Stand up, stand up for your choices. I think I think it. I think I don't know. Some people get off on like degreda, degregating degraded people, and maybe it's a form of of of degradation. Maybe yeah, I think in some cases I think it is. I think someone Yeah, well, but I think there's a there's there's, of course, two ways. There's the person who likes to pee on people, and then there's a person who likes to get peed on, like.
In Germany that there's a famous pis goblin. Sure lays in the very.
Toilets okay and you pee, Yeah, you pee.
And apparently he's been there for like thirty years. He's like a sixties year old man. Now he's been doing his thirties and he just, uh, you could just pee on him, male or female, Yeah, male or female.
He just any pe. He just wants your pee.
And what I'm saying is we we don't want a kink shame. But I'm asking the big questions here, Yes, what what's the rush?
What are we doing? Well?
I think, I mean, I'm not a nice guy, but I think, like Blake is, I think I don't know.
I think that it feels good to pee. Yeah, hey, you don't have to tell me.
The locost got me feeling real good.
Yeah, I don't know what with with any kink you can go be like, I don't Some shit is like even like BDSM, It's like, I don't know. To me, that seems like an awful time. Yeah, like an auchi. Yeah, like a little bit of an OUCHI yeah, yeah like that that seems like it hurts. I don't like that. I'm a very down the middle people.
That's why I'm saying. You don't want to see hunters or anyone. You don't want to see anyone's laptop.
Again, I don't think that. I know.
What I'm saying is if you want to see his, you should want to see everybody's, because I don't even know what's on his.
I don't think that the whole thing behind Hunter was looking at his porn searches. I don't think that's what the laptop was. I like that that's where we went, but I don't think what else could it be? Nothing else it could be. I think maybe he was making deals.
He's mostly porn and like a bunch of half screenplays. What else could be on the laptop.
Starts starts of screenplays? Uh huh, And it was just it's just my dad was my dad the president?
Yeah?
And then the next screenplay is called Dave the President's son.
Yeah, right, white House down? He wrote white House down or fallen.
I don't know who it is sick. Yeah, I think his white House down? Yeah hmm, well, what a revelation. Any take backs? Any apologies, yeah, Blake, any I want to apologize to you guys for making you think that I like urine play. I don't that's that I misled you. I'm saying. I just I don't think it's super offensive. I can see people doing it, and maybe so I don't like it. I don't like it.
Okay, I put piss on Blake. Let's this is a good exercise, and let's yeah, let's put what would you say would be mine? Then?
Blake? If you I put pissed on you, what would you say? Or anders? I was just gonna say.
I think Adam went so hard about Blake being in the piss to kind of take take it.
Away from him a little bit.
Okay, He's like, if I go, if I lean in and really go after Blake, we're gonna be looking at Blake, we're gonna be thinking about Blake. But really, Adam, I'm like, what's going on over there?
The only reason I did that it was because Blake goes I don't think immediately it was like, I don't think piss is that weird?
Right?
And it's sort of I was like, okay, well he doesn't think.
So you sa Yeah, you saw your window and you were like, this.
Is this saw? I saw the I saw the inn. I saw the Yeah. Yeah.
Meanwhile, you're slamming waters over there and you can't wait to go.
Pe once.
When you gab coffee a nice macafe, Okay, so you're thinking my thing is also a pissed that's not as fun.
No, I'm thinking your thing is. You know, you're kind of a nautical guy. You probably get into like vintage Captain Stabbin, like maybe you know, fucking on boats and I do love a good adam, if you understand what's happening. You don't know Captain Stabbing, I don't know Captain staff Come on, legend is a legend.
Yeah, he's oh yeah, he got Fox with like a uh, what's it called happening?
You would like on boats?
Yeah, mostly boat This was like two thousand, you know, college like Captain Stabbage.
Outside with like the wind on your deck.
Yeah, outside supers are huge.
Yeah, you know him and Mike and Brazil. They were really running things. That's how you chase your cock or chap your cock. So what about what about h Dursden Blake? You can't wait to hear this dude laid on me. I mean you'd want to think it's probably a lot of go for Blake, glory whole, glory, whole gloryhole. Think he's a glory whole guy. Yeah, or he just like it makes you think I would blow some guy through I mean, what do you I'm thinking like specifically, like your do you think I just suck any dick through a wall? I mean you watch it, you enjoy to watch. I think I think it would.
You would think it would be a lot of like ebony princesses. Oh okay, I think that's what you would think.
Is that a thing?
Yeah, you would think that that's what it is.
Is that a thing? Really? Ebony? Never heard of it? You would think that is what it is.
I think he's looking for the whitest woman, the whitest you know, the whitest possible.
And what that translucent blue vein.
Translucent yes veiny like you see yes, right.
You can see the penis inside of them through their stomach.
Oh, or you're like those those like weird uh sorry, not weird, but like the anime where they crossed their eyes and go like we've talked about this, and you like so sad. Not that I think it's that.
I think it's so sad that like women are doing that, that they're like.
That that's where we're at as a society, because like that's sad, that is sad. He just wants the whitest woman possible. This is sad.
I'm just gonna say, oh, this is a B C, D E F. But but for like porno categories, did people say Latina.
Created the I'm pretty Latina. I don't know.
I don't know, because like, obviously the porno category is you do.
No, I don't. I don't think that.
I don't remember everyone going around saying latinas.
What about Latino?
I think they said Latino women, and then now Latino.
I feel like I'm gonna ask my Latino wife, Uh.
Your what wife? Latina? You said Latina? No, I didn't. You said Latino. No, I didn't. I said you said Latino. He said Tatinos. He's getting hungry.
Maybe maybe I just got a little mumby Totino's, Yeah, totinos Totinos.
I'm gonna ask her how she feels about this. Okay, don't no, no, no, don't don't.
Because obviously like it doesn't say like black, it says it says like ebony. Right, we're talking about ebony says black. No, No one's walking around going like, oh, and how many ebony children are at your school?
Right? Sure, it's a specific porno name.
But when I hear someone in the wild say, like a guy say, like, and the the a lot of the populations, Latina, I'm like, I'm like.
Six six streets.
Do people really say this?
How is it?
Or is it like a So if someone were to say, like, look at all the the like, look at that. Uh, there's a large population of ebony women in this restaurant.
All right, Hey, did you see the ebony cheerleaders? Uh for this team or whatever? You're like, like, what I see you? And so, I just don't ever remember hearing before porno. I don't remember ever hearing someone being like Latina's you're right.
I do believe that's all a lot of stuff spawns from porno.
And so when I hear men say it now in the wild, yeah, I do think that I'm with you.
That word existed before porno, and I think that people probably use it. But I think Latina saying.
I'm saying the way we use it, Okay, we use it, are you? I don't use it like that? You use it like that, motherfucker, I'm saying. When I hear any take back saying apologies, any epic slams, I already took. Apologize to you, guys.
I apologize to the Latina population. If this is, but I feel like Hispanic women.
I don't. I don't know. I'm just wondering Sliding to Blake? You will tell me. I don't know Slider to Blake's d M. Dude, I don't know. All right. That was another great episode of this Cornfrno. I like that one easer. I'm about to fuck the ship out of somebody. Okay, really drop it in, all right, or just go.
Be on them.
The man walks down studie.
Oh, that's when it really gets juicy.
