Explicit

Ep 168: Live from San Jose: Gavin Newsom Hates Blake’s Hair

Published Nov 14, 2023, 11:00 AM

Live from San Jose! 

Today, this is what's important:

Water trash, moms, diarrhea, movie villains, aging, sports hats, Isaac sound drops, doctors, water parks, hot topics, Q&A, & more. 

Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's obviously most critically crucially important today.

On This Is Important, I said, no, Mitch, you read and while you're at it, play the harp.

Damn, I'm never gonna forget that. I'll take that to the grave when I die of diarrhea. And you guys all laughed at me.

Do you guys have any cool like you bonded with teachers and they took you in the car and jerked you off stories.

He knows not what he says, hold on, let's go.

Oh my god, here we go. Baby, how does it go? Blake?

He goes Babria Like that, tell the people that forty Water back. You have to tell the people forty water Who does have a drop on our board?

He does? Lets of friends and.

Okay, here's my question is are do people live in San Jose? All right?

Okay?

What makes you so.

The crowd?

What made you? What made that your question?

We should one? Well, because I feel like a lot of people you you say San Jose and people are like yeah. And then you say Bay area and people are like so dude, because.

The Bay San Jose is one part of the Bay, right sure, but the all go all encapsuling is the Bay.

If if you go I'm from Omaha, Nebraska, right and I go and I go Omaha in Omaha, it's gonna go wild. But if I go all of the Midwest right right, right?

But what if you shout out Millard, No.

There'll be like twelve friends because they're all like too old to go out now. They're like I have four kids. Yeah, but it's real. It hits hard.

Well, that was kind of like when I was doing that, or when Kermit was doing the intro. So, oh my fuck, talk about ruining the illusion. Hello, and I shouted out conquered. I didn't hear too many cheers.

Where the conquered's at? Yeah, oh shit, I'm moving back to conquered.

They're still not cheering for Concord. Huh.

Well they're water trashy.

I watch it. It's a term of endearment, that water trash.

Yeah, absolutely, this is this is the birthplace of water trash. That Bay water creates kind of methy trash people.

We all know this.

I love them, we all know this.

Them the brain eating a booth.

So what what was it like? Where did water trash, because I feel like we've been calling you guys water trash.

Okay, what water water?

I saw, Kyle, I filt it.

Yeah, water, Yeah, of course you did, because that's in my blood. I'm seventy water track. Kyle.

The older he's getting, he's getting more of like a golf adjacent thank.

You, which is just yes, right, yeah it is.

It looks like he's ready to go pick up a paddle and dink and dink.

Definitely. I'm ready to drink, joint drop whatever you do.

When we first meant Kyle, it was like his armpit hairs were always sprouting now yes, yes, and.

They got a mind of their own.

And you looked You always looked a little wet, and I thought that that's what.

We got because I always had sweaty hair. That's just sweat too much.

No water trash is impossible to clean.

Spot this. Can we get a spotlight on him already?

Okay, well, if we're doing the spotlight.

Of water trap?

Wait, are you already taking off clothes?

Dude?

Talk about like a guy taking off a sweathir to reveal one of the best bodies you've ever seen.

Dude, I will say, Kyle has gotten. He's gotten. Like way Lean, you're looking really hot.

It's all the dnking and dinking and dropping.

Baby, this is some of the this is this is peak level, Kyle. What are you say, Kyle? Take off your shirt, shake your titties?

What did you what was This isn't the chance? This isn't the strip show?

Now?

What did you say, Kyle? Whip pulled down your pants and fingers?

Oh my god? This isn't the did you say? This isn't the full?

What do you think? This is?

Sig watch a full Monty bullshit?

My favorite part about this show already is me saying all this dirty stuff for you to do. And I know your mom is in the audience.

Where's that spotlight?

Mama?

I know your wife's in the audience.

Yeah, grandma's here, that's right. Wow, Hey, Papa is here? Coined the term that gets my pecker heart?

You know what I think while I'm here, while I'm here, live Papa?

Yes, there it is.

You know, my mom really really wants points to you don't have to give it to her, But I just.

Also, how how fucked up is that? Ed Hee's Like, dude, my mom really wants points in front of all these people. He's like, you don't have to do it.

She gets it.

So if I don't do it, I look like a total So I'm like, no, no.

We got to give her a reason. You can't just give points for for no reason. What is some funny ship that your mama said?

She you know, mom, you.

Don't leave your mom hanging, but she's funny. Come on, Pamela, this is fucked up. Where's my spotlight? They give my mom points for just having me as a child.

Okay, you know what that is noble for raising me.

Give for fucking dealing with me, dude. I was trying to start fires everywhere.

Because Kyle punched her once something.

Give her points because I punched her.

Yeah, I did your hair or she was like, she.

Was doing the lice comb and I couldn't take it anymore and I smacked her.

Right, So this is not a smack. This is close.

That's a punch.

Did a nice little.

She's also the woman your parents coined every phrase they pick it to peck her heart and then like a story needs to be full of lies?

What was the other one?

Don't ruin a good story with the truth, right, that's our family that's her.

That's my mom's sack. That's right, Yeah, that's right. Those We're all good.

Well, come on, can we shift the spotlight a little bit. My mother is also in the building. Where are are you mom?

You know, it would be really cool, dude, I just saw the door open.

She just left.

What would be awesome as if she said she was here and did not show.

Up and you're like, what was your favorite part? And she's like, the guys talked about your buttle Yeah, the diarrhea. You know, I'm sure you mentioned your buttholes at some point.

The diarrhea monologue was really good monologue.

Oh anybody with me there?

Yeah? But diarrhea?

Would you say, mamologue?

Well there's that too.

Okay, Well, you can tell who my mom is because she has the exact same hair as she really did.

You just see what seems like a blake wig just running out.

Her hair is a little has a product in it, and mine is like.

I'll say it, your mom has. It's nicer. It's way better. It's a much nicer head of hair. Like you look at hers and you're like, she's a proper looking woman. If you your hair on a woman, you're like, oh sweet honey. Right, I think I saw like, let me brush, let me take care of you.

I saw a street a street lady.

The other day with your hair, yeah, and I just was like, you look like you have things that are living inside of your hair. Your mother doesn't look that way at all.

No, she does not.

My hair looks like it would light on fire so easy.

Yeah, dude, right, it does looks like brushfires.

Right.

Gavin Newsome fucking hates my hair.

Right, Gavin hates your hair.

You can't even walk through a brushy area, no without Gavin Newsom saying.

Something that is his first name, right, Sure, what I say, Javin is Javans.

Yeah, Javin, Javin.

Where's Javan?

I bet if he rebranded as Javin, he'd get some boats.

So I bet, I bet what's voting?

I bet?

Javin Newsom hairs also like mad flammable.

Oh dude, he's got so much product.

Yeah, yeah, that's just going up.

It's like a helmet.

He's a human tiki torch. I got a weird feeling that in anyway, he's just he's.

Just water trash that slicked it back one day in a suit and was like, I'm Patrick bate.

One, yeah, water trash all dressed up. Pickleball might be yeah.

I like this.

Check us back for tattoos of random words, dude, And that's a Kyle reference.

Kyle has a back of tattoos just say random words.

Have we seen uh? I feel like he's a guy we've seen with the shirt off?

Have we seen Newsome with.

The shirt off?

Throw? Do you need a moment? He's clem.

My man's had one beer.

He's already fucking tripping guys.

I've got I had a buzzball too, but oh sorry, my man's had one beer and the buzzball.

And also Blake is and I don't want to blow up his spot, Okay, but.

Obviously if you're saying that, you're about to.

He's been battling four or five days.

Five days, he told me in the car today explosive diarrhea.

And then that's not just for the show, and that's not hyper believe.

That's exactly what's happening. And uh, before the show, I Hondres comes up to me and goes.

Dude, did you ship on the toilet scene at the ship on the front of the bowl, on the front of the it's where it's here.

It was this part there was a spray of ship.

My ship always goes in the toilet, like I know it for not flushing this ship sometimes because I want my friends to appreciate my work.

Is that why? Yeah?

I like, I'm a ham dude. I want people to see my ship diarrhea. But Blake, very scared of his ships, doesn't want anyone to know he poops.

And apparently it was you somehow chat forward.

Yeah, dude, guys, did you sit? Did you like a c slater the toilet backwards and just rest your arms up? And that's the only go to work, as Adam calls it.

You know, did you again?

It was cool?

No?

I what I do when I take a ship is I get a bunch of like scratchers.

The spotlight one more time.

Let's get the spot so everyone understands this, including their family member Jesus Christ, and we can bring the rest of these lights down.

Wait, you're gonna highlight me as I talk about my diary.

We're not trying to technically direct this, but yeah, to go, thank you.

Have you guys ever seen the vagina monologues? We're just the diarrhea monologues.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

So what do you do, Blake, Well, if I have like scratcher tickets, I put them on the back of the toilet.

And so how often do you have scratcher tickets?

I keep a scratcher ticket in my wallet for every time I take a ship, because you never know when it's going to be that lucky turd.

So you put him, you put him on. Yeah, you do never know.

I spotlight, Please leave me alone.

Okay, Like I really like this.

I really like that. My favorite part of that was looking out on the crowd and watch Hairman's face go.

Right right by the way, Adam, thank you so much. Do you think I came out here to you guys cheering? Fucking awesome? San Jose is in the building?

Yeah, and I tried to San Jose in the building, and also a lot a lot of the surrounding area the Bay area, but San Jose is also here, but then mostly the Bay area.

Yeah it really.

Yeah and so yeah and like so it was very cool to see the Bay Area and uh, but I tried to be real cute and be like these boobs are and thank you, right, and then Adam comes out.

He's like player your mic is not on.

I know.

I was just like, were you wondering why?

You're like, oh, I guess the same housey does not fuck with drors. You come out, You're like.

It was it was a little underwhelming. But then I was like, oh, nobody told me the mic was not on. You've never done a show where the mic isn't on, and I'm gonna have someone's head.

Oh yeah, your boobs are huge, so.

So what did you say?

Yeah?

What were you saying?

I just said that, like, your boobs are?

Your boobs are huge?

And she shook my titties but nobody said huge, And I was like.

Are they not huge anymore?

Yeah?

They are?

They just regulation I would say.

I mean, no, your titties are always fucking huge, dude, your boobs are?

Did you just look at mine?

Well, because for a while there when you got big?

Yeah, maybe during your big chet it's a big I mean yeah, I think.

Maybe now I'm body fat percentage. I think I'm probably the fattest of the crew right now.

Nice so fat.

Yeah, I do like that, Adam.

Maybe you've got big old wants to.

Win at everything, even if it's like, actually, I'm the fattest let's get let's find out.

Let's get the calipers out. Okay, who's got the worst?

What I want?

I don't know.

I mean maybe you have more fat on your body. I mean I think I have the most.

Skin out of all of us. Whose skin? I think I have the.

Circums?

Hold on your go for it, show the crowd.

Okay, oh my god, but anybody could do that. Yeah, that's not I can't show how much fat you have.

I can't get a grip on this ship. What's going on? I'm slippery?

Hey, Kyle, you're gripping it, buddy.

It feels like it's slipping through my clutches.

Well, you look like fucking Jim Carrey in the MAS.

That thing is so then there you go, Like I said, most or you look like the bad guy when he got the mask.

Where's that guy?

He seems like he's not his name. His name was Damien in the movie. In the movie, but the actor, the actual guy, I don't know. He died.

In the nineties, there were a handful of like scary white actors that were the bad guys in movies over and over again, like.

The dude from the Crow.

Yes, that guy's happened to dominic. Remember how scary dominic black guy in kindergarten cop.

Wait, his name, His name is not dominic Chris. His son is dominant. His crisp, Yes, his crisp because it's Donald.

Get the Choplin, now do it. There's no chop movies.

There's no chopper in kindergarten Dominic.

Run sure, but I don't know if there's a chopper.

There's definitely no chopper in kindergarten cop.

No. Adam watched the extended cut. We're at the end that Arnold is just mowing down fucking kindergarteners. They've turned into zombies.

Right, And the little principal jump out of a tree with like throwing stars.

And sucking the only kid who didn't turn into a zombies dominic And Arnold's like, get up the chop dominic and he's just mowing down kids. His parents started, And I see why they cut the scene.

Yeah, yeah, I guess I should rewatch that movie. It's crazy how good it is.

Well, hey, guys, to be fair, Adam's oldest. Fuck now, he just turned forty.

That's right, that's right, Happy birthday.

What's it feel like? Happy fucking birthday?

Bro giving me a birthday hug. I'd like to do.

Damn.

And I'm like a lot of people are like, you know, you don't really feel forty when you turn forty.

I do.

Yeah, Yeah, old as shit. I feel old and fat and slow. Yeah, thirty five and forty when they hit something changes.

I know.

What's been interesting lately as I've been getting a little bit older and nearing forty, is like I don't give a fuck about technology, Like I don't care about the advancements of technology, donkey, donkey at all.

And you're a director, so that might really hinder you.

You know, it's fucked up.

I just keep thinking about going and doing like plays and stuff I buy.

You don't do that, Kyle, you mean have a career.

Yeah.

They're like, how come you're not responding to Matthew McConaughey's emails. You're like, I only take written notes in the mail.

Yeah, dude, I can kind of buy horseback, Yeah, carrier pigeon and that's it.

So unless McConaughey's people want to train a pigeon, he's not in the film.

I'm off the project.

Yeah, hey, do you think that is that true? What Blake said, what mccarnagey, you legit only will work with a carrier pigeon situation.

Is that true? That's how you got a contact message.

I don't even know what you joking or was that real as of this moment right now, send me a carrier pigeon if you want me.

To do work.

You are almost forty.

That's how it goes. I didn't feel I didn't know.

Well, Kyle's been saying that he's been forty for like the last like four years, so ready for it. He's like three months younger than I am. So I'm like, no, you're not, dude, hold up thirty seven years old.

I know, but I round up, you know, I always round up.

I don't know what this comes from your mom, who says when counting live forward right?

Yeah, it's just kind of hey.

And by the way, what I gotta give her some points for that.

I can't get a handle where they are. Hey.

You know what else is weird? Kyle's brother Adam is taking pictures of us literally every almost every new check is kind of in the building, dude, little we need louis in the house. We are surrounded by NUA checks right now. It's actually freaking me the fuck.

And do you think that's why it kind of smells in here?

Okay?

No, speaking of which, did you put on deodorant because you were.

He got a tupec before.

I was starting to get a little ripe.

It was like we didn't you know how, like you run out of deodorant and then you just kind of tap it on there when you don't have enough.

Everyone's laughing because they don't know what you're talking about.

You know, when you get to the end of the deodorant stick and it's like the plastic around the outside and you get all sure and the only way to apply it is if you tap a tap a tap.

That's what I did today, And then in back stay just started stick.

And then you didn't think of like, well, I have a show tonight, I should just swing through any drug store.

I asked my wife another new check in the room to swing by CBS, and they didn't have the the regular arm and hammer, which was unfortunate, man like an old refrigerator. So then I put she got like the citrus con No, No, she got Toms, and I was like, you know what, I'll take a risk with Toms.

Let's do it. There's no booming. I'm in it. There's none of that. I'll just I'll risk it with Tom's But.

I said, I said, I said, I said, I'm gonna go take a ship.

I said, it's probably not gonna work.

Let me defend your parents, who are perfectly presentable people. Do I think Kyle's armpit hair situation was like the rebellion because his parents are pretty normal.

And yeah, I'm just gonna like fucking never wear sleaves.

I got sleeves on now, Man, what more do you want to love the transition? I love it? Yeah, I like that for you transitioning. Yeah, you boos are huge.

And I don't know why we're laughing at that? Why are you laughing at that?

No, I'm just happy for him. I always knew it was happening.

I always know it too. We've had a lot of good times in the bar area. I used to come up here every Thanksgiving, which is only in a few weeks around this time, every Thanksgiving and have Thanksgiving with Kyle and his family, and then uh, Blake. I would go over to Blake's house. Kyle would get into fist fights. Oh yeah, like leg like legit fistfights. Yes, and then it would just be me like crying in a fucking like shopping mall parking lot, be.

Like why don't they like me?

Well, that was like out in like near Clayton. Does is there any Clayton people in the house?

Oh?

Hell yeah?

Yeah? Is that part of burial.

Because we would go to what's that one?

San Jose?

But what is it from?

Is it from the commercial for the place?

No, it's well, you know, do you know the way to San Jose?

Is like yeah, yes, of course, yeah.

And who sang that song? Do you know the way to say?

What's her name? Diana Warwick?

Don Dion Warwick?

Also like, you know, that's when he's saying it's Burt Backrack he wrote it, Yes.

Okay, but she's saying and I'm just saying, you know, that's Whitney Houston's Aand but also.

Why I don't understand.

I don't understand why was she asking if you know, directions to San Jose Because the whole.

Song is about like l A has too much traffic and they fucking do crack there.

And what is what's the next line that rhymes with that? And then I think.

San Jose has some good snacks there.

Yeah, I thought's fair.

Yeah, No, it's it's about leaving La and going to San Jose where it's kind of I think it's San Jose. It was kind of cracking in the eighties and nineties, like when the show, I think it's still cracking. No, it still is. It still is.

The fuck is going on?

I'm saying when it was like the come up, when like the Sharks were the San Jose Sharks were like a new team.

Yeah yeah, and.

They're like, wait, sports teams can wear teal Oh.

Hell yeah, that's true. That's true.

That's wild. I didn't even know that was an option for sports.

I have a San Jose Sharks story. It's not even that good.

Okay, kill some time to hear it.

Let's hear it. So let's hear it.

It's probably what is it? It's nineteen ninety.

Three, that makes sense, and the Sharks come out that makes.

Sense ninety one ninety two.

I think, okay, that makes sense. Your job is to listen to my story.

And I get a brand new fitted Sharks hat and I remember spending I spent twenty two dollars on.

This hat, and I was like, this is fucking huge.

Where I go to school, you're not allowed to wear hats inside because you might be affiliated. But most schools, this hat is too good. I throw it on. I walk like seven steps into like sixth.

Grade or whatever.

The fuck it was hot boy.

And miss Green.

Miss Green comes by snatches my hat over your head and no hats inside.

That's mine.

Now I go to her class, third period or whatever, and I did you fight her?

Hang on?

Hang on?

I'm being like a huge fucking nuisance because she has a hat rack and I'm looking at my brand new fucking hat and I'm just like not playing games and she's calling on me.

I'm like, I don't want to read.

She gives me a detention, said I'm not going to read. She was like, Hondred you read.

I go.

You remember how.

You like Sprinkle the story the Little Eyes. But essentially I was.

Like, no, thank you. Less cool but still pretty aggressive, super but like under the breast, she knows what I'm saying. I'm not feeling it today, but thank you though.

And I was like, why don't you go play the harp?

Because she played the harp.

I said, no, bitch, you read, and while you're at it, play the harp damn.

You jet like, mother fuck up?

So I get detention okay because apparently the harp shit hit deep too close to home, and so after school I gotta go there.

I'm in her fucking class. She's like, I'll be right back. I need to go like do some shit.

She leaves, Okay, I go to the hat tree.

Oh shit, grab my hat, put it in my backpack. She comes back and she goes, okay, you can go.

Now, do you need a ride home?

And I was like, no, I'm good, I'm just gonna skid.

Daddle wait you said dattle.

Yeah, dude, he's pretty polite.

I established that like when you were affiliated the way I was. You said skoot app Yeah, he's part of the boot scooting boogie.

And she's like, where do you live?

And I go over here. She's like, that's really far to walk.

I'm giving you a ride.

And I was like, you're like okay, and then you're like, do you have your book for tonight's homework? And I go, m h, bitch and now just stealing from and peal But that's a great sketch.

But like those guys.

Are great, and so she goes, I don't believe you open your backpack.

No.

I opened my backpack, and to this day, I have no idea where the hat went.

Damn.

She goes into my backpack, goes like binder, other book, other book, finds the book, which I didn't even know was sucking in there, and she's like, okay, you have it.

Let's go. I'm giving you a ride.

Now I'm sitting shotgun in a teacher's car.

Wondering where the fuck my shark's head is. But were you You're in your teacher's car, were you?

So she's checking me off.

Yeah, where you are though, that's what I was.

I got one leg out the window, I thought, and uh, actually it was.

It was a limousine.

We were sixty story.

That's the story.

Now I'm talking.

I get home, I open my backpack. The hat's right there, and I'm like, this is unbelievable. I go back to school the next day.

She's like, you stole your hat back huh? And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And she's like, you have detention for a week.

What?

And I was like, I don't care.

I have my hat.

Yep, run along and play the hard bitch, it's.

Not a good story, but it's my only San Jose, I actually think that's a good story.

That's like, that's a mystery, dude, what the fuck?

Yeah, And from then on I've been super religious.

Yeah, you had somebody watching now.

Yeah, the baby the baby Angel was on my upon you it was like.

You know what I got, dude, that's huge and shark it was twenty two dollars.

Oh, I remember, prof I was not losing this hat.

It's like a pro fitting fitted with like the circle with the fin on the back. Oh you pop that from motherfucking lids.

I don't think lids existed.

I got it from like campus sports, which is like a college hat.

Maybe there was a champs back then or something.

Lids, dude, I remember walking it is late in the game, walking like the lids though, and that smell. You're like, you remember the smell of the the smell of lids, of those of all those sweet new hats, and you're like, actually, I have so many hats of sports teams. I never was into Yeah, so hard, don't give.

I actually wrapped a Braves hat too, but I played little league and I played.

On the Braves, so okay, So actually I was into him.

Yeah, I was expecting a deeper pool pull like Calgary Heat or some ship.

But I wasn't cool. I was following the trend. They won the championship and like you're like, Dad, I need a hat.

Yeah, that's cool. Who was the who was there short stop on the Braves on the Braves that year? I don't know about the Braves?

He had dope name.

What you say, Santa Ria? Who cares?

I was?

It wasn't Chipper Jones.

The Schipper Jones I think he was an outfielder was named Chipper Jones.

You had to be a baseball player?

Oh?

Yes, if you if you define the league, you are a fucking failure.

Was that dude Jim Abbott on the Braves or just one arm? Remember that guy?

Hero dude?

Yeah?

So there also there was a picture. I don't know if everybody watches baseball, but there was a picture that if I don't diarrhea, I'm gonna throw up. So I gotta pick one or the other. But there was a pitcher who had one one hand basically.

Didn't he have any It was like it was like he had like a half arm.

Yeah, and it was.

Throw the ball, And then why.

Isn't this dude like mad famous on TikTok, Like.

What the fuck? Well, because he's like seventy years old.

Now, I don't think just like a throw viral montage because I think he did catch when they hit it right back at him.

He did catch one or two.

Hell yeah, I'm saying I feel like not enough people know how fucking cool that guy?

Well, because he's seven years old, Blake, he's on TikTok. I don't give a ship about what the kids on top like.

Had a hot runn what's weird is he was also a really good dancer.

He's gotta be one of those hot boy TikTok. Yeah with the fluffy hair.

Is that who you would pick to like take off virally on chick nab It or like if you who's a deep cut?

And I'm not talking about the Calgary heat or what.

The somebody likes anybody to like give like a second moment too on TikTok.

Baseball favorite San Jose player like forever Mike Richie is my Yeah, yes, sir, I thought I was about ready to catch. Blake doesn't know any player from Yeah.

He'd like was as sick as he had got no teeth.

He was a hockey player.

Yeah, yeah, he probably didn't wear a mask ever.

He was just like, I don't care that I don't have any fucking teeth at all.

I'm not going to ever protect my face because that's like what hockey players do, right.

Ye, which, by the way, don't give a ship.

They're just take my teeth out.

Should we even talk about the thing that happened kind of recently? Do you guys know what I'm about to say?

He's saying, No, I don't.

I don't know they know Adam dude, some some dude straight up died during a hockey game, like fucking skate to the throat. Okay, we could skip that like an NHL game. No, it was kind of like I think it was overseas or some ship.

Oh well, yeah, well then no one here knows what you were going to talk about.

The Russians play hockey to the death.

I thought you were going to say, does everyone know that they haven't won a game until the other.

Night, That's what I hey, hey, and now we're turning it around.

See now that's just perspective. The death did not happen, but they have lost life.

Karen Durs's childhood story with the teacher trauma trauma? Do you guys have any cool like you bonded with teachers and they took you in the car and jerk you off?

Can't job whatnot?

Not?

Okay?

Today you can't. I used to know, but teachers can't jerk their students off anymore.

Science?

What kind of world are we living?

It's a new one. It's a new world at them.

That sucks.

Do you have some cow you're about to bust into something? I saw you? No?

No, I was just thinking about how I never, like, I would always take my grades to, especially in science class, to like a D. And then for whatever reason, I could convince all of my teachers that if I like wrote science in like a really cool like mural way and I would pass the class, I would be able to pass like every fucking class, which is art.

It's because you would do that, and they'd realize how kind of like I don't.

I don't even know what.

The word is we used now for the word we we used to use retarded.

That's the word, and I don't like Kyle's retarded.

We didn't know this, and so they were like it's a senior year of It's unbelievable.

That for somebody who isn't you.

Can't know you guys, you can't call me that. That's just rude.

I don't we did for the amount of the amount of dms. There's this great little retarded kid who love him, dude, he's he is like a rhythmic dancer that people have just DM me nice, dude, because it looks like you fucking ghost. He looks just like me, dude. I'm like, I look exactly like this guy. Wow, dude, and I just get I've got like twenty five dms the other day of him just fucking and he's way sassy, dude. Nice, He's the best.

You gotta meet him.

Yeah, what do.

We do we need with these these videos of like, look, I want all children are beautiful, but like the one where the kid.

Ever ever ever, I didn't say kids are.

I'm just saying from now on, beautiful a sexual term. I'm just saying we have a lot of cities left on the tour. Just don't start a sentence that way. Dog is like, don't start a sentence that way.

Video, are you thinking about kids?

I'm gonna go I don't like the way that sentence starts where it.

Goes, what do you drink?

Can be beautiful?

Yeah, what's wrong with that?

That is some Michael Jackson ship.

No, Michael Jackson ship is kids.

Buttholes are beautiful, right, that's what Michael Jackson about.

It's different.

It's it's a different Okay, go hey, you know what go off?

And I'm just it's weird. It's weird that you were so worried about it.

But anyway, start the sentence.

So watching this video these kids all fucking no.

This video of like the kids spinning in the kitchen.

The hashtags are like children are beautiful.

It's like hashtag like inspired, and I'm like, I think it's just kind of a kid.

Spinning in the kitchen?

Is it like in slow motion?

It's like he's super fast, he's got the headphones on, and like it's not that big of a deal.

I don't know why I kept saying it everywhere. My wife is pregnant right now, and so okay.

Big fucking year for the devices.

And fingers crossy comes out like that rhythmic dancer kid right.

Just right when it comes out, it's like this right the doctors and.

All of my my whole feed is just little kids, and it is crazy. It's like, obviously, is that.

Okay with you?

Check out?

I'm trying to tap in with my bros right now, Like, don't.

Say you're trying to feed little kids.

It's really weird how offended you are by my Instagram feed being cute little kids, Like your dick is hard right now, you're creeping.

Like your mom's here?

Is she?

She definitely might not be.

I don't.

I think she might have grabbed your folks and been like we get a burger.

Everybody be quiet? Everybody, Mom, are you here?

No?

No, let's where everyone behaved?

Quiet? Everyone shut the fuck up.

Mom. Hold on, let's pretend I'm seance mom. I seen her back there. Wow, we sat her all the way the fun back there.

Isaac, Wow, what a well she's Isaac was like, you might lose uh some teeth with a buzzball to face.

No, man, my mom done, gotze? Bro?

What is she a hockey player?

Your model?

A beautiful child?

Michelle Ritchie?

But so is that what you think of female?

Mike name is yeah, but what else would it be? Onders Michael. Okay, that's kind of good.

It's Michael, that makes sense.

Does that work for you?

It actually is better than any answer. I would have thought it was gonna come my.

Way, Isaac. I may regret this, but can I please get a course light on stage?

Please? God make it?

Make it?

Here comes Isaac. I might as well have another one.

Have you guys met our manager Isaac Yain? He's pretty cool?

Have you sax?

Have you guys met?

He's just still sitting there getting.

Getting radical.

No, Adam, not for you, not for you, buddy, Hey, happy birthday, dude.

No, you know what?

Here, Adam, you can have mine, I Isaac, Isaac, what the hell, dude, you know this is nothing? Also said nothing here.

Come on, bud, There we go, There we go.

Then then he refused to.

Isaac, take your shirt off, show the audience you're.

Look at this cool T shirt.

It's got pictures of that, Isaac. Hey, Kyle, give Isaac your mike and make him sing, Adam happy birthday.

Okay, here you go, Isaac, come back. I don't like you, guys. Tell me.

Come on, Isaac, Oh my god, come on, do.

A nice thing for me for once in your goddamn lines.

Going to the happy bird.

They thank you so much, Thank you so much, and now take your shirt off. Oh my god, he's naked.

Oh my god. I got some new drops on the board from when Isaac we made him speak on the microphone. I don't know where where we were. Every city we would go, we asked him to take his shirt off and show his titties. And this is what he said. I don't like you guys, tell me to show my tits. So that is the hot new drop. You heard it here first?

Wait, will you just play a couple of boards. This isn't really for you guys, It's more for us because.

Getting radical that's pretty good. That's pretty good. Wait what about the oh here we go?

I like getting weird with Kyle.

Yeah, this one's pretty good.

To Drinking with Adams always fun.

That one's actually legit. Drinking with Adams pretty fun.

Well, what's nice is he has yeh, such like a short way of speaking.

Sure, it's nice.

He slows it down. Drinking with Adam's always fun. It's kind of a little more melodic. He's choosing his words.

I don't like you guys, tell me to show my tits.

You hear it. I don't like you guys show me till he's nervous. He should be a rapper.

Yeah, actually he could be a rapper. He would be really good rapper.

What would Isaac's rap names be.

Sir Isaac?

Oh, sir?

Did I just get booed in my fuck in the bay?

Oh?

My god, damn yeah, boom damn. I'm never gonna forget that. I'll take that to the grave when I die of diarrhea. And you guys all laughed at me.

By the way, is there a legit is there?

There probably isn't but a doctor or anybody in the medical profession here.

So the way your front row are you're.

Lying though, right?

The one I didn't say adopted? I saw that. Wait a minute, somebody let to at a firehouse? No, but so what would be get off the floor?

Man?

That is dirty?

What would give somebody diarrhea for four days? And I'm asking for a friend, I'm asking the doctor what do you think?

What do you think?

Give her the mic?

All right, well, I don't know if I can hold on. Let me let me just extend here real quick.

Oh ship, I love you. No, but the shrimp I'm Morton Steakhouse.

Oh the shrimp at Morton Steakhouse.

Thank you doctor. Yeah, that was your medical professional doctors, everybody the shrimp at Morton's.

Could you imagine?

What are you a doctor of?

Real quick?

Just what are you a doctor of? Ma'am?

Oh? The body? Yeah, yeah, yeah, cool. I've heard of these massage parlors. Oh here comes a yellow shirt. Yeah you get no.

Ship, no ship.

You did it to the dirty Yeah, right.

Like you know what, she's cool tow she rocks.

I'm into. I mean she's honestly, if that were bros Hearts, yeah, if that was my doctor, I would be hyped as fuck.

So the real question, you have a real problem.

I'd say, hey, I have I've had the dirhea for five days, and she'd be like, it's that shrimps from Mark another way, like I habit eight shrimp in months.

Yeah, but it's the shrimps. The shrimps.

It's just kind of and you're like, what is this.

I have this lump on my throat and it's actually really scary.

It's you got a swallow shrimp. I think it's a shrimp stuck in your throat.

You know, when you hear like stories of the news about how like someone got.

A pig's heart transplant.

It's doctors like her.

They're fuck it, we'll try it. We'll just like it is a pig. Yeah, you're gonna die, so like fucking why not?

You know, like a She's like, fuck you, dude.

You know what's a problem if your doctor starts a fight with you.

Yeah, and you're like, well, how exactly does that work? Fuck you, bitch, it's a heart.

Do you want a hard or not? Bitch?

Cauts, She keeps saying, call the cops, Call the cops. I'm not scared.

Fuck you, fuck you, call the cops.

I've had this call for months. It's really scared me. Fuck you call the cops. Bitch, you're scared, scared to go back? Go back?

What it's a medical schools not real?

Yeah, and she goes, you want some prozac?

Right?

I got you.

Bro. You want some hydros? You just puild a handful out of your pocket.

I got you. Yeah.

No, this isn't worth now. This is a process.

Yeah, I think like that.

Loose naked worthers, and I subscribe you for prozacs like these are jolly ranchers.

Ma'am, ma'am, these are candy apple.

And don't eat shrimp in the morning.

Let's keep let's keep pulling this on apartment.

Ma'am.

I'm at an in and out drive through. Sir, this is a Wendy's Missus Green. You're driving me home in your hands on.

My deck.

And that is my shark's hats?

Had your backpack?

Or are you happy to see me? O?

My good lordy lord damn?

That is my sharks hat?

Lordy lord.

Hey.

I want to say a quick ri I P to raging waters right because that's where man.

Did everyone get a brain eating ambas there? Or what happened? Raging waters waters?

My teacher, my favorite teacher, Raging waters was like the well.

Like, how do you say raging?

It says raging like it's a fucking country bumpkin. Yeah, and I'm raging waters.

Yeah. It sounds like a US senator.

Water pass the law. Say the word rate, raging, raging, raging, raging? Am I giving the wrong emphasis?

You're saying you're staging.

You're saying all the one continuous.

It's not one word. It's not rage motors.

Wait, no, seriously, just say I just don't think about it, say it ragi. Why are you so like, why are you like so.

Nail, You're a stupid rage rage?

How should I say raging just saying because I'm because I'm saying raygiene.

Yes, that's exactly exactly right.

Okay, so regiing raging broke.

He's so nervous.

Can we get a spotlight on this motherfucker to say two words together?

Your voice cracked, said, I'm saying it right.

He's gonna craw.

This is supposed to be a special moment for me. I wanted to eulogize raging waters. You're not letting me.

Well, I think you said it okay that time, and that was fine. I think you nailed it that.

It's kind of a bummer because I don't know if in northern California there was kind of a trifecta of water slide places. I would say water slide parks.

Okay, what's white waters?

Like nobody says water slide places first, people say parks.

Nobody says, and raging waters was kind of like what you want, regime waters. It was kind of like upper echelon, like the goal, like this is the best?

Did they have like a cyclone?

They had it all and they had they had and they had the best commercials. They like they would. I feel like they would always flip like songs like maybe actually maybe this is Santa Cruz Beach boardwalk. I'm gonna confused.

Now, you know, Santa Cruz fucking rock star. But there's no water slides, there ranging waters.

You got where Santa Cruz at?

Oh it is, Oh, there's probably Monterey people came in. You got people here too, Any Monterey folks seems like.

More than San Jose.

How many people are gonna come to our Oakland show as well? How many people were gonna go there and then aren't next time?

Just Santa Cruz. Santa Cruz.

The San Cruz has the best merch.

I just want to say that.

Yeah, well they're the banana slugs.

But just like the Fonts game, I thought Santa Cruz was San Jose until I got here, so oh nice, I was, hey, hey, suck my I don't give a.

Whoa whoa, Hey, that's not what he says. Not the st stay don't don't.

You can't say suck my cock. They're not children.

Okay, okay, So there was raging waters.

So raging waters, yes, Senator, there is Mantica water Antika Water.

Give it up.

Mantika Waters sounds like the cousin Mantika water slide.

And what is Mantica is that like a Native American.

Mantica is another place. It's another water.

Slide actually, and I'm sorry, San Jose, but Mantica was kind of kind of fire dude.

Well, that's why I was tripping on when you said Raging Waters was the crown Jewel.

I'm like, no, it's not Mantika.

I'm in San Jose, so I'm gonna say rage. But Ragel Waters was like corporate, like the real deal, Mantika corporate.

Well, Blake, just know that we are recording these podcasts and people elsewhere are gonna listen and no one gives a fuck about.

Well, I encourage all the listeners and I'm speaking to the listeners.

I'm kids, i just stop them.

The water slide wars of Northern California should be studied because it is interesting. The water park Stanford Well, and then of course the newcomer to water slides was, of course our hometown. Can everybody say water works.

And you guys say that, I'm gonna I'm gonna early take back that I just did say let's.

Go from water World because that felt weird.

Yeah, I mean that is based after the nineteen ninety five film water World.

It was not, and I remember being a little disappointed in that fact.

I thought it was going to be themed.

Like a dystopian future when there's no land.

There is no But I remember being out of my brother right there. We thought it was We thought it was fun.

It was going to be Jack Black on a jet ski.

And Dennis Hoppers smote.

Yeah, yeah, that's a triple horn, almost nude. Really, nobody knows what I'm talking about. But she was the female lead, beautiful woman, great actress.

Oh yeah, okay, okay, I remember the scenes.

I can remember some Beverly Hills one time and I said, wow out loud, what city?

Wow?

Yeah?

What what city?

Was?

Marine World Africa, USA. I've actually always wanted to make the reference because I wear this stupid microphone and I feel like I work at Marine World Africa, USA. And They're like, and up next, we have a fourteen month year old.

Yeah, I bet that go go, I bet they Oh dude, you're killing it. It's a fourteen month year old.

We are fourteen more months old.

Pup from the Alaska area.

But I thought it was world.

I thought a World Africa.

I thought it was Africa, four year old Africa USA. It's all the things. Oh, it's like and he's fourteen year old? And why don't you come up and say hi, Lieutenant Dan. I don't know what they were.

Wait, I thought I thought it was fourteen month year old old.

And then they and then they get in the water and they'd be like on the whale and be like yeah.

I mean we got to get back there.

I honestly don't care how many people get eaten doing that stuff because it's so good.

But literally, every time I wear this mic, all I think about is Marine World Africa USA. It's called Marine World Africa USA.

It used to be called that. I don't think it's called that anymore. It's just taken over by roller coasters.

So no, what I just said, I don't understand the name.

Where is this locan?

Okay, am, I is it? Falo? I know that?

Okay, here's me.

And so now it's not called out because it was taken over by roller coasters. Yes, yeah, okay, it sounds weird, But are these like these roller coasters nowhere South American roller coasters. Are these like Antiarctican?

They were They're fucking six Flags roll They're from six Flags. Six Flags came in and took over half the part.

Doesn't six flags have like a dark background?

Right?

What does yeah?

Six flags like meant some ship back in the day. What does that even mean?

I don't know, but wikipedia that ship.

I'm pretty sure it's like my power really for real?

I think so right, it's like Texas High six Flags.

Well the bar, it seems real. Wait, I got a question about the water flags.

Quick question, quick question about the water park white power.

But like that's a while that I did any remember when water parks started using like the little things that you had to lay on.

Yes, the mass okay, man, I'm not I don't do that. Mantica did that mask?

But mad you ended up going faster, which is kind of dope.

No, but you also what was cool is you also got ringworm from them.

That was I never Okay.

All I know is I would go. I would arch my entire body so I would just be on my back and my heels smart and I would fucking move.

Oh yeah, but then you hit the scene. I got the scenes. That's not that's part. That's the price you pay for speed.

He's got his shoulder blades and all that. That's cool.

And the children, how beautiful are the children?

If you could rank the children beauty wise at East.

I would say Raging Waters had the honest children, and they're all here today. They've grown up into beautiful adults.

And then also like at a certain point, too many lawsuits happened, so they introduced that like the ship you had to walk on.

We're by like two hours into your day. Your feet are on fire. And then you'd see the pros who have like the season.

Pass with the aqua sox on water socks. Dude, But but then how do you get on your heels with those? So it's it's very delicate.

You have to hear a mat.

I remember going down you see a mat that was just like somebody had lost and it's stuck to the side, and then you try and grab it.

And that's what I would do if.

You had to like pay for the MAT's extra or what.

I don't understand.

You'd see a mats stuck to the wall.

Yeah, because people would just like it would stick because you.

But don't they just give you a mat? Like, why do you why are you stealing?

This was a fun thing for me to do. As I was going down, I would be like, oh, there's a mat right there, rabbit, which makes what about the mat that you had in your hand? I still had it. I could come out of the two with two mats.

Dude, multiple mats, so you're going slower.

Did you have to carry your mat at?

Were you given a mat at the top?

I think you turned them in at the bottom and then you were given one at the top. Okay, I don't think you carried it in line.

So you thought it was cool to be like, dude, I'm not even gonna have to wait for a mat.

I got one right.

These are raging water kids. They didn't even need mats. They don't even fucking know. Dude, in Mantica, you had to have mats, So fuck Mantica. Dude, Okay, now that I'm talking about it, Mantica was fucking stupid, raging waters for life.

Don't don't name, but I'm I'm a water World boy man.

Thank you.

Yeah, I conquered. Water World is the best season past. I should get to see some pass.

Now, Uh, did you guys?

Ever?

I know this didn't happen to Durst. But did you guys ever almost die at a water park or you mean us some time jumped off of I couldn't swim yet that man, I was.

No.

I was little again, and I couldn't swim quite yet. I was like, I like, couldn't you know? I was like probably six five and I couldn't really swim that well, okay.

That's what I was, sir. Could you swim when you were six or five?

Yeah? I was on it.

I was on a team at five.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm built.

I'm built like a bowling ball.

You know.

I wasn't.

I wasn't built for the water.

I qualified for Why States at five, then transferred to USA Swimming affiliated team and uh j o's were just not a big deal.

Wow.

And so I was like, I'm going to jump off the high dive, but get close enough to the edge that I'll be able to get out.

This is a water park or this is a.

I was like, I'm going to leap off the side because I thought like jumping off high things into something that you're not gonna hurt yourself in sounds fun.

That does sound really fun.

Yes, But then I couldn't get to the side, so I just like kind of sunk down because I wouldn't didn't even float. I just remember laying down there and then thinking like.

This is how I'm gonna die, right perfect.

But then the movie Sandlot was out, so I was like, is is whatever named Peppercorn, Sandy Peppercorn gonna be pant with her beautiful blonde hair, blue eyes, big titties, save my ass?

Yeah, to get kissed?

So who saved you?

Some ugly guy named Clark, Adam Adams Ghost, just his bro named Clark, and he was like, he was like, don't fucking ever do that.

I do love the idea that he deals with this constantly. After Sandlot came out, He's like.

Look, dude, just no hot dead I'm not kissing you. I don't want to kiss you.

We got another dude trying to get kissed.

And then I remember telling my mom that I wish I was saved by the girl from Sandlot, and she felt so bad for me. She got me a kit cat because I was a fat kid.

Right, Adam, you'll force.

A woman to kiss you someday.

Here's a kit cat in the meantime. That's right, So do you have like a weird thing with kit cats?

Now?

Yeah?

No, oh like yes, yes, well I don't. I mean, no, I don't break that's a weird thing.

I just like I could kiss this woman and it's not a weird thing.

It's a kiss cat bar, right, it's not a weird thing.

I just like to freeze them and shove them up my ass.

That is actually I mean. I was about to say, like kit cats are probably the best frozen treat to shove up your ass. But oh, this is good.

This is good.

This is good.

Every candy bar is better than a kit cat chocolate covered banana. I would take a Babe Ruth up my ass so fast.

You know what you're joking?

Mom just ran Yeah, But.

You know how, like they say, like Snickers kind of have like a cock vane on them.

Ye know what you're talking about?

You know what?

Yeah?

I don't know.

Do we know how? They say that?

Look at the Snickers when you get home? It was just Halloween, I wrap the mother. But it has something that's weird about it.

I do like that someone in here has had a baby Ruth in their ass and they're super quiet right now.

They're like these guys are crazy.

We should ask our doctor. She's standing up. She's like, I've seen it all. It's actually good.

Free and ages, henuts dissolving d.

Just don't put a strip down your tick hole in what you do? Should we do some hot topics?

Okay?

Sure? Wait is it?

Here's a here's the thing.

Are shrimp pink because they eat something pink?

Right? I think so.

Flamingo are pink because they eat shrimp? Is that that?

World?

U s A?

Is that real? Yes?

That is I knew there was something.

Wow, what's cool is that?

I said, our shrimp pink? And she's like, and that is trimp.

Because in Charleston there are flamingos and they're gray and they're like white until I saw one and it was just like pink as fuck with all the white ones. And I'm like, look, he made friends with all these other birds, right, this is a multi racial from Mingo gay.

Yeah, white whites and pinks.

Wait, but what if there are there no shrimp there? Why was one of it? Was one of them eating all the shrimp or more shrimp than the others. He's amazing shrimp. I don't know what's the word clankton No, no, like a shrimp school.

No, like, he's the guy who like hoards them all.

A shrimp port.

Are we still here?

Yeah?

Like, are San Jose Police honored for solving one percent of their homicide cases in twenty twenty two. Whoo and they obviously rest in peace to the people. And if anyone's here affiliate with these murders, we're not joking about them. We're stoked for you guys. No, we're honoring them.

Yeah.

A total of thirty six homicides were as salved. This is actually fucking incredible.

Dude.

Yeah, that's unreal because in La you go like, yo, this person was murdered, Like, oh yeah, cool.

Right they found him in a bucket.

Oh yeah. No, you're like, oh yeah, you're like, dude, my neighbor was just murdered.

They're like, oh yeah, were they murdered?

No, like I saw them. They were stabbed at death in front of me.

Oh was it scary?

They didn't not a gun, was it a knife for a gun?

Neither?

It was an accident.

Shining.

Oh, it's like movies. So that seems scary, you fucking bitch.

I gotta go get to my audition.

So here's Here's what I'm wondering. How bad are these murderers.

Get are the cops good or are the murderers just like, oh fuck, all these people just watched me.

Kill this lady, right, San Jose murderers are notoriously bad murderers. Right, It's just they're covered in blood and they're like, I don't know who did it. There's no way to tell officer now.

Their their main answer is not, uh, did you do it?

No, huh, we know you did. You're holding an astra covered of blood. So even before this achievement of their solve rate, which is a cool thing to say, their solve rate was between eighty and ninety percent.

Whoa okayan jo.

Yeah, both the lowest homicide rate per capita among the nation's fifty largest cities.

Nice cool, interesting, cool story. Hit me, hit me with your Oh yeah, hold on, let me get back there.

Now, let's mind something for some commay here.

Robert Kardashian, which he was O. J. Simpsons lawyer, Is that right? Yeah?

I don't know. I think that was it.

Yep, Yeah, Robert Robert. His name is Robert Robert.

That's a lame name.

Robert is the name of it.

Should it should be Bobby.

Well, wait, could be Bob.

I don't know him, though, it might.

Have been friend your name, his official name is is Robert.

It should be Bobby Kardashian.

But when you get to know Blake, when you get to Noah, Robert, that's when you get to call.

My uncle Bob was always uncle Bob.

Okay.

And when when my mom, Hi, Mom, and what he or she's not here? When my mom told me my uncle's name was Robert, I was like, what the fuck?

Dude?

Yeah, it's like.

When Uncle Bob's name is Robert.

No, I dislike the name Robert. We were gonna name our child Robert, but I guess not.

No. Wait, so what's fun about Robert is you've got Bob, you got Bobby, We've got Rob, you got Robbie, You've got Robbie.

You've got Bert if you want.

It, I know there. Bert's a fucking sick ass name.

You got Bert if you want it.

Wait, it's pretty it's are you stupid? It's pretty cool to fucking dope a name.

Wait? Are you saying that every Bert that I've ever met, which is none?

We were just On's like cooking show days ago and also like you just referenced Burt too.

Yeah, I've never met him, and you know Kermit and Kermit knows Bert and Ernie.

Were talking about the fuck up.

Okay, what's your genius point.

You're saying that every Bert is Robert.

I think it's either.

I don't think every I think I don't.

Think Bert is short for Robert because it's b U r T.

I yes, it is Camby.

If Kser is br.

That's why I don't count him. That's why I didn't.

His name is your world.

He just doesn't exist.

Okay, all right, come on, it's either just read the story.

I'm just saying, it's all the options. It's a cool name.

So Bobby Cardiff, I like, this guy wanted to marry Priscilla Presley didn't until she cooked for him. Yeah, evidently Chris Jenner was a better cook than than Priscilla Pressley.

What do you think Chris Jenner is? Like go to like best dish is trim?

You said.

Daughters serve.

I feel like that is what happened. She said water, but or he said water but then I try to make a joke.

Out of it.

No, Daughters was really good, and guess what you get.

Yeah, so, I mean this is a dumb story. Evidently they went on a date and she cooked him asparagus and he was like.

Fucking yuck. Well come on, that's a tough meal.

Yikes. Well, I mean, yeah, that is a weird first date. Like, come over to my house. I'm gonna make something that's gonna make your piss smell horrific, which, by.

The way, is fucking immediate. Like when you does that happen when you gonna have a spirit.

I don't know if it's the media, but it is fun to wonder how long it takes for you.

I feel like if I'm a restaurant doctor, I feel like, if I'm at a restaurant.

Spells already as soon as you see it, your pissed spells.

It's within too many words trying together there. But yeah, sorry, my bad.

What we got some Oh we're on here. We're give us some Q and as.

You guys.

Everybody like you guys.

We just gave us some hot cues and we got some sweet as for you, I'm getting radical and we're not talking about our brother Sophia ge She asked, what is your best memory in the bay and I'll start off here. Look at this guy who's getting helped out.

Damn that is getting helped don't spot.

I like your style. I like this guy's style.

Had to be taken out.

I do like that we think he's drunk. He actually just got hit by buzzball.

Best memory is that what she said? Best memory?

I would say my favorite memory was when we did Thanksgiving at your house and we used to do like weigh ins. Oh yeah, and I weighed in like at the beginning of Thanksgiving, and then we did like three dinners, right.

Yeah, like because we would do like a friends giving, then another friends giving, then like Blake's house, then fucking four places.

My mom's got stove top at six and.

From the beginning to the end, like eleven pounds.

Yeah, it was a massive increase. Well done, dude, that's a Thanksgiving for That.

Was my My favorite memory in the bay was how fat I got there Thanksgiving.

That's a good man and yeah, that's a good mom. I like that mem too. Mine is when my daughter was born here. Okay, that's very real.

And beautiful beautiful, not your.

Son or what's up. My son was born in Los Angeles. Yeah, so I can do that I I knew that, So yeah, yeah you.

Did, durs.

Do you have a Bay Area memory you're looking at it?

Oh right, that this has weirdly been the tour of places I've swam and I haven't. I haven't done swim meet here.

Really no memories.

I have a lot of great memories, a little too many I've seen Like I was there when Jason insreen Housen threw the last pitch for the eight, like we struck that dude out, and then and then I was here when the Warriors won the championship. A lot of great stuff, A lot of great stuff.

Party with Kay Thompson, after.

Partying with Klay Thompson, with my little brother.

You got to say how it happened though, Okay, so this is fucking good and this is when the hair comes in handy, not when it's next to me at the airport.

The Warriors had just won the championship in what was it like to yeah, it's the it's the No, it wasn't. Is a bagel Knight. It was not is a bagel Knight? I will because I was here in the Bay and they had won the championship. I was in the car with my brother and cousin feet he's a rapper. He's like, uh sick witted records or whatever. We went to this club, okay, the It was the official after party for the Warriors. They just won the championship, and might I keep saying that over and over again.

Yeah, we know, we know they went a lot of championship.

I told my brother to stay stay close, but he kind of like lagged behind, and the the the bouncer knew me let me in, and like as soon as I look back, my brother was not there. He was on the outside and I'm like, oh fuck. And they're like, can I get my brother? And he's like it's not happening, dude.

It's like this is the this his hair short. And I was like, fuck his hair, definite brother. So I went in.

I'm kicking it. Two shorts there, forty's there, Jabelle McKee's there. Everybody is awaiting the Warrior's arrival. And I'm like, but I don't have my little brother. I can't.

Yeah, I can't.

It's my brother. I can't leave my brother behind. So I'm like I tell I tell too short, Sorry, dude, I gotta leave. I gotta go get my brother. He's like, I don't give a fuck, but okay.

I was like, who are you?

So I go outside.

There's my brother waiting. I'm like, god, damn it, dude, we're we're missing the greatest party of our lives. Let's go around the corner. I'm gonna call an uber fuck this. We we go around the corner, we take a right, we're walking down. I'm like, you know, just sad, and all of a sudden I hear Blake like, turn around. There's this big black suv.

Yeah that's fine. I okay, okay, okay.

I got a little riled up.

There for a second.

And the window is rolled down and none other than fucking Clay Thompson is hanging out the window and he's like, Blake, get in. And I'm like, and my brother looks at me. It's just like Jiz and blood and tie. He's like, oh god, I'm like, but not your brother. No. We ended up getting me and my brother get into Clay's s u V. It's like smelled, dude, feel the hat like like feel the hat is still a champagne on it. I'm like, it does it smells like pain?

It really does.

This is real.

The back of the club, like we wait with the team. It's like Steve Kerr is everybody. We walk into the club with the team with my brother. It was the fucking best.

Not I'm unreal that sounds dope.

It was very dope.

It was very dope. I love that win story.

When we drove home in the uber, my brother looked at me and said, I think this was the best day of my life, and I'm like, awesome, dude, me too.

That's dope.

Yeah, it was very sick, very sick. Shout out to AJ.

Shout out man the young go hard.

He'll be in Oakland, come meet him.

So Marissa Ryan wants to know what makes you nervous?

Ooh, what makes you nervous? I've often wondered this about you. Does anything make you nervous?

Ye, Adam, because I feel like I have nerves for everything, and anytime I come to you, you're like, fucking.

Who cares everything? That's fucking crowd.

Yeah, okay, Like, do you have anything.

That makes you nervous, mister forty year old wise guy? Yeah?

I don't.

I mean no, see it's but.

There has to be something.

Yeah, there has to be Yeah, come back to me.

There's something for sure.

Every I'm a scaredy cat. I get nervous, Like, yeah, Blake's pretty easy. We did like Shark Week.

I didn't even sharks.

That ship was scary. I don't like airplanes. I get nervous there, me too, dude, me too. Surprisingly, this kind of ship doesn't bug me. But that's probably just shit buzz balls.

Well, and we've been performing professionally and for like fifteen years.

So still you could still get nervous.

Hello, Yeah, I don't know.

I feel like spending my entire childhood in a speedo, you just kind of end up built to be embarrassed or not to be embarrassed, you know.

Slip at the tongue.

I might get nervous, like right before going out, and I remember I did, uh like I host I presented at the Emmys and like did like this big song and dance and then like right before going out, being like my heart was a little bit of a flutter. And then I looked at myself in this reflective like it was like a poster, and I just looked at myself and I go, you bitch, yeah, And I just went on, what are you Kyle? I always bitch? I always just go like, don't be a Kyle and then like that makes sense right into it.

I have too many nerves.

I need to why why?

I don't know. I couldn't tell you.

I mean, I guess it's like fear of the worst case scenario or something, you know what I mean, if you want to get real.

Yeah, but then what is the worst case scenario? You ship your pants and and Michael Douglas is in the crowd and he just goes no, And you're like, Michael Douglas has screamed no at me. We were at the Emmys. Catherine Sanda Jones just pukes. He sees me, and then you go, that's a pretty fun story to tell on your deathbed.

Yeah, you're right. Anything that's like worst case is funny.

After enough time, Adam just goes, how's this situation to play on my deathbed?

And then he's good. Uh So, Steven m wants to know if you were on the game show, what would you do? And Mark Summers asked, you, guys, what, oh, doubledare.

No, it's what what what would you do? I don't know what?

What? What?

And the fucking eyeball is like and they're like you gotta go on the pie Coaster and then it was the lamest ride and you would just like go through Like is that that? It was a pie chair that had like there was it was every week with something different, Pie Chair, pie Coaster, the pie Coaster.

No one was born when the show was I know.

What would be your secret talent?

Oh? Is that what this was about? Like?

Give you like your secret? I feel like for us, most of our secret talents we're on display. We've used them a lot.

Yeah, or lack of talent?

All right, that's the secret. I feel like.

I feel like back in the day, if you would have asked me, if you if like, what could you do?

I'd probably just try fart with my hand on my arm.

Let's hear it.

Yeah, this is something my mom taught me how to do.

Man, let's hear it, dude.

Okay, here we go. Let's see if you still got it.

Arm and hammer.

Kyle that great kind of hear it? It didn't really Maybe he has to take a shirt off to really get in there. No, this is really hard. Actually that was embarrassing your talents?

Bro?

What am I doing wrong?

I know it's gotta be the odor in it.

It, bro, that's embarrassing.

I could push for an incredibly long When I met Adam, I marveled at how long he would.

Urinate, you know, because we work together and you're on the same you're on the same pattern, and he would just be at the urinal for a very long time.

And then when we would poop together very quick, very fast.

This is before smartphones, when you would kind of take a moment in and out lines right out of there.

It's true, you.

Know what, I guess I have my like arm thing.

Oh yeah, show us got to take his shirt off. Take your shirt like we have to?

Yeah, one mic right here?

Yeah, I gotcha.

Okay, wait a minute.

With this one.

This is so weak.

We have no talents. I gotta hear it.

I hear it. I hear it.

To dude, we would have been the worst of what would you do?

By the way, it kind of made a smacky noise, so that was cool.

That's like a what do you got, dude, I'm not about I'm about to say I can do something and then not.

You have to take your shirt off? No, I've got yeah, maybe if I took it off. Guys, I'll say that these questions here in San Jose historically bad. This this one just goes Have you ever been whitewater rafting?

Oh?

I have, Yeah, I have. That's a great question.

I have. Ye yeah, quick quick story.

Yeah, I went when I was I guess six in Colorado and they were like you gotta be eight. And my dad's like, well, he's pretty tall. I mean he's probably he's probably as tall as an eight year old. And they were like, look, you can bring him on if you want, but like it's at your risk. And my dad's like, okay, cool, because we don't want to just leave.

We can't just leave it. He's like, yeah, the whole fam this one dies.

Whole family wants to go.

He can swim.

So I'm sitting on my dad's lap and we hit our first class whatever rapid okay, and I just fucking go to and slip right down to the bottom of the boat. And then my dad just goes and like pins me down between his legs for the rest of the entire ride. And I'm like, but essentially below like the outside of the boat, just like I'm sure it's beautiful.

I can't see my dad's balls.

Dude.

I love when parents like truly like your safety was such like a secondary concern, right, Like I remember my dad took me hunting. I'm like eleven. The shotguns bigger than I am. Okay, I shot. He puts me in the back of our truck. It's icy, and he goes, we'll just drive around till you see a bird. So I'm just shivering in the back of this truck.

Shot.

My dad stops because we see a bird. I shoot, The birds fly away. I miss, and my dad goes, we'll can't.

Chug to him?

He gunsn't.

I slide, hit the back tailgate, flip out of the truck with a loaded shotgun, and then my dad just kept.

Driving like half a mile later until he just seizes, like eleven year old in snow pants. Really, the birds, the birds are like, oh Jesus, they're back. Watch this. You gotta see this. I mean a lot of heavy hitting questions here, guys. This one just goes how many scores are toilet paper? Do you, guys use when you're wiping your ass?

You know what? I feel like?

This is like we've this is the monster we've created.

Yeah, I like the the Whitewater Rapids. That was a great question.

Yeah, it was a great question. Who counts this? Who counts the squares?

Who's the one counting squares? You count the squares?

I tell my kids for some I tell my kids four squares.

Can you tell your dudes?

Actually that's probably you've never gone into the bathroom after your kids and then you just see like nine.

Eat of toilet paper, yeah, still connected.

To the thing, and there are whiting their ass looking up like what This isn't how you do it? The cause of Okay, so it's gonna be.

Four and then you tear four and then you tear, rinse and repeat.

That's not how I do it at all. I go thirty six squares, just a fucking massive ball. You're like, and you do you and then you grab it and you pull it out?

Yeah right, oh yeah, when you shove thirty six squares up your ass and then you pull it out, really, I know that that's called the rough Punzel method.

Yeah, you guys know I was joking about the four squares.

Yeah, we know.

I don't even have kids. Any any takebacks, any apologies, any epic giveaways here?

Huh?

Yeah?

You know what I would like to take back when I'm trying to fight you guys. Okay, I really love you guys. I'm having a great time here in San Jose, so just know that there was a huge part of me that right when I said that, I wanted to say Santa Cruz just so you guys would be like you that's just me being an asshole, and that's where I am. But no, I'm having a great time. So sorry. I tried to find you guys. That's a good one. That's a really good one.

I want to you know, I want to take back that I said, like Raging Regime. Regime, you know, Regie, it's the best, It's the best water park ever in existence. And Mantica and water World don't even hold up.

Freaking does it have a straight down slide?

Bro, it doesn't have anything anymore because r I p dude, so I guess it's not anywhere. So I would I would like to take back them closing Raging Waters. That fucking sucks.

Yes, that's I think you're you're you're we're exploiting take backs and ways that I don't get some of that bad that's that's undue.

I want to undo the closing of Raging Waters, Like if you had one wish that would be it if I had one wish like Ray j Yeah, let me give you.

A couple of I want to shout out to raycon headphones. I got them take backs. You guys are great. I feel like I didn't cross any lines.

Santose.

I'm sorry if anybody goes to this doctor. But we do have some epic giveaways in my epic. I mean sure, so let's bring up some houselights a little bit.

Mom. Are you here?

Mom?

I see Andrew? Where where's Andrew takes here?

She did come?

I loved your mom.

Teddy here heck yeah, thank you so much, San Jose.

We had a blast.

There was a let a home camp show.

What a precident.

You guys kind. Thank you guys, Thank you, we love you Sandless.

Another episode, Yes, yes, Sam, thank you guys.

Wonderful

This Is Important

Adam Devine, Anders Holm, Blake Anderson, and Kyle Newacheck seriously discuss some very important t 
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