Session 127: Your Questions About Therapy Answered

Published Oct 9, 2019, 7:00 AM

The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.

In today's episode I'm answering your questions about therapy, including concerns about your therapist being frustrated with you, what to do if your therapist talks too much about themselves, and how to know if you need a psychiatrist. 

 

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Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session of the Therapy for Black Girl's podcast. Today, we're spending some time in the inbox and I'm answering some of the questions you'll have sent in about therapy. If you have any questions about therapy or situations you like some feedback on, please send them into me at podcasts at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. So let's jump right in. Question number one comes from Shannon, and I've given all of these fake names. Shannon says, I sometimes feel like my therapist gets frustrated with me. It only happens occasionally, but it makes me feel a little down? Is it in my head? What should I do? Thanks so much for your question, Shannon. In this situation and in all situations, i'd encourage you to pay attention to what you're feeling, even if it's not completely accurate. When we're sensing that something is all or that something just doesn't feel right, it's an indication that we need to check in with this person about what is happening. So, in this case, with your therapist, I wonder what you're observing that is leading you to believe that they are frustrated. Whatever it is, i'd encourage you to start the conversation with whatever these observations are. So, for example, you might say, I've noticed that whenever I talk about my relationship with my mom, you roll your eyes or whatever behavior you're observing, and it leaves me feeling like I'm frustrating. You can we talk about this, and then you and your therapist can hopefully have a conversation about what's happening. If your therapist is feeling frustrated, they can share this with you and talk about what's frustrating them and what this might mean in terms of your relationship, or if they're not feeling frustrated. They may be able to help you talk through what you're experiencing in the relationship with them and how it might be connected to experiences outside of the therapy office. For example, maybe you came from a family where what you had to say was quickly dismissed or invalidated, and this now leaves you very sensitive to these feelings as an adult, so you may be sensing that others are frustrated when this isn't really the case. So either way, it's not in your head. But it is important for you to get some clarity about what's happening so that you can continue to feel safe in this relationship. It may not seem like a big deal, as you stated that it doesn't happen often, but anything that undermines your ability to be completely honest with your therapist makes therapy less effective, and you deserve to have your concerns addressed. So I hope that you can have this conversation with them. I hope this helps. Question number two comes from April. April says, my therapist shares too much about her own experiences in therapy. One time, we spent thirty minutes talking about her issues and she said on occasion that she wants to live vicariously through me. What are your thoughts, Hey, April, thanks so much for your question. So this is highly inappropriate behavior and it sounds like it may be time for you to find another therapist. I'm really, really sorry this happened to you. So your therapy time should be spent talking about you and your concerns, not your therapists. Now, there may be times when your therapists may share something about themselves with the goal of strengthening the relationship, are helping you to feel less alone, or some other purpose that is of benefit to you and the therapeutic relationship, But under no circumstance should thirty minutes of a session be spent with a therapist talking about themselves. Your therapists also should not be invested in living vicariously through you. Of course, as your therapists were interested in what's happening in your life in terms of how it impacts the concerns that you brought into therapy, but this shouldn't be done in a voyeuristic way or in a way that makes you feel like we're living through you. So I hope that you'll think more about this relationship and make a decision that is a really good fit for you. And then question number three comes from Tanya. Tanya says, I've been in therapy for a while and recently your friend suggested that I see a psychiatrist as well. How do I know if I need a psychiatrist? This is a great question, Tanya, Thank you so much for sending this in. I'm really glad to hear that you've been able to connect with the therapist. It sounds like you've likely been doing some really good work there. And I'm not sure of the exact circumstances that led your friend to make the suggestion of you seeing a psychiatrist, but here's a little bit of information about working with a psychiatrist. Generally, so one a client maybe has been working with a therapist and maybe seeing some improvement in their symptoms, but the therapist suggests that may be working with a psychiatrist and following a medication regimen as outlined by the psychiatrist would be helpful in them improving. Even more so, the therapist might suggest an appointment with a psychiatrist and maybe even give you some referrals of psychiatrists they've worked with In the past, so that's one of the situations that generally happens. Or sometimes people decide to work with the psychiatrist before even seeing a therapist, or instead of seeing a therapist. So sometimes people have done some research about what's going on with them and feel like talking with the psychiatrist, who may be able to prescribe medication to assist them with their concerns, might be a good fit. There's no rule that you have to see a therapist before you see a psychiatrist or at all. If you think you're interested in trying medication and you want to consult with the psychiatrist, you can just make an appointment with them. The psychiatrist may prescribe medication and will schedule you for a follow up visit, and they might also suggest that you see a therapist in addition to taking any medication they prescribe. The important thing for you to remember here is that in each of these cases, you're the one who gets to make the decisions about your treatment. If your therapist suggests a meeting with the psychiatrist and you're not interested, you can decline. And if your psychiatrists suggests a therapist and you're not interested in that you can decline that as well. It's up to you. I hope this helps Tanya. If you have a question about therapy that you'd like to have answered on a future episode, please remember to send it into me at podcast at Therapy for Black Girls dot com and it just might be answered on a future show. Remember that if you're looking for a therapist in your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into this topic and meet some other sisters in your area, come on over and join us in the Yellow Couch Collective where we take a deeper dive into the topics from the podcast and just about everything else. This month, we are doing a group reading assignment, so we're having a little virtual book club over in YCC and we will be reading the Dance of Intimacy, so that starts next week. So if you're interested in having that and joining us for everything else, come on over and join us at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash y c C. And don't forget to check out our online store where you can grab a copy of our Guided Affirmation track, break Up Journal, or your favorite Therapy for Black Girls T shirts or mugs. You can grab your goodies at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash shop. Thank you all so much for joining me again this week. I look forward to continue in this conversation with you all real soon. Take it care,

Therapy for Black Girls

The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a license 
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