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Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girl's Podcasts, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy Hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. And while I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session fifty seven of the podcast. Today we're gonna be talking about a topic that always garners lots of conversation, dating Today I'm joined by the millennial dating coach more Cuida Johnson. Marquida is a graduate of Mercer University with a Master of Science in Community Counseling and Master of Divinity. She is currently pursuing her doctoral degree in Counselor Education and Supervision. Marquida received her undergraduate degree from Georgia State University in psychology and sociology. She is a licensed professional counselor, a nationally certified counselor and distance credentialed counselor. Her specialties include women's issues, career dating, divorce, step families, and grief counseling. In an effort to promote healthy relationships, Marquida started offering coaching services to help millennials who are dating. While working as a college counselor, she discovered that students were struggling with intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships. Hence, she has embraced the call as Atlanta's millennial dating coach. In this episode, Marqueta and I chatted about some of the common challenges black women having dating, ideas for where to meet new people, how therapy can help you date better, and dating with a mental health diagnosis. If you hear something that really stands out to you, be sure to share it with us on social media by using the hashtag tv G in session. Here's our conversation. Thank you so much for joining us today, Morequita, I am so glad to be here. Dr Joy. Yeah, I was so excited to get you finally on the show because I know that this is going to be a hot topic. Um. You know, in the Thrive tribe, we're always having conversations about like dating and relationships. So I know that the ladies are going to be waiting for this one. Oh yeah, relationship goals. I'm about to help them get their whole lives right. Yes, that's what we want. That's what we want. So let start off on quita. Um, can you tell us maybe some of the So you describe yourself as the millennial dating coach? Correct, Yes, that is me, all right. So we are gonna be looking to you for all things dating and relationship. So I want to hear from you in the work that you've been doing. What are some of the common challenges that you're seeing sisters have related to dating? You know what? Um, I think it's just those things that have always been there, like where to find a man, like where to go to meet them, especially being here in Atlanta, being in a metropolitan city where there's a lot going on. Um, women are finding it difficult to meet the one like they feel like, you know, I'm in a good place in my life, I'm ready, but where are they? Where are the man? Um And and finding someone that desires a serious relationship or even what you want to desire. So finding somebody that matches up And the thing about it is, I believe they're just as many good men that there are good women out here. And the thing about it is they often have a hard time meeting one another. So that's where I come in play, is to kind of help you move out of your own way so that you can be available to receive the one and embrace the one when you meet them, you know, so that that's it, and then knowing when you found the one, so of once you have it's like, Okay, well I met this person, and you know, I feel like we're clicking. I feel like we're vibing, Like, but how do I really know that this is the right one? Like, you know, do I need a sign? You know? Are they are? They tell me? Um, the whole online dating versus in person dating. You know, those are some of the issues that I find that our sisters, um, we have some difficulties when navigating dating. Okay, so you brought up the first issue that I think I hear questions around a lot is where do I meet people? So I'm ready to put myself out there, I'm ready to find somebody serious to date. Where do I go or what do I do to find these people? Okay, So it's not like finding where is waldough. I mean, it shouldn't be that different. You gotta go where the men are. You gotta go to the places where they're and they're around here. I mean, um, I run into them. They are at your gams, there, at the coffee places, there, at the bookstores, there, at the grocery store. I mean. But if you don't get out, you can't expect them to meet you. If you're in the house or you're at work, you know, you have to get out. So change up your routine. Do things different, Do things that you enjoy, Like if you have hobbies, go go along. Don't be afraid to go by yourself to places because you may be surprised on who you bumped into, you know, if you're they're eating, you know, by yourself at the bar or even just you know, I go out oftentimes for myself. I think that's the kind of difficulty, is like putting yourself out there, like really putting yourself out there, going out along to places, and um, you know, just putting yourself in an environment to meet. So yeah, jams, restaurants, networking events, um yeah, those are great places to meet meet man they're out there, and I want to make sure Marqueter that we're being inclusive because of course everybody is not interested in dating men um. So yeah, so just generally speaking, right where you meeting people. There, where you're meeting they're everywhere, they're all over here. Yeah, so wherever you're meeting people, that's right. So what what tips would you have for somebody? Because you mentioned like going to the bar, are going to like restaurants by yourself, and I know a lot of people are going to react to that like, oh I can't do that. That feels very awkward. What tips would you give for somebody to to be able to take those steps to go somewhere by themselves. Well, you first have to be comfortable with yourself. So if you're not comfortable with yourself, you won't really be comfortable in a relationship. So don't wait to get comfortable with um yourself until you get a relationship. So seeing yourself as being valuable even while you're single, UM, I think it's a great asset. People see that as you know, oh, that person that's very confident that they're able to go out by themselves and enjoy their own company and have a good time. So I would say, you know, the first step is just doing it. You know, sometimes it will feel awkward because especially if you're around and there are a lot of couples, but you'll find that there are other people out eating by themselves and that's a good time to strike a converstation. And you know, we missed opportunities by limiting, you know, like oh I can't do that, or I can't meet somebody online, or I can't beat somebody like this, Like you start to limit yourself on your options. So you may be missing out because of the fear or being awkward or being afraid. So don't miss out what's yours? So dude, you mentioned earlier Quita, this whole idea of like getting out of your own week, can you talk about that means yeah, out there, Georg, that could mean a lot, you know. UM, I find with UM coaching and counseling individuals that oftentimes they're in their own way and they are thinking that it's other people. But what I like to tell them is who is the common denominator and all your relationships just think about them, Like, reflect on all your relationships that you've ever had. What's the commonality and them you that's easy. It's you. You're the common denominator in all of your relationships. So you really have to know, um, what do you want, what do you need? What do you desire out of relationship? And how you are in a relationship. You need to be aware of that because if you're not, you can be creating some patterns in your life and not knowing like how to get to what you want and what you deserve out a relationship because it's you that's in a way, So you really have to deal with that, and being in therapy that can really help you move out of your own way so that you can meet the one. So what kinds of things might you need to maybe talk through in therapy to get out of your own way? You know, there there are some things that you can talk about and it just varies on the person or individual. The number one thing that I find this baggage that's just like it just comes up over and over and over and over again. You know, not understanding why your last relationship didn't work. I believe you can't really travel to a new destination carrying around that full bage. You know, it could weigh you down. It gets you to a point where you don't know what to do with it, so you need to do away with it, like you gotta unpack it, though you can't just like throw it away. And then because that baggage has a way of creeping up on you like back once, you think, oh I deal with that, but you really didn't. You just kind of, you know, push it to the side and said, oh, I'm in this new relationships, so things are going to be different, things are gonna be better. Um, um forget. I think there was a guy that that said, um, history, history repeats itself, um, and being careful about getting into a new relationship, thinking that's gonna solve your problems because you'll find out that it comes up over and over again the same things. And I was like, it's not. I don't think so, you know. And then when I start looking and I was like, yes, that is true. You'll start seeing patterns of behavior and you're like, oh, that's why I do that. So really kind of understanding why you do the things you do and why do you react the way that you react within relationships. Okay, yeah, really unpacking that bag it should kind of see what kinds of issues might you be bringing from relationship to relationship and contributing to relationships not working out for you because you have to ask yourself that what is it about me that I'm attracted these type of people too? Not what is it about these people? What is about me? Because I'm obviously attracted it this sort of person to me with these starting and personality or characteristic So who cannot change it? Really changed though, But I can't change me and changing me, I'm going to change the response to me. So I'm gonna start attracting what I want to need when I put myself in a better position, you know, when I'm good, I'm going to start attracting the things that I need to me within relationships. So gant you. So you've talked about online dating a couple of times. So what tips do you have or things that we need to kind of be thinking about if we're gonna be trying online dating. You know, um, it's an interesting thing. But oh, online dating is very interesting because you know, dating has changed, you know from five teen years ago, it's really changed. And oftentimes you're going to meet a person potentially online and if it's something you're open to communicating what you what you're doing there like, um, knowing that everybody has a different agenda there, I'll all that, um going for a buffet or like a main dish. So some people are they're just buffeting it up, like they're just templing, like they're just trying to get their sample on. And uh, you know anything about buffets, you're in a sick or you end up you know, still full when you leave. Like that's the weirdest thing. Like you go, you know, buffet, like you get really full and then you're like sick or it's like m hmm, I don't really feel like I had anything to eat. Um, I had a little bit of everything. So other people are going there with the kind of made of course in mind, like they want to untrade. They know what they're want. They have a purpose in dating, and they're there for that purpose. So you have to determine the people that you potential dates where they stand within that and knowing where you stand within that and communicate what you want to need. But also you know, being okay when a person says like no, like I find that that's a problem when you know you think, um, the total package, you believe that, and you you maybe there will be the total package. And you meet this person and you're like, they should you know, be trying to marry me, trying to put a ring on it, or trying to, you know, say this is my day, this is my book. But they're not, Like what's wrong with them? Why don't they, you know, react to me that way? And I always say, if somebody shows you who they are, like system my Angelo, believe them. If they say they can't give you what you want or need, believe them because they gives you a beautiful opportunity to get what you want or need. Don't try to convince that person that you're the one with them. That is the wrong thing to do because you're setting that relationship. But for you to continuously do that, trying to convince this person that you're worthy of their love, you're worthy of their affection, you're worthy to be with them, And that's an unhealthy way to begin a relationship. That that foundation will not stand in any type of healthy relationship. Yeah, my queen, did you bring up an interesting point, Because something else I think that often comes up is this whole reticence to like even bring up the conversation about like what are we or like even initiating like the conversation about right defining the relationship or you know, are we gonna be exclusive? What kinds of tips might you have around that for people who have some anxiety about like bringing up that conversation. If you don't communicate about it, it's it's the bad start to a relationship. I mean, communication is hinged on healthy relationships. So you want to be very upfront about what you want or you need. Don't settle. You know, if somebody showing you the signs that they don't really want to define it, and any man or woman that wants to be in a relationship with you, they are wanting to define it. Like they're wanting to make sure you know, um, that they're serious about you. There were they want to communicate that to you, that they care about you, they like you. Um. I was kind of reflected on the experience that I had when I was dating someone and you know, this person gave me the keys of their house and all this stuff, Like I never even asked for that, but in in retrospect kind of looking back, like this person wanted me to know they were serious, Like there's nobody else like You're it they so they wouldn't leave a shadow in your mind or any kind of doubt in your mind. They want to let you know, like, these are my intentions and this is what I mean. So if there is some you know, ambiguity about it, then it probably isn't you know, worth it. You want to make sure that you're clear about what this is and other person is clear. So nobody is like walking around in the dark, like you're thinking you're in a relationship with this person is out buffet and their sampling and you you know you're ready for the main course, but they've been out there sampling, so you know they're either pretending like they're fool or you know they don't know what's going on. So I think that's the healthiest way to approach it is communicating you know what are we you know where are we going? That's the whole relationship goals things is in any healthy relationship, you should be continually assessing where you are and where you're going. Anything in life you have goals, you know, whether it's your educational pursuits, business wise, entrepreneurship, whether that's in family and relationships, you have some sort of goals that you're trying to reach financial goals, and you set those goals and you talk about them and you revisit them. Same way relationships, you're gonna talk about them, you're gonna revisit them. You know. It's about being vulnerable with good boundaries though, so knowing that you can be vulnerable but have good boundaries to communicate what you want and what you need our relationships so that both of you can be clear about where you stand and any ideas one created, Like at what point do you have that conversation? You know, it's it's always doing one of those things that you have to gauge, you know, and everybody is different. Some people believe in love at first sight and their love at first sight, you know. Other people need some time to develop. I say, don't rush the process because what people do is they want to skip to the end of that, like they want to be done with dating. They want to move on right to this person is my bed, and um they're like this my girlfriend is my this my fiance, this is my husbands my wife, Like we have a habit of wanting to rush things, like we want it to be to the good part, you know, or to the serious part. But enjoy dating. Have fun with it, Like it's a process, so you don't want to skip to the end, you know, just because you want to get to the seriousness of the relationship. Really enjoy the experience of it, you know. Um, just like when you're cooking something. I use a lot of analogies because a lot of examples, but when you're cooking, like or baking, you don't want to skip out on an ingredient because they might not turn out the way that you want it to. So you want to be very clear about this is the dating phase, you know, and maybe we're not exclusive yet, but this is communicating this is what I'm looking for in a relationship, this is what I want to move towards. And listening for what the other person saying. Don't just you know, assume that they're looking for the same thing. Really listen to what they're saying, and then follow it up by observe what they're doing their actions. You know, if this person is very serious about you, then they're going to show you that, um they're gonna You shouldn't have to hint around to it. They should be there showing up and showing you that, hey, I want to be with you, I want to be in this relationship because you have to nurture the relationship because if you don't nurture it, it will not live, it will not flourish. So something else that I've been asking a lot more quitta um is related to dating with a mental health diagnosis. So how soon in like a dating relationship would you share that information with somebody who you're thinking about maybe being serious with. And that's another thing that you have to gauge because that's very that's something that is vulnerable, you know, showing your vulnerability regarding your mental health diagnosis, and you want to make sure that a person is able to handle that like that they know how to handle that appropriate least. So I would say gauge it by having conversations with the person, like being transparent with them about things. Is it evolved like not on the first date? Definitely, because some people's not, you know, they're not ready to handle that. They don't even know, they may have not even explored their own mental health. So you want to be careful about just sharing it with everybody because then all of your business is out in the streets, you know, So you don't want to do that, just like anything else you want to have that time to UM allow it to be a process. So gauge them and test them out by having some conversations about different things that you feel like that person would have an opinion about, and listen to what they're saying, you know, listen to the conversations that they have so that it gives you an idea of how to approach that person when you know that I want and move to the next level. I think as it gets more serious, you're spending more time together, UM, it's bounded that person may start to see some of your um mental health concerns come out. So you don't want to catch them off by surprise, like if you have a depressive episode and then you know you're sleeping and you're not wanting to be bothered. You don't want them to take it personally internal, you know, kind of take that on it as their own stuff. You want them to know that, hey, this is kind of what's going on with me, and this happens from time to time, and these are some ways that you're getting helped for it. So I think that transparency is key and that vulnerability, because you know, we're afraid in relationships of getting hurt you know so much so that we build up walls, but we want to do boundaries and not walls, because you know, boundaries are flexible. I call them my v I p row you know it lets you know who gives access, excess is granted or excess is not granted. And um, other times with the walls, you know you gotta tear down, you gotta bull those those so it takes more time to get those walls down. But you want to have healthy boundaries and relationships so you don't feel like you're oversharing or undersharing. So you've already mentioned UM, I've heard you say a couple of times, like to make sure you're listening. UM. So it's not only about like asking the questions but also making sure that we're giving space for the answers. You mentioned that, and you've also mentioned UM communication that is really important to be communicating, like your needs and your wants in a relationship. Are there any other mistakes or like things that you see UM sisters making in relationship in relation to dating, Like other things that you see kind of keep coming up that you feel like, oh, you know, we maybe you should be doing a better job around this. I would say settling, So stop it, stop it, stop it, stop settling. You know, UM, you're valuable single, and you're just as valuable when you're in a relationship. So you're how you doesn't come from your relationship status. It's not determined by that. UM. If you know you want something and you know that that's what you deserve, be able to work towards that. Because when you found you settle, you put yourself, you know, out of the running for what you don't want you know in your life, or what you want. Rather in your life, you're settling for what you don't want, and you take yourself out of running for what you want, and you'll find that that may take you off of your trap a little bit of getting to the one. You're spending so much time with the wrong person that you can't get to the right person. So that's what I help with, UM, you don't spend time, you spend less time with the wrong person, so that you can get into the one that's for you, into that right relationship, into that relationship that you want and you desire. UM. Another part of that is your mindset and mentality when dating, Like what type of language do you use when you describe your dame life. Are you always like, oh, it's there are no good men, there no good women out here. Dating it's hard. Um, you know, it's easier to get in a relationship and it's difficult to maintain it. Or everybody's the same. Like if you're so negative about dating and relationships, you have to look at where is that coming from. Um, you have to know that if I'm speaking that kind of stuff into the atmosphere, I'm gonna attract it to me, you know. Um. So really those are two things that come up, and this whole total package thing of you know, I'm the total package and I need someone to kind of match me. And um, I don't think it's anything wrong with that, But sometimes you're looking for the total package, but it's coming in a different package than what you expected. So you start to let your limiting yourself. Um, you're taking yourself out of the running, out of the game of you know, meeting the one because you're so focused on how it's supposed to look and how it's supposed to be that you miss an offer tunitty to really need a great girl or a great guy, a great woman or a great man. And um, I think that's that comes up a lot, So I'm cui do you and your work, um have your clients do things like right down a list of things they're looking for in a partner, Like is that something that you feel like it's helpful when you're thinking about like this whole total package or can that be more harmful? What are your thoughts about that? You know, um, dr joy It can be helpful until it's harmful. You know, if you're so focused on that that again you don't see anything else outside of that, it can be very harmful. UM. I like to call them negotiables and non negotiable, so things that you are willing to deal with, and then there're the deal workers, Like there's some things you can negotiate on. Like some people say, oh, I don't want anybody to have kids, but then they meet somebody and they're like, Okay, you know this is doable. This is something that I can do. So that's kind of a negotiable, Like yeah, you know it was something, but maybe something about not having someone that abuses substances or that's abusive, like that's none negotiable. So healthy relationships and relationships are there in harmony are the goal um, I don't necessarily like I want them to write a list about the other um individual that they're seeking. I want them to write a list about themselves. Because my focus with this whole dating and relationships is to really understand that it starts with you, and the more that you get in tune with that, you will attract what you want to need. But you can't get ready when the person comes, Like you have to be brady, you know, because you're constantly going to be evolving, But you need to be in a space emotionally to embrace the person when they come along. Like you can't say, oh, you know, I'm I'm gonna get this together. I'm gonna get ready when the person comes. Well, no, I want you to already be in a good space to accept them when they come. Um. And that's both for men and women. Got it. So making a list can be helpful, But making a list about yourself is the most helpful. Let's be most helpful because you're working on the issues and concerns that you have, and I think it really just puts you in a good emotional space and you're not focusing on getting something externally like from something else. You're focused internally, and you're often find that when you start to do that, things will start coming to you out of everywhere. You're like what You're like, Oh, wow, I went from zero days to like three days a week, and it's like I went from feeling like there were no potentials for me to like heaven people that I can choose from. Like what I was like, Yes, that can happen. You know, it really can happen. So what suggestions do you have for people who may be feeling a little gunshy about like getting back into um, dady feel after maybe like a breakup or a divorce. Yeah, it can. It can be hard to get back out there in the game when you you know you've been on the sidelines, that maybe you got a little injury. Um, it can be difficult because you're remembering that pain, you're remembering that hurt, and you're carrying that with you. So the best thing to do is to really, you know, if a breakup is causing a lot of distress emotionally, to seek out therapy. Like, that's the best thing that I can advise because again, you'll start to do your own healing, you know, for yourself, so that you're in a better position to accept the next relationship, to be open even to a relationship. Uh. And and enjoying dating like having fun with it. I think so many people are like, it's complicated, it's hard, you know, Uh, it's stressful. I'm like, you know, who wants to be who wants to sign up for that? Nobody? Um, you wanted to be enjoyable. You can make it fun. Um, but again, don't try to you know Russia so much, so like, really enjoy the process of it. Um. I always say, if the person of your dreams, like if you close your eyes and you imagine like perfect date, or you know the person of your dreams and you know, using your five senses, like tell me what you see, tell me what you taste, tell me you know all of that, And really I want the person to get in tune with Oh, these are some things that I enjoy. These are some things that, um, that make it's fun for me. You know, this is the excitement that I look forward to, and I want you to tap into that. And knowing that relationships are not always easy, I don't really think they were designed to be that way. Um. People look at Beyonce and jay z relationship, goals um, Barack Obama and Michelle like, I want to have a relationship like that. But do you know their journey that they had to go through it again? To what you see? You know only what you see. You don't see them behind closed doors. They let those garages to their nice homes, and you know, you don't see the back story. And relationships are work, but they're so worth it, you know, we really at the core of who we are, we need relationships like we desire them, we yearn for them, and it's it's a beautiful thing, like being in a healthy relationship is a beautiful thing. Having somebody else to hold that we're up to you, you hold that we're up to them. It is beautiful, just absolutely amazing how much you can grow um from being a relationship with the right person, but also learning from your past mistakes, you know, of being in relationships with the wrong person um or having the wrong time, and that can be a great lesson to help you kind of build a solid foundation for your next relationship. Yeah, it's often funny how that works out, And of course you can't see it in the immediate after. Man and I could break up or something, right, but you know. It definitely has been my experience and those of my clients. You know that you do learn some of the biggest lessons after something doesn't work out right, like learning more about what kinds of things you do or don't want right and what what went well in the relationship. I think we don't celebrate ourselves enough for the successes that we have in relationships because it's some hard work. I mean, I don't know an easy one. If you find an easy relationship, tell me about it. You know, the one you have with your family. Then when you have with your children, your significant other, your coworkers, your best friends, they all have some complexity, some issues, some something has happened. Any deep meaningful relationships, something has happened. Um, I have a best friend of over a decade and we have a great relationship, but things have happened in the relationship where we've had to adjust who, We've had to communicate, we had to have tough conversations. But it's well worth it, you know, So don't think like that it's always want to be like an easy button, because it's not. But it needs to be healthy and in harmony. So that's what I focus on, is healthy and harmony. So what are some of your favorite resources related to dating, Marquita, Well, I have a lot of good ones, a lot of colleagues that, um work a lot in actually relationships, not so much dating. I gotta get my dating people up because that's why I deal with it, because it's the foundation of relationships. So if you want to go back to where the problems that issue start, usually they were there in dating, you know, and they just kind of worked on up to relationships. So UM, I have a Urine Luck date planning services that helps you like planning dates and do like creative dates here. Um it's based in Atlanta, but they can help you with all kind of dating. And um Shade Middle Class Matchmaker helps with dating and relationship actually matches you. You know. It has a lot of great events, real relationships scientists Simmons. He is amazing. He talks about all of this from pheromones to all kinds of things that go on at a scientific level about dating and relationships and courting. So yeah, those are some great things. And um, once you moved from dating, because I hope with dating and relationships. But I have another powerhouse that's out in California, Kiandra. She helps with relationships and so yeah, those are some of the resources that I utilize and my go toos that I like to um lean on in any books, any books or podcasts or anything that you really like that you know, you feel like give good examples, are good information about dating and relationships, you know what. Besides Therapy for Black Girl, that's one of my favorites that I listened to often. There are a few, but not any specifically that I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, definitely listened to those, So we'll have to keep an eye out for that. I'm working on a book, um so that should be out soon. I'm putting myself on the deadline because I really want to help those with dating and relationships. I love if I love languages, that's always a good go to when you're starting out, um in relationships to learn more about yourself. Uh and the hard and soft sides of love that's always a good one too that I recommend. So yeah, those are some books I gotta step up on the podcast. So do you have any events or anything coming up that you want to share information about. Absolutely. First all, I want to thank you so much for having me on. It's been a pleasure. I've enjoyed this. Um, I'm speaking all over about dating and relationships, so I would love for you all to join it at my next event and UM, you could follow me on Instagram, Facebook at Millennial Dating Coach and on Twitter at Dating Coach a t L for the latest. UM, I love to share some dating tibts, jewels and empowering messages to help you with your dating life and get it ignited. For two eighteen, UM, I'm having the cakes and Conversations partner with Kelly's Cakes, and it's on Saturday, May the nineteenth. UM. It'll be in Atlanta, so you'll get to decorate your very own cakes. So if you've always had a dream of you know, being a baker, you watched that with Baker's Wars or those cake balls, then this is your time to have your cake and eat it too. So we're gonna have some juicy conversations led by yours truly, and we'll have some our dirt and some wine. So the tickets are on sale now at event pire. You can go on my website, bring a girlfriend, your sister, friend, your mom, whoever. Uh. Seating is limited. So UM, and I also want to offer a discount to your listeners on my dating coach and services, So definitely, UM, go to my website at Millennial Dating Coach and the co world is like dating? Um, why not throw in my webinar The Key to Ignite your Dating life and for the love of money. Um, those are two free webinars that I will also give your listeners because I'm glad to be here. I'm enjoying it. And what was the code? Did you say again? With Cuida Black Dating? Black Dating? Okay? All right, so I will definitely be sure to include all of that information in the show notes so people can find that. Yes, very cool. All right, Well, thank you so much for joining us to day we Quitter. I appreciate it. I have enjoyed it. Thank you so much for having me dotr Joy. You're welcome. Wasn't that incredible information? Did you pick up any new tips about how to date better? Please let us know by sharing your thoughts about the episode with us on social media and make sure to tag our accounts. You can find us on Twitter at Therapy for the Number four be Girls and on Instagram and Facebook at Therapy for Black Girls, and be sure to check out all the incredible resources that Marquida mentioned at Therapy for Black Girls dot Com slash Session fifty seven. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, visit Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue this conversation and join a community of other sisters who listen to the podcast, join us over in the Thrive tribe at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash tribe. Make sure that you answer the three questions. Thank you all again so much for joining me this week, and I look forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Take gif cap I Actor part I, Octor hot I Hoctor part I oft