Get ready, because class is almost in session. Welcome to the TBG University podcast, tailored for the 20-something who’s packing for a new year on campus, thinking through their gap year, enrolling in a community college, grabbing their stoles for graduation, and everything in between.
The most exciting time of an undergraduate’s school year is almost here ya’ll, and no, we're not talking about Halloween or the end of midterms. It’s almost Homecoming Season! — a time for tailgates, parties, special performances, yard shows, and of course for post-grads, the chance to reconnect with all of your besties from undergrad. When it comes to Homecoming, there’s soooo much to talk about — whether it be the dos and don’ts of networking with alumni, the importance of staying safe when hopping from after party to after party, and even how to afford all of the events that are occurring.
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Our Production Team
Executive Producers: Dennison Bradford & Maya Cole Howard
Producer: Ellice Ellis
Associate Producer: Zariah Taylor
TBG University Host: Jayna Ellis
Get ready because class is almost in session. Welcome to the TVG University podcast, tailored for the twenty something who's packing for a new year on campus, thinking through their gap year, enrolling in a community college, grabbing their souls for graduation, and everything in between. I'm your host and TVGU coordinator Jana Ellis.
Hi, I'm sorry, Taylor. We'll return to Jena right after the break.
The most exciting time of an undergraduate school year is tiar y'all, and no, I'm not talking about Halloween or the in of mint terms.
It's homecoming season, a.
Time for tailgates, parties, special performances, yard shows, and, of course, for postgrads like me, the chance to reconnect with all my besties from undergrad. When it comes to homecoming, there's so much to talk about, whether it be the dues and dunce i'm networking with alumni, the importance of staying safe when hopping from after party to after party, and even how to afford all the events that are occurring.
Joining me today.
To discuss this and more is tbg's associate podcast producer, Zaria Taylor. Let's dive into the third edition of our TBG Girl Chats.
Hey, Zariya, Hey girl, how are you.
I'm doing all right. I'm feeling a little daunted by the fight. Hurricane Helene has gone through my immediate area. My power has gone out, my WiFi has gone out. Ah while I'm going through midterms, so it's a lot going on. And on top of that, this is like way minor. But my hair and my nail appointment got canceled because of the weather, and I was really looking forward to both of them. I was going to wade through the water for that hair like I wanted might not look it's real, real bad. But she taked me. She was like, there's been an ambroillery about floods. You're not going to risk your life for these braids. So I was like, I had to accept it. So, yeah, I'm thinking a little daunted.
But how about you.
I'm doing good.
I'm not experiencing any of that, but I am experiencing a little bit of the rain and wind. But being in the Midwest, the most we deal with is like a tornado, so I don't have to deal with hurricane season anymore. But I appreciate everyone down south fighting the good fight. I hope everyone is safe. I hope everyone has the resources they need because hurricanes are no joke. They're no joke.
But though that list, braids will come.
They will.
But lord, I've been without my hair dup for too long.
I know the feeling.
I know the Yeah, we could have a whole conversation on hair depression, but we're not going to go there today.
Yeah we're not.
But I wanted to check in, like, how is the semester a Spelman going so far?
Yeah?
So, as I mentioned, this week is my mentoring week and it's been a lot on top of the hurricane. And you know what, I was actually really happy. I did a little praise dance when they announced classes were canceled because of the hurricane because I just needed this break to catch up on work and just have a mental health break because the semester has been a lot. I'm only taking four classes, but I'm doing a lot outside of school. I have two jobs, so it's very stressful. So I needed this break. Shout out to Hurricane Helen, because I really needed this time to have my assignments pushback because the work isn't piling up, but I'm surviving. So that's how my semester's going. But how has this season of postgrad life been treating you?
It's been treating me well. Our last girl chat, we talked about just me accepting everything that's coming to me, like me not telling myself no, like all the things that come with the post grad because I feel like again, like when you graduate college or you graduate grad school, it's you versus you. Like it's no more you're peers around you. Unless you're going straight back to school. You don't have that community so close to you anymore. So it's you versus you, and you're the one encouraging yourself every day. That picture of the black woman getting out of her bed is very.
Much I know exactly what you're talking.
Yes, tired, malnourished, that's mentally how I've felt. But I'm really really excited for this new season. And I'm also like starting to pursue my creative endeavors a little bit more and push myself to expand my portfolio. So it's just a lot, a lot, a lot of things going on, but everything that I prayed for, everything that I asked for, and so making sure that I'm remaining humble and grateful and aware of all the things that I wanted and I received, so now it's time to like put in that work.
So I'm excited.
Well, I love that for you.
It sounds like you're stepping into a new season of thriving, of nourishment, and so I'm really excited to to see where you go next.
Thank you, thank you.
But before we get into our main conversation for today, can we do a quick little pop culture rundown?
Catch up? What's on your feed right now?
Yeah?
So I'll say I've been seeing a lot of stuff in relation to the recent VMAs, but honestly, I didn't tune in and I really couldn't care less. Like I say, there was a whole controversy with Tyla and her you know what I'm talking about with Yeah, no board to like Halle a little. I scrolled right past that. I really was like, y'all are making step up, y'all are bored, Like why are we arguing about this?
So I'm just completely tapped out. You know who else?
I keep seeing a lot on my timeline Chappelle Roon. I don't know if I'm saying that girl's name right or not, but I just cannot get into the music.
I'm so sorry. I just can't, and she's.
All over my timeline and I just get into it, and then I'll say, the last thing that's really been on my timeline is the drama between Cardi being Offset, Like I'm over I'm so over it. I don't care. That's really what's been all my time, a bunch of bs. I could not care.
Let's about right, what about you?
And then I want to note, like Offset, that was your wife. Yeah, I want to put that out there, like he tried to like play her. That's his ex wife, that's her ex husband. There's no infans and buts about it. But I also have had so many negative moments, like everything on social media on the low key is negative. If there's any positivity, to just click on the comment section and you're right back at it to like the negative comment.
But I also have been.
Seeing the Tyla and Halle controversy, which all of the gen Z millennial news channels that talk about pop culture were quick to have their think piece on it. Black Twitter was quick to have their think pieces on it. It was just exhausting and at this point with Hollywood and celebrity culture, like I don't know what to believe. I don't know if I believe anything anymore. This is all just entertainment for us to have commentary on, and it's just exhausting. Y'all are drama queens, Like it's too much. But I also did not watch the VMAs because if Beyonce's not performing, then why am I watching it. The VMAs have not been the same since then, so there's no needs for me to engage at all.
Do you have any Halloween plans?
I feel like an old lady now. I just pass out candy to little kids, but it's so much fun, like they're so cute, and kids are just when they're cute, I should say, because I am a love hate relationship with children, But when they're really cute, like innocent and their outfits and they just want some candy and then explaining their outfit, that's always like really fun. So I'm looking forward this year just passing out candy. I never was a type like in college, I went to Halloween parties, but something always happened on Halloween, either rain or I filled a test that was sad like it was just something like always happening for me to never get a real Halloween during college, so I just retired from trying and I just pass out candy now, But what about you.
I might be entering my college party era this Halloween because fun fact, I'm a junior and I've never been to a college party, and people judge.
Me so bad for that.
People are surprised when they hear that, and there are various reasons behind it. But I might be entering my era this year because Michael Rainey junior from the show Power, who plays Threek, He's having a party in Atlanta, and I was like, oh, I might have to I might have to step out to step out.
So I got my little free ticket off event. Right.
We'll see if I end up going or not, but right now, those are my Halloween plans. If I don't do that, I'm gonna just stay in and watch rite scary movies candy.
So yeah, well there's no judgment coming from me. But like, really quick, why haven't you gone to a party in college? What's your take on like party culture? Because I think that's really important to talk about because not everyone parties and are made to feel weird or isolated. And I laugh, but I'm not judging you at all, but I'm curious, like, why haven't you gone to a function.
For me, I am not like a drinker or a smoker. I'm a wall hugger. I'm not going to be out there dancing. And then on top of that, I feel like in our current generation, I've seen too many people get recorded and go viral from going to parties. I just feel like these days you have to be so conscious of what you're doing at a party you can't even let go and have fun. And on top of that, rape culture, having to worry about safety, things of that nature. So those are mainly the reasons I've just never been a part of your period. So let me just say that as well. But I just don't find any incentive.
And I respect that, and I think I totally agree. As a partygoer, I definitely can respect that. And I think that there's a lot of black girls in college who are made to feel bad, Like I said that, they don't want to participate in party culture and all that. But I'm excited for your Halloween. I feel like it's going to be good and we'll see it's gonna be a good party. A free event by a party has me a bit worried, but I'm excited for you.
Excited, just gonna vibe exactly exactly.
So we're here today to discuss all things homecoming. To start, Azaria, can you share for those who may be unfamiliar, what a typical homecoming consists of.
Yeah, so college homecoming is basically just like a huge family reunion or you're having people of all ages who have graduated from this institution that are coming back and basically just having a huge party. They're connecting with people who they haven't seen in years, who are their classmates, and there is tailgating. There is usually a homecoming football game, there is parties. There are usually concerts with different artists and different lineups that they go to. And at my school, Spellhouse, our homecoming consists of, first we have what's called a welcome back jam, so it's like a huge party for the current students, and then after that we have the homecoming game, which is when you do all the tailgating, and Spellhouses are really big. There are all types of activations. There are like brands, they're like they do a lot of up. Yeah, it's like a whole parade essentially, and like people having to and boosts. So usually all of the sororities and fraternities have their own little section and so they're doing their thing. And then, like I said, different brands have their own spot.
They're like the band.
All these different organizations have their own spots for all the alum to come back. And then after the tailgate is usually the concert. So at Spellhouse we have the hip hop concert and then the neo soul concert. And then after the concerts are over, there's usually a stroll or a yard show, and the different fraternities and sororities will compete against each other. Whoever has the best performance wins. And then there's a comedy show, there's a fashion show. So it's a lot going on, all kind of squeeze into one week. But that is how I would describe homecoming. Is there anything I misschaning that you add?
I feel like outside are looking in because I did not graduate from Spelman. To your point, it is a lot going on in the best way possible, Like it's like a festival. Literally, it's like a concert festival, like all your favorite artists are coming, and I mean there is a concert aspect to it, but there's just so many elements to it. So I feel like you touched everything that I can think of on top of my head.
Yeah, let me add as well.
In addition to the concerts themselves, last year we had a performer at the tailgates. Like it's just artists, celebrities are everywhere. There are celebrity alone that are everywhere, Like, yeah, it's just it is a lot going on. So that is essentially what homecoming looks like. And keep in mind, like I'm speaking from the respective of an HBCU student, and so I'm wondering, Jane, for you, because you graduated from a PWI, how the homecoming experience might have looked different from you. And also I'm wondering, have you ever traveled to an HBCU to go to their homecoming?
Yeah, and I'm only speaking for UNC Chapel Hill.
I have no.
Experience traveling to other pwis for homecoming. If I Butcher anything like any tar Hills do not, But like come for me, I seriously, it feels like a fever dream, but specifically for you and C black U and C I should say, I remember my freshman year that was like the best homecoming I would say that I had. And it was like a week of parties. Every night there was a different party, like different themed parties that all black students will go to, and like preparation for homecoming, so you have like your football game, and then black students, we also tailgate the football game, so all the fraternities like have their own tailgates. Our campus is huge, so like it's across campus, so you have to honestly pick the frat you want to stay at for the day, because there's no way you're walking across like campus to get to all the tailgates. But as a freshman, I did. I had anything else to do. I had no car, so I had to row. So the frats had their food and you see like everyone that comes back and it's just like good vibes. And then during that weekend, we either have a step show or a yard show.
It's always like at night.
Typically in the past it was for money, but recent years in the endemic, I guess the step show turned into just a yard show and everyone just performed.
That's where everyone goes to.
Like the girls don't go to the game for real, for real, Like I like to go to the football game, but the football game is really not why you come back for homecoming, Like as a black student, like you come back for the tailgate, and so I feel like that's similar to HBCU culture. Still you're coming back for that tailgate, Like the tailgate is the main thing you want to go back to.
So you can see.
Old alums, new alums, like recent grads, like all that jazz, and get like good food. But honestly, it's very different from an HBCU homecoming. But I feel like the core values of honoring or legacy at your school is still there, especially as a black student, Like that's really important. Community is really important, making connections is really important, and like overall fun and I feel like sometimes it can seem as though it's just vastly different and not enjoyable at all. But as black students, we create our own fun and we curate our own fun, and so it quite literally is a different homecoming than the general campus for a black student. But have I traveled to an HBC homecoming. Yes, In My favorite, favorite favorite HBC homecoming is hands down North Carolina Central University. That is the best homecoming.
I don't care like Central is so much fun.
I have so much respect for all Eagles, Like being a Durham, I love Central and they just have that backyard type of feel for their homecoming. You can get a hot dog, you can get a hamburger. It does not matter where you come from. I came from you and C two Central, and you know, I just was nice and friendly and people did the same back to me. And if you know, two or three people that go to Central are good people parking in their cars and their yards.
It's just a good vibe.
And a very homey vibe. And I always respected that. And I loved Central's homecoming when I went. So that's my favorite one, hands down.
Okay, I might have to pop out.
I haven't traveled to any other ones because I'm still an undergrad, so it makes no sense beween the travel. I want to enjoy the ones that I have right now, but in the future I can see myself going. I really want to go to NCAT because g O, they have such a reputation that I'm like, I need to see what they're talking about.
But yeah, the girls, the girls do have fun there at your homecoming? Like is it overlapping other surrounding schools? Like is it the same weekend? Is that why you can't.
Go or the auc kind of does it altogether gotcha. And I'm not really tapped into the Georgia asps to use no shade, so I don't really know what they're doing. I probably could travel, but it's it's just a lot going on them. It's like, do I really want to do it right? Two in one weekend or whatever.
So yeah, and that's a lot of money too. That's awesome. So then that the girls don't talk about homecoming.
We're gonna get into that.
Okay, yeah, we are, we are so Spellhouse homecoming is an infamous event, Zaria. Can you share any homecoming related memories or experiences you have, good or bad, because the real we'll talk about both.
Yeah, I have stories for both.
For the good, my freshman homecoming was hands down such a great homecoming, like it would go down as one of the greatest homecomings honestly in HBCU history. Okay, I'm putting that out there on the record because we had a surprise appearance from Aubrey Graham himself.
Now listen, this is.
Before he was publicly humiliated by Kendrick Lamar. However, at the time, like it was just crazy because when they were promoting our hip hop concert, they only told us it was going to be twenty one's Avage in Friends, so that doesn't say nothing, right, I don't listen to twenty one I feel like that, But I still went because it was my freshman homecoming, like I want to have the experience. So I'm going in thinking, Okay, twenty one's Avage, maybe a couple of his low label mates or whatever. But I knew at the time he was promoting his album with Drake her Loss, so I'm thinking, okay, can we make some shake since they are both promoting this out at the same time, and a couple people were like theorizing that Drake was going to come, and he did, and it was just like the whole building felt like it was going to collapse. That is the experience I will never forget. Everybody was just so hype. And it's funny because the concert was supposed to end. I want to say, like eleven. We probably weren't out of there until like two am because everybody was late. Of course black people and rappers they're late. And I know there were some people next to me who they had left right before Drake was going to come out, wow, because they were like, I'm over it, I'm not waiting any longer because there was like a period of like an hour where I guess somebody was late, so it was just a DJ playing music.
It's like nobody wants to sit here and hear that.
So a lot of people did leave only for Drake to come out, and I just feel so bad for those people. And then there are people who just stayed home entirely because they thought it was just going to be twenty one savage. But it wasn't even just Drake. We had Ruby Rose come out, Lil Duval, Lil YACHTI came out, Race Drummer came out, Trinidad James came out.
It was just like.
Wow, every single rapper came out. It was just so great. And this is all for my ticket. I spent like twenty dollars on so it was just an amazing experience. All the other events were cool as well, but nothing's topping that Drake literally came around. So yeah, that was like probably my best experience. Bad experience was my last homecoming, which was my sophomore year, because the lineup was absolutely trash. It was absolutely trash. The hip hop concert was a little dark and for which no just no shade, no Shade, Oh Shade, I'm sorry, I'm not paying to go see Little Dirk.
I'm not.
And then our Neo Soul concert, the headliner was Division No, just No. And mind you, they had to make the tickets free for the Neo sol concer because I knew nobody was going to show up. And then from what I heard, because I didn't go, I did not go. But from what I heard from people who went to the Neo Soul concert, people were leaving like mid performance wow, which I feel so bad for the artists to have to experience that. But people were leaving in droves because they didn't want to sit there listen to us. I feel bad, but yeah, the lineup was just trash. So I didn't really participate in homecoming last year, so that would be my bad for overall homecoming for me, it's been in fifty to fifty. I had like an amazing freshman homecoming and then a very terrible sophomore homecoming.
So we'll see what junior year has to bring.
And I'll say, like, I remember seeing that on my Instagram that Drake came just Spilman, and I was sick.
I was.
Like, oh my God, like to be there before he got icky. Y'all were lucky. Yeah, that's amazing.
But I'll say my senior year homecoming has to be my favorite homecoming. I participated in my yard show with my chapter, and that was something that like my sisters and I like prepped four for months and just a lot of like effort and time into that.
And to see our alums.
And to see like our other sisters and friends like supporting us. It felt so good to like reap what we sew. And a lot of people came back that year. I think at you and C, it's a hit or miss if people are going to come back. That's one thing you can take from a PWY homecoming is you don't know if everyone's coming back. I feel like at HBCU, nine times out of ten everyone's coming back. I feel like at you and C, like I'm not going this year because it's not my homecoming like I went last year because I graduated that spring. So I think a lot of us think like that because it's like again, you have to pay for the flight, you have to pay for the fit, you have to pay for the hotel, to pay for the car, pay for all the activities you're doing, and if a lot of your friends aren't going, what's the point of going. Whereas other schools, I feel like, no, you're just gonna go because that's what you do. And me coming back for homecoming was pretty boring. I'm not gonna lie like coming back to campus was pretty mid I didn't like coming back, honestly. I feel like if I came back years later, I feel like it would it had more of an impact on me. But I did enjoy seeing my friends that I hadn't seen in month because I moved to a couple of states over. You know, I got to chop it up with some other alumps see how they're doing. But homecoming also bread a lot of anxiety for me coming back to campus because everyone's trying to like not one up each other, but you're trying to see like what are you doing?
Okay, what am I doing?
And you know what I mean, and being postgride in that when you're still trying to figure out your life was semi intimidating for me.
That makes me think of the fact that I feel like they're is an idea that the older you get, like coming back to homecoming is like lame, Like let go of your glory years kind of vibe, and so I'm curious what you think about that. As somebody who is proscrad and you've mentioned that you're not going to go this year, I'm wondering do you have plans to continue engaging in future years? And do you feel like there is such a thing as being too old for homecoming tee.
That's a good question. I feel like that's a hot topic. I feel like my friends and I talk about this so much about being washed up, and we also have like a fear of being embarrassing. I think for me, I've already established that I don't need to come back to like my campus, and I also want to put it out there. No one's waiting for me to come back. No one's rolling the red carpet out Like I'm not thinking that at all. I never know, you know what I mean, Like I'm not over here, like oh my god, I'm not coming back until no one cares. But I think for me, I'm not going to come back into like my five years of graduating or my lines like fifth year. That's the only time I would consider coming back. And that depends on planning, that depends on life that depends on money. I didn't see me going to homecoming important after the last one I went to, I got my little dispel picks, I put on my fit, I said hi. But my friends and I establish that we can just plan a trip of the friends we wanted to see at homecoming aside from being back in Chapel Hill. And so that's the mindset we're all in is we should be seeing each other so frequently enough throughout the year that we don't feel like we have to go to homecoming. And I feel like throughout the year post homecoming, we made that a priority. Like I saw my friends once a month all year, and if I didn't, it was every other month. And I don't feel like I need to go to homecoming to see them. I can just come back to North Carolina like any time. But I do think at YOUNC like I hate to say this, but there are some people who will come every year like you're never taking you and see from them like you're never gonna take being a guitar heel like they love you and.
See like love it, love and love and love love it.
And I feel like I don't feel that all the way, Like I love my school, but I don't have this crazy pride for my school. I felt like my circle was small enough for me to just travel to my friends when I need to, Like I don't have that connection or tie to my university like that anymore. So I do feel like there is a thing of being washed up. And I feel like for the old heads, it's cute, that's fine. If you graduate in the nineties in the eighties, I'm not taking enough from you. That's a legacy, that's history, Like you walked a pack.
I never had to.
But I feel like the recent grads, like in the twenty tens, we don't.
Have to come every year, Like we do not have to come every single year. But that's just me.
I'll throw it back to you really quick, like, what do you think is there such a thing as being washed up?
Going back to campus?
I feel like this a lot of my interactions with alum as an undergrad during homecoming, A lot of alum really acts like they still run the campus and like they use this time to time travel back into their old cells when they were undergraduates and have the same crew around them and kind of just for I don't want to say pretend, but play this role of like they're still undergrads again and they're like the top dogs on campus, and because they're older than you trying to I don't want to say, boss you around, but just act a certain way that I personally don't appreciate.
I'm just gonna be honest.
During my interactions during tailgate and my freshman year, I had a lot of negative interactions with alum who're just like rude and they feel like because you're younger than them, or because you're still a student over the old heads, so we get to act this way. And sometimes you just gotta let it rock because they lived that fantasy and they have the right to write like they did their time, and they do get a little of respect because the fact that they're older than you, right, I believe that, and so sometimes you gotta let it rock. But I did have a lot of rude interactions, and I think sometimes alum need to consider that this is not your campus anymore, Like this is not your time anymore. Your time has ended, and it's okay to let the new students have their time to soak in this experience, Like I feel like another example is when alum try to get into the concerts and stuff like that, and it's like there's a limited amount of seating, so like, I feel like there should be priority for the students who are experiencing this for the first time. And I'll be honest, I also had experience where I was getting cat called by Oh and I'm just like, well, I thought this was unity, like their family reunion. I thought this was like black magic. I thought we were all in this together. I thought we were a family, and they were just as rude as anybody else had me on the street. So and that's not all of my experiences. I've had great experiences with the Love where they'll put some money in your account. There are a lot of very sweet alum, but there are others who just are very much caught up in the fantasy of being back in school, and for some of them, this was their peak in their life and now they're not necessarily experiencing that same glory, so when they come back, they get like an ego trip. And I understand how I'll let it rock, but yeah, that's my opinion on I'm coming back like just well, like know your role. Hi, I'm sorry, Taylor. We'll return to Jana right after the break.
How can alump specifically make sure they're not stepping on the toes outside of giving space, is there anything else they can do? Because I also feel like homecoming is marketed for alumps. And then when I was a student, people are like, homecoming is not for the students, it's for the alumps, And after graduating, I do agree with that. I do agree with that because y'all are in college. You have the weekly parties, you have the weekly functions. We're in the nine to five world where that's not the norm. And so I'm curious, like what tips would you give for those individuals coming back that want to relive their college days because college was fun and lighthearted and they didn't have to stress about the woes of the world. So like, what would you say as a student, now, you.
Know, yeah to this, that's real, that's real because it's in the name right homecoming, like it's about coming back home. It is marketed towards and I think also a lot of reasons for that is because a lot of colleges use this has the time to try and get more donations when all the alum come back. So yes, partly I do feel like it is for the alum. I think the time for the alum to really go up is the tailgate. Absolutely, hang out with your crew. Obviously yard shows. Yes, they're gonna be front in line because a lot of them are part of these same lines that they're watching and they're supporting whatever everything else. I feel like you should step back a little bit when it comes to trying to mix into things that are like primarily student marketed. I feel like you should back up a little bit. Yeah, and also I feel like all alum should come to home coming ready to open their purse to the students and support the fact that we are still struggling. We're going to tap into the financial aspects of homecoming. I feel like you should come back ready to give some money, support the current student.
I feel like that is geared towards like the big dogs, because I'm I am definitely not opening my pocket any student.
I am still working on me.
Like, respectfully, you cannot if you graduated two to five years, don't expect that.
But if that's five plus years, open up the pockets.
There is like a vision of alum who are just five years out versus the old.
It's a huge difference. There's a huge difference, cause five years out is pushing it as well. But when you get to the eighties, you're not gonna take homecoming from them.
So it's like you have to move around not move around them.
But I feel like you just have to have grace.
Yes, you have to have grace and know your boundaries of not allowing people to can't call you, like saying appropriate things, like all those things that go into protecting yourself as a student. Now you have to bring that back up because there's more strangers on your campus. But I want to segue to networking. Networking is often talked about as something you should do during homecoming, especially with successful alum But how do we feel about that? Is there a best way to go about networking during homecoming? And is getting involved in business in some way spoiling like that fun culture of the event.
I am of the view that it does spoil it a little bit because I know me personally. If I'm having fun with all my classmates who I haven't seen in year, and some young undergraduate comes up to me and it's like I want a job, I would be annoyed by that. And I do think with networking period, regardless of the occasion, you do have to toe the line between kind of begging for a job and then just showing genuine interest in someone. Right when you're a networking you should automatically come up to somebody and be like, tell them everything that you need from them. It's more so about starting a conversation and building a relationship with this person so that way when the function is over, you can count on them to remember you later for different opportunities. So that's how I personally like to go about it. I was told by a professor to print out like business cards and pass them out to people homecoming, and I just feel like that's not it. And you also have to keep in mind I'm thinking about tailgate because that's when I see most alum at.
These people are drunk, like they're having fun.
Yeah, it's not really a place for you, as somebody who doesn't even know these people, just off the virtue of y'all both being from the same school to go up to them and be like begging for a job. I feel like it's more so about coming to homecoming with the attitude that I want to build relationships with people who have gone to the same school as me. I want to get to know them and their journey more, and I'm going to start up a conversation with them if it lands in us exchanging LinkedIn's, that's perfect. If it don't and don't, but I just feel like you have to remember your intentions. And again, my priority does have fun if it naturally comes up to where I'm talking to alum and they're asking me about my career interest and yeah, let's talk about it. But I'm not really going to be the one to bring it up for real because I just feel like it's not the time.
But that's just my thoughts. But I'm curious what you think.
I guess that the professional in me is like, yeah, like network but like realistically, to your point, how are you networking?
Listen?
I could have done a lot more networking during my time of college.
I didn't know how to.
I didn't know.
The power of it. I got told the term so many times. It was like a mute term to me, like it didn't matter, like how many times.
You said it.
I didn't do it.
But I'm thinking now as I talk about it out loud, the networking might be for like the grads because as a student, to your point, you're just having fun, like you're just in it. You're getting your burger, you're getting your chicken from the cues, you're getting your hugs from the aunties who haven't seen you, grew up with you. Like you're not passing out business cards. And maybe they did that back in the day and that worked well for them, but I think now our generation, like you're getting Instagram, you're getting socials, and then maybe afterwards your following up. But as a grad, I think homecoming can be really useful to leverage, like when'd you graduate? Okay, I graduated in here? What do you do now? And I feel like that's an easier transition to network while y'all are both drinking. I feel like that makes sense because I feel like as a student, not to say you shouldn't network, but I really think you could have fun, Like it doesn't have to be business all the time. And maybe for some people it is that serious, and I respect that because we don't know everyone's past college. But I feel like we don't have to network at all points of our lives. And I feel like this is a weekend or a week or two that you can have fun and not network. But I think if you graduate, you're coming back, then you can leverage when you graduated what field you're in now and having genuine conversations and not necessarily networking.
I don't think that.
Those two have to be the same thing, because you'll be surprised what so many lums do, Like I'm the VP and they're.
Older, like they're in their career.
Like I'm the senior VP of City Bank, and it's like real, like I'm an associate, Like how did you do that? And I think that's how you quote unquote network. But I don't feel like you have to put so much pressure on It can just be a conversation at a football game, at a tailgate, no business cards, no linkedins unless they're older. Again, unless you're graduating in the eighties, yes, get the LinkedIn, get the email.
But if they're like new.
School, get the Instagram, follow up with the DM, get the LinkedIn, follow up with the DM.
If you want, keep it chill.
I don't feel like it has to be so much pressure to find your job at homecoming. I just don't think that's realistic to put that much pressure on yourself.
And that also made me think about the fact that there are so many companies now who are coming into these homecomings having their own booth, and I know I feel about that. During my freshman homecoming HBO Max, I think have their own like huge section and we're out there trying to like network and get people to be interested in jobs. And then Stacy Abrams was there doing like political stuff. There were several political organizations out there, and I'm just like, what happens is fun. Like I don't want to sound like I'm not engaged with the world, because I am, but I don't know. I just feel like it tanks to experience a little bit, and it almost feels like manipulative, Like you're coming into the space where you know there's going to be a lot of black people, and so you're using this opportunity to try and get whatever your numbers are for your company, and it just turns into like a career fair And I just don't think it's supposed to give that.
I feel like it's supposed to give party, fun, family.
But now we have these companies coming in that are trying to like get you to sign up for their job board, Like I don't like that.
So yeah, and the companies are going hard like I don't know when Nike and like all those big companies really started like leveraging HBCU homecoming culture and profiting off of it, and of course using black artists and typical HBCU grads. But I feel like there was a shift in years where where everything was like, oh, yeah, we're going to be at this HCU homecoming, you should like go to our booth. And it's like, wait, when did this shift happen? Because I felt like homecoming was just fun. But I think that's just this generation of college Like maybe that's the norm now and people are wanting to put their businesses and their brands in the eyes of college students during that weekend, maybe when they know they're more relaxed.
Who knows.
Hi, I'm sorry, Taylor. We'll return to Jana right after the break. So we've touched on this a little bit throughout the conversation, but now we're about to get into the meat and potatoes. Let's talk about the spending that's associated with homecoming. So we already know when homecome is about to arrive. We're on fashion over on all of our pretty little thing. We're on all of these websites trying to get our outfits together for the various events, and then you have to pay for the events themselves. The tickets are not cheap. And on top of that, for things like tailgate, you got to secure your plate. You got to make sure that you're well fed. So for all of these various costs that we know are associated with homecoming, I'm wondering, what are your personal tips when it comes to navigating those and how did you navigate those when you were in college?
So I think the food caught my attention for a few seconds. But the cool thing about when I was in college again, I don't know, mighta change, But when I was in college, tailgate plates didn't cost anything. It's free food. You just pull up. And if you good relationship with the frat, the old heads.
You speak yep, yep.
You need to.
Speak, You need to say hi, you need to be nice, you need to talk, open your mouth and speak, you might get a plate. And you know, if you were over the age of twenty one, an alcoholic beverage like you might get that. And the alums are paying for all, like so much money into that food. So they're providing free food for the campus. So never had to really worry about food. I think the biggest way to like do homecoming on a budget is to get your outfit months in advance. Don't wait on that and like try to exput out your shipping. Don't do all of that. Reuse outfits, like you don't have to have a fresh fit for every day you're there. You can reuse outfits. No one's seen you. It's okay, you don't live on campus anymore, you're straight. I also think hitting up people who you know still live in the area to stay with them. I think that was a big thing for me. I was not going to pay for like lodging. That was never going to happen. I was gonna hit up my friends. Can I crash on your couch for two days, like I'll survive. Like the flight was enough, but if you are coming out of state, like making sure you're budgeting like the flight or like the gas, because that really can add up. And also taking time off of work, like making sure that you have the money to do it and not take a loss, because we're not taking losses financially just a party, Like we're too grown. We're too grown for that. So thinking ahead, booking everything ahead was like really important west me and her go together very bad. Two free check bags will do it for me every time, Like you're never taking her from me, But I think again, Like I booked that month in advance, I got my outfit months in advance. I make sure when I graduated a couple weeks later, when my friends are like, I miss you so much, I'm like, yeah, girl, well let's make sure I have a spot at your house for homecoming. And like, I plan that month in advance, so there was no confusion on that. So it literally is just making sure you have the finances to do it without putting yourself into debt because it's not worth it. Like maybe it is for some people, but I don't think it was worth it for me to go into debt for seventy two hours of fun. But I'm curious, Like for you as a student, do you have any tips financially for students.
Yeah, so I'll also start with the food point. So everything you said was absolutely correct. You will get a free play, but you do need to talk to be full, Like these are old heads. They want you to show your manners. They want you to be like, hi, how are you? They want you to talk speak if you want your plate, point blank period. And as we already touched on, the fraternities have the best food.
They really do. The queues stay on it.
With oh my God, the Moorehouse cues chicken today, the honey on the chickens cut out to the Moorehouse cues that is the best chicken.
Of They throw down, they throw down. But like I said, you do need to speak. You can't just go up and expect a free play. Like these are different organizations. You do have to work your way in there to get your plate. You got to earn that plate. You don't get for free. Really, you got it. You gotta talk to get your plate. So I agree about that point. When it comes to outfits, I just feel like you need to rewear all stuff if you're worried about paying, and don't let the fact that you don't have an outfit stop you from going out, because like you're gonna miss out on so much. I want to our welcome gym in my pajamas. I swear to God, true story. I went in my pajamas because I'm just like it's between me either not going because I don't feel like look for outfit, or I go and I go dress true to myself. So I went, I had a great time in my pajamas and that was that, and I didn't care. So I just like, don't make such a big deal out of having an outfit, Like it's not that big of a deal for real. And then we didn't really touch on the events and the costs for each event. The only thing I can really say about that is that some schools I know. At spell House, we have like little packages, so if you get the tickets for all of the events at once, you'll get a discount compared to doing like individual events. That's the only thing I can really tell you for real, because they do be checking who has their ticket. They don't play about that. I save your money in advance, like homecoming, hap is the same time every year, it's Occtober. You know what's coming. So if you want to go, save your little one hundred and fifty at spell House, that's how much you really need to get in.
One hundred and fifty dollars for all the events.
Yes, it's the fashion show, the comedy show, the hip hop concert, the Neo soul concert, and then they have the student concert and the chance.
Oh they're making a part of it.
They are.
And what's really sick is that on top of tuition, I think that's in God, that's the sick part for me.
That's interesting, unrealistic for.
A lot of students too, who are paying out a pocket for college exactly exactly.
And that's why I was last homecoming.
I really had to ask myself do I want to pay this much money to see a little dirt And the answer was no. The answer was no, and I had a great time in my dorm room. I saw it all play out on Instagram and I was like, thank God, I didn't pay for this. And sometimes it is better to just pay for individual events if you know that you're not.
Going to go to all of them.
And then another thing I wanted to touch on is make sure you're not getting scammed, because there was one year I had to call it my bank and dispute a charge because I had paid for tickets online. It was like event bright and it was not the right ticket a lot of times. Because the tickets do sell out in spellhouse, you want to be the first one to get it, but just make sure that you're using the right links and don't get scammed because that happened to me. Luckily I got my money back, but that did happen.
To a lot of scamming does occur because you're swapping your car and not really thinking about life. I'm a tapper. I'm just tapping my phone and not really thinking. So I definitely need second that do not get scammed during homecoming. It will make the homecoming not worth it. A minor inconvenience can really throw off the whole thing. It really can throw the entire thing for me. So don't get scammed.
Thank god I got my money back, or else I wouldn't have been going nowhere as you should have.
So let's switch to like safety at homecoming, from the crowded tailgates to the wall to wall parties that we talked about earlier. It's important to always be mindful of your surroundings. So what other general tips you have for making sure you stay safe during these festivities on campus.
Yeah, so, as we already mentioned, I can't speak to the party aspect, but what I will speak to is tailgate because what happened in my freshman tailgate was that the way it was set up like that, much like barricades and gates around right, and it's like huge, Spellhouse Homecoming, like its trails, two different campuses. It's like huge. So it was already hard enough to get in. Once I got in, I scoped the scenery out, I was ready to go. I had no idea how to get out because there was all these barricades.
Mind you was packed.
Trying to walk to one booths to another is going to take you like ten minutes because you're trying to get through all these different people who are out there. So I most definitely had to jump a gate. I'm speaking my truth here on this podcast. I had to jump a gate to get out because I was just like claustrophobic. It was too many people around me. It was like going to be another twenty thirty minute walk for me to get to where I need to go.
I was lost. I jumped the gate. So in order to.
Avoid situations like that, I feel like you need to come in with the game plan and map out how to get in and.
How to get out.
Know your exits essentially, because also it's hot, it's a bunch of people next to you. You might encounter some room people. You don't want to be lost in alder To tailgate not knowing how to get back to your dorm. And that goes for more than tailgate, Like knowing your surroundings before you go anywhere is really important just for safety. And also share your location with people around you who might be able to help you and come and get you. So those will be my safety tips. But what about you.
I definitely think sharing your location with people who are not with you, so people in surrounding areas, if you have any sharing your location with your parents. It's not corny, it's being safe, like it's just what it is. I also do agree with making sure you're aware of you're surrounding. So if you see a fight, maybe you should walk away. If you see an argument, maybe should walk away. If you are seeing an uncomfortable situation, walk away. Trusting your gut is going to be really important. That central homecoming was so many people, and so I was doing like that lifeguard scan with my head. I'm looking everywhere, like making sure although i am drinking and I'm eating and i'm talking, I'm socializing, that I'm aware of people around me and like watching people and watching their conversations because it's getting heated.
Is it not being very aware?
Because there's unfortunately a lot of situations where you're not aware, and as a student, you can get harmed. You just don't want to be like all the news. That's just not what you came for. You just want to have a good time. If you are participating in drinking, if you are over the legal making sure that you're watching how much you're drinking, making sure that you're paying attention to your limit, knowing your limit, having your friends watch you as well, Like if you're coming with a group, have each other's back. You should never be going home alone.
No one's drink should be on the floor.
All those basic things sound so cheesy, but it is real. It is so real to make sure you're paying attention to those things because we see a spike and just violence, we see a spike in alcohol poisoning. All those things I know we saw like last year Howard's home coming, people hopping the gate like you don't know who's coming to the tailgate. I'm not saying any of the people who are hopping the gate were unsafe, but I'm just saying it's not a protected space.
This is a public space.
But people are coming in and coming out as they please, So just making sure you're watching your stuff, yourself and your group, I think is really important. And when it gets to dark house side, probably go home. The tailgate is probably over. Know that you don't have to be outside all day. You can go home and pick it up the next day as well.
So yeah, and to add one more thing, I had just spread an article recently about how sexual assault rates go up during homecomings. Then I can imagine it's because it's such a busy time that it could be so easy to get away with something like that, because it's just a lot going on at once. And of course, as women, we can't prevent necessarily, and we shouldn't have to write, but unfortunately we have to do to be precautionary. And so one thing that I try to do is make sure that my drink is always covered. And if you put your drink down and you lose sight of it for any second, just go ahead pour it out twin like it's not that deep. You can get you another drink. So that's the last thing that I wanted to add on the point of safety. So YEA, to close this wonderful conversation, we're gonna have a little bit of a sappy question, which is what makes homecoming so valuable?
And what does homecoming mean to you? Jaana?
Oh my god, I feel like those again, like those marketed brands, and it's a person like getting interviewed in their name and their college.
Is in the corner.
Homecoming means but no, I think it means I know, homecoming means community. They paying to the shoe their university, like I love it. I will watch it every year.
I don't care.
But I think definitely homecoming for me. I touched on this a little bit earlier, but like all the old heads coming back, the memories that I have for football games and tailgates and their stories and them being so happy to come back and them telling us at least that you and see, like the trials and tribulations and being a black student in the seventies and the eighties at a white school. It is priceless, like all the stories you can get. And I think living out their legacy, making our own legacy is really important. And so I think for sure, like it means legacy, it means community, and it means development. I feel like you're being developed in such a fast way. This is the place where you know a lot of your girls happened, a lot of events happen, pain, happiness, and you're able to come back and pay like respect to that version of you and then also live out another new version of you that's past that point. So yeah, I think that's what it means to me.
But what about you? What does homecoming mean to you?
Homecoming to me means black joy, because when I look at my own homecoming at spell House, I can never imagine another situation where there would be this many black people all under one roof. We're all just having fun and connecting with each other, and so that's always really joyful to witness. Then I'll also say connection because, as you mentioned, getting to hear these kind of stories from older alum being passed down, and as I mentioned, it's kind of a tradition at Spellmen for people who stayed in your dorm to come and give you money, and they'll come by and they'll tell you stories about their time living in the dorm. Those stories are always priceless, and those are the moments where I really appreciate connecting with alum.
So I would say black joy.
And connection, those are my main homecoming buzzwords. Not to get too corporate, but.
I love it.
I love that and I'm really excited for you to have two more homecomings. I feel like the best ones are waiting for you and real quick.
We didn't hit this question, but I just thought of it, like what would be your dream homecoming concert lineup? Because me personally, the perfect thing for me is if they did a Young Money reunion that would.
Eat for a homecoming concert.
Yeah, it's like, I guess Drake has canceled to never mind, but like Lil Wayne and like old NICKI perform your old music, I would, Yeah, that would eat.
I'm trying to think.
I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think. So even see, we always like a spring concert. We had walka Flakka, like we had Gunna for the virtual one. We had like heavy hitters that would come to you and see and the budget was there so they would pull up. But I think I don't really care to see Young Money now NICKI canceled me. I don't care to see her perform personally. I don't care to see Wayne personally. If we were in twenty twelve, yes you would catch me there, but honestly, I would be straight with like a little boozy. I feel like being in the South. I would want j Cole to pull up and do like his old music, like his Fayetteville heavy hitter music. I would want like a North Carolina reunion, like I wouldn't mind pd Paba popping up. I wouldn't mind Fantasia popping up. Other associates like if we can't really speak about they have been canceled for the most part, like Anthony Hilton, he could pull up for the soul performance. I think we can just have like a North Carolina Old.
And new generation lineup.
I think that would be so hard because I feel like we go hard for our artists and they also go hard for where they come from. It's kind of corny, but like no other so I think that could be cute. Okay, So where can we keep up with you? And what are your social media handles?
Yes, I absolutely loved our conversation today and if the girls would like to keep up with me, my Instagram is at yours Traleia Zaria Zaria, sel z A r Ia and then I'm also on LinkedIn. If any Spilm and Alum are listening to this and feel inspire to open their purse, Yes, Zoria Taylor on LinkedIn, you can hit me.
Up open the purse and accept my LinkedIn request to open up both.
Yeah, but Jina, what about you?
Okay?
So you can find me on Instagram at Jana dot lst Jyna dot Ellis and then my LinkedIn is just my name as well. I feel like if you type it in Google you can find it. But feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn. But yeah, Zaria, I loved our conversation. I'm so excited to see like you're fit for homecoming. I'm excited and I just hope you have the best time.
Thank you and my peop pajamas we'll.
See okay well and they'll take it.
Yes, yes, I want to thank Jana for inviting me to be a part of this episode. Class is over for now, but here are some affirmations to take with you. Homecoming is meant to be fun. I can use this time to do things that uplift me without worrying about outside stressors. I embrace this opportunity to engage in activities that bring me joy and interact with people who nourish my spirits. I have the agency to tailor my homecoming experience according to my personal desires, even if that means skipping the events that my friends are going to. To learn more about the work we're doing or to do more research on this topic, be sure to visit Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash GBGU.
This episode was produced by Elise Ellis Csaria Taylor.
Editing is by Dennison L.
Bradberg.