We’re back this week to provide you with another page-turning addition to your bookshelf. Grab your reading glasses, find somewhere cozy, and get into this week’s TBG library pick, The Luminous Self, by Tracee Stanley.
Tracee Stanley is a post-lineage teacher and founder of Empowered Life Circle, a sacred community and portal of practices, rituals, and Tantric teachings. In The Luminous Self, Tracee provides a guide to self-remembrance with practices, meditations, and self-inquiry questions inspired by yoga and Tantra to help you connect with your inner wisdom, remember your wholeness, and live with clarity and compassion. Tracee joins us today to share what it means to show up as your luminous self, the importance of rest, and why our self-care practices should evolve with the ebbs and flows of our lives.
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Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. You may already know this, but we are huge book fans here at There Free for Black Girls, and we have another page turning edition to add to your bookshelf. Grab your reading glasses, find somewhere cozy, and get into this week's TVG library Pick The Luminousself by Tracy Stanley. We'll be back with the conversation with Tracy after the break. The reviews for Sisterhood Heels are rolling in and I simply cannot stop smiling at the Hot Girl Books on Instagram shared finish reading this warm hug of a book last night, and while it made me want to hug my sister Friend So Bad. Sisterhood Heels is a beautiful guide on how we as black women can use our community and friends to aid in our healing process. Thank you so much for the beautiful review. Have you grabbed your copy yet? Get one for yourself and a friend at sisterhoodheels dot com. Tracy is a post lineage teacher and founder of Empowered Life Circle, a sacred community and portal of practices, rituals, and tantric teachings. In The Luminous Self, Tracy provides a guide to self remembrance with practices, meditations, and self inquiry questions inspired by yoga and tantra to help you connect with your inner wisdom, remember your wholeness, and live with clarity and compassion. To unpack the lessons shared in the book, I'm joined by Tracy, who shares what it means to show up as your luminous self, the importance of rest, and why our self care practices should evolve with the ebbs and flows of our lives. If something resonates with you while enjoying our conversation, please share it with us on social media using the hashtag TBG in session or join us in the Sister Circles. To talk more about the episode, you can join us at community dot therapy for Blackgirls dot com. Here's our conversation. Thank you so much for joining me today, Tracy.
Oh, thank you, doctor Joy. It's such an honor to be here with you. Oh.
I'm so excited for us to chat today. So you have a beautiful book coming out called The Luminous Self. Can you tell us about the title and how the luminous self is different from other versions of ourselves?
Hmm, that's a good question. So the Luminous Self refers to this idea in Yogic philosophy, and this is an idea that spans across many indigenous cultures and other wisdom traditions, that there is a part of us that is luminous, There is a part of us that is eternal, and that this place is located in the cave of our hearts, and that this space is and this light is something that is beyond all conditioning, it is beyond all sorrow, and that part of our practice is to be able to be in the space where we taste that. And so the lumin it self refers to that self, the true self, the one that's inside of us, not the one that we're constantly searching for with all the external things.
So I feel like we're probably going to get into this later. Can you start to tell me how do we access this? What does it look like to kind of strip away all these other messages that we hear and like everything else that you're talking about is not actually our lumin isself.
I love that you use the words strip away, because that's exactly what it is. It really is a process of inquiry beginning with the question who am i? And who am I? As a question that has been asked eternally, and people have moved into a space of being more enlightened by asking that question. But those people were living at a different time. They were living hundreds of years ago when life was much simpler, and I think for us we sometimes have to start with the question of who am I not? And then when we start to ask the question who am I not? We get to look at all of the labels and all of the definitions that have been placed upon us and decide what is it that we want to reclaim, and the idea of who am I not? Or who am I? I feel like starts to become just a little bit more subtle and a little bit more refined and simple and spacious the more we continue to ask that question.
So tell me how you want people to interact with the book that you've written.
Oh, I would love for them to interact much in the way that people interacted with my first book, Radiant Rest. Is that we want to be able to cultivate a relationship. I think that we have so many voices and so many protocols and so many systems it's hard to kind of know where to go. And this book is really a set of practices that are held together by my own personal story, so that it gives a little bit of context into how these practices can help to reveal and strip away all of the messages that we've received, all the stories that we've believed that are not true, and how we can step more into our remembered wholeness and our remembered wellness. So what I would love for people to do is sit with the book and it comes with six downloadable practices, and to just lay back, do the practices, write about it. Some of the practices have suggested amounts of time that you should consistently do the practice because that's stripping away that you talked about a lot of times. It's not a one and done. It's not like, oh, you're gonna do this meditation and tomorrow you're gonna feel better in five seconds. It's literally, let me do this meditation and commit and devote myself to doing this practice of self devotion for forty days and see how each day there's a little bit of stripping away and it's an ebb and flow. Right, It's one day we're gonna feel fantastic, the next day we might feel a little stuck. But if we keep going, these practices are cumulative. So my hope is that people use this as a guide, know that it's not a protocol. Know that every practice in the book is not right for everyone. So I give that kind of idea for people to just sit with what feels right for them, and if they happen to be working with a therapist, that a lot of what gets mined from this information of self inquiry is great for you to bring back to your therapist to say, oh, look what I am covered here that I might not have known before, and it becomes even more powerful.
So what healing do you feel like took place for you in writing this book, and how was the process different from writing your first book.
Oh, that's a great question. So the first book, radiant rest, I wrote it from a place of rest. And what I would say is that I didn't write the book. I received the book. So it wasn't a doing in writing, It was a receiving. And what I would say about this book is that it was written from a place of remembrance. I had to go back and remember some of the painful experiences that I've experienced in my life. Let's say the first really profound experience is an experience of bullying and having egg smashed in my hair when I was really young. And to really illuminate, how did that experience shape who I became for the next fifteen years and what was the moment that I realized, Oh, that experience shaped how I moved through the world, how I carry myself, how I trust people, how I don't trust people, And how did the practices that I received through the practices of yoga and meditation helped me to unwind the conditioning to the point where I realized that was something that was informing me out of a place of pain. And yes, there were gifts that came from that, and they were also things that I needed to lay to rest and to really have the power to lay those to rest. So I think the remembering that I experienced in the writing of this second book was also a healing because I got to see how far have I come, What are the things that I remembered, and what are the things that I might have forgotten that are also important for me to continue to remember so I can continue my healing path.
So going back to the theme of kind of stripping away, So you begin practicing in yoga in two thousand and one, and you left your career as a Hollywood film producer to dedicate your life to this work. So what questions do you remember asking yourself when you were embracing this transition in your life.
Yes, I mean what I would say is I was very fortunate because I started yoga when I became a producer, when I started in Hollywood, I was on my path to yoga. And the more successful my career became, the deeper my spiritual practice became. And it felt like these two things were kind of in opposition to one another, because what I was noticing is that there was all of this spiritual abundance my life. And what I noticed was, Oh, there's all of this kind of immense wealth, right, that's happening in the film business, but there's spiritual bankruptcy. And so why is it that we want to cultivate this wealth but we don't have any inner wealth. There's so much inner poverty happening. And so I opened a yoga studio, and I created a space so that people could come and pay donation for classes. And what I started to see was my contentment, my joy, my feeling of being of purpose, of being of service was much more connected when I was in the yoga studio than when I was on the film set. And then I tried to merge the two. I tried to bring in some things, and I was able to do that in a few films because working with people like Forrest Whittaker, it was very easy to say, Okay, we're hiring people based on energy, we're not kind to have any drama. So there was a spiritual element to that, but that was very few and far between when I could have those kinds of conversations with other producers, and then you have to think about the financing that a lot of times in film financing, you think here's where the money is coming from, and then somewhere along the line there's one of the financiers who's gotten the money from somewhere else that is maybe not in alignment with who you are. So for me, it was a kind of moment of realizing that I wanted more of my life to be about my spiritual path and less of my life being around people that were not in alignment with my values, and the films that I was making I wanted to also be in alignment with my values.
So you describe yourself as a post lineage yoga teacher, Can you tell me what that means and tell me more about like your style as a yoga teacher.
Yes, so post lineage really means that the foundation of the things I teach come from the lineage that I was trained in, and that's a very long lineage of five thousand years of teachings and transmissions. But it's also can be a system of practices that can feel very rigid because there's not a lot of spaciousness for other things. It's like, oh, this is the right way to do something, and if you do it any other way, it's not correct. It doesn't take in a lot of times. I'm not saying this about every tradition, but a lot of times it doesn't take in the health of the collectives, the person who doesn't have a practice of twenty years, but someone who's coming in new. And one of the things that happened for me was I was in a meditation and at some point the instruction was to visualize a lineage holder at your heart. I was like, well, where are my ancestors in this process? Because my lineage is also my ancestors And that was something that in the particular lineage that I was studying, was never really brought in. So I started to study ancestral healing, and I started to study some of Maladonmosomes practices and saboonfe some and so it was like, okay, there's more here. I have a relationship with nature, and I recognize that nature is a healing force, and that anytime that I bring a group of people, like right now we're in Costa Rica on this rest retreat, and anytime that I bring people to rest in nature or to practice in nature and deep nature, the healing is so quick. The layers and the peeling away come so much more quickly, and so it's like, why wouldn't I want to bring all of these things into my teaching. And so when I say post lineage is like, you might not look and see some of these things in the books necessarily, but their practices that I've done and things that I have done that I know are embodied within me that I can share, and so I feel like my teaching this allows me to have a more responsive style of teaching, which is also a post lineage way of teaching, is that you respond to what and who is in the room and the conditions that are present not just in the space, but also in the world to inform your teaching. It's not just like here's the direction and this is the only way that you can teach. And the term post lineage actually was coined by someone named THEO. Wildcraft, and they wrote their dissertation which is now a book based on this idea of post lineage tention.
More from our conversation after the break. So, I'm curious, why do you think when you bring groups to nature to kind of participating these kind of rest retreats, why does the healing happen much quicker?
Well, first I think the distractions go away. And when the distractions go away or are lessened, we start to see our resistance to spaciousness. So this is the comment that has been coming up for this retreat. On day two I was hearing from the participants. I didn't realize that I had a resistance to spaciousness. And so then we get to go deeper to say, well, what is that. Let's go into the inquiry what is that resistance? And then we get to oh, this resistance is fear. And what is the fear. The fear is not being enough, and the fear is if I'm not doing constantly, then I'm not valuable, I'm not worthy. And so being in nature, I feel like is a reflection because we start to see the reflection of ourselves. In nature, we realize that we are the earth, and the earth is us. And when we look out at a beautiful space that has beautiful birds and waterfalls and mountains and beautiful sunrises, and we look externally at that and say, oh, that's beautiful. When you spend time in nature with the right inquiries, you get to say, oh, that's beautiful, but that is me. Where's the sunrise? And me, where's the moon? And me, where's the fire in me? And you get to reclaim all those things as you and it just creates a different perspective and a different understanding.
That sounds like such a beautiful practice. It's a beautiful thing to be able to participate in. I'm excited for you and for them.
I'm more excited for them, but I'm also excited for me because it's beautiful to see. It's almost like people's faces change. They come in with the body being tight and maybe the face being tight, and then by day three you just feel insensus softening and people talking about feeling like I feel whole.
You know something else I'm curious about, Tracy, what is the then reintegration process back into your busy life, Like I leave this peaceful oasis and.
Now I gotta go back to work. I literally just had this conversation this morning with someone and she's like, I feel amazing. Well, what's going to happen? And so this is where our practice really starts, because it's I would say that in any right of passage, there's a couple of things that happen. Is that one, you separate yourself from the community. You separate yourself from the daily habitual things that you do every day in your normal life. And when you separate yourself, like say, get on a plane to go to a retreat, then you're in this space of liminality, especially if you are resting. Everything that I do has a foundation of rest. So in this space of rest, we are in that liminal space and the in between and the unknown, and there's so much creativity and beauty that can come from that. But the right of passage is not complete until you return that to your community and you return back renewed. So I think the work is really being in awareness of how easy it is to fall back into those unhelpful patterns, how easy it is to fall back into negative thought constructs. And so if we can become aware of, okay, well now that I'm not on retreat, and we can just do this now, even if you haven't been on a retreat. It's just make a list of all the ways you waste time, of all the ways that you dim your life, of all the ways that you distract yourself, and then begin to say, okay, there's three things maybe on this list that I'm willing to release so that I can devote time to myself and I can create more spaciousness in my life. And when you create that space, then you can bring in practices that you know help and support you. And I think that starts to become a weaving that happens where our life can become a ritual as opposed to a constant doing, and then we can start to hopefully be aware of when those negative thoughts start to creep in. How do you go from I feel whole when I'm on retreat and jumping in a waterfall, to oh, I need to keep my voice quiet. And I think that's where the beauty of therapy can really be helpful, is that when you have an expansive experience and you feel yourself contracting, the therapist can help you to really create ways in your life that can be supportive. And I think having someone to talk to on a weekly or a monthly basis is paramount to our health.
So you've talked about risks several times today already. You know the first book is called Radiant Risk, and you pose this question of what if you embraced risk your birthright? So how does tapping into your to our birthrights impact our ability to connect to our luminis self.
You know, our luminous self is a place within us also that is always at rest and always at ease. And that's why I also included yoga nidra practices in the Luminous celts because being able to soften and remember that place, I feel gives us more permission to practice intentional rest because it's like we get to taste that part of ourselves that's always at ease. I mean, that was my experience. And the first yoga nadri ever did twenty one years ago is or twenty two years ago now, it was, Oh, something is being revealed to me. And what's being revealed is that there's a place within me that is always at rest and at ease. And this is not something I need to grab for on the outside, which is everything you think, It's already here and I just have to be still.
In your work, you talk about like the ebbs and flows of our self care practices and really allowing our practices to evolve with where life finds us at any point. So I want you to talk more about why that needs to change. But I am also curious to hear how your practices have changed and how you're instructing people differently in this place in the pandemic, right, because I think you know, when you think about like having to respond to what's happening in the world, that has been a huge world event for us. So could you talk about both of those things.
Yes. So I like to think about these ebbs and flows as honoring our season of life, honoring the season that we're in. And first of all, we have to know the season that we're in. And I think that because we're in this kind of well culture that really wants to sell us anti aging products and wants to sell us products to make us have a certain body type, that it's really easy to get caught up in the denial of the season of the life that we're in. So for me personally, the season of life that I'm in is postmenopausal. And when I was going into perimenopause, I remember feeling like not thinking about it as a season that's natural, right, it was the first thought was like oh no, right, And it's like, well, wait a second, let me acknowledge that not only is this a powerful season for me to experience as a woman, but this is me moving into my elderhood. This is me moving into my deep wisdom? Why would I want to reject this right? And then with that, maybe there's going to this season of extra weight on the body, And maybe that just means that I need a bigger vessel to be able to contain everything that is the wisdom from all the lifetimes that are coming right now, to be able to hold space for my community, whatever that might be. So I think the seasons of just the general seasons can help us to begin to attune a little bit like honoring. Okay, it's wintertime. It's time for us to go fallow. If you look outside, depending on where you live, if you look outside most of the time, there's some sort of change, and maybe the leaves have dropped off, and maybe it looks like the trees are dead, but the trees are hibernating, the animals are hibernating. How can I model that for myself and own that as opposed to being in some sort of colonized system that basically says you only get to rest on Thanksgiving and then the next day you better be back to work, and on January first, you better be back and ready to It's like, this isn't the way nature is and we need to replicate more of nature rather than listening to these outside things. So the ebb and flow will happen where there may be the ebb of Okay, I need to go into deep breasts. I need to go into a rest cave from November to January, and I need to honor that. And I need to have sacred boundaries to let the people who are coming into town and want to get together and want to do this, to know that this is what's happening. You want to come over and rest with me, then let's do that. And then when spring is coming for me, this is like coming to Costa Rica in this springtime and feeling the warmth and getting to play and to dream and to allow this kind of inspiration small time. So I think that we all have a season of life, and we have a season of time that we're in, and the season that the pandemic has brought upon us, I really feel like is just to talk about it, I guess in an esoteric way. First is that it has brought us into the liminal. It has brought us into the unknown. And I think that in our Western culture, we are addicted to having to know, and so if we can be in that liminal space and rest because I think about the lockdown as a global practice. We were asked to do a global practice, and we were also asked to support our community. We were also asked to practice community care. We were also asked to not be individualistic, and some of us failed and some of us learned. And to me, it was the learning space. And what I feel because what I see reflected in groups is that those who were doing their work of listening, of being in community, they are more well than they might have been before the pandemic. And some of us who for whatever reason didn't do anything during that time, I feel like it's becoming very clear that there's real work to be done.
And what do you think that work looks like? Because in some ways it feels like if people didn't get to whatever it was like in this period of slowing down, now there is all this continued pressure to put yourself back out there and like go back into the office and like do all of these things. What kinds of things do people need to do to create that space to do maybe some of the work they didn't have the opportunity to do in the pandemic.
Well, for sure, they have to rest. Because one of the things that I know last year when I went back to teaching some retreats live, was the level of deep bone exhaustion and the level of greets. It was so real and so potent, and it was pervasive across the board. It didn't matter who you were, the level of exhaustion was there. And what I realized in one of the retreats, and this goes back to your question about how do I teach and the season is I had a Yoga Nidra retreat that I was teaching and we were going to be practicing yoga Nidra and the first practice, everybody laid down and I was like, oh, I can feel the level of exhaustion, the level of sadness, despair and grief. And I was like, I'm not teaching any Yoga nindra. These people need to sleep, not even rest, because rest and sleep are different. These people need to sleep and all I'm going to be doing is holding and protecting space for them to sleep and not have shame about sleeping, because that was the medicine that was needed.
More from our conversation after the break, what is the difference between rest and sleep?
Well, I think the easiest way to think about it is that if you don't sleep for let's say a week and a half maybe more, you probably won't live very long, right Your systems will start shutting down. It is a biological need. But I think we all know people who have gone decades without resting, so there's a difference. I think that sleep allows you to feel rested, but intentional rest is different than in that way.
So when I hear you talk Tracy about the lumine itself, it brings to mind conversations around intuition and like, how do people know something is intuition versus anxiety? Or how do we really get into a practice of listening to our inner voice?
So, like anything, I think it's practice. And I'm a big fan of free writing and journaling, and I think that the questions that I would ask myself today if I was interested in developing and creating a relationship with my intuition, would be when was the last time that I had intuition that I had a strong intuition? And did I listen to that intuition? Why or why not? And then what was the outcome? And then I would go back in time to the time before that I felt I had a strong intuition, and I would just continue to go back as far as I could go back in my memory writing this down. What was the outcome? Did I listen? Why didn't I listen? And just start to be able to create a story around what is my relationship with intuition? And if I haven't listened to my intuition? Because I think we've all been in that spot where you knew something was off and for whatever reason you decided not to listen and then something happened and you're like, I knew this, Da da da da right, So any kind of and this really is also a decolonization practice because oppressors don't want us to listen to our intuition because that's where the knowing is. So how can you then turn this around to say, I'm going to create a practice where for three days, maybe you'd start this on a Friday and you ended on a Sunday. For three days, I'm going to do nothing but listen to my intuition and I'm going to notice where is it guiding me? And I'm maybe even going to notice what does it feel like in my body when I actually feel that inner voice, What does it feel like when I get a hard no? And that to me is how you begin to cultivate the relationship. But it is a practice, and again it needs to be done consistently.
I love that our community typically loves good journal prompt so I am sure that's one people are going to be eager to exercise. So thank you for offering that to us. So I would also love it if you would offer us a five minute or so guided meditation to help us get a little closer to answering that first question you asked about. Who am I.
Yes, of course. So what I would first offer is to come into a comfortable shape, whatever that is for you. That could be resting back in your chair, could be lying on the floor side, lying in your bed. And if it feels okay for you to close your eyes or to soften your gaze, go ahead and do that. And first, just take a moment to feel into the space that your body is occupying. Notice the space your body is occupying from the top of your head to the soles of your feet, and perhaps you slowly scan from top of head to soles of feet and just notice whatever it is that you notice, without making any judgments or trying to change anything, just being impure acceptance and witnessing. And you notice the space that your body is occupying. You may also notice that the body is breathing. And as you notice the body breathing, you may also notice that there is nothing that you need to do or earn to receive this breath. So instead of thinking about taking a breath, feel as though the breath is coming to you as a gift, a gift that you are worthy of receiving. And then feel the body release the axhal and feel the next breath come to you and follow that flow of the broth. Notice the pause between the inhale and the axhale, and feel the release of the broth. Notice pause between the exhale and the inhale, and just follow the breath for three more breaths. Please notice the body is breathing, that the navel rises and falls, and so just be aware of the naval rising as you receive breath and the navel falling as you release breath. Notice how the chest becomes more and more still, and that all of the breath is moving in the belly. Three more breaths as you watch naval rise and naval fall. And then slowly just begin to notice the space and the forehead and feel as though that space is softening. And as that space softens, just feel as though the mind is also softening, and that any wrinkles in the mind are being smoothed away. Notice the softening and the eyes and the eyebrows, and the cheeks, and the chin and the throats, the shoulders, and in the heart center. Now just let your awareness rest in the heart center and feel the breath moving in and out from the heart three times. And as you allow your awareness to move deeper into the heart, just remember who you are. Ask yourself the question who am I? Who am I not? Who am I? Who am I not? Who am I? Who am I not? And then spond a minute or two in your journal just writing the am serves over and over, who am I? Who am I not? Who am I? Who am I? Thank you so.
Much, Thank you, Tracy. I think our audience will definitely appreciate that exercise as one that they can visit and revisit as often as they need to. As you said so, in addition to being an author and a teacher, you're also the founder of the Empowered Life Circle can you tell us a little bit about what this is and who this community is made for.
This community is made for anyone who wants to be in practice of rest, deep inquiry and knowing who they truly are. Empowered Life Circle is a space where we hold free events. So the next big free event will be the book Club for the Limited Self, where we on meet for four or five weeks and we'll go through the practices together and I'll be offering some of the practices that are not recorded in the book. But it's really for people full to gather and to learn. And then there is a membership part of the Empowered Life Circle, but the Empowered Life Circle as a container is a place for people to gather, learn and be supported.
Perfect And where can we find more information about that? Where can we keep up with you? And where can we grab our copy of the book?
You can grab your copy of the book at your favorite independent bookstore, or you can go to the Shambala website. Starting in June, they will have it on the website with a coupon code, so you might want to wait to June to look at it. And you can find me on my website at Tracy Yoga dot com. Tracy spelled with two e's, and you can also find me on Instagram Tracy Underscore, Stanley sta and ALII and Beautiful.
We'll be short to include all of that in the show notes. Thank you so much for spending some time with us today, Tracy appreciate it.
Thank you so much, doctor Joy. It's been an honor.
I'm so glad Tracy could join us today to chat about The Luminous Self. To learn more about her work, or to grab your copy of the book, visit the show notes at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com, Slash the Luminous Self, and don't forget to text two of your girls right now and encourage them to check out the episode. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into this topic or just be in community with other sisters, come on over and join us in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of the Internet designed just for black women. You can join us at community dot Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. This episode was produced by Frida Lucas, Elise Ellis and Zaria Taylor. Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much for joining me for another TBG Live very pick. We'll be back with another conversation next week. Take good care. What's The reviews for Sisterhood Heels are rolling in and I simply cannot stop smiling at the Hot Girl books on Instagram shared finish reading this warm hug of a book last night and while it made me want a hug my sister friend so bad. Sisterhood Heels is a beautiful guide on how we as black women can use our community and friends to aid in our healing process. Thank you so much for the beautiful review. Have you grabbed your copy yet? Get one for yourself and a friend at Sisterhoodheels dot com