Showing Up When You Want to Lay Down

Published Mar 13, 2019, 7:00 AM
In this week's episode, Melissa Ifill, LCSW is back with us to share tips on how to show up in your life even when things get tough. Melissa shared the 4 steps she uses with her clients to help them show up during the difficult times we all face, how you know when it’s time to push through vs take a step back, and of course she shared more of her favorite resources.

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Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist, visit our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. And while I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session ninety eight of the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. A few weeks ago, on session two, you heard my conversation with Melissa Eiffel, who shared incredible information about living your life to bipolar disorder. Well, this week, Melissa is back because she felt like there was something else she really wanted to make sure she shared. And that's tips for how to show up when you really just want to sit down. We find ourselves in the same patterns over and over and over again when we have life lessons to learn that we haven't really mastered. And so if you're engaged in patterns, whether it's the people, or the things or the outcomes, then it's a good sign for you to pick a step back and to pay attention to what's happening around you. But before we get into that conversation, I want to show some love to re sponsor for this episode, Natural Sious. Natural Sious is the world's first vegan, high performance hair care line that delivers the results of twelve products in only three It's designed to reduce time it's been on hair care and it's proven to save up to eighty percent of time on wash day. Natural Sious was founded by innovator Gwen Jamir, who is the first and only African American woman to hold a pattern on a natural hair care product. These products are great specifically for busy women with curly and coily hair also known as foresi hair, and they are all natural. They are sulfate, parrabine, mineral oil, petroleum, gluten and cruelty free. I've been using the products for a month now, and y'all, I don't think there's any going back for me. I've been using the products for my twist stouts, and each time I wash my hair has fewer tangles takes less time for me to twist and the moisture is off the shorts. These really are clutch products for sisters who don't have a ton of time but still want fabulous hair. So if you want to cut down on the amount of products you use and get some time back in your busy schedule, then I definitely recommend you try them. You can find the Naturalisious Products and over twelve hundred Sally stores nationwide, or can buy them online at save time on wash day dot com. And let's get into our conversation with Melissa. As a reminder, Melissa Eiffel is a licensed clinical social worker in both New York and Maryland and has twenty years experience working with communities of color in various capacities. Melissa is passionate about her work with young adults, especially women of color with the history of trauma and those who are in transition, seeking to learn how to manage their emotions, have better relationships, and take their life to the next level. In this conversation, Melissa shares the fourth steps she uses with her clients to help them show up during the difficult times we all face. How you know when it's time to push through versus take a step back, and of course she shared more of her favorite resources. While you're listening to the episode, make sure to let us know what you think by sharing your thoughts with us on social media using the hashtag a b G in Session. Here's our conversation. Thank you so much for joining us again. To Dave, Melissa, Oh absolutely. You know I told you I'm open to come back, and I'll just bring myself back here whenever I feel like it's whenever you just want to chat about something else that you think is important, yestely. So I'm excited to have you back. Melissa up. You know, we've got great response. I'm sure that you have gotten lots of comments and messages after your episode talking about life with the bipolar disorder. You know, it was a very hot topic and lots of people really appreciate it what you had to share, and so I'm glad that you could join us again today to talk more about like how you continue to show up even when it feels very difficult. Yeah, I found that and you know, just personal experience in recent months and the work that I'm doing with my clients that this is something that you know, people really struggle with and so I just thought that, you know, talking about it would be timely for a lot of things that I see happening without population that I saw this. Yeah, so can you talk to us more about like where would you even start? You know, like let's say somebody struggling with something really big and they just you know, don't even know, like how do I even pull my life back together at this point? What kinds of things are? Where would they may maybe even start with trying to you know, put one ft in front of the other. So you know, here's the thing I actually came up with, like a cute little acronym, or at least I think it's cute acronym. Yes, love a good acronym, and it's packed P A C T. So I like to think of it as like make a pact with yourself for your healing, right, And so the first point is always to have a plan. You know, a lot of times we wait until something has happened in our life or until we're feeling a certain type of way to sort of like start thinking about like what should I do here? But in the middle of a crisis or in the middle of having an emotional moment is not always the best time to sort of try and think about what you need to be doing to feel better. If you invested time and just getting to know yourself on an everyday basis, right, knowing the things that you know bring you joy, like knowing you know the things that are triggers for you, like knowing like the things that you respond best too. If you invest a lot of pre work into developing your life that way, that it gives you the ability to develop a self care plan that will really help you during tough times. I'm really glad you said that, Melissa, because I do think a lot of time. You know, even there's the misconception that therapy is only for like the crisis times, right, Um, so you know when I hit red level red, then that's the time I need to call a therapist. And what you're really talking about is all of the things you could be doing ahead of a crisis to maybe even prevent a crisis from happening. Yeah, definitely. You know what was interesting to me is if I recently read an article and I can't even really think about where I saw it, but it was talking about the fact that they did this study about people who had attempted to aside, and they interviewed them and something like fifty percent of those people had no history of depression. They had no history of having a suicidal thought. It was just something that was impulsive because they were dealing with something in the moment and they didn't know what to do. And so we tend to create plans, you know, when we have these past experiences or if we feel like we anticipate that, you know, something might be happening, even if we have the wherewithal to do it then. But what we know is we get older, is life will always be life. There will be something difficult that will happen at some point in life. There is never this point that you get to where life is just gonna cold, at least not for most of us. So to understand yourself and to you know, be so connected with yourself that you know what your triggers are and you know what are the best like interventions or tools to use during certain moments. It's the best way to assist yourself and recovery when life shows up, not if it shows up, but like when it shows up. Okay, So you're encouraging people to go ahead and him a plan, and we talked about this on the podcast before, like a self care plan for how you're regularly taking care of yourself, and you're saying that that can be a really important part of helping you to manage any life stuff that will of course show up. Yes, absolutely got you. Okay, So that's the pea. Yes, yes, that's the peak. That's the peace. Now. The A is for acknowledge. The other thing that I know for most of us is we don't like to feel pain. You know. Pain is that thing that you know, everybody is trying to escape, feel like if we're hurting, then it's something wrong with us. But taking the time to acknowledge your pain and to really get curious about your pain and you know, see it as a clue for something that you really want to work on or shift or change, gives you the opportunity to not try to push your feelings aside, but to do some work around what it is that is bothering you and to develop a sense of self or a life path that will also prevent these things from happening again. So I have found in my work, Melissa, that that is really incredibly difficult for clients to do like this whole idea of like sitting with the pain and getting curious, because that's not something that you know, we're like typically taught. And it feels very uncomfortable. So how would you encourage people, like, what do they need to do to even start trying to sit with things? Oh, I think that's a good question. So I think getting comfortable with this comfort is the first thing that I always encourage people to do. So, Yes, sitting with pain is uncomfortable. It feels crappy. We want to push it aside, and I just think that from a societal perspective, we are well trained to not want to be uncomfortable. But if you look at the pain from a perspective of this is telling me something and you can see that. Okay, if I can set aside time to engage in it. I mean, obviously, you don't want to sit in it all day, right, you don't want to constantly be in, you know, engaging with your pain point all day. But if you can set aside time and safe space to be able to engage in the feeling, then you can actually come out on the other side of it. See what happens when we try to push off this feeling of pain is we often dell other emotions and we miss out on joy, you know, happiness, love, because those things require a certain amount of vulnerability that will bring you pain as well. So the more you can practice getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, you know, sometimes then it will give you the opportunity, like when you have difficult times to engage with your pain point, like even if it's for just short birth of time throughout the course of a day or weak. Yeah, and I often think about it, you know, like let's say you get a headache, right, Like you might grab some tolennel, but you know, to make the pain go away, but you also want to examine like, Okay, is there something that may be going on that is giving me the headache? You know, and I not drinking enough water? You know, like what kinds of things may be going on? And it feels like that could be similar for mental health, right that you may use some of these coping strategies right to try to help minimize the pain, but you also want to sit with it to see, Okay, where is this pain coming from? Right? Definitely, because you might grab tolenel or you might grab something for a headache, but you know, if you're not paying attention to where the pain is actually coming from, maybe it's radiating down your neck or your arm right, So it's the same sort of concept. Absolutely. If you don't take the time to identify what it is that you're feeling, then you might be trying to like number feeling, but that's not actually the thing that you need to be paying attention to. I think the other piece of acknowledging how you feel as well, now that you bring that up, is that we often label emotions based on the emotions that were most familiar with. So if you tend to feel anger, or you allow yourself to feel anger, or if that's the emotion that sort of bubbles up to the surface all the time, then you may label whatever you're experiencing as anger, and then you may address the situation as such. But if you really get curious as to why you're feeling what you're feeling, maybe it's not anger, you know, maybe it is disappointment, frustration, sadness, heartbreak, loneliness, And if you don't get curious about that, like, addressing being angry with someone is a different sort of conversation than addressing a loneliness or disappointment. That's a really good pointment, listen. I mean because then then of course leads you to have to maybe have some difficult conversations with people, or do you need to like look at your boundaries, you know, so I think it feels like acknowledging the pain fees into lots of different areas. Definitely, absolutely, Okay, all right, so what is I see so our see if compartmentalizing. Unfortunately, because we are adulting and because we are engaged in life and we have to do certain things throughout the course of our day to be able to pay our bills or you know, just even feed ourselves, we can't engage in our pain everywhere, and we can't engage in our pain with everyone. So you have to be able to know what are your safe spaces. So, you know, do you have the type of work environment that allows you to be emotional, that allows you to be transparent when you show up to work? Is your supervisor really accommodating for that? I mean, I'm the type of supervisor I do have staff and you know, like they have come to work and we have cried together. But then I've been in other work environments where because of the type of work that we were doing, we didn't really have that amount of stabilities. So you have to spend some time really thinking about the environments that you're in and you know, how do you need to show up? So you know what that might mean is if you know that you need to reserve or have a certain amount of emotional energy to be in certain places and to show up as your best self. Maybe you're not doing everything that you used to do before. If you're going through a difficult time and you may have had a day in the past where maybe you went to the gym, work, schooled, and hung out with a whole bunch of friends, and you came home and you did homework. If you're going through a difficult time, you might not be able to keep that same schedule. You might have to shift how you spend your time to be able to deal emotionally with the challenges. It's the same thing with who you spend your time with. So the understanding safe spaces and safe people. You can't share all of you with everyone. We have friends who you know, maybe we can be completely vulnerable and transparent with because we know that they show up for us in very specific ways and encourage us. But then we have other friends who we know that, Okay, if I speak to her this way, she's gonna respond to me in this way and in this specific moment. I don't have the capacity for that. So you have to understand your environment and be able to develop ways to address your needs in different moments and with different people to keep yourself safe during these times. So I'm glad to hear you say this, Melissa, because I know, of course that compartmentalizing can be super helpful, right Like, that is a real, for real, like life skill, right like p able to know how to move in different spaces and you know which you can share with who and whatever. But I also think it is one of those things that we kind of sometimes like overly rely on, and people get really really good at compartmentalizing, and then you see a whole host of other issues. Can you talk a little bit about that, Yes, So oftentimes people think about compartmentalizing and they stuff a real good job because they're stuffing their emotion away. So this type of compartmentalizing isn't stuffing your emotional way. It's not saying, well, I'm just not gonna deal with this thing because I need to be present in these places. It's saying that I understand that there are different places and times and people who like you know, can share with So you're still making the choice to share. You're still getting curious about how you feel. Right, You're still engaging in your self care plan. You're not ignoring it. You know, you can't sex pain away, you can't drug pain away, you can't even be mad all day and then think that you're addressing your pain. So people think about compartmentalizing, and they think that they're just like stuffing their emotions into this nice little box and closing it up and just putting it on a shelf. That's not compartmentalizing. What that is is you're essentially in denial and you're trying to ignore how you feel. So it's not that we're talking about figuring out the places, spaces and times to deal appropriately with how you feel so that you're actually working through your emotions in a safe environment and you're not further damaging yourself during this time. Because if you're, you know, putting yourself in a vulnerable position at work, and like work isn't the best place to be vulnerable, then you might be creating other situations that can just sort of exacerbate whatever challenges you're having got you. And I think that's such an important distinction, you know. So you're talking about like, Okay, I'm gonna wrap this up and put it in the closet until I come back home from work, not I'm gonna show this all the way to the back of the closet until somebody finds this five years from now exactly, you know. Or I'm like carrying it with me, but I think it's in the closet, I'm pumping around and it's actually on my back and so I'm pissed off all day, or I'm on the burgetteers all day. It's not that we're actually addressing it, but we're addressing it in the best environment to address it. Yeah, So can you say more about that, Melissa, because I do think that that does happen sometimes, right that you think that you have kind of either stuffed it away or you think that you are compartmentalizing it, but it's actually kind of leaking out. And typically other people can see this more and clearer than you can. Yeah. I mean, you know, we all have triggers, and we all have things that we're reactive to. And one of the questions I get, you know, very often, is well, how do I know I've healed? How do I know that my work is done? Like? When is this gonna be over? And what I tell people is, you know, there is always going to be more work to do where we're all, you know, growing consistently and trying to figure out this thing called life. But if you find yourself in positions where you are having emotionally reactive experiences, meaning someone said something to you and you instantly get angry, or someone does something to you and you instantly have a response and you don't even really know where that response is coming from, or you're so used to simply responding to situations you don't even have the capacity to think about what you're responding to, that is a good indicator that you still have some healing to do. Yeah, So when people say, well, you know, I don't even know this is just something that that that bothers me, that's something that you need to unpack because that that typically means that it's a loaded situation, it's something from your past and you really don't even know how it's still impacting your life to that. Yeah, And do you think there's any way to, like besides kind of just being very aware and like paying attention to like how you're reacting and what kinds of thoughts you're having. Do you think there's a way to like really examine what those things are for you, like what those triggers are for you, or whether there are some things that you're kind of ring around that you don't know you're having emotional reactions too. Well. I mean, you know, obviously I'm a huge mindfulness fan, so I do think that, you know, mindfulness and paying attention to yourself is the number one way, but I also think paying attention to people's reactions to you is another way. Um, you know, we don't always have the opportunity to see ourselves. We don't give ourselves the opportunity. So unless you are a super mindful or insightful person, or your journal and you can go back and you need your journal, you know, like would you have clues. But most of us, it's about the types of relationships that we have with people. If you find that you're receiving feedback from people that's consistent and you really don't know what people are talking about, that's often the clue that there's some work that you need to do. Or if your relationships or the situations and like you're looking for really aren't panning out in the same ways that you envision your life panning out, that's also often a clue that you have some more work to do. We find ourselves in the same patterns over and over and over again when we have life lessons to learn that we haven't really mastered. And so if you're engaged in patterns, whether it's the people or the things or the outcomes, then it's a good sign for you to pick a step back and to pay attention to what's happening around you. Yeah, what is the saying Like wherever you go, there you are right, So, I mean, so we're huh No, I was gonna say. People always say, well, well, you know what, I'm just gonna move that way because I don't know what you want, because I mean, you're gonna be there no matter where he was, I'm not quite sure where you're going right right, Yeah, I mean there is the whole tendency like, Okay, this situation is not working out for me, so maybe I need a new job, or maybe I need a new partner, or maybe I need to move to a new city. But really, if the issue is something that's going on with you that you have not resolved and worked through, you're going to bring to the new job, the new relationship, the new city. Absolutely absolutely, and you'll find yourself having the same sort of reactions to things all the time. Well, like why are people so screwed up? Or like all employeers stuck and it's like, you know, like you've like you've been the consistent with like every job, every relationship, every landlord. I mean absolutely, you take you wherever you are, and you have to give yourself the opportunity to understand sometimes you are wrong right, Like you're not the person always in the right or like someone that's always doing something to you. You have a role to play and whatever's happening in your life, you know. I think that that could be interesting to kind of umpact also, Melissa kind of given especially you know, for black women, given the sexist and racist and you know all the other is environments that we find ourselves in. I think that sometimes it can be hard to tell like what is my own stuff versus what is the environment stuff? Yeah, there weed the you can, you know that maybe you help your clients trying to figure out like what is yours and what is somebody else's. Oh, that's a that's such a deep question. So I do think that whenever I find myself talking about social constructs in session, because I think, you know, how we show up as especially black women, I think in the workplace is often like a double edged sword because we don't want to fall into the trope of being an angry black woman, and we don't want to fall into this place of not feeling like we're you know, being authentic and if we can't express ourselves, because then that creates it its own challenges in and of itself. I am more inclined to have conversations with clients about how they feel as individuals and what do they see playing out in environment or an environment that may be prone to a social construct that are similar to patterns that may play out in other environments in their life, And then what does that mean to you? Because if you received the same messaging at work as you received at church or you know, from your partner, maybe that has to do with how society views women. But you know, maybe that has to do with how you show up as an individual, and you know, are you showing up as an individual the way that you want to show up as an individual versus how you want other people to see you? And so what does that mean to you ultimately who you are as a person, and then how is that playing out in the environments that you're in. The other piece, too, is are you getting the results that you want? Because while there is some truth to sexism and racism, we still have to function in vi fignments that are not necessarily always welcoming of us. And so paying attention to if the results that we're receiving are the results that we want, and you know, are there ways to still be authentic and to receive the results that we're looking for is often a conversation that I have with my clients as well. Yeah, and I do think it's important to also think about like how you may have changed your behavior to you know, maybe show up in an environment that wasn't very welcoming, but it's not actually something that you want to continue. And also like maybe you have gotten really hardened or when you have, you know, use anger or something as a way because you felt like you needed to in those moments, but maybe that type of behavior is no longer serving you. So is there something that you can take off at some point and say, Okay, I don't have to be this person anymore, right, right, because ultimately we are with some total of our experiences. But if you pay attention to your experiences and your behavior is enough to know that, yes, I might be more client to respond this way because of things I've been through. You can choose to do something different, right, You can make a choice to do something different, And I think that that is not something that's ingrained enough in us, you know, like we're often sort of told, well, I am who I am, and you either like me or you don't like me, or you love me or you don't love me, and just you know, take me as I am. And while some of that is true, you know, people really don't have to take you as you are. Okay, you can make the choice to you know, not take you at all and just put you back. Right, So you have to know if that's okay with you, You know, if you need to function differently to be able to have the life that you want to have, not the life that was given to you because of the experiences that you've been very good place. So what is our tea, Melissa? So our t is time. Time. Healing is not something that is going to happen overnight. You know, Once again, as I said earlier, there's always this magic question, you know that I hear so many clients acts when they begin services. Is so tell me how many sessions? You know, will it take for me to feel better? And so do I have to come here, you know, twice a week for six months? And I'm like uh, and then like that way, you know, like this is the kind of rest that I do. And you know, there are absolutely some great you know, re therapeutic treatments and some like manualized treatments that might take you up through certain steps in a certain period of time. But then even with those modalities, they can't really tell you exactly how you're going to feel and by when right. We can talk about learning certain skills, we can talk about practicing certain things. We may even be in a place where we're developing your plan. But to really get to this point where you are engaged and you're healing and you're noticing not your responses to your experiences are different, it takes time and it's different or every single person. I think the more that you can be comfortable or to you know, learn to be comfortable with the process, then I think that it, you know, gives you the opportunity to you know, take your time, you know, give yourself some grace, be gentle with yourself, but to also do better for yourself the next time, to not engage in the same patterns the next time. The more we try to rush the process, so we try to you know, stuff our feelings away, or we try to you know, time ourselves with the process, the more inclined you are to engage in the same patterns of behavior that would cause you to you know, make the same mistakes or to have the same results that are creating this very pain that you're trying to get away from, so you'll find yourself in the same situation again. So you know, definitely give yourself some time to heal. Yeah, I really like the way that you put them in listen, in terms of giving yourself grave, giving yourself time, but also holding yourself accountable for maybe doing better the next time, because I think when you go too far on either of those extremes, right then you are not getting closer to the results that you say you wanted. Whether you are too lenient with yourself or too critical of yourself, then for both of those things, you're moving further away from your results. Right. Accountability is critical because we were often so used to what we do and we do what we do, and we know how to do what we do well that you know, either we are overly critical as you stated, you know, or we can be so lenient with ourselves because it's that place that we feel most comfortable, because we don't want to be uncomfortable. We don't want to feel you know, that we're you know, not understanding our own path in this moment. And so what that does is it, you know, allows us to kind of go back to what we used to do. And yeah, so we have to hold ourselves accountable for doing something different and for doing the work right for you know, for being mindful about our reactions, engaging in our plan, and for doing the things that we know we need to do two before in our healing. So this is incredible information and listen, but I'm also thinking of, like what's the line. So I do think it's really important to like make a plan, like you said, and you know, we still have to show up for life even though it's difficult. But I do think, of course that there are times where like you just cannot even get to that place right, Like, so you may need to consider like a leave of absence from work, or you need to consider taking a semester off. Can you talk about where that line would be, Like, how do you know when to make this plan for yourself and when you maybe do need to take a break. So I think we should all have a plan consistently about what we need. You know, when we know that, we respond a certain way to difficult times. Like for instance, I read suddenly went through a lot of life transitions. It felt like all at the same time. Basically as I worked through my own um processes with these transitions, I had a particular day where I was instantly triggered by something. I mean literally, I had a moment I saw someone and I was angry. I was angry, but because I have a good friend, I know that this is someone I can talk to when I need support. I know exactly who the call, I knew exactly what to say, I knew how she was gonna respond, and within minutes it assisted me in resolving a moment that in the past for me, like really would have sent me on a spial throughout the course of my whole day. Right, So I think that we all should have a plan. We should all know basic things about ourselves and support systems that we need to be able to make it through. You know, like there are times when you need to disconnect, and there are times when you need to take time for yourself so that you can really really focus on your healing. And the thing about that is functioning. If you absolutely cannot function, like your mood is so low that you're not able to get up out of bed, you're not able to take care of the basic necessities that you need, and you can't even really put one foot in front the other, then you might need to take a leave of absence. You might need to call in sick on a particular day. You might need to, you know, take some time to regroup. And that is also okay. That is also something that can be a part of a plan for you, because if you don't have enough savings, if you don't have any sick time, if you don't have a job that allows you to take any kind of medical leave, then like that can create some barriers for you. So if you like know yourself well enough that you know that you have these moments in life where you need to sort of take a step back, then you can always put the proper measures in place to be able to do what you need to do to keep yourself safe. I do think that that is an important line, and you know, like you said, an important distinction to know, Okay, we do I need to keep you know, working the plan or do I need to take a step back so that I can get to you a place where I'm more functional? Yeah, definitely, And you know, and I mean everything really works together in tandem too. I think we tend to think about things from a perspective of like all or nothing. But you know, maybe taking a step back is your safe space, right, you know, maybe that is your compartmentalization for like this moment in time, and like not being afraid to check in with yourself consistently through your process. I think that's a part of the time piece too, because you know, once again, like healing isn't linear, right, So you might have a good day to day and then you might have a day tomorrow that you know, really set you to a place where you need to take a step back for to day, but then yesterday you were able to fully engage. So being able to like jump in and out of the process as you need is a part of you know one, understanding yourself and also giving yourself time love it. So, Melissa, are there any additional resources that you would have particular to this beyond the ones that you shared UM in the last episode. Yes. So, Burnet Brown has an amazing book that's called Rising Strong UM. And you know in that book she talks tangibly about a lot of different that's and this you know process of you know, how to heal and to reconcile with you know, different um pain points or experiences in your life and to understand yourself better through the healing process. So I think that that is an amazing book that I do recommend to people as well. Got you and remind us where we can find you online, Melissa, your website as well as your social media handles. So my website is Melissa I Felt, M E L I S S A I S as in Strength I L dot com. And my Instagram, which is where I took the who he am is Melissa I Phoe L C S. W perfect. Of course, all that will be in the show notes for people to find it. Well, thank you for joining us again, Melissa. I really appreciate you coming back to chat with us, saying here saying may thank you so much for having me and I always loved talking to you. Thank you. I'm so thankful Melissa was able to come back and share her expertise with us today. To find out more information about her practice or to check out the resources that she shared, visit the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot Com slash Session ninety eight, and don't forget to show some support for our sponsor for this episode, Naturaligious. It's the world's first vegan high performance hair caroline that delivers the results of twelve products in only three You can find the products in over twelve hundred Sally stores nationwide or online at saftime on wash day dot com. Remember that if you're searching for a therapist in your area, check out our directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory, and make sure to visit our online store at Therapy for Black Girls dot Com slash shouts, where you can find our guided affirmation track, break up journal, and your Therapy for Black Girls sweatshirts and T shirts. Thank y'all so much for joining me again this week. I look forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Take it care, part of a hotter

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