The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.
Another year has unfolded for the Therapy For Black Girls Podcast, bringing with it an abundance of enriching conversations, enlightening guest contributions, and thought-provoking gems. If you've missed an episode, don’t worry, because today we’re revisiting the top 10 most listened-to episodes of the podcast. From the profound to the hilarious, we have something for everyone, so cozy up, grab a snack, and enjoy our best of 2023.
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Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session three thirty seven the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get right into our conversation after a word from our sponsors introducing our new Therapy for Black Girls Holiday gift collection. Our new ensemble of drinkwaar totes, journals and sweaters were made to remind you of the importance of centering your mental health. Purchase your tvg gifts at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash shop. Happy Holidays, y'all, remember to take good care and give good gifts. Another year has unfolded for the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, bringing with it an abundance of enriching conversations, enlightening guest contributions, and thought provoking gems. If you happen to miss an episode, don't worry, because today we're revisiting the top ten most listening to episodes of the podcast this year. From the profound to the hilarious, we have something for everyone, so cozy up, grab a snack, and enjoy our twenty twenty three best of. As always, if something resonates with you while enjoying this episode, please share with us on social media using the hashtag TBG in session or join us over in the Sister Circle to talk more about the episode. You can join us at community dot therapy for Blackgirls dot com. Here's our countdown. Coming in at number ten of our most listened to episodes of the year is Session three h two, The Truth about imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism. In this conversation, myself and licensed psychologist doctor Lisa Orbey Austin broke down what exactly imposter syndrome is, why and how self sabotage might show up unannounced to the party that is your life, and why claiming to be a perfectionist is no that's the kind of sorority you want to be a part of. Here's one of my favorite gyms from this episode. So let us break it all down for people who are joining us for this conversation and talk about what does it mean to have imposter syndrome? Like, what is the definition of imposter syndrome?
Yeah, So, imposter syndrome is when you are skilled, qualified, expert, even have credentials, but you haven't internalized them, and as a result of not internalizing them, you then have performance anxiety about the things that you do. That performance anxiety often leads to either self sabotage where you set yourself up for failure, or where you overwork or overfunction to cover this idea that you are actually fraudulent. Once you receive performance feedback, typically you either like negate or get rid of any positive feedback around your performance, and then if there's any critical feedback about your performance, you hyper focus on it with this idea that you'll never make that mistake ever again, and then you get caught in the cycle all over again. So it's a kind of cyclical thing that begins with trigger where you're kind of feeling like a fraud and that you're not going to enough.
So you mentioned a little while ago that there definitely are strategies and interventions that people can try to work through imposter syndrome. Can you say a little bit about the things that we're helpful for you and working through imposter syndrome and also other things people might be interested in trying.
One of them is really learning how to identify automatic negative thoughts when you're triggered, and then how to counter them with basic CPT methodology that really works really lovely with imposter syndrome. But the piece that we are working on identifying is what are those imposter syndrome thoughts that are happening. Oftentimes we have come to believe them is true, and really recognizing that they're not necessarily true and they're actually impeding or and reinforcing the imposter syndrome. Really is part of the work is being able to identify and distinguish them. One of the other pieces that we know that imposter syndrome causes a lot of overwork, so it causes burnout. That's significantly correlated to burnout. So one of the things that we often are teaching people how to do is how to really embrace and structure and prioritize self care in their lives and really find ways to kind of consider this as foundational. You don't get self care when whatever time's left over you're actually thinking about it, being very embedded.
So I wonder if you could share with us one mantra or affirmation that you share with yourself when your inner critic is louder than your inner cheerleader. That's a great question.
I think it's my husband's mantra, which is, when you work as hard for yourself as you do for others, you're going to be unstoppable. And I think for me that often doesn't mean just about work and also sometimes means about prioritizing myself. And I think you know that often when my inner critic is louder than my inner cheerleader, oftentimes I need to care for myself deeper, and I'm often losing connection to myself and that's when I start to focus on, Okay, what else do I need? Do my meditations need to go up in time? Do I need to make sure that I'm taking care of my body. Do I need to my mind like what's happening? And how do I need to serve myself. So I do often think about when I'm feeling most just regulated by all that I need to kind of care for myself in some particular way, and what is it? And I sort of take that moment to reflect back on that.
How do I need to serve myself? That's definitely going in my journal. I want you to want to take a guess at what this next pick is. Here's a hint. It shares a theme with one of the songs from Beyonce's groundbreaking Renaissance album. It's actually my favorite on the album. If you guess Session two ninety eight Church Hurt with doctor Taym O'Bryant, you were correct. In episode nine of our Countdown, we discussed the always important topic of how religious institutions can create more ethical standards to protect members from abuse.
Here's a snippet, and so we want to think about this phrase. If it is humiliating, it's not healing. If it's humiliating, it's not healing. So someone who is trying to help me even to be better or to grow, or to empower me in their presence, I don't feel like they are glorying in my embarrassment, right They're not celebrating and holding their power over me. They may have power because I respect them and they're insightful and they have some wisdom, But in the presence you think about wise counsel, wise loving counsel. When I'm in the presence of wisdom that is based in love, it actually sparks and inspires my growth, versus I'm in the presence of people who in order to feel good about themselves, they have to insult me or others, And it might not start with you. So you want to even pay attention to how are they treating others? Who is it that people are collectively laughing at and laughing about who gets diminished on the microphone in the pullpit?
Right?
And so what does it appear is the emotional maturity of the people who are in charge, right, If they are teasing, bullying, if primarily I feel they're just angry all the time, then this is not likely good ground for my spiritual growth.
I've been really encouraged to see more, you know, like mental health ministries in churches, and can you talk a little bit about why it's important for spirituality and like psychologists and other therapists and mental health professionals to be in alignment to have some of that kind of operating in the similary.
That's right, It's so important, and I'm grateful to be able to lead our mental health ministry at First Day at Me Church in Los Angeles. And it pushes back against the false choice that people need to either have faith or go to therapy. US working in collaboratation and communication is for the betterment of the community, right. And you know what I like to say for pastors is the importance of becoming comfortable making referrals to say that this untrained person, an uninformed person because they love God, is now in a position to take care of all of your mental health needs. It's not fair. It's not fair to the members, and it's also not fair to that minister who is not prepared. And so there's nothing shameful about making a referral while you will still provide the pastoral support to also encourage people to get help from professionals who are trained to address the issues so we work better together.
That last pick was amazing, and next up it's even more fire with session three oh three how trauma affects the brain. Taking the number eight spot, I think you'll enjoy this one. If you're interested to hear more about the science high generational trauma. Let's hear one of my favorite moments from this conversation with doctor Bianca Jones Morland. So, you know, we talk a lot about in psychology around like trauma getting tramped in the brain and like our body experiencing trauma. Can you talk about what actually happens in the brain when we have had a traumatic experience.
What happens in the brain when we have a traumatic experience. I'll start off by saying, I'm a firm believer that biology wants us to survive and thrive, So any change the body.
Has is a.
Hopeful potential adaptation to the stimulus. What we've come to see both as humans as we see this as we live on this earth and walk throughout life, but also as biologists, is that certain stressors, certain traumas change the way we respond to future stressors and traumas because we've learned a different response.
So that learning.
Mechanism, that's beautiful, that's in the brain, that's all established. Like I was well studied, I would say how the brain learns, and it would make sense that if you are let's give an example of like you're walking down the block and all of a sudden you walk past a baseball field and a ball comes whizzing behind you.
You jump back.
The next time you walk past that baseball field, you're going to keep your eyes offen both ways as you're crossing the street. That heightened alertness that will maybe very much aware of my surroundings is essential for your survival. You to get to work looking cute and then wherever you're going and not get hit by this baseball. But when you're walking throughout life and you're not just walking past a baseball field and you feel that constant at to be aware something that could happen, this is when it becomes maladaptive. So this is what really us as neuroscientists, the group of us that are studying these facets, are really looking at what does it mean to learn one experience, generalize it to experiences that really it doesn't fit, and then potentially even take those memories of that one bad experience that could have been helpful in learning something although it was unfortunate experience, and passing it down to the next generation where they don't live anywhere in your baseball court, but they feel that tension every time they walk down the street.
I have always thought, if trauma can be pais intergenerationally, can joy in the humor and all of those like negative things right like? Can tholes be passed intergenerationally as will?
That's an awesome question, and I'm going to answer you now as a human and out as a scientist, I do believe they are because as a Black American, there's no way that we could be here if we weren't for that that ability to say, you know what, you've gone through a lot for generations. But also strength is part of something I'm going to teach you. We're going to epigenetically have for survival and then therefore pass on as part of our being. Does it come up that's plus and minuses that word strength, that were diligence, that word resilience. Of course they're triggering at this point, especially after the last few years hearing them, but doesn't mean that there's not a truth in them. And so I personally believe that that's the case. Now when it comes to what we're studying in the lab, we're really focusing on the traumas first because I really hope that joy has passed down, and if love and joy have passed down, great, we have less work to do as scientists. But it's really the traumas that are going to need our brains and our attention our minds.
All right. Moving on to number seven on our list of most listening to episodes of the year is session two ninety two Quiet Firing and Life after Layoffs. We talked about the psychological effects of losing work and it clearly resonated with a lot of you. Here's a snippet of my conversation with community member Flow and doctor laf Washington.
So I found out that I lost my job over a zoo meeting or teams meeting, but a virtual meeting of some sort. It was around of September twenty twenty. It was during the pandemic, so there was a lot of uncertainty outside, and having to lose my job was another aspect of uncertainty. So for me, even though I may have I wounded that this day was going to come, just being called into that virtual meeting and hearing the woods well we no longer require your employment really stung. So I had to prepare myself. I tried to remain come. However, after I got.
Off the call.
Yeah, I cried, tears roll on my face. I remember, like my hands were trembling, and I picked up the phone and I called my significant other and I told him the news. I was like, yes, it was just confirmed. I've been laid off. Mind you, I had to work out the end of the month, So I had to show up every day for the remainder of the month of September, knowing that comely thirtieth that would be it. So yeah, it was a lot of managing emotions. Sometimes we want to take it personally, and I might say that I perhaps took it personally because it's almost as if someone is telling you knew personally like you are no longer wanted. It means not necessarily condemning your ability to do your job, and it's just the reality of an economic situation.
What kind of recommendations do you have for people, especially in the immediate aftermath of a layoff.
Yeah, it's tough, first of all. So let's just acknowledge it doesn't feel good and no one wants to be laid off, even if there's you know, a light at the end of the tunnel, and all of that, you have to give yourself time to process. It's a loss, and you may go through a grieving process around like this identity being shifted, and that's okay. Give yourself that time and space. I think once you move past those initial shock feelings and that initial anger or other things you may be feeling, think about it as a time to reevaluate and align your goals and interests. You know, reflect on that job that you are leaving. What parts of the job did you love and you can't wait to do again. What parts of the job just did not serve you and you will not miss and you don't want to recreate? Also, think it's an opportunity to reinvent yourself if you would like, right, this could be an opportunity to get into another career, explore hobbies that can be career oriented in the future, go back to school, like the sky is the limit. And so when we don't limit ourselves based on again our previously defined identities, we may find that we are going to do something that is totally different but much more fulfilling to us. So give yourself that space. And then finally, I say, tap into your community. Like it can be embarrassing, it can feel lonely. It's a hurtful place to be laid off, but your community is there for you right tap into your friends and family network, let them know when you're struggling. Don't grapple with feelings of depression or loss by yourself if you don't have to. That is the power of our community, and I encourage us, even in these tough and uncomfortable moments to lean into that.
I'm always so grateful for our guests for their insight and vulnerability. After more than five years building this podcast, it lifts my spirit to be creating a safe space for black women to share our knowledge and lived experiences. Speaking of getting sentimental, our next pick is an episode that is near and dear to my heart because it was the first time I revealed the release date of my debut book, Sisterhood Heels. There was no better way to celebrate this announcement than an incredible conversation about healthy friendships with the one and only Debbie Brown. Without further ado, this is number six on our list, Session two ninety five, a conversation on healthy Friendships with Debbie Brown.
Okay, you are in the midst of writing your first book, Doctor Joy and when I have a chance to kind of read up on what it was about. I feel so excited because this conversation your book, let me start by saying, is called Sisterhood Heels and it's set to release summer twenty twenty three. That title, Sisterhood Heels is so powerful, and I think we are in the midst of creating an entirely new template for what friendship can look like, and especially friendship among women and Black women. There seems to be this evolution in the air, this new understanding of emotional intelligence that people are trying to connect to.
So what is this book about?
Tell me that thing that's.
Exciting to chat with you about this divvy because I've also heard you talk about this. I know that this is something that's important to you as well.
You know.
But when I think about like who we have been as black women in like what our history and the country has been and in the world, a lot of our surviving and thriving is connected to one another. And I think I have seen that even more so in the pandemic right just around, like will aid exchanges and offering what you have to your community and to your neighbors, and all of those kinds of things. And so to me it is crystal clear, as it always has been, that to get through this thing called life, it has to be together, that we need to do this thing together. And so the book is really all about a lot of my experience has been in facilitating group therapy, and so the book is really about the lessons and things that I have learned from group therapy that can also help us in our individual sisterhoods. So how do we pay attention to the different dynamics that happen in sisterhoods and the changes and if unfortunately a sisterhood has to end, how do you navigate that in a way that's as compassionate and kind as possible.
Okay, take my money.
Wow, God, this is so needed.
This is so needed.
Thank y'all so much for everybody who has supported Sisterhood Heals so far. Thank you for joining us on the tour stops in Chicago, Miami, Atlanta, New York, Houston, and New Orleans. Thank you for tagging us on social media, for buying the book for yourself and your friends, family members, and most importantly, thank you for pouring into this collective sisterhood cracking the top five of our most listened to episodes of twenty twenty three is a conversation about a topic that I think many of us can relate to. It's the strong black woman trope. We explored this in session two ninety three, Black Women and the Superwoman Schema with doctor Cheryl Woods Giscombe. Take a listen. So, at what point did your research turn to the strong black woman or superwoman schema? How did you fall into that research?
It was during that time where you know, I was very much interested in the African American experience from high school and the courses I took in college, but also beginning to understand how adverse birth outcomes were disproportionately high among Black women and that stress was a factor and racism as a stressor was important to study. So those foundational elements of my education helped me to see that the way that we measure stress, or the way that we were measuring stress and research and this is like the late nineteen nineties early two thousands was not nuanced.
Enough to.
Understand the ways that Black women experienced stress and the ways they chose to cope, and definitely wasn't nuanced enough to help us understand how stress influenced health outcomes, and so I came across literature, lay literature like I Said's magazine literature written by noted black femail authors, but also the research literature suggesting that gender and race were important factors and how we measure stress. But what we weren't doing was measuring this concept that we now called the strong Black woman or the black superwoman, where black women appear and we are very much strong. However, there's more to it than what meets the eye, and so during my dissertation, my advisor allowed me to ask some exploratory questions informed by the literature, about things such as perceived obligation to be strong. And at that time I was really interested in emotional suppression and how emotional suppression. The literature was suggesting for broader populations that emotional expression was healthy, that it strengthened the immune system protected against the common cold. And so if we were suppressing emotions due to perceived obligations or related to perceived obligations to be strong, that made me concern that it was maybe weakening our immune system and weakening our health. My dissertation led me to do some qualitative research with black women from various age groups and educational backgrounds, and that's where that concept of Superwoman's schema became expanded in response to the data that we collected to have five characteristics, which is that perceived obligation to be strong or to present image of strength, as well as perceived obligations to suppress emotions, resistance to being vulnerable or receiving help from others. That's the third characteristic, motivation to succeed despite limited resources, and we all prioritization of caregiving over self care.
And I think I.
Listed all five.
Yes.
So those five characteristics were derived from the qualitative data that was collected, and then a series of studies that I conducted and now that many other researchers are conducting, confirm that those categories. And now we're showing relationships between Superwoman's schema characteristics and health resilience as well as adverse health effects.
So you know that, to Sharyl, my experience with a lot of black women is that we do not even recognize that we are headed towards a brick wall until we are crashed into it. And so I wonder if you can offer some suggestions around how people might even know that they are struggling with the superwoman syndrome.
Yeah, I think again. I think that's why it's really important for us to have some form of mind body practice. It could be mindfulness, it could be yoga, it could be other forms of meditation, it could be your spiritual practices, because those are the things that help us to slow down and recognize that things are off balance. And oftentimes you're right. That's when we notice is when we've gone too far, where we crash or there's a burnout. I mean, I'm not trying to advocate for crashing or burnout, but I also want women to know that we have what is enthusiasm right about making things better and helping other people.
And when we.
Notice that, it's okay to step back and rest and let people know that I'm out of the office or I'm on vacation, or I'm taking a Facebook fast or all the different things that people do. So I think the biggest way is to have friends that our accountability partners. Others also might benefit from formal therapy, you know, having someone that you check in with on a regular basis, which can be a proactive way of preventing things from getting out of the hand or dealing with things when they've gotten too far and then maintaining that. So I think having a variety of strategies is important for sure.
More from our countdown after the break. Okay, now, I don't mean to make you hungry. Oh maybe I do. But the number four spot on our most listened to episodes the list of twenty twenty three is session two ninety growing Foods at Home. In this episode, I spoke with internationally recognized urban former Jimilla Norman about the rich and empowering history of black folks stewarting the land and how you can get started with gardening. Here's a snippet of our conversation. Something else did you talk about is food sovereignty, So can you say a little bit about what that means to you and how it impacts us as black folks.
Food sovereignty is really about having control of the food that you're consuming, having access to it, and also food that's culturally relevant, food that is necessary for your cultural expression through food, because food is culture, and just being in the position to be part of creating food that is feeding your community. Right, you're cultivating that food with a certain type of intention of healing of growth, the culture of the githerness, and so that is going to carry on through the people that are engaging with you, that are buying from you, that are all of that. And people want to see themselves reflected in the things that they're engaged with. If you're going healthy or going to the farming table movement or what have you, and it all looks like everybody else feel like there's a space for you there, or that you should be there, or was like that ain't for me, you know, people say that that ain't O think, Yeah it is. It's actually was I think before it was anybody else's thing. I'll be going off on people's stuff. Look here, let's talk about history. So it's really important for us to get connected. And again, like I said, everybody doesn't have to be a farmer, doesn't have to get into farming, but being connected to it, engaging with it. Find your black farmers, support them. If there's an opportunity to bring that to your school or your community or your neighborhood, support it in some way and just uplift and highlight and just do the work of being connected in some way.
We have reached the top three of our most listened to episodes of the year, and I know you all are as curious as I am to know what topics resonated the most capturing. The number three spot on our list is Session two eighty nine, an astrological preview of twenty twenty three. I love that we're able to revisit this episode at the end of the year to see what the star's got just right enjoying this clip from my conversation with astrologer and author Mecca Woods. So, what kinds of themes, what kinds of things should we just be mindful about for three?
Yeah, No, I think that's a great question, and it's something that I'm still pondering and kind of thinking about in terms of what things look like, but so far without getting too in the weeds about it. One of the planetary shifts that's happening next year is that planet Pluto is moving from Capricorn into the sign of Aquarius. Right now, Pluto is in astrology, the planet that's associated with power and rebirth. So since roughly about two thousand and eight, we've had Pluto transiting the sign or moving, you know, stations in the sign of Capricorn, and that is what we saw in terms of the bank collapsing back in two thousand and eight. Up until this point, we've seen a lot of greed and corruption and a lot of like corporations and governments, you know, just running unchecked. You know, like a lot of power kind of running unchecked. Right, And that's the dark side or the shadowy side of Pluto's job is to show us things that need to be changed.
You know.
It forces us to really take a hard look at the things that are going on so that we can actually do something about it. Right, And a lot of times the things that Pluto shows us are typically things that are ugly, you know, things that aren't so nice.
And so now.
Coming up in March of twenty twenty three, Pluto will enter Aquarius and stay there for a few months, because it will kind of go back and forth between Aquarius and Capricorn next year, but it'll officially make it stay in Aquarius in early twenty twenty four January twenty twenty four. But what this basically means is that, you know, Aquarius is a sign that is very group oriented, very collective oriented. So if we talked about Pluto and Aquarius, there is a very much like a power to the people sentiment that comes with that particular placement. But here's the thing about that, right. I think when we talk about astrology, I always try to stress to people that there's two ways that we can use the energy or the tools that are available to us. Right, we can do it in a way where we are expressing the positive side, or we can go down, you know, into the negative side. Right, there's a low vibrational side, if you will. But when we talk about this Pluto and Aquarius story, like I would like to see, I think what we will see is like more people organizing and pushing back against the corruption and the injustice and the you know, the corporate greed that we've been seeing over the past couple of years that've just kind of getting worse and worse as the days gone. I think that we're going to see more people banding together, whether it be trying to form unions in their place of work or thinking about how they can revamp the legal system, people doing work in their own individual way, banding together to create and foster change, which is very Pluto and Aquarius. However, right, the downside of that is that I do think that we're going to have to still keep an eye on that extremism that we've been seeing over the past couple of years, because one of the things about Aquarius is that it can be group oriented in the sense of like, yeah, let's work together, let's be a community, let's make things happen, but it can also foster the sentiment of let's tear it all down, let's burn it all down, that sort of extremist, you know, or fundamentalist sort of mentality. And so we've already saw a little bit gotten a taste of that already over this past year, especially with some of the domestic terrorism that's been taking place. So I do think that's something that we're going to have to continue to watch and be mindful of. But I do think that, you know, if we are able to continue doing the work that Pluto is calling us to do, which is calling out the corruption and the injustice and the cruelty and all of the things that we've been seeing, I think it will empower us to actually be able to make some deep and profound and lasting changes.
Who I'm going to need a second to process the fact that Mecca just accurately predicted the kind of twenty twenty three many of us ended up living through. Twenty twenty three was most certainly a year for groups coming together to enact changed against corruption and injustice. While I get my chart in order for twenty twenty four, y'all get into this next pick. It's a part of our series that has been so much fun to bring to life. Our next featured episode was the first release of the year year and our second most listened to episode of twenty twenty three, Session two eighty eight Setting your intentions for travel with Jessica Nabongo, who is the first black woman to have traveled to every country in the world. Let's roll the clip. If somebody is unfamiliar kind of getting started with their you know, bitten by the travel bug, how do they decide what kind of trip they want to have?
I mean, I think it's so important to focus on your preferences and your desires and what you enjoy doing. So if you enjoy the beach, then focused on beach locations. If you enjoy city skates, then do that. So I think it really has to come from a place of what are you most interested in doing and if it's like one of your first trips, definitely what you're going to feel most comfortable to it.
That's the most important thing.
So you encourage people who want to travel more to prioritize their travels. Can you say what this looks like in a tangible sense?
Yeah?
Absolutely. I think what it looks like is, you know, if you're preparing for a trip, it's putting money away every paycheck in the same way that you would put away money for a car, put away money for a house. If you really want to start traveling and make it a part of your regular life, you have to put that money away. So that might mean that you're cutting back on other things. Right, So if it's the expensive coffee that you're not having any every single day, or you know, you're going out with your girlfriends and you usually have three drinks, maybe just have one so that you can save that money. I think that's important. The other thing that I do is I use credit cards with travel rewards, so I don't pay cash for anything in my life, unless it's like tips or you know, they only accept cash. I use my travel cards for every single thing because then I get all of those points and I'm like any my points, and you know, when you're spending at like restaurants, like for example, the Chase that fire. If you're spending at restaurants, you get I think three or five times of points. If you're spending on travel, which includes ubers and everything, then you get like it's either three or five times points. And so those sorts of things are just great because the money that you're spending anyway on groceries on your uber turns into free.
Travel in addition to shopping at the markets. Are there other ways when we're traveling abroad that we can make sure that we are using our dollars in a way that supports the local economy.
Tip tip tip, tip tip tip. You know, I think tip your housekeepers in the hotel, tip your drivers, dorman, you know what I mean when you eat, because in most countries outside of the US, tipping is not standard, especially in restaurants. It's just not standards. So I think, just find ways to tip, because that's putting money directly in someone's pocket, you know. And I think when it comes to travel agencies and tour guides, try to find locally owned companies. Especially in a lot of like African and Asian countries, you'll find that French people own it. Or British people own it, so really try to dig a little deeper and find places that are locally owned, because that means that money is staying in the country versus like you're spending your money and it's going back to Paris or London.
More from our countdown after the break. All right, y'all, we have made it to the number one most listened to episode of the year, and this episode is all about the Benjamins. The fact that this conversation took the top spot. Lets me know, y'all clearly said the intention of getting to the bag this year, and I hope we assisted you with that goal with this conversation. Introducing our number one most listened to episode of the year, Session two ninety one Getting Good with Money with Tiffany the Budgetnista Elitching. So can you give us a crash course in these ten components of financial wholeness?
I sir, kept, you know what, let me go ahead and get Good with Money. This is my dad a black moment.
There we go.
So this is my dear const syally book, Get Good with Money, and I wrote it in response to the literally tens of thousands of questions I used to get every day, and the teacher in me was just like, oh, man, like I wish I had like a tool to give people when I'm not here. I wanted something like a legacy that they can hear my voice and go through the lessons without having me to sit next to them like I used to when I first started budgeting stuff.
So first thing is budgeting. You have to get your budget under control. That's number one. And each of these ten will let.
You know if you have reached one hundred percent of financial hollness. So do you have a budget it is it semi automated? Two is saving? Have you mastered saving? And is that automated as well? Three is debt. You don't have to be debt free, but do you have a debt plan in place that is actively working on your behalf automated as well, so you'd have to set it and semi forget it, so you have a debt plan in place that's working for you.
Four is your credit.
Ideally you want to have a credit score of seven forty or above. Seven forty is the beginning of perfect credit. Some of your friends are like, oh, I got a eight hundred. It's like that's cute, Sis, We don't need all that. Once you have a seven forty, you and I can get the same interest.
Rate, So that's four.
Five is learning to earn, and so this is critical because I think everyone thinks that the key to mastering their money, especially for black folks, is to spend less, and that's not true. You have to sometimes learn to bring more income in. Sometimes that's the solution. So learning to earn, whether it's getting a raise at work or finding external income from your normal job. Six is investing for both retirement and wealth. There's a distinction because when you invest for retirement, that is so you can maintain your current lifestyle. So look around this how you're going to live when you are older, your current lifestyle. Investing for wealth, though, allows you to increase your lifestyle and to leave a legacy. But retirement comes first, So solidify your current lifestyle first.
Six is getting good with insurance. So many people don't understand the power and the purpose of insurance.
Insurance is there to protect your assets. So when I first started working with Angeli, she was like, girl, you are in short like you're twenty five.
It was like, but I look twenty five. She's like, but you're not.
So she was like, you now have this successful business, you have properties, and you don't have enough insurance to protect your assets in case one something happens to you or two something happens on your properties, and so I have to increase my insurance. So understanding and having enough insurance. Seven is net worth.
So your net worth is just what you own minus what you owe, and you want to have a positive networth.
You want to own more than you own.
You do this by increasing your assets and decreasing your liabilities. Eight is your financial team.
Money is a team sport. You should not be out here doing it alone. At the very least, you should have an accountability partner. It could be your work hubby, it could be your best to, your cousin, your mom, or your dad, someone that you're connected with that wants to see you win and you want to see them win as well. And less, but not least. Ten is a state planning. So this is really important, especially for us as a black community, because so many of us don't have the estate in place. That is something should happen to us, and you know, I'll see you on Wealth ISLANDSS. It's cute over here.
Again. Thank you to our incredible guests and our community members who lent their voices to the Therapy for Black Girls podcast this year. I want to thank you all so much for your support and for making this an unforgettable year for the podcast. You may have noticed that a significant portion of our top ten this year came from our January Jumpstar series. Well, I'm excited to announce that we will be continuing the series for the third year in twenty twenty four, so stay tuned for even more amazing insights. To stay connected with us at Therapy for Black Girls, be sure to visit the website at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, be sure to visit our therapist directory at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue this conversation or just be in community with other sisters, come on over and join us in the Sister Circle. It's our cozy corner of the Internet designed just for black women. You can join us at community dot Therapy for Black Girls dot com. This episode was produced by Frida Lucas, Elise Ellis, and Zarius Taylor. Editing was done by Dennison Bradford. Thank y'all so much for joining me again this week. I look forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care.
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