Bonus: Resilience in Business

Published Feb 21, 2020, 8:00 AM
In part 2 of the series, you’ll hear my conversation with Melissa Butler of The Lip Bar. Melissa and I chatted about her journey in starting the lip bar, the grief that comes with scaling a business, what she’s learned from disappointments and rejections, and how she takes care of her mental health while also taking care of her business. 

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

M Hey y'all, this is Dr Joy from the Therapy for Black Girls podcasts, and this is a booster session. As a reminder, the information included is meant to be educational and entertaining, but is not a substitute for relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, I'm back with part two of our series about Black women in business. This series is being brought to you with the support of Visor. At Visor, they apply science and their global resources to bring therapies to people that extend and significantly improve their lives. For more than one hundred and fifty years, they have worked to make a difference for all who rely on them. They're committed to providing breakthroughs that change patients lives. Find out more at Visor dot com. That's p f I z Or dot com. I'm partnering with Fiser on this series. As we count down to this year's Black Enterprise Women of Power Summit, which will be held in March fifth through the eighth in Las Vegas. I'll be speaking in the Visor booth during the summit about how our mental health is impacted by our experiences in the workplace and entrepreneurship. In leadership roles and in relationships with others, and I wanted to kick things off by having some of the conversations here on the podcast. Today, you'll hear my conversation with Melissa Butler. Melissa is a Detroit native who has skillfully and strategically launched a start up beauty brand, the lip Boar, into a nationwide phenomenon. Melissa obtained her bachelor's degree in business finance from Florida A and M University before going on to work on Wall Street as a licensed stockbroker. Her journey from stocks and bonds to beauty is one that she describes as natural, not because she loved makeup, but because she was frustrated with the industry and therefore created a solution. More than four hundred and fifty targets stores later, and a flagship store in Detroit, Melissa continues to innovate in the beauty space. Melissa and I chatted about her journey and starting the Little Bore, the grief that comes with scaling a business, what she has learned from disappointments and rejections, and how she takes care of her mental health while also taking care of her business. If you hear something while listening that resonates with you. Please be sure to share it with us on social media using the hashtag tv G in session. Here's our conversation. So I'm very excited to have you with us today, Melissa. So I knew that I wanted to do a series, and I knew that I wanted to talk about developing resilience and overcoming obstacles in business, and you were the first person I thought of. So I'm really happy, really happy for you to be with us today. So I do want to get a little background for people who might not be familiar with Melissa and the lip Boy. Can you just tell us a little bit about how um the idea of developing a cosmetics company came to you. So I started the lit Bar in two thousand and twelves and I had been working on it for a good fifteen eighteen months something like that, And it really just came from my frustration with the beauty industry, its successive amounts of chemicals, it's lack of diversity, just this idea that beauty looks like one thing. And I was like, you know what, we don't have to sit into this this box, like we don't have to follow the rules that we didn't create. So I'm going to create a cosmetic company that that's all about increasing diversity and challenging the beauty standard and ultimately letting our customers know that they are enough. And like that frustration is what led me to making lipstick in my kitchen, and of the first three years, every single product was made by my bare hands, and and and it's just in an incredible journey our and target stores across the country. We've expanded heavily beyond lip because for a long time, it was only live and now we have, you know, a makeup system that makes sure makeup routine as easy as possible. So it's fun. It's hard. Oh it's so hard. Oh god, it's so hard. But also it's like super fulfilling. Yeah. So when you say it's really hard, what are the hardest points for you? Oh god, I mean so many things are hard. Every day is different, right, And so that's that's the biggest thing about entrepreneurship, just knowing that the only thing that's constant is changed. So today I might be having an issue with my supplier, Tomorrow I might be having an issue with one of my staff members. The next day, it could be like, oh, wait, we need money to do X, Y and Z, or you know, maybe we have an angry customer. Every day is different in the priorities shift every day, um and and as a CEO, as a lead eater, I have to focus on what's most important, like what's going to be the biggest thing that moves the needle. And that's that's where it gets tough because when it's your babies, you like being in the in the in the mix of it. You like being like at the ground for you want to make sure everything is okay. And sometimes as a CEO and as a leader, you can't do that because if you're always focusing on today, who's going to focus on tomorrow. I love that you shared that because you know, you mentioned that all of the products started being handmade by you in your kitchen and now you are in Target stores across the country, right, And so I would imagine that even though you're excited about the growth, there is still some loss related to it not being such a small operation anymore. Oh, there's there's always you know that loss like some of the creatives when you when you're thinking about like CEO and leadership level, like maybe you're not as um in tune with all of the creative pieces or what the customer sees or you, or even how people respond to your customers as it released the customer service. Like you know, I'm not I'm not as much in the weeds, but like the weeds can be fun. Like I really love the creative process. We have an amazing creative director. Her name is Roscoe. She's the person who brings every visual that you see to life essentially, and I'm still heavily involved, like we're going over pictures together. Sometimes sometimes I'm creating the concept, but you know, she's the person that brings it to life. And and sometimes I missed I missed some of that knitt equity. Yeah, that's the point that you enjoy, right, the point that really made you good at beginning the business in the first place. Well exactly, because I mean at one point I did everything, uh shift all the orders, I responded to all the customer service emails, I made all of the product. I you know, it was it was very much so like I was building this thing, which is really cool because it allowed me to learn so many areas of the business. And and I'm a very fast learner and I'm a risk taker, so I'm able to process information very quickly, and you know, with some things that are happening within the team or within the company, I'm like, oh, let's just do that. It's like very simple for me. But it's because I understand how everything impacts everything. And really that's that's the biggest thing for a small business. Everyone's job is important. What everyone does impacts the customer in some in some way, shape or form. Everything um impacts like our ability to convert a newer potential customer. So it's just like understanding how those dots connect and really being able to guide your team to give them purpose and what they're doing. M Yeah. And do you remember if there was a point at which you realize that you were going to have to kind of get out of the weeds and kind of transition yourself more into the leadership CEO rule. I mean, yeah, I think from the from the beginning, like I had no business making LISTI you know, certainly wasn't the best, all right, I mean I wasn't the best person to make LISTI there were people who had skill fit better than me, that there were people who could do it faster, than me, and more efficiently than me, and and even at a cheaper cost than me. But for some reason, for several years I made the products. But honestly, I think that was my that was my learning ground, Like I needed to do all those things to learn And honestly, we weren't a real business until I stopped making it. So when I stopped making all the products in my kitchen, then I was able to start focusing on leadership type stuff. And so even now today, I tell my team, like, if I have to worry about a discount code, or if I have to worry about social media, then we might as well stop, because it's like if I can't, if I can't think about the big things, then who's going to think about it. So that was a realization that that I made a couple of years in, you know, because the liper absolutely started as a lifestyle business. It was it was yeah, it was, it was a lifestyle business and and we've morphed into into a real business that's in retail stores with you know, I think we have over a hundred excuse now. It's crazy because we started with twelve and yeah, it's fun and it's exciting, but like I said, it's it's difficult, especially when you're so emotionally connected to it. How have you dealt with disappointments and rejections and growing your business as a business owner and and entrepreneurship. You get told no every single day, things go wrong every single day, like literally every single day. And I think that that's that's really what what differentiates a business owner. It's really having that understanding like that things aren't always going to go right and and being okay with it and just being like, oh, yeah, that's normal because everything isn't for everyone and that's totally fine, right. And what do you think helped you to develop that residience? I mean, especially it sounds like you know you, like you mentioned, you started as a lifestyle business, so you weren't expecting to have the hundreds of excuse that you have now. And so I would imagine that going into a business that you're not expecting to a scale in the way that it has, you maybe didn't have the resilience skills. So what kinds of things have allowed you to develop the resilience to kind of bounce back from the nose? Well, honestly, I always expected the list are to be big. I just didn't know how to get there. I didn't know anything about business until I started a business, and throughout this journey, I've basically been building my plane in the sky. So but I've always started the company thinking that we would be big, like thinking that we would be bigger than we are now. So I actually fight that more often. I'm like, you know, stop stop thinking that you should be like the word of the idea of ship, like just allowing things to be. So I think that resilience just comes from like the fact that I'm a super determined person. Um, I don't take no for an answer, and I think that everything has a solution, Like I truly believe that there's a solution to everything. So earlier when I mentioned, you know, me learning every part of the business allows me to be able to make a asion very quickly and just look and really identify the true problem or the true root. Cause I think those are the things that allowed me to be resilient because it's like I have an understanding of the knowledge now and it's like, oh, it's fine, it's fine. Things go wrong all the time. It's fine. Yeah, that's kind of how I'm like, Yeah, and it sounds like you have a pretty involved team that you trust to kind of help with that decision making as well. Yeah, I mean I I puished my team so hard man, um a lot of times they hate me, and I think that's what what a small business is oftentimes. Like I read a lot of business bios on everyone from Steve Jobs to just face those and you know, these these leaders from these very admired companies that we have, and it's kind of like looking at their story and understanding that sometimes just that passion and it's that relentlessness that allows them to become these sue first our companies essentially. And so I pushed my team the way I push myself, but as a business owner, like I'm fine with pushing myself because it's again, it's so emotionally attached to me, and I'm trying to figure out how to create a balance there with with my team because I worked them and they're they're really, really awesome, and I'm always pushing for more. I'm never satisfied, um, and I don't give myself a lot of paths on the deck. But that's not that's not the behavior of a really good leader. And so that's something that I'm actually working on. Mmmm. I love that you are so insightful as you're talking about, Like, Okay, yes, these are the things that I do really well, but these are also some things that I'm struggling with that I know I want to grow in this area. Yeah, you just gotta be honest with yourself in life, like that is what life is about. Like know who the hell you are, and like be comfortable in that, be comfortable with it, and make the changes that you want to see or don't, but at least acknowledge that you know it is what it is like. Don't don't be blind to to how you show up in the world. I'm certainly not a person that's lit and I'm very Um. We're reflective, and I understand who I am and how I show up and and that honestly, like the way I show up is my superpower. Mm hmm. And how would you describe the way you show up? Um? I can be very aggressive, I can be direct. I'm also fun and playful. I am a person who gets things done like I am an executor. I move very fast, and I'm okay with that. That's not a work environment. That's okay with everyone and that's fine, you know. So now when we interview people, I asked them like, how do you how do you feel with like in fast paced environments? How do you feel about direct feedback? Like are these things that's gonna bother you? If like im, I say, hey, what happens to this the first thing in the morning? Is that gonna like is that gonna really like sit in a in a negative space with you? Because if it does, and this is probably not the right work environment, like never disrespectful, but always just like very honest. So I am a very honest person. More than anything, I'm gonna tell you if it was right. I'm gonna tell you if it was wrong. You know a lot of people are like the sandwich method. I'm not good at the sandwich method. I understand it. I think it's a I think it's a brilliant concept. But typically I'm just like, hey, this is awf or hey that was great, Like it's just there's there's no in between. I hate gray areas. I hate them all. I hate them, especially in any relationship, whether it's personal, professional, intimate. Like I hate gray areas like I just I just want to know. I want us to be very honest about where it is and what it is, because it always is going to be whatever it is, so there's no there's no need to tiptoe around it. So I did an episode of the podcast a couple of weeks ago about protecting your dream and talking about how sometimes when our dream is in its infancy, you have to be very careful not to share it with like a whole bunch of people who might not be able to be as excited about your dream as you are. How have you been able to protect your dream? Oh, this is a great question. You know, I kind of talked too much to be honest. So, UM, I think it's just about knowing who to share it with, because I think that there's always value in in putting this idea out there and getting perspective from people who you think are going to be like your target audience, or who you respect with it, business or whatever it is. You know, whether it's business or personal, it doesn't even matter, but you know you putting it out there with someone who's either done what you want to do. Um. And that can be as simple as like, oh, I want to get married, let me talk to a married couple about what this looks like or I want to start a beauty business. Let me talk to Melissa about Layer from lit Bar on what that looks like. There's there's so much value in connecting with people who have already done what you want to do, just because you learn so much and you prevent yourself from making unnecessary mistakes and in a wasting time. So I am on the fence with that. I think that you just have to know your audience. Like, I'm not gonna tell you know, I'm not gonna ask my friend who isn't married about what it's like to be married. That doesn't make sense. But maybe I'll ask someone who's been married for fifteen years, like, Okay, well, you know, how did how did you work in this in this scenario? How did you guys not kill each other? What was that first your look like when you guys moved in, you know whatever, it looks like, business, personal, anything. I think that there's a ton of value and reaching out to people who have already done what you want to do. Yeah, so really kind of making sure that you are checking in with people who have advantage point and maybe some experience that can help you. Yeah, and you don't want to get into analysis paralysis. I'm definitely not suggesting that you go and talk to about knowing people, talk to a couple of people, and then make your decision, Like, make sure that your decision is your decision and don't base it on um anyone else because I, ultimately and honestly you're the person who has to live with it. So you know, I'll talk to a couple of people and make your decision. But a lot of times what we want is already inside, Like we already know the answers, We already know how we feel, We already know we just we literally already know, and you just gotta follow that gut. You gotta follow the intuition. You gotta dig deep into into your your core, into your belly and listen to yourself. So you mentioned already that you feel like a lot of your business has been kind of building your plane while it's in the sky. Um, which has been a common theme in in these interviews that I've been doing, is that so many of us are just trying to figure it out like as we go, Um, what tips would you have for people who are doing the same kind of thing, Like how do you keep it all together while you're trying to run the machine and build it at the same time, you gotta learn from it. That's to I guess saying, my biggest piece of feedback for anything that you want to do, and I don't care if it's something as simple as like, oh, I want to start an Instagram page, Like, you've got to learn from it, Listen to your audience and know what works and what doesn't work. You know, if if this is not working, stop doing it. If this is working, to do more of that, and then always be willing to try some new things and test it because if you're not, if you're doing the exact same thing, then you're not growing. So always be willing to introduce something new, always be willing to to trick the data and understand like what's working, what's not working, And then ultimately, you know, you gotta you gotta make sure that you're pivoting and the direction that's going to give you the growth that you want. So I am curious what excites you about having a business that really is kind of the centered around people of color. I guess I don't think about it in a way where it's like exciting. I think it's necessary. So It's like I've always so beholden to tell the stories of people whose stories don't get told, and so that's essentially what we do at the lips Are Like, yes we have amazing products. Yes, our red lipstick boss Idea is the best rid you'll ever signed on the planet. Yes we have you know, Yes, yes we're creating products to make your makeup repeat easier. But it's just all about telling my stories of people who don't typically get that story told. In two thousand and twelve, when I launched the lip Are nobody was talking about diversity. Nobody, And now everybody is like, oh, forty shades the foundation and you're super diverse when you look at it ad campaign and you have your token people. Um So I don't think that I looked at it as exciting. I just looked at it as like, well, as a black woman, I want to make sure that I'm represented and people who look like me are represented, so that my niece can grow up and understand that she's beautiful and she doesn't have to transform in order to be beauty. Hole. So black women have always been at the forefront of of what we do, but outside of black women, it's literally just all women who have never had a voice or found the voice within beauty industry, whether that's like a Muslim woman, because you rarely see Muslim women in beauty. You rarely see Indian women or Asian women, you rarely see trans women. Like they're all these people who don't really get a voice within the beauty industry. And that's always been our goals since day one. It's been like, Okay, how do we challenge the beauty the beauty standard? And unfortunately, the beauty standard was a very linear one. It was very much a European standard. And if you didn't look like that, or even if you were European, but maybe a little bit more alternatives, maybe you had short hair, maybe you have tattoos, those people never saw themselves in beauty and like, but why people are so dynamic, Like why are we looking at beauty as like as one thing? Like that's ridiculous. M h. So that's that's kind of why, Like, that's that's where the passion comes from. And the most exciting part of that is when our customers then thank us because they're like, oh, whether it's like I never thought I could wear a pink lipstick until you showed me, you know, the woman with the deep complexion and a pink like she gave me confidence or I never saw a trans person and a at thank you for you know, showing us that that this is also beautiful. So I think that is the exciting part. It's less about the brand, but more so about the people. Yeah. And I think you know, when you read some of these books and you hear people talk about like what makes businesses successful, it is really about the serist piece and serving your community. Absolutely. Yeah, how do you take care of your mental health while running such a wildly success stool business? I connect with nature. Um, I've recently started meditating. I'm about to go to therapy for the first time next week. Well that's why it's not for the first time. I went to a therapist UM at the end of twenty nineteen. I didn't like that experience so and but that didn't deter me. So I made an appointment with another one who I'm really excited about. But I do a lot of journaling, and like I was saying earlier, you know, sometimes you want to talk to people about what's going on, but sometimes you just want to talk to yourself, Like it's rare that people are actually having like conversations with themselves, are allowing themselves to truly process what's happening in their brain. And like my brain, like I have a very difficult time turning it off, Like it's incredibly difficult for me to sleep sometimes. And so I found that journaling and meditating are are a couple of those things that helped me to relax or even just connecting with nature whenever I'm super stressed out. I just like going to nature trip and it reminds me of how big the world is and how small I am. But how you know, the universe created all living beings, and you know that I am insect worthy. Love it. I'm really happy to hear that you're incorporating journaling and meditation. We talked about that a lot on the podcast, just because you're right, like, we often have so much going on that we're not quiet and still, and so journaling and meditation can be a way to get some of that stillness into your schedule. Yeah, because it requires your type a second and process. And I really used my journal as a safe space. Some people don't feel like they can write everything in their journal because they're like, well, what if somebody finds it. I actually don't care. Like I left one of my journals on a plane, and I'm like, if somebody reads it, then they know my life. And just so what, like, I'm so happy that I journal those feelings. I couldn't even tell you what it says right now. And I literally left my journal a plane and I just got another one and started there, like all right, well, these are my feelings for this day. Because it's like at the end of the day, like, you just gotta be honest with yourself. You have to create moments for yourself the process and like and truly be honest with how you feel in the world. If not, you will take it out on other people. You will take out these or you'll act out without even knowing why you're acting in that way or why why certain things triggered you because you've never even acknowledged your feelings on the matter. Absolutely, that is definitely going to happen. Often say, either you deal with the feelings or the feelings will deal with you somehow. M hm. Absolutely. So what's next for the lip bar? Is there anything exciting that's coming up that you want to share? I mean, honest, so we just dressed eyeshadows today like today. That's why it's crazy. Um, it's super exciting just because I shadows. I have always thought that I shadow was intimidating, like not knowing what colors work on me or where to put them, And so we made some really cool liquid eyes shadow that you don't have to have a skill it. You literally just sliped across your I and blend it with your finger and you're done. It's like like twenty seconds. We also created these many travel pallets because I found that people were essentially buying these eyeshadow pallets but only using the same four colors. So we we curated these many travel palettes that are like your your exact for colors for your complexion, so you don't have to waste time, money, space, etcetera. So yeah, girl, I mean life is good. Life is crazy. We launched the eyes shut Out today. You know, we're just we're just trying to stick over the world essentially. Yes, And I love that there's so much intentionality behind your products, like the fast space, like getting away from like buying tons and tons of products and using just the word yeah. It's like for what like so many people have products that they either don't use or don't know how to use because the product don't work for their complexion, or it's so ridiculous. Actually, So I'm like, this is really, let's create things that people can actually use that really works for them and makes their makeup routine easier. And that's our big goal right now. I love it. I'm excited to see those. So where can people find you online? What is the website where the little bore in any social media channels you want to share? So, our website is the lifts Star dot com. We're in target stores across the country. If you go on our website, there's a store locator that will tell you which stores were in and if you're in Detroit or ever. In Detroit, we have a flagship store in our downtown. We're really excited. We've been in business for almost eight years now. The company turns eight this weekend, and we can't believe that we've had such an incredible community supporting us, such an amazing team really helping us to grow to this point. So I'm just grateful. The entire lip of our team is grateful. So thank y'all. Thank you so much for Lissa. I will let you get back to your launch. Well, thank you for taking us time. I appreciate and thank you for everything you do. We we need to talk about self share and the health. Absolutely, thank you, Melissa, have a good one you too. I'm so thankful to Melissa for chatting with me at such a busy point in her schedule. I hope y'all will join me in checking out the new eyeshadow products. To check out more information about Melissa and all the great products available at the lip Boar, visit the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Melissa. Don't forget to share your takeaways with us on either Twitter or in your I G stories using the hashtag TBG in session, and if you'll be attending the Women of Power Summit, definitely let me know. I'd love to see you there. Stay tuned for the final part of our series dropping next Friday, where we'll chat with another amazing woman in business. Until then, take good care of yourself. M H.

Therapy for Black Girls

The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a license 
Social links
Follow podcast
Recent clips
Browse 473 clip(s)