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Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girls podcasts, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. And while I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. Since we're a week away from Valentine's Day, I thought it would be good to have a little chat about some of the stressors that commonly come up around this holiday and share some tips for how you can manage them. If any of these things have been a stress of for you, or if you've had other stress related to Valentine's Day, be sure to share that with me on social media using the hashtag tv G and session. So first, I want to chat about managing Valentine's Day stress when you're single. So if you're single, it may be difficult to see all of this information about relationships and gifts and date night, and so it's very normal to have some feelings about that. So Tip number one is that it's okay to allow yourself to be sad, disappointed, or whatever else you may be feeling in response to the holiday. Your feelings are valid and you're entitled to feel however you're feeling and to fully experience them. Tip number two, try to remember that you're worth is not tied. So whether you're in a relationship or have a cute gift to show off on that day, you are worthy, simple because you exist. Tip number three celebrate Galantine's Day instead. So you really never need a reason to get together and have a great time with your girls, but this can be an excellent excuse to do just that. So maybe y'all can arrange to have a private self cook you a fabulous dinner, or maybe you're just ordering pizza and spend the night watching Living Single reruns. Whatever it is, it's totally up to you, but using this day to get together with your girls and celebrate Galantine's Day could be a great idea. Tip number four spend the day doing kind things for other people. You can make cute goodie bags for your younger cousins or kids in your neighborhood. You can volunteer at a local agency, or make a donation to your favorite charity. Or Tip number five, you do nothing at all, so February fourteen can be a day just like any other day and you go on with business as usual. If you're in a relationship, you might also be feeling stressed for different reasons about Valentine's Day, so here are a few tips that may help you as well. Tip number one, you want to have a conversation with your partner ahead of Valentine's Day about your expectations. Some people are really into it and some people really aren't interested at all. But like many things in a relationship, it's a good idea to be on the same page about how or if y'all are going to be celebrating. And this is also a good reminder to not expect your partner to be a mind reader. So if you know that you really want to celebrate or get a gift, it's okay to share that it's important to you. Don't expect that they will just know. Don't expect that they will just know and then be disappointed when it doesn't happen, especially if this is a newer relation and chip. Tip number two, try to manage your ideas about what a gift or celebration or lack thereof mean about your relationship. So let's say that you and your partner didn't have the conversation ahead of time, and you really wanted to celebrate, but your partner doesn't actually get you a gift. It does not mean that your partner doesn't love you or doesn't care about you. It might just mean that they didn't know. So use this as an opportunity to have the conversation and to attempt to manage expectations about holidays and gift giving going forward. And then tip number three, try not to blame or shame each other for whatever way you feel about Valentine's Day. We all have different traditions and different opinions about how we like to celebrate, So it's okay if your partner wants to celebrate, but it's also okay if you don't want to. You don't have to judge one another or make this about something that it's not. Try to find a way to compromise so that everyone's feelings and needs are taken into consideration. I'm curious to hear if Valentine's Day is currently our has caused you stress in the past, and how you're planning to celebrate. If you are this year, be sure to share your thoughts with me on social media using the hashtag TBG in session. If you're searching for a therapist in your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And don't forget to grab your tv G sweatshirts, t shirts, mugs, or a copy of our guided break up journal over in our store at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash shop. And if you want to continue this conversation with other sisters who listen to the podcast, join us over in the Thrive tribe at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash tribe. Think so much for joining me again this week, and I look forward to continue in this conversation with you all real soon. Take it care