Session 171: Managing Suicidal Thoughts

Published Sep 2, 2020, 7:00 AM
We started this conversation last week when I shared a few questions for you to check in with yourself about your mental health. Given that September is National Suicide Prevention Month, I thought it was important to continue the conversation by discussing how you can cope and manage if you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts.

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If you're looking for an upgrade to the way you sleep, I'd encourage you to check out Helix for a mattress shipt straight to your door with free, no contact delivery, completely free returns, and a one nights sleep trial. And just for y'all, Helix is offering up to two hundred dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows at Helix Sleep dot com slash Therapy for Black Girls. Just go to Helix Sleep dot com slash Therapy for Black Girls, take their two minute sleep quiz and they'll match you to a customize mattress that will give you the best sleep of your life. Now let's get into the show. Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session one of the Therapy for Black Girls podcast. We started this conversation last week when I shared a few questions for you to check in with yourself about your mental health, and given that September is National Suicide Prevention Month, I thought it was important today to continue the conversation by discussing how you can cope and manage if you're experiencing suicidal thoughts. Suicidal thoughts or suicidal ideation, as it's sometimes called, often occurs when people are in unbelievable amounts of pain and feel like there's nothing that will make them better. It's often as signed that people want to escape their lives for one reason or another. It's important to note that simply having thoughts of suicide does not necessarily mean you will hurt yourself, but it does mean that something's going on that needs some attention and support. There are lots of risk factors or things that might make it more likely that someone might think about suicide, including several things we discussed last week like unemployment, isolation, feelings of hopelessness, and the history of trauma. Suicide risk also increases if someone in your family has died by suicide or if you've attempted suicide before, So if you've been experiencing suicidal thoughts. Here are a few things that want to offer you that might help in those moments. Number one, tell someone and get support. I know that this may be incredibly difficult, especially if this is a new feeling for you or mental health is not something you typically share a lot about. But one of the things that can take some of the intensity out of these thoughts is to share it with a trusted person, someone you know will listen and be there to support you. People with suicidal thoughts often feel like there'll be a burden to loved ones by sharing their thoughts, but many loved ones are happy to show up for someone in their time of need. You can talk to a loved one, but also consider meeting with the therapist who might be able to help you start through how you're feeling, offer some support, and maybe offer some suggestions you might not have considered. Also remember that in the US, you can text the word tribe t r I B two seven four one seven four one and text with the trained listener seven at the crisis text line. Number two, remove the means. Something else to consider if you've thought about suicide and have thought about how you might hurt yourself is to remove the means you use. This might mean allowing a trusted family member or friend to temporarily take possession of any firearms, knives, medication, or anything else you've considered using to hurt yourself. Number three, utilize your coping kit. In session one two of the podcast, I discussed making a collection of pleasurable activities, calming sense puzzles, and other things that can be useful to engage in when feelings start to become overwhelming and you need to take the steam out of them. When you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, using your coping kit may be a good way to distract yourself and allow the intensity of your feelings to pass day by day, and maybe even hour by hour if necessary. As one of my favorite authors, Bossy Ip says, allow yourself mourning if you can distract yourself, reach out for help, fall asleep, et cetera. In the morning, you have another opportunity for things to change, for things to be different, so allow yourself mourning. Number four. Be mindful of your drug and alcohol use, as these things can increase impulsivity. We know that many times when people do die by suicide, it's an impulsive act. Even if they've thought about it before. So if you're feeling suicidal, be mindful of your substance use. And number five, be gentle with yourself. Having suicidal thoughts is not a personal failure. It does not mean that you've done anything wrong, that you're weak, are broken. It likely means that you're in a considerable amount of pain. Work hard on silencing those negative voices, and treat yourself with radical kindness. I also think it's important to spend some time talking about how we can help loved ones who might be experiencing suicidal thoughts. Here are a few things for you to consider. No. One get comfortable directly asking loved ones if they're thinking about suicide, and then be ready to respond. Often we're uncomfortable asking this question because we worry that will plan an idea that wasn't already there. This is not true. This is one of the largest misconceptions about suicide. When we ask this question, we make the unspeakable speakable and allow for the beginning of the conversation. Another concern is that we don't know exactly what to say. But you don't have to be perfect. You just have to be present, even virtually, be careful not to get into offering any platitudes like everything will be fine or you have so much to live for, because those kinds of comments can invoke shame or invalidate the pain that your loved one is feeling. Number two, gather resources that you think would be helpful before you need them. Does your area have a crisis response team made up of social workers and others trained to respond in a mental health crisis. Get that information and have it on hand. If your loved one doesn't currently have a therapist, can you offer to help them search and maybe even schedule their first appointment. Number three. Check in often and try to anticipate what they may need. If they're struggling with cooking, see if it be okay for you to drop off a dish or have some food delivered to them. That may be more helpful than saying, hey, just let me know if you need anything, because oftentimes, when people are struggling with things like depression or suicidal thoughts, it's really hard for them to anticipate what they'll need. So if you can do some of that leg work for them, that can be incredibly helpful. Number four, try not to make them staying alive about other people saying things like so many people will be hurt if you die. Our comments about how suicide is selfish can leave people feeling even worse. And number five ask if you can remove any medications, firearms, or other things they may have been thinking about using to hurt themselves. I hope that you'll join me this month in bringing awareness to this topic by sharing resources, starting conversations in your circles, and being intentional about showing up for others who might be a need. Make sure to visit Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Session one seventy one for the show notes to check out some of the resources that I discussed this episode, and don't forget to text two of your girls right now and tell them to check out the episode. Be sure to share your takeaways with us on social media using the hashtag tv G in session. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And if you want to continue digging into this topic and connect with some other sisters, come on over and join us in the Yellow College Collective. But we take a deeper dive into the topics from the podcast and just about everything else. You can join us at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash y c C. Don't forget that if you're looking for a way to in summer on a high note, Cricket Wireless has got just the thing. Get ready for unlimited smiles, unlimited times. For get four lines of unlimited data for a hundred dollars a month. Thank you all so much for joining me again this week. I look forward to continue in this conversation with you all real soon. Take good care,

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The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a license 
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