Life With A Bipolar Disorder

Published Jan 30, 2019, 8:00 AM
In this week's episode we are exploring life with a bipolar disorder diagnosis. For this conversation, I was joined by Melissa Ifill, LCSW. Melissa and I chatted about what it means to be diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, what treatment looks like, how bipolar disorder impacts relationships, how family and friends can support someone with a bipolar disorder, and she shared her favorite resources in case you want to learn more.

Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com

Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girls Podcasts, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. And while I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session two of the Therapy for Black Girls Podcasts. The conversation I'll be sharing with you today has been one of the most requested topics I think I've had from you all, and I'm excited to share this information and because i think many of you will benefit from it. Today, we'll be digging into life with a bipolar disorder diagnosis. For this conversation, I was joined by Melissa Eiffel. Melissa is a licensed clinical social worker in both New York and Maryland and has twenty years experience working with communities of color in various capacities. Melissa is passionate about her work with young adults, especially women of color with the history of trauma and those who are in transition, seeking to learn how to manage their emotions, have better relationships, and take their life to the next level. Melissa and I chatted about what it means to be diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, what treatment looks like, how bipolar disorder impacts relationships, how family and friends can support someone with a bipolar disorder, and she shared her favorite resources in case you want to learn more. If you hear something that resonates with you while you're listening, please share it with us on social media using the hashtag tb G in session. Here's our conversation. Thank you so much for joining us to day, Melissa, thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here. I'm happy that you're here as well. And we are going to be tackling a lot of different topics and a lot of like highly requested topics, and I knew I wanted to bring on the perfect person to be able to really have a great discussion about some of this, and so I want to start our conversation talking about having a bipolar disorder diagnosis So for those people who are listening who may have kind of heart bipolar thrown around but are not quite sure what that means, can you tell us a little bit more about what it means when you receive a diagnosis of a bipolar disorder. So when we're talking about bipolar disorder, you know many of us here that phrase from around quite often, like the weather is bipolar, or you too, movie you bipolar? Or you you know that that really is not bipolar. Um. You know, bipolar really has to do with cycling through what we call manic or like hypo manic phases and then periods of depression as well. And they're typically cyclical mood changes that meet specific criteria for duration, frequency, and intensity that that that a typically lead to like functional impairment, challenges in school, work with relationships, and challenges in the way that you see the world. So when we're talking about like a mannic phase, which is really sort of the crux of bipolar disorder. So when we're talking about manning or like hypo manic phases, we're talking about people who feel really really like they're super super elated and super super happy for you know, periods of typically at least a week. Right, they're happy, they feel like they can stay up for days at a time without flee. They might be really engaged and in pleasure seeking behavior, so partying, you know, sexual activity, you know, shopping all the time, spending tons and tons of money, thinking that you are grandiose or in a better life position than you are. So I've had clients come in and you know, they'll say, oh, I, you know, own this bank, and I have a million dollars. I can do what I want, I can spend, I can travel, and they just kind of feel as though life is great, there's no coming down from it. And they typically feel they express feeling really really really happy, and then they're the lows of it, which is depression, the sadness, the you know, not being able to get out of bed, not being able to function, and you know, most of us struggle with you know, periodic mood swings. But the difference between bipolar disorder is these mood swings are really really out of control. You cannot manage your emotions at all. You cannot function in the important areas of your life, so work, school, if you have children to care for, you are unable to care for your children, you are unable to take care of your responsibilities, and your life really sort of takes on this shape that is not manageable for you. And so what Melissa might be like the first signs that somebody might be struggling with this, Well, often times, how we even pick up on what is challenging for us period I really has to do with the feedback that we're receiving. So if you have friends or family who are not able to really interact with you, if you're not able to focus, if you see that you're staying up for you know, days on end, if you're spending your money wildly, you know that maybe a manicaise. If you gone through something and you have experienced what might look like a maniaise, but then now you're super depressed and you can't function, and there's really no major impetus for it, So you don't have a trigger, you don't have a major life change, but you're going through these ups and downs, ups and downs, and you're receiving feedback from the plinkle in your life that you're looking different, that you know things aren't working, you're not eating, you're you're not sleeping. Then and then you definitely want to go and speak to our professional. Got you, and I'm glad you raised that point about like getting feedback from other people, because I think for a lot of mental health concerns, it is sometimes the people around us who can recognize that something is going on before we even realize it for ourselves, right, And it's often really difficult to accept that feedback, you know, and especially when you are in a phase where you feel good and like it's different, like if you don't feel well and you feel really sad and you feel like you can't manage, but when you're in a manage is you will feel like everything is right with the world. So when somebody telling you this is not accurate, the information that you're giving is not accurate, they're not able to provide for your children. You're in a different reality than what we're seeing. It can be very difficult to accept that because the reality that you're in, what is real for you in the moment, is very, very different. And I think that's often the difficult things that I see you as families, they don't understand how they're talking to someone their loved one, and their loved one is not sort of grasping that the way that they're being things is not real. And the way that I try to explain it is it's real for them. So like this, like this feels good. It feels good to be able to go out and do what you want to do. I had, you know, I've seen clients who like quit their job at the drop of a dime, like they're they will withdraw all the money from their bank account and then they go travel Europe. And you know how we really look at that is what's that something that was planned? Right? Like? Is it impulsive? Was there's some life change that you know created it? Or was it just you woke up one day and incided that, like this is what you wanted to do. That's often like a red flag for a clinician um and it should be for a family member as well. Got you. So we were talking a little bit before we actually started recording, Melissa about how getting like a bipolar disorder diagnosis is often like one of those diagnosis that's really hard for clients to accept. Can you talk a little bit about why you think that is because you're having to rely on the way that other people see you as something that's truth. In fact, you know a lot of the clients that I work with that they're young people, you know, specifically young women, and they're already at this point in their life where they're trying to identify who they are as individuals, and so they're really coming into their own sense of like dentity and just filling out themselves in the world. And then and then now you're being asked or told by people that we see you this way and this is a problem. When you don't see it as a problem, this is not a problem for you. I also think that sometimes people feel like any mental health diagnosis is the end of the world. It means that they have no control, that they have to be on medication forever, that there's nothing that they can do to manage their lives differently, and so it it's sort of um puts inside of them this it's hopeless, helpless feeling of there's nothing that I can do about this except take this medication. And people don't want to feel like they don't have control over their lives. They you know, don't want to feel as though they're required to do something extra just to be quote unquote normal, right, Like I'm no longer normal. There's something wrong with me. So I think that you know that oftentimes that's difficult to except. Got you. So how are you working with clients like you know, like let's say you see a client UM and you realize, like, okay, I think some of this that that they're presenting with maybe a bipolar disorder. I know sometimes that comes with like heightened like emotionality UM. And so so how do you work with the client who may be struggling with some of these symptoms. So a lot of my work is focused working with clients UM who do have some challenges with regards select moody regulation. So that's not just like polar disorder, but that's also borderline personality disorder or the traits of on borderline personality disorder. And I often really start the same place with them that I would with you know, any clients that I have. You know, what do you want out of your life? You know, it's like what do you want your light to look like? You know, what is the vision that you have for you know, who you want to be? You know, how do you want to be seen in the world, How do you want to show up in the world, And then we really talk about what's working for them, not but I see not with their famili sees, not with whoever referred them to me like what they see. But you know what is working for you in your life and what is not working, and we start from that point. Oftentimes when we really delve into their mood, changes, the cycles, the behaviors that are not giving them the results that they want for their life. That's where we're able to really do the work on changing the behaviors, on increasing adherents in the medication that they're prescribed, on you know, even verbalizing and discussing what their doctor changes to the medication that they want, and really engaging in their treatment and not being passive receivers of treatment, but you know, really thinking about what they want and you know, how to achieve it on these different levels using these different tools. I love the way that you put them, Melissa, because I think kind of going back to what you said earlier around kind of receiving one of these diagnoses, it kind of feels like, oh, my life is over, Like you know, I'm kind of doomed, and you're really talking about the treatment, looking like how do we actually get you to be able to live more of the life that you want? And focusing on symptoms and making changes and behaviors as opposed to focusing on the diagnosis. Right, Like, we're really wanting to actually get you to change some of these behaviors so that you're not as impacted by the diagnosis, right exactly, and also allowing people to see like you can have a full life. I think a lot of times family members, you know, and clients resist the diagnosis because they assume that this means that you're never gonna be able to work, You're never gonna be able to have children, and never gonna be able to you know, do the things that you want to do and like, you know, live your life dreams. But there are many people who are working and very very very successful with you know, many different mental health diagnosis. It's really about engaging in the things that you need to engage in for you to feel better, and you know, being clear about that with yourself about what that is, as opposed to you know, simply trying to run away from it. So what are some of those things that you start to tackle, Like, what are some of the behaviors that have frequently come up that you do work with your clients on trying to change or manage. So a lot of it has to do with anger and the agitation that comes either from being in the mannic phase or the irritability, you know what, the decrease in functioning that comes from being in a depressive state. Those rapid move changes in the havoc that it can sort of reak on your interpersonal relationships, your work relationships, functioning in school. I have a lot of clients who are in college or pursuing master's degrees, and the changes often prevent them from you know, making schedules, meeting deadline, and you know, doing the things that you know they want to do to be successful. For some reason, I attract a lot of high achievers, you know. Some of our clients want to be straight as students. They want to do well all the time, and so oftentimes just feeling as though they don't have any control and that the people in their life, whether it's a professor or a parent, don't understand that, and then they receive the negative consequences from that. So I really really work with them on being able to want understand for themselves what's happening, to be able to identify triggers before the triggers actually become problematic. Right, So, if you're having a symptom on set, typically there are minor changes in your life that will happen before you, you know, come to the place where you're completely not functioning or you completely descrusted our relationship. And so we really work on the small, tangible things that can be done before you get to the place of you know, feeling out of control. You know, we developed plans when they're in a place where they feel well, you know, where they feel stable, and they can look back on experiences so they they have something concrete to work from, so that when they're seeing that these things are happening, they're not functioning solely in the moment or like based on impulse, but they have a concrete plan of action. Okay, So I think Melissa, people have probably heard this word triggers, like that has become also like a kind of a buzzword, um, And so I don't know that people always know what that means. And when you talk more about like what these triggers might look like, like what might be a trigger for somebody who's struggling with like a bibular disorder. And so I have clients who you know, like I said, they really want to do well in everything. So if you're experiencing like a downward shift in your mood, you know, maybe you got um a beat on the test, you know, versus getting an A on the test, and last week you were able to really think through, Okay, well I got this be right, and this be um is just one B. You know I need to improve in these areas is and you know it's gonna be okay. But this week, this being makes you feel like you are a complete failure in school, right, and so now you're gonna fail everything, Like there's no point in you're going to school tomorrow. You're a complete idiot, and so it's just better for you to lay in the bettle of it and then watch TV. Right. So, like that is one sort of mining example of something that UM that when your mood is shifting, you don't have the ability to think through as well, and so you engage in the behavior that they now sort of creates like a downward spiral for your functioning. Or let's say, for instance, you know you have a partner, and and this is something that happens very very often, like you're engaged in a relationship and your partner may have um like your partner might not be the most sensitive person, right, and you know this about your partner. But you guys, are you know, typically able to you know, talk through things, like you know, work with But then you're experiencing a shift in your mood. So as opposed to having a conversation, you're yelling, you're screaming, you're threatening, and then you perceive them as you know, trying to hurt you. And so then things you know, really begin to shift with regard to your relationship, and then you're feeling isolated in the context of your relationship. So it's really this black or white sort of thinking around typical life events that in the past you've been able to manage, but at this particular point in time, you're not managing it the same way, and it becomes something that you know, really challenges your you know, day to day function. So you said that you typically will work with people before their mood ships, so that when the mood shifts, then they've already had a plan in place for how to manage some of them. Yes, yes, definitely, And I think that that that's the important piece, so that you're not necessarily trying to only work through the crisis or the symptoms pays while the client or the person is engaging in the symptom, while the symptom is active and it's present. It's that you've already developed a plan so that the client and their family and friends, you know, can be able to identify when the symptoms are becoming present and active, and you can actually go to it and say, this is what we agreed with work, Let's try these different steps to be able to work through this, versus let's just acting on like how we feel in the moment, Because how we feel in the moment is very real. It's not that our feeling isn't real. It's just that how we're perceiving it at that particular point in time it is not accurate. Yeah, And I think that that's where people get kind of confused sometimes around like the whole feelings aren't facts, ye saying. And I kind of struggle with that because in some ways it feels like you're you're kind of telling people like not to trust their feelings. But it's not that your feelings aren't real. It's just that your reaction may be a bit out of proportion to what is actually happening in the moment right right exactly, and that that you're feeling can be very real, but it doesn't mean that you have to hold onto that feeling. Right, So your feeling can be very real, like Okay, you can feel as though this person is not speaking to you the way that you want them to speak to you. You can feel like, you know, like your partner isn't sensitive or or caring or like nurturing for you in the moment, right Like, you can have that emotion, but it doesn't mean, like you said, you know, one, that your reaction is proportion to you know, this situation, or that holding onto that emotion is going to resolve that issue. And I mean we all really struggle with, you know, the way that we manage our emotions differently at different points in time based on you know what our history is, based on our triggers. It's it's where that you find people that can manage your emotions well every single time, like during every single situation. So really own yourself and then knowing what your triggers are is important for everyone, right. We we focus on it with you know, clients that we know already come with a biochemical or psychosocial sort of you know, predisposition to you know, having changes in their mood and you know, being impulsive, but really knowing yourself enough to be able to write insifie, how you react the situations and how different situations change your reaction and if that's who you want to be? Right is something that is a good sort of self check for for us all to have at different points in time in our life. Listen, you just dropped the word here on us Listen because yeah, so I just want to go back because you said something about you know, like just because you are perceiving it that way, it doesn't mean it's actually going to get you any closer to like what you're actually wanting out of that situation. I mean, that is so true for all of us. Are like how many times are we like holding onto grudges, are like refusing to let go of a point just because we like want to hold onto it as opposed to thinking about is it actually effective for the moment? Right? Right? So, I mean, you know it's that question, you know, do you want to be right or like resolution? Right? So, like, what's the purpose of our conversation here? You know, are you trying to be right in this moment, and I think that we all need to constantly be asking ourselves those questions. You know. One of the things that's interesting for me as I work with clients, you know them full time. I work in in patient psychiatric unit, so we deal with people, you know, with the whole gamut, uh, you know, mental health spectrum. And in my private practice, I really focus on working with young women. I have some young male clients as well, but I really focus on working with clients who are really working to manage their emotions. But I think that we often really get hung up on this concept of diagnosis, and he look, diagnosis is necessary. It helps us as punitions to be able to sort of come to a picture using like a common language about things that is, you know, going on for the clients, so that we know exactly what we're working on. And you know, for insurance, we get paid. I know, let's keep it on andred. But the reality of it is most people at some level are dealing with challenges and relationships at some point in time. You know, we're dealing with challenges in the workplace, We're dealing with some sort of stressor and it's always helpful to really go back to what do you want out of your life? And it is this what I want? And if you know what your end goal is, you know, then you can better navigate the situation and know what you're holding onto and know if what you're holding onto is worth got you? So, how can we get better at this? We listen, like, how can people maybe ti lerate some of these difficult emotions or let go of things so that they are acting more in the interests of what they're saying they actually want. So I think, um, first of all, self awareness is important. It's important for the giver and the receiver. UM. I know that there are a lot of clinicians who um really shy awaight whim working with clients have bipolars is what a diagnosis, or who are diagnosed with borderline personality or bodeline personality traits because there really is a lot of emotion that they are emanating and you know, really and truly, depending on what is happening on a given day, you really don't know what you're gonna get. And I find it often not to struggle because we are dealing with our own emotions and you know, our own triggers from another individual, So you know, being aware of yourself, being aware of who you are, being aware of what you want, and then not being afraid to say this is really working my nerves, but like I need to do something about it. It's not about this other person doing something to me. It's about me having a reaction. And you know, like they might be engaging, engaging in the behavior, but it's my reaction, the reaction that that you know, I want to have to be able to get to this end result or do I need to change something about me regardless of what's going on with this other person. Does that make sense? Absolutely? And it very much feels like these are like exercises that you kind of continuously work through, right like and I know, like for DBT kinds of things like these are the kinds of things that you're doing, like you're practicing like, Okay, what was my reaction in this moment? It was this about me and what was about the other person? Yes? Yes, And I think you know a lot of my clients that we that it's like emotional gymnastics, like they're constantly doing and sol gymnastics and like jumping through hoops and and and figuring out what is happening in the moment, and that does require a lot of work, and that's where people get tripped up. You know. It's it's hard to one on your emotion and the society that doesn't always give us space in place and time to have emotions. I think depending on where you grow up, in the environment that you grow up in, it's it's very easy to be taught to stuff your emotions because you have to be strong. We have to be and so I think on that level, society and most of us struggle with dealing with people that have different kinds of emotions on different days in different ways, and then we feel responsible for one either fixing their emotions ourselves or for making them fix their emotions so that we don't have that level of discomfort. So I think being able to sit in the discomfort of I'm watching this person who I care about do things to their life at this particular moment that I don't think are right. I don't think it will serve them in the long run. I don't think it will feel good to them once they come out of this state. But recognizing that for some people this is a process, so like they're going to do what they're going to do right now, love them, be patient, be present, and then when they're in a different place, have a different kind of conversation about what they can do differently, about how they feel without the judgment, and be okay being uncomfortable with that, you know, be okay being in a place where you don't have the answers, where you don't know what's gonna happen next. And I think that we all struggle with that discomfort of this doesn't feel good, it doesn't look good, but I don't know what's gonna happen next, So like, how do I fix it? Some things you can't really fix, you just have to work through over time. Yeah, I think that's unimportant, Melissa, because I do think just kind of as a society, we have difficulties with like not problem fixing right, Like people want answers, you know, like we want it now kind of thing. And so the idea that you have to sit with something that is uncomfortable and you know, in some ways may be harmful, like you said, but realizing that there may not be anything that you can do about it in the moment is a very difficult stance for people to take. Yeah, especially for parents, you know, especially for parents. You know, there are some clients I've worked with who've been diagnosed with you know, like pother disorder from the time that they were and laid out of lessons. I do think that there are some instances where people are missed diagnosed, but I think ultimately, you know, when I've been working with my younger clients, their parents often coming from this perspective of you know, fix them, you know, fix them, you know what's gonna happen to their life. You know, this needs to be right, this needs to be right now, m versus understanding. You know, they're at an age where they get to make certain life decisions and we might like we don't have to agree with it right now, but love them, support them, work with them through it, and you know there can be a different outcome, But we have to work with them when their choices not work for them to get to a point where they're accepting your choices right right. Are there other suggestions or tips you would offer for people, because you've talked a lot about family and loved ones being involved in the treatment process and like in the support process, or there are other tips and suggestions you would give for people who may have somebody in their life who has been diagnosed with a bipolar disorder, like how to support their loved one. I think, you know, one final support system for yourself, it is it's super super critical. I think that you know, finding a group of people, whether it's through the National Association for the Mentally Ill because they often have no parents, support groups and you know, many different communities across the country, but finding people who understand what this looks like and what this, you know, maybe be like for you is very helpful. I know in New York City we have these programs that are called Family Resource Centers, and they often have parents who are peers. So I know that the peer concept is you know, pretty big. Across the country. There are people who are in you know, very stages of recovery for you know, different types of challenges, whether it's you know, mental illness or the substance you challenges that you know work with other people who are going through those same challenges. But um in New York, in the family Resource centers, they have parents who are peers because they've had children who have been diagnosed with whether it's a develop mental disability or a um or a mental health diagnosis, so they are able to provide a different type of support and I think that that's critical as well. But I also think that being in a place of understanding acceptance, being in a place where you can grieve that the child or that the family member that you've come to love and that you've come to have all these thoughts and dreams for that their life might look different than what you expected. But still being able to be present through that right that that I think is important. I don't think that people give themselves the opportunity to grieve the loss of the person that they wanted versus the person who is And it might look the same depending on the diagnosis, or it might look very different, but you have to be willing to accept that and to be okay with that um And I think education and if you have consent um you know, if the treating provider has consent being a part of the active team, you know, being a part of you know, having conversations about what's going on, what is treatment, what is the safety plan. Obviously than boundaries with the treating provider, for your for your loved one, I think it's also essential. So I know, Melissa A. Lot of the work that you do. And we kind of touched on this a little bit, but I want to make sure we don't leave out any pieces of like what your work look like is about like kind of vision planning and helping your clients really develop this Is there more about that that you want to say, um, like what this actually looks like when you're working with a client. So when I work with with any client, you know, all of my clients can come work. Um. I think homework is essential because I'm only with you forty five minutes, you know, fifty minutes, maybe sixty depending on what's happening or you know, the week, and you spend most of the time with yourself, So we all get homework and I say a week and sometimes I go home with you know, homework and things to like think about with them or for them as well. But but I think really identifying who you are and and on what you want from life is a critical first step in the work that I do. I also try to integrate holistic health practices with my clients that are consistent with their faith and the things that they're interested in as well. So I believe that you can have Jesus and therapy. UM, I think you can have Buddha and therapy. I think you can be engaged in yoga and massage, therapy and acupuncture and walking, and in physical health practices and like holistic eating and and I encourage all of that from the perspective of we are one whole person, so really fully integrating into your life, you know, in all different areas the things that will make you feel good and the things that are helpful for you emotionally. UM. We we talk about in session on a regular basis. Oftentimes when we are in a place where we're used to doing certain things, like on a consistent basis, we have a certain behavior pattern. We act in a way to life that is very different than you know, how we would want to react. So you know, you know, I'll just be transparent. I have in my past, you know, and a different person I was, UM I had it had a tendency to um be very explosive. So if there's something that I didn't like that you said, I'll let you know that you said it. And you know how I let you know that you said it wasn't necessarily friendly or pleasant, or it didn't really lend itself to a resolution. But once I was able to identify who I was, it allowed me to change my thoughts and be mindful about what I was thinking and my personal physical reactions. I was having to know, like, you know, what was gonna come out of my mouth next, and if that was, you know, how I wanted to respond to situations consistently, So really investigating your thoughts, investigating your thought patterns, and changing those things so that your reactions and the behaviors that you're engaging in are consistent with who you want to be. That is often the work, that is the small everyday bits and pieces of the work that you know people really miss, got it, Okay, So it's a very active process. In other words, yes, like homework. Yeah, it's lots of homework, and it's it's really consistent we do we know, like in DBT, there's the whole concept of behavior chain analysis and you know, really really looking at you know, what occurred, what was your thought, what was your response, and and really looking at that cycle. Um, so we really I mean I use that a lot because from the perspective of really investigating and really really working from the place of what the individual that I'm working with, what do they want? I think a lot of times clinissions and you know, our loved ones talk to us about what we're doing from the perspective of what we want, you know, versus what the person that we're talking to want, and so we UM. So I really try to work from the place of, Okay, what does my client want, what feels you know, what will feel authentic to them now? And then you know, who do they want to be? And it's that constant sort of visiting that vision daily as your I'm going through life, got it? So I'm sure my listen that there are a lot of resources in that kind of come up over and over for you again, UM, so, what are some of your favorite resources that you recommend for your clients? So my favorite resources is it's actually I work with a lot of clients who have experienced trauma UM and I of course The Body Keeps for is a book that is you know, you know, wildly you know, UM lauded and it's it's how recommended. But there's another book, UM that's called Childhood Disrupted that I really love because it really breaks down from my client too experienced trauma UM, you know, what happens to your body in your mind. Um you know, when you've experienced those things from like a biological perspective, and it allows them to normalize their experiences and you know, really work from a place of understanding. And then I'm really into holistic practices, so like meditation and mindfulness. So like YouTube has like some really awesome videos. But there is a instagrammer who I followed, and I followed her for a few years. Her name is Bathshila Marie On on Instagram. She's urban, so she's like a young black woman and she is into like health and wellness, but she's also into, you know, how do you love yourself more. I think a lot of clients that I work with, whether they're diagnosed with depression of my polities or or with my personality uhm diagnosis, they really struggle with this concept of like what is their self worth? And I found that and it's so interesting. When people develop a sense of what they're worth and what they want, then they're more inclined to do the work to be able to get better. So she has like a lot of self love and um, you know, self awareness video she does talk like every day about mindfulness and like really the simple things that you can do to feel better UM. And then actually one of my clients introduced me to a book that's called Start Where You Are, and it's a book about UM basically like radical acceptance and and being in a place where you're able to understand you know where you are except where you are, and then move forward from that and let go of your idea of what should or shouldn't be. So don't sound like some great suggestions for people to check out? So where can people find you, Melissa? Where can they find out more information about you and your practice? So? I am located in New York City, i am licensed in New York and I'm licensed in Maryland as well. I do tell Ahealth and I work out of wellness basis for my in person sessions. My website is Melissa Eiffel dot com and my Instagram UM handled is Melissa. That's M E L I S S A I F I L L l C s W. So that is where you can find me Melissa Iffel l C s W. I'm I'm very active on Instagram pretty much every day I post something UM and my website is up and running perfect, and all of that, of course will be initial notes for people to find very easily. Well, thank you so much for chatting with us today, Melissa. I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me absolutely, I'm so grateful Melissa was able to join us to share her expertise with us. To find out more about her practice and the resources that she shared, visit the show notes at Therapy for Black Girls dot Com slash Session ninety two, and don't forget to let us know what you thought about the episode by sharing your takeaways with us on Twitter or in your I G stories using the hashtag tv G in session. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, check out our directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And don't forget to grab your Therapy for Black Girls sweatshirt, t shirt, mug or a copy of our guided break up journal over in our store at Therapy for Black Girls dot Com slash shop. And if you want to continue this conversation with other sisters who listen to the podcast, join us over in the thrive tribe at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Tribe. Thank you all so much for joining me again this week. I look forward to continue in this conversation with you all real soon Take it care

Therapy for Black Girls

The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a license 
Social links
Follow podcast
Recent clips
Browse 473 clip(s)