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Welcome to the Therapy for a Black Girls Podcasts, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. And while I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session of the podcast. I'm very excited to be marking the beginning of Mental Health Awareness Month with the conversation that I think you'll enjoy. Today. I am joined by Dr Lex b Around James. Dr Lex is a sex educating license, marriage and family therapist and the owner of the Institute for Sexuality and Therapy in St. Louis, Missouri. She enjoys educating people on building intimacy, getting to pleasure, and training professionals on how to work with sexuality based topics and trauma informed ways. Dr Lex and I discussed how to get in touch with the idea that we deserve pleasure as Black women, common types of sexual disorders, how trauma can impact our ability to enjoy sex, getting rid of sexual shame, and the importance of masturbation. You know that we want to hear your thoughts on this one, So if you learn something new or here's something you want others to know, be sure to share it on social media by using the hashtag tv G in session. Here's our conversation. Well, thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you for having me. I'm very excited to have you on the podcast. You are definitely doing incredible work in the field of sexology, so I'm very honored that you would have some time to share with us today. So I really enjoy that all of your work, it feels like, focuses on this idea that pleasure is your right. Um. And so what are some of the things that you feel like get in the way of us truly believing this as black women? So the short version is oppression, Okay, absolute oppression. UM. In my work, I found that I followed Patricia health Collins black feminist theory. Go look it up if you're not familiar. But Patricia O'Collins says that black women just from existing experience racism, sexism, and classism, which is all true, right, so make less on the dollar. Racism is racism, black women are sell the mules, and then sexism being black and female. Right. So I contend that in the millennial version of black feminist theory, we actually experienced six different types of oppression, not only racism, sexism, and classism, but also sizeism. So you've heard of like, oh, her body is not right, she's too thin, or she's too fat, she's not just the right thick, and Black women are discriminated against because of that. So her butt's not big enough, or m her she's not the curvy kind of woman, so she's not as sexy, or she doesn't desire as much pleasure, or because she's fat, it's easier to get her in bed, or you don't have to do as much to please them because they're lucky to have whatever lover they have, right. And then we add on colorism, so the lights can privilege versus people who are darker standard have way more melanin, have oppressive issues, not getting hired, not being considered as attractive. And then a term that I got termed from Dr Donna Orio is texturism. So based on the texture of our hair, the natural way our hair grows out of our head is used against us to a point where girls in schools in South Africa have to have protests because people want them to straighten their hair, i e. Become more white in white beauty standards to be acceptable or quote unquote more professional. And we experienced this from birth, from birth, just by existing, this happens. My daughter is one in a couple of days, and oh my gosh, people already talk about how big she is and what that means and how that's going to affect her development. People already talk about her skinking color and she's a nice shade of brown or she's really dark, and what does that mean for her or her hair type. And because she has hair, she's quote quote prettier than other babies who don't have hair. And I'm like, whoa, not even a year yet, and we're already talking about all these things. So can you imagine when you've been on the world eighteen years plus years, thirty plus years, fifty plus years, how much of this stuff we get in of ourselves, how much of it we start to believe and then for you to say this body that everybody downs in whatever ways, it's supposed to be pleasurable. So we haven't taught the black women have the right to pleasure. Yeah, I mean, like you mentioned, there are so many things working against you. You're just trying to like fend off all of these oppressive kinds of forces. It feels like in your life, like it feels like pleasure would be pretty far down on the list exactly exact, but it's we're still like at the color purple, you know, mr use the bath peumonia. Right, there are people still believe that sex is supposed to hurt and just good get through it. That you don't have the right to say no, stop, I don't like that, get off me. And the other part of that is violence against women. Right, So when we want to be pleasurable or have pleasures in certain ways, people with power and typically men, try to take advantage of what that means. So we have all these respectability politics like, oh, if you enjoy sex, you're some type of hope. It's like, or I could really enjoy my body and I have the right to do that because it's the only body I have, right and kind of going off of that, you know, kind of like the advantages and the um you know, kind of different ways that we view sexual pleasure for men and women. It does feel like we often hear a lot about a rectile dysfunction disorder, right, Like we hear know about the medicine that you can use for that, and this is what you can take to kind of control it is, But we don't often hear about all of the sexual disorders that impact women. So can you tell us about some of those disorders and how that might be kind of playing on in some people's lives. So definitely, it used to be six of them, and then the d s M had an edit, so now there's three because of course we're gonna cut everything down for women, but basically it boils down to these three. So one is pelvic pain, right, so they called pebvic pain penetration pain, so any type of pain that goes with the volva and vaginal canal. So the volva was the outside that you see of the section Italian for women, and the vaginal canal is the inside part like the birth canal where babies come out, So any type of pain there. Sometimes there's pain like burning. Sometimes there's pain where people can't have any type of penetration, and I mean to a point where they might not be able to wear a tampon, they might not be able to insert a pinky finger because it is that uncomfortable. Then there's a female orgasmic disorder, which is our big way of saying not able to have an orgasm. So the thing that people shall in lifetime where you're just like going over the cliff and your head is thrashing back and forth, isn't necessarily what orgasm looks like for everybody, but some people report just not being able to get there even if they want to. And then the last one is sexual interests or sexual arousal, So it's just not having a sexual interest anymore. And these aren't people that are a sexual right who never have those feelings of desire necessarily. These are people who have had those feelings and lost them, or something's happened biological or psychological and they can't access those feelings anymore. Okay, So all of these and of course because they're in the d n S and these are mental health kinds of conditions, so all of these conditions would have been ruled out that this is related to anything physically going on, correct, correct, So those are the causes. So it's either physical or mental. Right, So there can be natural changes physically like menopause, endometriosis, having really crappy periods. All of those things are natural causes that can lead to the disorders, right. And they still have a medical terminology with them too, so you can be diagnosed with them medically as well. And then if we rule out all of that stuff, if we send people to a good trusted physician and they get their hormone levels, check that a toritary gland, chech um, their estrogen levels, all of those things, if they haven't had any type of physical trauma to their body, car accidents, falling, breaking of hips, things like that, then we think it's more so psychological and mental stuff. And that's where oftentimes I see couples work and individual work to try and work through what's going on for them. And then we also refer to a pelvic what is it a pelvic physical therapist? Okay, okay, So before we kind of get into any event, can you talk a little bit more about like some of the psychological concerns that might lead to some of these disorders. So psychologically there's there's a lot, right, and it sums down to just trauma. Were in the psych world, as you know, we no longer compare traumas to say like, oh, it's the trauma Olympics who had it worse. We just say all trauma is trauma and anything that you feel, So that could be anything from like sexual coercion to incest to a bad b D s M episode or role play that you engaged in that can have these effects. Also postpartum, so having a child, whatever way you birth a child, you can have effects on your desire and arousal and your mood. And we talked about that as well as couples issues. Sometimes you just don't like your partner, or sometimes your partner is not good at sex and you're like, they haven't been good at sex since I met them, I ain't got time to be coaching people, or I don't want to train anybody, or I don't like this and they like this a certain way. And then also insecurities, right, so ideas about your body, um, not feeling sexy, not feeling wanted. All of those things factor into sexual arousal, desire and orgasm response. Yeah, So it kind of feels like some of that information that you mentioned in the first question related to, like all of the different oppressions, could then lead to some of these psychological disorders that you're seeing with your sexuality. You better come on and connect the dots. Yes, yes, exactly. So what kinds of things might you be able to do? You know, like, let's say some of it is related to kind of just like the messages a young woman has gotten about of body and she's too dark, she's too thick, all of these things. What kinds of things might you be able to do with that client in session to kind of help work through some of this? So I I know, you know, and everybody who listen to your podcast knows about Bernie Brown, right, And after reading a lot of Bernie Brown's work, I was like, this is great, but it looks a little bit different for black women. So I actually developed a model that I use that's based on cognitive behavioral therapy, but it is my model for working with sexual shame. And so I work with my couples around the negative thoughts they have put inside themselves that they unconsciously try and make happen, and to reaffirm that they got from other people. So I work with that. We get into the core of what are these negative beliefs you have about yourself, how do you reality test them, what does that reality tell you? And where do we need to shift? So we look at the organizations and institutions that these things come from. Do they come from you? What are your morals and values? And we talk about all of these things and how they want them to be different, and then we developed a step wise progression to try and help them get to somewhere that feels more comfortable. Okay, next, Now, I did not know that you had your own model based on Renee Brown's work, and I am curious to know, like how you feel like it shows up differently for black women based on what you know she talks about in some of her work. Right, So, so Renie talks about guilt versus shame. Renie doesn't do a lot of talking around sex, and as a sexologist, people oftentimes just focus on the first three letters, the S e X part And as a sexologist, I think that sex is integral in many things that we do. Right, So it's not just the act of intercourse, it's how we carry ourselves. It's the roles that we play as women as wives, mothers, daughters, church mothers, whatever else, basketball coaches, workers. It's also the intimacy, so the able to be the ability to be vulnerable with people, which is something that black women have not been allowed to do for generations and generations and generations, and so we've passed that down of we pick up the Superwoman's tape because you're all you have to rely on, and that filters into our sexuality, so we're tuned out sensually, like what about black people and touch? We've even recently right, touch has been really dangerous for black women. So the fact that you don't want to dance with somebody and he gets upset at you and kills you because you don't want to be touched by this person. So all of these things get in the way, and so Renee Brown doesn't really take that that scope of what it's like to be a woman of color, a black woman, and apply to where that shame comes in because now we think I'm not good enough or I'm unlovable because of these shortcomings I have. Meanwhile, I'm still wearing the super cake. I would also imagine lex that's something that may come up and you tell me, um, if this happens or not, that's something that might come up. In working with black women is kind of teachings around religion, um, and how that may sometimes impact like the relationship that someone has the sex and like this shaming piece. Oh my gosh, so um as you we we talked about. I'm from Atlanta, so I am a recovering Baptist and I will I will probably be a recovering Baptist for a good while, right. But yes, so church can be really really traumatic for some and I was at a church where like I always had to wear dresses, you didn't go out without stockings, right, and what that means for how you become a woman and who you are as a woman and then as a lover. But there's a level of the cone of silence that happens around church and sexuality. And I have to read the Bible again because I want to find the passages that speak to having sexual pleasure and being able to own that. But yes, very much so. It definitely cuts off from sensuality because sensuality is quote quote a sin. To feel good with anybody outside of your husband is a sin and we don't think about the things that these are built on very patriarchal, man built ideals, and it have been for quite a time. So what does couples work him to look like? With you lex like, how would you be working with a couple, Well, we're let's say, you know, one of the partners doesn't have any more desire like you mentioned, you know, they just kind of feel like the partners getting on their nerves and they just maybe are not attracted to the partner anymore. What my couple's work look like in that kind of a case. So most of the time when couples come into me, I'm the last stop. Why end up being the last stop? But I'm the last stop. A lot of therapists aren't really comfortable talking about sex and sexuality. And I tell couples it is my job to take care of your relationship. So I care about each one of you as individual people, but my job is to take care of your relationships. So every time they come in, we come in. Our first session is always an assessment session. You see if you like me, I see if I like you, and if we want to continue working together. I get all your background information. But my second session is always, always, always a sexual history taking session. So with couples, I have them come together and then I split them up, and then they come back together at the end. I always tell them I'm not a secret keeper. So if you're having an affair and you want to keep having that affair, I'm probably not the therapist for you. And if you tell me, I'm telling your partner. I'm alsome, not a good liar, I don't lie well at all. So with that goes when we come together, they well usually get a little bit upset at me because I take sex right off the table. I'm like, okay, so for the next two weeks, next three weeks, you are not to have any type of sexual intercourse at all. And they're like, what, we came here to have better sex. How we're gonna have better sex if you take sex off the table, And I'm like, I know, I know that's hard. Oftentimes my couple's cheat. So when they come back in the session, they look like cheshire cats with big smiles and they're all giggly, and they sit right next to each other on a couch and I'm like, y'll cheated on my homework, Like we tried, but we take sex off the table to to remove the pressure to say, you know what, it's not an obligation, because having sex as an obligation builds resentment and contempt, and those are some horsemen that come for your relationship to kill it. And the goal is to keep people going, keep people connected. Also, I also find that it's not usually a sex issue, it's an intimacy issue. It's a I can't trust you, I'm not vulnerable with you. I'm not telling you that this thing hurts. So I let you keep going, but I don't want to do it again. So it becomes three days a week, three weeks, two months before we have a sexual engagement again because I'm afraid of the pain. So yeah, So once you take the six off the table, then you are doing your you know, pretty standard couple's work in terms of increasing intimacy, having people it sounds like, be more asserted with their communication and stuff like that. Yes, and we do some sex based ideas and morals. We really try and decenter the penis. For some reason, somehow somewhere people learned that sex starts and ends with a hard penis and a soft penis, which isn't true, right, Just because a penis is hard doesn't mean it's the last erection that person is ever gonna have, so you don't have to use it right then. And just because a person ejaculates and orgasms are actually two different things. The person can ejaculate and not feel an orgasm, or they can orgasm and not ejaculate, but they tend to happen simultaneously for some But for some reason, we think that sex has to be over once that happens. And I'm like, where did you get that from? So people with quote unquote premature ejaculation, which oftentimes people misdiagnosed all the time while I can't, you know, stay in the direction as long as I want to, Like, that's not premature ejaculation means you can't penetrate an orifice that you want to and you won't last more than a minute, literally a minute. That's premature ejaculation. But just because a person you know, ejaculated to orgasm doesn't mean that sex has to be over. There are so many other things you can do that is sexual and pleasurable, So give yourself that grace, have fun with it. There's not a kind of one two, three, four step wise that you need to go with for sex and sexual pleasure. So we try and help them reorient around what sexual pleasure looks like, get back to whatever those basics work for them. And I can imagine that something that comes up often um is related to like a partner having a history of maybe sexual trauma, and then that of course making it difficult for you know, them to maybe have desire or maybe that's where some of the pelvic pain comes from. So what kinds of things do you do around that, Like to help with somebody who has had a history of sexual trauma, so it's sexual trauma, it depends on the type of trauma. I've had women who, like you, not want to disclose that they've had sexual trauma to their partners, and we work on building some trust and vulnerability for them to feel more support. But we also do some grounding exercises. So one of my clients was married, very in love with her husband, very turned on by her husband, but would have flashes back to a night when she was raped when she was with her husband, and so her husband would notice just her body going very very stiff, and we came up with a script for him to say to rehearse and also for him to notice that so he can stop doing what he's doing. But also she would touch her wedding ring and move her wedding ring around her finger and breathe in order to ground herself that she is with her husband, she is safe, and he would echo, you are safe. I am your husband, I love you, I care for you, and that helped her be more so in the moment and pull her back into present ten. So grounding exercises like that as well as maybe some e M d R, which is something that I'm trained in and it helps relieve PTSD anxiety symptoms. But also we can do sexual fantasy installation, which is not something that everybody can do, but it's really fun to do. Okay, so let's tell us more about what that is. So um M d R is something you can search. It has a lot of names to it and it's hard to spell, so I'm not gonna have to go through that. Yeah, we already did a podcast episode on that, so we can referge that for the basics. I'm talking about specifically what you were talking about like this, so sex fantasy installation, So people having access to what their fantasies look like. I always describe E. M d R As being able to kind of watch a movie and you can stop play, zoom in, zoom out, and we talk about like what does your fantasy look like? And the great thing about M b R is they can tell me as little or as much as they want to. And because I'm a sexologist, I hear and see a lot of stuff in the realm of sexuality, so there's not too much that surprises me anymore. And most people feel very comfortable with that. So we start off by looking at what it is you desire, and then they play the movie from there in their heads and they have a photograph that is a mental photograph that they go off of and it involves, evolves and develops from there. And so that can be really, really a powerful tool for people to get back to what do they want and what do they desire and then they can act those out if they want to, or they can just keep them for themselves. And that has been a tool that really helped people get back to center. Yeah, that does sound like a very powerful experience, like to kind of correct some of the things that may have happened in like a trauma. Yeah, So if someone looking for so you've mentioned a couple of times that you're sex oologists. So if someone is looking for a therapist or a sexologist to assist them with the kinds of concerns that you've mentioned, what kinds of things should they be looking for their particular certifications? Like what kinds of question should you be asking somebody who you're going through for this kind of work? So I would definitely go off of what they ask you. One, if they ask you about sex and sexuality. If they don't ask you, I would call them that as a red flag because it means that there might be a level of the discomfort. It should be a regular part of your assessment of your conversation, and it should be pretty easy in their narrative. If it's not something that's easy in or narrative, if they're like, oh, and what about your sex life and they're whispering about it, or it's rushed and you don't have much to say but they don't ask any follow up questions, those are red flags. I am a Certified Sexuality Educator with a SEXT which is a a S e c T, which is the American Association of sexologists, educators, clinicians and therapists, and we have a directory so a sec dot org as well as there's a bunch of different others, but that tends to be the main powerhouse for clinicians and therapists. However, there are accessibility issues. It can be expensive to be certified and takes a lot. So you also want to look for somebody who might do work or community service or even on their website has lgbt Q plus friendly on their website. So oftentimes these people are more well versed in sex and sexuality and being accepting of all sorts of lifestyles because you know joy some of your listeners might be polyamorous and might be scared to go talk to somebody because they're polyamorous and they might be judged or their kids might be threatened to be taken away. Um. Some of your listeners also might be sex workers, and sex workers oftentimes has come with a lot of stigma and people think that it's all about the sex work when it's not. It's like, actually, i'm depressed for this other reason. It's not my sex work or my job. So looking at looking at their blogs see if there's anything sexuality based or if it's mentioned in their blogs is really important too. And there's also sexual addiction counselors. Um A sex is not somebody who supports sexual addiction, but there are very well versed sexual addiction. So that's the c SAT S c s a t UM Certified Sexual Addictions therapist, so you can look for that if that's the type that you're looking for as well. Okay, that's a good information. Now can you tell me more about UM why a SEC does not recognize sexual addiction? So addiction actually looks a lot different when it comes to things that you need, right, So like food addiction, UM, sex addiction is more so behavioral then it is psychological and the fact that you're inducing a drug into your body. So if you compare the brains of somebody who is a sex addict versus somebody who was a meth addict, the brains look vastly different and the responses in the brain are vastly different. So, yes, you get oxytocin, which is a feel good hormone boost in your brain when you're engaging in sexual play, hopefully if it's pleasurable. But we consider that people are using sex and sexuality as a coping mechanism poorly used, and it's more so behavioral because it's something that you need. It's something that's natural and innate versus introducing a foreign substance into your body. God it okay. So I know a lot of the work that you are doing right now. You have a program called Masturbation Mastery. So I want to hear more about this program and want to hear more about why you think it's important to focus on masturbation and as a topic. So masturbation also known this solo sex, right is oftentimes the first introduction to sex and sexual pleasure that people have, and there's so much taboo around it. Right. So being a recovering Baptist, it was your your hands are gonna get harry if you masturbate, and all of the other like just stereotypes. One of my co workers once told a boy that his penis is gonna fall off because he was masturbating, and I was like, oh, oh oh wait, wait, no, no, we're not We're not going to do that. Um. So I do offer a Masturbation Mastery class, and I think it's really important because you've gotta know yourself. You gotta know yourself. In my office, I often teach people who come in that you are the person that's responsible for your orgasm, not your partner. So your partner is not supposed to know how to unlock this box and put together this puzzle of who you are to make you climax. Not their job. It's your job to be able to direct them to go through this maze to know what's arousal, Like do you know which side of your clitters is more sensitive than the other have you tried that? And do you know which part of your penis do you feel like less likely to have an orgasm when stroked? Or do you know the type of speed you like or the pressure you like. Also exploring your g spot, which is like internal So getting really comfortable with those pieces and parts of yourself so you can be comfortable to share it with somebody else and reach peak pleasure. Again, I told you that we don't center the penis in my work, and in not centering the penis, there are so many other things you can do, Like you can mutually masturbate with your partner, so watching them pleasing themselves or having them watch you, or doing that at the same time and then coming together as much as you want to come together. So you're doing your own warm up there. And if you ever talk to my lover, my lover thinks that I think that sex solves everything. Um and pretty much you do. So when I have a headache, I'm like, babe, we need to have sex. He's because you have a headache. I was like, I know, it's gonna make the headache go away. I don't think sex solves this, so I'm like whatever. So with that, it definitely helps, like relax, It helps you love on yourself just a little bit, find yourself beautiful. You can do different positions and masturbation to have different types of orgasm feelings and different types of pleasurable feelings. So it's really important to not only ground yourself, but so you can communicate how that you like to be pleased. So lex is this uh in person? Courses? This online? Like? How did what's the format of the of the classes? My courses? In person? Uh? So we go through body parts. We talk about the legs of the clitterest because people often think it's just the quote unquote man on the boat. It's not. It's a whole network. It actually has legs and other parts that can be stimulated. We talked about parts of the penis as well, and we talked about um different types of toys. There's like a sex toy quiz to see what type of sex toy might be best suited for you, and then we go through all of the different types of sex toys. Uh, if you ever try and out of sex toy, take the toy, turn it on. If it's a vibrating sex toy, and put it to your nose. And I know that sounds weird. It does. Know you're like, I'm okay, wipe it off, bring a baby white, You're okay, they're cleaning the star. Put it to your nose, and that level of vibration you feel in your nose will be like the level of vibration you will feel on your clitter ist because it's the same kind of spongey tissue. So if it's too much on your nose, it'll be too much on your clitterest. If it's not enough on your nose, it won't be enough on your clitterest. If it's just right, then it's just right. And buy that one um as well as we I use Oh my god, yes, and oh my god, Yes, is this tool where it teaches you how to do different strokes on actual volva's. It's pretty graphic. It gives a little video blurm, but literally you use a touch screen like your phone and you stimulate a volva and a clitterest to try and bring that person whatever the avatar is, to orgasm. So we need that class too. This is an advanced technology. This it is. I was so excited. I was so excited. I went through my office trying to show people and I'm like, oh wait, everybody's everybody's not on Okay, everybody right? So how many classes? Is it? Like a one time class or like multiple meetings? This is just a one time class right now. Not sure if it evolve, but it's something I get to do that's fun and again getting back to the self care and being that pleasure is a right. So I thought that masturbation was a good place to start with that. Yeah, I am sure that after this podcast episode airs, you will have lots of um context and hey, can we make this an online class? Yeah, so you may want to go ahead and start thinking about So what are some of your favorite resources? Lex You know, sisters always love like books and podcast episodes and websites that they can go to to find more information about this stuff. What are some of your favorite resources? Oh my gosh, So favorite resources include She Comes First. It's a book. It talks about female pleasure and getting there and again the right to pleasure. Uh. Then there's the Pleasure Mechanics. They're on Amazon and they're actually authors and they have I don't know, I felt really lucky. I got to download all of their books for free. I think it's like thirteen or fifteen books. Have three hundred and sixty five sexual things to do and how to do oral on a person of penis um. It's like a guide's kind of lingus, which is oral on a personal revolva. Right, So it has all of these differently how to books and how to explore books that are really quick, easy short reads, super inexpensive. Um Come As You Are is another book that's really about exploration about female sexuality and power. Anything by Nancy Friday that's all sexual fantasies, Like literally she gathered sexual fantasies of women. And if you're looking for what your sexual fantasy might be, or if you want some validation, if you just want to read something seemy you can do that um Afro Sexology. Afro Sexology is a group here in St. Louis. They're my girls, and they have a bunch of different classes. They travel and they do just dope work and they also do a lot of community organizing and are into art. So if you're looking for just like dope, black art and sexuality, definitely tune into Afro Sexology. If you have a kid and you're looking for some support. Their Scarlet Team and they have their youth led website and they have just all sorts of medically accurate, comprehensive information. And then there's also Bedsider which is about birth control and contraceptive information. And then there's also Advocates for Youth and that's across all sorts of orientations. So l g B, t Q at A, if your kid is coming out, if you don't know what to do, all those type of things, go to advocates for you. So those are just some of the resources. Of course, I'm resource, So you want to send me an email. I will try and find and support however I can. If you can't find it. That is a great list. I'm sure that a lot of people will enjoy those. So anything new coming out of your practice that you want to share licks, like any new classes or programs or anything that you're doing. So just them getting my book together. So The Black Girl's Guide to Getting rid of Sexual Shame. I'm trying to make it a birthday gift to myself, so to release it in July. And it really just walks through the model of talking about how to get rid of sexual shame, how to identify it, what it looks like, what it does to you, and how it manifests in your life and trying to minimize that. So that is my my baby that I'm working on right now and I'm super excited about. And if they go to your website, we'll get that information in a second. Is there some way they can sign up to, like know when the book is released? Um, there will be after today. Well, they can always sign up on my mailing lists to the website, okay, and I'm probush to start another mailing list as a professional or just the book, just the book. And what is your website? So my website is lex l E double X, the word sex s e X and the word doc d O C like dr dot com. So Lex sex dot dot com. And that's also what I am on all social media, on Instagram, on Twitter, on Facebook. If you put in like sex doc, you will find me perfect. Well. Thank you so much for sharing all this information with us today, Lex, I really appreciate it. Thank you for having me. I'm super flattered. You're welcome. Thank you. So what do you think? Dr Lex is incredible? Right? Be sure to check out all the incredible resources that she mentioned at Therapy for Black Girls dot Com slash session. If you'd like to continue this conversation, come on over and join us in the thrive Tribe, which is the Facebook community for the podcast. You can request to join at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Tribe. And remember that if you're looking for a therapist in your area, visit the directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. Before we wrap up, I'm also super excited to announce the new partnership between Therapy for Black Girls and the Crisis text Line. The Crisis text Line is a free seven support for those in crisis. If you're ever experiencing a crisis and feel like you need some support, you can text Tribe t R I b E two seven one, seven for one from anywhere in the US to text with a trained crisis counselor. I'm very thankful a resource like this exists and hope that you'll take advantage of it. If you feel like you need to again, you can access that line by texting the word tribe to seven four one seven four one. That's over this week, y'all. Looking forward to continue in this conversation with you real soon. Take care. Five