Session 48: Career Questions Answered

Published Mar 14, 2018, 7:00 AM
This week's episode features Dr. Marian Higgins, Licensed Professional Counselor & Career Counselor. Dr. Higgins and I discussed how you can find a career that’s a good fit for you, managing stress and microagressions in the workplace, some of the common mistakes you may be making in your career, and she shared all of her favorite career resources.

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Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, where we discuss all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. To get more information and resources, visit the website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. And while I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session forty eight of the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. Today's episode we'll focus on a topic many of you have had questions about your career. I'm happy to bring you a conversation I had with Mary and Higgins, who is a licensed professional counselor and career counselor. But before we jump into that conversation, I want to give you a bit of an update and some more information about one of our returning sponsors. We're very happy to again be partnering with med i Q, an accredited medical education company that provides an exceptional educational experience for physicians, nurses, pharmacists, and other health care professionals to raise awareness about depression. This partnership was made possible by a grant from Takeda Pharmaceuticals USA Incorporated and Lundbeck. You'll remember that in session thirty three of the podcast, we discussed steadying yourself for the holidays, and this is where you were first introduced to the survey. I asked you to complete All About Depression. Almost four thousand people completed that survey, including six hundred of you. We've gotten the result of that survey back, and there were some very interesting results that I wanted to discuss. The most common symptoms reported included reported loss of energy, reported irritability, reported difficulty thinking or making decisions, and seventy reported feelings of hopelessness. The reason I found these results in particular fascinating is that these symptoms also seem like they would be very likely missed are attributed to something else. They're not the typical symptoms we hear about with depression, which is why I think it's so important for us to have accurate information about the symptoms of depression and how to get help if you need it. If you have not heard Session four of the podcast, Am I Really Depressed? I'd encourage you to give it a listen as it further discusses these issues. But I also want to remind you of three important key points about depression. Number One, it is very common. Depression affects about one in fifteen adults each year, and one out of every six people experienced depression at some point in their life, as many as one out of their lifetime. Two, symptoms of depression can vary from feelings of sadness to difficulty sleeping, to gastro intestinal problems to physical aches and pains, and these symptoms will all vary from person to person. And three, being honest and open with your doctor about your symptoms and family history is critical in determining the best treatment plan for you. Medication in combination with cognitive behavioral therapy is one of the most common approaches to depression. I hope that you'll again join me in this very important effort by completing the second round of the survey. The survey is a little different this time, so if you completed it the first time, I'd love for you to complete this one and would also encourage anyone who hasn't yet completed the survey to do so. The purpose of the survey is to get a better sense of what you already know about depression. The survey shouldn't take any longer than ten minutes, and upon completion, you will be entered into a drawing to win one of ten one hundred dollar Visa gift cards. You can find the survey at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash med i q, and all of this information will of course be included in the show notes for you to reference later if necessary. Thank you so much in advance for your help with this very important project to raise awareness about depression. Now let's get back to the episode. Dr Marion Higgins is the owner of Be Inspired Counseling and Consulting LS, a personal and development company specializing in educating, inspiring, and equipping professionals to become successful in the workplace. Dr Higgins is a licensed professional counselor in Georgia and a career counselor. She has over sixteen years of experience providing career counseling in community and college settings. She specializes in career preparation and career transitions for marginalized groups. As an experience consultant and speaker. Dr Higgins provides consultations, workshops, and trainings focusing on career management and diversity, equity and inclusion in the workplace. Dr Higgins is also a clinical Assistant professor in the Counseling and Human Development Services Department at the University of Georgia. She received her pH d in counter personnel services from the University of Georgia, a Master of Science degree in counseling from the University of Memphis, and a Bachelor of Arts degree from Wesleyan University in Middletown, Connecticut. Marian and I discussed how you can find a career that's good for you, managing stress and microaggressions in the workplace, some of the common mistakes you may be making in your career, and of course, she shares all of her favorite career resources. Here's our conversation. Thanks so much for joining us today, Marian, Oh, thank you for having me Joy, I appreciate the opportunity. Yeah, so, I definitely wanted to have you come on because I get a lot of questions about um, like career issues and how that impacts mental health and dealing with you know, things that happened in the workplace and stuff like that. So I definitely wanted to bring on someone who is a career counselor to help us talk through some of this stuff. So one of the main questions that I often hear, UM is, you know, struggling to find a career that's a good fit for people? UM, So do you have any suggestions for people who are like trying to figure out, okay, what will be a good career fit for me? Sure? A lot of times I think people want to find something so quickly that they forget a couple of important steps to the process of finding a career that's a good fit for them. So a couple of things come to mind, UM when I think about finding fit, and I always like to start with self awareness. So are they really aware of um, their skills, their abilities, their interests, values, even personality type can play into this as well as their strengths, because I think having that information can give them more insight into what type of career may be a good fit for them. UM. So everything may not be applicable to you, UM, but you may be able to utilize your skills and interests UM in other and other jobs. And so I think definitely looking at what you possess and what you have to offer, and then thinking about, okay, what types of jobs might work for me? UM. I think the other thing too is looking at environment. UM. Oftentimes that's overlooked to UM. Again, just wanting to have a job, not necessarily thinking about, well what type of environment do I want to be in? And so questions I like to ask, you know, do you want to work in an office? Uh? Do you want to travel? Do you want to work in the outdoors? You know? Do you want to work on a team or independently? Um? Do you desire to work where there's a lot of diversity in your job responsibilities, but also diversity in terms of people you know? Are there? Can you look in at this particular company and see people who might look like you or you know, people who might share similar interests and so is that appealing to you as well? And then of course location, looking at you know, do you want to work, um, somewhere that is close to where you are in the cities and the suburb or even online? You know, these days you can work remotely and so is that something you're looking for UM in the next opportunity? Yeah, so it definitely sounds like there are a lot of different factors that you could consider. There's not just one thing that's gonna decide whether a career is gonna be a good fit for you, right, And I think you have to look at all those factors in order to make decisions. UM. So once you know you understand yourself, the environment, then looking at okay, what are my possibilities given this information. So something that also comes up a lot is this idea of like following your passion, right, And it feels like that you're your passion and your purpose, and it feels like that it is often tied to career. So what are your thoughts about finding your purpose and passion through your career? Sure, that is a word that you often hear ashon UM as well as purpose and so UM people think that if I don't if I'm not doing something I'm passionate about, then I'm not doing the right thing. And so I often like to tell people to think about UM kind of their natural abilities. What are some of the things that may come natural to you? What are some of the things that you really enjoy doing? Maybe even thinks that people may compliment you on UM and say you know, actually you're very well, you do very well with UM and engaging with other people or demonstrating hospitality towards others, and so that may be something that naturally comes to you that you are unaware that other people may not possess that same skill set. And so for me that kind of helps defind what purpose maybe or even what may where passion may exist UM. And also looking at you know, is there a need that you feel like you can feel UM, whether it's in the community, be or on your job, that may also give some indication to what purpose you may have or even passion. But I also think that sometimes when people think about I have to be passionate about this, they will overlook so many other things that they may be good at, and so that may those things they may very well um be able to do well and be successful in a career as well. Hunt. So you are saying that you know, like you could be passionate about something, but that doesn't necessarily need to translate to your career. That you may want to look at actually what you're good at and try to funnel yourself that way in terms of finding a career. Right, So passion um, you know something that you're passionate about. It could be a career. But also sometimes I've worked with clients who said, you know, I'm not said, I don't necessarily want to do that on a day to day basis. Maybe I want to do that as a hobby, or maybe I want to do that in terms of all and tearing and so. UM. It doesn't always have to align with career, but it can align with career too, UM. And so it just depends on you know, what level of engagement you know that you might want to have with whatever interest you may have. Got it Okay, So something else I think that would be important to talk about, you know, like as we're kind of approaching we're right in the spring semester for those of us who are you know, still in school. Um, this is spring semester, which means that we're heading towards graduation. UM. And so I do think you know, you often see a lot of stress for UM undergrads as well as grad students around like being able to find a job and you know, secure something after graduation. So do you have suggestions for anybody who it seems like they've done all of the right things right, like they have the good g p A, they've been involved in the community, they have great letters of recommendation, but they still can't quite figure out how to find on the job after graduation. Sure that is a common challenge UM that I've found in working with with clients as well. And so, UM, one of the things I like to start with this kind of the package. What package are you presenting to employers? UM? So that can be anything from the resume, the cover letter, and even now you're linked in profile, UM, So what message are you conveying through these materials and so UM, I would start with you know, what kind of language is reflected in your resume or within your cover letter. UM, that demonstrates that you meet the qualifications, UM, that you have interest in this specific area. So some people will just list like job responsibilities under each of their UM positions on their resume. And so while that's helpful, that doesn't really show an employer what you've accomplished. And most ofmployers are looking for accomplishments and they want you to quantify things. And so I would say even just taking a look at your resume to see what you're showcasing, as well as looking at your cover letter to see UM what information is there, UM, what what holds maybe need to be feel maybe UM speaking more of the language of what's in the job description so that you can get the eye of the employer. UM. So I think packaging them materials is very important and having somebody to review it, you know, whether it's a career counselor UM, someone in HR even could you know, take a glance and give you some ideas about what you may want to have on your resume and then your cover letter as well as your linked in profile. UM. The other thing that a lot of people overlook is networking. The power of networking. UM. Most people find their jobs through networking, and so UM. I know sometimes two people may think, oh, well, I don't want to network or I don't know how to network. UM. But networking is simply you know, sharing who you are, UM, the interest that you have, and then also UM learning more about the individual that you may be talking to, whether it's at a networking event or even if you want to UM schedule a meeting with someone to learn more about the position or a company that you may be interested in. UM. But networking is definitely powerful, Definitely having a presence on LinkedIn and networking through LinkedIn is another strategy that I would often encourage people UM to utilize. Yeah, I mean it definitely feels like UM LinkedIn has grown in popularity and it does feel like, you know, people are reaching out more and more for UM like employment opportunities through that platform. Yes, it's definitely if you don't have a LinkedIn profile, I would encourage you to do so. UM employers are kind type thing individuals through LinkedIn UM. But then also you're able to maybe connect with people UM from your alma mater UM who you know, have experience and can give you some corners about you know, what you should do in order to land that job you're looking for, right something else that comes up? Of course? You know, like work can be stressful, right, Like we spend a lot of hours in our workplace sometimes and so a lot of times that leads to increased stress. So do you have any tips for how we can get better at managing stress in the workplace? Sure? UM, Yes, stresses definitely something that can take over UM, and with more and more demand for us to take on more at work, UM, I think that also leads to stress, and so UM some things that I have, you know, talked with clients about as well as my own colleagues. You know, looking at our job is ons abilities, because a lot of times we don't UM assess what our job responsibilities are. UM. We oftentimes will just receive a job description when we first start, and then we usually don't pay attention to anything that may be added along the way. Um So nothing is usually taken away, but it's usually just adding all the time. And so I think we it's important that we paused and take note of the work that we are doing as well as maybe the work we no longer need to do, and have a conversations with our supervisor about our workload and our ability to manage it. UM. So this can happen on an annual basis, but also think it could happen during our annual evaluation too, but it doesn't necessarily have to be during that time. Another thing is um establishing and maintaining boundaries. And I know you've talked about you know, boundaries and establishing them in a previous episode, UM, but I think definitely looking at what boundaries that you need to create at the workplace and communicating those boundaries to UM up those that you work with, whether it's your supervisor as well as people that may report to you. So something simple as you know, letting staff know when you're available for checking. So if someone wants to have a conversation with you, just making them aware when you are available to have those conversations. UM. The other thing is you know, saying when enough is enough. A lot of times we just keep going and going and don't communicate UM to our supervisors when we've had enough. And so definitely I've encouraged clients to talk about that with their supervisors and letting them know what their limits are and asking for help is another UM strategy that I would encourage people to utilize as well. UM thinking about you know what projects and tasks that require a lot of their time and effort and then asking other people to help them with those particular tasks. UM. And finally, the other thing I would say is building building in breaks at work. I think we don't take a lot of breaks UM. So I talked with clients before about just going for a walk, you know, if you need to, UM, take a break from being in the office and just on email, because we can get sucked in the email. So just taking a break from UM email and taking a walk UM, or even taking lunch. I think a lot of us assume that we UM everyone takes lunch, but not a lot of people I'm finding take their lunch break and so they're always working. So I think definitely taking time for lunch. And some people even choose to be active at lunch and so maybe going to a fitness class or something like that. So those are some of the things that I would suggest. Yeah, and you mentioned UM like having conversations maybe with your boss about like having to maybe renegotiate your workload or you know, things like that, and I'm thinking like, oh, those could be difficult conversations to have. So do you have any tips for like how you can have those conversations? Sure, UM, So I think, UM, just making sure that your supervisor UM knows what you are doing on and I would say even on a weekly basis, if you're making them aware of just things that you're doing all along UM, so that does it come as a surprise to them when you wanted to sit down and have this conversation. So for example, if you are working on a particular project, you might want to give them an update on that project, or if you're working on UM, you know, some external UM the project too that maybe they're not aware of that you have your hands in this, maybe you're being pulled in from another office or another division. And so making them aware of what you're doing all the time, I think it's a way to begin to have that communication. And so then when it's time for you to actually sit down and talk with them, UM, you're able to say, you know, here are the things that I shared with you that I'm doing all along, and so I just want to make you aware of the impact that this is having on me. UM. While I enjoy doing these things, I also learned that it's impacting, you know, my ability to sleep at night because I'm you know, stressed out, or maybe it's impacting UM my ability and to engage with others at work. And so really talking about what the impact is, so not just going in there and saying I'm doing too much, but talking about what the impact may be on you UM. And so I think that gives them more insight to Okay, this person is not necessarily just trying to get rid of doing work, but this is really someone I value who show me that they're doing the work, but maybe they do need some help and UM and either managing or delegating work. Okay, okay, so you think kind of being very clear with UM what you've been doing and also communicating the impact that it's having on you. I mean in some of these suggestions that you're giving require people to maybe be very vulnerable, right like if you m are saying that this is causing me to lose sleep at night or I'm feeling really anxious, you know, that definitely requires you to be vulnerable and maybe UM ensued that your boss is a safe person to talk to exactly and I and so that speaks to a couple of things I think like relationship. You know, what type of relationship do you have with your supervisor? And you know, I'm figuring out, UM when it's appropriate to share with them, So that would that would require you to know, um, you know, the your supervisor's communication style and how they receive information. So UM, So definitely establishing a relationship, but oftentimes too UM, as black women, we just take on things and we don't communicate at all, and we're not vulnerable and sharing how our work is impacting us. And so definitely, UM, it does require some vulnerability, but if you are wanting to see a change or make it make a difference in how you may be feeling or managing things that work, is definitely a conversation that is worth having. Okay, got you. So something else that, of course is a hot topic, maybe now more than ever, UM is related to like racial microaggressions in the workplace. UM, So can you share some insight about that because I know I often have conversations with women that talk about UM, you know, just kind of these things that are happening in the workplace that make it been harder to kind of just show up for work every day. Sure, UM, I definitely have seen that as well. UM more microaggressions at work and just people wanting to know how do I handle UM a microaggression? And so I think, you know, first just kind of defining what micro aggressions are, UM, you know during excuse me. Daryl Wayne Sue UM, who is well known for his work UM studying micro aggression, defines it as UM a brief and commonplace daily like verbal or behavioral or environmental indignity UM, whether it's intentional or unintentional UM, and it can communicate hostility UM derogatory or negative or racial gender UM, sexual orientation, or religious slights and insults and so UM. The way this may manifest in the workplace is if an individual UM feels like UM there are comments that are made towards them. So for example, you, UM, you speak very good English. Or sometimes I've often heard UM black women talk about UM you sound They've been told you sound like UM, you're white. UM. So those types of comments UM, or even UM just not being included as a part of an assignment or even sometimes networking or social events. So UM. They may see UM their colleagues being invited to these things, but they're not being asked to participate, or they UM may see that they're colleagues are being recognized in meetings UM and and called on to offer insight, but yet they're not. And so oftentimes this will lead to UM a lot of UM, you know, mental health concerns UM so anything from anxiety, UM, depression, UM, feelings of I'm not good enough, UM, feeling helpless, especially if there's someone that's you know, not an advocate for you in the workplace, and so, you know, is there anybody that I can really go to and talk to about UM what's going on? And while I'm feeling this way, UM, definitely some paranoia, you know, and that goes back to UH, the feeling UM like can I trust the people that I'm working with? UM? And so I think that brings up a lot of issues for black women UM. And so you know, some of the things that I have talked with women about UM one is you know, what is it that you can do UM. So you can definitely choose to UM ignore it, but then you can also choose to address it UM. And so what I've found not only just UM clients, but even colleagues have talked about UM choosing to share with someone they trust, So a trusted friend, a trusted colleague UM, and someone even say maybe a colleague that is even UM in a different level UM position at their company. And so that person may be in a position to be able to have conversations UM with the supervisor or even give advice on how to handle UM MY progressions in the workplace. And then that also helps the helps the employee feel like, Okay, I have someone that is in my corner, so I'm not alone in this UM. This is somebody who's listening to me. I feel heard. UM. This is someone who can validate my experience and so UM I think that is helpful because oftentimes UM colleagues may not understand UM if you were to present to them that that you know, you felt this way or when someone said this, this is what UM the impact was on you. So I think having an advocate at work is helpful. UM. Others have also linked to their faith UM whatever that may be UM, but they rely on that to kind of get them through it. So they may not necessarily address it head on, but they feel like at least if I, UM, can you know, pray about it or whatever they choose to do, that it will make them feel better or less stressed about the situation got you. So it sounds like really kind of developing your own routines and a support system would be really important in dealing with some of this stuff. Definitely, I definitely think the support system is important because it is it is a lot to carry, I think mentally UM for someone to just not be able to have some form of an outlet UM where they can express or even share what they're feeling. Something else that I often suggest is UM making a log of any incidents that happened around, you know, like racial microaggressions in the workplace, like so that you have documentation about what's been happening. Yes, I think that's a great idea, and then they're able to share that. I would even say with a supervisor to or even if they were addressing the person, um face to face the person who um, actually you know made the comment or um, you know did something to them, I would say, um that it's a great way to show you know, here is what you've done or what was said to me. And I also like to add in there the um, the whole intent but versus impact. Um, so letting them understand this may be your intention, but then here's the impact that it has had on me. Um. Because a lot of times, you know, with microaggressions, the purpose the perpetrator doesn't necessarily know the impact that it has on the individual. Right. And again though, it feels like you would have to kind of know something about that person to know whether it was even worth having that conversation, right, I mean, because I can imagine you know, some things maybe more um kind of subconscious, and a person doesn't know that they would be offending you. But I think some things that happened in the workplace are very clear, UM that this would be offensive and then people just you know, think that they can't get away with it exactly. So I think, you know, eat regardless, you know, figuring out what is the best way to have, um, a conversation with that person and so UM, I definitely don't advise UM, you know, having conversations in front of everyone, but pulling someone to the side and saying, you know, although this was said in a meeting, UM, this was the impact that it had on me, got you Okay. So what are some of the common mistakes that you see sisters make in the workplace? Mary, and like, do you have any tips or you know, like, hey, watch out for this kinds of strategies for people. Sure, UM, And a couple of them go back to your you know, your question about UM even managing stress in the workplace, so, UM, you know, failing to advocate for themselves is one thing that I've definitely seen. UM. So individuals who will um not express what they need UM in the workplace, UM, just feeling like they had that whatever is giving to them is okay, UM, but not expressing what they need in order to complete task, or just even to be able to be a function and employee. UM. The other thing in terms of advocating for themselves is being able to UM talk about what you've done, what you accomplished UM. And so that's important for the supervisor as well as colleagues to know, UM your accomplishments. And so often times I've worked with clients who may be withdrawn, you know, and so they may not want to share that information or feel like I don't want that at that recognition. But in actuality, you know your keep your colleagues or peers may be doing that and so UM your supervisor may only be aware of what they're doing and not what you're doing. UM. So I think the other thing is being in an organization for a long time. You know you're doing your job, you're doing your best, but then you're not being confident say that for the work that you're doing. And so UM. I think that speaks to like I said earlier about UM working hard and not knowing limits UM. And so oftentimes will work hard, give our all and then not requests that we UM receive compensation. Because sometimes a supervisor or you know, a president of a company, a CEO they may not feel, you know, feel like they should offer you compensation or promote you. UM. And sometimes we have to be the advocate and say that that we need that. UM. The other thing is not building relationships with decision makers and influencers. So uh, when it comes to decision makers, you know, people who are making decisions about how the company is ran, as well as people who, um, you know, make decisions about what projects um uh you know, people that have an opportunity to work on as well as promotions. And so I think that's important for us to um talk about you know, what we do not receive as a result of that, or what we may miss out on as a result of not building those relationships. And so that could lead to you feeling like, Okay, I'm not a part of um the circle at work that knows about things that's going on, or I don't feel like, you know, up administration knows who I am. And so it's definitely important to make sure that we develop those relationships and and and that we are being noticed at work. So what kinds of things would um someone come to a career counselor for mary and so I know, you know, like if you're in school, you're likely familiar with the career center. And you know, people I think don't necessarily think that career counselors exist outside of like an academ make institution. So just in kind of like general you know, for the general public, people who are not in school, what kinds of concerns and I some want be having that would cause them to like maybe make an appointment with you. Sure. So of course if they are trying to find a job, that's the common thing that I will hear. You know, people who are UM or trying to find a job and they can't find work, and so they're wanting to figure out, you know, how to make that happen. Uh. Also people who are you know, transitioning. You know, maybe they've been an industry for quite some time and so now they're looking for UM other opportunities and other industries and maybe or they may not even know what another opportunity might be, and so they may come to a career counselor to learn more about UM, what options do I have? UM. Also, if someone needs help within viewing, you know, that is oftentimes a part of the whole dot search processes. You've got an interview and so interview coaching and and getting some strategies tips on how to interview UM salary negotiations skills, so just learning how to negotiate salary or just the compensation package in general, maybe something UM. I've even also had UM. You know, couples that may come in UM and together they may talk about how work is impacting one or the other and so UM even talking through strategies that they could use in their relationship to help support one another, UM in career decision making. UM. So those are a couple of things that I have UM work with clients on. Oh so you mentioned something that I'm sure a lot of people would be interested in UM, like negotiating like your salary. Do you have any like quick tips for somebody who you know maybe at that point, like in the interview, like they've gotten an offer and now they're like in the negotiation phase. Sure, number one thing is knowing your word UM, so, knowing what you bring to the table UM. And of course you can look at a job description, no, your qualification, no, the qualifications and how you meet that those qualifications. But if you have UM specific skill sets experiences that go beyond what's offered, I mean that's more valuable than just meeting the qualifications and so leveraging that UM when you're in negotiation about UM the position you know you're seeking. UH. The other thing too is research. A lot of people don't research, UM how much people are paid in the different positions that they are looking UM that they're looking for. And so definitely UM researching UM you know salary, researching UM you know what the if you're excuse me, if you are looking to relocate, knowing UM, you know how much is the cost of living where you are planning to relocate, and so I think that is important UM. And when you're UM planning to and then negotiate, also think about not only salary, but are there other things that you want to negotiate? So is it professional association memberships, UM? Do you need to negotiate time UM to be able to uh do other projects, maybe some community service involvement that you have in the community, or maybe you need to negotiate time so that you can be home by a certain time if you have family that you need to take care of. So there's other things that you can negotiate, travel to conferences, those types of things, UM. But definitely not so solely liiimiting it to salary god it So that sounds like that would lead to like being when you mentioned having to do some research, sounds like that would be like some good resources and stuff that you could offer. UM. So, do you have any resources for finding things like salary or other career resources that you really enjoy? Sure? UM? So I know, UM, you know, some people will definitely talk with other individuals and ask them, um, you know, salary questions. So for example, if you are doing some networking and you want to learn about, you know, what salaries um to expect or maybe even a salary range for a specific position. UM. Definitely that is a way that you can find out information about salary UM. Salary dot com um also has information on salary um. And then there's another resource UM paycheck City um that people will use to you know, as a salary calculator resource. UM. So, I would definitely encourage people to to utilize those resources. And what about any other kind of just general books about like you mentioned, like finding a good career fit and you know, figuring out your passion those kinds of things. Any resources for that? Sure? Um. Let your Life Speak by Parker Palmer is one that I really enjoy reading. And this particular book speaks to finding your purpose and passion UM, so that you know that was something we talked about earlier and so UM Parker Palmer really talks about UM looking at your life and looking at UM what you were created to do. UM. So it's my go to book even when I need to be reminded about my purpose UM. And that we just talked about negotiation but asked for it by Linda Babcop and Sarah less Sever UM. And this book addresses how we can use negotiations and to get what we want. Specifically it um is a book for women, but anyone can read it, but definitely focuses on women and negotiation UM. And this book teaches you how to negotiate anything, so not just things that work, but in life in general UM. And then it also includes like negotiation challenges and scripts you can use for negotiation. So I just used this book to facilitate a negotiation session with women who are aspiring to be administrators, and so they really value the content in the book and the session. So those are definitely to go to books UM that I like to use. And then I also refer people to read perfect. So where can we find you online? Mary? And what's your website in any social media handles you'd like to share. Well, I can be found on my website, UM, which is be inspired uh llc dot com and so definitely check me out there, and then also on Twitter, I am, you can find me under maryan Speaks. And of course if you like to connect with me on LinkedIn, UM, I'm definitely I'm open to that as well, and so just make sure you include a little note letting me know, UM that uh, you're referencing this episode of Therapy for Black Girls, So I just want to make sure, um, you know that I'm familiar with my context too, so I appreciate that absolutely. I'm sure that you will definitely get an influx in invitations on LinkedIn after this episode airs awesome. I look forward to connecting with focus and nice. Well, thank you so much for joining us today, Marian, Well, thank you for having me join. I'd like to thank Marian again for sharing such incredible information with us. Make sure to check out the resources she mentioned and get links to her work in the show notes at the Therapy for Black Girls dot Com slash session forty eight, and of course, make sure to share your thoughts about the episode with us on social media using the hashtag tb G in session. You can find us on Twitter at Therapy for the Number four B Girls, and you can find us on Instagram and Facebook at Therapy for Black Girls. Before we wrap up, i'd like to again remind you of our partnership with med i Q, made possible by the support of Cicada Pharmaceuticals USA Incorporated and Lundbeck. As we work to raise awareness about depression. Please help us in this effort by filling out the brief survey. The survey shouldn't take any longer than ten minutes, and upon completion, you will be entered into a drawing to win one of ten one dollar visa gift cards. You can find the survey at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash med i q. If you're looking for a therapist in your area, be sure to check out the therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory. And if you'd like to continue the conversations we start here on the podcast, come on over and join us in the tribe. You can find that at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash Tribe. Please continue to show your love for the podcast by sharing it in your Instant stories on Twitter, and by texting those who you think should also check it out. If you listen on Apple Podcasts, please also consider leaving us a review. Thank you so much again for joining me this week. I'm looking forward to continuing this conversation with you all real soon. Take care part i oft oft I Doctor, Doctor

Therapy for Black Girls

The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a license 
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