Session 136: 20 Questions for 2020

Published Dec 18, 2019, 8:00 AM
In today's episode I'm sharing 20 questions to help you set the tone for your 2020.

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Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr Joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much for joining me for Session one six of the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. This is our last session of Can y'all believe it's almost like most of you? As the year wraps up, I tend to get reflective and thinking about what this year has been like and how I like the next year to look, And I thought it might be helpful to share some of the questions I'm pondering with all of you, to perhaps help you to set the tone for your as well. Now, by no means is this list meant to be exhaustive. I don't want you leaving this episode thinking that you have to focus on every single one of these areas next year. I just want to share them in the hopes of getting you to think about what could look like for you in any areas that might need a little bit of extra exploration. Question No. One. What kind of physical activity will you participate in on a regular basis? Have you been doing something that you love that you plan to continue. Will you be trying out something new? What's a plan for moving your body in You heard Dr Jackie and I in Session ninety one talk all about the mental health benefits we received from regular physical activity, so I definitely want you to consider what that will look like for you next year. Number two, how can you add healthier food options to your diet? I don't know if you've seen the most recent episode of Red Table Talk, but if you haven't, you definitely should check it out. The whole episode share the results of some testing the Smith family had done earlier this year to find out more about their health and how what they were eating was impacting their health. I learned quite a lot from the episode and want to do more research into how food impacts our body overall, but more specifically our mood. Question Number three what role is social media playing in your life? So this is one of those areas that can be really complicated. Right. They're some incredibly great things about social media. It allows us to connect with one another, find our people, discussed important issues, etcetera. But it can also impact our mental health and ways that I don't think we always recognize. Something I've noticed about myself is that when I'm procrastinating on working something that I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by, I tend to do more scrolling on social media. I've also heard other share that they've noticed an increase in anxiety after they post things on social media, feeling occupied by how people will respond or worried about the reception it will have. So, like I said, there are lots of great things about social media, but I just want to make sure that we're keeping it in perspective and clear about how we're using it. If you haven't already selected the option on your phone to see how much time you're spending on your phone every week, I'd really encourage you to do this because it can be a great weekly reminder of whether the time you're spending on your phone proportional to the rest of your life. Question number four, what is your bed of time? Do you strive to get seven to nine hours of sleep each night? If not, what's stopping you? Do you have a solid bedtime routine that signals to your brain that it's time to shut down for the day. If not, think about what yours might look like. Does the temperature need to be set to a certain level. Do you need a diffuser with a scent that induces calm? Do you need complete darkness? Whatever works for you, try figuring out a routine that helps you to get optimal sleep each night. Question number five are there ways to deepen your friendships? You might have some girls that you kick it with, grab drinks with, go to church with, but is there a space for these connections to be deepened? Can you all work together to create a space where you can be more vulnerable with one another? Does it feel safe for you to be more transparent with m Can you share how you really think and feel without feeling judged. I want you to try opening up a conversation about this at your next gathering and see where it takes you. Number six, how do you want to grow spiritually? Maybe you've had religious or spiritual practices that you've adopted in the past and they no longer seem to fit, or maybe there's room for you to dive deeper into your current practice. But what do you want your spiritual life to look like? In number seven, how are you giving back? Are you involved in some kind of tutoring program on your campus? Do you volunteer at a local shelter? In what ways are you pouring into someone else? Sometimes when we're feeling overly concerned and really consumed by the things going on in our lives, it can be really helpful to get involved in giving back to others. Question number eight, how will you say no more next year? Y'all know that one of our favorite words around here is boundaries, So how will you be adding any new ones? Are tightening up some old ones? If you're confused about where to start, look around at the interactions in your life that leaves you feeling drained and resentful. It's likely there's some boundary work that needs to be done there. Number nine, Do you have a clear idea of what kinds of things are important to you? And how easy is it to see this in the way that you live? What kinds of issues are really important to you. Are you intentional about crafting your life as much as possible to match these things? Number ten? How are you going to have more fun? You're gonna have more game nights, take a dance class. What is your idea of fun and how can you do it more often? No? For eleven? In which areas of your life do you need to be more present? I know that as busy as many of us are, it can be really easy and tempting to just go from one thing to the next. But where do you need to slow down and make it count a little more? I know for me, I'd like to be more intentional with my little guys. Days often feel like a routine that just plays on repeat, So I want to work on slowing down those moments and really being more intentional. Question number twelve, what are your financial goals? Are you planning to save a certain amount, pay off a credit card, get more educated about finances? There are some incredible resources by black women to help you with this. I want you to check out the Journey to Launch podcast, my fab Finance, the budget Nista, and the Finance Bar are all incredible to get you started on this journey. I'll definitely be sure to link to all those in the show notes. Question number thirteen, are there expectations in any of your relationships that have gone unexpressed? You know how sometimes you have all these ideas about what you would like your relationship with so and so to look like, except that you never tell them that. Let's work on having more conversations about what we expect with the other people in our lives. Question number fourteen, what's working at work? Is it time to chat with your boss about a promotion? Are there additional skills you need to acquire to take things to the next level? Is it time to look for something new? I want you to take an honest assessment of how things are going at work and then plan accordingly. Number fifteen, What books are you planning to read next year? So? I'm guilty. I have a huge habit of starting to read a bunch of books that I never actually finished, and I really want to work on finishing books next year. So what kinds of things have you been wanting to learn more about? Or what kinds of fiction stories leave you feeling thrilled and delighted. I want you to add some of those to your list. Number sixteen have you taken care of your estate planning. Now. I know this can be a hard topic to tackle and it often feels very heavy for me to even think about. But do you have your affairs and order in the event that something happens to you. I want you to find a lawyer who specializes in the state planning and go ahead and get that done in twenty twenty. I'll link you to an excellent podcast episode by my former attorney or Steel that she did all about a state planning that will be in the show notes. Question number seventeen, how do you plan to play bigger and take up more space? Where in your life is there room for you to be more expansive, more expressive? Have you notice that you shriveled a little in one area of your life, perhaps in response to society or someone making you feel like you were too much? It's time to turn it up a notch. You being all of who you are gives others permission to do the same, and the world needs all of who you are. So I want you to come out of that corner you've been hiding in and go after the thing that your heart desires more than anything. Question number eighteen are there any updates or modifications you want to make to your style. Is it time to add a pop of color? Are you thinking about trying a council wardrobe? Now? This is definitely something I'm considering. I mean, even though most days I'm in some version of T shirt, a sweatshirt and some leggings, I'd still like to have a collection of cute and comfy things for when I have to be outside and presentable. Question number nineteen, how can you carve out some time daily for stillness? So you heard Dr Crystal Jones last week discuss the importance of us really centering on focusing on being quiet and still with our thoughts and in our body. We often do so much coming and going, and sometimes this is to avoid being alone with our thoughts. But we know that when we avoid, things tend to become larger than they actually are. So how are you going to create some time in your schedule next year to just be quiet and still? And then question number twenty, what will your word be for? Is there any one thing in particular that you plan to have as your priority next year? Again, if you get really quiet and honest with yourself, is there a theme that comes up for you? Maybe that should be your word. It's really amazing how focusing on a single thing and constant reminding yourself of it can help that thing to grow in your life. My word for next year is a discipline. If you've chosen one, I'd love to hear what yours is as well. Additionally, I'd love to hear if there are other questions you'll be reflecting on as we embark upon. Be sure to share with us on social media using the hashtag tv G and session. And please be sure to share this episode with two of your girls so that they can reflect on the year they'd like to have as well. Remember that if you're searching for a therapist in your area, check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory, and please come on over and join us in the Yellow Couse Collective. Y CEC is our private community for the podcast, where we dive deeper into the topics we start here and just about everything else. You can join us at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash y c C. Thank y'all so much for being a part of the Therapy for Black Girls community this year. I am so thankful for all of your support and can't wait to pick up where we left off in I'm wishing you and your famili's are very happy holiday season and an amazing new year. Take care of yourself. We'll be back on January. A happy do you. Thank for Lancy your Bobby Piker. Bye bye

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The Therapy for Black Girls podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a license 
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