The Therapy for Black Girls Podcast is a weekly conversation with Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a licensed Psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia, about all things mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves.
In this week's episode I'm sharing 10 tips to help you take up more space.
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Hyay, Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small decisions we can make to become the best possible versions of ourselves. I'm your host, Dr joy hard and Bradford, a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or to find a therapist in your area, visit our website at Therapy for Black Girls dot com. While I hope you love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is not meant to be a substitute for relationship with a licensed mental health professional. Hey y'all, thanks so much for joining me for session one forty four of the A Feed for a Black Girl's Podcast. Have you ever heard someone talking about the need to take up more space? Well, that's what I want to chat about today. What makes this so difficult? And some tips for doing a better job at it in your life? Why is it so difficult to take up space? Somewhere along the line, we've gotten the messages that we were too much. I know in my family, when my cousins and I would get excited and start talking louder than usual, we'd often hear little girls should be seen and not heard I'm not so subtle reminder that we were taking up too much space. And it's things like that they give us the message that what we're doing and who we are is too much, and this message is often reinforced throughout our life. You're being too dramatic, your clothes are so loud? Are you always so aggressive? All of these messages can start to seep in if we're not careful, and we become less of ourselves. So I want this to be a reminder that it's okay to lean into the fullness of who you are and take up more space. Here are ten things you might want to try to get started. Number one, correct people when they've offended you. A lot of times we don't let people know that they've heard us in some way because we don't want to hurt their feelings or we don't want to be seen as too difficult. But you deserve to have your feelings taken into consideration too. Number two, Ask for not only what you need, but for what you want your deepest desires. Sometimes we've been conditioned to believe that asking for where we desire is excessive. We should be grateful to just get the bare minimum, But who says that that's how things have to go. You deserve excess. Sometimes you deserve just because you wanted to. There doesn't always need to be a deep seated reason either, just you wanting. Whatever it is, it's totally enough. Number three. Use your voice to speak about the things that are important to you. There is so much going on in our families, in our communities, and in the world. Lend your voice to the conversation. Your perspective is necessary. Number four. Where are the clothes and hairstyles that make you feel your best regardless of what others think. There are so many rules made up by who knows about what kinds of clothes and hairstyles are acceptable in certain spaces. But I challenge you to make your own rules and rock whatever makes you feel most confident. Number five raise your hand in the classroom are in meetings. Sometimes we don't raise our hand to speak because we think our ideas are our questions are silly, or we figure someone else's thinking what we're thinking and they'll say it, Well, why can't it be you? Challenge yourself to speak, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Number six send back your food when it's not prepared as you ordered. I continue to be surprised at how common this is when I'm speaking at different places across the country. But in case you needed a reminder, if you order your stake, medium will and it comes out well done. It's okay to let your server know. You don't have to suffer through a meal because you're worried that your server will be heard about you sending the food back. Go ahead and get what you ordered. Number seven. Apply for that job or opportunity even if you don't feel like you meet all of the qualifications. How many times do we talk ourselves those out of things that could be really cool and great for us because we think we're not qualified. Go ahead and throw your head in the ring for that dream opportunity. You never know what might not happen, but we do know what will happen if you don't even try. Number eight. Work on saying sorry less often. How often do you catch yourself saying sorry even when you haven't done anything wrong? Someone is too close in your personal space and you move and say sorry? Are you bought the wrong size and a sweater? And you find yourself saying sorry to the clerk when you return it Saying sorry when we've done something wrong is totally fine, But the mindless sories that we offer to minimize any perceived impact on others are totally unnecessary, so work on limiting them. Number nine, laugh from your belly, Participate fully when something brings you joy. Those stories your friends tell that make you have to get up from your seat and run around the room, have as many of those moments as you possibly can. And number ten bring other sisters into the room. You can take up more space by bringing others with you. Finding yourself in cool experiences is even cooler when you can create an opportunity for someone else to participate. Bringing others into the fold doesn't shrink the space, it causes the space to expand. So tell me how do you take up space in your life. If there are other things that you practice that might be helpful to other sisters, please share them with us on social media using the hashtag TBG in session, and don't forget to share this episode with two people in your circle so that they can joined the conversation too. If you're searching for a therapist in your area, be sure to check out our therapist directory at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash directory, and if you want to continue digging into this topic and meet some other sisters in your area, come on over and join us in the Yellow Couch Collective where we take a deeper dive into the topics from the podcast and just about everything else. You can join us at Therapy for Black Girls dot com slash y c C. Thank you all so much for joining me again this week. I look forward to continue in this conversation with you all real soon. Take it care