Clean

Justin Willman

Published Jun 23, 2022, 10:00 AM

Ron, a big fan of magic, gets to hear from the famed magician Justin Willman. 

He's a sexy sexy man. What's a sexy sexy plan? Because he ain't no suckers. Look, it's so flight you could try like a trucker, clean like a plank. You the solim younger fool, whell try so we never get a suckup. He bring so much to get up a lot of bandwids. And he's a guy. Ye, he ain't no stand and he doesn't have cheese on a nighttime standwich because everybody knows he's the Burgens. He banded the Ron Burgundy Podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, live from the Largo Theater in Hollywood. Put your hands together, your Ron Burgundy? Who he fcome? Oh my good us, Welcome to lar I'm Ron Burgerndy. This is Carolina, my lovely ghost. And uh, I can't believe we're here. I can't believe they asked us to be here. Yes, this is amazing. I can't believe that there are people in the theater. We really appreciate it. This is so exciting. And we just see your beautiful eyes and that's okay, that's all right, that's all right with me. I prefer the upper part of the head. I just do that's what I've realized in this quarantine lockdown situation. Well, we're past the lockdown right here at Largo. It is. It's wonderful to be here in the heart of Hollywood. And we want to thank Largo because the proceeds from tonight are donated to cancer. It's an amazing charity college scholarships to cancer survivors. So it's all going to a good cause. So thank you. We really appreciate that thanks to Largo, and uh we are It's just so wonderful to be in front of people, and I'm so excited with this connection. I I had the funniest thought, uh because normally we do the podcast in a studio, professional studio, not in the back of a van that's been rumored and written about. Um oh oh hello, so that's better. Anyway, I'm so thrilled to be in front of an audience. I thought we'd have some fun. And I'm just thinking for people who later listen to this on the podcast, wouldn't it be fun if if if they just happened to you know, because sometimes you you start a podcast in the middle or like three minutes in, like I don't want to, I don't want to listen to the front part. I just wanted to three minutes. But I think it'd be so funny if we re do the intro and you guys, instead of applauding, you guys, just boo the crap out of there, okay, And I think our listeners would get such a kick. So if you'll indulge me, I'm gonna go backstage and then and then and then I'm gonna and then you guys just boom let it reck. Okay, Okay, you got it. Okay, ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Rod Burgundy. Great, right, well that was perfect. So our listeners are gonna love this. Stop it. This is what you asked them to do, okay, not made of stone? Are you all right? You just told them you've got to be a funny bit completely back for Oh all right, well I've been reduced the rubble. We just want to thank Margo for letting us. I've seen so many amazing shows that are you okay? All right, let's hear a little bit of love for Ron. Thank you. I didn't need that, but thank you, boy. That was a psychological roller coast you put yourself for lies. It was a joke, but it did not feel like one. The vitriol. I don't ever recommend you doing that at home. If you have the opportunity for applause, take it, okay, run with it. Don't put it to bed, change the stiper, give it a bottle, put it to bed, don't don't, don't shake the baby, don't chick the baby at all. We're back. Bag Largo is amazing. It is a Hollywood institution, isn't it. Oh my god, I've seen I've seen a lot of shows here. Oh, I've seen so many shows comedy. I've seen guitar Phoebe Bridgers. Right. One of the greatest shows I saw here was called Triple j and it was Jethro Toll Jefferson Airplane and the Jackson three, the Jackson five, Jackson or the Jackson three. Who's in the Jackson three. Well, there's hot little jazz trio Michael Jermaine okay, Tito okay, and Michael is this He just blew that trumpet like nobody's business. It's just a great They did this thing like I'm called a moonwalk. Okay. Yeah, not to be confused with the Jackson five, the Jackson three but you can see where the confusion comes. Yeah, not really. The other thing. I've seen some wonderful theater in this place. Oh my gosh, amazing, so many great shows. Nonsense is that what it sounds like. It's it's a group of nuns up to no good nonsense and it's a it's a play on words, no nonsense like hij hijinks, full hijinks. And no one loves watching nuns have fun more than me. Right, there was another another show that completely changed my life. I Love you, You're perfect now change? Did you? People see it? Here? Ran for ten years and there were barely thirty people in the audience, but boy, it was it was. It was life changing. And there's been like some kind of cool avant garde like experimental stuff here. Yes, this very yeah, very unknown, very alternative. Uh. This group and I don't know if you've ever heard of him, A lot of people haven't, called the Blue Man Group. And I saw them here and I was like, that ain't gonna work. The concept was just gonna work. They paint themselves blue and they're banging on drums and pots and pans, and a feral cat runs through the theater and there's no dialogue. And within the first five minutes I just I said out loud, Nope, not buying it, and the guy went, he heard you, and then they brought me up on stage. I was hooked. I'm what's called a Blueberry blue Man group fan, super fan. Blueberry were the Blueberries. So there's a lot of you. There's a lot of yeah, nationwide. Sure, the small chapters like small chapters. Whether there I belong to the San Dimon's chapter. Uh, And we'll go out there and make a day of it. Go to Magic Mountain Face paint our faces blue right on roller coasters. That means should we get lunch? Okay. The other thing I love about Largo in this neighborhood so much history is the pretty famous little gentleman's club across the way. Oh right, what's it? What's it called? Against Sin? S y n N Sin. That's amazing. It's a gentleman's club. But you've been there? Oh sure, okay, I rolled a lot of calls there. We've got a great prime rib buffet. Do you should come with me just for lunch? Just for lunch? Will go for lunch? What time do you go? I go? I usually get there, and what's their COVID policy. COVID policy. Yeah, um, they asked you to bring an oven thermometer like for turkeys. For turkeys. Yes, and uh, but what's great is right next door is a COVID test place, so you can get a rapid PCR. What I do is I put my order in for prime rib. I go get a rapid PCR. Yeah, I wait fifteen minutes back at sine PM show, twelve PM show. Hi, girls, but that place is fantasy. No, it's a nice it's a win wins. In fact, since we're all together, wouldn't it be fun. Let's all let's all get up out of our church. Let's go to Sin on me. Yeah, let's go. No, no, no, no, we we actually we have an obligation to stay. We can't just everyone's mask. It's a good thing. In fact, you guys were working on a phrase for the show. We're spending hours hours working on a catchphrase. Maybe if I hold this up, we can all stay together. No, okay, this time just throwing anyone, let's go to sin this time kind of like whatever, No way, no, okay, throw it away a little more. Yeah, okay, no way, we're getting somewhere, but we're not there yet. But I think we all know that and that's okay, but you know, let's just stay gaged. I love It's really fun though, the no way side, because you don't know. I mean that could be Carolina might present that at any point, and you guys just be ready to jump in and it's It may not be fun for you, but it's gonna sound great. Someone's on their games. So it's your favorite season, it's our favorite season. Awards season. Is everyone excited? Yes, now you have to stop. You're obsessed with me. I get so giddy around Awards season. You celebrate early too. I celebrate right after Halloween. I start handicapping my movies. I have screening parties. Who's gonna wear? What? Get together? The Blueberries all get together. Pretend we're wearing Baylon Siaga. I don't know what is that? It fair a gamo? What do you I'm wearing Jay Z Penney, I actually am. I'm not joking. It says it on the back of my jacket. It says town Craft from J. C. Penny. Okay, come on, you guys, that is gold. Did you see anything you liked? Oh? So, what what about you what do you what do you think of of the movies out there? Okay? Uh? We saw Dune West Side Story. Oh yes. The cinematography, yeah, the singing, the dancing, very similar to the first time they made it. Yeah, but that's what I loved about. Its classic classic, How could you go wrong? I was like, this is exactly like the original, but I love it. Um, drive my car. Foreign film that got the best picture in subtitles. Yeah, I don't do that, Um Dune. Dune is sci fi sort of. I didn't see it, but you know what I thought about. They must have had sand in every crevice of their body, shooting them in their shoes, in ears, their nostrils, where else they're butt cracks. I had to go there. Timothy shallow Ban Shalomana ding doom yap hot, young Timothy Shellomando burning up the screen and burning up the screen. That there's Licorice, pizza Pta, Paul Thomas Anderson, he's from the Valley. Sure is okay? Oh? You know what I loved Powder of the Dog. Um. Oh, you're thinking of Power of the Dog, the Gene Campion movie. Yes, is it power? Yeah? Oh? I kept thinking it was a euphemism for cocaine. I thought it was like an old Western version of the cocaine trade. Yeah, powder of the dog, because dog sniff they should do if there was any creature that was going to ingest the mountain of cocaine, and probably a dog, right. I wonder how many of those drug dogs, drug sniffing dogs they just gotta put out to pastor because they're get snorted too much booger sugar, you know. But there were there were a lot of snubs this year. There were some snubs, like Lady Gaga didn't get a nomination. Did you see anything that you were like, come on, you know, there's always a lot of great movies. But I'm telling you the movie that keeps sticking in my mind and I can't get out of my crops is leprechn Did that come out this year? No? No, that came out starring up Punky Perky Jennifer Aniston, and she's got this leprechn chasing her around for his bag of a hundred gold pieces which give him special evil Leprech whoa scar. I dare anyone to hang out in a room alone with the lights off for more than five minutes with leprechn There's no way you'll be bolting out of there quicker than you can say powder of the Dog. It is. It is a I mean best picture, best actor, best visual effects, wardrobe, costume, best locations. It's just a powerhouse. And you I'm by the end of it. I'm like, how was this not being recognized? It came out so long ago, But there's still a chance. I mean, maybe they give it an Irving Thauberg Award or something like that, aposthumous apostosus Irving, but does what does posthumus means after they passed after? So maybe not for that? Did you see anything else that deserved recognition that I thought? We're very much snub little movie called Johnny Tsunami, right, what is this? It's about a young Hawaiian surfer, Johnny. He gets a rude awakening when his dad relocates to Vermont, a state seriously lacking in waves. And his name is Johnny Tsunami. Yeah. There, he struggles to fit in at a private school or guess what everyone skis So it is a classic fish out of water. All he knows how to do is surf. He just knows the water. But what if that skill applies itself to skiing, that he incorporates his surfings. That's what happens. Yes, but what if the skiers don't accept him, Well, they don't at first. What if he gets involved with a girl, yes, whose family is really into ski Did you write this movie and we're getting involved with Johnny Tsunami? Yes, okay, that sounds kind of good. And he then wins them all over and he's more popular than he's ever been. And yes, you are cheering for Johnny Tsunami. Another snub, A big time snub. Okay. The other one on my list is a movie called smart House. Listen to this one. A boy tries to stop his father from dating by programming their computerized house to be a surrogate mother stark, but you loved it, loved it. The boy, feeling alienated, doesn't want to have a new mommy and turns the house. Yes, hello, refrigerator, can you sing me a good night song? You know? And it is, Uh, it's really fun. It's really fun. A lot of use, a lot of technology and a lot of a lot of fun computer. Yeah, because I love I love the bleak bloops and the blood bloods. The other one that is probably the biggest snob of the season is a movie called Life Size. You're familiar with it. A widower's daughter uses magic in an attempt to resurrect her dead mother again I'm missing mother, but inadvertently brings a doll to life, changing the young girl's world forever. I think Tyra Banks is in that she is with Lindsay Lohan, classic and this doll comes to life and the girl is like, I totally forget that my mom is dead. This worked mom's mom? What mom? You know? This is a big Barbie's big there's a big old Barbie. And Tira Banks. I mean, I've always loved Tyra Banks, and I've been on the record saying that um and I won't back down ever from that statement. I don't think she was canceled. I'm just saying Tyra is my gal, and I've loved all of her work, every single thing she's done. I love it when she wakes up in the morning puts her shoes on. I've never witnessed that, just like everything everything she does is perfect. Everything TB bangs Okay, So I'm just anyway, there's you can't fit them all. We miss a lot of good ones. This year we miss a lot of good ones. So what are you gonna do? Should we get to tonight's guests. Let's get let's bring out our our guests for tonight. Would you guys, now, how many of you guys enjoy magic? I love magic? In fact, I used to have a suite of apartments at the Magic Castle, uh from the spring of night and seventy six to the Fall of n When they said what are you doing living here? And I said, what do you mean? These are my apartments? Are like, this is the attic and we don't allow people to live here. How long have you been here? I've been here for the last year, and they're like, get out, get out now. I don't hold a grudge. It was a while ago. Every now and then I'll drive by the Magic Castle and flip them the old uncle's uncle Charlie. Maybe collect some cat feces and through it by the front door. Light it on fire so they have to stomp it out. That's all. That's a long operation. Cat poop all over there, their feet and their mad and I am laughing all the way to pans for a chicken stick sandwich. Have you tried the chicken sticks sandwich pans. I haven't there was one clap. Whoever clapped they know the secret of the fried chicken stacks sandwich and pans. You can't eat but just one. Once you bite into the first one, you're going to order the second, and you're gonna be stuck on the toilet for a while. I'm just it's just a medical fact. It's just a medical fests. Not me trying to be gross funny, but you're gonna have bowel issues for a while to to chicken sandwiches, passing a ball of rubber cement science that the doctor said, medicine. Not trying to be fine. I'm a journalist, I'm not a comedian. A ball of Robert cement. We've got smells like chicken fried stuff. We've got it. That's all you're gonna say, walking away, walk away. Well, let's get to our guests, right, Yes, please, ladies and gentlemen, we have a wonderful guest for you tonight. Um. He's a fantastic, fantastic magician. Some of you may actually know him, a gentleman by the name of Justin Willman. Please welcome. It's a just woman, Justin thank you so making day. Please thank you? Justin Willman ever Hello? Can you believe we caught him? No way we did. I'm happy to be here. I was just having dinner across the street over at sin that's it. Did you say hi to Gabriella? She sentenced regards great, she's lovely. I hope her hip surgery went start breaking. Last time I checked, it was a large open wound. She would have money because they don't have any health insurance over at sin Um. Maybe that should be tonight's charity. You're going to raise some money. Let's see if you can switch it. Let's call Cancer for College and say sorry, gang money is going to sin So Justin, tell me a little bit about yourself. Where are you from? Original? I'm so glad to be here. By the way, magicians don't normally get, you know, a lot of respect the industry. Magicians are the chiropractors of the entertainment industry. You know, like half the people get something out of it, but the other half they could see what means you're always sneaking up on people asking them to relax, and then you I'm from St. Louis, Missouri. St. Louis, Missouri, and did you always were you always enthralled with magic? I I think that's a valid question. Am I Have I gone astray? How dare you? That was getting murky? Maybe we need to get a one to three. I broke my arms when I was twelve years old and on purpose. Yes, I was roller rollerblading while riding a bike. No way. Yeah, and my doctor recommended card tricks and physical therapy when I got the cast off. And that's how I got into magic, and I was I was enthralled. Yes, yeah, excuse me. It can't just happen all the time. This is got to have some sort of control. Um, we don't have anything. You've created a monster. Gotta be fun. I would be catchy. So you're twelve years old and you're you discovered this thing that you you you had an acuity for I had, Yes, it was the only thing. I was the only thing I was decent at, better than mediocrat. And I started doing kid's birthday parties. I had a moniker. I went by just Incredible. That was my stage name. Okay, okay, get it all right, good Justin and just Yeah. I did kid's birthday party, sing it like that. I wouldn't sing it I should have. Yeah. Um, and so you started doing kids birthday parties and that you obviously have developed into a yeah, assume you make money doing this? Yeah, okay, okay, he has like a show on Netflix. Oh you have a show justin I have a show. It's called Magic for Humans. We've done three seasons on Netflix. So h you thought he was just like I thought, he was just some guy off this like a lawyer. Who um, whoa, you're on Netflix? That's yeah, don't be nervous. Nervous, I know, but you're shaking. You can just ask your next question. Are magicians born? You got this? You Asian is born that way? Or does society have an effect? Did I come out to my parents as a magician. I didn't have to do that. Just Merlin of Old was born a wizard. He was You're not a wizard, are you? I'm not a wizard. So for me, magic wasn't. It was a choice because the wizard would already have that. The powers. Wizards don't have to do kid's birthday parties. I am dying up here. Can I show you a trick? We would love to see you love to see a trick? Yes, please, all right, I'm gonna do I'm gonna show you my first trick. Since we're talking about when I was twelve and when I when I decided I want to be a magician. You have to, you know, you need to find a mentor, a sage elder Sonny Doug Henning would have been great. He was, do you remember the dug in his magic wag makes dodge caravan the magic wag. Oh, yes, he used to do dodge caravan commercials. I didn't know that. He would say, it's a magic wag and he told his smile a little too long anyway, Doug Heading was, I mean he I didn't have access to Dug Heading. I had an eighty year old mentor when I was twelve. His name was doctor Magic, not a real doctor, and he said the best magic you can do are tricks that use things that people have in their pockets, ordinary objects. He said. The one thing everybody will always have is one of these is a pocket. Heck, if you like running too, David Blaine somewhere, do you guys like have a showdown? Is it awkward? Are you like, hey Blaine? Yeah, what's going on? We we Yeah, there's the threat of a duel in the world, Copperfield, not like you're not gonna go near him, not gonna go near him. Okay, yeah, Lane, I could take okay, yeah, sorry, continued Copperfield. Write that down hankies because you just stay away from it. Do you carry a pocket handkerchief? Run? I usually do. I didn't tonight. Okay, does anybody here, Carrie, I have a collection of anybody under thirty needs to know. Like back in the day, if you were classy, you had you definitely did at all times to blow your nose in, right, you know, to phil with snock, fold up and then put it put in your pocket till later and do it again and again. Maybe your buddy needed a sneeze and you were like you vound it was. Perhaps you ran into a lady who was crying and you'd offer it up to her to wipe a face until the magician needed it and for a trick, and you'd hand me this petri dish. Those are the good old day. So this is a trick. This is the the hanky and microphone stand trick. Okay, all right, okay, you're ready one too. It happens fast, and I'm sure the audio audio listeners are really loving. Let me describe to read. Yeah, for our listeners, justin just called a hanky through a microphone? Sold. Can I examine that microphone for a second. Bron's checking it out? Okay, it's good. It checks out, checks out. Check regulation Guitar center for listeners at home. It's a solid regulation microphones. Do you like to know? Do you need to know how the tricks work? Carolina? No? You know some people some people think they need to know. Do you ever? Just you don't want to know. You don't want to magic magic like hot dogs? Oh yeah, go on, you don't want to know how it's done. The more you know, the harder it is to swallow. Dross me. Okay, you know what I'm I'm I'm an exception. You could tell me every list of every horrible animal part that goes into a hot dog. I'm still eating five of them at the ballpark. I don't care well in the chicken fried steak pan. Would you show me a train? Um? Okay, look look me right in the eyes and uh we just hold your hands and I'm thinking of a number from one to twenty. Okay, what do you think it is? One? Gets? Is it any number one, mm hmm. And what what month were you born? July? July? Yeah, and what's your favorite flower? Um? I love peonies. Are you missing your watch? Oh? Thank you, thank you, Justin Willman, ladies and gentlemen, thank you, thank you, thank jam thank you, guys, thank you, Carolina, thank you, tine A. Thank That was amazing. And you're like the biggest Magic fan. I know you were going all Google Gaga for him. I liked that last trick, didn't you. I could tell it was pretty impressive. Yeah, like I said, getting like jealousy, you've got a real problem on her hand. A sorcerer with a Netflix show run around the streets of l A. Yeah, that's a problem, and no one's talking about it. Like I'm the only one who's paying attention to things, and so I think we maybe running running to the end of our show unfortunately. But I'd like to finish the night with a little segment I like to call my take. Mm hmm. For anyone who's been following the recent events with the Russians, one term comes to mind, not cool. I have always gone out on a limb and said that I don't give a rap what your beef is. But war is never the answer. I'll say it again and again and again. Not cool. Korean War not cool, Vietnam War not cool. M Invasion of Granada pretty cool those guys were asking for. But now Russia is up to no good and Putin has gone loco in the cabaza and doesn't really matter what country he's invaded. No one knows the name or where it's really located. The thing that is so maddening is that Baltimore Putin is trying to trying to reclaim absolute sovereignty over all of cocaine. He claims that cocaine has always been part of Russia and that cocaine is committing genocide and is run by neo Nazis? Is it Can anyone truly run cocaine? He claims that all Russians have historic and religious rights to cocaine. Do they more than anyone else? And if so, is that a good thing? Is that really something you want to brag about? Also, if you truly want to take absolute and total control over cocaine, why not attack somewhere where it's absolutely vital to the economy, like say South America or better yet, what about Beverly Hills. Half the houses up there were built on cocaine. I know, I'm a newsman. I follow my nose, and my nose can find cocaine anywhere. If you want top grade, pure cocaine, none of this fentin old stuff. You gotta go to Beverly Hills or Malibu. In there was more cocaine and Malibu than the sand and the Sahara seven quadrillion. You're not anyway, I digressed. Instead of say Colombia or Malibu or Linda Ronstat's house in you choose a nondescript little country in central Europe that no one has ever heard of. You listen to me, Mr Baltimore putin. I'm sure if you guys just laid down your weapons and went back home nicely, all the countries in the world would be happy to send you all the powder of the dog you and your people could handle. You'd be up for six months straight. You would truly be the leader of cocaine. I'm so sorry. It's it's Ukraine. You're thinking about. What what's Ukraine? Ukraine's the country. It's not cocaine. Oh it's not cocaine. Oh it's Ukraine. Oh anyway, that's my take. I'm on Burgundy. Thank you everyone, thanks for coming up, break care you, good night every one. It's year around the man. Sexy Sexy, Sexy sais because he's so flight you could drive like a truck, clean like a plank, you can solive younger, fool wheel try so. We never get the gud Brek so far ticking up a lot of bandwids. And he's a guy. Yeah, he ain't no stand and he doesn't have cheese on a nighttime sandwich because everybody knows he's the Burgensy banded The Ron Burgundy Podcast

The Ron Burgundy Podcast

Will Ferrell reprises his role as Ron Burgundy in the world-famous Ron Burgundy Podcast! Each episod 
Social links
Follow podcast
Recent clips
Browse 66 clip(s)