Ron listens to an Opera Singer, to see what all the hype's about.
He's a sexy sexy man, sexy sexy fan because he ain't no suckers, looking so funny. You try like a trucker, clean like a plank, you solive, younger, fool, We'll try. So he's never getting to pray so far, chicking up a lot of bandwids. And he's a god y. He ain't no stand and he doesn't have cheese on a nighttime stand, which because everybody knows he's the Burge de Bandit. The Ron Burgundy Podcast, Ladies and Gentlemen, Live from the Largo Theater in Hollywood, California. Put your hats out from Mr Ron Barge. Hello, Hello, oh my god, Hello Hello hard Yeah us, I hope that's not a gang sign. Oh my gosh. She just made a heart. Yeah, double hearts you Okay, don't don't, don't do this. We just started the show. It's so much to me. Thank you. These two young women love me. But I hope you people feel the same. Well, thank you for coming out Tuesday night in Los Angeles. We really appreciated this show. Actually, we're raising money for charity. It's called Kids Save. It's helping families in the Ukraine right now. So thank you so much for coming out tonight and buying tickets, And that's why your tickets were hundred dollars tonight. No, they only paid like, well, they're going to be paying before the night over. Don't you think I'm being funny? No, well we'll line everyone up and we'll shake you out. No, we won't take that, that would be crazy. How much would you I would settle for a dy ahead everyone? Probably? How much cash would you say you carry with you nowadays? I don't think anyone really care. How do you? How are you a duffel bag? For what purpose? I carry a man first? Immerse? Uh? Well, I still use travelers checks. Oh, I have fifties, twenties, one, fifties two to fifties fives and a thousand. I have a rare five thousand dollar travelers check that's worth five thousand dollars. It's actually lost money. How long does that take when we're just trying to do a simple really interesting, because I'll be like, you, of course take travelers checks, and I've already filled it out and signed it in. The server will be like, no, we don't. Uh do you have a chip on your card? And I'm like what what does that mean? Customer service? So then I have to run to the ATOM and uh put my bank card in the atom and punch in my code six four. But we don't. Don't just keep that to yourself. I said it so fast. Oh like someone's gonna slow down the table at home. Crap, that was my fake ATOM number. Uh, and I usually pull out It's pronounced a t M, but it doesn't matter. A t M standing for m automatic to your president. Yeah, you're the big shot. You're probably carrying from the automatic teller machine. Does every bank have one a T machine? Yes? Yes, So if I walk in and say where is your automated teller machine? You don't want to be that person. You just want to say, not that you're that person. You just want to say, be casual about it. Hey, I need an a t M. Hey where's your automatic? That's already that that WoT No, No, you will honestly look like you're about to rob a bank. Hey i'm super cash. No, I use this wheelchair because I'm tired. I don't have an affliction. He's going to rob the bank. Okay, So just say a t M. Do you have an a T M? Yeah? And then they'll point me in the right direction. Exactly is my microphone on? Okay? Yeah? Oh wow, you have the lovely singing voice, which is foreshadowing for our guest. But you don't know now, don't you wish I would tell you right now? But it's my secret. Feels so good to have a secret over all of you. Run. Oh I don't. I'm sorry. I just haven't been around people. I haven't been around talking to myself a mirror because I gave myself lockdown plus twenty four months just to be extra safe. So you're like almost done. I'm almost done with my personal lockdown. And my apartment is filthy. It's just pizza boxes and pizza boxes, boxes, frozen burritos, hot pockets. Has it been eating anything else? Any water, vegetables? Just quick alcohol? Fi? Does it have alcohol? Yeah? This should be fun to good to know. A little minty goodnight, yeah, winter green? How much it burns? Yeah, a little bit, stuna gig. I'm so excited that I hope. Does it feel comfortable to be together? I mean, you're I appreciate that you're you're all wearing masks and you showed you your vaccine card. By the way, I've got seven I've been vaccinated seven times, Madernay, I have that provisor. Yeah, J and Jay, I don't know if you're spot Nick from Russia. That wasn't it. I got the Chinese one, Israeli one, the Turkish one, and then there's something I called a homebrew. I'm sorry, what's in? What's in the homebrew? Homebrew? Mouth flash o reganar? Why heavy? And you just take it like a shot Grabizzi pizza. Trust, It's more like a pace. You are so grateful that you are emotional getting this vaccine's getting so emotional. We have access. The only problem with my Homebrew. The only thing, the only thing is the only way that it's truly effective is to inject it in your ya. That's the thing with these things, at least that's what my doctor says. Who do you see Dr Jacob mrnni who he's also an attorney, but he gets in and out of there. I love it and it helps me with you know, anyone I want to sue seats out there, I got a lot of I'm like Junior Donald Trump out there. I'm just suing everyone, like I sued the dinner for not taking my travelers checks and you're still in litigation. We're still in litigation, looking like we're going to settle. Have you ever taken any lawsuit out on me? No, you've never sued me. I don't think okay, I'm not gonna worry about it. Yeah, don't worry about it. I sued you once and then I said, let's call it off. Oh my god, that it like we gotta file a SUP. This is a breach of protocol. He's fourteen minutes late. Um, I'm getting off track here, really getting off track. I'm just excited to be Yes, you've never really even asked me though today? How I'm doing? How are you doing? Carolina? You can how are you doing? Okay? Less impatient? How are you doing? Um, it's actually been kind of a hard week. I am, Oh, I'm sorry, No, it's okay. Guy problems and then, um, you know that I had those problems with my kidneys forever ago, which we're kind of serious and diageo. I'm so sorry. Yes, your kidneys. You had the issue go ahead, so I had this serious problems. I was actually get theaters for these My kidneys were just running out of that's awful. What is it. I don't know what this is. Oh, it's a wonderful liquor company. They make wonderful spirits Johnny Walker. Uh what else do they make? You have a whole thing for diagio? I do hold? Please? Do you even want to hear the end of my kidney? Well, let me just get there. Oh yeah, they make Johnny Walker, Tanker A Bailey's other delicious libations. But continue your story. I'm sorry. I don't know why you didn't had a late ideal with them. I have to say their name seventy five times tonight. So wait, was that the that's the liquor company that deal fell through last night? Yeah? Yeah, it's done. It's done. Well, I do I'd love that how it rolls off the tongue. All right, Well, you don't want to hear you know, I'm not gonna even don't. I'm fine. You know it might help your kidney though, I wasn't gonna say it. I was gonna say a nice sip of Johnny Walker paid bye. The money is not going to come through. Okay, fine. We we are working on sort of a catchphrase, something that we can say for the podcast, and so would you help me say it all together. Just run. That's enough. Let's yeah, let's try to coordinate one to three. Let's enough. Okay, maybe throw it away more. Lets you know, you know, I feel like half of you were with me and half of you don't like me. Okay, maybe we can do it in a Brooklyn accent. Oh yeah, run Oh I like that. We have some Thespians in the crowd. That's gonna play great in the Northeast corridor. Um, we should get to some headlines. Actually we should. Let's cover some of the headlines. What's happening in the world. Um. I've opened up ron to u du mois. It's an Instagram account that gives you news really quickly. I love it. Ron's a big fan. There's a lot of good stuff on here and you're not going to hear it from any mainstream new from So recently, there's been some hot tips. UM spotted Natalie Portman and Los feels So Sweet. Server accidentally knocked over her glass of wine all over the table and what happened. Natalie made a very sweet joke about it. That's very classy of Natalie. It doesn't surprise me. You know, she went to Harvard with Mark Zuckerberg. Oh you mean Mark Zuckerberg. No, I mean Mark Zuckerberg. He was Zuckerberg in Harvard and then when he became a big show, I became Zuckerberg. I know what I did the research. I'm not gonna I'm not gonna argue with you. I wouldn't. We have another tip Um stood behind Julia Fox in line at Arawan Studio City. Who's Julia Fox? Um? It's a long story. Do you know she dated Kanye for a second and she's been in a few movies. She's very attractive, like on a Vivicate A Fox level. I wouldn't, I don't know, very hot. Yeah, because she's the top of my list. I know, I know Vivica A Fox. Vivica a Fox is what? Okay, seven days a week? What's wrong with you? I watched a lot of Vivica A Fox stuff in quarantine. I'm not gonna lie to you. All right, you guys, come on run. We gotta you like Vivica Fox. That was beautiful, by the way. Another headline, Yes, Selina Gomez at chipp Riani downtown with a big group celebrating someone's birthday. What happened? She was looking stunning as always. By the way, Selena, what come happen? Are those choppers? Selina? Is that? Is Selina? Selena Gossure? Is that my Mike is that? Every time I move it's hard to say. Okay, slowly, slow, slowly. I feel like we're diffusing a bomb. It's me you and Selena Gomez and vivocated a fox, spotted spotted. Jacob, Wait, can I just say one thing? If you go to Gippriani's, get the clams casino. Continue, Continue, Jacob, don't even mess around, Just walk in and say clams Casino, Jacob, lord clans Casino Carolina. Just so you know. I don't know if you've ever had them before, but they're delightfully broiled clams. With who this is? This is going to happen. Okay, but we just want to say, don't blow a lit off the top. Okay, we don't want the chopper to come back. Each clam has a poker chip in him. Clams Casino. Okay, all together now, I thought so too. I deserved that one. Jacob all Lordia Jones last night with some friends. Jacoba that at the more secluded part of the restaurant and seemed to be having a good time. Went to the bathroom, and as I came out, he was leaving it as well. Overheard him saying something along the lines of have a great night, cheers boys. L O L it is O L. I could not believe how tall he is and how good he smelled when he would walk past us. He seems so sweet and friendly A non please, Wow, I wish Jacob was here tonight. Well he's not. Yeah, but really the big news is um hell o, L are you? No? That's how I drift off when I go to sleep at night. I just go hello, L, Hello, hello L. We do have to talk about something that we haven't really discussed, though. Oh, I know what you're gonna talk about. You're thinking the same thing, Kim. How does everyone feel about pet and Kim? No one's into Pete and Kim. They have so little in this life. If so, what's the latest? The last I heard was that Kanye who's now referred to as Ye or is it? Yeah? Yeah, okay, thank you, thank you that you wanted to chop his head off. Yeah, something like that, something like that which I can identify with. I mean, how many Spern lovers I've driven by their boyfriend's house and like, I'm gonna chop your head out if I see you around Nancy. Of course I never did it, and if I did, Jacob would be on my side to get me out of jail. Jacob Jacob MRONI but in the TV movie of Jacob m ronni job. Yes, I let's get writers here. We're submitting are I don't know, I don't know the terms. Kimberly obviously is a person of celebrity. Kimberly, Yes, the Kardashians. It's what a powerful and famous family. The luxury. I mean, I've been at the Kardashian's house and that is a party. To sneak into one of their big fancy parties. Do you sneak into one of the big fancy parties? Well, I have to ye. I'm not on the guest list. No. I usually pose as a caterer or plain, close security person or groundskeeper. And I poked my head in, oh whoa right, and I get back to raking Leaves. I usually blow my cover because I'm like, oh, I can how are you? I'm Ron very an, I think you're great. That'll do it, But they are what's going to happen. Do you think do you think their love will last? Do we know? No? Probably not? Yes, Okay, he believes in love. And there's one of them here, one romantic man in the audience. There's one out of two hundreds. But that's the way, you know, loves loves a fickle, fickle beast. I've been I love so many times. Yeah, you told me you've been playing guitar for I have. I've been playing a little flamenco guitar. That seems pretty romantic. Would you like to hear something? What now? This is a of course, I only play on a Strattenburger. Uh. It's a German guitar um Strattenberger L ten eleven um, handcrafted in Austria and then uh shipped to Czechoslovakia. These all these uh, these strings are whalebone, so you know they're gonna sound good. This is flaming. This will be a little flamenco number. This is called do you know what you want to do it? Oh? H Playing an out of tune instrument is a sin so M, so you need to make sure your instrument is probably too. I think you got it. M. One of the beauties of flamenco guar is that it's Uh, it's a it's a device that's used to pert love making. And once you hear the flamenco, it's less than thirty seconds before before you someone's laying on top of you. Are you still tuning? Well, it's a sickle gentle lover. Here, you're rush. This guitar was given to me my uncle Bruce. Um. Well, wait till I play. That's yet to be determined. All right. This is called Sunset Beach. One of the beautiful things about this instrument is that it you start to feel it, and it starts to feel you, and there's a real relationship here. I know how to play guitar. You weren't bluffing well, I think a lot of us were catching on. But if we had a trumpet here or a flute lookout? Yeah, agreed, agreed. Speaking of music, if you like music, why don't we bring out our guest? Yes, please, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Aletta Braxton. Thank you so much. Thank you for having a seat right over here. Alita, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. Uh you look lovely tonight. Thank you really do, Alita. Now I understand you you are an opera singer sort of? Yes, okay, well that's wonderful. Um, I've never seen opera in my life, and I'm sure none of these people have either. What exactly is opera? Opera is? Um? Some speech, some speech sung? All the lines are sung? Right, everything is sung every down. There's a little speaking okay, I'm sorry, word okay, yes, but most the lines were sung. I once had a case of sprech tma when I was backpacking through Europe. No, I just got some penicillain and it was all good. And so you you sing opera? And uh where where she's a opera? Los Angeles has an opera company. Oh so you're with the l A Opera, l A Opera. Yes, I'm one of the original chorus. There's oh my goodness, for for how long? When did you? When did you start? A long time ago? But I'm up to a hundred and sixty productions. Oh my gosh. We think I'm the first black woman of any opera company to reach a hundred and sixty productions. And do you use a lot of flamenco guitar and your opera productions? Every now and then we do a lla opera, good to know opera in Spain, Spanish, Gypsy Spanish, um oh, Gypsy Spanish. Of course, I usually stay away from Gypsy Spanish. Regular Spanish. Okay, Gypsy Spanish yikes. So opera, yes, trying to wrap my head around this ethereal art form. I feel like a lot of people know about it and go to it. Okay, How is it different from say, The Days of Our Life, which is a popular soap opera. They probably wouldn't sing it, and they probably wouldn't be dressed in all the fancy costumes we get to wear. But they do wear costumes in a soap opera. I think ours are more beautiful. How did the term soap up? I mean they don't ever sing on a soap proper. I don't know. They don't think about soap either. They don't know. Maybe they did, maybe at one point. Maybe they're forced to bathe incessantly. One would only hope. Here's a question. I'm I assume you can't make money in the business, So what what do you do for a living? Doing my grown up job? Well, I also teach music, and a lot of us what we call gigging around town. Opera singers gig around town. We've teached. Sometimes we have church choirs, singing jobs or conducting jobs. Or there's also the Los Angeles Master Corral, So we have lots of gigs there. Some of us sing on film and TV soundtracks. There's so there's some wonderful opportunities out there. There can be. Oh so there's not that many. I showed up once for a Master Corral and I'm not going to tell you what happened. It was not what I thought. Um, it really wasn't. Sorry, No, please don't be sorry about anything. So would you, I mean, could you please sing a little opera for est right now? A little bit? Okay? Mos horrible? Can you top reef wazy is? If you don't, then call up Helena Sui. Commander refuses if mona super pulabyan lodres because she prefer you not Auntie Amazing. You might play long low more long mo lo more lamuripo fund the bow and you najam you don't make a due setunum mam pashum see you to secunium man secunimate mestesia tem sesia tim Pretty good? Was that? Okay? That was pretty incredible? Why didn't have the car that? You can't know how anyone makes money doing that? Come on, whats amazing things I've heard in this theater. It is pretty amazing. It is pretty amazing. I I I understand there's a lot of I mean, you were singing in Italian, French, French, as long as not Gypsy Spanish. That's well. Carmen takes place in Spain, but they think it in French. I don't know why. So Carolina is always talking about foreign language movies, which I asked him, drive my car? Makes her sound pretty snooty. Do you think opera is for snooty people? Know? It's for the general public. It's very accessible and what it obviously was back in its day when it was created was for the general public absolutely, kind of like the eighties banned general public absolutely, of course, did they ever have opera? Okay, this is a tough one, but I gotta ask it. I'm not I'm not a good journalist if I don't. Do you think opera lovers are dangerous people? Wait? Ll, I haven't experienced it yet, OK, Because I just wonder could be scary, but probably not dangerous. The Marx Brothers made a Night at the Opera? Was that the last opera ever made? Fortunately? No, they're more. Oh several yes, name them oh Phantom, Phantom. Yes, technically I would say it's borderline musical theater opera because it's almost all sung, but mostly on the Broadway stage. I Portian best best Okay, uh Candy, Oh yeah, Ken, I was gonna say candid Um, Jesus Christ superstar. No said rock opera? Okay? What was that? Later? Mouse later, Mouse the bat Thank you because syntight. I think I'd like to try a little opera. Would you tell me what you think? I'll be honest. I'll be honest. Over callo. No, I'm in trouble finding my note. I can't see you. I'm a far I'm sat of our castle. Look at that. I'm a captain, a man rush back. I love you, Hey, I love you. M Now I can take criticism. Carolina knows this. I've got a thick skin. Please be brutally on. You've got potential me and work on the technique a little bit. Maybe maybe you're breathing, but that's it, and let's work on the rapid twie. Well, oh hey, I thought that she was being so nice. It's the first time I've ever tried it, I said, before time got out. I made up a whole created a picture. No, he's standing on top of my castle trying to talk to the lady. Operas take decades to write. I wrote one right here on the spot. Do opera decades? You're right? I mean, are there any opera singers in the house tonight? Find any chance anyone? No? No, I didn't think so. I didn't know. If you want to try an opera battle with Ala here, she'll shut you down. All right, Well, look how about we sing one together? Okay, what would you like to I'd like to sing the opera? Take me out to the ball game. Take me out to the ball game, Take me out to the crowd. Peanuts and crock put tuck. I don't care. I never get back for his root root root, for the whole team if they don't win it for the shame for it's one two restruction out out the old I was gonna throw this Scotch glass on the ground to make it look like I broke it with my voice, but everyone would have seen it was fun. That was beautiful. I mean, the Dodgers go win again with that so too, if they can get by the San Diego padres. Of course, Santiago discovered by the Germans. They named it Sandiago, which means oh, whales, vagina, thank you, Okay, you've you've I'm sorry if I've come off mean and dismissive. I wondered, let's let's have a little bit of fun with you. Would you mind just singing some some statements for us? It just might be fun to hear some things, some things sung in your operatic voice? For instance, can you just sing? Where are my keys? Where are my key? Can you sing? I farted uttered, I lost my ham sandwich, I lost my sandwich. I'm breaking up with you. I'm breaking up with you. May the Force be with you, May of course be with you. Steph Curry for three, staff Purtty for three. Stay away from my donkey, Stay away from my doggie. Anyone else have a line they'd like a leader to sing? Where's my Sky's my scotch? Can I have some casino clams? Please? It's may I. May I have some casino clams? Please? It's may I. I always tell you that, and you're like, can I can? I'm like, it's may. I know I know. Mm hmm, I I wonder if you'd help me with one more thing. Of course, for those of you who are familiar with the podcast, I I used to date singer songwriter Siam. Why is that so funny? It's not funny to me. I believe you, thank you, and she uh, she rudely broke up with me, And I'm wondering if she happens to be listening to this, maybe I could reach out to her soul and we could we could reunite. And if you'd indulge me, could would you mind just singing an operatic melody while I read this love letter? Yes, while I read this love letter to see him? M hm, Oh, my heart yearns for you. I'm lost in this world without you. M I cannot sleep. M I walked the dark streets at night, calling your name. I started down in Compton and I walked up through Culver City, then through West Hollywood, screaming your name louder than any coyote could yell over the mountains down into Lucca Lake. But you answered. Not only the police answered, why won't you return my calls? I've left over a thousand, sometimes changing my voy so you'll think I'm Ariana Grande or Katie Perry. Still no answer. Why do you torment me or love us for the ages sexual and emotional? Like Zeus and Helen of Troy m like Donald Trump, and like Benefort, which apparently is back on again. Who knew, right? But I digress Cia, Sia, Siasia. See you later means not goodbye, Sia. It means I'll see you soon, see you, see you when I see you, not unless you see me for as star Bye Sia. I love you rock. But it was so wonderful. I'll treasure that moment forever. Thank you so much for covering opera singer Bond, Thank you so much for coming on, Thank you, thank you right this way. If that doesn't work, nothing's gonna work. She would have to listen to the podcast to hear that, but she doesn't. Probably gonna happen. I don't know, she seems if you guys would all get on your social and beg Sia to listen to the podcast and just say, hey, Sia, I know you don't know, but there might be a special surprise. You may be added with your soul mate uh me whatever your names are and uh And then she like she could, Oh, maybe I should listen a wrong and then she listens to that, and then she hears that, and then it's me and her making a baby. All right, karamba, Right, Well, We're almost at the end of our evening and I'd like to end it with a little piece I call my take. There's no question l A is a big status town, and one of the true measures of status is where you live. Every day I go to my local coffeehouse, the Feminine Pickle, and all day long, I just here from dirty hipsters stuff like, oh my god, I just moved to Atwater Village. You have to come visit. Oh are you still in Los Felis or is it Echo Park? Oh you're in Silver Like why at least moved to Highland Park. Oh? Really, you like the arts district better? Really, that's funny. I'm really loving Palms. That new metro line is great. You can take it down to the beach or all the way down to the coliseum, only in a straight line. I love it North Hollywood Okay, okay, I lived in Venice for a while. Uh huh, right, Abbot Kenny, I know, I love Abbot Kenny. What about West Adams It's getting great down there. I know someone who lives just off of Pan Pacific Park, so fun. They can walk to the grove. It's the best. The grove is the best. I forgot. Korea Town not cheap anymore. Hey, hey, skinny jeans, you know where I left? I left behind the Bomb's Big Boy in Burbank. Yeah me, Rod Burgundy, and trust me, it's not in a cute nighteteen forties Bungalow. I lived directly behind the Bomb's Big Boy looking for scraps because Ronnie maxed out on eleven of his credit cards during the lockdown. And sure, I've gotten to know the gang of high school kids who worked there, Peter Ashley, Brad Monica, Stephanie Courtney and hand out there twins. Who else am I forgetting? Lachlan? Wait? Did I mentioned Teeter? They are lovely? Yes, they are lovely. So take your outfit from jet Rag and get out of my face? What what was that? What was that? What you weren't in my face? Well, technically you're right, but you were talking so loud I had to eavesdrop, which felt like you were in my face. And then I go back to my coffee and my paper and I think to myself, you can't just let well enough alone. Ken you Ronnie. I guess what I'm really trying to say is that we really really need to fix the homeless problem in l A. I'm Ron Burgundy and that's my cake. Thank you everyone, that's your podcast. Thank you for coming aloud. We appreciate you having here. Thank you so much. I'm Ron Burgundy. Carolina, I don't know where she went, Carolina, come out here. Please, thank you, good night, you guys. You really appreciate you having here. Thank you so much. We'll get the hundred from here at some point in time for everyone's sexy sexy man's sexy sexy plan. Because he ain't no sucker, looking so funny, you can drive like a duck, clean like a plant, you can solive younger, fool wheel drive so we never get stuck, right so far to get up a lot of bandwins. And he's a guy. Ye, he ain't no standing, he doesn't have He's on a night sized sandwich because everybody knows he's the burgunsy Bandit The Ron Burgundy Podcast