I'm trying my best to get out of my own head, but of course it's hard to do that. They put the camera on the front of the eyePhone, and we were asking for trouble with that one. Selfies went up. We're all looking at ourselves all the time.

I'm trying my best to get out of my own head, but of course it's hard to do that. They put the camera on the front of the eyePhone, and we were asking for trouble with that one. Selfies went up. We're all looking at ourselves all the time.

Now, welcome to the one you feed Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have, quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true. And yet for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.

Now, welcome to the one you feed Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have, quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true. And yet for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.

Do you ever feel like life is just a series of problems to solve the constant hum of what's next, planning, fixing, optimizing, it can take over and before you know it, the moments of your life just become tasks to manage. I've been there, still am there a lot of the time, and I know how hard it is to break free from that mindset. In today's episode, I'm joined by Neo pasricha best selling author of the Book of Awesome, to talk about how focusing on small joys like a sound of birds, the taste of coffee, or the feel of warm laundry can help us step out of that loop. Neil shares practical tools for reclaiming our attention from distracts, actions, and finding happiness in the present moment. If you've ever felt too busy solving life to actually live it, this conversation is for you. Stick around and let's explore how to start seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary. Hi, Neil, welcome to the show.

Do you ever feel like life is just a series of problems to solve the constant hum of what's next, planning, fixing, optimizing, it can take over and before you know it, the moments of your life just become tasks to manage. I've been there, still am there a lot of the time, and I know how hard it is to break free from that mindset. In today's episode, I'm joined by Neo pasricha best selling author of the Book of Awesome, to talk about how focusing on small joys like a sound of birds, the taste of coffee, or the feel of warm laundry can help us step out of that loop. Neil shares practical tools for reclaiming our attention from distracts, actions, and finding happiness in the present moment. If you've ever felt too busy solving life to actually live it, this conversation is for you. Stick around and let's explore how to start seeing the extraordinary in the ordinary. Hi, Neil, welcome to the show.

Thank you so much for having me here. It's good to be back.

Thank you so much for having me here. It's good to be back.

Yeah, it is a pleasure to have you on. We're going to be talking about your latest book called our Book of Awesome, a celebration of the small joys that bring us together, and any other miscellaneous things that we come up with. But before we do that, let's start like we always do with the parable. You'll get another cut at it I think it's this time number three maybe, but it changes for people interestingly over the years. So in the parable, there's a grandparent talking with their grandchild and they say, in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love, and the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandchild stops and thinks about it for a second, looks up at their grandparents, says, well, which one wins, and the grandparents says, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking what does that parable mean to you in your life and in the work that.

Yeah, it is a pleasure to have you on. We're going to be talking about your latest book called our Book of Awesome, a celebration of the small joys that bring us together, and any other miscellaneous things that we come up with. But before we do that, let's start like we always do with the parable. You'll get another cut at it I think it's this time number three maybe, but it changes for people interestingly over the years. So in the parable, there's a grandparent talking with their grandchild and they say, in life, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness and bravery and love, and the other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandchild stops and thinks about it for a second, looks up at their grandparents, says, well, which one wins, and the grandparents says, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking what does that parable mean to you in your life and in the work that.

You do today. The message I get from the parable, honestly, is all about self care. I feel like we are living in a time today, Eric, where it is more and more difficult to focus on taking care of ourselves. I think the algorithm derived addictive technologies that we surround ourselves with that we sleep beside that we wake up, beside that we touch thousands of times a day, constantly pull us away from things that we know to be true to be good for us, like walking in nature, like deep RESTful sleep like time with friends and family without our cell phones. And so when I hear the parable, all I think about is a focus on the things that matter so that I can live life feeding the good wolf, the wolf of love, you know, away from all the things that the world is always trying to suck us into.

You do today. The message I get from the parable, honestly, is all about self care. I feel like we are living in a time today, Eric, where it is more and more difficult to focus on taking care of ourselves. I think the algorithm derived addictive technologies that we surround ourselves with that we sleep beside that we wake up, beside that we touch thousands of times a day, constantly pull us away from things that we know to be true to be good for us, like walking in nature, like deep RESTful sleep like time with friends and family without our cell phones. And so when I hear the parable, all I think about is a focus on the things that matter so that I can live life feeding the good wolf, the wolf of love, you know, away from all the things that the world is always trying to suck us into.

So that gives us a place we might as well just jump in, which is you have some fairly strong positions on cell phone use. Here's my question. Everything you say, I think I agree with. Everybody agrees with. Right, we all know this isn't the most helpful thing. We also know that the genie is kind of out of the bottle, so to speak. Right, We as a society don't tend to go backwards technically, So is it really for you? Is the focus is on how do we use these tools intelligently and wisely?

So that gives us a place we might as well just jump in, which is you have some fairly strong positions on cell phone use. Here's my question. Everything you say, I think I agree with. Everybody agrees with. Right, we all know this isn't the most helpful thing. We also know that the genie is kind of out of the bottle, so to speak. Right, We as a society don't tend to go backwards technically, So is it really for you? Is the focus is on how do we use these tools intelligently and wisely?

Yeah? Absolutely so. I think there's three problems with cell phones, Eric, They start with the letter P. First one is psychological. I think we can't overestimate this one. You know, when I was a kid, I could be the best basketball player in my high school team. It was feasible for me to do so. Now somebody's on YouTube throwing free throws with a blindfold on behind their back from half four. And no matter what it is, you can't be the best at it anymore. You're always a loser on the internet. And I think, no wonder we're seeing higher than ever rates of anxiety. One in three college students have clinical anxiety. Doctor Gene Tweage at San Diego State University says, but we've never seen anxiety rates this high. Jonathan Heighten NYU is saying the same thing. So let's just be really aware of how psychological inferior we often feel online. Second P is physical. You know what, when you look at a bright screen within an hour of bedtime, you don't produce as much melatone and blame your pineal gland for that one. But evolutionary biologists are now saying, you know what, actually, when you turn off a bright screen, you get a boost of energy. If you, like me, ever, turn your phone off right before going to bed, don't you feel like it's time to, like, you know, get the cave set up and build a fire, right, That's what it privately is in us. So there's a huge, huge physical issue. And then the third one is productivity. I think that right now when you look at the phone, and they keep getting more and more gamified, right, things flying and flying out, and everything's got a little number in the corner to hook your attention. We all know what hooks us. Now, what's happening is, you know, we're spending more more of our time. Some reports are saying it's thirty one percent of O time now bookmarking, prioritizing, and switching between tasks. So is the genie out of the bottle? Yes, it absolutely is. But are there simple tools and behaviors we can do to control it. I think there are, and I think honestly, not very many of us are doing these things. I'll tell you right now, I'm talking to you from my basement. You know ELSEO is down in my basement or my cell phone charger. It lives in my furnace room, the most disgusting, you know, cobweb filled room of my house. And by leaving my charger in this room, I'm forced to take a twenty second walk from here to my bedroom. And that prevents me from sending that email I'm gonna regret the next morning or quickly, you know, low resilience, me grabbing my phone in the morning. So the first thing I think we need to do is we got to get the phone out of the bedroom. When I do polls right now, I'll tell you ninety five percent of people are sleeping with their cell phone beside them. And what are they doing before bed checking their phone? What do they do when they got up in the morning check on the phone. Look, we're doing this with a bottle of wine. We'd have no problems saying you're an alcoholic, but right now we don't have this phone a halic term in society. We think it's just normal. So first thing we need to do is get the phone out of the bedroom. And if you want to go deep on it, I have a morning practice that I use to fill in the anxious tendency. My brain wants to grip something and grab something when I wake up.

Yeah? Absolutely so. I think there's three problems with cell phones, Eric, They start with the letter P. First one is psychological. I think we can't overestimate this one. You know, when I was a kid, I could be the best basketball player in my high school team. It was feasible for me to do so. Now somebody's on YouTube throwing free throws with a blindfold on behind their back from half four. And no matter what it is, you can't be the best at it anymore. You're always a loser on the internet. And I think, no wonder we're seeing higher than ever rates of anxiety. One in three college students have clinical anxiety. Doctor Gene Tweage at San Diego State University says, but we've never seen anxiety rates this high. Jonathan Heighten NYU is saying the same thing. So let's just be really aware of how psychological inferior we often feel online. Second P is physical. You know what, when you look at a bright screen within an hour of bedtime, you don't produce as much melatone and blame your pineal gland for that one. But evolutionary biologists are now saying, you know what, actually, when you turn off a bright screen, you get a boost of energy. If you, like me, ever, turn your phone off right before going to bed, don't you feel like it's time to, like, you know, get the cave set up and build a fire, right, That's what it privately is in us. So there's a huge, huge physical issue. And then the third one is productivity. I think that right now when you look at the phone, and they keep getting more and more gamified, right, things flying and flying out, and everything's got a little number in the corner to hook your attention. We all know what hooks us. Now, what's happening is, you know, we're spending more more of our time. Some reports are saying it's thirty one percent of O time now bookmarking, prioritizing, and switching between tasks. So is the genie out of the bottle? Yes, it absolutely is. But are there simple tools and behaviors we can do to control it. I think there are, and I think honestly, not very many of us are doing these things. I'll tell you right now, I'm talking to you from my basement. You know ELSEO is down in my basement or my cell phone charger. It lives in my furnace room, the most disgusting, you know, cobweb filled room of my house. And by leaving my charger in this room, I'm forced to take a twenty second walk from here to my bedroom. And that prevents me from sending that email I'm gonna regret the next morning or quickly, you know, low resilience, me grabbing my phone in the morning. So the first thing I think we need to do is we got to get the phone out of the bedroom. When I do polls right now, I'll tell you ninety five percent of people are sleeping with their cell phone beside them. And what are they doing before bed checking their phone? What do they do when they got up in the morning check on the phone. Look, we're doing this with a bottle of wine. We'd have no problems saying you're an alcoholic, but right now we don't have this phone a halic term in society. We think it's just normal. So first thing we need to do is get the phone out of the bedroom. And if you want to go deep on it, I have a morning practice that I use to fill in the anxious tendency. My brain wants to grip something and grab something when I wake up.

We may get to that. It's interesting, this phone in the morning thing. It is a plague that I fight back and I am successful with for a while, and then somehow there I am I'm like, how has this happened again? Where Like I'm checking my email first thing in the morning. So then I go through the whole process of trying to get it out, you know, I think that's a lot the way ubiquitous things that are around us all the time are like that. It's why you know, if you didn't want to smoke cigarettes, you would get rid of them completely. It makes it easier than having cigarettes that you smoke some of the time. I think you're right, we need the distance if we can get it. I mean, the cardinal rule of good and bad habits is, if you want to do something positive, make it as easy as possible to do it. Yeah, And if you don't want to do something negative, make it as hard as possible to do it right, like give yourself those things. So putting it out of the bedroom certainly means you can't get to it. I mean, I know people who lock their phone in one of those you know little boxes that has a timer on at.

We may get to that. It's interesting, this phone in the morning thing. It is a plague that I fight back and I am successful with for a while, and then somehow there I am I'm like, how has this happened again? Where Like I'm checking my email first thing in the morning. So then I go through the whole process of trying to get it out, you know, I think that's a lot the way ubiquitous things that are around us all the time are like that. It's why you know, if you didn't want to smoke cigarettes, you would get rid of them completely. It makes it easier than having cigarettes that you smoke some of the time. I think you're right, we need the distance if we can get it. I mean, the cardinal rule of good and bad habits is, if you want to do something positive, make it as easy as possible to do it. Yeah, And if you don't want to do something negative, make it as hard as possible to do it right, like give yourself those things. So putting it out of the bedroom certainly means you can't get to it. I mean, I know people who lock their phone in one of those you know little boxes that has a timer on at.

Phone sell Yeah, yeah, there's a website phone sell dot me at pho any cel dot me. If people are interested, like one hundred dollars a glass case you can put your phone in, set the timer. Yeah.

Phone sell Yeah, yeah, there's a website phone sell dot me at pho any cel dot me. If people are interested, like one hundred dollars a glass case you can put your phone in, set the timer. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The two biggest bearers that here on the cell phone bedroom thing are number one, it's my alarm clock. And I always say, have you heard a Walmart? Like can you go buy a ten dollars alarm clock. But even to this point. Now, I actually travel now with a little white box alarm clock, because I notice hotel rooms are taking them out of the rooms right because everyone they're just so used to people sleeping beside them. And the second thing I say is get a landline. Get a landline and the cell phone call. The phone companies are desperate to sell you one. They cost ten dollars a month because no one wants one. But you give that phone to your emergency people, and the idea that they can reach you in an emergency relieves you of the obligation of leaving that phone next to you with everything else that's got in it.

The two biggest bearers that here on the cell phone bedroom thing are number one, it's my alarm clock. And I always say, have you heard a Walmart? Like can you go buy a ten dollars alarm clock. But even to this point. Now, I actually travel now with a little white box alarm clock, because I notice hotel rooms are taking them out of the rooms right because everyone they're just so used to people sleeping beside them. And the second thing I say is get a landline. Get a landline and the cell phone call. The phone companies are desperate to sell you one. They cost ten dollars a month because no one wants one. But you give that phone to your emergency people, and the idea that they can reach you in an emergency relieves you of the obligation of leaving that phone next to you with everything else that's got in it.

Those are wise tips. There's lots of places to go here, but I would love to start with let's just hit the new book for a few minutes, because that's the top thing on the list, and then I've got I've got lots of other things we can go through. So the new book is called our Book of Awesome, a celebration of the small joys that bring us together. You've got previous books around awesomeness. Why this one and what's different about it?

Those are wise tips. There's lots of places to go here, but I would love to start with let's just hit the new book for a few minutes, because that's the top thing on the list, and then I've got I've got lots of other things we can go through. So the new book is called our Book of Awesome, a celebration of the small joys that bring us together. You've got previous books around awesomeness. Why this one and what's different about it?

Yeah? Absolutely so, more than ten years ago, my wife left me. My best friend took us on life, and I started a blog called one Thousand Awesome Things as a way to cheer me up. Right. So from two thousand and eight to twenty twelve, I wrote one awesome thing every single day as a journaling practice to try to focus on the positive. I wrote about flipping to the cold side of the pillow. I wrote about wearing warm underwear from out of the dryer. I wrote about playing an old dangerous playground equipment. If you're listening and you remember hot slides and you know, falling into cigarette butts, you know what I'm talking about. The blog, you know, hit nobody at first, then my mom, then my dad, and my traffic doubles. It got really big, It got really popular, and it turned into this book and I came out in twenty ten called the Book of Awesome. The Book of Austin came out Eric, and you know, it became my life for a few years. You know, all these sequels and spin offs and so on, and then for about a decade I didn't write those books. I felt like I was getting pigeonholed. I felt, you know, the krusty, the clown imitation gruel clip from The Simpsons flashed back to through my head. I was like, I got to focus on other things. And you know, I was also working a full time job at Walmart at the time, So I started focusing on like exploring happiness and exploring resilience and exploring and now I'm exploring trust these days, other big terms under this umbrella of how we live our most intentional life. So the kind of why this book Why Now is honestly the last two years of the pandemic have completely beat me up. I have felt tired, anxious, overwhelmed. I have felt symptoms of depression. I felt a lot of symptoms of stress. And so I started again. I started writing an awesome thing a day again as a way to cultivate a positive mindset. We know from research from Emmon's and mccallau that if you can write down ten things you're grateful for a week, okay, they compared it to test groups who wrote down hassles and test groups who wrote down events. Then after a ten week period, you're not just happier like you may expect, you're also physically healthier, which is incredible, right if you think you know this is a bicep curl, right, I'm flexing on screen here for those who are listening. Then gratitude turns out to be a pretty powerful brain curl because we got something in her brain called her visual cortex. There's an area in there called area seventeen. And when you talk about wearing that warm under from the dryer, or you write it down or you share it with a friend, it jogs the memory in your mind. Right, So why did I write our Book of Awesome For the first time in a decade. I'm looking to try to jolt the world back into a feeling of general positivity when I feel like outside of the one you feed, which is endless positivity. You know, all these great positives for the most part, when I look aside, it's pretty negative. So this is just, you know, a four hundred page hardcover book full of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of new awesome things.

Yeah? Absolutely so, more than ten years ago, my wife left me. My best friend took us on life, and I started a blog called one Thousand Awesome Things as a way to cheer me up. Right. So from two thousand and eight to twenty twelve, I wrote one awesome thing every single day as a journaling practice to try to focus on the positive. I wrote about flipping to the cold side of the pillow. I wrote about wearing warm underwear from out of the dryer. I wrote about playing an old dangerous playground equipment. If you're listening and you remember hot slides and you know, falling into cigarette butts, you know what I'm talking about. The blog, you know, hit nobody at first, then my mom, then my dad, and my traffic doubles. It got really big, It got really popular, and it turned into this book and I came out in twenty ten called the Book of Awesome. The Book of Austin came out Eric, and you know, it became my life for a few years. You know, all these sequels and spin offs and so on, and then for about a decade I didn't write those books. I felt like I was getting pigeonholed. I felt, you know, the krusty, the clown imitation gruel clip from The Simpsons flashed back to through my head. I was like, I got to focus on other things. And you know, I was also working a full time job at Walmart at the time, So I started focusing on like exploring happiness and exploring resilience and exploring and now I'm exploring trust these days, other big terms under this umbrella of how we live our most intentional life. So the kind of why this book Why Now is honestly the last two years of the pandemic have completely beat me up. I have felt tired, anxious, overwhelmed. I have felt symptoms of depression. I felt a lot of symptoms of stress. And so I started again. I started writing an awesome thing a day again as a way to cultivate a positive mindset. We know from research from Emmon's and mccallau that if you can write down ten things you're grateful for a week, okay, they compared it to test groups who wrote down hassles and test groups who wrote down events. Then after a ten week period, you're not just happier like you may expect, you're also physically healthier, which is incredible, right if you think you know this is a bicep curl, right, I'm flexing on screen here for those who are listening. Then gratitude turns out to be a pretty powerful brain curl because we got something in her brain called her visual cortex. There's an area in there called area seventeen. And when you talk about wearing that warm under from the dryer, or you write it down or you share it with a friend, it jogs the memory in your mind. Right, So why did I write our Book of Awesome For the first time in a decade. I'm looking to try to jolt the world back into a feeling of general positivity when I feel like outside of the one you feed, which is endless positivity. You know, all these great positives for the most part, when I look aside, it's pretty negative. So this is just, you know, a four hundred page hardcover book full of hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of new awesome things.

And some of them the r part of the book, Oh you are not ar Oh you are, is that you took submissions from your community also of things that they loved.

And some of them the r part of the book, Oh you are not ar Oh you are, is that you took submissions from your community also of things that they loved.

Yeah, you know, it's funny. In the Book of Awesome. At the very back page, I put like if you have your own awesome suggestion, you know, send it to this email address. And hadn't checked that email utters and years, but there were over ten thousand people who had submitted essays. Ten thousand, right, and some of them are like, here's what we've done in my classroom. Here's what we've done, you know. And I've got these letters over the years. I'm like, why don't we stitch these together so that the book feels like something we are talking about as people and so well, I also to that point trying to take myself out of it as best as I could. I put Neil Pastwrica and friends on the cover. I took up the photo, I took out about the author, I took out the dedication, I took out the acknowledgments. At the end of the book, what happens is, if I did it right, it culminates in this sort of like cacophony of awesome from around the world, where these this voice gets louder and louder, and it's everybody from around the world screaming and sharing positive things. And so the last ten to twenty pages of the book are literally just fade to black, with smaller and smaller awesome things. You know, I'm trying to sort of make it feel like you're flying out to outer space, but just surrounded by lots of simple pleasures, because to me, that is certainly the dose I need, you know, right now when I look at the news, when I look at doom scroll and social media and so on.

Yeah, you know, it's funny. In the Book of Awesome. At the very back page, I put like if you have your own awesome suggestion, you know, send it to this email address. And hadn't checked that email utters and years, but there were over ten thousand people who had submitted essays. Ten thousand, right, and some of them are like, here's what we've done in my classroom. Here's what we've done, you know. And I've got these letters over the years. I'm like, why don't we stitch these together so that the book feels like something we are talking about as people and so well, I also to that point trying to take myself out of it as best as I could. I put Neil Pastwrica and friends on the cover. I took up the photo, I took out about the author, I took out the dedication, I took out the acknowledgments. At the end of the book, what happens is, if I did it right, it culminates in this sort of like cacophony of awesome from around the world, where these this voice gets louder and louder, and it's everybody from around the world screaming and sharing positive things. And so the last ten to twenty pages of the book are literally just fade to black, with smaller and smaller awesome things. You know, I'm trying to sort of make it feel like you're flying out to outer space, but just surrounded by lots of simple pleasures, because to me, that is certainly the dose I need, you know, right now when I look at the news, when I look at doom scroll and social media and so on.

So is writing down awesome things just a particular form of gratitude? Is that really what it is? Or do you see it differently?

So is writing down awesome things just a particular form of gratitude? Is that really what it is? Or do you see it differently?

Yeah? You know, we're not alive very long right at the end of the day. It feels long when we're in it, but the average person is only alive for about thirty thousand days right now. That's like the North American number. It's about five thousand days lesson as a global average. So we're alive for thirty thousand days, and then a given day we are awake for about a thousand minutes. You start doing the math, eric and like it starts to feel shorter and shorter to me. What we feel like we're playing for what the greeting card industry is oriented around with the you know, there's a baby industry, there's the wedding industry. We orient our industries in capitalism around these big, major life moments. Right the day you walk across the graduation stage, Well, that's a whole industry, that's a whole season, that's a whole event, right, you know, you know this mother's day, Father's day, graduation, and then we've got you know, when you get married, right then when you have a kid. And what I think we're missing from this cultural focus on the big things is how many simple things you have in your day that if you just take an extra second to watch that swirl of cream dissolve, been to coffee, you know, those little almost micro mindfulness moments. To use a phrase I've never used before, I've been sounded pretty good. Three Yeah, They awaken you to how joyful life really is. And I say this as someone who has a tendency to words anxiety. I say this as someone who has a tendency to words feeling overwhelmed and stress a lot. When I'm writing awesome things, when I'm reading awesome things, they have a pacifying quality that just sort of like reconnects me to the wider delight of consciousness. It reconnects me to the wider appreciation for what this is. We don't know what it is man. Right, we don't know what this is. But if we can be like, oh, yeah, the sound of the wind whispering through the trees, right, or something as funny or as simple as you know, texting your husband to do something when he's upstairs and you're downstairs. Right. I wrote that one in the book, when my wife texts me to bring down the lot. Really. Wow, that's hilarious, Like, how funny is this moment? Right? I remember seeing those vacuum shoot tubes of the side of office buildings I was a kid. I'm like, the future has arrived, you know. So is it just gratitudes? Yeah? And that is the research there. But if you want to layer in other research, we could talk about Slatcher and Panda Baker at the University of Texas, to all the research on journaling. Perhaps it's a journaling practice, right. We could talk about all the research on mindfulness, on sort of living in the present moment. Perhaps there's some of that just pausing on things that typically take a microsecond. So I think, you know, separate from all the research studies, there's just something about it. There's just something that's silly and joyful and fun makes me feel good. And hopefully it makes others feel the same way.

Yeah? You know, we're not alive very long right at the end of the day. It feels long when we're in it, but the average person is only alive for about thirty thousand days right now. That's like the North American number. It's about five thousand days lesson as a global average. So we're alive for thirty thousand days, and then a given day we are awake for about a thousand minutes. You start doing the math, eric and like it starts to feel shorter and shorter to me. What we feel like we're playing for what the greeting card industry is oriented around with the you know, there's a baby industry, there's the wedding industry. We orient our industries in capitalism around these big, major life moments. Right the day you walk across the graduation stage, Well, that's a whole industry, that's a whole season, that's a whole event, right, you know, you know this mother's day, Father's day, graduation, and then we've got you know, when you get married, right then when you have a kid. And what I think we're missing from this cultural focus on the big things is how many simple things you have in your day that if you just take an extra second to watch that swirl of cream dissolve, been to coffee, you know, those little almost micro mindfulness moments. To use a phrase I've never used before, I've been sounded pretty good. Three Yeah, They awaken you to how joyful life really is. And I say this as someone who has a tendency to words anxiety. I say this as someone who has a tendency to words feeling overwhelmed and stress a lot. When I'm writing awesome things, when I'm reading awesome things, they have a pacifying quality that just sort of like reconnects me to the wider delight of consciousness. It reconnects me to the wider appreciation for what this is. We don't know what it is man. Right, we don't know what this is. But if we can be like, oh, yeah, the sound of the wind whispering through the trees, right, or something as funny or as simple as you know, texting your husband to do something when he's upstairs and you're downstairs. Right. I wrote that one in the book, when my wife texts me to bring down the lot. Really. Wow, that's hilarious, Like, how funny is this moment? Right? I remember seeing those vacuum shoot tubes of the side of office buildings I was a kid. I'm like, the future has arrived, you know. So is it just gratitudes? Yeah? And that is the research there. But if you want to layer in other research, we could talk about Slatcher and Panda Baker at the University of Texas, to all the research on journaling. Perhaps it's a journaling practice, right. We could talk about all the research on mindfulness, on sort of living in the present moment. Perhaps there's some of that just pausing on things that typically take a microsecond. So I think, you know, separate from all the research studies, there's just something about it. There's just something that's silly and joyful and fun makes me feel good. And hopefully it makes others feel the same way.

I like it because we've talked about gratitude on the show countless times. It is one of the biggest effects in the positive psychology world. When people look at what has the strongest effect gratitude and kindness to others, you know, they just stand out as these extraordinarily positive interventions. However, gratitude can become very dry and dull if it's just what am I grateful that I have? I mean, that's good to be like, it's good to be grateful that I have a house over my head. It's good to be grateful that I have a wonderful partner. It's good to be grateful that I get to do this amazing work. And I am and I do reflect those things. However, for me, I do need also, as you said, to be looking for those little moments. The word I often use and you used it somewhere in there is appreciation. Yeah, you know. Can I just find little things to appreciate throughout the.

I like it because we've talked about gratitude on the show countless times. It is one of the biggest effects in the positive psychology world. When people look at what has the strongest effect gratitude and kindness to others, you know, they just stand out as these extraordinarily positive interventions. However, gratitude can become very dry and dull if it's just what am I grateful that I have? I mean, that's good to be like, it's good to be grateful that I have a house over my head. It's good to be grateful that I have a wonderful partner. It's good to be grateful that I get to do this amazing work. And I am and I do reflect those things. However, for me, I do need also, as you said, to be looking for those little moments. The word I often use and you used it somewhere in there is appreciation. Yeah, you know. Can I just find little things to appreciate throughout the.

Day and emphasis on little like little little, yeah, like really little, you know, like when your kids don't hear you opening a bag of potato chips, right, That's when I put in the book, or sending a private message during the video conference and seeing your coworker look down and silently smirk.

Day and emphasis on little like little little, yeah, like really little, you know, like when your kids don't hear you opening a bag of potato chips, right, That's when I put in the book, or sending a private message during the video conference and seeing your coworker look down and silently smirk.

You know that one got I liked that one. I liked it right when the cake plops flawlessly out of the pan. Part of it, to me, Eric is remembering that the guy to be specific, right, So you know, writing down my husband, my kid, my dog, that a that ain't gonna cut it. It's when my husband Eric put the toilet seat down right when always happens, when our five year old daughter started writing her name out, when the rescue puppy we got during the pandemic stop peeing on the pillows. So just something be really specific. And I think a way to integrate this into your life is I know you talk about gratitude luck, but there's a game that my wife, Leslie and I play with our kids at dinner almost every night called Rose Rose thorn Bud. When we force our family and it's hard at first, and nobody wants to do it. It feels clunky and awkward to just say, hey, what was your rose from the day. The rose is the awesome thing. The rose is the gratitude when you force it to be from today only. Your mind has a very limited timeframe to sort through, and it picks out something small or sweet. Hey there's a new doughnut at the coffee shop, or you know, the crossing guard remembered my name, or you know I got a B plus on my math test. Whatever, you do it again, that's the second rose. Then you make space for a thorn. And I think this is missing from a lot of the gratitude practices we have in society. You got to have a place to vent, and so what we try to do is just say to the kids, oh, that sucks. Just that's it. You don't try to solve the problem. Just hear the thorn. And then finally a bud. It's a nice way to end. That's bud, which is something you are looking forward.

You know that one got I liked that one. I liked it right when the cake plops flawlessly out of the pan. Part of it, to me, Eric is remembering that the guy to be specific, right, So you know, writing down my husband, my kid, my dog, that a that ain't gonna cut it. It's when my husband Eric put the toilet seat down right when always happens, when our five year old daughter started writing her name out, when the rescue puppy we got during the pandemic stop peeing on the pillows. So just something be really specific. And I think a way to integrate this into your life is I know you talk about gratitude luck, but there's a game that my wife, Leslie and I play with our kids at dinner almost every night called Rose Rose thorn Bud. When we force our family and it's hard at first, and nobody wants to do it. It feels clunky and awkward to just say, hey, what was your rose from the day. The rose is the awesome thing. The rose is the gratitude when you force it to be from today only. Your mind has a very limited timeframe to sort through, and it picks out something small or sweet. Hey there's a new doughnut at the coffee shop, or you know, the crossing guard remembered my name, or you know I got a B plus on my math test. Whatever, you do it again, that's the second rose. Then you make space for a thorn. And I think this is missing from a lot of the gratitude practices we have in society. You got to have a place to vent, and so what we try to do is just say to the kids, oh, that sucks. Just that's it. You don't try to solve the problem. Just hear the thorn. And then finally a bud. It's a nice way to end. That's bud, which is something you are looking forward.

To, and that not something that you are smoking with your children. Just for my stoner listeners, I want to clarify what we're talking about here.

To, and that not something that you are smoking with your children. Just for my stoner listeners, I want to clarify what we're talking about here.

Rose rose, thorn, bud A simple dinner time, dinner table practice, or you can do it with your partner at bedtime whatever, to get the gratitude or the awesome thing kind of into the conversation in a way where it doesn't feel like you were mentioning, you know, sort of dry or repetitive. Right now you're forced to of one each day at dinner.

Rose rose, thorn, bud A simple dinner time, dinner table practice, or you can do it with your partner at bedtime whatever, to get the gratitude or the awesome thing kind of into the conversation in a way where it doesn't feel like you were mentioning, you know, sort of dry or repetitive. Right now you're forced to of one each day at dinner.

Yeah, and I think that practice. Any of these practices, right, there's different ways of doing them, but they get us looking for the positive. It's like when I went through a period where I was like, I'm going to take a picture every day, Yeah, which meant that I was looking for something beautiful all the time. Yeah, not just the one moment I took the picture that oriented the way I went through the world. And it's the same way. If we're looking for what we appreciate, we're just naturally going to notice more things than if we're just kind of on autopilot.

Yeah, and I think that practice. Any of these practices, right, there's different ways of doing them, but they get us looking for the positive. It's like when I went through a period where I was like, I'm going to take a picture every day, Yeah, which meant that I was looking for something beautiful all the time. Yeah, not just the one moment I took the picture that oriented the way I went through the world. And it's the same way. If we're looking for what we appreciate, we're just naturally going to notice more things than if we're just kind of on autopilot.

Have you been hearing all of this new research coming out on just the idea of expanding or dilating your pupils, sort of consciously expanding your vision. Yes, to that idea of seeing wider vistas. Yes, because it relaxes you. Have you been following all of that and your Huberman and so on.

Have you been hearing all of this new research coming out on just the idea of expanding or dilating your pupils, sort of consciously expanding your vision. Yes, to that idea of seeing wider vistas. Yes, because it relaxes you. Have you been following all of that and your Huberman and so on.

Yeah, I've been following. And what's interesting is that my primary spiritual practice is Zen and that is a very old Zen technique. I mean that has been thousands of you know, thousands of years through the Zen. Well, I wouldn't say thousands, a thousand years at least in the Zen tradition has had that as a practice, you know. So it's been really interesting to see it sort of show up in the scientific literature. Yeah. I think it's amazing.

Yeah, I've been following. And what's interesting is that my primary spiritual practice is Zen and that is a very old Zen technique. I mean that has been thousands of you know, thousands of years through the Zen. Well, I wouldn't say thousands, a thousand years at least in the Zen tradition has had that as a practice, you know. So it's been really interesting to see it sort of show up in the scientific literature. Yeah. I think it's amazing.

It's amazing how much scientific literature just tells us what our grandma told us, you know, or just like it's like we have Yeah, why do I have to quote research about gratitudes and journaling and all this, because that's what makes people agree that it's worth it, right, Yeah, it just feels good. It's just the right way to do it. You know. Not everything needs science behind it, but yeah, the science convinces us that's the right thing to do.

It's amazing how much scientific literature just tells us what our grandma told us, you know, or just like it's like we have Yeah, why do I have to quote research about gratitudes and journaling and all this, because that's what makes people agree that it's worth it, right, Yeah, it just feels good. It's just the right way to do it. You know. Not everything needs science behind it, but yeah, the science convinces us that's the right thing to do.

Absolutely. Yeah, we are oriented that way. I've always said that I love it when there's like different points of support. So like if I read scientifically, Okay, this thing is good, and then I can also see it in wisdom traditions that have been around for you know, thousands of years, then I'm like, okay, good. And then if I actually then have done it in my life and seen it to be good, then it's like I've got sort of the triple crown there, and I'm like, proof point trifecta, Yeah, the proof point trifecta, Yes, And I love that Rose rose bud thorn. I think you also are doing a high low buffalo with your kids now.

Absolutely. Yeah, we are oriented that way. I've always said that I love it when there's like different points of support. So like if I read scientifically, Okay, this thing is good, and then I can also see it in wisdom traditions that have been around for you know, thousands of years, then I'm like, okay, good. And then if I actually then have done it in my life and seen it to be good, then it's like I've got sort of the triple crown there, and I'm like, proof point trifecta, Yeah, the proof point trifecta, Yes, And I love that Rose rose bud thorn. I think you also are doing a high low buffalo with your kids now.

Yeah, if the kids protest rose rose thorn butt, and they sometimes do, because again, like I said, no one wants to play at the beginning. But you can't go around the dinner table and say say roses without people feeling good about it. So the ending of you it's like a workout. You feel good when it's over. You got to hold onto that thought at the beginning. But if they protest, we say, okay, how about high low buffalo, and suddenly they're interested. Well, guess what The first two things are the same, right, Hi is an awesome thing, A rose, a gratitude, a highlight low is the same as a thorn. Buffalo is something weird that happened during your day, just something funny, something strange and aha, a strange encounter, a little anecdote, and those end up being you know what, people look forward to sharing and hearing.

Yeah, if the kids protest rose rose thorn butt, and they sometimes do, because again, like I said, no one wants to play at the beginning. But you can't go around the dinner table and say say roses without people feeling good about it. So the ending of you it's like a workout. You feel good when it's over. You got to hold onto that thought at the beginning. But if they protest, we say, okay, how about high low buffalo, and suddenly they're interested. Well, guess what The first two things are the same, right, Hi is an awesome thing, A rose, a gratitude, a highlight low is the same as a thorn. Buffalo is something weird that happened during your day, just something funny, something strange and aha, a strange encounter, a little anecdote, and those end up being you know what, people look forward to sharing and hearing.

Oh, I'm sure how old are your kids?

Oh, I'm sure how old are your kids?

Well less than I have four boys under eight years old.

Well less than I have four boys under eight years old.

Oh it must be must be spectacular, buffalo world.

Oh it must be must be spectacular, buffalo world.

Yeah, they often relate to candy weather splashing to you know, like random random stuff. But it's beautiful. I know, during those loud, chaotic, crazy moments when I can feel my overwhelmed rising, I'm just like, I'm gonna miss this. I gotta enjoy that. There's only a few years when they're going to be this small, so we're in those years right now.

Yeah, they often relate to candy weather splashing to you know, like random random stuff. But it's beautiful. I know, during those loud, chaotic, crazy moments when I can feel my overwhelmed rising, I'm just like, I'm gonna miss this. I gotta enjoy that. There's only a few years when they're going to be this small, so we're in those years right now.

Yeah. Yeah, if I were in your shoes, I would be writing some of those buffalo things down because my son I thought, I'll never forget the things he said, And of course I have forgotten the things he said when he was little. I mean I remember a couple of them, but not the vast majority of them. That's just the way my brain works.

Yeah. Yeah, if I were in your shoes, I would be writing some of those buffalo things down because my son I thought, I'll never forget the things he said, And of course I have forgotten the things he said when he was little. I mean I remember a couple of them, but not the vast majority of them. That's just the way my brain works.

You're right, And actually this reminds me of a wonderful gift we got that I might share with your listeners as well. When we sent out our birth announcement, which is in the form of an email our friends and family, a couple Martin and Farah, who were friends with they took a line from our own birth announcement and got to printed on a hardcover, blank white book with the name of the baby on the front and just lines in between, and they mailed it to us with the story saying, we've kept it both like this with our son, who's now sixteen years old. Of the funny and interesting things. He said, Well, of course we started doing that, especially on the first kid, writer Eric, and then every subsequent birth announcement they've done the same thing, and so we wouldn't have done it for ourselves, like we just wouldn't have gone to the trouble of making a book with their kids name on the front. But because we have those books, we know leave them in conspicuous locations and the quote gets written in there right away. In an ideal world, we miss stuff all the time. But it's a nice you know, similar to the memory box idea that some people keep for their kids in their in their closet or an inbox that you send you BCC emails to for years and then you eventually give them the password.

You're right, And actually this reminds me of a wonderful gift we got that I might share with your listeners as well. When we sent out our birth announcement, which is in the form of an email our friends and family, a couple Martin and Farah, who were friends with they took a line from our own birth announcement and got to printed on a hardcover, blank white book with the name of the baby on the front and just lines in between, and they mailed it to us with the story saying, we've kept it both like this with our son, who's now sixteen years old. Of the funny and interesting things. He said, Well, of course we started doing that, especially on the first kid, writer Eric, and then every subsequent birth announcement they've done the same thing, and so we wouldn't have done it for ourselves, like we just wouldn't have gone to the trouble of making a book with their kids name on the front. But because we have those books, we know leave them in conspicuous locations and the quote gets written in there right away. In an ideal world, we miss stuff all the time. But it's a nice you know, similar to the memory box idea that some people keep for their kids in their in their closet or an inbox that you send you BCC emails to for years and then you eventually give them the password.

Right.

Right.

I think I told that from a goog commercial. But you know, there's these ways to kind of create future memories for kids and for you yourself which are kind of beautiful.

I think I told that from a goog commercial. But you know, there's these ways to kind of create future memories for kids and for you yourself which are kind of beautiful.

Absolutely. All right, let's turn to your podcast, which is called three books. And so what you do is, well, I'll just let you tell people what you do. I don't need to tell them, you tell them, Okay, well, let's three books.

Absolutely. All right, let's turn to your podcast, which is called three books. And so what you do is, well, I'll just let you tell people what you do. I don't need to tell them, you tell them, Okay, well, let's three books.

So I have been obsessed with this number one thousand for a very long time. I started a blog called one thousand Awesome Things, as you know, and I talked about how we're awake for one thousand minutes a day, and I mentioned thirty five thousand days. Guess what, that's also a thousand months, Like you know, you're alive for a thousand months. So I started feeling this number one thousands a really important number. It's bigger than a small goal and smaller than a huge goal, right, And so in twenty eighteen, I decided that as one of the methods to force myself to read more, I introduced a number of systems in my life eric, you know, moving the TV to the basement, putting a bookshelf at the front door, canceling my subscription to the two newspapers I was getting. And that includes news sites right online, Little systems, Little systems, Little systems. One of the system was starting a podcast dedicated to uncovering the one thousand most formative books in the world. It was partly inspired by the fact that I was endlessly frustrated with the I think the algorithms are terrible when it comes to book recommendations. I think Amazon back of the day used to be pretty good, and now when it's all sponsored an ad driven, you know, you don't actually get stuff that is related to the bookery and they can't get off the you know, the money that they make from those the sponsorships, and now you don't get good book recommendations. So what I'm doing on my podcast three Books is I'm spending almost fifteen years sitting down with three hundred and thirty three inspiring people, which is including Eric Zimmer on an upcoming chapter, and asking them which three books most changed your life? So you give me your books their I buy the books, I read the books. That's my goal, and then I sit down with you and I talk about the themes from those books. Okay, So I am skewing everywhere from Quentin Tarantino, Judy Bloom, Brende Brown, Malcolm Lavell, two Uber drivers, I had variety store owners at the corner, my reading people I meet on the back of the bus. I mean, I'm trying to get as best I can a cross section of people, what the only common characteristic is and they like books. Yeah, if you like books, you like reading, let's talk about which three shaped you. And that's the whole idea behind it.

So I have been obsessed with this number one thousand for a very long time. I started a blog called one thousand Awesome Things, as you know, and I talked about how we're awake for one thousand minutes a day, and I mentioned thirty five thousand days. Guess what, that's also a thousand months, Like you know, you're alive for a thousand months. So I started feeling this number one thousands a really important number. It's bigger than a small goal and smaller than a huge goal, right, And so in twenty eighteen, I decided that as one of the methods to force myself to read more, I introduced a number of systems in my life eric, you know, moving the TV to the basement, putting a bookshelf at the front door, canceling my subscription to the two newspapers I was getting. And that includes news sites right online, Little systems, Little systems, Little systems. One of the system was starting a podcast dedicated to uncovering the one thousand most formative books in the world. It was partly inspired by the fact that I was endlessly frustrated with the I think the algorithms are terrible when it comes to book recommendations. I think Amazon back of the day used to be pretty good, and now when it's all sponsored an ad driven, you know, you don't actually get stuff that is related to the bookery and they can't get off the you know, the money that they make from those the sponsorships, and now you don't get good book recommendations. So what I'm doing on my podcast three Books is I'm spending almost fifteen years sitting down with three hundred and thirty three inspiring people, which is including Eric Zimmer on an upcoming chapter, and asking them which three books most changed your life? So you give me your books their I buy the books, I read the books. That's my goal, and then I sit down with you and I talk about the themes from those books. Okay, So I am skewing everywhere from Quentin Tarantino, Judy Bloom, Brende Brown, Malcolm Lavell, two Uber drivers, I had variety store owners at the corner, my reading people I meet on the back of the bus. I mean, I'm trying to get as best I can a cross section of people, what the only common characteristic is and they like books. Yeah, if you like books, you like reading, let's talk about which three shaped you. And that's the whole idea behind it.

So I can't help but ask you, what are three of your formative books? Maybe you've already been asked this, probably because it's an obvious question and you have them. If you haven't, then you can just pick three important books to you.

So I can't help but ask you, what are three of your formative books? Maybe you've already been asked this, probably because it's an obvious question and you have them. If you haven't, then you can just pick three important books to you.

No, No, I always joke that that's going to be the very last chapter of the show because it buys me time twenty thirty one when the last chapter of three books actually airs, and I call them chapters right instead of episodes, just just to be bookish. But truthfully, I'll share a few with you for sure. The Babysitters Club Treasuries. When I was a kid, I read outside of my gender. I'm using quotation marks because I crossed over to my sister's bookshelf and I found the idea that this woman, Ann M. Martin could write a book from five different girls perspectives where they alternated by chapter, Totally fascinating. It exposed me to the concept of voice in a book and the idea that a really good author could sort of remove themselves and enter into different perspectives. So why do I mention that? Well, because our book of Awesome is written in a very different voice than You Are Awesome. I know the titles sound the same, but you were Awesome as my book about resilience. They came out two years ago, and that's a little bit more of like research base. Here's some theories on results. That's a different voice, and I'm not as good as her, but just the idea that I could be different people under the guy of letters was a very formative discovery for me. That's one. Another one is The Black Swan by Naesem Talib, nonfiction behavioral economics. If I could boil down with that book taught me is the world is chaos, random and unpredictable. So your best bet is actually to put a chip on every single number on the Roulette wheel and give it a spin. Why does Neil Pastrica have a blog called Neil dot Blog a speaking you know business, I'm giving speeches, I'm writing books, I'm doing podcasts. In a way, Eric, what I'm really doing is just constantly try new things, you know, as Seth Godin once said, I'm a big fan of Poof. I think somebody asked him why he starts and quits so many projects. Well, this is the black Swan theory. Expose yourself to as many opportunities as possible because you don't know which one's gonna take off, and when one does, you can then increase your personal resources onto that one with very very little trade off costs. It's an important formative book to me because it constantly reminds me to try new things. I'll be too hung up on the outcomes because truthfully, I can't control them that well you know, yeah, I just can't. And so this book reminds me that the world is chaos and random, written by someone way smarter than me. Yea, So it sort of relaxes me into thinking, Okay, I'll do what I can, but the most important thing is to try new things. One other metaphorical takeaway from this is go to parties where you don't know anyone. It's the same idea, expose yourself to places and situations where you're more likely to learn a lot, but you're less likely to know a lot.

No, No, I always joke that that's going to be the very last chapter of the show because it buys me time twenty thirty one when the last chapter of three books actually airs, and I call them chapters right instead of episodes, just just to be bookish. But truthfully, I'll share a few with you for sure. The Babysitters Club Treasuries. When I was a kid, I read outside of my gender. I'm using quotation marks because I crossed over to my sister's bookshelf and I found the idea that this woman, Ann M. Martin could write a book from five different girls perspectives where they alternated by chapter, Totally fascinating. It exposed me to the concept of voice in a book and the idea that a really good author could sort of remove themselves and enter into different perspectives. So why do I mention that? Well, because our book of Awesome is written in a very different voice than You Are Awesome. I know the titles sound the same, but you were Awesome as my book about resilience. They came out two years ago, and that's a little bit more of like research base. Here's some theories on results. That's a different voice, and I'm not as good as her, but just the idea that I could be different people under the guy of letters was a very formative discovery for me. That's one. Another one is The Black Swan by Naesem Talib, nonfiction behavioral economics. If I could boil down with that book taught me is the world is chaos, random and unpredictable. So your best bet is actually to put a chip on every single number on the Roulette wheel and give it a spin. Why does Neil Pastrica have a blog called Neil dot Blog a speaking you know business, I'm giving speeches, I'm writing books, I'm doing podcasts. In a way, Eric, what I'm really doing is just constantly try new things, you know, as Seth Godin once said, I'm a big fan of Poof. I think somebody asked him why he starts and quits so many projects. Well, this is the black Swan theory. Expose yourself to as many opportunities as possible because you don't know which one's gonna take off, and when one does, you can then increase your personal resources onto that one with very very little trade off costs. It's an important formative book to me because it constantly reminds me to try new things. I'll be too hung up on the outcomes because truthfully, I can't control them that well you know, yeah, I just can't. And so this book reminds me that the world is chaos and random, written by someone way smarter than me. Yea, So it sort of relaxes me into thinking, Okay, I'll do what I can, but the most important thing is to try new things. One other metaphorical takeaway from this is go to parties where you don't know anyone. It's the same idea, expose yourself to places and situations where you're more likely to learn a lot, but you're less likely to know a lot.

We'll get to your third book in a second but you've got something on your personal dashboard which is to do some new experience every month. I also notice you have something called Nil's night out each week, which is something I've started post pandemic, which is at least one night a week, I have to get out and do something. It doesn't matter what it is, but I have to be out and about, and ideally it be with a friend. Because I just realized, like I'd gotten comfortable being at home, and if I don't actually make a specific point of it, it doesn't happen that often. It's amazing to me. I think some of that's age maybe, but I share your basic thing of like how do I get a little bit of new experience into my life on a consistent basis absolutely.

We'll get to your third book in a second but you've got something on your personal dashboard which is to do some new experience every month. I also notice you have something called Nil's night out each week, which is something I've started post pandemic, which is at least one night a week, I have to get out and do something. It doesn't matter what it is, but I have to be out and about, and ideally it be with a friend. Because I just realized, like I'd gotten comfortable being at home, and if I don't actually make a specific point of it, it doesn't happen that often. It's amazing to me. I think some of that's age maybe, but I share your basic thing of like how do I get a little bit of new experience into my life on a consistent basis absolutely.

One hundred percent. And so you know this, this little monthly dashboard that I draw is just a way for me to constantly like write, size where I'm going. The top two boxes a I call strong core business and fastest learning, and they have things on them like, you know, give four speeches, write one chapter of a book, write one article, and things like read eight books a month, have one new experience. The bottom is self care, self care for my family, right number of nights away it's usually four or less per month. Number of dinners at home, you know, and number of nights out. That's what you're talking about. Eric's side out, neil zeide out. I forced myself to go. Also important to introduce new stories into the relationships I find. You know, as Leslie and I have now been married for almost nine years, you know our tendency is to have all these experiences together. But when I go out, or when she got that, you come back with new energy, a new person you met, a new person you saw, et cetera. And then the bottom right quadrant is taking care of myself. This one's often read, but it's like number of workouts, number of number of cardio experiences and so on. Why do I do those two things? Well, the neils light off and Lessie's night off. Lessie's my wife, l I know, is her night off. They pay for each other. That's really an important point. So when you have lots of kids or a little kid or whatever at home, you got responsibilities. Me taking off for a night is guilt ridden, right, I'm leaving her alone with the babies. But because she's got a night off three days from now, they pay for each other. You don't feel bad because she's got one coming. And in my night off, I'm happy to have no plan. I'll just go on a really long walk. I believe in the Jane Jacobs philosophy. And we live in downtown Toronto, you know, the urban center off for something other places cannot, namely the strange.

One hundred percent. And so you know this, this little monthly dashboard that I draw is just a way for me to constantly like write, size where I'm going. The top two boxes a I call strong core business and fastest learning, and they have things on them like, you know, give four speeches, write one chapter of a book, write one article, and things like read eight books a month, have one new experience. The bottom is self care, self care for my family, right number of nights away it's usually four or less per month. Number of dinners at home, you know, and number of nights out. That's what you're talking about. Eric's side out, neil zeide out. I forced myself to go. Also important to introduce new stories into the relationships I find. You know, as Leslie and I have now been married for almost nine years, you know our tendency is to have all these experiences together. But when I go out, or when she got that, you come back with new energy, a new person you met, a new person you saw, et cetera. And then the bottom right quadrant is taking care of myself. This one's often read, but it's like number of workouts, number of number of cardio experiences and so on. Why do I do those two things? Well, the neils light off and Lessie's night off. Lessie's my wife, l I know, is her night off. They pay for each other. That's really an important point. So when you have lots of kids or a little kid or whatever at home, you got responsibilities. Me taking off for a night is guilt ridden, right, I'm leaving her alone with the babies. But because she's got a night off three days from now, they pay for each other. You don't feel bad because she's got one coming. And in my night off, I'm happy to have no plan. I'll just go on a really long walk. I believe in the Jane Jacobs philosophy. And we live in downtown Toronto, you know, the urban center off for something other places cannot, namely the strange.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I end up talking to a lot of people, you know, living outside or in the late night bookstores or on the street, and I'll tell you I learn more from those conversations than anything else. It just puts me in constant situations and oftentimes it makes me feel very, very lucky, right just to have a roof over my head and so on. So I try to get out Tonight. I'm going to a techno concert at an underground bar that somebody invited me to online.

I end up talking to a lot of people, you know, living outside or in the late night bookstores or on the street, and I'll tell you I learn more from those conversations than anything else. It just puts me in constant situations and oftentimes it makes me feel very, very lucky, right just to have a roof over my head and so on. So I try to get out Tonight. I'm going to a techno concert at an underground bar that somebody invited me to online.

Okay, awesome.

Okay, awesome.

I don't know anything about any of those words I just said, but I'm sure something interesting will happen, and if not, that's a learning too. So I do those things. And the one weird growth opportunity is it's like pushing myself to do something out of my comfort zone each month.

I don't know anything about any of those words I just said, but I'm sure something interesting will happen, and if not, that's a learning too. So I do those things. And the one weird growth opportunity is it's like pushing myself to do something out of my comfort zone each month.

Yep, So this techno event would count in that right, because it's something you would never do. Yeah.

Yep, So this techno event would count in that right, because it's something you would never do. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, it's not perfect. The point of this dashboard is just to kind of right size my ship. Not everything's always green. I use this the way I say, oh, next month, I need to invest a bit more in self care, or oh, you know, next month I need to read to get a bit more because I didn't really read many books this month, or whatever it is.

Yeah, yeah, it's not perfect. The point of this dashboard is just to kind of right size my ship. Not everything's always green. I use this the way I say, oh, next month, I need to invest a bit more in self care, or oh, you know, next month I need to read to get a bit more because I didn't really read many books this month, or whatever it is.

Yeah, I really like the idea. It's very simple. Link in the show notes to where there's an article about it. People can see this. I have a couple questions about it, though. Question one is do the four quadrants ever change? Are they always the same? And then do the things in the quadrants change?

Yeah, I really like the idea. It's very simple. Link in the show notes to where there's an article about it. People can see this. I have a couple questions about it, though. Question one is do the four quadrants ever change? Are they always the same? And then do the things in the quadrants change?

Yeah? And just to say, I stole this idea of doing this box from David cheese Right. David Cheeszer was my boss when I worked at Walmart. He was the president and CEO of the company, and he drew this model as the strategy for the organization. That's kind of weird to use an organizational strategy template as mine, But I really like the philosophy underpinning it, which is in the center he wrote, we save people money so they can live better. Well, that was the Walmart purpose or is the Walmart purpose? I no longer work there as I'm kind of doing this artistic stuff like you full time. But in the center, I advise people to put your ichy guy right. This is a word we talked about in our last conversation. I k I GEI the reason you get up out of bed in the morning. So I write down, now, you know, helping people live happy lives or figuring out how to live an intentional life myself and sharing that with the world or whatever that is. They put that in the center. That's your That's going to be your kind of north star. The top two boxes I mentioned, which I call strongcore business and fastest learning are what I do. The principal underpinning this to are what I do right. And you should revisit and wrestle and change and examine right. Otherwise that means you're kind of static. So I do change and tweak those things all the time. And I also might be I think it was like six speeches a month, and then I one can it was five speeches a month. Then I had two because it was four speeches. You see what I mean. I'm changing this Also the thing in accordance with my life situation. Those are the top two boxes. The bottom two boxes are how I do it. They're the energy source. That's why it's best family and best self, because if I'm not properly investing in those dinners at home, those nights at home, those workouts, those meditations, I don't have the headspace and the energy to be able to do the stuff on the top. And so yes, to answer your question, the words and specific bullet points can change, but what doesn't change is the high level design of the dashboard. Achy guy in the center, what you do on the top, how you do it on the bottom?

Yeah? And just to say, I stole this idea of doing this box from David cheese Right. David Cheeszer was my boss when I worked at Walmart. He was the president and CEO of the company, and he drew this model as the strategy for the organization. That's kind of weird to use an organizational strategy template as mine, But I really like the philosophy underpinning it, which is in the center he wrote, we save people money so they can live better. Well, that was the Walmart purpose or is the Walmart purpose? I no longer work there as I'm kind of doing this artistic stuff like you full time. But in the center, I advise people to put your ichy guy right. This is a word we talked about in our last conversation. I k I GEI the reason you get up out of bed in the morning. So I write down, now, you know, helping people live happy lives or figuring out how to live an intentional life myself and sharing that with the world or whatever that is. They put that in the center. That's your That's going to be your kind of north star. The top two boxes I mentioned, which I call strongcore business and fastest learning are what I do. The principal underpinning this to are what I do right. And you should revisit and wrestle and change and examine right. Otherwise that means you're kind of static. So I do change and tweak those things all the time. And I also might be I think it was like six speeches a month, and then I one can it was five speeches a month. Then I had two because it was four speeches. You see what I mean. I'm changing this Also the thing in accordance with my life situation. Those are the top two boxes. The bottom two boxes are how I do it. They're the energy source. That's why it's best family and best self, because if I'm not properly investing in those dinners at home, those nights at home, those workouts, those meditations, I don't have the headspace and the energy to be able to do the stuff on the top. And so yes, to answer your question, the words and specific bullet points can change, but what doesn't change is the high level design of the dashboard. Achy guy in the center, what you do on the top, how you do it on the bottom?

Got it?

Got it?

I feel a bit funny describing all this verbally. So yeah, if you're listening to this and you're like, what is he talking about? Do check out the show notes. We're actually show a graphical interpretation of this dashboard so people can actually see it.

I feel a bit funny describing all this verbally. So yeah, if you're listening to this and you're like, what is he talking about? Do check out the show notes. We're actually show a graphical interpretation of this dashboard so people can actually see it.

Yeap, all right, we got through two books. I don't think we got to the third.

Yeap, all right, we got through two books. I don't think we got to the third.

Yeah, and I'm picking not the three most formulta but three formative books. The other one I'd really want to suggest is On the Shortness of Life by Seneca. It's less of a book than it is a two thousand year old letter written by stoic philosopher Seneca. It's about twenty pages long. There's something about this letter, Eric. I don't know if you've read it or not.

Yeah, and I'm picking not the three most formulta but three formative books. The other one I'd really want to suggest is On the Shortness of Life by Seneca. It's less of a book than it is a two thousand year old letter written by stoic philosopher Seneca. It's about twenty pages long. There's something about this letter, Eric. I don't know if you've read it or not.

I have at some point in the past. Yes.

I have at some point in the past. Yes.

Yeah, it's a really really thin They made a Penguin Classics version of it, which is out of print, but you can still get online. And that's also if you buy Letters from a Stoic by Seneca. It's one of those letters. I keep a copy of this in my suitcase all times. I find it incredibly grounding and centering and stress relieving because here's the guy two thousand years ago, which is and it's written like an email from your buddy, like it just sounds like I know it must be the translation, but it just sounds so current, it sounds fresh, and he's essentially arguing that life is long if you know how to live it, and a lot of ways. It's an argument towards saying no to locked and lots and lots of things so that you can say hell yeah to the ones that really matter to you. And it's a grounding and a remembering force to me, to you know, be a little more kind to myself and a little bit more selfish about what I you know, say yes and no to why do I travel with it? Like why do I travel with the same book in my suitcase? Because I find that one I land in hotels in a random city and a random time zone in a random place, I'm stressed, and so I have two things in my suitcase at all times for that. One is On the Shortness of Life by Seneca, and two is a lacrosseball so that I can rub my back and you know, rub my arms out on the wall of the hotel and then you know, paris sympathetic nervous SYSM kicks in and I fall asleep.