In this episode, Ellen Hendriksen discusses the hidden costs of perfectionism and why you never feel good enough. She shares the various ways perfectionism disguises itself as a positive trait—when in reality, it can lead to self-criticism, procrastination, and emotional exhaustion. Ellen also explains why perfectionism is less about being perfect and more about never feeling good enough, how self-acceptance is the antidote, and why procrastination is actually an emotional regulation problem (not a time management issue).

Key Takeaways:
(01:02) – Perfectionism isn’t about being perfect—it’s about never feeling good enough
(03:26) – The two wolves of perfectionism: Conscientiousness vs. Self-Criticism
(07:36) – Overevaluation: When self-worth gets tangled with performance
(16:57) – Guided Drift: Mr. Rogers’ surprising philosophy on perfection and mistakes
(26:51) – The power of self-compassion: You don’t need to be perfect to be worthy
(39:40) – Emotional Perfectionism: The toxic belief that you “shouldn’t” feel a certain way
(43:59) – Why procrastination is actually about emotion management—not time management
(50:46) – How to release past mistakes and stop ruminating over failures

For full show notes, click here!

If you enjoyed this episode with Ellen Hendriksen, check out these other episodes:

How to Overcome Perfectionism and Create Your Best Work with David Kadavy

How to Manage Social Anxiety and The Inner Critic with Ellen Hendriksen

Being a Procrastinator with Tim Pychyl

Connect with the show:
Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify
Follow us on Instagram

In this episode,&nbsp;Ellen Hendriksen&nbsp;discusses the hidden costs of perfectionism and why you never feel good enough. She shares the various ways&nbsp;perfectionism&nbsp;disguises itself as a positive trait&mdash;when in reality, it can lead to&nbsp;self-criticism, procrastination, and emotional exhaustion. Ellen also explains why perfectionism is less about being perfect and more about&nbsp;never feeling good enough, how&nbsp;self-acceptance&nbsp;is the antidote, and why&nbsp;procrastination is actually an emotional regulation problem&nbsp;(not a time management issue).
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>(01:02)&nbsp;&ndash; Perfectionism isn&rsquo;t about being perfect&mdash;it&rsquo;s about never feeling good enough</li>
<li>(03:26)&nbsp;&ndash; The two wolves of perfectionism: Conscientiousness vs. Self-Criticism</li>
<li>(07:36)&nbsp;&ndash; Overevaluation: When self-worth gets tangled with performance</li>
<li>(16:57)&nbsp;&ndash; Guided Drift: Mr. Rogers&rsquo; surprising philosophy on perfection and mistakes</li>
<li>(26:51)&nbsp;&ndash; The power of self-compassion: You don&rsquo;t need to be perfect to be worthy</li>
<li>(39:40)&nbsp;&ndash;&nbsp;Emotional Perfectionism: The toxic belief that you &ldquo;shouldn&rsquo;t&rdquo; feel a certain way</li>
<li>(43:59)&nbsp;&ndash;&nbsp;Why procrastination is actually about emotion management&mdash;not time management</li>
<li>(50:46)&nbsp;&ndash;&nbsp;How to release past mistakes and stop ruminating over failures</li>
</ul>
For full show notes,<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/the-hidden-cost-of-perfectionism/">&nbsp;click here</a>!
If you enjoyed this episode with Ellen Hendriksen, check out these other episodes:
How to Overcome Perfectionism and Create Your Best Work with David Kadavy
How to Manage Social Anxiety and The Inner Critic with Ellen Hendriksen
Being a Procrastinator with Tim Pychyl
Connect with the show:
<ul>
<li>Follow us on YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@TheOneYouFeedPod">@TheOneYouFeedPod</a></li>
<li>Subscribe on <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/ms/podcast/the-one-you-feed/id792555885">Apple Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/4byxEuJGV8xnxlgoqHQxxs">Spotify</a></li>
<li>Follow us on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/one_you_feed/">Instagram</a></li>
</ul>

Transformative ideas from the best thinkers on the planet including guests like James Clear, Susan Cain, Michael Pollan, Deepak Chopra, Nicole LaPera, Yung Pueblo, Gabor Mate, Maggie Smith, , David Whyte, Macklemore, George Saunders, Anne Lamott, Frank Turner, Mark Manson, Tara Brach, AJ Jacobs, Oliver Burkeman, Ryan Holiday, Parker Palmer. It’s not about perfection; it’s about direction.

Transformative ideas from the best thinkers on the planet including guests like James Clear, Susan Cain, Michael Pollan, Deepak Chopra, Nicole LaPera, Yung Pueblo, Gabor Mate, Maggie Smith, , David Whyte, Macklemore, George Saunders, Anne Lamott, Frank Turner, Mark Manson, Tara Brach, AJ Jacobs, Oliver Burkeman, Ryan Holiday, Parker Palmer. It&rsquo;s not about perfection; it&rsquo;s about direction.

The One You Feed

 A deep dive into perfectionism, self-acceptance, and the hidden struggles behind never feeling good enough.

The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism: Why You Never Feel Good Enough with Ellen Hendriksen

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/645295e4-e510-406d-8408-b28a016efcec/transcript

In this episode, Henry Shukman discusses how to embrace the chaos and find clarity through meditation while exploring themes of self-development and self-love. Henry emphasizes the balance between effort and acceptance in spiritual practice, highlighting the interplay between sudden insights (satori) and gradual progress. He also discuss the importance of understanding one’s motivation for meditation and how a clear “why” can sustain long-term practice. The episode encourages listeners to embrace all aspects of themselves and appreciate the journey of personal growth.

Discover a Deeper Path in Meditation – Looking for more than just another meditation app? The Way, created by Zen teacher Henry Shukman, offers a single, step-by-step journey designed to take you deeper—one session at a time. Get started today with 30 free sessions here: www.oneyoufeed.net/theway

Key Takeaways:
The transformative power of meditation in personal growth.
The balance between effort and acceptance in spiritual practice.
The relationship between sudden insights (satori) and gradual development in meditation.
The importance of understanding one’s motivation and purpose in maintaining a meditation practice.
The role of structure in facilitating spiritual growth and practice.
The significance of embracing all aspects of oneself, including less desirable traits.
The dualities present in spiritual practice, such as self-improvement versus self-acceptance.
The concept of “wu wei” or effortless effort in meditation and life.
The value of recognizing life as a gift, even amidst challenges.
The interplay between various meditation traditions and their contributions to a well-rounded practice

If you enjoyed this conversation with Henry Shukman, check out these other episodes:

How to Embrace Original Love on the Path to Awakening with Henry Shukman

How to Find and Follow a Healing Path with Henry Shukman

Effortless Mindfulness with Loch Kelly

For full show notes, click here!

Connect with the show:
Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify
Follow us on Instagram

In this episode, Henry Shukman discusses how to embrace the chaos and find clarity through meditation while exploring themes of self-development and self-love. Henry emphasizes the balance between effort and acceptance in spiritual practice, highlighting the interplay between sudden insights (satori) and gradual progress. He also discuss the importance of understanding one&rsquo;s motivation for meditation and how a clear &ldquo;why&rdquo; can sustain long-term practice. The episode encourages listeners to embrace all aspects of themselves and appreciate the journey of personal growth.
Discover a Deeper Path in Meditation &ndash; Looking for more than just another meditation app?&nbsp;<a href="https://www.thewayapp.com/oneyoufeed">The Way</a>, created by Zen teacher Henry Shukman, offers a single, step-by-step journey designed to take you deeper&mdash;one session at a time. Get started today with 30 free sessions here:&nbsp;<a href="https://www.thewayapp.com/oneyoufeed">www.oneyoufeed.net/theway</a>
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>The transformative power of meditation in personal growth.</li>
<li>The balance between effort and acceptance in spiritual practice.</li>
<li>The relationship between sudden insights (satori) and gradual development in meditation.</li>
<li>The importance of understanding one&rsquo;s motivation and purpose in maintaining a meditation practice.</li>
<li>The role of structure in facilitating spiritual growth and practice.</li>
<li>The significance of embracing all aspects of oneself, including less desirable traits.</li>
<li>The dualities present in spiritual practice, such as self-improvement versus self-acceptance.</li>
<li>The concept of &ldquo;wu wei&rdquo; or effortless effort in meditation and life.</li>
<li>The value of recognizing life as a gift, even amidst challenges.</li>
<li>The interplay between various meditation traditions and their contributions to a well-rounded practice</li>
</ul>
If you enjoyed this conversation with Henry Shukman, check out these other episodes:
<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/how-to-tap-into-the-longings-of-the-heart/"></a><a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/how-to-embrace-original-love-on-the-path-to-awakening/"></a><a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/how-to-embrace-original-love-on-the-path-to-awakening/">How to Embrace Original Love on the Path to Awakening with Henry Shukman</a>
<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/how-to-find-and-follow-a-healing-path/">How to Find and Follow a Healing Path with Henry Shukman</a>
<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/effortless-mindfulness/">Effortless Mindfulness with Loch Kelly</a>
For full show notes,<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/embrace-the-chaos-finding-clarity-through-meditation/">&nbsp;click here</a>!
Connect with the show:
<ul>
<li>Follow us on YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@TheOneYouFeedPod">@TheOneYouFeedPod</a></li>
<li>Subscribe on <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/ms/podcast/the-one-you-feed/id792555885">Apple Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/4byxEuJGV8xnxlgoqHQxxs">Spotify</a></li>
<li>Follow us on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/one_you_feed/">Instagram</a></li>
</ul>

Embrace the Chaos: Finding Clarity Through Meditation with Henry Shukman (Part 1)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/708d8dea-98fb-414b-b3aa-b2f00122d6e5/transcript

In this episode, Ryan Holiday explores navigating fear and hope and the everyday courage that shapes our lives. He unpacks how to confront our fears and how we need to do so, over and over. With great stories and insights, we are reminded that we don’t have to be fearless, we just have to begin.

Key Takeaways:
The concept of courage and its significance in everyday life.
The relationship between courage and fear, including how to confront fears.
The importance of personal agency and making choices that shape our lives.
The role of vulnerability in fostering connection and understanding.
Historical and contemporary examples of courage and heroism.
The four cardinal virtues: courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom.
The idea that courage is not just for heroes but is present in daily decisions.
The impact of sharing struggles and experiences on personal and collective healing.
The notion that hope requires courage, especially in the face of adversity.
The importance of taking action and making decisions to overcome analysis paralysis.

If you enjoyed this conversation with Ryan Holiday, check out these other episodes:

Why Community and Courage Matter More Than Ever with Laura McKowen

How to Overcome Cynicism and Embrace Hope with Jamil Zaki

For full show notes, click here!

Connect with the show:
Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify
Follow us on Instagram

 

In this episode, Ryan Holiday explores navigating fear and hope and the everyday courage that shapes our lives. He unpacks how to confront our fears and how we need to do so, over and over. With great stories and insights, we are reminded that we don&rsquo;t have to be fearless, we just have to begin.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>The concept of courage and its significance in everyday life.</li>
<li>The relationship between courage and fear, including how to confront fears.</li>
<li>The importance of personal agency and making choices that shape our lives.</li>
<li>The role of vulnerability in fostering connection and understanding.</li>
<li>Historical and contemporary examples of courage and heroism.</li>
<li>The four cardinal virtues: courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom.</li>
<li>The idea that courage is not just for heroes but is present in daily decisions.</li>
<li>The impact of sharing struggles and experiences on personal and collective healing.</li>
<li>The notion that hope requires courage, especially in the face of adversity.</li>
<li>The importance of taking action and making decisions to overcome analysis paralysis.</li>
</ul>
If you enjoyed this conversation with Ryan Holiday, check out these other episodes:
<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/why-community-and-courage-matter/">Why Community and Courage Matter More Than Ever with Laura McKowen</a>
<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/how-to-find-zest-in-life/"></a><a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/how-to-overcome-cynicism-and-embrace-hope/">How to Overcome Cynicism and Embrace Hope with Jamil Zaki</a>
For full show notes,<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/navigating-fear-and-hope/">&nbsp;click here</a>!
Connect with the show:
<ul>
<li>Follow us on YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@TheOneYouFeedPod">@TheOneYouFeedPod</a></li>
<li>Subscribe on <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/ms/podcast/the-one-you-feed/id792555885">Apple Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/4byxEuJGV8xnxlgoqHQxxs">Spotify</a></li>
<li>Follow us on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/one_you_feed/">Instagram</a></li>
</ul>
&nbsp;

Navigating Fear and Hope: the Everyday Courage That Shapes Our Lives with Ryan Holiday

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/6b5a2cdc-88f7-4024-b30d-b2e901484b36/transcript

In this episode, Debbie Millman explores how we can use failure as fertilizer and learn to bloom again. Debbie's book and this conversation is about more than just gardening tips or tools, it's about what happens when we let ourselves be bad at something, especially later in life. Debbie opens up about learning to grow and why failure might be the richest soil we have. Whether you've ever felt stuck, afraid to try, or unsure if it's too late to start.

Key Takeaways:
Personal growth and development through gardening
Lessons learned from failure and embracing new experiences
The metaphor of gardening as a reflection of personal growth
The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on personal endeavors
The importance of understanding circumstances that affect growth
The balance between effort and environmental conditions in achieving success
The significance of being a beginner and confronting fears later in life
The role of external support and accountability in personal challenges
The interplay between creativity, self-worth, and professional obligations
The connection between nature, personal experiences, and emotional well-being

If you enjoyed this conversation with Debbie Millman, check out these other episodes:

Fluke or Fate? Embracing Uncertainty to Live a Fuller Life with Brian Klaas

How to Find Zest in Life with Dr. John Kaag

For full show notes, click here!

Connect with the show:
Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod
Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify
Follow us on Instagram

In this episode, Debbie Millman explores how we can use failure as fertilizer and learn to bloom again. Debbie's book and this conversation is about more than just gardening tips or tools, it's about what happens when we let ourselves be bad at something, especially later in life. Debbie opens up about learning to grow and why failure might be the richest soil we have. Whether you've ever felt stuck, afraid to try, or unsure if it's too late to start.
Key Takeaways:
<ul>
<li>Personal growth and development through gardening</li>
<li>Lessons learned from failure and embracing new experiences</li>
<li>The metaphor of gardening as a reflection of personal growth</li>
<li>The impact of the COVID-19 pandemic on personal endeavors</li>
<li>The importance of understanding circumstances that affect growth</li>
<li>The balance between effort and environmental conditions in achieving success</li>
<li>The significance of being a beginner and confronting fears later in life</li>
<li>The role of external support and accountability in personal challenges</li>
<li>The interplay between creativity, self-worth, and professional obligations</li>
<li>The connection between nature, personal experiences, and emotional well-being</li>
</ul>
If you enjoyed this conversation with Debbie Millman, check out these other episodes:
<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/fluke-or-fate/">Fluke or Fate? Embracing Uncertainty to Live a Fuller Life with Brian Klaas</a>
<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/how-to-find-zest-in-life/">How to Find Zest in Life with Dr. John Kaag</a>
For full show notes,<a href="https://www.oneyoufeed.net/failure-as-fertilizer/">&nbsp;click here</a>!
Connect with the show:
<ul>
<li>Follow us on YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@TheOneYouFeedPod">@TheOneYouFeedPod</a></li>
<li>Subscribe on <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/ms/podcast/the-one-you-feed/id792555885">Apple Podcasts</a> or <a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/4byxEuJGV8xnxlgoqHQxxs">Spotify</a></li>
<li>Follow us on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/one_you_feed/">Instagram</a></li>
</ul>

Failure as Fertilizer: Learning to Bloom Again with Debbie Millman

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/e73c998e-6e60-432f-8610-ae210140c5b1/clips/cf26b5cc-7326-49f7-a430-b2e9015450d7/transcript

The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism: Why You Never Feel Good Enough with Ellen Hendriksen

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