I really can't trust my brain to give me the right answer to how much progress have I made?

I really can't trust my brain to give me the right answer to how much progress have I made?

And is it worth the effort that I've invested.

And is it worth the effort that I've invested.

Welcome to the one you feed Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think ring true, and yet for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.

Welcome to the one you feed Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have. Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think ring true, and yet for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity, self pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right direction, how they feed their good wolf.

Thanks for joining us. Our guest on this episode is Emily balcettis and associate professor of psychology at New York University. She's the author of more than seventy scientific publications, and her work has been covered in Forbes, newsweek Time, National Public Radio, Cosmopolitan, GQ, and many others. She's also received numerous awards for her work. Today, Emily and Eric discuss her new book, Clearer, Closer Better, How Successful People See the World.

Thanks for joining us. Our guest on this episode is Emily balcettis and associate professor of psychology at New York University. She's the author of more than seventy scientific publications, and her work has been covered in Forbes, newsweek Time, National Public Radio, Cosmopolitan, GQ, and many others. She's also received numerous awards for her work. Today, Emily and Eric discuss her new book, Clearer, Closer Better, How Successful People See the World.

Hi, Emily, Welcome to the show.

Hi, Emily, Welcome to the show.

Hi, great to be here.

Hi, great to be here.

We are going to talk about your book that's called Clearer, Closer Better, How Successful People See the World. But before we do that, let's start like we always do, with the Parable. And in the Parable, there is a grandmother who's talking with her grandson and she says, in love, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness, bravery, and love, and there's a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandson stops and thinks about it for a second. He looks up at his grandmother and he says, well, grandmother, which one wins? And the grandmother says, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do.

We are going to talk about your book that's called Clearer, Closer Better, How Successful People See the World. But before we do that, let's start like we always do, with the Parable. And in the Parable, there is a grandmother who's talking with her grandson and she says, in love, there are two wolves inside of us that are always at battle. One is a good wolf, which represents things like kindness, bravery, and love, and there's a bad wolf, which represents things like greed and hatred and fear. And the grandson stops and thinks about it for a second. He looks up at his grandmother and he says, well, grandmother, which one wins? And the grandmother says, the one you feed. So I'd like to start off by asking you what that parable means to you in your life and in the work that you do.

I think you know that parable conveys the real power that we as people have to shape what our experience on it every day, every year, every life scale or timeframe that where we invest our energy is a lot driven by us, and then we can see.

I think you know that parable conveys the real power that we as people have to shape what our experience on it every day, every year, every life scale or timeframe that where we invest our energy is a lot driven by us, and then we can see.

The fruits of those labors.

The fruits of those labors.

But as a psychologist, I also recognize that, you know, besides having choice about what we feed, about where we spend our time, what we focus on, that our brain also has a default, and that is to prioritiz ties or give more weight to the negative experiences that.

But as a psychologist, I also recognize that, you know, besides having choice about what we feed, about where we spend our time, what we focus on, that our brain also has a default, and that is to prioritiz ties or give more weight to the negative experiences that.

Those loom larger in our mind.

Those loom larger in our mind.

Even if we don't feel like we're a ruminator or have depressive ideologies, our brain sort of does. Our brain goes there and we hold on to those feelings. So as we're thinking about what we feed, we need to also be cognizant of the fact that it might take more effort or investment to feed the good and to cultivate into nurture that wolf in our personality, and it might take more work, and it doesn't mean that it's unsuccessful or that there's something wrong with us.

Even if we don't feel like we're a ruminator or have depressive ideologies, our brain sort of does. Our brain goes there and we hold on to those feelings. So as we're thinking about what we feed, we need to also be cognizant of the fact that it might take more effort or investment to feed the good and to cultivate into nurture that wolf in our personality, and it might take more work, and it doesn't mean that it's unsuccessful or that there's something wrong with us.

That's just the way our brains work.

That's just the way our brains work.

I love that framing of it, and it's sort of the idea of knowing the inclination of our brain and not everybody's is the same. But as you say, most people are going to have a negative inclination. But this applies to anything. Knowing the inclination, the direction we tend to go does give us some sense of what way we need to correct for sort of more bit exactly.

I love that framing of it, and it's sort of the idea of knowing the inclination of our brain and not everybody's is the same. But as you say, most people are going to have a negative inclination. But this applies to anything. Knowing the inclination, the direction we tend to go does give us some sense of what way we need to correct for sort of more bit exactly.

I mean, if you are interested in talking about evolutionary pressures, you know it's important for us to find food, find opportunity, find love, find safety, and those are pressing concerns. But some might argue that it's even more pressing that we keep ourselves safe.

I mean, if you are interested in talking about evolutionary pressures, you know it's important for us to find food, find opportunity, find love, find safety, and those are pressing concerns. But some might argue that it's even more pressing that we keep ourselves safe.

If we miss seeing.

If we miss seeing.

The tiger that's coming at us back in Caveman cave Lady days, you know, death was probably imminent. We might argue, like evolutionarily speaking, that our attention to, our focus on and our concern for things that might cause us harm or mistakes that we've made in the past, so that we can avoid making them in the future to keep ourselves safe. That might be the basis for what we're calling this negativity dominance. That doesn't mean that we are depressed or that we have clinical symptoms. It might just sort of be a hold over from what requires more attention. But also that doesn't mean that that's a limitation or that that's just how it needs to be.

The tiger that's coming at us back in Caveman cave Lady days, you know, death was probably imminent. We might argue, like evolutionarily speaking, that our attention to, our focus on and our concern for things that might cause us harm or mistakes that we've made in the past, so that we can avoid making them in the future to keep ourselves safe. That might be the basis for what we're calling this negativity dominance. That doesn't mean that we are depressed or that we have clinical symptoms. It might just sort of be a hold over from what requires more attention. But also that doesn't mean that that's a limitation or that that's just how it needs to be.

It's just something we need to be aware of so that we can.

It's just something we need to be aware of so that we can.

Focus our efforts on cultivating and feeding the positive and light of what might have been these pressures that we've experienced in the past.

Focus our efforts on cultivating and feeding the positive and light of what might have been these pressures that we've experienced in the past.

Yeah, I love the way you say that.

Yeah, I love the way you say that.

It is one of the things I like about the parable, beyond its obvious implications of choice, is it says everybody has this in them, which I think normalizes sort of what you're saying the fact, like, yeah, of course you've got some of these quote unquote negative tendencies, right, Yeah, they're there, welcome to the human race, right exactly. So let's move in and talk about your book, which really talks about the way we see the world has a lot to do with how successfully we navigate it. And in the book you frame this entire discussion up in a way that I, as a musician, love, which is about you learning to play the drums. So maybe first to share a little bit about why you wanted to learn to play the drums. Share a little bit about that, and then I think it'll help us as we put each of your four strategies into context. We can put them in context around that at least as starting point.

It is one of the things I like about the parable, beyond its obvious implications of choice, is it says everybody has this in them, which I think normalizes sort of what you're saying the fact, like, yeah, of course you've got some of these quote unquote negative tendencies, right, Yeah, they're there, welcome to the human race, right exactly. So let's move in and talk about your book, which really talks about the way we see the world has a lot to do with how successfully we navigate it. And in the book you frame this entire discussion up in a way that I, as a musician, love, which is about you learning to play the drums. So maybe first to share a little bit about why you wanted to learn to play the drums. Share a little bit about that, and then I think it'll help us as we put each of your four strategies into context. We can put them in context around that at least as starting point.

Sure, you know, I think a lot of people can resonate with this. At maybe some point in their life they thought, you know what, I want to be a rock star, Like that looks like a really great life. And I went through that phase as well. I went through that phase when I was in my late teen years. I was playing in a band. It was a cover band. It was loads of fun. We had the opportunity to play with a group that was coming through that actually was quite successful, and we played this show for fifteen thousand people at this outdoor, you.

Sure, you know, I think a lot of people can resonate with this. At maybe some point in their life they thought, you know what, I want to be a rock star, Like that looks like a really great life. And I went through that phase as well. I went through that phase when I was in my late teen years. I was playing in a band. It was a cover band. It was loads of fun. We had the opportunity to play with a group that was coming through that actually was quite successful, and we played this show for fifteen thousand people at this outdoor, you.

Know, rock venue. It was amazing, It was really exciting.

Know, rock venue. It was amazing, It was really exciting.

But that at eighteen years old, was the peak of my rock star career and it was all downhill.

But that at eighteen years old, was the peak of my rock star career and it was all downhill.

After that, which is probably good. You know.

After that, which is probably good. You know.

I don't think my stomach could have tolerated the drugs, and like certainly my body wouldn't have put up with all of the late nights, So it's probably healthier that I peaked at eighteen.

I don't think my stomach could have tolerated the drugs, and like certainly my body wouldn't have put up with all of the late nights, So it's probably healthier that I peaked at eighteen.

But I loved it. I have always been involved in music.

But I loved it. I have always been involved in music.

That's all part of our family, that's part you know, my growing up, and in fact, that's what I went to study in college, was to study music performance.

That's all part of our family, that's part you know, my growing up, and in fact, that's what I went to study in college, was to study music performance.

So that has always been a love of mine.

So that has always been a love of mine.

My career is as a basic experimental motivation scientist. I do behavioral research trying to understand the reasons that people do what they do and think what they think, and how can we help take advantage of opportunities to help them have and shape the kind of life that they want. So when I found myself at a point in life where life was really changing for me, I had the opportunity to write this book the very.

My career is as a basic experimental motivation scientist. I do behavioral research trying to understand the reasons that people do what they do and think what they think, and how can we help take advantage of opportunities to help them have and shape the kind of life that they want. So when I found myself at a point in life where life was really changing for me, I had the opportunity to write this book the very.

Same month that my first son was born.

Same month that my first son was born.

I just felt like, here's all these incredible opportunities to try on something new, but I'm losing myself in this. Becoming a new mother, you know, really took away what I thought had been cool.

I just felt like, here's all these incredible opportunities to try on something new, but I'm losing myself in this. Becoming a new mother, you know, really took away what I thought had been cool.

About me in the past.

About me in the past.

That people were coming to visit and saying, Oh, let to meet this new baby.

That people were coming to visit and saying, Oh, let to meet this new baby.

What's going on?

What's going on?

And all I had to talk about was like, you know, diapers and formula and what happened to me.

And all I had to talk about was like, you know, diapers and formula and what happened to me.

I used to be interesting. I wanted to be a rock star. Where did that go?

I used to be interesting. I wanted to be a rock star. Where did that go?

So I was conscientiously at that point in my life trying to choose carve out more time for myself and to bring back what I felt like was a really important part of who I was. I needed that artistics. I had to come through, I needed some more time for myself, so I decided to become a drummer. I had played saxophone and flute piano, so drums was still an instrument, but definitely a different skill set than I had tackled before. And so it was a challenge that I was excited to take on. Plus, being able to play drums is cool, well at least I think so.

So I was conscientiously at that point in my life trying to choose carve out more time for myself and to bring back what I felt like was a really important part of who I was. I needed that artistics. I had to come through, I needed some more time for myself, so I decided to become a drummer. I had played saxophone and flute piano, so drums was still an instrument, but definitely a different skill set than I had tackled before. And so it was a challenge that I was excited to take on. Plus, being able to play drums is cool, well at least I think so.

Yeah, And the world needs more drummers. It does not need more guitar players like me. There's plenty of us. There are not enough drummers.

Yeah, And the world needs more drummers. It does not need more guitar players like me. There's plenty of us. There are not enough drummers.

Well, you know, even if I had gotten there, they wouldn't the world wouldn't have benefited from my drumming skills. Again, this is like a personal conquest that I wanted.

Well, you know, even if I had gotten there, they wouldn't the world wouldn't have benefited from my drumming skills. Again, this is like a personal conquest that I wanted.

Yeah, you know, so that's what I took on. You know, my son is a month old.

Yeah, you know, so that's what I took on. You know, my son is a month old.

We lived in a one bedroom apartment in New York City that's smaller than most people's garages. And that's when I thought, like, you know what, we need to bring drums into this situation. That's what's going to help our life right now. So, you know, maybe an ill placed goal, but one that I took on. And the book as we're going to talk about is all about strategies that people can use to manage the obstacles that they face when they're trying to meet their goals. So I became well aware of what those challenges are when you're taking on a new goal, something that's personally important, but on top of an already busy, full life with multiple responsibilities to manage. So the story really is about me trying to apply these tactics that behavioral science that I am conducting and that others are doing.

We lived in a one bedroom apartment in New York City that's smaller than most people's garages. And that's when I thought, like, you know what, we need to bring drums into this situation. That's what's going to help our life right now. So, you know, maybe an ill placed goal, but one that I took on. And the book as we're going to talk about is all about strategies that people can use to manage the obstacles that they face when they're trying to meet their goals. So I became well aware of what those challenges are when you're taking on a new goal, something that's personally important, but on top of an already busy, full life with multiple responsibilities to manage. So the story really is about me trying to apply these tactics that behavioral science that I am conducting and that others are doing.

Would say, would work, should work? Try this?

Would say, would work, should work? Try this?

And I tested it out myself as I was trying to take on this personal goal of becoming a one hit wonder, learning one song on drums well enough that it could play it publicly and not embarrass myself.

And I tested it out myself as I was trying to take on this personal goal of becoming a one hit wonder, learning one song on drums well enough that it could play it publicly and not embarrass myself.

Yeah, you and I were talking before we started about how sort of different our pursuit of an instrument is. Like you were like, I'm going to play this one song and you got it exactly right, and I'm more of a eh, you know, good enough kind of guy. You know. The reason that is is when I started, all I wanted to do was write songs. And in order to write a song, all I needed to do was learn enough of what was happening in this other song that I could then take it and incorporate. So it built this habit. And more recently I've been trying to sort of do a little bit more of what you do, which is sort of pushed through to try and you know, can I get it really right? Anyways, let's now turn towards your four strategies that you really outline in the book. Maybe we'll start by just listing what the four of them are and then we'll walk through them each in more depth.

Yeah, you and I were talking before we started about how sort of different our pursuit of an instrument is. Like you were like, I'm going to play this one song and you got it exactly right, and I'm more of a eh, you know, good enough kind of guy. You know. The reason that is is when I started, all I wanted to do was write songs. And in order to write a song, all I needed to do was learn enough of what was happening in this other song that I could then take it and incorporate. So it built this habit. And more recently I've been trying to sort of do a little bit more of what you do, which is sort of pushed through to try and you know, can I get it really right? Anyways, let's now turn towards your four strategies that you really outline in the book. Maybe we'll start by just listing what the four of them are and then we'll walk through them each in more depth.

Does that work?

Does that work?

Yeah? Sure?

Yeah? Sure?

Number one materializing taking something that's abstract, maybe just in your mind, and making it visual, concrete and right in front of you. A second one is narrow frame, so narrowing our focus of attention, trying to keep out the distractions void, what's in our peripheral vision. And in contrast to that, then there's the wide bracket, when do we need to assume a more expansive focus of attention. They seem like they might be in opposition to one another, but again they're just.

Number one materializing taking something that's abstract, maybe just in your mind, and making it visual, concrete and right in front of you. A second one is narrow frame, so narrowing our focus of attention, trying to keep out the distractions void, what's in our peripheral vision. And in contrast to that, then there's the wide bracket, when do we need to assume a more expansive focus of attention. They seem like they might be in opposition to one another, but again they're just.

Like two tools in a toolbox.

Like two tools in a toolbox.

Yes they might work in different ways, but you need a different tool for each aspect of the job.

Yes they might work in different ways, but you need a different tool for each aspect of the job.

And framing.

And framing.

And number four. Thank you.

And number four. Thank you.

I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on my drumming. I'm pulling up my drumming story. Framing taking advantage of the fact that we can direct our eyes in one way or another, and what we point our eyes at frames up a different element of our environment, and that is a really powerful tool as well, because what we see predicts what we do.

I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on my drumming. I'm pulling up my drumming story. Framing taking advantage of the fact that we can direct our eyes in one way or another, and what we point our eyes at frames up a different element of our environment, and that is a really powerful tool as well, because what we see predicts what we do.

One of the things I loved about the book I love these four tools. I also love how you sort of emphasize, you know, we've got studies that show these tools work, and these tools are situation. They're going to depend on your situation. They're going to depend on who you are. Sometimes you might need one of them, sometimes you might need another. But you're sort of doing away with that over simplicity of like, here's three simple hacks to crush your life, right, Like, that's not what you've got here exactly.

One of the things I loved about the book I love these four tools. I also love how you sort of emphasize, you know, we've got studies that show these tools work, and these tools are situation. They're going to depend on your situation. They're going to depend on who you are. Sometimes you might need one of them, sometimes you might need another. But you're sort of doing away with that over simplicity of like, here's three simple hacks to crush your life, right, Like, that's not what you've got here exactly.

I mean, the metaphor of that toolbox is one that I do keep coming back to. You know, if you only had a toolbox full of hammers, I mean, that might be great if all you needed to do is pound in nails.

I mean, the metaphor of that toolbox is one that I do keep coming back to. You know, if you only had a toolbox full of hammers, I mean, that might be great if all you needed to do is pound in nails.

But that's not what life is really like, right.

But that's not what life is really like, right.

The different challenges that are up against and the opportunities that we have are different, and so we need different tools. Coupled with that, we are people. We are evolving as a species, but as a person ourselves, right, we're growing, We're changing and what worked a year ago might not work today, it might not work during a different phase of life, and so we need that flexibility that a full toolkit can offer us, the opportunity to change out, you know, one instrument for another when the job and the needs change.

The different challenges that are up against and the opportunities that we have are different, and so we need different tools. Coupled with that, we are people. We are evolving as a species, but as a person ourselves, right, we're growing, We're changing and what worked a year ago might not work today, it might not work during a different phase of life, and so we need that flexibility that a full toolkit can offer us, the opportunity to change out, you know, one instrument for another when the job and the needs change.

Totally agree.

Totally agree.

So let's talk now about the material a goal. You say, understand how to materialize a goal our steps or our efforts improves the way we track our progress. Which is a nice sentence that sort of summarizes everything you cover in that chapter. It's kind of in one sentence. That's pretty good. But let's talk about what are some of the things we want to do as we think about materializing a goal. This is particularly great this time of year because a lot of people are going to start thinking about, okay, twenty twenty two is coming, how might I want to be different? And they're going to start to materialize a goal. So what are some things we need to know in that and how did you do that with your drumming.

So let's talk now about the material a goal. You say, understand how to materialize a goal our steps or our efforts improves the way we track our progress. Which is a nice sentence that sort of summarizes everything you cover in that chapter. It's kind of in one sentence. That's pretty good. But let's talk about what are some of the things we want to do as we think about materializing a goal. This is particularly great this time of year because a lot of people are going to start thinking about, okay, twenty twenty two is coming, how might I want to be different? And they're going to start to materialize a goal. So what are some things we need to know in that and how did you do that with your drumming.

Well, you know, this sort of comes back to the conversation that we opened with about the parable and how our brain is an amazing.

Well, you know, this sort of comes back to the conversation that we opened with about the parable and how our brain is an amazing.

Organ that we have at our disposal, but it also causes us problems.

Organ that we have at our disposal, but it also causes us problems.

Our brain is faulty, it is powerful, it's more powerful than computers certainly are now but maybe ever will be.

Our brain is faulty, it is powerful, it's more powerful than computers certainly are now but maybe ever will be.

But yet there's these inherent biases.

But yet there's these inherent biases.

In the way that our brain and our memories work that can do us a real disservice when we're trying to monitor ours. For example, So if we were just to leave it to our own memory and look back on let's say it's March and we set a new Year's resolution in January and we're trying to think, how far have I come?

In the way that our brain and our memories work that can do us a real disservice when we're trying to monitor ours. For example, So if we were just to leave it to our own memory and look back on let's say it's March and we set a new Year's resolution in January and we're trying to think, how far have I come?

Am I making progress?

Am I making progress?

Is the amount of effort that I've put in commensurate with output that I'm getting the change that I'm seeing. And so many people give up a month in, a month and a half in and throw away their efforts that they have invested into a new year's resolution or I mean January first, or any time that you set.

Is the amount of effort that I've put in commensurate with output that I'm getting the change that I'm seeing. And so many people give up a month in, a month and a half in and throw away their efforts that they have invested into a new year's resolution or I mean January first, or any time that you set.

A goal that's important, And.

A goal that's important, And.

Oftentimes that's because it just feels like I've tried so hard and I'm getting nowhere, to which I ask, really, have you really gotten nowhere? I know from my own personal experience, when I try to reflect on my drumming or many other goals that I've taken on, I really can't trust my brain to give me the right answer to how much progress have I made and is it worth the effort that I've invested.

Oftentimes that's because it just feels like I've tried so hard and I'm getting nowhere, to which I ask, really, have you really gotten nowhere? I know from my own personal experience, when I try to reflect on my drumming or many other goals that I've taken on, I really can't trust my brain to give me the right answer to how much progress have I made and is it worth the effort that I've invested.

Yeah, our mood shapes that so much. Right, the mood that we're in and can shape our cognitive view of how we're doing.

Yeah, our mood shapes that so much. Right, the mood that we're in and can shape our cognitive view of how we're doing.

Exactly what we're thinking and feeling right now shapes the information that's available in our brain. So when we're in a good mood, we tend to have happy memories popped to mind, and when we're in a bad mood, that's where that sort of feeling like we're in a rut or we're in this cycle that we can't get out of.

Exactly what we're thinking and feeling right now shapes the information that's available in our brain. So when we're in a good mood, we tend to have happy memories popped to mind, and when we're in a bad mood, that's where that sort of feeling like we're in a rut or we're in this cycle that we can't get out of.

That's part of where it comes from.

That's part of where it comes from.

Is because you know, one negative experience begets or calls upon another negative memory that we.

Is because you know, one negative experience begets or calls upon another negative memory that we.

Have, and again we give more weight to those.

Have, and again we give more weight to those.

Negative experiences that we've had in the past. So for me, when I was trying to learn to play drums, knowing that I gave myself a date that I was going to perform this concert publicly, and that I was going to write about my experience in this book, and I promised myself I would do it accurately and not misrepresent what really happened.

Negative experiences that we've had in the past. So for me, when I was trying to learn to play drums, knowing that I gave myself a date that I was going to perform this concert publicly, and that I was going to write about my experience in this book, and I promised myself I would do it accurately and not misrepresent what really happened.

I felt a lot of pressure, and I'm not very coordinated.

I felt a lot of pressure, and I'm not very coordinated.

I got kicked out of my basketball team because I lost my footing and ran into somebody who was on my own team, pushed out of bounced when she had the ball, and we lost the game. I never got invited back to play another game after that. So when I'm thinking about can I actually play this song publicly, it just felt like every time I practiced, I wasn't making enough progress to be able to meet that goal. I was so nervous, I was so anxious about this personal conquest that I had set for myself, that all I was really focusing on was what I wasn't getting. I wasn't coming together the coordination problems that I was experiencing. And so then I realized, you know what I've been talking about, I've been writing about materializing.

I got kicked out of my basketball team because I lost my footing and ran into somebody who was on my own team, pushed out of bounced when she had the ball, and we lost the game. I never got invited back to play another game after that. So when I'm thinking about can I actually play this song publicly, it just felt like every time I practiced, I wasn't making enough progress to be able to meet that goal. I was so nervous, I was so anxious about this personal conquest that I had set for myself, that all I was really focusing on was what I wasn't getting. I wasn't coming together the coordination problems that I was experiencing. And so then I realized, you know what I've been talking about, I've been writing about materializing.

I need to do that here.

I need to do that here.

I got a stop relying on my memory to determine whether I'm making sufficient progress to hit my mark a couple months in the future. So I set up an app on my phone to ping me a couple times a day and ask did you practice drums since last time I asked you?

I got a stop relying on my memory to determine whether I'm making sufficient progress to hit my mark a couple months in the future. So I set up an app on my phone to ping me a couple times a day and ask did you practice drums since last time I asked you?

Mostly I told it no.

Mostly I told it no.

But if I said yes, and it would say how did you do? Talk about that experience, and I'd jumped down a few little notes. I did that for a month, and then I downloaded all the data from my phone and thought about, well, what am I going to think in a month.

But if I said yes, and it would say how did you do? Talk about that experience, and I'd jumped down a few little notes. I did that for a month, and then I downloaded all the data from my phone and thought about, well, what am I going to think in a month.

I haven't done very much at all.

I haven't done very much at all.

It's been a really busy time of the semester as an academic professor. My kids had a lot of stuff going on that I've had to manage. I I don't feel like I've done anything this month. But when I actually looked at the data, I had a really different and more accurate understanding of the progress that I made. I actually practiced a lot more than I remembered practicing. Those sessions, you know, tended to be like, you know, fairly mundane. They weren't monumental moments, and that's why they didn't stick in my mind.

It's been a really busy time of the semester as an academic professor. My kids had a lot of stuff going on that I've had to manage. I I don't feel like I've done anything this month. But when I actually looked at the data, I had a really different and more accurate understanding of the progress that I made. I actually practiced a lot more than I remembered practicing. Those sessions, you know, tended to be like, you know, fairly mundane. They weren't monumental moments, and that's why they didn't stick in my mind.

But when I was looking at the words that I used to describe those experiences.

But when I was looking at the words that I used to describe those experiences.

At the beginning of the month, it was things like I cried, I hated it, it was awful.

At the beginning of the month, it was things like I cried, I hated it, it was awful.

By the end of the month, it was like a compliment.

By the end of the month, it was like a compliment.

My husband, who actually is a drummer, said, gave me my first genuine, legitimate compliment, and my own feelings had resonated with that, you know. Leading up to that, I like, I feel I'm getting like a little bit better. My head doesn't feel like it's going to explode today. But these are like, you know, small moments. They're not life changing. I'm not like concert ready yet, and that's why they didn't stick.

My husband, who actually is a drummer, said, gave me my first genuine, legitimate compliment, and my own feelings had resonated with that, you know. Leading up to that, I like, I feel I'm getting like a little bit better. My head doesn't feel like it's going to explode today. But these are like, you know, small moments. They're not life changing. I'm not like concert ready yet, and that's why they didn't stick.

In my memory, which is why it's also important.

In my memory, which is why it's also important.

To write them down so that you can, you know, become a better personal accountant of your own effort, investment, and progress.

To write them down so that you can, you know, become a better personal accountant of your own effort, investment, and progress.

Our minds aren't going to be able to do that for us.

Our minds aren't going to be able to do that for us.

Yeah, I love that idea. I do behavioral coaching work with people, and that is such a big one as people will just be like, I'm not getting anywhere, and I'll be like, well, okay, let's actually look at the data. Let's you know, let's look at your check ins over the last few weeks. Let's see the progress you've made. Let's look at the tone the way you're rating things out of curiosity. What app did you use to do that?

Yeah, I love that idea. I do behavioral coaching work with people, and that is such a big one as people will just be like, I'm not getting anywhere, and I'll be like, well, okay, let's actually look at the data. Let's you know, let's look at your check ins over the last few weeks. Let's see the progress you've made. Let's look at the tone the way you're rating things out of curiosity. What app did you use to do that?

It's called the reporter app. Okay, yeah, I got.

It's called the reporter app. Okay, yeah, I got.

That idea from this really cool collaboration that I came upon.

That idea from this really cool collaboration that I came upon.

These two women who.

These two women who.

Didn't know each other at all before, found one another at a conference for their field. They were like data scientists and I don't know their whole background architects.

Didn't know each other at all before, found one another at a conference for their field. They were like data scientists and I don't know their whole background architects.

I mean they are a.

I mean they are a.

Polymap at each of them that they are like experts in so many areas. They found each other as total strangers, met and decided in that moment that they meant that they were going to commit to each other for fifty two weeks. They were going to each week pick a goal that or pick something that they wanted to track, like what sort of animals do I experience in New York City on a day to day basis? Or how many times do I give or receive compliments?

Polymap at each of them that they are like experts in so many areas. They found each other as total strangers, met and decided in that moment that they meant that they were going to commit to each other for fifty two weeks. They were going to each week pick a goal that or pick something that they wanted to track, like what sort of animals do I experience in New York City on a day to day basis? Or how many times do I give or receive compliments?

And they would just pick these sort of.

And they would just pick these sort of.

Random themes and note every element every time they came upon a compliment, gave or received one, every animal that they saw, and their walks around the city.

Random themes and note every element every time they came upon a compliment, gave or received one, every animal that they saw, and their walks around the city.

And then at the end of the week they would create this amazing.

And then at the end of the week they would create this amazing.

Visual depiction, I mean, really like contemporary art. They would put it on the back of a postcard. One lived in New York, one lived in London, and they'd send the postcards to each other at the end of the week with this very beautiful, like vivid depiction of quantifying whatever data they had been collecting. Again, this sort of low level, daily, everyday stuff that might not stick in your mind unless then they used the Reporter app, unless they were noting it within their phone and then downloading the data to.

Visual depiction, I mean, really like contemporary art. They would put it on the back of a postcard. One lived in New York, one lived in London, and they'd send the postcards to each other at the end of the week with this very beautiful, like vivid depiction of quantifying whatever data they had been collecting. Again, this sort of low level, daily, everyday stuff that might not stick in your mind unless then they used the Reporter app, unless they were noting it within their phone and then downloading the data to.

Look at all of their experiences over the week.

Look at all of their experiences over the week.

And their postcards are just beautiful, And in fact, the Museum of Modern Art in New York City ACQUI them.

And their postcards are just beautiful, And in fact, the Museum of Modern Art in New York City ACQUI them.

All purchased their entire collection.

All purchased their entire collection.

And it's a part of their permanent exhibits now at the museum. So they were the ones who told me about the Reporter app for how to keep track of daily experiences.

And it's a part of their permanent exhibits now at the museum. So they were the ones who told me about the Reporter app for how to keep track of daily experiences.

That's awesome. Yeah, I loved that story in the book. It is such such a great story. So we're talking about tracking our progress in this way largely exactly.

That's awesome. Yeah, I loved that story in the book. It is such such a great story. So we're talking about tracking our progress in this way largely exactly.

I mean, it's one of the most effective ways for getting an accurate insight into how far you've come and how far you have to go.

I mean, it's one of the most effective ways for getting an accurate insight into how far you've come and how far you have to go.

Now.

Now.

The next question then is like, well, what do we do with that information? So all right, I learned a little bit more on drums than I thought I had done before. And as a behavioral scientist then I know that, well, we have choices.

The next question then is like, well, what do we do with that information? So all right, I learned a little bit more on drums than I thought I had done before. And as a behavioral scientist then I know that, well, we have choices.

As people, we have choices.

As people, we have choices.

What do we do with this data that we have now? And some really cool insights from behavioral scientists work. It's saying, you know, should you reflect back on that progress you've made or should you look at sort of the void. Here's where I am now and here's where I want to go. I am an accurate understanding of where I am, and I know.

What do we do with this data that we have now? And some really cool insights from behavioral scientists work. It's saying, you know, should you reflect back on that progress you've made or should you look at sort of the void. Here's where I am now and here's where I want to go. I am an accurate understanding of where I am, and I know.

What the goal is.

What the goal is.

So should we look to what's to come? Or should we look at what we've accomplished? Where are we going to find more motivation? And it's really interesting because again there's no one right answer, right. It depends on the person, depends on that person's goal there that they're thinking about. And what the research says is that when somebody is really committed to a goal and they've you know, maybe they have invested a lot in it already, this is something that is like, you know, personally central to who they are looking forward is actually more motivating.

So should we look to what's to come? Or should we look at what we've accomplished? Where are we going to find more motivation? And it's really interesting because again there's no one right answer, right. It depends on the person, depends on that person's goal there that they're thinking about. And what the research says is that when somebody is really committed to a goal and they've you know, maybe they have invested a lot in it already, this is something that is like, you know, personally central to who they are looking forward is actually more motivating.

They didn't doubt that they were going to be committed.

They didn't doubt that they were going to be committed.

You know, they don't need to convince themselves that this is something that is worth investing in. They want to close that gap separating where I am now and where it is that I want to be. But people who are new to a goal, or maybe for whom you know, the goal is more extrinsically motivated. It's something you have to do because a boss has set it, or you know, it's not like core to who you are as a person. Then reflecting back on past accomplishments progress to date can be more motivate because in a sense, it's signaling, you know, how much have you put into this thing? Are you really going to give up now? Look at what you've already accomplished. It can give you a sense of self efficacy, of feeling or data to prove you can do this. And then also it's signaling that you must want to do this because look at what you've already done before. And it's hard for people to give up on anything that they have invested in.

You know, they don't need to convince themselves that this is something that is worth investing in. They want to close that gap separating where I am now and where it is that I want to be. But people who are new to a goal, or maybe for whom you know, the goal is more extrinsically motivated. It's something you have to do because a boss has set it, or you know, it's not like core to who you are as a person. Then reflecting back on past accomplishments progress to date can be more motivate because in a sense, it's signaling, you know, how much have you put into this thing? Are you really going to give up now? Look at what you've already accomplished. It can give you a sense of self efficacy, of feeling or data to prove you can do this. And then also it's signaling that you must want to do this because look at what you've already done before. And it's hard for people to give up on anything that they have invested in.

So, you know, that's a.

So, you know, that's a.

Point where we can sort of self reflect think about is this the goal? I'm highly committed to or is it less central to who I am?

Point where we can sort of self reflect think about is this the goal? I'm highly committed to or is it less central to who I am?

And use that as.

And use that as.

Sort of a diagnostic tool to inform whether we should use that accounting experience, that materializing experience to look forward to the future or look back on our past.

Sort of a diagnostic tool to inform whether we should use that accounting experience, that materializing experience to look forward to the future or look back on our past.

I want to pause for a quick good Wolf reminder. This one's about a habit change and a mistake I see people making. And that's really that we don't think about these new habits that we want to add in the context of our entire life. Right, habits don't happen in a vacuum. They have to fit in the life that we have. So when we just keep adding I should do this, I should do that, I should do this, we get discouraged because we haven't really thought about what we're not going to do in order to make that happen. So it's really helpful for you to think about where is this going to fit and what in my life might I need to remove. If you want to step by step guide for how you can easily build new habits that feed your good Wolf, go to good Wolf dot me, slash change and join the free masterclass. Is there any correlation in if I'm looking back to the past for sort of affirmation that I'm doing better, which we might refer to as a positive reinforcement, and I may be stretching this, which is why I'm asking, versus looking towards the gap between where I am and the future, which is a little bit of a potentially negative reinforcer, Or am I stretching making that connection between those things?

I want to pause for a quick good Wolf reminder. This one's about a habit change and a mistake I see people making. And that's really that we don't think about these new habits that we want to add in the context of our entire life. Right, habits don't happen in a vacuum. They have to fit in the life that we have. So when we just keep adding I should do this, I should do that, I should do this, we get discouraged because we haven't really thought about what we're not going to do in order to make that happen. So it's really helpful for you to think about where is this going to fit and what in my life might I need to remove. If you want to step by step guide for how you can easily build new habits that feed your good Wolf, go to good Wolf dot me, slash change and join the free masterclass. Is there any correlation in if I'm looking back to the past for sort of affirmation that I'm doing better, which we might refer to as a positive reinforcement, and I may be stretching this, which is why I'm asking, versus looking towards the gap between where I am and the future, which is a little bit of a potentially negative reinforcer, Or am I stretching making that connection between those things?

Again, as people, we have opportunities to think about it in multiple ways, So some people probably do think about looking to the future as a negative. This unknown this like you know, mounting to do list that separates where I am and where I want to be. But for other people, especially those that are most committed to this thing that they're pursuing, it's like having something hanging over your head. You want to see it come to a close.

Again, as people, we have opportunities to think about it in multiple ways, So some people probably do think about looking to the future as a negative. This unknown this like you know, mounting to do list that separates where I am and where I want to be. But for other people, especially those that are most committed to this thing that they're pursuing, it's like having something hanging over your head. You want to see it come to a close.

You know.

You know.

This is sort of an interesting personality test. I like movies that are really open ended, like indie films, where it's just sort of like the end of the day and you have no idea what happens to the people tomorrow, right, and there's so many possibilities. I love that, and my husband hates it. He needs the closure. He wants the story to get wrapped up. He wants that to be the end of the narrative and doesn't like those open.

This is sort of an interesting personality test. I like movies that are really open ended, like indie films, where it's just sort of like the end of the day and you have no idea what happens to the people tomorrow, right, and there's so many possibilities. I love that, and my husband hates it. He needs the closure. He wants the story to get wrapped up. He wants that to be the end of the narrative and doesn't like those open.

Ended yeah feelings. And of course, you know, we.

Ended yeah feelings. And of course, you know, we.

Can all resonate with with both of those perspectives in different situations. But for a lot of people, looking forward to the future does give you that like pull, that impulse of like, oh, I want to close this gap. I don't like having this just hanging open, having it is an open thread. So, you know, I think again, there's opportunities to think about that either as a positive of like, Okay, it's clear where am I going towards now, where's the gap that I need to close?

Can all resonate with with both of those perspectives in different situations. But for a lot of people, looking forward to the future does give you that like pull, that impulse of like, oh, I want to close this gap. I don't like having this just hanging open, having it is an open thread. So, you know, I think again, there's opportunities to think about that either as a positive of like, Okay, it's clear where am I going towards now, where's the gap that I need to close?

And for other people it may not be seen that way.

And for other people it may not be seen that way.

Yep. And in this section you talk about that it's important to know how to materialize a goal and also how to create a plan.

Yep. And in this section you talk about that it's important to know how to materialize a goal and also how to create a plan.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you know, I think especially when it comes to New Year's resolutions or major milestones in people's life, when they're thinking about, Okay, what do I really want for myself? These moments where we reflect and then set a new, grand, big intention, those are exciting moments in our life, and oftentimes what we do is set an aspirational goal, a stretch goal.

So you know, I think especially when it comes to New Year's resolutions or major milestones in people's life, when they're thinking about, Okay, what do I really want for myself? These moments where we reflect and then set a new, grand, big intention, those are exciting moments in our life, and oftentimes what we do is set an aspirational goal, a stretch goal.

You know, you know, this is.

You know, you know, this is.

Where I want to be with my life like we're talking in like major, big, abstract kind of ways, and that's great to do, but sometimes that's where the goal setting stops. Is that people say, all, right, world, this is what I'm going to make happen. This is what I want for myself. A lot of people at that moment will do things like create dream boards or vision boards for their personal life or their professional life. It's you know, this is like a technique of curating images or motifs and compiling them all into one visual frame.

Where I want to be with my life like we're talking in like major, big, abstract kind of ways, and that's great to do, but sometimes that's where the goal setting stops. Is that people say, all, right, world, this is what I'm going to make happen. This is what I want for myself. A lot of people at that moment will do things like create dream boards or vision boards for their personal life or their professional life. It's you know, this is like a technique of curating images or motifs and compiling them all into one visual frame.

Some for some people like you know, literally a corkboard that they're putting.

Some for some people like you know, literally a corkboard that they're putting.

These images that represent what they want for themselves in one same space. And then the advice is hang this in a place where you'll see it every day to remind you of what it is that you're working for. Again, a very popular technique that people use when they're setting goals, and that is wonderful because figuring out what you want in life can be a big step for a.

These images that represent what they want for themselves in one same space. And then the advice is hang this in a place where you'll see it every day to remind you of what it is that you're working for. Again, a very popular technique that people use when they're setting goals, and that is wonderful because figuring out what you want in life can be a big step for a.

Lot of people, right right, So that is important.

Lot of people, right right, So that is important.

But at the same time, in those same sessions, when we're brainstorming about what it is that I want for myself in the future, we need to add on some other elements to materialize that not just what we want to accomplish, but how we're going to accomplish it. So we need to add on some other steps. We need a dream big like with those vision boards or those dream boards, but we also need to concretely plan for action. We need to think about what can we do today or this week? What behaviors can I engage in? What choices can I make that's going to advance my progress in this area. We need to translate that abstract idea into something concrete, manageable, actionable, visionable, right so that we know which way to step first.

But at the same time, in those same sessions, when we're brainstorming about what it is that I want for myself in the future, we need to add on some other elements to materialize that not just what we want to accomplish, but how we're going to accomplish it. So we need to add on some other steps. We need a dream big like with those vision boards or those dream boards, but we also need to concretely plan for action. We need to think about what can we do today or this week? What behaviors can I engage in? What choices can I make that's going to advance my progress in this area. We need to translate that abstract idea into something concrete, manageable, actionable, visionable, right so that we know which way to step first.

Do I step left or do I step right? We need to do that.

Do I step left or do I step right? We need to do that.

Another thing that we need to do is that we need to foreshadow the obstacles that we might experience along the way, and in fact, we will find more motivation and persistence.

Another thing that we need to do is that we need to foreshadow the obstacles that we might experience along the way, and in fact, we will find more motivation and persistence.

If we do that.

If we do that.

We need to think about what are the challenges I'm going to face as I try to take on this goal and I take a step in this direction. And you might brainstorm a list of three or four possibilities of these things that might sty me or throw you off course, or be the reason that you throw in the towel, and we need to figure out what can we do if we experience those obstacles. Now again, I might seem like, all right, if I'm trying to like psych myself up, I'm really excited about this new thing I'm going to take on in my life, this new passion that I just discovered that I'm committing to.

We need to think about what are the challenges I'm going to face as I try to take on this goal and I take a step in this direction. And you might brainstorm a list of three or four possibilities of these things that might sty me or throw you off course, or be the reason that you throw in the towel, and we need to figure out what can we do if we experience those obstacles. Now again, I might seem like, all right, if I'm trying to like psych myself up, I'm really excited about this new thing I'm going to take on in my life, this new passion that I just discovered that I'm committing to.

I'm really going to do better. I'm going to be more motivated, and I'm going.

I'm really going to do better. I'm going to be more motivated, and I'm going.

To increase the odds of making it if I think about all the ways that I'm going to fail. Really, that's a reaction that I get a lot, And the answer is yes. And it's the same reason that when you get on an airplane, before the plane takes off, you know, the flight attendants are telling you what's going to happen with the oxygen masks and where can you find life jackets? And they do the same thing if you, you know, get to go out on a boat for a boat ride, right, they tell you where you.

To increase the odds of making it if I think about all the ways that I'm going to fail. Really, that's a reaction that I get a lot, And the answer is yes. And it's the same reason that when you get on an airplane, before the plane takes off, you know, the flight attendants are telling you what's going to happen with the oxygen masks and where can you find life jackets? And they do the same thing if you, you know, get to go out on a boat for a boat ride, right, they tell you where you.

Can find the life jackets.

Can find the life jackets.

Now, if you're like, you know, you're just about to go off on this new adventure or on a plane or on a boat.

Now, if you're like, you know, you're just about to go off on this new adventure or on a plane or on a boat.

Or whatever, why do they kill your buzz by.

Or whatever, why do they kill your buzz by.

Doing that right, because if that plane is going down or if that boat is sinking, that's not the time.

Doing that right, because if that plane is going down or if that boat is sinking, that's not the time.

To try to figure out where the life jackets are.

To try to figure out where the life jackets are.

You need to already know so that you can instantly pick up on plan B or Plan C or Plan.

You need to already know so that you can instantly pick up on plan B or Plan C or Plan.

D whatever you foreshadowed.

D whatever you foreshadowed.

Because when we're in those moments of crisis or when we're facing challenges, we're thin on resources.

Because when we're in those moments of crisis or when we're facing challenges, we're thin on resources.

We don't have as much time to.

We don't have as much time to.

Try to like think as creatively as possible and to figure out a solution when we're in the midst of a problem. And so that is why you know, taking that abstract, high level vision for ourselves, planning concretely and foreshadowing those obstacles when people do those steps together to increase the odds that they're actually going to make it to their goal.

Try to like think as creatively as possible and to figure out a solution when we're in the midst of a problem. And so that is why you know, taking that abstract, high level vision for ourselves, planning concretely and foreshadowing those obstacles when people do those steps together to increase the odds that they're actually going to make it to their goal.

Yeah. An analogy that in a slightly different domain is in recovery, right, thinking about what might trigger me and what will I do when I get triggered? You know what is the actual exact thing I will do? It's something I do with clients A lot is like because in that moment, like you said, we're low on resources maybe time, but we may very well be low on cognitive bandwidth exactly.

Yeah. An analogy that in a slightly different domain is in recovery, right, thinking about what might trigger me and what will I do when I get triggered? You know what is the actual exact thing I will do? It's something I do with clients A lot is like because in that moment, like you said, we're low on resources maybe time, but we may very well be low on cognitive bandwidth exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean that's a perfect analogy and a domain that really matters to a lot of people.

I mean that's a perfect analogy and a domain that really matters to a lot of people.

When you're feeling, you know, in urge.

When you're feeling, you know, in urge.

When you're feeling that temptation, right, we can get people in recovery can be fixated on that, right. And so that's not like you are so narrowly focused on just working through or avoiding some coming to this temptation that you know, starting a new friendship with a person and feeling confident enough to get reach out and make a phone call and ask for help, Like that's not.

When you're feeling that temptation, right, we can get people in recovery can be fixated on that, right. And so that's not like you are so narrowly focused on just working through or avoiding some coming to this temptation that you know, starting a new friendship with a person and feeling confident enough to get reach out and make a phone call and ask for help, Like that's not.

Going to happen. Then we don't have that band right, like you're saying, yep, you know.

Going to happen. Then we don't have that band right, like you're saying, yep, you know.

Another great example of this, like you know, the power of foreshadowing obstacles. I love this example of Michael Phelps, which I'm sure you remember from the book, But in two thousand and eight, right he was taking the international stage for the first time by storm in the Beijing Olympics. He you know, is an incredible swimmer, that's what we know him for, and he was on the brink of doing something that nobody has ever done in the history of the entire Olympic Games ever, which is when eight gold medals in a single Olympiad. At the time of this story, he had already won seven. When he was diving into the pool for the two hundred fly, that was like his jam, right, this is what he's known for.

Another great example of this, like you know, the power of foreshadowing obstacles. I love this example of Michael Phelps, which I'm sure you remember from the book, But in two thousand and eight, right he was taking the international stage for the first time by storm in the Beijing Olympics. He you know, is an incredible swimmer, that's what we know him for, and he was on the brink of doing something that nobody has ever done in the history of the entire Olympic Games ever, which is when eight gold medals in a single Olympiad. At the time of this story, he had already won seven. When he was diving into the pool for the two hundred fly, that was like his jam, right, this is what he's known for.

It's almost like he's a shoe in. To win this race in his eighth gold medal.

It's almost like he's a shoe in. To win this race in his eighth gold medal.

All he needs to do is do four lengths of the pool, back and forth, back and forth.

All he needs to do is do four lengths of the pool, back and forth, back and forth.

And the race is over.

And the race is over.

By the time he had done three and just had one length of the pool to return, his goggles had filled with water and he was swimming blind. If that happened to me, I would totally pay I mean, it would never happen. I would never find myself in the Olympics or swimming without dye in a pool. But if it was me, I would have panicked. But he didn't because he had foreshadowed this obstacle routinely.

By the time he had done three and just had one length of the pool to return, his goggles had filled with water and he was swimming blind. If that happened to me, I would totally pay I mean, it would never happen. I would never find myself in the Olympics or swimming without dye in a pool. But if it was me, I would have panicked. But he didn't because he had foreshadowed this obstacle routinely.

In practice.

In practice.

He would rehearse having his goggles not be properly sealed and having them filled with water. Sometimes his coach would even rip them off his face and smash them on the ground just as he dove in, I guess for a dramatic effect. And he would have to practice swimming without goggles. So when it happened in the two thousand and eight Olympics, he knew exactly what he was going to do, which is start counting as strokes because he knew exactly how many strokes it would take from him for him to get from one end of the pool to the other. He did that calmly turned his attention to counting as strokes. He won that two hundred meters fly, won his eighth gold medal, and then would go on to win fifteen more in his career. Yeah. So I think that's a great example of what foreshadowing obstacles can do and what particular circumstances it's most essential.

He would rehearse having his goggles not be properly sealed and having them filled with water. Sometimes his coach would even rip them off his face and smash them on the ground just as he dove in, I guess for a dramatic effect. And he would have to practice swimming without goggles. So when it happened in the two thousand and eight Olympics, he knew exactly what he was going to do, which is start counting as strokes because he knew exactly how many strokes it would take from him for him to get from one end of the pool to the other. He did that calmly turned his attention to counting as strokes. He won that two hundred meters fly, won his eighth gold medal, and then would go on to win fifteen more in his career. Yeah. So I think that's a great example of what foreshadowing obstacles can do and what particular circumstances it's most essential.

That's a great story. Let's move on to narrowing our focus of attention. Why is this valuable and when might we want to do it?

That's a great story. Let's move on to narrowing our focus of attention. Why is this valuable and when might we want to do it?

You know, narrowing our focus of attention the idea, Yeah that like, you know, we can imagine that there's a spotlight shining on just one thing at the expense of what's in our periphery.

You know, narrowing our focus of attention the idea, Yeah that like, you know, we can imagine that there's a spotlight shining on just one thing at the expense of what's in our periphery.

That's a powerful tool.

That's a powerful tool.

Especially when what we're focusing on might seem far off. So I've been doing research in this area for about fifteen years now and we are really focused on exercise. People's exercise goals that they have walking more, running faster, and trying to increase the number of steps that they've taken. And when you tell people like oh, just you know, set a farther goal, just just try going a little bit farther today, see what happens, and then you can up at the next day and up at the next day. That can be really overwhelming for people because literally, when they're looking at the track that they're going around, or the street that they're going to walk down that now they're supposed to walk farther, that destination can look really far off.

Especially when what we're focusing on might seem far off. So I've been doing research in this area for about fifteen years now and we are really focused on exercise. People's exercise goals that they have walking more, running faster, and trying to increase the number of steps that they've taken. And when you tell people like oh, just you know, set a farther goal, just just try going a little bit farther today, see what happens, and then you can up at the next day and up at the next day. That can be really overwhelming for people because literally, when they're looking at the track that they're going around, or the street that they're going to walk down that now they're supposed to walk farther, that destination can look really far off.

It looks farther to them. What we have found is that when they.

It looks farther to them. What we have found is that when they.

Have that perceptual experience, when to them they are seeing the world in more extreme ways than other people do. That stop signed, I can't make it there, I can't walk to that building.

Have that perceptual experience, when to them they are seeing the world in more extreme ways than other people do. That stop signed, I can't make it there, I can't walk to that building.

That's too far away.

That's too far away.

It affects their psychological experience, right, they stop believing that they can do it, They think the task is too challenging, and they throw in the towel sooner. So there is a direct connection between that visual experience and their motivational and psychological readiness to excel.

It affects their psychological experience, right, they stop believing that they can do it, They think the task is too challenging, and they throw in the towel sooner. So there is a direct connection between that visual experience and their motivational and psychological readiness to excel.

At that particular task.

At that particular task.

So we were trying to figure out, Okay, if that visual experience is sort of the initiator of the problem.

So we were trying to figure out, Okay, if that visual experience is sort of the initiator of the problem.

Can we trick people?

Can we trick people?

Can we trick their visual experiences into seeing the world in a way that is going to energize them, that is going to give them the belief that they can do this, and will that have consequences for how much they actually exercise. So we came up with these instructions that are very simple. They literally cost nothing. It's just about changing what you do with your eyes. And like I said, we would tell people just imagine that there's a spotlight shining on that stop sign up ahead, or that building that you're hoping that you can walk to, or the other end of the park that you've never quite made it to yet. Imagine a spotlight shining just on that location and focus your gaze there. Don't pay attention to the people on the sides or the buildings over on the right or the left. Just focus your attention, narrow your focus. What we found is that when they do that, it induces a visual illusion of proximity. When we have them estimate the distance, tell us how far away, does that goal feel They're saying it feels closer, and they don't realize it. They don't realize that that narrowed focus has created this sort of perceptual trick for them. But when we look to see them, well, what happens if we've induced this visual illusion by changing the way that people are looking by not paying attention to the distractions on the side. What we found is that people across many, many studies, thousands of people that we have tested and lots of different contexts, they walk and run faster, they go out for walks more frequently, they take more steps in their day, and they say that it hurts less. The tasks are the same. Right, we're not actually changing anything about what they're doing. We're changing their sideological experience. Now when it seems like it's not so far away, they feel empowered, they feel like they're ready to take on this challenge, and then the experience defies their expectations.