Christchurch GP Dr Caroline Ansley is drawing on her childhood experience in a cult to improve support for people leaving cults and high control groups.

Ansley described how her experience helped shape her work educating health professionals about coercive control and the difficulties survivors face.

She said teachers, doctors, social workers and other professionals had encountered children in the cult without recognising the harm or knowing how to respond. Some children remained there for years longer than they should have.

Having been one of those children, Ansley is now working to help professionals respond more effectively.

She runs a New Zealand network of professionals working to improve understanding and support for people affected by high control groups. Her goal is for those leaving to find practical assistance, compassion and professionals who understand their experiences.

Her path into medicine required persistence. After unsuccessful attempts to gain entry, she completed a degree before securing a place at medical school, four years after first trying.

The ambition began in her teens, after a young woman she knew was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, lost a leg and died aged 16. The experience left Ansley wanting to help others.

She worked in emergency medicine before moving into general practice. Her work has since included mental health, sexual assault care and supporting people with severe psychological injuries.

Ansley said high control groups can undermine people’s trust in their own judgement while creating dependency and fear of the outside world. For those raised within them, leaving can mean losing their family, community and everything familiar.

Finding appropriate support afterwards can also be difficult. She described survivors spending repeated therapy sessions explaining their experiences, or moving between therapists in search of someone who understood.

Alongside her professional education work, Ansley helps raise public awareness through the Cult Chat podcast.

Christchurch GP Dr Caroline Ansley is drawing on her childhood experience in a cult to improve support for people leaving cults and high control groups.
Ansley described how her experience helped shape her work educating health professionals about coercive control and the difficulties survivors face.
She said teachers, doctors, social workers and other professionals had encountered children in the cult without recognising the harm or knowing how to respond. Some children remained there for years longer than they should have.
Having been one of those children, Ansley is now working to help professionals respond more effectively.
She runs a New Zealand network of professionals working to improve understanding and support for people affected by high control groups. Her goal is for those leaving to find practical assistance, compassion and professionals who understand their experiences.
Her path into medicine required persistence. After unsuccessful attempts to gain entry, she completed a degree before securing a place at medical school, four years after first trying.
The ambition began in her teens, after a young woman she knew was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, lost a leg and died aged 16. The experience left Ansley wanting to help others.
She worked in emergency medicine before moving into general practice. Her work has since included mental health, sexual assault care and supporting people with severe psychological injuries.
Ansley said high control groups can undermine people’s trust in their own judgement while creating dependency and fear of the outside world. For those raised within them, leaving can mean losing their family, community and everything familiar.
Finding appropriate support afterwards can also be difficult. She described survivors spending repeated therapy sessions explaining their experiences, or moving between therapists in search of someone who understood.
Alongside her professional education work, Ansley helps raise public awareness through the Cult Chat podcast.

Cult experience in childhood drives GP’s work supporting survivors

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/b348de9b-129b-4d31-a756-b4e30073c8ce/transcript

Eating disorders can affect people of any age and background, and families are being urged to trust their instincts and seek help early if something does not seem right.

The issue was discussed with Eating Disorders Association of New Zealand chair Andrea Bonetto.

Bonetto brings both personal and family experience to the issue. She experienced binge eating disorder in her late teens and early 20s, before later supporting her daughter through anorexia nervosa.

She said her daughter’s illness initially appeared as an increased interest in healthy eating and exercise, behaviours many parents might ordinarily see as positive.

However, Bonetto said restrictive eating disorders can become increasingly obsessive, with warning signs including a growing preoccupation with food, calorie counting, changes in diet, excessive exercise or using exercise to compensate for eating.

She said families should take concerns seriously.

“If you think that there’s something that’s not quite right, it’s most likely something not quite right.”

Bonetto said eating disorders were not limited to teenage girls, with the organisation hearing from families concerned about people ranging from young children through to those in their 80s.

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald MacDonald said eating disorders were complex mental illnesses and could have serious physical consequences.

He said families could sometimes become caught in conflict around food, particularly when a person was restricting what they ate, but stressed that eating disorders should not be viewed as a simple choice.

Bonetto said treatment for restrictive eating disorders often required families to play an active role, particularly when a young person was unable to make safe decisions about food for themselves.

She said families also needed support, describing caring for someone with an eating disorder as an exhausting and often lonely experience.

Callers shared their own experiences of serious illness, treatment and recovery, including one man who described a five-year process of rebuilding his relationship with food after being hospitalised at a dangerously low weight.

Bonetto said recovery could take different forms and different lengths of time, but hope remained important.

“Recovery is possible at any time, at any stage.”

Eating disorders can affect people of any age and background, and families are being urged to trust their instincts and seek help early if something does not seem right.
The issue was discussed with Eating Disorders Association of New Zealand chair Andrea Bonetto.
Bonetto brings both personal and family experience to the issue. She experienced binge eating disorder in her late teens and early 20s, before later supporting her daughter through anorexia nervosa.
She said her daughter’s illness initially appeared as an increased interest in healthy eating and exercise, behaviours many parents might ordinarily see as positive.
However, Bonetto said restrictive eating disorders can become increasingly obsessive, with warning signs including a growing preoccupation with food, calorie counting, changes in diet, excessive exercise or using exercise to compensate for eating.
She said families should take concerns seriously.
“If you think that there’s something that’s not quite right, it’s most likely something not quite right.”
Bonetto said eating disorders were not limited to teenage girls, with the organisation hearing from families concerned about people ranging from young children through to those in their 80s.
Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald MacDonald said eating disorders were complex mental illnesses and could have serious physical consequences.
He said families could sometimes become caught in conflict around food, particularly when a person was restricting what they ate, but stressed that eating disorders should not be viewed as a simple choice.
Bonetto said treatment for restrictive eating disorders often required families to play an active role, particularly when a young person was unable to make safe decisions about food for themselves.
She said families also needed support, describing caring for someone with an eating disorder as an exhausting and often lonely experience.
Callers shared their own experiences of serious illness, treatment and recovery, including one man who described a five-year process of rebuilding his relationship with food after being hospitalised at a dangerously low weight.
Bonetto said recovery could take different forms and different lengths of time, but hope remained important.
“Recovery is possible at any time, at any stage.”

Eating Disorders: Recognising the Signs and Finding a Way to Recovery

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/c1f687b7-4589-45c9-9941-b4db003c29b4/transcript

A published author who spent years battling addiction alongside bipolar disorder says learning to accept difficult emotions and ask for help became central to her recovery.

Speaking on The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB, Charlotte Bell described how alcohol became a coping mechanism from a young age as she struggled with pressure, stress and expectations she had placed on herself.

She said she first discovered alcohol at around 12 and quickly associated drinking with relief.

“All that pressure has been released. This is how you’re supposed to feel,” she recalled.

Charlotte said she continued to achieve academically and play sport, using those achievements to convince herself her drinking was under control.

But beneath the surface, her mental health was deteriorating.

She began experiencing extended periods of high energy and intense productivity, followed by long periods of depression. As she got older, those episodes became increasingly severe.

In her 20s, Charlotte was eventually diagnosed with bipolar one after seeking professional help.

She described reaching a point where mania, sleep deprivation and hallucinations had become frightening enough that she was willing to accept whatever treatment might help.

However, the diagnosis did not immediately end her problems with addiction.

Over several years, Charlotte moved in and out of alcohol and drug treatment, detox and respite services before entering residential rehabilitation at 30.

She spent three months in treatment, focusing entirely on recovery and learning how to build a life without drugs and alcohol.

Charlotte said Narcotics Anonymous later became an important source of support, helping her learn to talk about emotions and recognise she could not control everything that happened in her life.

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald told the programme that groups such as NA and Alcoholics Anonymous could also help break down the shame surrounding addiction.

“Shame makes us hide,” he said, explaining that speaking honestly among people with similar experiences could provide a powerful counter to that isolation.

MacDonald said recovery also relied heavily on determination rather than simply feeling motivated.

“Motivation is a feeling that comes and goes,” he said. “We actually just have to be determined.”

Charlotte has since written a book, One Year Out, reflecting on addiction, treatment and the first year of recovery.

Her story highlighted one of the programme’s central messages: recovery is rarely immediate or straightforward, but with honesty, support and persistence, change is possible.

A published author who spent years battling addiction alongside bipolar disorder says learning to accept difficult emotions and ask for help became central to her recovery.
Speaking on The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB, Charlotte Bell described how alcohol became a coping mechanism from a young age as she struggled with pressure, stress and expectations she had placed on herself.
She said she first discovered alcohol at around 12 and quickly associated drinking with relief.
“All that pressure has been released. This is how you’re supposed to feel,” she recalled.
Charlotte said she continued to achieve academically and play sport, using those achievements to convince herself her drinking was under control.
But beneath the surface, her mental health was deteriorating.
She began experiencing extended periods of high energy and intense productivity, followed by long periods of depression. As she got older, those episodes became increasingly severe.
In her 20s, Charlotte was eventually diagnosed with bipolar one after seeking professional help.
She described reaching a point where mania, sleep deprivation and hallucinations had become frightening enough that she was willing to accept whatever treatment might help.
However, the diagnosis did not immediately end her problems with addiction.
Over several years, Charlotte moved in and out of alcohol and drug treatment, detox and respite services before entering residential rehabilitation at 30.
She spent three months in treatment, focusing entirely on recovery and learning how to build a life without drugs and alcohol.
Charlotte said Narcotics Anonymous later became an important source of support, helping her learn to talk about emotions and recognise she could not control everything that happened in her life.
Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald told the programme that groups such as NA and Alcoholics Anonymous could also help break down the shame surrounding addiction.
“Shame makes us hide,” he said, explaining that speaking honestly among people with similar experiences could provide a powerful counter to that isolation.
MacDonald said recovery also relied heavily on determination rather than simply feeling motivated.
“Motivation is a feeling that comes and goes,” he said. “We actually just have to be determined.”
Charlotte has since written a book, One Year Out, reflecting on addiction, treatment and the first year of recovery.
Her story highlighted one of the programme’s central messages: recovery is rarely immediate or straightforward, but with honesty, support and persistence, change is possible.

Bipolar, Addiction and the Power of Support

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/f263e80a-b455-48f4-a30e-b4d4004a75c8/transcript

Artificial intelligence is increasingly becoming a place people turn to for emotional support, but questions remain over whether a chatbot can ever replace genuine human connection.

The issue was explored on The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB, where host Hamish Williams and psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald examined the growing use of AI platforms such as ChatGPT and Google Gemini for mental health support.

MacDonald said emerging research suggested a significant number of adults and young people were already using AI chatbots to discuss emotions, relationships and personal difficulties. One Canadian study involving about 40,000 students found roughly one in five had used AI for help with feelings or relationship advice.

The accessibility of the technology appeared to be part of its appeal.

Unlike counselling or phone-based support services, AI can be available immediately, including late at night or during moments of distress.

The programme put that idea to the test live on air, with Williams speaking directly to an AI chatbot about his disappointment following the Warriors’ finals loss.

The AI responded by acknowledging the disappointment, asking questions about what was upsetting him and later suggesting practical ways to wind down, including stepping away from post-game discussion and doing something calming.

Williams said the exchange sounded remarkably similar to conversations commonly heard on The Nutters Club, while MacDonald acknowledged the chatbot had responded effectively once Williams asked for practical help.

However, MacDonald also warned that feeling supported was not necessarily the same as receiving effective mental health treatment.

He said AI could potentially be useful for simple strategies, such as calming exercises during panic or suggestions for becoming more active when feeling low, but should not be treated as a replacement for therapy, particularly when someone was severely distressed or suicidal.

Listeners offered sharply contrasting experiences.

Some described using AI during grief, panic attacks, workplace distress and loneliness, saying it had provided immediate reassurance and practical suggestions.

Others were deeply uncomfortable with the idea, arguing that a machine without emotions could never reproduce the empathy, physical presence or human connection that comes from talking with another person.

One caller summed up the concern by saying AI could be useful in many situations, but ultimately “it’s not a person”.

The AI itself was given the final word.

Asked what listeners should know about AI and mental health, it said AI was “not a replacement for real help”, but could act as a bridge when someone needed support in the middle of the night.

It added that real human help remained the most important destination.

Artificial intelligence is increasingly becoming a place people turn to for emotional support, but questions remain over whether a chatbot can ever replace genuine human connection.
The issue was explored on The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB, where host Hamish Williams and psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald examined the growing use of AI platforms such as ChatGPT and Google Gemini for mental health support.
MacDonald said emerging research suggested a significant number of adults and young people were already using AI chatbots to discuss emotions, relationships and personal difficulties. One Canadian study involving about 40,000 students found roughly one in five had used AI for help with feelings or relationship advice.
The accessibility of the technology appeared to be part of its appeal.
Unlike counselling or phone-based support services, AI can be available immediately, including late at night or during moments of distress.
The programme put that idea to the test live on air, with Williams speaking directly to an AI chatbot about his disappointment following the Warriors’ finals loss.
The AI responded by acknowledging the disappointment, asking questions about what was upsetting him and later suggesting practical ways to wind down, including stepping away from post-game discussion and doing something calming.
Williams said the exchange sounded remarkably similar to conversations commonly heard on The Nutters Club, while MacDonald acknowledged the chatbot had responded effectively once Williams asked for practical help.
However, MacDonald also warned that feeling supported was not necessarily the same as receiving effective mental health treatment.
He said AI could potentially be useful for simple strategies, such as calming exercises during panic or suggestions for becoming more active when feeling low, but should not be treated as a replacement for therapy, particularly when someone was severely distressed or suicidal.
Listeners offered sharply contrasting experiences.
Some described using AI during grief, panic attacks, workplace distress and loneliness, saying it had provided immediate reassurance and practical suggestions.
Others were deeply uncomfortable with the idea, arguing that a machine without emotions could never reproduce the empathy, physical presence or human connection that comes from talking with another person.
One caller summed up the concern by saying AI could be useful in many situations, but ultimately “it’s not a person”.
The AI itself was given the final word.
Asked what listeners should know about AI and mental health, it said AI was “not a replacement for real help”, but could act as a bridge when someone needed support in the middle of the night.
It added that real human help remained the most important destination.

Can AI Really Help With Our Mental Health?

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/4471d95c-b70d-4b53-a25d-b4d10174f3f5/transcript

A Tokoroa mother who lost her son to suicide earlier this year says she is speaking publicly about her grief in the hope his death can help others struggling with their mental health.

Bridget Coward joined The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB to talk about her son Bradley, who died in April after living with depression and anxiety from his teenage years.

Bridget described Bradley as a cheeky, considerate young man with a passion for heavy metal and drumming.

After finishing high school, he moved to Tauranga to study music, a decision Coward said made her proud despite the difficulty of seeing her son leave home.

Bradley had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 15, and Bridget said she repeatedly tried to connect him with different forms of support.

“The more I encouraged it, the more he pushed back,” she said.

Bridget said Bradley had previously attempted suicide, and the loss of his grandfather, who had been an important male role model in his life, had also deeply affected him.

Since Bradley's death, Bridget said the support of the Tokoroa community had been invaluable.

Friends, colleagues, teachers and others had continued checking in on both her and her daughter, sometimes through something as simple as asking how they were doing.

“It tells me that you're thinking of me,” she said.

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald told the programme there was no fixed timeline for grief and people should not feel pressured to “get over” the death of someone close to them.

“We always carry the person with us,” he said, adding that while the intensity of grief may lessen over time, there is not necessarily a clear endpoint.

Bridget said she was now raising money for mental health awareness and wanted conversations about emotional distress, particularly among men, to become more normal.

“Our men need to know that it's okay to be emotional. It's okay to need to talk,” she said.

Listeners also shared their experiences of depression and grief, discussing the role of counselling, medication, exercise, faith, friendships, pets and music in helping them cope.

Bridget music remained particularly important to her and had helped her through several significant losses.

She ended the programme remembering Bradley for his humour, his smile and his acceptance of others.

“He just took people as they were. He didn't judge.”

For immediate mental health support in New Zealand, people can call or text 1737 at any time.

A Tokoroa mother who lost her son to suicide earlier this year says she is speaking publicly about her grief in the hope his death can help others struggling with their mental health.
Bridget Coward joined The Nutters Club on Newstalk ZB to talk about her son Bradley, who died in April after living with depression and anxiety from his teenage years.
Bridget described Bradley as a cheeky, considerate young man with a passion for heavy metal and drumming.
After finishing high school, he moved to Tauranga to study music, a decision Coward said made her proud despite the difficulty of seeing her son leave home.
Bradley had been diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 15, and Bridget said she repeatedly tried to connect him with different forms of support.
“The more I encouraged it, the more he pushed back,” she said.
Bridget said Bradley had previously attempted suicide, and the loss of his grandfather, who had been an important male role model in his life, had also deeply affected him.
Since Bradley's death, Bridget said the support of the Tokoroa community had been invaluable.
Friends, colleagues, teachers and others had continued checking in on both her and her daughter, sometimes through something as simple as asking how they were doing.
“It tells me that you're thinking of me,” she said.
Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald told the programme there was no fixed timeline for grief and people should not feel pressured to “get over” the death of someone close to them.
“We always carry the person with us,” he said, adding that while the intensity of grief may lessen over time, there is not necessarily a clear endpoint.
Bridget said she was now raising money for mental health awareness and wanted conversations about emotional distress, particularly among men, to become more normal.
“Our men need to know that it's okay to be emotional. It's okay to need to talk,” she said.
Listeners also shared their experiences of depression and grief, discussing the role of counselling, medication, exercise, faith, friendships, pets and music in helping them cope.
Bridget music remained particularly important to her and had helped her through several significant losses.
She ended the programme remembering Bradley for his humour, his smile and his acceptance of others.
“He just took people as they were. He didn't judge.”
For immediate mental health support in New Zealand, people can call or text 1737 at any time.

Tokoroa mother shares grief after son's death in hope of helping others

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/8dcc36f5-dd5a-41b2-beae-b4c800501655/transcript

Father’s Day can be a celebration for some families, but for many New Zealanders it can also bring grief, loneliness and unresolved emotions.

Nutters Club Host Hamish Williams and Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald used the Father’s Day edition of the show to explore the different ways people experience fatherhood, including bereavement, separation, infertility, difficult family relationships and step-parenting.

MacDonald said people should feel free to experience the day in whatever way was right for them, rather than feeling pressured to conform to the traditional picture of Father’s Day.

For those who find the occasion particularly difficult, he said it was also acceptable to effectively “opt out”, including avoiding advertising and social media reminders if necessary.

Williams shared his own experience of losing his father when he was four, recalling how difficult Father’s Day activities at school could be as a child.

Now a stepfather himself, Williams said the day had taken on a different meaning, particularly as he had learned to trust that the affection and recognition he received from his stepchildren was genuine.

The show also explored the difference between simply being a biological father and becoming a “Dad”.

MacDonald said being a dad was fundamentally about the relationship: being present, caring, supportive, trustworthy and helping children navigate the wider world.

Listeners contributed experiences ranging from deeply positive relationships to abuse, estrangement and loss.

One caller, Dan, described reconnecting with his former stepson years after the end of his marriage. After the young man later moved in with him, their relationship strengthened until he asked if he could begin calling Dan “Dad”.

Dan, who had never had biological children, said the moment left him close to tears.

“To me, you don’t have to be a biological father,” he told the show, saying being a stepfather meant “stepping up” and demonstrating fatherhood through actions rather than words.

Other listeners described raising children alone, grieving fathers who had died decades earlier, navigating relationships with absent or abusive parents, and watching their own children become caring fathers.

MacDonald said complicated feelings should not necessarily be avoided, particularly when grief was involved.

The discussion ultimately highlighted that Father’s Day does not have a single meaning.

For some, it is a day of celebration and gratitude. For others, it can expose loss or painful relationships.

But Williams said one common theme was the importance of acknowledgement and letting the people who have played meaningful parental roles know they are valued.

Father’s Day can be a celebration for some families, but for many New Zealanders it can also bring grief, loneliness and unresolved emotions.
Nutters Club Host Hamish Williams and Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald used the Father’s Day edition of the show to explore the different ways people experience fatherhood, including bereavement, separation, infertility, difficult family relationships and step-parenting.
MacDonald said people should feel free to experience the day in whatever way was right for them, rather than feeling pressured to conform to the traditional picture of Father’s Day.
For those who find the occasion particularly difficult, he said it was also acceptable to effectively “opt out”, including avoiding advertising and social media reminders if necessary.
Williams shared his own experience of losing his father when he was four, recalling how difficult Father’s Day activities at school could be as a child.
Now a stepfather himself, Williams said the day had taken on a different meaning, particularly as he had learned to trust that the affection and recognition he received from his stepchildren was genuine.
The show also explored the difference between simply being a biological father and becoming a “Dad”.
MacDonald said being a dad was fundamentally about the relationship: being present, caring, supportive, trustworthy and helping children navigate the wider world.
Listeners contributed experiences ranging from deeply positive relationships to abuse, estrangement and loss.
One caller, Dan, described reconnecting with his former stepson years after the end of his marriage. After the young man later moved in with him, their relationship strengthened until he asked if he could begin calling Dan “Dad”.
Dan, who had never had biological children, said the moment left him close to tears.
“To me, you don’t have to be a biological father,” he told the show, saying being a stepfather meant “stepping up” and demonstrating fatherhood through actions rather than words.
Other listeners described raising children alone, grieving fathers who had died decades earlier, navigating relationships with absent or abusive parents, and watching their own children become caring fathers.
MacDonald said complicated feelings should not necessarily be avoided, particularly when grief was involved.
The discussion ultimately highlighted that Father’s Day does not have a single meaning.
For some, it is a day of celebration and gratitude. For others, it can expose loss or painful relationships.
But Williams said one common theme was the importance of acknowledgement and letting the people who have played meaningful parental roles know they are valued.

The many different responses to Fathers Day

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/f5f5be11-3a2e-4e0b-9d5a-b4c1004e0eae/transcript

A Christchurch grandfather has turned the grief of losing his teenage grandson into a campaign for open conversations about mental health.

Jimmy Gifford shared that his grandson Justin died by suicide two years after confiding in him about bullying, family pressures and self-harm. Justin was 15 when he spoke to Gifford.

Gifford said he had noticed Justin behaving unusually before the teenager asked him to stop the car and disclosed that he was struggling. The conversation prompted Gifford to take him back to Auckland, seek medical help and tell Justin’s mother, with Justin’s agreement.

A doctor referred Justin to the Waitākere Hospital crisis team, and he received five weeks of counselling, Gifford said. While he saw a change in the teen during that time, Justin tragically died two years later.

Justin had been a high-achieving student who hoped to become an architect, Gifford said. He taught himself guitar and piano through YouTube and helped establish a school band, which later performed at his wake.

In the interview, psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald said Gifford’s response to the initial disclosure had followed key principles: responding seriously, being direct and honest, involving the young person in decisions and seeking professional help.

Gifford said young people who cannot speak with their parents should identify another trusted adult, such as a grandparent, aunt, uncle or family friend. He said Justin’s willingness to speak had shown strength.

Since Justin’s death, Gifford has raised funds for youth mental-health charity I Am Hope and used community events to encourage discussion of suicide and distress. He said the fundraising was both a way to support young people and to live with his grief.

Gifford said he and supporters had raised enough money to fund more than 300 counseling sessions for young New Zealanders.

He is planning a further fundraising events and holds regular raffles at the Pig and Pint in Pegasus. The work however was about more than money, it was about making it less frightening for people to ask how someone is doing.

Gifford urged parents to pause when children return from school, ask about their day and make time to listen. He also encouraged small acts of connection, saying a greeting or a smile may give someone an opening to talk.

A Christchurch grandfather has turned the grief of losing his teenage grandson into a campaign for open conversations about mental health.
Jimmy Gifford shared that his grandson Justin died by suicide two years after confiding in him about bullying, family pressures and self-harm. Justin was 15 when he spoke to Gifford.
Gifford said he had noticed Justin behaving unusually before the teenager asked him to stop the car and disclosed that he was struggling. The conversation prompted Gifford to take him back to Auckland, seek medical help and tell Justin’s mother, with Justin’s agreement.
A doctor referred Justin to the Waitākere Hospital crisis team, and he received five weeks of counselling, Gifford said. While he saw a change in the teen during that time, Justin tragically died two years later.
Justin had been a high-achieving student who hoped to become an architect, Gifford said. He taught himself guitar and piano through YouTube and helped establish a school band, which later performed at his wake.
In the interview, psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald said Gifford’s response to the initial disclosure had followed key principles: responding seriously, being direct and honest, involving the young person in decisions and seeking professional help.
Gifford said young people who cannot speak with their parents should identify another trusted adult, such as a grandparent, aunt, uncle or family friend. He said Justin’s willingness to speak had shown strength.
Since Justin’s death, Gifford has raised funds for youth mental-health charity I Am Hope and used community events to encourage discussion of suicide and distress. He said the fundraising was both a way to support young people and to live with his grief.
Gifford said he and supporters had raised enough money to fund more than 300 counseling sessions for young New Zealanders.
He is planning a further fundraising events and holds regular raffles at the Pig and Pint in Pegasus. The work however was about more than money, it was about making it less frightening for people to ask how someone is doing.
Gifford urged parents to pause when children return from school, ask about their day and make time to listen. He also encouraged small acts of connection, saying a greeting or a smile may give someone an opening to talk.

Justin’s Legacy: How a Grandfather Turned Grief into Hope

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/8816898a-ad87-48c5-be41-b4ba00081314/transcript

Faith, nature and community took centre stage on The Nutters Club this week, as host Hamish Williams and psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald explored how a sense of something larger than oneself can support mental health.

The Newstalk ZB programme invited listeners to consider the role of religion, spirituality, purpose and connection in their lives. MacDonald said experiences of awe, whether found through faith, a dramatic landscape or time outdoors can shift people away from isolation and persistent self-focus.

“That sense of connection to something much larger than us” can create meaning and reduce stress, he said. While religious belief can offer that experience for many, he noted that nature, creative pursuits, relationships and helping others can provide similar benefits.

Callers described a wide range of personal sources of comfort. One listener said fishing had become his “little religion”, giving him time away from work pressures and an opportunity to talk openly with friends. He said taking a mate fishing had helped the friend emerge from a period of depression, even when neither of them caught anything.

MacDonald said the activity combined several recognised wellbeing supports: fresh air, physical activity, a point of focus and connection with another person. He added that conversations can sometimes come more easily when people are side by side doing something, rather than facing each other in a formal setting.

Faith communities were also described as vital sources of acceptance. A text from a listener who had previously been through alcohol rehabilitation said they had been ready to end their life before walking into a church, where they found prayer, friendship and welcome. Williams said the account showed faith could be “literally life-saving”, while MacDonald emphasised the importance of a healthy community.

The discussion did not ignore difficult experiences. Another listener described the anxiety and exhaustion caused by growing up under pressure as a preacher’s child, while others warned that religious organisations could sometimes exploit vulnerable people. The hosts urged listeners to trust their instincts when assessing any community and stressed that beliefs should not be imposed on others.

Several callers spoke of Christianity as a source of peace, moral guidance and resilience. Others found purpose through family, music, laughter, independence and simply appreciating the outdoors. One listener who is blind described life as challenging rather than diminished, encouraging people to “just love” and help one another.

Williams concluded that there was no single correct answer. Whether through God, nature, ritual or relationships, the episode’s central message was that people need meaning, hope and a reason to keep making the most of life.

Faith, nature and community took centre stage on The Nutters Club this week, as host Hamish Williams and psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald explored how a sense of something larger than oneself can support mental health.
The Newstalk ZB programme invited listeners to consider the role of religion, spirituality, purpose and connection in their lives. MacDonald said experiences of awe, whether found through faith, a dramatic landscape or time outdoors can shift people away from isolation and persistent self-focus.
“That sense of connection to something much larger than us” can create meaning and reduce stress, he said. While religious belief can offer that experience for many, he noted that nature, creative pursuits, relationships and helping others can provide similar benefits.
Callers described a wide range of personal sources of comfort. One listener said fishing had become his “little religion”, giving him time away from work pressures and an opportunity to talk openly with friends. He said taking a mate fishing had helped the friend emerge from a period of depression, even when neither of them caught anything.
MacDonald said the activity combined several recognised wellbeing supports: fresh air, physical activity, a point of focus and connection with another person. He added that conversations can sometimes come more easily when people are side by side doing something, rather than facing each other in a formal setting.
Faith communities were also described as vital sources of acceptance. A text from a listener who had previously been through alcohol rehabilitation said they had been ready to end their life before walking into a church, where they found prayer, friendship and welcome. Williams said the account showed faith could be “literally life-saving”, while MacDonald emphasised the importance of a healthy community.
The discussion did not ignore difficult experiences. Another listener described the anxiety and exhaustion caused by growing up under pressure as a preacher’s child, while others warned that religious organisations could sometimes exploit vulnerable people. The hosts urged listeners to trust their instincts when assessing any community and stressed that beliefs should not be imposed on others.
Several callers spoke of Christianity as a source of peace, moral guidance and resilience. Others found purpose through family, music, laughter, independence and simply appreciating the outdoors. One listener who is blind described life as challenging rather than diminished, encouraging people to “just love” and help one another.
Williams concluded that there was no single correct answer. Whether through God, nature, ritual or relationships, the episode’s central message was that people need meaning, hope and a reason to keep making the most of life.

Finding Meaning: Faith, Nature and Mental Health

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/a78df66f-f18a-47ce-8ccf-b4b6004fb9d2/transcript

Two Tokoroa men who spent years caught in cycles of addiction, crime and imprisonment are now using their lived experience to help young people avoid the same path.

Joel Nicholson and Richard Heke shared their stories and spoke about Reconex NZ, the charitable trust they have established to work with young people who may struggle in traditional education settings.

Nicholson says he experienced feelings of abandonment and rejection after his father left when he was five. Growing up in a single-parent household, he became acutely aware of the gap between wealthy and poorer families and by the age of 13 was involved in crime and drugs.

By 18 he had been sentenced to prison. He says the next 23 years were spent trapped in a cycle of addiction, offending and imprisonment, including a 20-year addiction to methamphetamine.

About five years ago Nicholson reached a turning point.

He says he was unhappy with the person he saw in the mirror and faced an ultimatum from his partner: choose his family or continue living the life he had been leading.

He decided to change, cut ties with people connected to his old lifestyle and began rebuilding relationships with his partner and children.

“I used to deal with misery and suffering, and now I deal in positivity and change,” said Nicholson.

Heke also began drinking, smoking and using drugs at a young age before leaving school and becoming involved in offending.

A pivotal moment came about 15 years ago when his young daughter told him there was no food in the family cupboards. Heke says he opened the cupboards and realised the values he believed he was providing for his family were no longer being met.

The two men met through an intensive outpatient programme and later trained as peer support workers. Their shared experiences prompted them to develop Reconnects, with the aim of intervening before young people become involved with the justice system.

The programme teaches topics including goal-setting, cultural identity, empowerment, anger management, rebuilding trust and recognising high-risk environments and behaviours.

Nicholson describes the approach as “pre-habilitation” rather than waiting until people have spent years in the justice system before attempting rehabilitation.

The programme has already seen young people return to school, gain driver licences, enter employment and take greater responsibility within their families.

But funding remains a major challenge. Nicholson and Heke have funded some of the work themselves and rely on grants, donations and community support.

Their appearance on The Nutters Club prompted several listeners to offer direct financial support for their work.

For the pair, the goal is to give young people something they say they lacked themselves: consistent support, someone who believes in them, and the opportunity to find a different path before it is too late.

Two Tokoroa men who spent years caught in cycles of addiction, crime and imprisonment are now using their lived experience to help young people avoid the same path.
Joel Nicholson and Richard Heke shared their stories and spoke about Reconex NZ, the charitable trust they have established to work with young people who may struggle in traditional education settings.
Nicholson says he experienced feelings of abandonment and rejection after his father left when he was five. Growing up in a single-parent household, he became acutely aware of the gap between wealthy and poorer families and by the age of 13 was involved in crime and drugs.
By 18 he had been sentenced to prison. He says the next 23 years were spent trapped in a cycle of addiction, offending and imprisonment, including a 20-year addiction to methamphetamine.
About five years ago Nicholson reached a turning point.
He says he was unhappy with the person he saw in the mirror and faced an ultimatum from his partner: choose his family or continue living the life he had been leading.
He decided to change, cut ties with people connected to his old lifestyle and began rebuilding relationships with his partner and children.
“I used to deal with misery and suffering, and now I deal in positivity and change,” said Nicholson.
Heke also began drinking, smoking and using drugs at a young age before leaving school and becoming involved in offending.
A pivotal moment came about 15 years ago when his young daughter told him there was no food in the family cupboards. Heke says he opened the cupboards and realised the values he believed he was providing for his family were no longer being met.
The two men met through an intensive outpatient programme and later trained as peer support workers. Their shared experiences prompted them to develop Reconnects, with the aim of intervening before young people become involved with the justice system.
The programme teaches topics including goal-setting, cultural identity, empowerment, anger management, rebuilding trust and recognising high-risk environments and behaviours.
Nicholson describes the approach as “pre-habilitation” rather than waiting until people have spent years in the justice system before attempting rehabilitation.
The programme has already seen young people return to school, gain driver licences, enter employment and take greater responsibility within their families.
But funding remains a major challenge. Nicholson and Heke have funded some of the work themselves and rely on grants, donations and community support.
Their appearance on The Nutters Club prompted several listeners to offer direct financial support for their work.
For the pair, the goal is to give young people something they say they lacked themselves: consistent support, someone who believes in them, and the opportunity to find a different path before it is too late.

Reconex NZ: From Prison to Prevention, How Two Tokoroa Men Are Supporting The Next Generation

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/45300b84-dbdd-48b9-bb0b-b4ad00314795/transcript

Money worries are about far more than household budgets, with financial insecurity capable of having a profound impact on mental health, according to psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald.

MacDonald said the psychological relationship people have with money can be just as important as the amount they earn.

He said rising costs were understandably stressful, particularly for people who genuinely could not afford essentials such as food, rent or mortgage payments.

But for those able to plan, he encouraged people to approach financial decisions rationally rather than emotionally.

“Money decisions have to be, as much as possible, made rationally, not made emotionally,” MacDonald said, pointing to impulse purchases and spending to make ourselves feel better as common traps.

He said people often inherited their attitudes towards money from their families and needed to understand what money meant to them personally.

For some, money could represent success, security or even a way of buying friendship or managing stress.

Listeners shared stories of financial hardship, including job losses, debt, rising living costs and the struggle to ask for help.

One caller, Bronny, described losing her job, independence and financial security, saying the experience had affected her self-esteem and left her questioning whether she was still employable.

She said helping other people had helped her through difficult periods, while simply having someone sit with her when she felt lonely or overwhelmed had been particularly valuable.

Another caller, Louise, described relying on financial management support and food parcels while raising children, before eventually becoming mortgage-free.

She said getting help had initially involved overcoming the shame of asking for it, but ultimately removed much of the worry.

MacDonald said financial hardship could push people into “survival mode”, where their focus narrowed to the immediate future rather than longer-term planning.

The solution, he said, was not necessarily to try to solve everything alone, but to seek support and “utilize another mind” by talking to trusted friends, family members or professionals.

Host Hamish Williams said planning should extend beyond finances to other areas of life, including sleep, exercise, health and social connection.

The programme also heard from listeners about compulsive spending, budgeting on very low incomes and the practical benefits of automatically paying essential bills as soon as income arrives.

MacDonald encouraged people who were struggling to seek help from their GP, a counsellor or Citizens Advice Bureau.

The central message from the discussion was that financial hardship should not be viewed as a personal failure, and that asking for help can be an important first step towards regaining a sense of control.

Money worries are about far more than household budgets, with financial insecurity capable of having a profound impact on mental health, according to psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald.
MacDonald said the psychological relationship people have with money can be just as important as the amount they earn.
He said rising costs were understandably stressful, particularly for people who genuinely could not afford essentials such as food, rent or mortgage payments.
But for those able to plan, he encouraged people to approach financial decisions rationally rather than emotionally.
“Money decisions have to be, as much as possible, made rationally, not made emotionally,” MacDonald said, pointing to impulse purchases and spending to make ourselves feel better as common traps.
He said people often inherited their attitudes towards money from their families and needed to understand what money meant to them personally.
For some, money could represent success, security or even a way of buying friendship or managing stress.
Listeners shared stories of financial hardship, including job losses, debt, rising living costs and the struggle to ask for help.
One caller, Bronny, described losing her job, independence and financial security, saying the experience had affected her self-esteem and left her questioning whether she was still employable.
She said helping other people had helped her through difficult periods, while simply having someone sit with her when she felt lonely or overwhelmed had been particularly valuable.
Another caller, Louise, described relying on financial management support and food parcels while raising children, before eventually becoming mortgage-free.
She said getting help had initially involved overcoming the shame of asking for it, but ultimately removed much of the worry.
MacDonald said financial hardship could push people into “survival mode”, where their focus narrowed to the immediate future rather than longer-term planning.
The solution, he said, was not necessarily to try to solve everything alone, but to seek support and “utilize another mind” by talking to trusted friends, family members or professionals.
Host Hamish Williams said planning should extend beyond finances to other areas of life, including sleep, exercise, health and social connection.
The programme also heard from listeners about compulsive spending, budgeting on very low incomes and the practical benefits of automatically paying essential bills as soon as income arrives.
MacDonald encouraged people who were struggling to seek help from their GP, a counsellor or Citizens Advice Bureau.
The central message from the discussion was that financial hardship should not be viewed as a personal failure, and that asking for help can be an important first step towards regaining a sense of control.

Money, mental health and the power of having a plan

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/7784f840-c291-422a-924b-ad9000bbad71/clips/85d2d5bf-dcf8-493a-b573-b4a30059d59d/transcript

The Nutters Club deals with all the tough stuff that many in society would prefer to keep in the closet. Hosted by Hamish Williams and Kyle MacDonald, the team cover mental health issues, drug/alcohol addictions and the socially taboo every Sunday night from 11pm on Newstalk ZB.

The Nutters Club deals with all the tough stuff that many in society would prefer to keep in the closet. Hosted by Hamish Williams and Kyle MacDonald, the team cover mental health issues, drug/alcohol addictions and the socially taboo every Sunday night from 11pm on Newstalk ZB.

The Nutters Club deals with all the tough stuff that many in society would prefer to keep in the closet.

The Nutters Club

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