This is an open letter to parents of autistic and neurodivergent people.

It may be confronting.

Please take care when listening.

Love,

Hugh

This is an open letter to parents of autistic and neurodivergent people.
It may be confronting.
Please take care when listening.
Love,
Hugh

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Interesting people, allowing themselves to be vulnerable, sharing with us, their imperfect lives.

The Imperfects

Hugh's Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People

In the age of AI, do you feel that your future is more uncertain?

💌Join 7,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

In today’s Academy of Imperfection, we’re joined by Dr Joel Pearson; a neurofuturist, whose work centres around predicting how AI will impact every aspect of our lives from now on.

While many of us (us included) first and foremost imagine the impacts of AI in a tech-revolution-y, robot butler-y, terminator-adjacent way, this episode goes deeper.

Joel discusses how young people are forming attachments with AI companions and how we might see, perhaps the first generation in known history with a lower IQ than the one beforehand.

We talk about the tangible and interconnected mental health impacts that this major societal disruption will have, and Hugh and Josh ask how in the world can we broach this topic with our kids?

BUT, this episode isn’t all doom and gloom. Joel is a tech-optimist, after all.

We talk to Joel about how we can foster human connection, and continue to develop our critical thinking skills, whilst not turning away from AI altogether.

Joel, this has been invaluable.

If you want to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPGa6heppjE 

0:00 – The episode we’ve been putting off
10:10 – The only certainty is disruption
14:15 – Impact of AI on the brain
21:23 – Rewards and moral responsibility
27:11 – A scary mental health spiral
30:31 – Think of the children
35:10 – You may now kiss the AI
45:06 – Purposeful Utopia
58:42 – Seeing is no longer believing
1:02:21 – The Roadmap to AI
1:11:35 – Finding Motivation in Limbo
1:18:15 – Let’s Stack Some Habits

🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - (1:22:53) - https://bit.ly/4dW7Bfa
Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - (1:22:53) - https://bit.ly/3RTAjVl
James Clear - Down The Habit Hole - (1:22:00) - https://bit.ly/4wIg5xV

📖 Things to read
The Intuition Toolkit by Dr Joel Pearson - (3:18) - https://bit.ly/4v5NnFM
Matt Shumer App Development Industry Blog - (27:11) - https://bit.ly/4uo65rY

💻Things to check out
Joel’s website - https://bit.ly/4upBURa
Tristan Harris’ Center for Human Technology - (1:25:40) - https://bit.ly/4wGrFJZ
Figure Three Robotics - (42:51) - https://bit.ly/42J2Uiz
Joel's work at the University of NSW as Deputy Director of Human Readiness UNSW AI Institute - https://bit.ly/4nPA89G 

📺 Things to watch
House of Dynamite - (26:21) - https://bit.ly/4uw5PYg

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

 

In the age of AI, do you feel that your future is more uncertain?
💌Join 7,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
In today&rsquo;s Academy of Imperfection, we&rsquo;re joined by Dr Joel Pearson; a neurofuturist, whose work centres around predicting how AI will impact every aspect of our lives from now on.
While many of us (us included) first and foremost imagine the impacts of AI in a tech-revolution-y, robot butler-y, terminator-adjacent way, this episode goes deeper.
Joel discusses how young people are forming attachments with AI companions and how we might see, perhaps the first generation in known history with a lower IQ than the one beforehand.
We talk about the tangible and interconnected mental health impacts that this major societal disruption will have, and Hugh and Josh ask how in the world can we broach this topic with our kids?
BUT, this episode isn&rsquo;t all doom and gloom. Joel is a tech-optimist, after all.
We talk to Joel about how we can foster human connection, and continue to develop our critical thinking skills, whilst not turning away from AI altogether.
Joel, this has been invaluable.
If you want to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPGa6heppjE">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPGa6heppjE</a>&nbsp;
0:00 &ndash; The episode we&rsquo;ve been putting off 10:10 &ndash; The only certainty is disruption 14:15 &ndash; Impact of AI on the brain 21:23 &ndash; Rewards and moral responsibility 27:11 &ndash; A scary mental health spiral 30:31 &ndash; Think of the children 35:10 &ndash; You may now kiss the AI 45:06 &ndash; Purposeful Utopia 58:42 &ndash; Seeing is no longer believing 1:02:21 &ndash; The Roadmap to AI 1:11:35 &ndash; Finding Motivation in Limbo 1:18:15 &ndash; Let&rsquo;s Stack Some Habits
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
<ul>
<li>Dr Emily - Acceptance, That&rsquo;s Radical - (1:22:53) - <a href="https://bit.ly/4dW7Bfa">https://bit.ly/4dW7Bfa</a></li>
<li>Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - (1:22:53) - <a href="https://bit.ly/3RTAjVl">https://bit.ly/3RTAjVl</a></li>
<li>James Clear - Down The Habit Hole - (1:22:00) - <a href="https://bit.ly/4wIg5xV">https://bit.ly/4wIg5xV</a></li>
</ul>
📖&nbsp;Things to read
<ul>
<li>The Intuition Toolkit by Dr Joel Pearson - (3:18) - <a href="https://bit.ly/4v5NnFM">https://bit.ly/4v5NnFM</a></li>
<li>Matt Shumer App Development Industry Blog - (27:11) - <a href="https://bit.ly/4uo65rY">https://bit.ly/4uo65rY</a></li>
</ul>
💻Things to check out
<ul>
<li>Joel&rsquo;s website - <a href="https://bit.ly/4upBURa">https://bit.ly/4upBURa</a></li>
<li>Tristan Harris&rsquo; Center for Human Technology - (1:25:40) - <a href="https://bit.ly/4wGrFJZ">https://bit.ly/4wGrFJZ</a></li>
<li>Figure Three Robotics - (42:51) - <a href="https://bit.ly/42J2Uiz">https://bit.ly/42J2Uiz</a></li>
<li>Joel's work at the University of NSW as Deputy Director of Human Readiness UNSW AI Institute - <a href="https://bit.ly/4nPA89G">https://bit.ly/4nPA89G</a>&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
📺&nbsp;Things to watch
<ul>
<li>House of Dynamite - (26:21) - <a href="https://bit.ly/4uw5PYg">https://bit.ly/4uw5PYg</a></li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz">http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz"></a><a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuW">http://bit.ly/4lyuuW</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://bit.ly/4mqunxu">http://bit.ly/4mqunxu</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
&nbsp;

Joel Pearson - I Think, Therefore AI

What is your envy telling you?

💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk about the green-eyed monster, and more importantly, how we can work with it to incorporate more gratitude, appreciation and awareness into our lives (hallelujah).

Founded in the evolutionary practice of assessing our status in comparison with others, envy comes from the feeling of lacking something that someone else has.

In what may have been an adaptive function for a cave person to secure their basic needs, our brains are not equipped for the intense comparison fed to us via social media.

Dr Emily chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the layered experience of envy, and how often, it stems from feeling not-enough or unworthy.

Of course, Dr Emily brings the strategies. We explore how to work with envy in our own lives, and how to acknowledge it in the lives of our friends and family to protect important relationships.

Dr Em, we’ll see you for the sequel on jealousy soon.

To watch the full episode: https://youtu.be/B7acUnoekSc

0:00 – Envy vs Jealousy 9:08 – Keeping up with the Jones’ 8:16 – A message around ‘enoughness’ 25:12 – The energy of being a hater 36:50 – A deep longing for a difference experience 42:13 – On the flip side 52:45 - Acknowledge the hard 59:18 – The social emotion 1:07:18 – Working with envy

🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Dave Hughes - Me, Myself & Ego - https://bit.ly/4ua3mSP
Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self-Doubt - https://bit.ly/4fl7omR
Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - https://bit.ly/4ugEHwe

💻Things to check out
Leon Festinger’s Social Comparison Theory - https://bit.ly/4npfIE5

📺Things to watch
‘Onesies’ Bluey episode - https://bit.ly/4eGTqLS

📖Things to read
The Way We Are, by Hugh Mackay - https://bit.ly/4wsJuff
Status Anxiety, by Alain de Botton - https://bit.ly/4tvbGeL

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

What is your envy telling you?
💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk about the green-eyed monster, and more importantly, how we can work with it to incorporate more gratitude, appreciation and awareness into our lives (hallelujah).
Founded in the evolutionary practice of assessing our status in comparison with others, envy comes from the feeling of lacking something that someone else has.
In what may have been an adaptive function for a cave person to secure their basic needs, our brains are not equipped for the intense comparison fed to us via social media.
Dr Emily chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the layered experience of envy, and how often, it stems from feeling not-enough or unworthy.
Of course, Dr Emily brings the strategies. We explore how to work with envy in our own lives, and how to acknowledge it in the lives of our friends and family to protect important relationships.
Dr Em, we&rsquo;ll see you for the sequel on jealousy soon.
To watch the full episode: <a href="https://youtu.be/B7acUnoekSc">https://youtu.be/B7acUnoekSc</a>
0:00 &ndash; Envy vs Jealousy 9:08 &ndash; Keeping up with the Jones&rsquo; 8:16 &ndash; A message around &lsquo;enoughness&rsquo; 25:12 &ndash; The energy of being a hater 36:50 &ndash; A deep longing for a difference experience 42:13 &ndash; On the flip side 52:45 - Acknowledge the hard 59:18 &ndash; The social emotion 1:07:18 &ndash; Working with envy
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
<ul>
<li>Dave Hughes - Me, Myself &amp; Ego - <a href="https://bit.ly/4ua3mSP">https://bit.ly/4ua3mSP</a></li>
<li>Hamish Blake - Let&rsquo;s Talk About Self-Doubt - <a href="https://bit.ly/4fl7omR">https://bit.ly/4fl7omR</a></li>
<li>Dr Emily - Acceptance, That&rsquo;s Radical - <a href="https://bit.ly/4ugEHwe">https://bit.ly/4ugEHwe</a></li>
</ul>
💻Things to check out
<ul>
<li>Leon Festinger&rsquo;s Social Comparison Theory - <a href="https://bit.ly/4npfIE5">https://bit.ly/4npfIE5</a></li>
</ul>
📺Things to watch
<ul>
<li>&lsquo;Onesies&rsquo; Bluey episode - <a href="https://bit.ly/4eGTqLS">https://bit.ly/4eGTqLS</a></li>
</ul>
📖Things to read
<ul>
<li>The Way We Are, by Hugh Mackay - <a href="https://bit.ly/4wsJuff">https://bit.ly/4wsJuff</a></li>
<li>Status Anxiety, by Alain de Botton - <a href="https://bit.ly/4tvbGeL">https://bit.ly/4tvbGeL</a></li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz">http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz"></a><a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuW">http://bit.ly/4lyuuW</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://bit.ly/4mqunxu">http://bit.ly/4mqunxu</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

Dr Emily - What To Do With Envy

Can you think of a moment that turned your life into ‘before’ and ‘after’?

For Reuben Williams, that moment was not his sexual assault, rather, the decision he made in the aftermath to pursue justice.

💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Incredibly vulnerable, Reuben talks Hugh, Ryan and Josh through what it felt like in the 24 hours after the assault, how he knew, undeniably, what happened to him was wrong, and why he chose to report it.

We talk about the intricacies of healing, privilege, and having a world class difficult conversation with the ones you love.

And then, Josh asks Reuben how you can best show up for your friends who might be going through something similar.

Reuben, it was such a privilege having you in the studio.

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/okQnOwV2MJE 

0:00 – An Imperfect Meet-Cute
6:44 – The night of the assault
19:28 – Identity, privilege, and idealism
33:09 – Family Dynamics
41:16 - World Class Difficult Conversation
47:39 – The Waiting Game
59:15 – Reuben’s Letter
1:04:24 – A divine test
1:10:30 – Just help
1:18:46 – How can you be a better friend?

🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
Rana Hussain - Belonging For Connection - https://bit.ly/49voquJ

🎧Things to listen to
SportsGrad Podcast - https://bit.ly/42V75HT

💻Things to check out
SportsGrad - https://bit.ly/49p2hOD

🚨If you’d like to reach out to someone for support after listening to this episode, here are some great places to start
1800 RESPECT
Centre Against Sexual Assault - 03 5441 0430 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) OR 1800 806 292 (Sexual Assault Crisis Line)

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

 

Can you think of a moment that turned your life into &lsquo;before&rsquo; and &lsquo;after&rsquo;?
For Reuben Williams, that moment was not his sexual assault, rather, the decision he made in the aftermath to pursue justice.
💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
Incredibly vulnerable, Reuben talks Hugh, Ryan and Josh through what it felt like in the 24 hours after the assault, how he knew, undeniably, what happened to him was wrong, and why he chose to report it.
We talk about the intricacies of healing, privilege, and having a world class difficult conversation with the ones you love.
And then, Josh asks Reuben how you can best show up for your friends who might be going through something similar.
Reuben, it was such a privilege having you in the studio.
If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - <a href="https://youtu.be/okQnOwV2MJE">https://youtu.be/okQnOwV2MJE</a>&nbsp;
0:00 &ndash; An Imperfect Meet-Cute 6:44 &ndash; The night of the assault 19:28 &ndash; Identity, privilege, and idealism 33:09 &ndash; Family Dynamics 41:16 - World Class Difficult Conversation 47:39 &ndash; The Waiting Game 59:15 &ndash; Reuben&rsquo;s Letter 1:04:24 &ndash; A divine test 1:10:30 &ndash; Just help 1:18:46 &ndash; How can you be a better friend?
🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
<ul>
<li>Rana Hussain - Belonging For Connection - <a href="https://bit.ly/49voquJ">https://bit.ly/49voquJ</a></li>
</ul>
🎧Things to listen to
<ul>
<li>SportsGrad Podcast - <a href="https://bit.ly/42V75HT">https://bit.ly/42V75HT</a></li>
</ul>
💻Things to check out
<ul>
<li>SportsGrad - <a href="https://bit.ly/49p2hOD">https://bit.ly/49p2hOD</a></li>
</ul>
🚨If you&rsquo;d like to reach out to someone for support after listening to this episode, here are some great places to start
<ul>
<li><a href="https://1800respect.org.au">1800 RESPECT</a></li>
<li><a href="https://casacv.org.au">Centre Against Sexual Assault</a> - 03 5441 0430 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) OR 1800 806 292 (Sexual Assault Crisis Line)</li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz">http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz"></a><a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuW">http://bit.ly/4lyuuW</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://bit.ly/4mqunxu">http://bit.ly/4mqunxu</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
&nbsp;

Hugh's Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People

The Imperfects

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