This is an open letter to parents of autistic and neurodivergent people.

It may be confronting.

Please take care when listening.

Love,

Hugh

This is an open letter to parents of autistic and neurodivergent people.
It may be confronting.
Please take care when listening.
Love,
Hugh

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Interesting people, allowing themselves to be vulnerable, sharing with us, their imperfect lives.

The Imperfects

Hugh's Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People

Have you ever watched the person you love most get everything you ever wanted? Did you harden around envy, or shrink with comparison? Were you able to find happiness for their success?

Philippa Northeast, Logie nominated and lead of Netflix’s My Brilliant Career, is a star quickly rising. Her most significant role? The little sister of our producer, Bridge.

💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Joining us as a guest host, Producer Bridge, alongside Hugh, Josh and Ryan, discuss the years of failure and rejection behind the scenes of Pip’s overnight success.

Constantly aware of the need to prove herself a success, Philippa is completely vulnerable about the obsession that came from certain rejections, and her anxiety which manifested itself as trichotillomania.

Offering a unique and intimate perspective, both Bridge and Josh reflect on their respective siblings’ success, and how that has shaped their own identity.

It’s sibling vs sibling, and only one will make it out alive (kidding, it has a happy ending).

0:00 – Meet Producer Bridge’s Little Sister
5:43 – Pip’s Brilliant Career: From Home & Away to Netflix Star
11:39 – Middle Child Syndrome
19:28 – Sibling Comparison: Cricket and Drama Solos
20:55 – Finding Success Straight Out of High School
22:56 – Self-belief vs Self-doubt: Why Pip Took The Leap and Bridget Didn’t
25:30 – Feeling Over-shadowed, and Under Pressure
28:00 – Becoming an Unemployed Clown
29:17 – The Sensational Potter Backup Plan
34:01 – Getting Undressed (Again)
35:46 – The Hollywood Grind
37:32 – Lockdown, Isolation and Growing Doubt
46:15 – Obsession born from Rejection
51:49 – What Loneliness in the Acting Industry Feels Like
52:46 – The Body Keeps Score: Trichotillomania
54:47 – Healing: Journalling, Yoga, Grounding
57:04 – The Hallmark Offer That Changed Everything
1:03:39 – The Downside of Growing Up Next To A Rising Star
1:07:29 – Choosing Pride Over Jealousy
1:09:49 – The Upside of Losing to Claudia Karvan

🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way - https://bit.ly/3UNr9LC
What’s Your ATAR? - https://bit.ly/4zQ4AG5

📺 Things to watch
My Brilliant Career - https://bit.ly/4zPaW8L
Family Next Door - https://bit.ly/4gEp0cw
Newsreader - https://bit.ly/3UNr4ri
A Royal Runaway Romance - https://bit.ly/3V8rGb2
Standing Up For Sunny - https://bit.ly/4xyeASP

🎧 Things to listen to
Undressed by Sombr - https://bit.ly/4wY9Ipf

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

Have you ever watched the person you love most get everything you ever wanted? Did you harden around envy, or shrink with comparison? Were you able to find happiness for their success?
Philippa Northeast, Logie nominated and lead of Netflix&rsquo;s My Brilliant Career, is a star quickly rising. Her most significant role? The little sister of our producer, Bridge.
💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
Joining us as a guest host, Producer Bridge, alongside Hugh, Josh and Ryan, discuss the years of failure and rejection behind the scenes of Pip&rsquo;s overnight success.
Constantly aware of the need to prove herself a success, Philippa is completely vulnerable about the obsession that came from certain rejections, and her anxiety which manifested itself as trichotillomania.
Offering a unique and intimate perspective, both Bridge and Josh reflect on their respective siblings&rsquo; success, and how that has shaped their own identity.
It&rsquo;s sibling vs sibling, and only one will make it out alive (kidding, it has a happy ending).
0:00 &ndash; Meet Producer Bridge&rsquo;s Little Sister 5:43 &ndash; Pip&rsquo;s Brilliant Career: From Home &amp; Away to Netflix Star 11:39 &ndash; Middle Child Syndrome 19:28 &ndash; Sibling Comparison: Cricket and Drama Solos 20:55 &ndash; Finding Success Straight Out of High School 22:56 &ndash; Self-belief vs Self-doubt: Why Pip Took The Leap and Bridget Didn&rsquo;t 25:30 &ndash; Feeling Over-shadowed, and Under Pressure 28:00 &ndash; Becoming an Unemployed Clown 29:17 &ndash; The Sensational Potter Backup Plan 34:01 &ndash; Getting Undressed (Again) 35:46 &ndash; The Hollywood Grind 37:32 &ndash; Lockdown, Isolation and Growing Doubt 46:15 &ndash; Obsession born from Rejection 51:49 &ndash; What Loneliness in the Acting Industry Feels Like 52:46 &ndash; The Body Keeps Score: Trichotillomania 54:47 &ndash; Healing: Journalling, Yoga, Grounding 57:04 &ndash; The Hallmark Offer That Changed Everything 1:03:39 &ndash; The Downside of Growing Up Next To A Rising Star 1:07:29 &ndash; Choosing Pride Over Jealousy 1:09:49 &ndash; The Upside of Losing to Claudia Karvan
🫖&nbsp;Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode
<ul>
<li>Claudia Karvan - Love, Her Way - <a href="https://bit.ly/3UNr9LC">https://bit.ly/3UNr9LC</a></li>
<li>What&rsquo;s Your ATAR? - <a href="https://bit.ly/4zQ4AG5">https://bit.ly/4zQ4AG5</a></li>
</ul>
📺&nbsp;Things to watch
<ul>
<li>My Brilliant Career - <a href="https://bit.ly/4zPaW8L">https://bit.ly/4zPaW8L</a></li>
<li>Family Next Door - <a href="https://bit.ly/4gEp0cw">https://bit.ly/4gEp0cw</a></li>
<li>Newsreader - <a href="https://bit.ly/3UNr4ri">https://bit.ly/3UNr4ri</a></li>
<li>A Royal Runaway Romance - <a href="https://bit.ly/3V8rGb2">https://bit.ly/3V8rGb2</a></li>
<li>Standing Up For Sunny - <a href="https://bit.ly/4xyeASP">https://bit.ly/4xyeASP</a></li>
</ul>
🎧&nbsp;Things to listen to
<ul>
<li>Undressed by Sombr - <a href="https://bit.ly/4wY9Ipf">https://bit.ly/4wY9Ipf</a></li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - <a href="http://theimperfects.com.au/shop">theimperfects.com.au/shop</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here - <a href="http://theimperfects.com.au/shop">theimperfects.com.au/shop</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://patreon.com/theimperfects">patreon.com/theimperfects</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

My Brilliant Career Took Years of Rejection

What impact does sleep deprivation really have on your wellbeing? What about your parenting? What about your identity?

Matt D’Avella has amassed over 4 millions subscribers on YouTube undertaking 30-day wellness challenges, and promoting his minimalist lifestyle.

In life that was meticulously controlled, having kids changed everything.

💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Blessed with a baby who woke every 30 minutes for the first ten months of their life, Matt chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about how becoming a new parent impacted every facet of his life.

Hugh and Josh share just how lonely they have felt at different times during their parenting journey, and Ryan saves the day by holding a baby for a full 40 minutes (save the applause! please!)

Matt this was a dream come true.

To watch the full episode on YouTube - https://youtu.be/foilZTRGXco

00:00 - I Tried Being Vulnerable for 30 Days 
7:03 - Minimalism Maxxing 
18:00 - The Vulnerabilitea House 
20:25 - Becoming a father, losing sleep (and himself) 
24:14 - Depression Diagnosis Wake-Up Call 
32:56 - Hugh's Sleep Score 
40:38 - SOS: Hiring Help, Expanding your Village 
48:50 - Sleep Training: What Actually Works 
52:02 - The Real Cost of Sleep Deprivation 
58:29 - Being A Mum: The Additional Burden 
1:01:32 - 'Do You Regret Having Kids?' 
1:04:00 - The New and Improved Matt D'Ad-Avella

🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby… New Brain… Matrescence - https://bit.ly/4zVt9Si

📺 Things to watch
Minimalism Documentary - https://bit.ly/3SSZb0t
Why I disappeared - Matt D’Avella - https://bit.ly/3SwYA4g
Matt D’Avella YouTube - https://bit.ly/4wOzFXW

💤 Things to sleep train
Tresillian Sleep Organisation - https://bit.ly/4zAGTS5
The Ferber Sleep method - https://bit.ly/4iCdqB4
Masada Sleep School - https://bit.ly/4qNi7uc

📚Things to read
Regretful Parents subreddit - https://bit.ly/4gx9W0b

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

What impact does sleep deprivation really have on your wellbeing? What about your parenting? What about your identity?
Matt D&rsquo;Avella has amassed over 4 millions subscribers on YouTube undertaking 30-day wellness challenges, and promoting his minimalist lifestyle.
In life that was meticulously controlled, having kids changed everything.
💌Join 9,400+ others in our newsletter community -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
Blessed with a baby who woke every 30 minutes for the first ten months of their life, Matt chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about how becoming a new parent impacted every facet of his life.
Hugh and Josh share just how lonely they have felt at different times during their parenting journey, and Ryan saves the day by holding a baby for a full 40 minutes (save the applause! please!)
Matt this was a dream come true.
To watch the full episode on YouTube - <a href="https://youtu.be/foilZTRGXco">https://youtu.be/foilZTRGXco</a>
00:00 - I Tried Being Vulnerable for 30 Days 7:03 - Minimalism Maxxing 18:00 - The Vulnerabilitea House 20:25 - Becoming a father, losing sleep (and himself) 24:14 - Depression Diagnosis Wake-Up Call 32:56 - Hugh's Sleep Score 40:38 - SOS: Hiring Help, Expanding your Village 48:50 - Sleep Training: What Actually Works 52:02 - The Real Cost of Sleep Deprivation 58:29 - Being A Mum: The Additional Burden 1:01:32 - 'Do You Regret Having Kids?' 1:04:00 - The New and Improved Matt D'Ad-Avella
🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
<ul>
<li>Dr Edna Lekgabe - New Baby&hellip; New Brain&hellip; Matrescence - <a href="https://bit.ly/4zVt9Si">https://bit.ly/4zVt9Si</a></li>
</ul>
📺&nbsp;Things to watch
<ul>
<li>Minimalism Documentary - <a href="https://bit.ly/3SSZb0t">https://bit.ly/3SSZb0t</a></li>
<li>Why I disappeared - Matt D&rsquo;Avella - <a href="https://bit.ly/3SwYA4g">https://bit.ly/3SwYA4g</a></li>
<li>Matt D&rsquo;Avella YouTube - <a href="https://bit.ly/4wOzFXW">https://bit.ly/4wOzFXW</a></li>
</ul>
💤&nbsp;Things to sleep train
<ul>
<li>Tresillian Sleep Organisation - <a href="https://bit.ly/4zAGTS5">https://bit.ly/4zAGTS5</a></li>
<li>The Ferber Sleep method - <a href="https://bit.ly/4iCdqB4">https://bit.ly/4iCdqB4</a></li>
<li>Masada Sleep School - <a href="https://bit.ly/4qNi7uc">https://bit.ly/4qNi7uc</a></li>
</ul>
📚Things to read
<ul>
<li>Regretful Parents subreddit - <a href="https://bit.ly/4gx9W0b">https://bit.ly/4gx9W0b</a></li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - <a href="http://theimperfects.com.au/shop">theimperfects.com.au/shop</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here - <a href="http://theimperfects.com.au/shop">theimperfects.com.au/shop</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://patreon.com/theimperfects">patreon.com/theimperfects</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

I Tried No-Sleep-Parenting For 10 Months

How does having cancer as a child impact the way you live as an adult?

Uber successful chef and restauranteur Josh Niland doesn’t do things in halves (no, literally, have you read his book The Whole Fish?).

From opening a restaurant at 26, to becoming the first Australian to win the James Beard Book of the Year award when he was just 30, Josh’s creativity came from a place of desperation to explore every opportunity presented to him.

💌Join 9,400+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week’s episode in our newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

Diagnosed with cancer 2 days after his 8th birthday, Josh’s childhood transformed in a matter of hours into hospital hallways, chemotherapy and facing his own mortality.

In this episode, Josh joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to talk us through an experience which profoundly changed him, which he is now grateful for.

Hugh, Ryan and Josh (our Josh), also ask about where his drive and ambitious creativity comes from, and just how close to failure Josh’s culinary career came.

We wish this chat could have gone on longer,

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/hjZPPeKKsVA 

🫖Other Imperfect’s episodes mentioned on this episode
Nathan Cavaleri - The Ups & The Blues - https://bit.ly/468HE7l

📺 Things to watch
Josh’s Australian Story - https://bit.ly/4giDtKR

📚Things to read
Saint Peter: Chapter & Verse, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN
The Whole Fish, by Josh Niland - https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN

🍽️ Places to eat
Saint Peter - https://bit.ly/4qrs4gv

💻Things to check out
Starlight Children’s Foundation - https://bit.ly/4hHDkmM
Josh Niland’s Website - https://www.mrniland.com

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - theimperfects.com.au/shop

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - patreon.com/theimperfects

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

 

How does having cancer as a child impact the way you live as an adult?
Uber successful chef and restauranteur Josh Niland doesn&rsquo;t do things in halves (no, literally, have you read his book The Whole Fish?).
From opening a restaurant at 26, to becoming the first Australian to win the James Beard Book of the Year award when he was just 30, Josh&rsquo;s creativity came from a place of desperation to explore every opportunity presented to him.
💌Join 9,400+ people getting a Dr Emily values worksheet and takeaways from this week&rsquo;s episode in our newsletter -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
Diagnosed with cancer 2 days after his 8th birthday, Josh&rsquo;s childhood transformed in a matter of hours into hospital hallways, chemotherapy and facing his own mortality.
In this episode, Josh joins us in the Vulnerabilitea House to talk us through an experience which profoundly changed him, which he is now grateful for.
Hugh, Ryan and Josh (our Josh), also ask about where his drive and ambitious creativity comes from, and just how close to failure Josh&rsquo;s culinary career came.
We wish this chat could have gone on longer,
If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - <a href="https://youtu.be/hjZPPeKKsVA">https://youtu.be/hjZPPeKKsVA</a>&nbsp;
🫖Other Imperfect&rsquo;s episodes mentioned on this episode
<ul>
<li>Nathan Cavaleri - The Ups &amp; The Blues - <a href="https://bit.ly/468HE7l">https://bit.ly/468HE7l</a></li>
</ul>
📺&nbsp;Things to watch
<ul>
<li>Josh&rsquo;s Australian Story - <a href="https://bit.ly/4giDtKR">https://bit.ly/4giDtKR</a></li>
</ul>
📚Things to read
<ul>
<li>Saint Peter: Chapter &amp; Verse, by Josh Niland - <a href="https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN">https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN</a></li>
<li>The Whole Fish, by Josh Niland - <a href="https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN">https://bit.ly/4bVM0SN</a></li>
</ul>
🍽️&nbsp;Places to eat
<ul>
<li>Saint Peter - <a href="https://bit.ly/4qrs4gv">https://bit.ly/4qrs4gv</a></li>
</ul>
💻Things to check out
<ul>
<li>Starlight Children&rsquo;s Foundation - <a href="https://bit.ly/4hHDkmM">https://bit.ly/4hHDkmM</a></li>
<li>Josh Niland&rsquo;s Website - <a href="https://www.mrniland.com/"></a><a href="https://www.mrniland.com">https://www.mrniland.com</a></li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - <a href="http://theimperfects.com.au/shop">theimperfects.com.au/shop</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here - <a href="http://theimperfects.com.au/shop">theimperfects.com.au/shop</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://patreon.com/theimperfects">patreon.com/theimperfects</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.
&nbsp;

Hugh's Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People

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