This is an open letter to parents of autistic and neurodivergent people.

It may be confronting.

Please take care when listening.

Love,

Hugh

This is an open letter to parents of autistic and neurodivergent people.
It may be confronting.
Please take care when listening.
Love,
Hugh

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Interesting people, allowing themselves to be vulnerable, sharing with us, their imperfect lives.

The Imperfects

Hugh's Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People

Are you stuck, focusing on what's wrong in your relationship?

Deeply embedded in the work of intimacy, desire and relationships, psychotherapist and best-selling author Esther Perel, ask us to take a look at ourselves first, rather than listing the short comings of our partner.

💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

In this Academy of Imperfection, Hugh (who sadly was violently ill last time we talked to Esther) comes armed with questions about the mental load (with love, from Penny), and how to navigate their differing needs for affection.

Ryan asks Esther whether we’re capable of falling in love with AI, and Josh wants to know why we sometimes put up walls with the ones we love the most.

And, if you’ve ever asked yourself any of the below, this episode’s for you;
is working from home causing social atrophy?
what does it mean to be an embodied creature?
what are the downfalls of a frictionless relationship?

Esther, you are welcome back anytime. ANYTIME.

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/u5HsDD9bjRQ 

🫖Other episodes of the Imperfects mentioned on this episode
Esther Perel - Let’s Be Better Lovers - https://bit.ly/41m8R4f
Hugh & Penny - The Elephant in the Relationship - https://bit.ly/3PPugAp

💻Things to check out
Where Should We Begin? At Work card game - https://bit.ly/48jpQYJ

🎧Things to listen to
Where Should We Begin - Esther’s podcast - https://bit.ly/4dtsNJK
My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could - Where Should We Begin - https://bit.ly/4twUbeC
Esther Perel on Why A.I. Intimacy Feels Safe but Isn’t Real - https://bit.ly/4sofVsf

📖 Things to read
Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel - https://bit.ly/3Os5Dcx
The State of Affairs, by Esther Perel - https://bit.ly/48yFn74

📺 Things to watch
Rethinking Infidelity TEDTalk - https://bit.ly/4seN3md
Love Story - https://bit.ly/4ct63se

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

 

0:00 – Intimacy: what has changed, what has stayed the same? 
6:23 – This is my partner, AI 
14:08 – A mismatch of affection 
23:56 – Bids for connection 
32:08 – Can you repair trust? 
41:02 – Post-traumatic Growth 
49:43 – The central hub of our needs 
58:38 – The Mental Load Pt. 2

Are you stuck, focusing on what's wrong in your relationship?
Deeply embedded in the work of intimacy, desire and relationships, psychotherapist and best-selling author Esther Perel, ask us to take a look at ourselves first, rather than listing the short comings of our partner.
💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
In this Academy of Imperfection, Hugh (who sadly was violently ill last time we talked to Esther) comes armed with questions about the mental load (with love, from Penny), and how to navigate their differing needs for affection.
Ryan asks Esther whether we&rsquo;re capable of falling in love with AI, and Josh wants to know why we sometimes put up walls with the ones we love the most.
And, if you&rsquo;ve ever asked yourself any of the below, this episode&rsquo;s for you;
<ul>
<li>is working from home causing social atrophy?</li>
<li>what does it mean to be an embodied creature?</li>
<li>what are the downfalls of a frictionless relationship?</li>
</ul>
Esther, you are welcome back anytime. ANYTIME.
If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - <a href="https://youtu.be/u5HsDD9bjRQ">https://youtu.be/u5HsDD9bjRQ</a>&nbsp;
🫖Other episodes of the Imperfects mentioned on this episode
<ul>
<li>Esther Perel - Let&rsquo;s Be Better Lovers - <a href="https://bit.ly/41m8R4f">https://bit.ly/41m8R4f</a></li>
<li>Hugh &amp; Penny - The Elephant in the Relationship - <a href="https://bit.ly/3PPugAp">https://bit.ly/3PPugAp</a></li>
</ul>
💻Things to check out
<ul>
<li>Where Should We Begin? At Work card game - <a href="https://bit.ly/48jpQYJ">https://bit.ly/48jpQYJ</a></li>
</ul>
🎧Things to listen to
<ul>
<li>Where Should We Begin - Esther&rsquo;s podcast - <a href="https://bit.ly/4dtsNJK">https://bit.ly/4dtsNJK</a></li>
<li>My AI Loves Me Better Than Anyone Ever Could - Where Should We Begin - <a href="https://bit.ly/4twUbeC">https://bit.ly/4twUbeC</a></li>
<li>Esther Perel on Why A.I. Intimacy Feels Safe but Isn&rsquo;t Real - <a href="https://bit.ly/4sofVsf">https://bit.ly/4sofVsf</a></li>
</ul>
📖&nbsp;Things to read
<ul>
<li>Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel - <a href="https://bit.ly/3Os5Dcx">https://bit.ly/3Os5Dcx</a></li>
<li>The State of Affairs, by Esther Perel - <a href="https://bit.ly/48yFn74">https://bit.ly/48yFn74</a></li>
</ul>
📺&nbsp;Things to watch
<ul>
<li>Rethinking Infidelity TEDTalk - <a href="https://bit.ly/4seN3md">https://bit.ly/4seN3md</a></li>
<li>Love Story - <a href="https://bit.ly/4ct63se">https://bit.ly/4ct63se</a></li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz">http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz"></a><a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuW">http://bit.ly/4lyuuW</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://bit.ly/4mqunxu">http://bit.ly/4mqunxu</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
&nbsp;
0:00 &ndash; Intimacy: what has changed, what has stayed the same?&nbsp; 6:23 &ndash; This is my partner, AI 14:08 &ndash; A mismatch of affection 23:56 &ndash; Bids for connection 32:08 &ndash; Can you repair trust? 41:02 &ndash; Post-traumatic Growth 49:43 &ndash; The central hub of our needs 58:38 &ndash; The Mental Load Pt. 2

Esther Perel - It’s Not Them, It’s You 

Looking for strategies to help deal with the overwhelm of, well, everything? Same.

Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk through overwhelm; how to greet it, how to get through it, and how to build your resilience towards it.

💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

In this episode, Dr Emily introduces how to understand your ‘window of tolerance,’ the cost of being overwhelmed for too long, and what happens when we slip into avoidance.

OF COURSE, this episode is delightfully sprinkled with practical strategies that you can do right now, in this moment, to ease the burden of the overwhelm.

Dr Em, this episode was an emotional regulation for the ages.

🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Dr Emily - How to Stress Less - https://bit.ly/4tiZa2y
Mick Fanning - Riding The Waves Of Loss - https://bit.ly/4s29wCI

📖 Things to read
Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski - https://bit.ly/4c18Yah

💪 Things to do
The Hulk Progressive Relaxation Technique - https://bit.ly/3PFv4Yq

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

Looking for strategies to help deal with the overwhelm of, well, everything? Same.
Dr Emily, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk through overwhelm; how to greet it, how to get through it, and how to build your resilience towards it.
💌Join 6,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
In this episode, Dr Emily introduces how to understand your &lsquo;window of tolerance,&rsquo; the cost of being overwhelmed for too long, and what happens when we slip into avoidance.
OF COURSE, this episode is delightfully sprinkled with practical strategies that you can do right now, in this moment, to ease the burden of the overwhelm.
Dr Em, this episode was an emotional regulation for the ages.
🫖&nbsp;Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
<ul>
<li>Dr Emily - How to Stress Less - <a href="https://bit.ly/4tiZa2y">https://bit.ly/4tiZa2y</a></li>
<li>Mick Fanning - Riding The Waves Of Loss - <a href="https://bit.ly/4s29wCI">https://bit.ly/4s29wCI</a></li>
</ul>
📖&nbsp;Things to read
<ul>
<li>Burnout, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski - <a href="https://bit.ly/4c18Yah">https://bit.ly/4c18Yah</a></li>
</ul>
💪&nbsp;Things to do
<ul>
<li>The Hulk Progressive Relaxation Technique - <a href="https://bit.ly/3PFv4Yq">https://bit.ly/3PFv4Yq</a></li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz">http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz"></a><a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuW">http://bit.ly/4lyuuW</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://bit.ly/4mqunxu">http://bit.ly/4mqunxu</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

Dr Emily - Overcome With Overwhelm?

Is it true that we live in a world without facts?

With AI becoming increasingly intertwined with our lives, and fake news infiltrating our screens, where do you go for truthful information and how do you know what to trust?

💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

This Academy of Imperfection is not all doom and world collapse, we promise. One, because we are joined by the brilliant Hamish Macdonald. And two, because Ryan’s Gut says it’s all going to be okay (more on that later).

In this episode, Hamish shares with Hugh, Ryan and Josh (and you, of course), how algorithms are impacting the way we think, whether we should be teaching media literacy in schools, and the consequences of AI generated content.

Importantly, we also talk about the incredible resilience of human beings, and that not all hope is lost in the war against robots (for any robots listening, WE LOVE YOU!)

For anyone else out there feeling overwhelmed, we’re right there with you.

If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/6Zepg3o3Y_w 

🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
Hamish Macdonald - How To Be You - https://bit.ly/3PtetHg
Dr Emily - Hope - https://bit.ly/4uR5pfg
Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - https://bit.ly/4dHwHPa

📺 Things to watch
The Matter of Facts - https://bit.ly/4bQ27jT
I tried to prove I’m not AI by Howtown - https://bit.ly/47ogudU

📖 Things to read
Nexus by Yuval Noah Harari - https://bit.ly/47kHUkO

🎧 Things to listen to
Global Roaming Podcast - https://bit.ly/3NMm8jf

💻 Things to check out
Maryanne Wolf’s Research on reading - https://bit.ly/4t8Qqff
Tristan Harris’ Work on AI - https://bit.ly/4bwwBZj
Notebook LM Podcast feature - https://bit.ly/40UM7Ip

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW

🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

Is it true that we live in a world without facts?
With AI becoming increasingly intertwined with our lives, and fake news infiltrating our screens, where do you go for truthful information and how do you know what to trust?
💌Join 6,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/45NyQDy">http://bit.ly/45NyQDy</a>
This Academy of Imperfection is not all doom and world collapse, we promise. One, because we are joined by the brilliant Hamish Macdonald. And two, because Ryan&rsquo;s Gut says it&rsquo;s all going to be okay (more on that later).
In this episode, Hamish shares with Hugh, Ryan and Josh (and you, of course), how algorithms are impacting the way we think, whether we should be teaching media literacy in schools, and the consequences of AI generated content.
Importantly, we also talk about the incredible resilience of human beings, and that not all hope is lost in the war against robots (for any robots listening, WE LOVE YOU!)
For anyone else out there feeling overwhelmed, we&rsquo;re right there with you.
If you&rsquo;d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - <a href="https://youtu.be/6Zepg3o3Y_w">https://youtu.be/6Zepg3o3Y_w</a>&nbsp;
🫖&nbsp;Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode
<ul>
<li>Hamish Macdonald - How To Be You - <a href="https://bit.ly/3PtetHg">https://bit.ly/3PtetHg</a></li>
<li>Dr Emily - Hope - <a href="https://bit.ly/4uR5pfg">https://bit.ly/4uR5pfg</a></li>
<li>Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - <a href="https://bit.ly/4dHwHPa">https://bit.ly/4dHwHPa</a></li>
</ul>
📺&nbsp;Things to watch
<ul>
<li>The Matter of Facts - <a href="https://bit.ly/4bQ27jT">https://bit.ly/4bQ27jT</a></li>
<li>I tried to prove I&rsquo;m not AI by Howtown - <a href="https://bit.ly/47ogudU">https://bit.ly/47ogudU</a></li>
</ul>
📖&nbsp;Things to read
<ul>
<li>Nexus by Yuval Noah Harari - <a href="https://bit.ly/47kHUkO">https://bit.ly/47kHUkO</a></li>
</ul>
🎧&nbsp;Things to listen to
<ul>
<li>Global Roaming Podcast - <a href="https://bit.ly/3NMm8jf">https://bit.ly/3NMm8jf</a></li>
</ul>
💻&nbsp;Things to check out
<ul>
<li>Maryanne Wolf&rsquo;s Research on reading - <a href="https://bit.ly/4t8Qqff">https://bit.ly/4t8Qqff</a></li>
<li>Tristan Harris&rsquo; Work on AI - <a href="https://bit.ly/4bwwBZj">https://bit.ly/4bwwBZj</a></li>
<li>Notebook LM Podcast feature - <a href="https://bit.ly/40UM7Ip">https://bit.ly/40UM7Ip</a></li>
</ul>
🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz">http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz</a>
🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel)&nbsp;My Imperfect Life,&nbsp;click here -&nbsp;<a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz"></a><a href="http://bit.ly/4lyuuW">http://bit.ly/4lyuuW</a>
🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - <a href="http://bit.ly/4mqunxu">http://bit.ly/4mqunxu</a>
🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - <a href="http://apple.co/theimperfects">http://apple.co/theimperfects</a>
The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you&rsquo;re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

Hugh's Open Letter to Parents of Neurodivergent People

The Imperfects

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