In this edition of BaronTrend: Computer Hacker, Jack and Miles discuss Baron Trump being really good at computer, Andrew Schulz's take on all the Elon hate, Trump dismantling the DOE, calls for Chuck Schumer to step down, the World Happiness Report and much more!
Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Baron Trend. Computer a hacker. Mm hmm, my name is Jack. That over there is Miles yeap year.
Yeah, we got hackers. Y'all, watch your fucking hardwares and your softwares because the hackers they can get in there.
Dude, late hackers like steal money from your wallet. That's what my kids ask me. Like the hackers take over the car. Oh, I mean they got like that. They got that late nineties CBS TV show writer concept of how computer you are?
Could you could you could engage like a kill switch on a car, would they Yeah?
I guess they could get out of the car. Yeah yeah, they can really pack the money directly out of my wallet. I don't think. No, they would have last words.
They would pretend that they are asking you for an unpaid toll fee.
Yeah yeah, and that's.
How they would steal the money out of daddy's wallet.
That's right, that's right. Yeah, And that's how they did steal the money out of my wallet.
And that's why kids, you can't get bracest. I'm sorry, I think.
Look the white sucking whole to these told people, dude, jagged teeth are in right now. Yeah, you just need to start dating Walton Goggins on an HBO show and you.
Need someone with gigantic teeth to hear like oh yeah yeah yeah not un teeth is normal that there's some chick lits.
Are you're still not caught up right? No? No, so you haven't seen the same rock well no, and he.
Kept hearing about it and just seeing memes about it that I'm like, oh, this ship it's like launched a thousand memes and I'm.
Like, Goggins has been kind of wasted in this role or like so far, like it hasn't paid off, like you know, he's one of my favorite actors anywhere, and it was all worth it for the just his reaction shot.
Well you got you got him. You can double dip because he's uncle baby Billy right now Gemstones.
And they got two episodes out of the he got beat out already.
Oh for real, some dumb it's fucking it's stupid, right.
Just Gemstone season is stupid.
Like the gratuitous full frontal new.
Gratuitas meat out full frontal and uh yeah, maybe that's I.
Read a thing where the guy who was the dad of like the Duke family, right, he's got his meet out in one of the scenes. And then I saw this thing where he was like, it's a double standard for me to be asked about my penis, like when women aren't asked about He's like, I don't think Mikey Madison's asked about her volva and I was hanging out the whole time of Anora d.
Yo gets so defensive, I know.
And then he was like, Okay, that's on me. Maybe that was the wrong way to phrase it. It is weird.
Was hanging out all over town.
It's like, what are you my grandfa who says that hanging out everywhere? Then he was like, it's just weird when people ask you in an interview, like if that was a prosthetic, because he's like, basically it feels like people was asking Me's like, so was I looking at your real dick?
Was dick?
H That is a weird question? Like fair, fair enough on his part, like that's a weird question, don't you. Definitely with that, definitely what I wanted to know, but definitely not a thing that as a journalist I would be like, hey, man, is that real meat or what we talked about real U A grade real A grade beef?
Is that what's for dinner?
Kind of packing?
But yeah, the Baron Trump thing that's trending right now because again just fucking the goofy goofy hitler. Donald Trump continues to terrorize us and demonstrate how.
Stupid he is.
He was doing an interview with Laura Ingram and he just he just got this real cool, one cool quote out about how Baron is so good at computer and I don't know, dude, try not to have your ears bleed?
Is Baron's aptitude in your view?
Business or politics?
Maybe technology? He can look at a computer, I try turn it off. His turn it off. I turn off his laptop. I said, oh good And I go back five minutes or he's got his laptop. He said, how do you do that? None of your business? Dad, No, he's got an unbelievable aptitude in technology.
What what that he can turn it back on?
How you do that? You do that? How does he say that?
Turn it off? His turn it off? I turn off his laptop. I said, oh goodness, And I go back five minutes later, he's got his laptop. He said, how do you do that?
You do that?
How do you do that. Yeah, tremendous attitude for turn on laptop.
Turn tremendous aptitude for yeah, how you do that?
And and he's like, none of your business, dad. I do believe that part where he's trying to interact with his son and he's like, get the fuck out of my face, you motherfucker your dad.
God Crypto kiss his ass, I think because they I think I think everybody close to him kisses his ass because they recognize that they dans too. They are I think he is going to try to pass power onto Barn Like I don't think he. I think he hates Donald Junior too much, so he'll probably up yeah yeah, or Eric or something. He's try and keep it in the family, right.
I mean, that's the only that's how this sort of despotic shit works usually.
But I don't know what if Hitler was hilarious.
Yeah, Jesus Christ. So he has a tremendous aptitude because he can turn off computer.
Damn. Put him in charge of fucking NSA. I turn out the computer, I come back five minutes later, Like that is the lowest fucking bar for like he must he must be having his mind blown by the most basic magic tricks. What at this?
But this is my thing? Is oh right? Like if you do the thumb like.
Yeah, motherfucker's probably getting like people are like he put must have a pee tape. He probably believes Putin has his ear like that might be give it, give it back, give it back, you hear back.
I doubt they'll learn some Russian swear words. But I also like the interaction. If you sort of distill it down to what the narrative was of this anecdote, it's that Baron's on his computer. Trump hates that he's on his computer. He's like, hey, get on the dank computer. I'm turning it off. And I finally get that thing off. I come back five minutes. The kids got the dang thing back on that I told him to turn off. And I'm like hiding jud and he's like, fuck you, that's my man.
I got it. Like what did you think? Wow, it's such a it's such a low bar with these rich people and their children. Yeah, Jesus Christ, we're in We're in a lot of trouble if we can't calaw this thing back.
Why immigrant mom and black father? The bar was too damn high, exactly man. And then you don't you don't have the self confidence to just be like, how do you do do that? I remember when I did that, my dad said, you know, as a young black child, you're gonna have to turn on the computer twice as hard than the white kids. That's right before anybody recognizes you.
People are just gonna be coming by knocking it out of your hands. You just gotta yeah all right. Uh. At the beginning of this administration, uh, I think we were wondering on the on the podcast, like what it was gonna look like with these comedians who got famous during the Biden administration and now suddenly like the side that they root for are like in power, Like, are they just gonna be like, yeah, man, you see what happened to the White House today? That was sick. Yeah yeah, you know they just like get the talking point.
That's just so sick, like that we're just kind of like really reinforcing like the standards of like Western European civilization.
Yeah, yeah, like.
I love that they stand for that shit, you know what I mean, that'sh it's so fucking sick. Yeah, it's fucking sad.
Yeah. So we got a glimpse Andrew Schultz was on THEO Van's podcast and uh or vice very, I can't tell the fucking different he was on this past weekend with he was on this past weekend with this past weekend and uh yeah, let's just play a little bit because it's it's interesting you can't quite see his hand if he has the same talking points that Trump had during the Tesla infomercial on the White House lawn. But it feels like it feels like he's been he's got his marching orders.
Yeah, all right, come on, man, glaze that glaze that musk train.
So this is like a kind of shitty situation where like, yes, oh yeah, he's entising people. He's like rubbing people the wrong way. You don't like the guy, you don't like the beliefs, you don't like what he's doing, and.
There are things you don't like the beliefs, and there are things the criticized. Again, but I really think a lot of people turned at the hailing of the Hitler, the seeking of the hail the Hitler. I don't know. Some people that's not their thing. And I get it.
There's stuff you're against that that's fine, But then that is also other people saying so like maybe we should create space for them. Okay, continue, Andrew.
I'm not saying aren't things are criticized, like everybody is nobody's above criticism. But to punish that car company that is one hundred made in America may both live in America. Americans rely on those jobs, Like, maybe we criticize another thing.
Dude I love is so stupid that he clearly has not he is not actually comprehended him and just like energetically because the way it's like, you know what I mean, like maybe they say, right.
My interview style is also uh huh yeah, and then like five sentences later, wait a second, you.
Just say the thing the person just said five minutes ago. Look it all happens.
Yeah, and Joe Rogan just seemed to be agreeing themselves to death.
Yeah right, yeah, okay, sorry, go on, let's let's let's allow the man to continue.
Is another thing, right, what is your goal that we set? Is funny?
Freezing those Americans lose those jobs? That makes you feel better about your gripe with Elon.
That's the thing.
Some people they they just want to win an argument.
It feels like hell yeah, really good point, jobs. Oh that's a really good that's a really good point, man.
They just want to win the argument that, like fascism is destroying everything.
At a rapid tic and they want to try and.
I don't know, it's like they just want to win that argument.
Man.
Anyway, that is a comedy podcast, but it's it's truly like a sub Fox News de of Like there's just a fucking real surface level uh Trump Elon Musk made in America.
Doug Andrew Schul can't even concoct an argument that doesn't contradict everything he's saying. Right, He's like, because like Americans are losing jobs because of fucking Doge.
Right, right. The worst thing that he has been Elon Musk, the guy who took a cartoonishly big chainsaw to Seapack to write like emphasize how much jobs he's cutting.
Yeah exactly. But but yet the thrust of your fucking defensive Musk is to tap into people's outrage over Americans losing their jobs.
Yeah yeah, And That's what I'm going with. And if you disagree with that, man, I feel like you just like want to win the argument because this is not an iron clad that.
I don't even want to win the argument. I'm just literally observing the facts that it is what it is, man, But.
It's actually and Miles, if people stop buying Tesla's, they're not going to buy other cars, so those jobs just go away and don't get picked up by any other car companies. So yeah, yeah, yeah, you're killing America with your criticism of that guy hiling Hitler and trying to privatize the US government. You're actually anti American with that with that criticism. Cool discomfort coo, yeah man.
Cool, thanks, nice mustache, tickhead, nice mustache, Dickheadia.
Let me just put a to like this, all right, a nice sash. Are you from New York or something? Yeah? I could be also just another one. We'll move off of Trump in the second act after the break, But I do just want to say his whole like fuck the Court's energy. Where he's you know, being like, let's sue these judges, let's impeach these judges who aren't on board. Is unpopular. As a CNN numbers guy Harry and Tim put it him, listening to the courts is more popular than Mother Teresa. It is all adults eighty four percent, which apparently does better than Mother Teresa, who you know, she's She's still Catholic, So people don't people don't trust that. Ultimately, eighty four percent of people are like, dude, stop trying to take right, stop trying to take over the government. Like the court. I guess everybody was just leaning on the courts thing. They're just like, yeah, but we got the courts. He can't overthrow the court. It truly was I trying. I heard that from people who were like scared, like Jesus, this guy's going to take over. I didn't realize that eighty percent of the GOP was also like, yeah, well, at least we have the courts. These are like early.
Luigi Mangione numbers, Like we're like, oh, it's a lot of overlap here, damn. Across the political spectrum. When like you're a seventy nine percent of Republican voters.
Republican voters, please, they know.
They're like, well then nothing if it's too oh that is actually bad. So I do think that I know that much about civics. If there's no law that zero church, I've seen the perch.
People seem uncomfortable with zero checks on his power. Yeah yeah, yeah, Well an independence eighty two percent think Trump should follow court rulings. Republicans seventy nine percent. I think Trump should follow court rulings when they go against him specifically.
I mean, this is like a thing too, like right now, like the doe, Like the courts are like, you cannot fucking just vapor vaporize the doe. And so now he just announced its like, well, I'm just gonna dismantle it. And so now the announcement is that you will be significantly downsized.
So there's that. Great. All right, let's take a quick break. We'll be right back, and we're back. We're back, and just a bit of an update to our earlier story because we were like, man, maybe it would be dumb if the Democrats went along with this spending bill and just kind of co signed whatever the Republicans were doing. Nobody wants that. Literally, nobody wants that except the Democrats. They're the only ones who still seem to be like, well we get points for being bipartisan. Yeah, so Chuck Schumer did it. He was like, let's let's hang in there.
Guy, collaborate with this fucking regime.
Let's see where they're going with this one. And uh, it has been very unpopular, to the point that people are calling for him to step down, and it's not what people called for, and it like people like, all right, all right, it's people are like, yeah, that actually sounds like a really good idea.
Yeah yeah, I mean like so Democrats also held town halls. Guess what, ug l y, Why the fuck are y'all not fighting these motherfuckers? It was ugly in there. Yeah, a lot of I saw a lot of clips. People are just so fucking pissed, Like, whether it's Schumer or at them, be like, how the fuck do you not do a fucking thing about this? Like what is going on with you guys? And you know, Chuck Schumer had to cancel his little book tour that he was gonna go on because everyone's gonna be all fucking mean to him.
I said, I didn't know that. I know that he had to cancel his book tour. I would be I'm not on board with anybody to sell a book when you're a millionaire. Yeah, maybe get your cousin Amy Schumer to help you launch that. Cool and cool And I like her.
The thing though, with like the Schumer stepping down things like you know, Pelosi has even been like not full throated defense, like like like not really committing to saying he should stay. There's already members who are just like, no, this needs to stop. They're more and more active, like liberal activist groups like you know, calling for him to step down. This is not the way. There's a there was a reporting from one of the excerpts in his book that this whole time, he held this belief that the Republicans were going to eventually just get rid of Trump because they were sick of him.
Jesus, that's like, that's that's been the like underlying sort of teen thinking, Yeah, how what fuck could Literally ten years ago he knew that that was no longer the case, literally a decade behind.
But I mean, yeah, it's these old ass people.
Like I do feel like as you age, like you don't really learn new things, like your core like gravitational center of reality is like an average is still an.
Average of all your experiences. It's not what you learned yesterday. It's a great it's an average of all your experiences, and these people just can't shit.
You learn in ten years means nothing when you're eighty years old. Yeah, exactly, that's the one eightieth or that's one.
Eight if they don't get that not a shit, not enough. Yeah, yeah, man, I keep hearing people being like, Guys, two thousand and eight, we all thought or two thousand and four we were like we're screwed, but four years later we got Obama, and it's this thing just swings back and forth, and like the Ezra Kleine and Derek I'm Sinner releasing a book about like how the Democrats can like come back by continuing to be the Democratic Party, it seems like, and they're just like basing everything around this idea of like it just kind of goes back and forth.
If this is anything as if this is still two thousand and four.
Yeah exactly. It feels like it's they don't realize. And I I really feel like as bad as it it's getting and going to get under Trump, like there's no the Democratic Party is like more unpopular, like they are as long as they continue with this shit where they're still like riding for some past like bipartisan bullshit, Like it's just not that's not going to get more popular. They're going to need to be taken down by like somebody who actually is like willing to fucking you know, upset the norms of the Democratic Party, like to the point that it might as well not no longer be the same party. Yeah, I mean, I just I don't.
Know, Like what is just historically reckless take to be like it's like two thousand and four, you're completely leaving out citizens united in two thousand and nine, two thousand tens. Right, Yeah, I guess if that also isn't a factor in this, like oligarchical fucking take sure, dude.
Yeah, Yeah, there's still the people who like but like swallowed at an early age, like their early inception moment that they just that's locked away deep in their unconscious is like anything that's not ultimately motivated by like profit and like you know, uh, economic growth and like markets is like unrealistic and childish, you know, and they just like can't get can't get past that.
Because it's the status quo. If they're hooked on that status quo.
They're hooked on that status quo.
That's stat quo.
Hey. Lastly, on some good news, I mean it's not so the word the story has happiness in the title of it. Yeah, so it must be good world happiness report is out and the US is dropping like a rock in terms of national levels of happiness. Finland continues to dominate eight years in a row. Mexico has entered the top ten, which I just I continue to think we should be kind of looking at Mexico for how this whole, like the way forward is what the Mexican government is currently doing. We can report from Brian the editor has just weighed in on the chat and said.
I'm happy, yeah in Mexico.
Congratulations, nice to be in number ten. We're number twenty four. Israel is number eight. Israel is number eight. Yeah, okay, but Miles, they used to be number five, so like it's been hard, It's been hard.
Okay, that's like, so I'm really interested in all I mean, I think that just speaks to like the perception of what is happening in their own country. And yeah, that's fantastic.
Great, uh so so great and fantastic for them.
Have you heard the stupidity of the Finland doesn't exist conspiracy theory?
No?
Oh Jack, Okay, let me play this for you. There are people out this hold on. This clip is gonna fucking do your head in. Okay. This is from like one of those like street interview tiktoks, like just check, just check this energy out about Finland.
Finland is not a real country. It is just a guy set up by the country of Japan.
So that they can do fishing and fish.
In the area that Finland occupies.
Fishes the ocean. Wait elaborate.
What so Japan wants to have a king spot that nobody knows about it, so they created the Guys of Finland.
This woman is in a white cowboy hat about.
Fish, big fishes, the fishing spot. Like, yeah, boats are yes.
On maps, you'll see the country Finland, but if you really go there, it's not. It's just there is no country to the east of Swedish. What about all the Finnishment, the Finnish people that are really Swedish. Have you ever met anybody from Finland?
I guess I haven't. No, have you No, I haven't got himn fucking bars, We're fox, dude. The Internet is so great? What it locked? What a place, What a time to be alive?
I love that.
I just a fishing conspiracy. It's and I.
Think because all of that is from like it was a joke that then took hold. Yeah, and people really began to believe it. It's it's really something else. It's really something else.
Yeah, like the birds aren't real, conspiracy that like twenty years from now there's going to be a civil war fought between the birds aren't real, and the Finland doesn't exist factions of the US population, just for some context. The ranking is calculated using a single life evaluation question called the Cantrill Ladder, which asks people to imagine a ladder with steps numbered from zero at the bottom to ten at the top, the top being the best possible life and the bottom being the worst possible one. Okay, And it asks on which step do you personally feel you stand at this time?
Oh, I'm not even standing. I'm laying down, my mouth open as a billionaire shits in my mouth from the top one.
That's I'm down here. They actually there's a line from the bottom step going around to the back up top. They're billionaires shitting off the top of the building into our mouths. And then we are actually asked to thank them. And if we can't thank them, it's actually called domestic terrorism. Yes, if we're actually ungrateful, if we give them a thumbs down in response to the shit that just landed on us.
Also, I'm looking at these rankings, dude, thing doesn't even fucking exist. Yeah, so, like, what are you trying to fucking say right now? This is all fucking This is all Japanese fishing proper. They want their own cool fishing spot anyway. Yeah, jeez, it's interesting to see how Like it's like one of those things like birds aren't real, where some people like, yeah, it's a joke, where a guy put that like it was a Reddit post about the weirdest shit your parents told you. Yeah, and then from there, yeah.
Dude, they want you to believe it's a joke. Yeah I know.
Yeah, Netflix is a joke.
Actually.
Oh man, now you're talking about my favorite comedy festival. All right, those are some of the things that are trending on this March twentieth. We are back tomorrow with the whole last episode of the show m HM. Until then, why don't you be kind to each other, Why don't you be kind to yourself? Get your vaccines. But while you still can get your flu shot, don't do nothing about white supremacy. And we will actually all tomorrow. Bye bye, MHM.