Humanity and Earth have been locked in an eternal struggle to see which can destroy the other first. But today is the one day we give it up for ol' roundy. It's Earth Day!

Jon Stewart reports on Al Gore and Leonardo DiCaprio's efforts to get the word out for Earth Day. Sam Bee talks to environmentalists to see if she can get them on her side. Lewis Black chokes on celebrity environmentalism. Matt Walsh learns about a corporate alternative to The Lorax. Jon breaks down President George W. Bush's Earth Day address, and finally decides to declare F*ck the Earth Day after all.