Trevor covers racism from high-profile Americans, Desi Lydic reports on a pro-Russia cyberattack on U.S. airport websites, and former D.C. cop Michael Fanone discusses "Hold the Line."
You're listening to Comedy Central coming to you from New York City. Please me city in America. It's nearly shown. The metaverse has like Danye get fooded from Twitter and Michael for noon. This is the Daily Show with Forever Everybody. Welcome for the Daddy Shop, Trevor, thank you so much for shooting in Thank you for coming out in Hutson, copt to see. Thank you for family, Thank you so much for being a Thank you so much you mean I thank you. See everybody, we have got a great show for you tonight. Mark Zuckerberg has just invented legs. Vladimia Putin is getting desperate, and in New Zealand, cows are to become taxpayers. So let's do those people. Let's jump straight into today's headlines. Right before we get into the big stories, let's catch up on a few other things going on in the world, starting with some big tech news. Mark Zuckerberg has just revealed that from now on, people will have legs in the metaverse. Yeah, and I, for one, I'm truly excited for what this means. Because first you get legs, then you will get feet. Pretty soon you'll be able to walk out of the metaverse and go literally anywhere else. In climate news, New Zealand has just announced a plan to fight methane emissions by taxing cows for their burps. And this is how much billionaires are winning in the world. Even cows are getting tax before them. And by the way, even if you support this general idea to try and slow climate change, you have to admit if you were a cow, you'd be pretty pissed about this. Oh, hold on, hold on, it's still my milk. Might be spent my whole life on death row. And now you you turn nipple bitches? Are gonna text me for pupping? Are you all driving a lecture cars? No? Are you all using solid panels? Now? No, you're still fold private chits. But I can text. Okay, well, how about this? He pitches? Take that you pitches in New Zealand, cars are angry all right. And in sports news, after it came out that NBA star Dreaming Green of the Golden State Warriors punched his teammate in the face during practice, Green has announced that he will be taking some time off, which is a great reminder for everyone. Do not punch your coworkers unless you want some extra vac aition time. All right, let's move on to some of the biggest stories of the day, which, for some reason, all involve racism. Yeah. I don't know if you guys have ever heard of racism, but it's a pretty hard thing these days. And by these days, I mean the last like thousand years. Now. For some reason, for some reason, it seemed like everyone was extra racist this weekend. I don't know, maybe because it's like a three day weekend, you know, people had a little more time to kick back and work on their racism. Whatever it was, it almost seemed like people were competing to see who could be the most racist. So let's dive in to all the competition for a segment we call the Amazing Racism. I have a first story involving racism. Hails from the Great States of Alabama. I know, I'm shocked to What makes this racism special is that it's from a senator, one of the best people in America, and he said out loud on TV. Senator Tommy tub of Alabama is facing a significant backlash from major civil rights groups for comments he made at a Trump rally over the weekend Serta Tumberville, calling out Democrats as being pro crime. He also suggested that people who want reparations for ancestral slavery aren't to blame for the crime. The Democratic Party, they have majority. They could stop this crime today. They won't crime. They won't crime because they want to take over what you got. They want to control what you have. They want reparation because they think the people that do the crime are old debt. Bullshit, they're not old debt. Yeah, you tell them, Timmy, that thing you just made up right now by reparations is bullshit. We can't have that freakning happening. I gotta say, people, I've heard racists say all kinds of things. I've heard them say that black people are criminals, and I've heard them say that reparations are reverse racism. But it takes a true racism innovator to combine both ideas at the same time. Now, this is like the stuffed crust pizza of racism. Because I knew you could have crust, and I knew that you could have cheese, but I know that you could put the cheese inside the crust that's holding the rest of the cheese. Because now the crust is holding the cheese. At the same time that this cheese is now. Now, if you are confused, if you're confused by what this man is saying, congratulations, it means you're saying But at his point is that Democrats want black people to do crime because that's basically reparations which the Democrats believe they deserve. And there are just two things I can think of off the top of my head. Off the top of my head. One, how does this argument explain black people who steal things from other black people, because then who's reparating who? And secondly, how is this man going to stand on stage and imply that all criminals are black? Huh? That is disgusting. Has the senator never watched Netflix? Huh? I'm not gonna stand here and let Tommy Chamberville erased all these white people's contributions. This is the real race to hit my friends, to make it seems like white people can't crime. How care you white people do crime? Just like any black guy's gonna make it seem like all my white friends and you you can do the crime. You hear me. You don't listen to these people say you can't, you can't do You do the crime. Look, you know what, while this is upsetting, you have to it's not exactly surprising. I mean, he's an Alabama conservative named Tommy Tubbleville. What would be surprising is if he got up on stage and he was like, I'd like to open today with my favorite passage from James bald When y'all. So that's our first story, and I hope you warmed up because this next one is a little more unexpected and it takes place in liberal l A. In Los Angeles, the big political issue right now is a blockbuster tape recording that could force three city councilors to resign. Nuri Martinez, a rising star in l A politics, potentially faces a career in ruins. The first Latina chosen to lead the Los Angeles City Council, caught on tape making racist and defensive comments during a redistrict in meeting with three Latino Democrats. At one point, Martinez talks about the black child of Mike Bonnet, a white council member, in Spanish, calling the boy a little monkey, white guy with the little black kid who's misbehaved, the kids bosting off the row over. There's nothing you can do him like a little white kid, which I was like, this kid need be down, Like let me, let me take him around the corner and then I'll bring him back. Whoa boy? Yeah, and Latina Democrats called the black son of a white colleague a little monkey was sing all around the walls. I'm sorry, bouncing all around the effing walls. Yeah, thank you for censoring yourself. I appreciate it. That was weird. I mean, I'm not sure she sensored herself in the right place. That was weird of her to be like councing off the f and wall was like a little monkey. You know. I think he would have a sense of the racism and just safe. I think that would be better. But to each their own, I guess I'm just fing crazy that way. You know. Also, like, do you know how racist you have to be to see a kid misbehaving and your first instinct is to use a racial slur against him. It's a little kid, all right. We all see kids of every race throw a tantrum or misbehave, and I'm I'm not trying to brag, but personally I hate all kids equally. Yeah, it's not it's not the color of their skin that makes them annoying. It's the content of their shitty character. What's especially wild about the story as well is that in the same conversation, she basically implies that because the kid is black, not white, he should be beaten so that he behaves. And I'm sorry, people, if you believe that black kids deserve to be beaten, you have no place being on the l A City Council. You clearly belong in the l A p D. But before we run out of time, there is one story that has the whole world talking. I'm referring, of course, to Kanye West, rapper, entrepreneur, and the guy who proved that not even black people can make the MAGA hat cool. Kanye has been drifting more and more to the right lately, from wearing a White Lives Matter shirt sitting down for an interview with Tucker Carlson, but over the weekend, Kanye drifted right off the deep end. Yeah formerly known as Kanye West, is now blocked from using Instagram and Twitter because of racist and anti semitic messages that he posted on Friday. Instagram was the first site to lock his account after Kanye post a text messages between himself and the rapper Sean Diddy Combs. In those messages, he accused Diddy of being controlled by Jewish people. After did he criticized the shirt Kanye was photographed wearing that red White Lives Matter. Then on Sunday, Kanye posted a series of tweets, once again targeting Jewish people, using the phrase deaf Con three. The rep start lashing out, tweeting, I'm a bit sleepy tonight, but when I wake up, I am going death Con three un Jewish people. The funny thing is, I actually can't be anti Semitic because black people are actually jew Also, you guys have toyed with me and tried to blackball anyone whoever opposes your agenda. Oh no, Kanye, you're gonna do it again. You're gonna do it again. I don't even know where to begin with this ship. I mean, promoting anti Semitism to your fifty million followers, not even joking about threatening to go death Con three on Jewish people, which, by the way, I know this is not the point, but that's not how you say it's. I know it's not the main issue here, I know that, but it's deaf Con three, al right, not deaf Conton three, right, deaf Con sounds like like a trade show where the unveiled the latest coffins or something. It's like, our newest model comes with Bluetooth. Now you can check on to make sure Nana's still dare just use the app dea card not to mention the deaf can scale goes from one to five. So def Con three is like in the middle. If you're trying to tell people how hard you're gonna go, that's just a weird way to do it. You know, I'm about to open up a can of whip bass, but I'm gonna put half of it in some tupe of war for later. You can warn I don't want to use all my whip bass at the same time. Also, it's funny that he starts his threat with I'm a bit sleepy tonight. What is that? What does anti semit? Doesn't make you tired? Is that why mega people love the my pillow guy? Is that what this is? But I will say, man, I feel bad for American right wingers, you know, because they're getting Kanye now. I think if they missed college dropouts my beautiful dog twisted fantasy graduation, you know, they missed all of their getting this Kanye. It's like getting to date the high school prom king, but decades off the high school. Yeah, it's like you remember Chad from high school. Well, he's got uncontrollable flatulence. Now, yeah, they might even tax him in New Zealand. So those are the contenders in this week's amazing racism. You've got a black guy hating on Jews, a white guy hating on black people, and a Hispanic woman hating on a white guy for how he raises his black kid. You've got like every combination of racism in there, and you could find that depressing. You could, and I would understand why. But I myself choose to see this side, choose to see all these things as the glass half full. You know, if everyone is being racist against everyone else, then that means that, no matter what kind of we are, racism is at least one thing that we all have in common. And what a beautiful thought that is. All Right, that's it for the headlines, But before we go to break, it's time to check in and all the latest social media trends with our very own Ronnie chating everybody funny kill, Good to see you again, my friends. Is happening online hey driver, thanks a lot. Before it began, I just want to check do you have any major announcements you want to make for any emotional, life changing decisions about your professional life that you might want to talk about before I guess started. Actually, yes, there is one thing that I've had on my stop. All right, no more announcements, no one, Just let me get through this one segment. We're becoming a surprise face meme again with a stupid curb your enthusiasm music, very original idiots, means of the comedy of lesser minds. Let's get to the social media trends or whatever this long weekend, it's fun times on the internet as usual. Kanye West going off the rails again. His beard is clearly not helping. He looks like kimbout half a slice, just sending out this tweet as we've already examined. Yes, a lot to unpack here. Uh. First of all, anytime you are writing something in lower case and then you put the race of a people in all caps, that's not a good place to be, okay, because even if you're saying something nice, it's not gonna read well. You could be saying like I want to wish a happy Hanukah to the Jewish people. It doesn't work, okay, And what's what's going on with this line? Also? Do you actually you? Also? I mean it sounds like you let the iPhone predictive text, right and manifesto for him. I do like this, So I do like the spaces in between, right. I think every racist rant needs a few blank spaces where we can project our own prejudices into and and if and if this wasn't chaotic enough, luckily for everyone, the world second weirdest person, Elon Musk, came in to calm everyone down, replying with this tweet, talked to you today and express my concerns about his research tweet, which I think he took the hot. You know, it's bad when Elon must thinks you're being unreasonable on Twitter? And I mean, is this how Elon is going to do content moderation when he owns Twitter. He's just gonna have a hot hot with every single person who tweets something racist because I don't know if you checked Twitter lately, because I don't think you're gonna have a lot of time to go to Mars if you do that, Okay, they're gonna be a little busy and what else is going on? Oh yeah, Zuckerberg, another billionaire maniac? Yo, Mack, why are you obsessed with the metaverse? The metaverse sucks. You made billions of dollars in real life. Now you're losing billions to create a fake life. So what Now there's legs in the metaverse? Oh wow, we got legs in the matter of verse? Now, yeah, you know what else? That's legs right here? That's we got legs here already. Okay, the guy who created an infinite universe that could be anything, and you made legs. Okay, not not jetpack legs, not teleporting legs, just legs, just legs. What else are you gonna invent in your magic world college debt joke? Even even even Kanye is looking at this going like, yo, what are you doing? Man? You're making how people look bad? And who here wants to be in a metaverse made by Facebook. I've never been on Facebook and said, you know what, I wish this was in three dimensions? How can I physically interact with this post from a sixty year old woman who was annoyed and no one spoke English at the drug store? What kind of dork with nothing but time on his hands would even be excited about the metaverse. All right, I mean, look at what people are tweeting about it. Look at this random idiots. I mean, wow, I just used the off for the first time. Mind blowing. I can't imagine what it will be like when it's basically real. You can't imagine will be like if it's real. Why don't you take off the headset? You just took a round. It's every right now, reality is right here. Who is this dumb acting idiot? Anyway back to you? I think I think that tweet made some good points. Ronnie chating everybody. I like that idea. All right, we come back. We're gonna find out, right, Vladimi a Pookin is acting out, so don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. It has been seven months since Vladimir Putin went death Con three on Ukraine, and in the last month, Ukraine has been kicking Russia's ass all up and down the map. They've defeated Russian soldiers across the front lines, they blew up a key supply bridge deep in Russian territory, and they even gave Putin's personal email to bed Bath and Beyond's mailing list. Anyway, another week of the war means another week of updates, so let's catch up on how it's all going in another edition of lad Gone Mad. After a series of defeats, Vladimir Putin has been so humiliated that it was just a matter of time before he lashed out, and yesterday he did just that, launching missile strikes against civilian targets all across Ukraine for the first time since the beginning of the war. Now, unfortunately for him, the missile strikes only seemed to have oldened the Ukrainian people who went right back outside off to the strikes to live their lives and get coffee. And if you ask me, that's a testament to how resilient the Ukrainian people are and to how addicted people out of coffee. These people were just at Starbucks, like, I know, missiles are coming, but pumpkins spice seasonally is very limited. But it turns out, it turns out a lot of people don't know this part of the story. Vladimir Putin and these people weren't just lashing out at Ukraine. No, they decided to take a piece of the wall to America. Lett s is investigating a coordinated cyber attack on the websites more than a dozen US airports, including LaGuardia, and Russian speaking hackers are claiming responsibility. LaGuardia was the first to be impacted around three yesterday morning, and as of last night, Denver International Airport's website was still being attacked. The websites were temporarily knocked offline. There were no immediate signs of impact to actual air travel. That's right, people, the Russians took out websites for some American airports. And please everyone, calm down, Calm down. I know we all log onto LaGuardia dot com to see the latest news about which terminal will be under construction for the next seventeen years, but today we will all have to discover which areas under construction for our itselves. Stay calm, that's stay calm. This is a major story, people, and from more on this we go live to our own desert lighting. Who is at LaGuardia right now, desilic everybody, what is the situation over there right now? Well, Trevor, as someone who has been a huge fan of LaGuardia's website ever since I found out it existed at this morning. Let me tell you it is chaos. Trash bins are overflowing, people are sleeping half naked on the carpet. Oh, no, desert. That's because of the website being down. No, this is always LaGuardia, but somehow it seems worse. Right now, your t s a pre check. You don't know what it's like. Let me tell you how bad this is. All the ladies rooms were closed for cleaning, all of them. I was forced to pee in one of those breastfeeding pods. Wow, I didn't know the breastfeeding pods have toilets. No, no they don't, and the babies were super judgy about it. So so does do you think this is all going down because of the website being attacked? Well, clearly something's going on here. There are three sunglass huts next to each other. And I just walked past a bathing suit store. What kind of psychopath buys a bathing suit at the airport? Did you not know where you were going? Anyway? The good news is I found the cinnabon that. Oh that's okay. Well, Deny, did you learn anything valuable that you can report to our viewers at home? Yeah? I'm not from a warrior from Apple. I'm sorry, DESI, there was there was cinnabon in your mouth. What did you say? Yeah, I can't. We can't hear what you're saying. DESI just like, yeah, that's a m surprisingly good anyway, Please do not come to LaGuardia unless you absolutely need to. Why would anyone go to LaGuardia if they don't need to? I don't know. For a cinema powerful reporting doesn't like like everybody. Welcome back to the day show. My guests Tom is they fill my DC Metropolitan Police officer who nearly lost his life defending the US capital during the insurrection on January six. He writes about that and policing in America in his new book Hold the Line, The Insurrection and one Cops Battle for america Soul. Please welcome Michael Pherone. Michael Pheron, Welcome to the Danni Show. Yeah, thanks for having me, Man, I appreciate it. Um, you have written a book that UM would have been remarkable even before January six happened. You know, you've lived a life in law enforcements. You you have a really interesting story in and around law enforcements. But there is no denying that January six is a day you know that America will probably never forget, and a day that will be etched into your memory forever. Some people have seen the footsage, and those who have have all said the same thing, It is harrowing. But you actually experienced that. If you wouldn't mind take me through not not what happened, but how you feel about people commenting on that day as if it wasn't a big deal. You know, many people say it wasn't that bad, it wasn't an insurrection, it wasn't this. This was just, you know, it was calm. People need to react. You were actually there, You were actually one of the people trying to stop those who are trying to come into the capital. What was your experience and how different is it from what people try and claim. I mean, I remember the brutality of that day like it was yesterday, and hearing people, you know, especially lawmakers elected, so called leaders of this country, downplay or deny the reality of that day. I mean to say it's infuriating is an understatement. I mean, it pisces me the off. Um. Yeah, I don't know what it what it felt like for you. I mean you you suffered extreme injuries. How are you doing now, by the way, I mean, I'm good, like physically, um mentally, I feel like I've I've had a lot of time to uh come to terms with what I experienced that day. But I mean, a big part of writing this book was not just to memorialize what I did, but also what so many other officers did that day. And uh, you know, there's a lot of them that are out there that are suffering in silence, that didn't get the acknowledgement that I've gotten, um and that have kind of been or at least feel that they've been forgotten because you were one of I think it was fifty officers who rushed to protect the capital during that moment. You were one of the many officers who are attacked by this mob who who was rushing in. One of the darkest ironies in some of that footage is you being beaten by a mob where they're holding a Blue Lives Matter of flag. You know, I've often said one thing that perturbs me in America is how people will use the idea of either the military or law enforcement to further their narrative. But it seems like they don't actually have that same reverence for actual law enforcement or military. You know, you see people veterans being homeless, or you see law enforcement treated like yourself. Do those people even acknowledge what was happening? Did they see you did did they acknowledge you as a human, could you communicate with them or or did it feel like they were going through you at all costs. I mean there was a point where, um, you know, I remember yelling out to the crowd that I had kids, and this is while I was being beaten and strut with a taser, and I did, uh, I think get through to maybe a handful of the individuals there, And they did try to, you know, offer some level of assistance to me. I mean I remember at one point they were actually fighting with other rioters to try to prevent them from, you know, continuing their assault on me. But you know, for the most part, I think they just felt like I was an obstacle and they were going to get through me and and any of the other authors that were there trying to protect the building and protect ourselves, uh, to you know, accomplish their goal, which was overturning a free and fair election. When you look at how lawmakers have responded, you know, in the in the book, you talk about this, and it's it's been it's been really scary and disappointing to see how lawmakers have spoken, either to you in privates or to any of the officers who were there. And it seems like the way they responded on that day and the things that they said behind closed doors are very different to what they now say when they're on TV downplaying everything that happens. You know, for instance, you're really critical of Lindsey Graham, for instance, and I'd love to know hasn't been strange for you to see him then publicly downplay the event offen saying to you you should have killed these people, and then publicly say it wasn't as bad as everyone says. Nothing shocks me anymore. After all this time that I spent not only is a police officer for twenty years, but the time I spent on Capitol Hill. I mean, it's unfortunate, I think, not just Republican lawmakers, although they do deserve quite a bit of um you know, the uh scrutiny that they're getting right now, but lawmakers in general and how they are indifferent to the people that they are elected to represent and serve. That was the main takeaway that I was that I got was, you know, people like Kevin McCarthy, Lindsey Graham, a lot of these lawmakers, they saw me as an inconvenience and they were indifferent to what my experience was and what the experience of many of the other officers that day were. Uh, And they were indifferent to the experience that, you know, what America is experiencing right now under their half asked representation. In the book, you you speak to so many of these ideas, and you have a really interesting journey, you know, like I didn't know about your your your history and law enforcement until I read this book, and you know, just talking about your tattoos and the work that you did working undercover narcotics and and how you know you had the nickname I think it was the spider Man, right, and and and you're not Tourious. We like I think you you're rock climbate. Do you still climb? Do you still have the skills? Yeah? I mean I wouldn't say I have the skills, but I give it a shot. Okay, okay, But you know, it was really interesting because like you you, you were, you were connected. It was it was almost you know, it was a double entange because you were connected and you know the people in the community knew you. But you also would climb up to perch yourself for for sting operations and to be in the right place for for for what you were doing. UM. What's interesting is how you talk about law enforcement in the book. It's it's a longer conversation than just January six, and you share some some really interesting insights about how you see the failings of American law enforcement and how it is incongruence, incongruence with what it's actually trying to do. You know, for instance, talking about how to bring down drug rates, drug crimes, drug usage, etcetera. You don't seem to be pro locking everybody up with every minor infraction. I'd love to know why. I mean, I learned pretty early on in my career. UM. I mean for me, I aspired only to be a a vice officer, to work in narcotics. I mean that was like the pinnacle. I never saught promotion. UM. Was not interested in supervising other officers. I can barely supervise myself. So I mean, for me, The pinnacle of my career was was when I went to Vice and like I said, I saw, you know, the the idea of going out and going into an area in which, you know, violent crime was prevalent, where open air drug markets existed, and locking up hundreds and hundreds of people. UM, that was not solving the problems. UM. It was not addressing violent crime. It was not addressing the open air drug markets. What I saw was UM, a need for much more surgical, uh precision strikes if you will, against you know, very specific individuals who were committing these violent crimes in those neighborhoods. UM quality over quantity unfortunately, you know, whether it was through laziness or um. You know, and again it is complicated. Law enforcement had um opted for you know, we we looked at success as the quantity of arrests, how many arrests were made in a specific area. That's how we determined, um that we were being successful in that area. But it wasn't you know, It's a lot of people might think it was not fueled by law enforcement. Law enforcement officials that actually came from you know, our city council and from the mayor's office. I mean, these these concepts, you know, I guess too. To extremeline the explanation, you would have citizens would complain about an area in which there was you know, a large amount of violent crime or drugs, and then you would have politicians would you know, receive those complaints and they would forward them onto the police department, and they would want to know what is the police department doing to address this issue. They want results now, They want officers out there, They want them out there making arrests, and they want to be able to go back to these citizens and say, well, we made these arrests and that's success. Um. So again, it's not you know, law enforcement has a role to play, politicians have their role to play, and citizens have a role to play. The issue is not as comp or as not as simple as uh I think a lot of people would um would think. And again, another big point that I tried to make in my book is that I feel like the politicians are failing us in that their role to play is to facilitate positive, constructive conversations between law enforcement and the people that were charged with serving uh. And right now, I don't feel like that's what's happening. It's a it's a really complicated journey, and um, I think it's uh, it's revealing, it is honest, and um it's a painful account of what you went through on that day. And as you said with the eight plus offices who also stepped up, thank you so much for taking the time, Appreciate you for being for having thank you part and will hold the line was available now wherever you find your books, Michael know and everybody. Let you take a quick frank, We'll be right back to talk of it. I can said my flat, Well, that's our show. It's night before we go, Before we Go, The Daily Show's official vote Demic two merch has just dropped. Proceeds from select items will benefit head Count, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization that promotes voter registration. So if you want to support Headcount and look fresh on election Day, scan the QR code and heads to the link below. Until next time, stay safe out there, and remember don't skip leg day because you'll need it. In the metaverse, What's the Daily Show? Weeknights and eleven ten Centraill earned Comedy Central in stream full episodes anytime, I'll paramount plus this has been a Comedy Central podcast