World Mental Health Day is tomorrow. Today’s Wellness Wednesday segment features Dr. Joy Harden Bradford, a clinical psychologist, host & founder of the mental health platform and podcast Therapy for Black Girls, and author of Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Power of Healing in Community. We dive into everything you’ve ever wanted to know about therapy but were too afraid to ask: how and when to start therapy, how to navigate the relationship with a therapist, what therapy is for, and what kind of therapy might be right for you.
Hello Sunshine, Hey Bessies. Today on the bright Side, we're joined by psychologist, author, and host of the award winning podcast Therapy for Black Girls, Doctor Joy Harden Bradford is here and just in time from Mental Health Day. She's going to answer all the questions we're too afraid to ask about therapy. It's Wednesday, October ninth. I'm Simone Boyce.
I'm Danielle Robe and this is the bright Side from Hello Sunshine, a daily show where we come together to share women's stories, laugh, learn and brighten your day.
Today's Wellness Wednesday is presented by Coligard.
Simone.
Tomorrow ten ten is World Mental Health Day, which, according to the World Health Organization, is a day dedicated to raising awareness and mobilizing efforts in support of mental health. So today we are dedicating Wellness Wednesday to mental health and specifically we're focusing on therapy.
Danielle, I feel like the word therapy means so many different things to so many different people. So today we wanted to set aside some time to ask all the questions you may have been afraid to ask and get answers from a therapist perspective. Questions like is my therapist judging me when I drop all my baggage at their door. What kind of therapy is right for me? And how do you know when it's time for you and your therapist to part ways? Mm?
Is my therapist judging me?
That's what I've always wondered.
I mean, you know, I talk about therapy a lot, and not in the way that I'm trying to like drop a quote from a therapist, but it's been such a helpful tool for me. I remember when I was younger, I felt frustrated all the time, and in my communication I would get an email and I would see I didn't know how to reply, or if I was in conflict with a friend or a loved one, I didn't know how to approach it.
And now it's not like those.
Things are any easier necessarily, but I feel like I'm so much less frustrated because I have communication tools. How do you feel because I know you've dipped in and out?
Yeah, this one. I've tried several different types of therapy, and I think that's an important part of the conversation. We talk a lot about one on one talk therapy, but there are so many different forms that can be helpful and that can serve you. And earlier this year, I tried group therapy and I was such a skeptic at the beginning, but completely blown away by the results at the end. And one thing the therapist told us before we walked into this experience was that you're going to be shocked by how much of your healing comes from watching other people here.
That's really cool.
I've tried CBT, which was my first introduction to therapy, and it was helpful. I don't know if it was the best for me. What I've landed on is gestalt therapy, and gestalt is like the practice. It's a regular talk therapy, but it's the practice of being in relationship to something all the time. You could even be in relationship to a tree or a chair. But that that has helped. I think I'm like relationally focused, so it makes sense. But there's still so many versions I want to try, and there's no one size.
Fits all approach. It's all super personal.
You know.
I have a lot of family members who refuse to go to therapy.
Oh no, And.
If you're listening, I'm not saying you all need it, but you need it maybe but maybe no, But what I've learned is that it is really personal. I think one of the hesitations I've heard from family members is it feels like it's opening Pandora's box. It can be very painful. I have to be honest. The first two years of therapy, I was sitting on my couch crying a whole lot. I still cry in therapy, but not like I used to. It is a little bit about opening Pandora's box. Not everybody wants to do that. Yeah, it's super confronting.
Well, hey, maybe this is a great episode to send to your family members who might be verra curious.
Well, I'm actually really sad.
I was way for this conversation and I can't wait to hear everything you chatted about with today's guest.
Yes, it's perfect timing in honor of World Mental Health Day. I truly just fell in love with doctor joy Hard and Bradford and the work that she does. I can see why so many people love her because she just has this like calming energy about her that makes you want to trust her instantly. She's a licensed psychologist, the author of Sisterhood Heels, and the founder and host of Therapy for Black Girls. I'm so excited for you and our Brightside bessies to hear this interview. Here's my conversation with doctor Joy, Hard and Bradford. Welcome to the bright Side, doctor Joy, Bradford, very happy to be here with you, Samo. So tomorrow is World Mental Health Day, and I think a lot of our bright Side besties who are listening have questions about therapy, where to start, and what the benefits are. So I'm thrilled that we get to talk to you today because you are such an essential voice in this space, as evidenced by the fact that in twenty twenty one you want a web Be Award for your podcast Therapy for Black Girls. And in your acceptance speech, you said, I am because we are. Tell us what those five words mean to you, Yeah, I.
Think it really means that community is the backbone of everything that we do, and I feel like that has kind of been a model for my life. I really want to be of service to people through mental health awareness and breaking the stigma related to mental health. And so those five words felt like a great acceptance speech for a speech that only requires five words.
And I found this quote on your website too. It said a lot of times when we talk about mental illness or mental health. I think there's a lot missing from the conversation. What did you think was missing from the conversation when you became a therapist, and what did you think that you could contribute to it.
I think that I've always felt that there was a lot missing as it relates to communities of color. So we know that a lot of the interventions, a lot of the theories that we use as therapists are all kind of created for and by straight white men in and so there's of course a lot that is missing from the conversation where you're talking about using those same techniques on people who are not straight white men. And so I think that there's a lot of conversation and information missing as it relates to what therapy looks like in communities of color, how symptoms may even look different in our communities. And so I really have aimed to have therapy for black girls, and the work that I've done as a part of my career be an effort to kind of create some of that work, right, to be able to kind of give voice and look at different ways that healing happens in communities of color.
Okay, you have to forgive me joy because I'm on my period right now, so my emotions are all over the place. So I'm probably going to get emotional during this interview. But I got emotional as I was preparing for this interview with you because I was raised by a black mom who I don't think ever had the option of doing therapy when she was a little girl, and she went through some stuff, and her sisters went through some stuff, and her parents went or some stuff, but it was always swept under the rug. And as I was preparing for this conversation, I was really struck by this idea of the generational impact of therapy and this specific question, how would my life look different if my mom had gotten therapy as a young woman. Can you speak to the collective healing aspect of this?
Yeah, that feels so important. I appreciate you sharing that with us today and even thinking about my own family, right, like, when I think about, like, oh, what kinds of conversations did we have about mental health? There weren't any directly, but I definitely remember, like my mother and my aunties talking about their nerves being bad.
Right, So now I know that what they were.
Describing was anxiety, but at the time they didn't have language for that, right, And it sounds like the same thing with your mom and your family, right, Like so many things that have happened in our lives and in our family's lives have been traumatic, but we didn't use the word trauma, right, Like, I think for a lot of us, it was just what life was. And so it is only now in looking back that we were able to say, like, oh, that was really a big deal, and more care should have been taken, more support should have been offered after that thing happened. And so I think the fact that we are having these kinds of conversations today, the fact that we are talking to our girlfriends and our children and our sisters now about these things, means that our mothers and grandmothers also are feeling some of that, right, Like they are also able to reimagine, like, oh, that thing that happened to me was traumatic, and like I can give myself grace and I can take care of myself when difficult things happen. And so I think that that is really where some of that generational healing happens, in that we are now having these conversations, we're going to therapy. We're doing the kinds of things that our mothers and grandmothers didn't even have language for.
You know, the statistics back up everything you're saying about the disparities and the stigma surrounding mental health issues, particularly in communities of color. I mean, statistics show that most therapists are white women, twenty five percent of therapists identify as minorities. And you've been so outspoken about the importance of having a therapist who can provide culturally informed services for patients. Why is that piece of this so important.
I think there's a lot of research that talks about even like depression, how depression symptoms look different in communities of colors, especially Black women, right, So, I think in a lot of Black women, depression often presents as a more physical kind of symptoms and more stomach aches, more headaches, And when you think about it, it kind of makes sense because we have not had the luxury of being able to sit in a corner and cry like that is not typically our lived experience, and so of course symptoms may look very different. But if you don't have a provider who knows to look for a different range of symptoms, then things can be missed, and so it's really important that we are at the table in terms of being providers, so that we are kind of being attuned to the ways that our culture shapes how we talk about mental health. The relationships we have to faith and spirituality. I think have been demonized when people of color are not actually the providers because they don't have the understanding and the context to the role that faith and religion has in our lives. And so I think that we just add much more to the table and much more to the conversation that make sure that people are then getting the care that they actually deserve.
You are named a game changer by Glamour. You are truly one of the pioneers who is actively reducing the stigma surrounding mental health and therapy. When you survey the landscape, where do you think we are with that stigma right now? I think we've come a very far away.
Like, I think we've done a lot of incredible work, but I think that there are still more work to be done, right, Like, I don't know that we're ever really finished. Just by the fact that we are having this conversation, so many young people are sharing their experiences with therapy online. Every time somebody who's a public figure or somebody who has a large platform talk about like their own struggles with mental health or mental illness, it makes it more okay for other people to say, like, oh, I didn't know that this was a thing that you could talk with the therapist about, or oh, I don't feel so alone because other people feel this way as well. And so I think the more that we talk about it, the more that we share our experiences, we're continuing to really chip away at that stigma.
Well, you brought up young people being really engaged in this conversation, and I think there's a really interesting dynamic there. It feels like, and I would need to look at the research on this, but it feels like we are the first generation that is prioritizing therapy in such a powerful way. Why do you think that is? Like, why do you think things are changing with us and with the youth? You know?
So, I think some of it is related to school counselors in school. So I don't know about you, but when I was in school, like the school counselor really was only in charge of like scheduling, like they didn't actually talk to you about any kind of mental health concerns. School counselors now actually are there to tend to the socio emotional needs of students, like dealing with big feelings and how to meditate and all of these kinds of things that are really helpful in giving kids language to describe their interior experiences. I also think that, you know, because so many of us are aware of the kinds of things that there could be helpful for, we're also talking to our kids about it or getting kids support when they needed, you know. I definitely think a byproduct of the pandemic was that so many people were struggling, right and we know that kids especially were really hit hard by being pulled away from their social connections and you know, all the things that they were used to, and so a lot of kids needed some additional support. And so I think because people are recognizing that kids have feelings that they need to tend to as well, it is easier for young people to continue to talk more about this much more openly.
It's time for a short break, but we'll be right back to wellness Wednesday with doctor joy Hard and Bradford. And we're back with doctor joy Hard and Bradford. For people who have never done therapy before, can you talk a bit about the value of a therapist, like, what does a therapist uniquely bring to your interior experience as opposed to just talking to a friend offloading to a spouse. What are the benefits here? I think it does.
Largely feel like a very foreign experience. Even though so many of us are talking, you still don't really know what's happening behind the closed doors. Are in the private zoom, right, And I think the difference of talking to a therapist versus like a friend or somebody else in your life is that it is much more about you. So when you're talking to a friend, like you might vent and talk about what's going on with you, and there's also the expectation that your friend is going to talk about what's going on with them, yes, whereas with a therapist, they're there really to just hold space for you and your concerns, which I think is also a little weird because it's like, I'm sharing all this information about you, but I know nothing about what's happening with a therapist one hundred percent. That's how it's designed, that's how it's designed to be, right, and I think it is a great experience because so many of us don't actually slow down or have those spaces where like people are actually centering our needs, and so therapy, I think is really great to be able to just give you space to talk through whatever is going on with you.
It's actually a place to be selfish, yes, which is kind of nice. And as you get older, it's rare to find those opportunities as you add more responsibilities into your life. Exactly. You know you brought up the awkwardness of like sharing all of your dirty laundry with a therapist, right, I have so been there. I think anybody who has done therapy has felt that feeling of like that first meeting with a therapist. It's so scary it takes a lot of bravery. I got invited to this group therapy retreat earlier this year, and at the beginning of it, they asked all of us to pick a spot in the room based on how scared we were to start this experience. None of us knew each other. A couple of people knew each other, but it was mostly strangers, and so it was only me and my friend Mariah, who are all the way on the terrified side of the scale, isolated from everyone else, and we were like, I don't want to talk to y'all. I'm not sharing my secrets. I don't know any of y'all. Y'all gonna go around town spread my business. But once I started to feel the trust and trust the process and open up my heart, the healing from that point on was magical. And I think the healing in therapy, if you surrender to it, is truly magical.
Yeah, So, first of all, I love that you talked about like a group therapy experience, because group therapy is actually my favorite way to practice therapy because I think what you just said right, like, there's probably something that happened in that weekend or week however long y'all been together that it might take six months to a year for you to get to with an individual therapy, And so group therapy really just kind of pours gasoline on healing in a lot of ways because there are just so many more people to kind of project off of, and all of this stuff is like in the room at the same time.
So I love that you talked about it. On that note, they were like, watch, sixty percent of your healing is going to come from watching someone else's healing, and it was so true everything you said. I stand ten toes down on it because it was like six months of therapy packed into five days. I'm always afraid, though, that therapists are going to judge me and think my baggage is worse than everyone else's. So will you share what that first meeting is like? From a therapist perspective.
The concern around your therapist judging you is a very common one. So I just want to first normalize this idea that it is very weird and awkward to be talking to a stranger about some very personal stuff. But I also want you to trust that your therapist has been trained to be able to hear all these things that you feel like and because it's your personal experience, you feel like nobody else in the world has ever felt this way or has had any of these experiences. But as a therapist, we've also had the experience of hearing multiple people share things that are probably very similar to what you're sharing, and so even if the content is not the same as like another client, we've heard a lot of things, and so you can trust that you are not shocking your therapists that we've done enough training to be able to hold whatever it is that you come into the room with. But I also want to give you permission that if you feel judged by your therapist, to tell them that, because I think that that is also a great way to just practice advocating for yourself. Therapy, I think is cool in so many different ways. But one of my favorite things about therapy is that it allows you to have some difficult conversations that you might not have in other places in your life. So being able to tell the therapist, who is in a bit of an authority role, hey, I'm kind of feeling judged by this thing that I shared with you, and then you be able to talk to your therapist about that and them share whether they are are judging you or not. Really is a great conversation that provides a model for you to have those same kinds of conversations and other places in your life.
That piece that you mentioned about feeling like no one has ever experienced problems like mine, and no one's going through my struggles, nobody understands, and then only to find out that as a therapist you see some of the same recurring themes come up over and over again. Wow, what a powerful reminder and something to keep in mind as we're spiraling. You know, what are some of those recurring themes that keep coming up?
So I think anxiety has been for years the number one the most diagnosed mental health condition, and especially kind of coming out of the pandemic. I think the pandemic also provided this opportunity for people to really reimagine and re examine their values. I think lots of people are trying to come to groups with I thought that this thing was really important in my life, but now it isn't so much, and so what does that mean for the rest of my life? So lots of transitions like purpose in life kinds of things, and lots of anxiety.
For patients who are looking for a therapist who is a person of color, will you tell us more about the Therapy for Black Girls database, Lo, this is huge?
Yeah, yeah, So we have over six thousand therapists across the country and in Canada who really love doing great work with black women and girls. So they don't necessarily see black women and girls exclusively, but they really want to make sure that they are able to be found. And so I'm just so excited that, like so many people have become members of our directory and really want to be found by clients. And I think when you are looking for a therapist, it is a bit like dating, right, Like you are trying to see who's going to be the best fit for you. And I encourage people even though I know it's so hard, because, especially if you've been wanting to do therapy for a long time, you finally have the bravery to make that call, and then you maybe go to a couple of sessions and you're like, oh, I don't know that this person is actually a great fit for me. That it's totally okay because the first therapist is not necessarily going to be the best fit for you, And so I think it is okay to kind of continue to try different therapists until you find somebody who's actually going to.
Be a great fit for you. How do you know when it's the right fit?
Yeah, you know, I often use this example, you know, you sometimes like we go to a dentist who doesn't have the greatest bedside manner, but they're like an excellent dentist, and so we go because it's like, oh, I only see them once or twice a year. Right with your therapist, It's likely not going to be that you're gonna want to find somebody who has a great bedside manner or somebody who you really feel like you click with, because you're likely going to be meeting with them on a weekly or maybe every other week. Basis, the number one key to success in the therapeutic relationship is the relationship that you have with your therapist. So no matter how we practice, no matter what our degree is in, if the relationship with the therapist is strong, you're more likely to see success in therapy. I do think it's also really important to make sure that the therapist has training in the thing that you are coming to them for. Right, So you might find a therapist's website and follow them on social and you're like, oh, I really love their personality, But if they're not trained in the thing that you are needing assistance with, it's probably not going to be helpful for you.
So let's say that you've been going to therapy for a minute, you have a good relationship with your therapist, it can still sometimes be hard to bring up the issues that you want to talk about. What would you say to someone who has something that they know that they need to unpack with their practitioner, but it feels difficult or shameful to bring it up in their session.
Yeah, So first, I think it is important to be okay that it is slow to warm up to some people, right, Like that is a part of what it means to develop healthy relationships with other people is that you kind of feel them out, like, okay, can I trust this person? And so that's totally okay that you don't then necessarily feel comfortable sharing everything in your first session. But if you are feeling anxious or you're a little worried and you know there's something you want to share that you just can't quite bring yourself to share, I would say to share that, to share that there is something I want to tell you and it's feeling very difficult for me to bring it up, And then you will likely have an incredible conversation with your therapist about what's making it difficult. In what other places in your life do you have difficulty disclosing you know, things like this, who has made you feel bad about this thing in the past, Like, there's incredible, excellent work that can be done without you ever even bringing up the thing, and then I think that those conversations then make it easier. They're almost a gateway to you feeling okay, this person gets me. I think I can trust them, and then it is much easier to share whatever the thing is.
I love that advice exactly when it comes to the idea of like ending a relationship with the therapist. I thought you had some really interesting thoughts on this on your Therapy for Black Girls podcast. This you talked about this online phenomenon of people saying that they were fired by their therapist. Can you unpack that a little describe a center car on which a therapist would tell a client that they won't be continuing the therapeutic relationship.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
And I think for a lot of clients that feels very hard to hear sometimes because of what we talked about earlier, like this idea that I'm too much and so even this therapist now feels like I'm too much for them to work with.
But there are some very good.
Cases why a therapist might feel like I'm not doing the best service to you because maybe you are presenting with a concern that I don't actually have expertise with, right So maybe you came in talking about anxiety, and you know, I felt like I had a good grasp on that, but then as we continue to talk, maybe there's something else going on that I don't have the appropriate training, and it would be more damaging for me to kind of continue working with you as opposed to referring you to somebody who does have training in whatever the thing is. So I think when people are talking about being fired, usually what has happened is that the therapist feels like, Okay, I've maxed out on my skills here and I don't know that I'm actually going to be the best person to help you anymore.
Well, I think it's important to remember that there are so many different types of therapy too. Like I had a really successful experience with EMDR therapy, which involves this track, this movement between your eyes and honestly it's kind of magical and mystical. I don't know how to explain it, but it helps you repackage and reprocess your trauma. There's you know, attachment based therapy, there's cognitive behavioral therapy. How do people figure out what is the best kind of therapy for them? Like, where do you start in terms of being your own best advocate.
Yeah, and I think when people see all of that, it can be really overwhelming, especially if you're new to therapy. Now, I think for people who are kind of therapy savvy, maybe they work with therapists before they kind of know like, Okay, I already tried cognitive behavioral and now I want to try EMDR are something different. But I think as a new person kind of coming into therapy, which you really want to look at is do they have success helping people through whatever it is that you want them to help you through, because there are lots of different ways to get to healing, as we already talked about, right like, yeah, you know, the way I practice therapy may look very different from the way that somebody practices emd R, but that doesn't mean that you can't still get good results regardless of.
How we practice. We have to take another quick break, but we'll be right back with doctor joy Hard and Bradford and we're back. As much as we have normalized this conversation around therapy and mental health, and you've been a huge part of that, there are still some barriers in the way. For a lot of people. Therapy can be expensive. I know that in the past, when I haven't been able to afford it, it's been easy to be like, well, I guess I can't do therapy right now, or I guess I can't even heal right now. What are some practices that we can try by ourselves that might be helpful in our healing process if therapy isn't on the table right now.
So I want to first just offer people some resources because to your point, like you are correct that therapy can be very expensive, But there are lots of organizations that offer either vouchers for therapy or like half therapists who offers some of their sessions at a much discounted rate. So the Loveland Foundation is a great organization that provides vouchers, especially for women of color who are interested in therapy. The Open Path Collective is another organization that has therapists who offer their services at a sliding scale. I also encourage people to make sure that you're looking at your benefits. So if you are employed at a place that has like an EAP program, sometimes you can get like six to eight, maybe even twelve sessions completely covered without even having to use your insurance because your workplace participates in an EAP program, So definitely make sure you check out those options if you do actually want to go to therapy. But cost is an issue. But to your question around like what kinds of things can we do otherwise to take care of our mental health. So the number one one thing that I think that people overlook in terms of taking care of their mental health is sleep. So I think many of us are really not getting enough sleep, or if we are getting sleep, it's not restorative, and so paying attention to getting six to eight hours of quality sleep every night can do.
Wonders for your mental health.
So having a good sleep hygiene routine, trying to go to bed at the same time every night, waking up at the same time in the morning, even on the weekends, even though I know that's hard, but really getting your body into that routine I think can really really be good. Physical activity is also really good for our mental health. So there's all this research that talks about the endorphins and the serotonin that we really experience and like get a boost from when we are just even doing light physical activity. So just going for a walk or you know, kind of brisk walk in your neighborhood or my favorite, which is hula hooping in the middle of my kitchen, Like, any kind of physical activity is really good for your mental health. And then making sure that we are intentional about our social connection. So isolation and loneliness it's a really big hindrance to our mental health, and so making sure that we're staying connected to people, that we're letting people know how we're doing, is a great way to protect your mental health. Well to your point, sisterhood, friendship, community can be completely life changing, and you wrote a book all about that, Sisterhood Heals, a love letter to Black women and the transformative nature of sisterhood. What did you discover as you were writing that book. I discovered just how important black women have been to my life and how important we typically are into each other's lives, right, like in the book is really a celebration of who we are to one another, but also an invitation to how we can do that even better. I think, if anything else that we have learned through the pandemic is that the only way to get through difficult times is together. And so the book is really a guide to how we can do a better job of showing up for one another.
Someone the other day was asking me about this quote that I said, joy is a suit power, And the only way that I could think to explain it was really in the context of black women and the black women who raised me, and you know, seeing my auntie who's still out a smile on her face even though she was dealing with cancer, or my mom hosting these magical gatherings and these like powerful times of connection even though she was supporting my dad through his really difficult health struggles. What does that phrase joy as a superpower mean to you?
Yeah, I appreciate you sharing those examples, and I think joy is the thing that allows us to get through the more difficult times right now when the world feels so difficult, so many tragedies, so much stress, and we can feel guilty about even trying to connect with joy because it feels like that doesn't feel like a good thing to do when so many bad things are happening. But joy is really what allows you to continue to show up for those times. It's what is restorative, it's what refused us, and it's really important for us stay connected to joyful things even despite difficult things happening in the background. And so I think that that is another mental health practice that we can, you know, incorporate into our lives is to stay connected to joy and be intentional about creating joyful experiences, even if it is just going for a walk on the weekend or having a nice couple of hot chalk with like, whatever those little things are for you, making sure that you're adding that to your schedule.
I want to end our conversation, doctor Joy by talking about the results of therapy, because it's often hard to predict how therapy is going to change us. I mean, sometimes people make big life changes, they blow up their lives after having these realizations and discoveries and therapy. And then another side effect or byproduct of therapy that we don't often talk about is that healing itself can be isolating. Sometimes those realizations and revelations that you have in therapy are going to cause you to take action and perhaps isolate yourself from people in your life for are toxic and who are not a part of your healing. Can you talk a little bit about what we can expect from therapy, how it's going to change us. Yeah, I mean I feel like you said a mouthful.
There's a moone because you're right, Like, sometimes we learn things about ourselves about how our relationships to other people actually are not in the best interests of our mental health, and so we decide to maybe put some distance there. But it also opens up your capacity to connect with other people who may be a better fit for you.
Right.
It also allows you to develop a different kind of support system that actually helps you to thrive as opposed to limits your possibility. So I think that it can mean that you are leaving some things behind, but it also means that you are opening the door for lots of incredible things.
But it can be painful, Like I.
Don't want to kind of override this idea that it can be really difficult to kind of tear down all these pieces that maybe are familiar, which is why many of us stay there because they're familiar, even if they are not the healthiest for us. And it can be differ to create space for something that is new, even if it is healthier. And so part of what therapy will be is allowing you to build the resources and build the support to support this life that is on the other side of therapy. And so typically when you're working with your therapist, they are not going to take something away from you without giving you something to replace it. And so that's what therapy really is. It's about you having a better idea of the patterns that you find yourself in, as it relates to behaviors, as it relates to relationships, and then realizing and choosing to do something different.
How do we break those patterns? That's a million dollar question, right, it really is.
And I think the first part is recognizing the patterns, right, like when you realize, like, oh, I keep dating the same person even though they look very different, they come from very different places. Like they're typically patterns that we fall into in our lives, and sometimes we can't see them because we're too close to it. And so I think the first step is recognizing when you've gotten yourself into a pattern and then also understanding like how that pattern develops. And so for a lot of us, I think it's some childhood stuff, right, Like it is something that we're trying to work through from our childhood, but we're working it out in real time with other people in our lives, and so therapy really helps you to recognize the pattern, understand why it's happening, and then put some other things in place so that you don't keep repeating that pattern.
Can I ask you a personal question, where are you in your healing journey? Because whenever I see or meet a therapist, I'm like, oh, they're healed. They got to figure out they graduated, they graduated.
Or absolutely not, absolutely not someone. So I think, you know, most therapists who are self aware also have their own therapists. So on Tuesdays at two o'clock, I am talking in the virtual zoom room with my own therapist because I think you realize, like every new phase of my life, I have realized I've needed an additional level of support. You know. I think in grad school, like I had like lots of imposter syndrome, and so I was talking to my therapist about that, and recently entrepreneurship and like writing the book, and like all of that has unlocked all of these other like insecurities and like worries that I didn't have language for before because they weren't things that I was doing. And I'm the mother of two small boys eight and ten year olds, and so being a mother and like all the challenges they have as they grow throughout their life also unlocks of these other things for me, and so I find that as I grow in life, as I you know, transition in into different roles, I need different levels of support. So I'm not at all one hundred percent healed, nor is any of us.
Well.
Doctor Joy, thank you so much for sharing the bright side of therapy with us today. On the bright side, You're welcome. This has been a pleasure. Doctor Joy Harden Bradford is a licensed psychologist, speaker, and the host of the podcast Therapy for Black Girls, as well as the author of Sisterhood Heals, The Transformative Power of Healing in Community.
That's it for today's show.
Tomorrow, we're keeping the mental health conversation going with Anna Marie Tenler. She's the author of the New York Times bestseller men have called her crazy. Thank you to our partners at Coligard, the one of a kind way to screen for colon cancer in the privacy and comfort of your own home. Talk to your doctor or healthcare provider, or go to coliguard dot com slash podcast to see if you are eligible to order online. If you're forty five or older and at average risk, ask your healthcare provider.
About screening for colon cancer. With Coli Guard.
You can also request a col of Guard prescription today at coliguard dot com.
Slash podcast, join the conversation using hashtag the bright Side and connect with us on social media at Hello Sunshine on Instagram and at The bright Side Pod on TikTok oh, and feel free to tag us at Simone Boyce and at Danielle Robe.
Listen and follow The bright Side on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
See you tomorrow, folks, Keep looking on the bright side.