Dramaturgically speaking, it's hard for me to imagine myself on one end of the spit roast when it feels as though I should be witnessing and celebrating Andrew and Jay.

Dramaturgically speaking, it's hard for me to imagine myself on one end of the spit roast when it feels as though I should be witnessing and celebrating Andrew and Jay.

You're right, especially during Pride.

You're right, especially during Pride.

Oh yes, that's said all stuff.

Oh yes, that's said all stuff.

I'm like a fucking hepera.

I'm like a fucking hepera.

You know what, This is a safe space to talk about relationships, love and sex. Now, let me tell you something messy. So I was on Grinder on the grid and you know, like on Grinder you can put like a like a profile name for yourself, you know, like some people will say, like, you know, I saw one that's the ie top, Like it's like I like iPhone, but I top very very clever, very cute. What are some other ones? Best hole ever? Is one that I recently saw? In fact, let me just open grind or see what where Let's just open up the let's open the grid and see what what wonderful names people have come up with. I don't have a name on mine. I'm one of those I don't you know it is what it is? Uh? You can you know? There's a photo there, so either you like it or you don't. But let's see what This one says, say, hi, Texas cowboy, what else down for a head? You know, very very clear, direct wine and anime. That's you know, just tell me, tell me what you try to do, which I think is is valuable. Want no Republicans? That's what you ask? Why the politics that did before you make it? Spit? That's a fair one. This one says eyebrows so like I again an iPhone but eyebrows h And another one says fill me up anyways, So like this is you know how people will will will market themselves on the grid, But recently I saw one that said die with a smile. I just don't know. Listen, I'm not I'm not an expert in any way. I'm not like a matchmaker. I by no means am I a grid expert or a grind or expert. But I would say that if you are trying to market yourself, die with a smile is probably not to me, the most appropriate or the best. It's not the best foot forward. How about that, It's just not the I just don't think you're gonna You're not. You're not gonna catch a lot of fish with that name. You're gonna catch a lot of dick with that, you know what I'm saying, or maybe you what I don't know, like because I'm also thinking, well, like if this person was actually, you know, dangerous, would they actually say it? They probably would just say Rob or something not Rob, not like Rob you but like Robert, you know, or Kevin or something like something non spicuous. Die with this smile. I'm that gives me pause. But then I'm also like, now I'm gaslighting myself, like should it give me pause? Like the person who writes die with a smile shortly is not trying to kill anybody? That maybe is that a reference to a show or And that's why I'm like, am I crazy? Because what a killer? Say they're a killer? I feel like that would but maybe that's their kink. Maybe their kink is that they're a killer and they want you to to doubt them.

You know what, This is a safe space to talk about relationships, love and sex. Now, let me tell you something messy. So I was on Grinder on the grid and you know, like on Grinder you can put like a like a profile name for yourself, you know, like some people will say, like, you know, I saw one that's the ie top, Like it's like I like iPhone, but I top very very clever, very cute. What are some other ones? Best hole ever? Is one that I recently saw? In fact, let me just open grind or see what where Let's just open up the let's open the grid and see what what wonderful names people have come up with. I don't have a name on mine. I'm one of those I don't you know it is what it is? Uh? You can you know? There's a photo there, so either you like it or you don't. But let's see what This one says, say, hi, Texas cowboy, what else down for a head? You know, very very clear, direct wine and anime. That's you know, just tell me, tell me what you try to do, which I think is is valuable. Want no Republicans? That's what you ask? Why the politics that did before you make it? Spit? That's a fair one. This one says eyebrows so like I again an iPhone but eyebrows h And another one says fill me up anyways, So like this is you know how people will will will market themselves on the grid, But recently I saw one that said die with a smile. I just don't know. Listen, I'm not I'm not an expert in any way. I'm not like a matchmaker. I by no means am I a grid expert or a grind or expert. But I would say that if you are trying to market yourself, die with a smile is probably not to me, the most appropriate or the best. It's not the best foot forward. How about that, It's just not the I just don't think you're gonna You're not. You're not gonna catch a lot of fish with that name. You're gonna catch a lot of dick with that, you know what I'm saying, or maybe you what I don't know, like because I'm also thinking, well, like if this person was actually, you know, dangerous, would they actually say it? They probably would just say Rob or something not Rob, not like Rob you but like Robert, you know, or Kevin or something like something non spicuous. Die with this smile. I'm that gives me pause. But then I'm also like, now I'm gaslighting myself, like should it give me pause? Like the person who writes die with a smile shortly is not trying to kill anybody? That maybe is that a reference to a show or And that's why I'm like, am I crazy? Because what a killer? Say they're a killer? I feel like that would but maybe that's their kink. Maybe their kink is that they're a killer and they want you to to doubt them.

I don't know.

I don't know.

This is terrible, but I just know that I wouldn't I wouldn't go. But that said, I also say this, you know, the grid is the grid, and so no matter what, you're going to somebody's house and it is a stranger. So I guess like what I can give this person is credit for being honest about their intentions, because you know, I've listen. I remember one time I went to somebody's house or apartment. I was in New York at like the witching hour. It's like four thirty five in the more, you know, like with that veil between sunlight and you know, the darkest the night is and the before the light right whatever, it is, not a lot of great people are out at that time. And I went to this place and I swore when I got there, I really thought this man was gonna kill me. But I was so horny. And maybe that's what we don't talk about enough. Obviously he didn't kill me, but like his his apartment was killer vibes. I'm not like it was. It was like a horder, like late night. Why are you on the grid? Well? Why, I guess, why are either of us on the grid at four point thirty? And I should have left, but so horny and maybe maybe maybe that's on me, not him, and maybe we should uh, maybe that's a discussion we need to have that people make dumb decisions, that post Nott clarity is a real thing. Sometimes I don't know who needs to hear this, but sometimes before you make that call before you go over to that person's place. You should you should bust a nut because die with this smile. I'm just saying like that to me, regular is crazy. But there is a version of me that at you know, four thirty in the morning, sees die with a smile and it's so horny and goes, oh I would, I would if it's some good dick. I'm happy to die Like that's crazy, it's crazy. Which I've had that too, where I've separately I've been getting throat fucked like which I have been in my life, but like there have been times where I'll be getting throat fucked to the point where like I almost can't breathe, and I think to myself, if this is how I go out like work, like I'm so happy, just crazy, I'm saying, all love, this's crazy, Like you gotta tap safe for it. Well, there's no safe for it. There's a dick in your mouth, but you a double tap or something you know, to just like say it's too much dick. But I be sometimes I'd be like, hey, this is how I go like you can't like pleasure all that to say, the small should not be your uh, your grinder name there should you should? You should find something better, something not as a killer forward, unless you are in fact a killer, in which case keep it because I think that that will, you know, warn the folks. I maybe made this work, maybe so so I think I'm landing at this person can't be a killer, because to write die with a smile would be evidence. And I think killers want to get away with it. They don't want to tell people that they're doing it. I think I don't know much about killers, so you'll have to. You know, I don't watch a lot of those movies, scary movies. Really. If you know me, you know I cannot handle a horror movie. I don't like it. I don't like I don't like it. I can I can handle Gray's Anatomy. Slice the bitch open and fix them, you know what I'm saying. If you won't slice the bitch open, fix her, I'm here for But if you just slicing bitches left and right for fun, nah, babe, that's not for me. That's not That doesn't settle my soul. I'm saying all this and our guests today are in a horror movie that I will see because it's a horror comedy. I like, I like a comedy, but you know what I'm saying, like you just be killing you know, you know the movies, not not the funny ones, the ones where they just be stabby, stabby, killy killy for no reason or because they got a chip on their shoulder. I Rememberink, we've seen that movie. Wh I'm talking too much, but I'm gonnall you anyway, that movie Valentine. This is like I was in middle school and this movie came out. It's that dude who I think played Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I think it was his movie. Anyways, that movie is like somebody's like going around killing these girls, these ladies, except for one girl doesn't get killed. Turns out Angels the one killing them because they made fun of him in middle school. Baby, you want to talk about bully prevention, bullying prevention? That ooh ooh. Once I saw that, Once I saw, once I understood what revenge was. That movie taught me about revenge, and once I understood that, I was like, Oh, people are crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not. I'm not. I don't. I don't hold a grudge like that. I really do forgetting things. But I understand that people don't. So I'm gonna be I'm gonna make sure that I'm nice to everybody, because I'm not trying to get slashed twenty years later because some shit I said to you when we were ten. Absolutely not. I don't really know what we're talking about. Die with a smile. That's what we're talking about. By the way, welcome to the show. This is tell me something messy. I was afraid to some people call me messy mom. You could call me a bit. You won't die, I who like, I'm not gonna like I would. I never understood that in the movies that we the black folks. Oh but I did. Just tell y'all I went to that man's house. Okay, well maybe I would die first. Okay, Well, get the show started, baby. You know what that means. It's time for a guest. Now, while they get situated, we'll get our messy. Key key started with a Hoe manifest sto repeat after me aloud or in your head. Grant me the serenity to unpack my shame, the courage to heal, the wisdom to know that sex is not about penetration, the audacity to advocate for my pleasure and boundaries, the strength to not call my ex that fuck boy, fuck girl, or fuck they, for it is better to masturbabe by myself in peace than to let someone play in my motherfucking face. Let the community say ho helujah. I am so excited to have Nick Kroll and Andrew Rynolds on the show. Nick Kroll has established himself as one of today's most sought after creators, writers, producers, and actors in both film and television. Kroll co created, writes, produces, and performs over his seventy five voices on the Emmy Award winning Netflix animated series Big Mouth, which is based on his childhood. As Big Mouth comes to an end, he recently launched another series, this time for FX, called Adults. He executive produces under his Good At Business banner and also directs. Andrew Rannolds is a Grammy Award winning and two time Tony Award nominated stage film and television actor who can soon be seen in Lena Dunham's upcoming Netflix comedy series Too Much. Jim Rashes, philm Miss You Love You opposite Alison Janney, and co hosting Great American Baking Show for Roku. Rannolds is best known for his role as Elijah Krantz in the HBO series Girls opposite Lena Dunham, and also as Matthew on Big Mouth, and currently you can see Nick and Andrew starring opposite each other in their new horror comedy I don't understand you. And before we start this conversation, I do want to take a moment to step out that this is so exciting for me. I have always said, you know that this podcast really exists because of my time on Big Mouth. I was a writer on Big Mouth, also voiced Walter the Lovebug was part of the spin off, and I just learned so much about not just comedy, of course, comedy, right like the comedy giants on that show, but compassion and curiosity and how do you talk about the taboo things, or the hard things, or the gross things, or the weird things, or the sexy things. How do you talk about it with all the laughter and joy that you can muster, but also with compassion and heart and kindness. And so, you know, tell me something Messy has a direct thread and line to Big Mouth, And so to have both Nick and Andrew on the show today is really exciting. When I interviewed to be a writer on the show, one of the things they were talking to me about was the Matthew story. And Matthew, you know, coming out to his mother, and you all know my relationship to my mother. And so it's just a full circle moment, you know, to twenty nineteen be a little twenty eight, twenty nine year old stepping into becoming a TV writer, and now you know, twenty twenty five, having Nick, my old boss, and Andrew Reynolds join us on the show. It's just ugh, it's so beautiful. Dreams come true. I guess all that to say, Please continue following your dreams, continue to dream big because you never know, you never know where it'll take you. So without any further a deal, please help me. Welcome Nick and Andrew, Hi bekji Hi, here we are. We're doing this.

This is terrible, but I just know that I wouldn't I wouldn't go. But that said, I also say this, you know, the grid is the grid, and so no matter what, you're going to somebody's house and it is a stranger. So I guess like what I can give this person is credit for being honest about their intentions, because you know, I've listen. I remember one time I went to somebody's house or apartment. I was in New York at like the witching hour. It's like four thirty five in the more, you know, like with that veil between sunlight and you know, the darkest the night is and the before the light right whatever, it is, not a lot of great people are out at that time. And I went to this place and I swore when I got there, I really thought this man was gonna kill me. But I was so horny. And maybe that's what we don't talk about enough. Obviously he didn't kill me, but like his his apartment was killer vibes. I'm not like it was. It was like a horder, like late night. Why are you on the grid? Well? Why, I guess, why are either of us on the grid at four point thirty? And I should have left, but so horny and maybe maybe maybe that's on me, not him, and maybe we should uh, maybe that's a discussion we need to have that people make dumb decisions, that post Nott clarity is a real thing. Sometimes I don't know who needs to hear this, but sometimes before you make that call before you go over to that person's place. You should you should bust a nut because die with this smile. I'm just saying like that to me, regular is crazy. But there is a version of me that at you know, four thirty in the morning, sees die with a smile and it's so horny and goes, oh I would, I would if it's some good dick. I'm happy to die Like that's crazy, it's crazy. Which I've had that too, where I've separately I've been getting throat fucked like which I have been in my life, but like there have been times where I'll be getting throat fucked to the point where like I almost can't breathe, and I think to myself, if this is how I go out like work, like I'm so happy, just crazy, I'm saying, all love, this's crazy, Like you gotta tap safe for it. Well, there's no safe for it. There's a dick in your mouth, but you a double tap or something you know, to just like say it's too much dick. But I be sometimes I'd be like, hey, this is how I go like you can't like pleasure all that to say, the small should not be your uh, your grinder name there should you should? You should find something better, something not as a killer forward, unless you are in fact a killer, in which case keep it because I think that that will, you know, warn the folks. I maybe made this work, maybe so so I think I'm landing at this person can't be a killer, because to write die with a smile would be evidence. And I think killers want to get away with it. They don't want to tell people that they're doing it. I think I don't know much about killers, so you'll have to. You know, I don't watch a lot of those movies, scary movies. Really. If you know me, you know I cannot handle a horror movie. I don't like it. I don't like I don't like it. I can I can handle Gray's Anatomy. Slice the bitch open and fix them, you know what I'm saying. If you won't slice the bitch open, fix her, I'm here for But if you just slicing bitches left and right for fun, nah, babe, that's not for me. That's not That doesn't settle my soul. I'm saying all this and our guests today are in a horror movie that I will see because it's a horror comedy. I like, I like a comedy, but you know what I'm saying, like you just be killing you know, you know the movies, not not the funny ones, the ones where they just be stabby, stabby, killy killy for no reason or because they got a chip on their shoulder. I Rememberink, we've seen that movie. Wh I'm talking too much, but I'm gonnall you anyway, that movie Valentine. This is like I was in middle school and this movie came out. It's that dude who I think played Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I think it was his movie. Anyways, that movie is like somebody's like going around killing these girls, these ladies, except for one girl doesn't get killed. Turns out Angels the one killing them because they made fun of him in middle school. Baby, you want to talk about bully prevention, bullying prevention? That ooh ooh. Once I saw that, Once I saw, once I understood what revenge was. That movie taught me about revenge, and once I understood that, I was like, Oh, people are crazy. I'm not crazy. I'm not. I'm not. I don't. I don't hold a grudge like that. I really do forgetting things. But I understand that people don't. So I'm gonna be I'm gonna make sure that I'm nice to everybody, because I'm not trying to get slashed twenty years later because some shit I said to you when we were ten. Absolutely not. I don't really know what we're talking about. Die with a smile. That's what we're talking about. By the way, welcome to the show. This is tell me something messy. I was afraid to some people call me messy mom. You could call me a bit. You won't die, I who like, I'm not gonna like I would. I never understood that in the movies that we the black folks. Oh but I did. Just tell y'all I went to that man's house. Okay, well maybe I would die first. Okay, Well, get the show started, baby. You know what that means. It's time for a guest. Now, while they get situated, we'll get our messy. Key key started with a Hoe manifest sto repeat after me aloud or in your head. Grant me the serenity to unpack my shame, the courage to heal, the wisdom to know that sex is not about penetration, the audacity to advocate for my pleasure and boundaries, the strength to not call my ex that fuck boy, fuck girl, or fuck they, for it is better to masturbabe by myself in peace than to let someone play in my motherfucking face. Let the community say ho helujah. I am so excited to have Nick Kroll and Andrew Rynolds on the show. Nick Kroll has established himself as one of today's most sought after creators, writers, producers, and actors in both film and television. Kroll co created, writes, produces, and performs over his seventy five voices on the Emmy Award winning Netflix animated series Big Mouth, which is based on his childhood. As Big Mouth comes to an end, he recently launched another series, this time for FX, called Adults. He executive produces under his Good At Business banner and also directs. Andrew Rannolds is a Grammy Award winning and two time Tony Award nominated stage film and television actor who can soon be seen in Lena Dunham's upcoming Netflix comedy series Too Much. Jim Rashes, philm Miss You Love You opposite Alison Janney, and co hosting Great American Baking Show for Roku. Rannolds is best known for his role as Elijah Krantz in the HBO series Girls opposite Lena Dunham, and also as Matthew on Big Mouth, and currently you can see Nick and Andrew starring opposite each other in their new horror comedy I don't understand you. And before we start this conversation, I do want to take a moment to step out that this is so exciting for me. I have always said, you know that this podcast really exists because of my time on Big Mouth. I was a writer on Big Mouth, also voiced Walter the Lovebug was part of the spin off, and I just learned so much about not just comedy, of course, comedy, right like the comedy giants on that show, but compassion and curiosity and how do you talk about the taboo things, or the hard things, or the gross things, or the weird things, or the sexy things. How do you talk about it with all the laughter and joy that you can muster, but also with compassion and heart and kindness. And so, you know, tell me something Messy has a direct thread and line to Big Mouth, And so to have both Nick and Andrew on the show today is really exciting. When I interviewed to be a writer on the show, one of the things they were talking to me about was the Matthew story. And Matthew, you know, coming out to his mother, and you all know my relationship to my mother. And so it's just a full circle moment, you know, to twenty nineteen be a little twenty eight, twenty nine year old stepping into becoming a TV writer, and now you know, twenty twenty five, having Nick, my old boss, and Andrew Reynolds join us on the show. It's just ugh, it's so beautiful. Dreams come true. I guess all that to say, Please continue following your dreams, continue to dream big because you never know, you never know where it'll take you. So without any further a deal, please help me. Welcome Nick and Andrew, Hi bekji Hi, here we are. We're doing this.

Thank you for that lovely introduction.

Thank you for that lovely introduction.

All right, before we get too far, let me give you our messy mandates. Okay, so things get to be on process. Any thoughts or opinion shared have the right to shift, evolve, change today, tomorrow or ten years from now. And if during the kiki something feels too personal or unintentionally offends, we use the safe word foosball, which gives us a second to pivot and address accordingly.

All right, before we get too far, let me give you our messy mandates. Okay, so things get to be on process. Any thoughts or opinion shared have the right to shift, evolve, change today, tomorrow or ten years from now. And if during the kiki something feels too personal or unintentionally offends, we use the safe word foosball, which gives us a second to pivot and address accordingly.

Sound good, sounds great?

Sound good, sounds great?

That sounds great?

That sounds great?

Okay, perfect. Let's start with a lube breaker, a little game of fuck mary block. I'll give you some prompts. You'll tell me which one you fuck, which one you marry, and which one you would block. Sound good? Perfect? First one is aisle seat, middle seat, window seat, fuck mary block? Nick?

Okay, perfect. Let's start with a lube breaker, a little game of fuck mary block. I'll give you some prompts. You'll tell me which one you fuck, which one you marry, and which one you would block. Sound good? Perfect? First one is aisle seat, middle seat, window seat, fuck mary block? Nick?

Tell me what that window seat every time?

Tell me what that window seat every time?

No?

No?

Yeah, I want to lock that window seat. I want to marry that window seat, and then I want to block it because it's just too it gets too intense for me.

Yeah, I want to lock that window seat. I want to marry that window seat, and then I want to block it because it's just too it gets too intense for me.

Yes.

Yes.

This tells us a lot about how Nick rolls Andrew.

This tells us a lot about how Nick rolls Andrew.

What if you chose, would you choose a middle seat?

What if you chose, would you choose a middle seat?

Would I choose a middle seat? No? No, no, I would definitely block the middle seat. I would marry the aisle seat, and then I would I would fuck the window seat. I think the aisle seat, as I get older is becoming more important to me because I do like to be able to pee when I want to pee, because I want to be able to get up and not like excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. So if I think the eyel is better.

Would I choose a middle seat? No? No, no, I would definitely block the middle seat. I would marry the aisle seat, and then I would I would fuck the window seat. I think the aisle seat, as I get older is becoming more important to me because I do like to be able to pee when I want to pee, because I want to be able to get up and not like excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. So if I think the eyel is better.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do either of you have a trick for cutting off conversation with a stranger, like you sitting down next to somebody Like I just had this experience where I sat down next to a man and I was like, fuck, he's gonna want to talk like he's He was like, well, good morning, and I was like no, no, no.

Do either of you have a trick for cutting off conversation with a stranger, like you sitting down next to somebody Like I just had this experience where I sat down next to a man and I was like, fuck, he's gonna want to talk like he's He was like, well, good morning, and I was like no, no, no.

No, oh no no no no no. I think you have to you have to bring that you switch on your AirPods to your big cans, oh, because then you have to be like it's such a visual, the big headphones. It's a visual that like I'm not here for you, babe, and then you pop the edible in.

No, oh no no no no no. I think you have to you have to bring that you switch on your AirPods to your big cans, oh, because then you have to be like it's such a visual, the big headphones. It's a visual that like I'm not here for you, babe, and then you pop the edible in.

I think I give off very not friendly, not mean, but I don't give off I am here to chat on the plane vibes really at all. I feel like you, Andrew, you could, I could see you off like maybe like I'm I'm I'm here to have a little.

I think I give off very not friendly, not mean, but I don't give off I am here to chat on the plane vibes really at all. I feel like you, Andrew, you could, I could see you off like maybe like I'm I'm I'm here to have a little.

Andrew, little smiley. Are you smiling? And you ask some questions, you ask some follow up questions. Maybe I used to do a thing.

Andrew, little smiley. Are you smiling? And you ask some questions, you ask some follow up questions. Maybe I used to do a thing.

I used to when I I was living in New York and I dated this guy who lived in Cambridge, in Boston, and I used to take the train up all the time, and I had a trick that I developed so people wouldn't sit next to me on the train, which was when they would. When the train would stop, I would violently air drum while people were looking for seats.

I used to when I I was living in New York and I dated this guy who lived in Cambridge, in Boston, and I used to take the train up all the time, and I had a trick that I developed so people wouldn't sit next to me on the train, which was when they would. When the train would stop, I would violently air drum while people were looking for seats.

That's brilliant.

That's brilliant.

And I would like, I had my headphones on and I would just like air drum, and then people would walk by and look at me and be like no, and then it would see And sometimes I could do it all the way to Boston and like no one would sit by me, and I would just like wait until the train stopped, and like knew people were coming on, and I'd just like start drumming.

And I would like, I had my headphones on and I would just like air drum, and then people would walk by and look at me and be like no, and then it would see And sometimes I could do it all the way to Boston and like no one would sit by me, and I would just like wait until the train stopped, and like knew people were coming on, and I'd just like start drumming.

You know how Like some people when you're driving, they'll like and they want to drive in the carpool in They'll have a dummy like in the seat next to them.

You know how Like some people when you're driving, they'll like and they want to drive in the carpool in They'll have a dummy like in the seat next to them.

Uh huh.

Uh huh.

I'll bring like a dummy on the plane. I'll buy a ticket for dummy, but I'll have it like sort of bloodied, and I'll sort of be I'll be in a fight with it. I'll be with a bloody dummy. And then people tend to not want to sit next to that, so.

I'll bring like a dummy on the plane. I'll buy a ticket for dummy, but I'll have it like sort of bloodied, and I'll sort of be I'll be in a fight with it. I'll be with a bloody dummy. And then people tend to not want to sit next to that, so.

Much is it? Is it inflatable?

Much is it? Is it inflatable?

Yeah, the co depending bloody dummy that I travel with, which is confusing when I'm with my family then, but whatever.

Yeah, the co depending bloody dummy that I travel with, which is confusing when I'm with my family then, but whatever.

The dude you gotta do for the airplane period. Fuck Mary Block cuddling making out massage.

The dude you gotta do for the airplane period. Fuck Mary Block cuddling making out massage.

I'm gonna marry the making out. I'm gonna block the cuddle, and I'm gonna fuck the massage. I mean, yeah, that's what.

I'm gonna marry the making out. I'm gonna block the cuddle, and I'm gonna fuck the massage. I mean, yeah, that's what.

Yeah, Yeah, that sounds right. Fuck that massage. Have the ending.

Yeah, Yeah, that sounds right. Fuck that massage. Have the ending.

Yeah, I think Andrew and I I'm on the I'm on the exact same page.

Yeah, I think Andrew and I I'm on the I'm on the exact same page.

I think I'm with y'all. I love a make out last one. Fuck Mary Block sucking toes, locking ears, spanking that ass.

I think I'm with y'all. I love a make out last one. Fuck Mary Block sucking toes, locking ears, spanking that ass.

Oh yeah, I'm definitely gonna lock the toes. I'm blocking the.

Oh yeah, I'm definitely gonna lock the toes. I'm blocking the.

Toes, blocking the toes.

Toes, blocking the toes.

I'm gonna yeah, I'll marry the ass and I'm gonna fuck the ears.

I'm gonna yeah, I'll marry the ass and I'm gonna fuck the ears.

Really, we really got on big mouth that Jay like to suck Lola's dirty little fucking toes all the time. That was a real thing.

Really, we really got on big mouth that Jay like to suck Lola's dirty little fucking toes all the time. That was a real thing.

That's a real thing on the animated series as low.

That's a real thing on the animated series as low.

It was like always fun to be like a little you know, But I think I'm ultimately gonna.

It was like always fun to be like a little you know, But I think I'm ultimately gonna.

Dirty little.

Dirty little.

This little piggy and straight in your mouth bitch.

This little piggy and straight in your mouth bitch.

So, Nick, do you think that when you die and there's like an Emmy's in memoriam, that it's going to be a clip of Lola.

So, Nick, do you think that when you die and there's like an Emmy's in memoriam, that it's going to be a clip of Lola.

Questions something like that.

Questions something like that.

By making Emmy's memorial, it will be my voice as a dirty little girl.

By making Emmy's memorial, it will be my voice as a dirty little girl.

Fucking tone.

Fucking tone.

By the way, y'all won the game and you win my unconditional love. You won. It's crazy. Look at that.

By the way, y'all won the game and you win my unconditional love. You won. It's crazy. Look at that.

Yeah, crazy, we did it.

Yeah, crazy, we did it.

You did it you guys. If you have problems, you can email me at tell Me something Messy at gmail dot com. Speaking of which, Nick and Andrew, you have this messy ass movie? Can you tell me about it?

You did it you guys. If you have problems, you can email me at tell Me something Messy at gmail dot com. Speaking of which, Nick and Andrew, you have this messy ass movie? Can you tell me about it?

No, we start in the movie.

No, we start in the movie.

I don't understand you. It is a messy movie. We uh me and Andrew are. We've been together like ten years and we go to Italy. We're trying to like kind of re like give me a little new spark to marriage our our kid. We've been trying to adopt a child unsuccessfully. We got scammed. And we go to this uh like old lady's house in the middle of nowhere in Italy to have like a delicious anniversary meal. And then we just start murdering people, not entirely in perp.

I don't understand you. It is a messy movie. We uh me and Andrew are. We've been together like ten years and we go to Italy. We're trying to like kind of re like give me a little new spark to marriage our our kid. We've been trying to adopt a child unsuccessfully. We got scammed. And we go to this uh like old lady's house in the middle of nowhere in Italy to have like a delicious anniversary meal. And then we just start murdering people, not entirely in perp.

It starts as an accident and then it just snowballs, as it so often does.

It starts as an accident and then it just snowballs, as it so often does.

As it does, as it does, you kill one, you have to kill.

As it does, as it does, you kill one, you have to kill.

More, accidentally kill one person, and it becomes this very sort of farcical film about like how far will these two guys go to start a family and how much do they love each other and how much do they want this kid? And it's a it's a you know, it's a I think it's like a very fun sort of mashup of several different styles. And you know, Nick and I have I think that would sort of drew us to it initially was that it was so many different things and it kind of starts off in one style and then very kind of quickly pivots into something else and then kind of becomes, you know, uh, a farce, wouldn't you say, Nick? I mean, it becomes like pretty farcical in some ways.

More, accidentally kill one person, and it becomes this very sort of farcical film about like how far will these two guys go to start a family and how much do they love each other and how much do they want this kid? And it's a it's a you know, it's a I think it's like a very fun sort of mashup of several different styles. And you know, Nick and I have I think that would sort of drew us to it initially was that it was so many different things and it kind of starts off in one style and then very kind of quickly pivots into something else and then kind of becomes, you know, uh, a farce, wouldn't you say, Nick? I mean, it becomes like pretty farcical in some ways.

Uh, you can, it's pretty fartsicle. You have old Italian man on popsicles and then we eat them.

Uh, you can, it's pretty fartsicle. You have old Italian man on popsicles and then we eat them.

Oh, I love it, love this. This is this is my kink. I love this perfect.

Oh, I love it, love this. This is this is my kink. I love this perfect.

I mean obviously the list no, the listeners know that popsicle.

I mean obviously the list no, the listeners know that popsicle.

And I'm gonna put in my mouth everyone else. We've actually talked about sport schools here, which is where you haven't heard sport schools. Uh, it's where you more specifically, what you do is you take your your juices. You'll come whatever it is and a little juice to it, put it in a popsicle thing and you freeze it and then you can give it to your partner knowingly, no, no, knowingly you would tell them that this is okay.

And I'm gonna put in my mouth everyone else. We've actually talked about sport schools here, which is where you haven't heard sport schools. Uh, it's where you more specifically, what you do is you take your your juices. You'll come whatever it is and a little juice to it, put it in a popsicle thing and you freeze it and then you can give it to your partner knowingly, no, no, knowingly you would tell them that this is okay.

You never know, you never do somebody with your.

You never know, you never do somebody with your.

Never just like Frozer, like Jackass.

Never just like Frozer, like Jackass.

But yeah problem, yeah, like Devo did it.

But yeah problem, yeah, like Devo did it.

Yeah, yeah, but it is. It is a It is a kinky thing that people do. They they you know, love on their partners squirts, their frozen squirts.

Yeah, yeah, but it is. It is a It is a kinky thing that people do. They they you know, love on their partners squirts, their frozen squirts.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Yeah, I don't know how you would do with the fart though.

Yeah, I don't know how you would do with the fart though.

We're learning so much today, Nick.

We're learning so much today, Nick.

Yeah, there's that girl you did you know that? Do you guys? Hear that story with that girl who like bottled her farts jarred up or farts sell them online? Yeah, and she got like something went wrong.

Yeah, there's that girl you did you know that? Do you guys? Hear that story with that girl who like bottled her farts jarred up or farts sell them online? Yeah, and she got like something went wrong.

Something something was already wrong, well, like making making real money and then I think probably overproducing and like something like some listeners.

Something something was already wrong, well, like making making real money and then I think probably overproducing and like something like some listeners.

You guys, if you want to email, let us know, but like something like overproduction. There was an overproduction and something went wrong.

You guys, if you want to email, let us know, but like something like overproduction. There was an overproduction and something went wrong.

So she was far too much.

So she was far too much.

Yeah, they she was eating consuming something making your fart too much because she had a man was there, so she had to apply.

Yeah, they she was eating consuming something making your fart too much because she had a man was there, so she had to apply.

Wow, because she had to supply the farts and put them in the jars. I wonder how many she was doing a week?

Wow, because she had to supply the farts and put them in the jars. I wonder how many she was doing a week?

Do we know this person?

Do we know this person?

I'm trying to think, do you guys know who Evanka Trump is? Now?

I'm trying to think, do you guys know who Evanka Trump is? Now?

Don't don't say name, don't.

Don't don't say name, don't.

Nick the next ni a lass well half?

Nick the next ni a lass well half?

Yeah? Got it? Perfect for here? Perfect? Shall we do some mess email?

Yeah? Got it? Perfect for here? Perfect? Shall we do some mess email?

Yes, answer questions.

Yes, answer questions.

Perfect lovely well. As always, the missions remain anonymous. This is a big mouth question. Somebody wrote this in so here it is. They said, would you spit roast me while I'm dressed as Jay, Nick as Lola and andrew S. Matt remind Nick that it is Pride month, so he needs to choose extra wisely or he will be getting bad press. What do we think?

Perfect lovely well. As always, the missions remain anonymous. This is a big mouth question. Somebody wrote this in so here it is. They said, would you spit roast me while I'm dressed as Jay, Nick as Lola and andrew S. Matt remind Nick that it is Pride month, so he needs to choose extra wisely or he will be getting bad press. What do we think?

Okay, so would you would I Spina?

Okay, so would you would I Spina?

And Andrew is dresses Matt and this person is dressed as Jay? Would you spit roast.

And Andrew is dresses Matt and this person is dressed as Jay? Would you spit roast.

I mean, of course I.

I mean, of course I.

Have.

Have.

Yeah, I'm such a slave to the word though, I have to say in in the you know, the last episode of the show, no spoilers. This show's out now a few weeks. Lola witnesses Jay, you know, give Matthew a blow job. So it diegetically dramaturgically drama. Dramaturgically speaking, it's hard for me to imagine myself on one end of the spit roast when it feels as though I should be witnessing and celebrating Andrew and Jay.

Yeah, I'm such a slave to the word though, I have to say in in the you know, the last episode of the show, no spoilers. This show's out now a few weeks. Lola witnesses Jay, you know, give Matthew a blow job. So it diegetically dramaturgically drama. Dramaturgically speaking, it's hard for me to imagine myself on one end of the spit roast when it feels as though I should be witnessing and celebrating Andrew and Jay.

You're right, especially during Pride.

You're right, especially during Pride.

That's said all stuff. I'm like like a fucking pepper, you know what I mean, Like, you know what I mean, I'll do what I gotta do.

That's said all stuff. I'm like like a fucking pepper, you know what I mean, Like, you know what I mean, I'll do what I gotta do.

Yeah, for Pride, for Pride, you're all.

Yeah, for Pride, for Pride, you're all.

That's all it is.

That's all it is.

It's for Pride the Ultimate ally.

It's for Pride the Ultimate ally.

Absolutely, the iconic Ally.

Absolutely, the iconic Ally.

That's my wrestling character, the Ultimate. It's like the Ultimate Warrior. But I'm just an out like.

That's my wrestling character, the Ultimate. It's like the Ultimate Warrior. But I'm just an out like.

You're just supporting the other wrestlers, advocating for their for a better work condition, elevating, amplifying. Absolutely, yeah, period. Okay, this question says how many flesh lights is too many? Fleshlights to own. I saw a great question heart journalism. I saw three on my boyfriend's counter, and that is three more sex toys than he told me he owned. I'm kind of hurt. Help so two parts, how many sex toys? Is too many sex toys? And then also just like are guys allowed to have sex toys? Is that? Like? Why is that something to be hurt about?

You're just supporting the other wrestlers, advocating for their for a better work condition, elevating, amplifying. Absolutely, yeah, period. Okay, this question says how many flesh lights is too many? Fleshlights to own. I saw a great question heart journalism. I saw three on my boyfriend's counter, and that is three more sex toys than he told me he owned. I'm kind of hurt. Help so two parts, how many sex toys? Is too many sex toys? And then also just like are guys allowed to have sex toys? Is that? Like? Why is that something to be hurt about?

First of all, they're just she or he is specifically saying there were three flesh lights.

First of all, they're just she or he is specifically saying there were three flesh lights.

Right, there are three flesh lights, which I think is a lot of flesh lights.

Right, there are three flesh lights, which I think is a lot of flesh lights.

It seems like that seems like too too many, Like I think one is fine.

It seems like that seems like too too many, Like I think one is fine.

Yeah right, yeah, I feel like only one.

Yeah right, yeah, I feel like only one.

Unless he has like relationships with.

Unless he has like relationships with.

Each of them.

Each of them.

Is it like Jane's pillows where he has like a different emotional relationship and like scenarios and like you know that he has with each of those flesh lights.

Is it like Jane's pillows where he has like a different emotional relationship and like scenarios and like you know that he has with each of those flesh lights.

That could be true, Like he's named them each.

That could be true, Like he's named them each.

It's like he's like Polly with flash lights, like he's in a relationship with all of them.

It's like he's like Polly with flash lights, like he's in a relationship with all of them.

Yes, And maybe that's why this person is hurt, because she wants to be involved in this relationship with her boyfriend's flashlights. She wants to hear of the polycule, the poly fleshed cule.

Yes, And maybe that's why this person is hurt, because she wants to be involved in this relationship with her boyfriend's flashlights. She wants to hear of the polycule, the poly fleshed cule.

Yeah, but that's tricky.

Yeah, but that's tricky.

I mean, I think it's I think it's okay that you have them, but yeah, that might be too many. This just reminds me though, of like when I was like eighteen and I and I went into a like a sex store for the first time, and I saw that you could buy specific porn stars penises and they were selling a Jeff's unis and it was like a mold of his dick and you could buy it and like do stuff with it, I guess, or just have it. I don't know, but I had never and I guess that's a very that's a very common thing. And in fact, I've gotten as birthday gifts for people. They sell kits that you can make your.

I mean, I think it's I think it's okay that you have them, but yeah, that might be too many. This just reminds me though, of like when I was like eighteen and I and I went into a like a sex store for the first time, and I saw that you could buy specific porn stars penises and they were selling a Jeff's unis and it was like a mold of his dick and you could buy it and like do stuff with it, I guess, or just have it. I don't know, but I had never and I guess that's a very that's a very common thing. And in fact, I've gotten as birthday gifts for people. They sell kits that you can make your.

Own Clona dildo, Clona Willie, Yes, and I've gotten.

Own Clona dildo, Clona Willie, Yes, and I've gotten.

Them for people. It's like such a cheap gift that you buy and you're like, go fuck yourself, Like that's just that's the car for the listeners.

Them for people. It's like such a cheap gift that you buy and you're like, go fuck yourself, Like that's just that's the car for the listeners.

Wow, that's one of the interesting idea of molding your own dick to fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.

Wow, that's one of the interesting idea of molding your own dick to fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself.

Yeah, yeah, my friend gave me that for a birthday game. I haven't done it because it's like too much arts and crafts, Like you got to like mix the batter up and then you gotta get hard you put. It just seems like I feel like I need a tutorial. It just seems like a lot of work.

Yeah, yeah, my friend gave me that for a birthday game. I haven't done it because it's like too much arts and crafts, Like you got to like mix the batter up and then you gotta get hard you put. It just seems like I feel like I need a tutorial. It just seems like a lot of work.

Yeah, just ch into an ice tray, make yourself some squirtsicle.

Yeah, just ch into an ice tray, make yourself some squirtsicle.

That's there, we go. That's more easier, you know, coming into an ice tray feels a lot easier than making a dildo. So I like.

That's there, we go. That's more easier, you know, coming into an ice tray feels a lot easier than making a dildo. So I like.

Thing you are coming into being, Like, okay, all right, three down, we got mine to go.

Thing you are coming into being, Like, okay, all right, three down, we got mine to go.

My god, this one says I've been discovering my kinky topside and I love face slapping my boyfriend. I'm curious what do y'all think about, like getting slapped in the face. Is that a turn on? Or are there anythings that you've like discovered about yourself that you're like, Oh, I love this thing. This is unlocked for me that brings me pleasure. It could be sexually romantically.

My god, this one says I've been discovering my kinky topside and I love face slapping my boyfriend. I'm curious what do y'all think about, like getting slapped in the face. Is that a turn on? Or are there anythings that you've like discovered about yourself that you're like, Oh, I love this thing. This is unlocked for me that brings me pleasure. It could be sexually romantically.

I wish I had a little more of that in me, but I it doesn't eat both ways. It doesn't seem to be really my thing. Yeah, yeah, especially I wish I also think especially with like a long term partner I've found at least like it feels it just feels incongruous at least and how and I might just be a bit of a proud but it feels incongruous with my relationship in a way you can't seem to move past.

I wish I had a little more of that in me, but I it doesn't eat both ways. It doesn't seem to be really my thing. Yeah, yeah, especially I wish I also think especially with like a long term partner I've found at least like it feels it just feels incongruous at least and how and I might just be a bit of a proud but it feels incongruous with my relationship in a way you can't seem to move past.

Well, like tonight, want you want a smack her, but you're not.

Well, like tonight, want you want a smack her, but you're not.

Going to I want to get I wish I would just let her absolutely, And I like.

Going to I want to get I wish I would just let her absolutely, And I like.

Well, maybe that's you and maybe you and your wife should start more of like a fight club rather than do you know what I mean?

Well, maybe that's you and maybe you and your wife should start more of like a fight club rather than do you know what I mean?

Just like go down or and this is a or like a pie pie, like a funny pie in the face.

Just like go down or and this is a or like a pie pie, like a funny pie in the face.

Oh yeah, that could be hot. That's a cank food. Play it off.

Oh yeah, that could be hot. That's a cank food. Play it off.

Yeah, like giz into a blender, whip it up like whipped cream, and then use that your pie.

Yeah, like giz into a blender, whip it up like whipped cream, and then use that your pie.

You got ideas ideas?

You got ideas ideas?

Can I?

Can I?

Can?

Can?

I tell everyone what we did during our virtual press drunket what you said? Sure, we were getting a little punchy. We were doing a bunch of interviews in a row and and this woman said, how did you guys meet? And I said Craig's List, which I thought was like end of joke. And then Nick because he's so fucking funny. He said, Andrew was looking for a desk lamp and I was looking for somebody to come into my food. And I couldn't. I couldn't recover for like wake up Cleveland. I couldn't do it. That was the end. I was like, well, we're done.

I tell everyone what we did during our virtual press drunket what you said? Sure, we were getting a little punchy. We were doing a bunch of interviews in a row and and this woman said, how did you guys meet? And I said Craig's List, which I thought was like end of joke. And then Nick because he's so fucking funny. He said, Andrew was looking for a desk lamp and I was looking for somebody to come into my food. And I couldn't. I couldn't recover for like wake up Cleveland. I couldn't do it. That was the end. I was like, well, we're done.

Incredible, incredible.

Incredible, incredible.

The only revision I have is that it was to come on my food. Yes, for full journalistic transparency.

The only revision I have is that it was to come on my food. Yes, for full journalistic transparency.

That's yes. You wanted an accent, you want to a little drizzle. It's a cherry, it's not it's not the substance of the food.

That's yes. You wanted an accent, you want to a little drizzle. It's a cherry, it's not it's not the substance of the food.

When I started acting, and when I was not, like Craigslist was there wasn't much Internet like to find stuff online of like jobs like acting you'd got. I would was on Craigslist in the early two thousands trying to like because they're like there was like open call for commercial or whatever. So I was on Craigslist a lot in that time. And but there was and there was like misconnections, yes, casual and casual encounters, and casual encounters was always like it's it's probably it's snowing in my blaze. If anybody wants to four to twenty, and it was like the way to be like come over and let's smoke weed, fuck or whatever, you know what I mean. It was like it had to be kept very kind of open, and so I'd read all those and then there was just one that was like I want someone to come over and come on my food, and it just stuck with me forever, as like what a.

When I started acting, and when I was not, like Craigslist was there wasn't much Internet like to find stuff online of like jobs like acting you'd got. I would was on Craigslist in the early two thousands trying to like because they're like there was like open call for commercial or whatever. So I was on Craigslist a lot in that time. And but there was and there was like misconnections, yes, casual and casual encounters, and casual encounters was always like it's it's probably it's snowing in my blaze. If anybody wants to four to twenty, and it was like the way to be like come over and let's smoke weed, fuck or whatever, you know what I mean. It was like it had to be kept very kind of open, and so I'd read all those and then there was just one that was like I want someone to come over and come on my food, and it just stuck with me forever, as like what a.

What a specific canke? And this person will probably like squirtsicles, Oh they like yeah, if they like come on the food, They're like a frozen.

What a specific canke? And this person will probably like squirtsicles, Oh they like yeah, if they like come on the food, They're like a frozen.

I have crowns, I have van ears, and so I just can't eat anything cold.

I have crowns, I have van ears, and so I just can't eat anything cold.

But this question says my partner and I recently had our second kid and both are under the age of five. While fatherhood has been a beautiful gift, I don't recognize myself anymore. I love my kids, but I miss my old life and feel like I'm not allowed to say that. Sometimes I feel myself getting angry or resentful, and I don't want my kids to pick up on that. And I don't want to withdraw in the way my father did and become stoic, hardened figurehead for the kids or my partner. Can anyone in the community or any of your guests talk about how to become a to use your word soft father and partner while also retaining my individual personhood.

But this question says my partner and I recently had our second kid and both are under the age of five. While fatherhood has been a beautiful gift, I don't recognize myself anymore. I love my kids, but I miss my old life and feel like I'm not allowed to say that. Sometimes I feel myself getting angry or resentful, and I don't want my kids to pick up on that. And I don't want to withdraw in the way my father did and become stoic, hardened figurehead for the kids or my partner. Can anyone in the community or any of your guests talk about how to become a to use your word soft father and partner while also retaining my individual personhood.

That's the ultimate question about parenthood, frankly, is like it's such a beautiful and joyful thing, and it is a massive recalibration of your identity, especially for me because it was it was in Congress with getting married, so it was like, so it's a it's this like you're you're you're partnering with this person and then also then having kids. I have two kids under five, and it is just this re massive recalibration of priority and responsibility and and trying to figure out how to maintain one's individual self inside of this larger entity that requires so much of you. And I think it's like for me, I'm I'm trying to get better and it's not my strong suit. Is like planning. I think it comes down to like planning the and figure out what it is that you want. And the way that you can do keep maintaining your individual identity is to be better. At least I can speak to myself and being like, yeah, okay, a week from now, I really want to have dinner with my friend so I'm going to schedule that a week too from now, or I know a priorities for me to play soccer like on a Sunday, so that I have to like think about that and figure that out and get that on a schedule so that everyone in my family is prepared for me to be gone Sunday morning when we would normally all be together. That's what I am I need to get. It's advice that I need to give myself because I'm not great at that. Because I was an individual who kind of like had a lot of control over my life and therefore could come kind of come and go as I pleased. And so that that's what I've I have. I'm i am endeavoring to do.

That's the ultimate question about parenthood, frankly, is like it's such a beautiful and joyful thing, and it is a massive recalibration of your identity, especially for me because it was it was in Congress with getting married, so it was like, so it's a it's this like you're you're you're partnering with this person and then also then having kids. I have two kids under five, and it is just this re massive recalibration of priority and responsibility and and trying to figure out how to maintain one's individual self inside of this larger entity that requires so much of you. And I think it's like for me, I'm I'm trying to get better and it's not my strong suit. Is like planning. I think it comes down to like planning the and figure out what it is that you want. And the way that you can do keep maintaining your individual identity is to be better. At least I can speak to myself and being like, yeah, okay, a week from now, I really want to have dinner with my friend so I'm going to schedule that a week too from now, or I know a priorities for me to play soccer like on a Sunday, so that I have to like think about that and figure that out and get that on a schedule so that everyone in my family is prepared for me to be gone Sunday morning when we would normally all be together. That's what I am I need to get. It's advice that I need to give myself because I'm not great at that. Because I was an individual who kind of like had a lot of control over my life and therefore could come kind of come and go as I pleased. And so that that's what I've I have. I'm i am endeavoring to do.

It's like learning about planning ahead, kind of calendaring and like setting aside intentional time that is going to be yours where you can kind of just be your person as opposed to needing.

It's like learning about planning ahead, kind of calendaring and like setting aside intentional time that is going to be yours where you can kind of just be your person as opposed to needing.

To be and whatever it is, like sitting on the couch watching TV, going to the gym, yeah, going at like having drinks, like going away with a friend or or a sibling or you know, or just sitting on your phone with your fucking brain off for forty five. Sure, whatever it is, but you really kind of you have to plan it.

To be and whatever it is, like sitting on the couch watching TV, going to the gym, yeah, going at like having drinks, like going away with a friend or or a sibling or you know, or just sitting on your phone with your fucking brain off for forty five. Sure, whatever it is, but you really kind of you have to plan it.

My boyfriend's kids were six when we started dating, so they were you know, older than this, you know than this this person was asking about. But I will say now they're twelve, and it does get progressively easier as they get a little more independent and you can kind of and actually and they start having their own stuff going on, so like they have their own play dates or games at school or whatever it is. Like I have found as they get older, it's like starting to get a little bit easier to find that time naturally, but like you know, until they're really like of school age, it's just tough because they're just around all the time and they can't do anything. I mean, you shouldn't leave them alone. You can't just like leave them. That's not cool. Turns out, Yeah, so you really do have to have have a plan. You do have to have a plan. But I don't know. They also they also, the kids, they change so quickly that I find that their personalities, even from like you know, month to month sort of develop and change and shift, and like it does become more fun in a lot of ways to get to spend time with them, I'm finding, So it's yeah, I definitely it starts to get easier. But I'm sure if you've got two kids under five, that's got to feel like you're like.

My boyfriend's kids were six when we started dating, so they were you know, older than this, you know than this this person was asking about. But I will say now they're twelve, and it does get progressively easier as they get a little more independent and you can kind of and actually and they start having their own stuff going on, so like they have their own play dates or games at school or whatever it is. Like I have found as they get older, it's like starting to get a little bit easier to find that time naturally, but like you know, until they're really like of school age, it's just tough because they're just around all the time and they can't do anything. I mean, you shouldn't leave them alone. You can't just like leave them. That's not cool. Turns out, Yeah, so you really do have to have have a plan. You do have to have a plan. But I don't know. They also they also, the kids, they change so quickly that I find that their personalities, even from like you know, month to month sort of develop and change and shift, and like it does become more fun in a lot of ways to get to spend time with them, I'm finding, So it's yeah, I definitely it starts to get easier. But I'm sure if you've got two kids under five, that's got to feel like you're like.

Yeah, how do you manage? I think also because right there there, to me, there are three things happening. There's like fatherhood, but there's still like you being a partner, and then there's your individuality as well. So how are you navigating I think the partnership as well? Like are you able to sense when the stress that we're feeling as partners is about the kids or is it about I need more of my own time? Like how are you navigating the partners and staying soft with each other? Because you know, I think sometimes added stresses reflects or acts out in the relationship, and so I'm curious how you get ahead of that or identify that.

Yeah, how do you manage? I think also because right there there, to me, there are three things happening. There's like fatherhood, but there's still like you being a partner, and then there's your individuality as well. So how are you navigating I think the partnership as well? Like are you able to sense when the stress that we're feeling as partners is about the kids or is it about I need more of my own time? Like how are you navigating the partners and staying soft with each other? Because you know, I think sometimes added stresses reflects or acts out in the relationship, and so I'm curious how you get ahead of that or identify that.

I mean, I think for Tuck and I we definitely do a lot of we kind of try to get ahead of that in terms of like making the plans to have time alone and to have like you know, as silly as it sounds like, to still go on dates and to do things like that, like that's a real priority for us, is to like maintain that. Now we also have this like this extra kind of complication but sometimes works in our favor of we're both actors and we both travel a lot. Yeah, so there is built in time alone that is sometimes great and sometimes lonely. And but because of that separation, I think the coming back together sort of naturally forces you to like reevaluate the relationship and sort of you know, miss the person. And that's a real think that's sort of underrated, is too. Sometimes it's nice to miss someone, yeah, to not always be around them. We have we've introduced a little bit of a of a like a restart rule if you start off on the wrong foot in a conversation or if you're like if there is a miscommunication happening, that we will literally say, like I think we just need to like reset, like let's do it. Let's do another take essentially, and like do it again. I'll be nicer, you be nicer, and let's try it again.

I mean, I think for Tuck and I we definitely do a lot of we kind of try to get ahead of that in terms of like making the plans to have time alone and to have like you know, as silly as it sounds like, to still go on dates and to do things like that, like that's a real priority for us, is to like maintain that. Now we also have this like this extra kind of complication but sometimes works in our favor of we're both actors and we both travel a lot. Yeah, so there is built in time alone that is sometimes great and sometimes lonely. And but because of that separation, I think the coming back together sort of naturally forces you to like reevaluate the relationship and sort of you know, miss the person. And that's a real think that's sort of underrated, is too. Sometimes it's nice to miss someone, yeah, to not always be around them. We have we've introduced a little bit of a of a like a restart rule if you start off on the wrong foot in a conversation or if you're like if there is a miscommunication happening, that we will literally say, like I think we just need to like reset, like let's do it. Let's do another take essentially, and like do it again. I'll be nicer, you be nicer, and let's try it again.

Talking about masculinity and men and fathers in particular, I think a lot of people have had relationships with fathers that are less emotional. Right, Like, usually we see men being masculine, we we equate that with like kind of less emotion, whereas moms tend to be little in that feminine space and so far more maternal nurturing. What I know about the two of you as individuals is that you're both quite open hearted and soft and caring. And I'm just wondering were your guardians or your parents that way too, or is that something you've had to learn as men to become softer so that you're not presenting as a hard figure head as this person was asking, like, I don't want to withdraw and become like my parent, who was a harder father. And so I'm wondering where you've learned as men your kind of open heartedness and your your softness, if you will.

Talking about masculinity and men and fathers in particular, I think a lot of people have had relationships with fathers that are less emotional. Right, Like, usually we see men being masculine, we we equate that with like kind of less emotion, whereas moms tend to be little in that feminine space and so far more maternal nurturing. What I know about the two of you as individuals is that you're both quite open hearted and soft and caring. And I'm just wondering were your guardians or your parents that way too, or is that something you've had to learn as men to become softer so that you're not presenting as a hard figure head as this person was asking, like, I don't want to withdraw and become like my parent, who was a harder father. And so I'm wondering where you've learned as men your kind of open heartedness and your your softness, if you will.

My dad was pretty he was pretty sensitive in a lot of ways. My mom was actually the one who's like a little while while still very loving, Like her vocabulary was a little sharp. And I have that. I have that sort of if I don't like something, it's I don't like it, I don't want that, or you know, let's figure out a different way to do it. And I've been accused many times over the years of just being like a little too short, and I know that I still do it with tux kids, and it's like something that I always have to keep an eye on of like what is what is your tone? What's your tone right now? Because I can say something that's like perfectly supportive on paper, but my tone can be kind of cunty sometimes. I guess maybe that's my default. So it's nice to hear you say that I seem open hearted, But I think it's just like it's a constant for me. It's like having just to be constantly in check of that and like making sure, especially with kids, of like how is this gonna how is this going to be perceived? That's like a big fear of mine that you know, in twenty years, one of these kids is going to be talking to a therapist about one thing I said on a Wednesday in January in two thousand and twenty, and that's going to be the thing that's lodged in their head. Because you know, I have things that I remember that my parents said that My mom doesn't remember saying half that shit because she was like overwhelmed or busy or like doing something else and she doesn't remember. So that's something that I definitely spend probably too much time thinking about is like, how is this going to be remembered? How's that going to come across?

My dad was pretty he was pretty sensitive in a lot of ways. My mom was actually the one who's like a little while while still very loving, Like her vocabulary was a little sharp. And I have that. I have that sort of if I don't like something, it's I don't like it, I don't want that, or you know, let's figure out a different way to do it. And I've been accused many times over the years of just being like a little too short, and I know that I still do it with tux kids, and it's like something that I always have to keep an eye on of like what is what is your tone? What's your tone right now? Because I can say something that's like perfectly supportive on paper, but my tone can be kind of cunty sometimes. I guess maybe that's my default. So it's nice to hear you say that I seem open hearted, But I think it's just like it's a constant for me. It's like having just to be constantly in check of that and like making sure, especially with kids, of like how is this gonna how is this going to be perceived? That's like a big fear of mine that you know, in twenty years, one of these kids is going to be talking to a therapist about one thing I said on a Wednesday in January in two thousand and twenty, and that's going to be the thing that's lodged in their head. Because you know, I have things that I remember that my parents said that My mom doesn't remember saying half that shit because she was like overwhelmed or busy or like doing something else and she doesn't remember. So that's something that I definitely spend probably too much time thinking about is like, how is this going to be remembered? How's that going to come across?

My father feels more straight like period. My father feels more like more classically like he's a very warm, incredibly warm man, but it feels much more kind of you know, so much of his generational like how how men have been taught or you know, to act. But I guess it's interesting hearing Andrew like it's not gendered how parents can can be sensitive or stern or whatever. I think you're right, like, I think it oftentimes gets put in like, well, of course moms are going to be more one way or the person in the relationship who takes on to some of that those traits. But I think in my case, my dad is a very warm person, even if he is feels more classically like masculine father figure and isn't necessarily up for delving emotionally into every crevice of you know things, So but I think he's always been warm and that was modeled to me, and I think that that has made it easier for me to continue that journey. But now again as a father, I find myself being sort of stern and it does feel like sometimes my role to be like, no, we don't do that, like in a classic like there is something gendered inside of these things, or at least that I feel the pressure or default too to take a slightly more sharp, stern regulate regulatory role in my parenting. That surprises me and is something that I'm like, some version of this is healthy, but whatever I just did was not the healthy version of it. That was I was short, or I was dismissive, or I was anger. I let I lead with like anger and frustration versus like empathy and compact or compassion. So it's something that I or patience to just allow something like allow an emotion to hit me and just be like, Okay, that's all right, that's what he that's what they're feeling right now, that's okay, instead of like kind of coming back with a finger pointing, you know. So it's something that I'm working on.