Brandon has questions, concerns, and possibly a group chat theory. Drake just gave us what feels like a 43-song therapy session, and Brandon would like to know who’s taking notes, who’s holding space, and whether snacks were provided. Also, if you didn’t vote, this may not be your safe space right now.

This Memorial Day Weekend Messy Bonus also features a clip from Brandon’s conversation with Dr. Vanessa Marin on cheating with AI Girlfriends, and a longevity study. Then Brandon makes the case again for scheduling sex — because “spontaneous” is cute until everyone is tired, booked, resentful, and lying.

Stay for the Waymo conspiracy theory. Don’t ask questions. Just listen.

📩 Got something messy you want Brandon to weigh in on? Tell us anonymously a SomethingMessy.com, and join us on YouTube and Substack: brandonkylegoodman.substack.com