Within the Christian community, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger” is often quoted as a hard-and-fast rule for married couples to follow whenever they experience conflict. But sometimes Ted and I do go to bed mad—and surprisingly, it’s been good for our marriage. In today’s episode, we’ll tell you why.

TAKE THE "US TIME" CHALLENGE

Think of another hard-and-fast rule couples are often told. Do you practice it in your marriage? How has it been helpful? If not, what do you do instead and why?

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES
Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/) 
FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/) 

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Commentary on Ephesians 4:26 at BibleRef.com (https://www.bibleref.com/Ephesians/4/Ephesians-4-26.html) 
“The Benefits of Slumber” at NIH News in Health (https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2013/04/benefits-slumber#) 
The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages by Shaunti Feldhahn (https://amzn.to/4dgY67T) 

Within the Christian community, &ldquo;Do not let the sun go down on your anger&rdquo; is often quoted as a hard-and-fast rule for married couples to follow whenever they experience conflict. But sometimes Ted and I do go to bed mad&mdash;and surprisingly, it&rsquo;s been good for our marriage. In today&rsquo;s episode, we&rsquo;ll tell you why.
TAKE THE "US TIME" CHALLENGE
Think of another hard-and-fast rule couples are often told. Do you practice it in your marriage? How has it been helpful? If not, what do you do instead and why?
LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107</a>)
TEAM US RESOURCES
<ul>
<li>Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage&nbsp;(<a href="https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/">https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)</a>&nbsp;</li>
<li>FREE Team Us Study Guide (<a href="https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/">https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/</a>)&nbsp;</li>
</ul>
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
<ul>
<li>Commentary on Ephesians 4:26 at BibleRef.com (<a href="https://www.bibleref.com/Ephesians/4/Ephesians-4-26.html">https://www.bibleref.com/Ephesians/4/Ephesians-4-26.html)</a>&nbsp;</li>
<li>&ldquo;The Benefits of Slumber&rdquo; at NIH News in Health (https://newsinhealth.nih.gov/2013/04/benefits-slumber#)&nbsp;</li>
<li>The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages by Shaunti Feldhahn (<a href="https://amzn.to/4dgY67T">https://amzn.to/4dgY67T)</a>&nbsp;</li>
</ul>

The best marriages have a teamwork mentality. Spouses serve each other, support each other, and celebrate each other. They tackle life together, and when one slips, the other gives grace. Husbands and wives can be vulnerable with each other because they know they rise and fall as one.

Do you want a marriage like this? On each episode of the Team Us: Christian Marriage Podcast, married couple Ted and Ashleigh Slater come alongside you and your spouse as friends and mentors. They talk openly, honestly, and humorously about the betters and the worsts of their marriage, sharing how grace, commitment, cooperation, and lots of laughter have kept them united over the years.

Whether you’re newly married and desire to build a strong foundation, or you’ve been married longer and your relationship needs a little TLC, you’ll gain practical, realistic ideas for strengthening your Team Us.

Want more from Ted and Ashleigh? Visit https://ashleighslater.com/

The best marriages have a teamwork mentality. Spouses serve each other, support each other, and celebrate each other. They tackle life together, and when one slips, the other gives grace. Husbands and wives can be vulnerable with each other because they know they rise and fall as one. Do you want a marriage like this? On each episode of the Team Us: Christian Marriage Podcast, married couple Ted and Ashleigh Slater come alongside you and your spouse as friends and mentors. They talk openly, honestly, and humorously about the betters and the worsts of their marriage, sharing how grace, commitment, cooperation, and lots of laughter have kept them united over the years. Whether you&rsquo;re newly married and desire to build a strong foundation, or you&rsquo;ve been married longer and your relationship needs a little TLC, you&rsquo;ll gain practical, realistic ideas for strengthening your Team Us.
Want more from Ted and Ashleigh? Visit&nbsp;<a href="https://ashleighslater.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://ashleighslater.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1734531595589000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2LFlxWt0Zt3Sfr5fZIzek5">https://ashleighslater.com/</a>

The best marriages have a teamwork mentality. Spouses serve each other, support each other, and celebrate each other. They tackle life together, and when one slips, the other gives grace. Husbands and wives can be vulnerable with each other because...

Team Us: A Christian Marriage Podcast

The best marriages have a teamwork mentality. Spouses serve each other, support each other, and celebrate each other. They tackle life together, and when one slips, the other gives grace. Husbands and wives can be vulnerable with each other because they know they rise and fall as one.

Do you want a marriage like this? On each episode of the Team Us: Christian Marriage Podcast, married couple Ted and Ashleigh Slater come alongside you and your spouse as friends and mentors. They talk openly, honestly, and humorously about the betters and the worsts of their marriage, sharing how grace, commitment, cooperation, and lots of laughter have kept them united over the years.

Whether you’re newly married and desire to build a strong foundation, or you’ve been married longer and your relationship needs a little TLC, you’ll gain practical, realistic ideas for strengthening your Team Us.

Want more from Ted and Ashleigh? Visit https://ashleighslater.com/

The best marriages have a teamwork mentality. Spouses serve each other, support each other, and celebrate each other. They tackle life together, and when one slips, the other gives grace. Husbands and wives can be vulnerable with each other because they know they rise and fall as one. Do you want a marriage like this? On each episode of the Team Us: Christian Marriage Podcast, married couple Ted and Ashleigh Slater come alongside you and your spouse as friends and mentors. They talk openly, honestly, and humorously about the betters and the worsts of their marriage, sharing how grace, commitment, cooperation, and lots of laughter have kept them united over the years. Whether you&rsquo;re newly married and desire to build a strong foundation, or you&rsquo;ve been married longer and your relationship needs a little TLC, you&rsquo;ll gain practical, realistic ideas for strengthening your Team Us.
Want more from Ted and Ashleigh? Visit <a href="https://ashleighslater.com/" data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?q=https://ashleighslater.com/&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1734531595589000&amp;usg=AOvVaw2LFlxWt0Zt3Sfr5fZIzek5">https://ashleighslater.com/</a>

Why We Go to Bed Mad (And How It's Helped Our Marriage)

In this best-of episode, we discuss the idea of a "soulmate" as a myth that has been around for thousands of years. It may seem like a concept only for non-married people looking for “the one.” But here’s the thing. If you are married and subscribe to this idea of soulmates, it can be harmful to your marriage. Listen in as we share why!

TAKE THE “US TIME” CHALLENGE

Make a list of other marriage myths and reflect on whether they are impacting your marriage. If so, how can you replace them with truth?

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107)

TEAM US RESOURCES
Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
“Why people still believe in the soulmate myth” by Katie Bishop at BBC (https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220204-why-people-still-believe-in-the-soulmate-myth)
“For as Long as Our Love Shall Last: How the Soulmate Myth Makes Marriage Less Stable and Less Happy” by Brad Wilcox (https://ifstudies.org/blog/for-as-long-as-our-love-shall-last-how-the-soulmate-myth-makes-marriage-less-stable-and-less-happy)

In this best-of episode, we discuss the idea of a "soulmate" as a myth that has been around for thousands of years. It may seem like a concept only for non-married people looking for &ldquo;the one.&rdquo; But here&rsquo;s the thing. If you are married and subscribe to this idea of soulmates, it can be harmful to your marriage. Listen in as we share why!
TAKE THE &ldquo;US TIME&rdquo; CHALLENGE
Make a list of other marriage myths and reflect on whether they are impacting your marriage. If so, how can you replace them with truth?
LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
Did you enjoy this episode? Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! (<a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/team-us/id1565819107</a>)
TEAM US RESOURCES
<ul>
<li>Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (<a href="https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/">https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/</a>)</li>
<li>FREE Team Us Study Guide (<a href="https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/">https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/</a>)</li>
</ul>
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;Why people still believe in the soulmate myth&rdquo; by Katie Bishop at BBC (<a href="https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220204-why-people-still-believe-in-the-soulmate-myth">https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20220204-why-people-still-believe-in-the-soulmate-myth</a>)</li>
<li>&ldquo;For as Long as Our Love Shall Last: How the Soulmate Myth Makes Marriage Less Stable and Less Happy&rdquo; by Brad Wilcox (<a href="https://ifstudies.org/blog/for-as-long-as-our-love-shall-last-how-the-soulmate-myth-makes-marriage-less-stable-and-less-happy">https://ifstudies.org/blog/for-as-long-as-our-love-shall-last-how-the-soulmate-myth-makes-marriage-less-stable-and-less-happy</a>)</li>
</ul>

Why Believing the Soulmate Myth Can Harm Your Marriage

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/f81777c5-e9ee-442f-95da-b3db00f294dd/transcript

Most marriages don’t fall apart in one big moment. They drift slowly and quietly, often without either person noticing. You can share a house, a life, and a schedule and still end up on relational autopilot.

In this episode, we talk about why connection fades over time and share three simple rhythms that help couples stay emotionally close—not through big gestures, but through small, intentional patterns that gently change the direction of a marriage.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
Why most marriages drift into autopilot without either person realizing it
Three simple rhythms that keep a marriage emotionally connected long-term
How small, intentional patterns quietly change the direction of your relationship

KEY TAKEAWAYS
Marriages change by direction, not by moments. Small patterns shape where you end up.
Connection must be built on purpose and maintained through every season.
Repair and emotional openness matter more than perfect communication.

US TIME CHALLENGE

This week, talk honestly about whether you’re drifting into autopilot in any area of your marriage, then choose one small shared connection ritual to add. It doesn’t have to be big or impressive. Something simple and intentional is enough. The point isn’t the activity. The point is choosing each other on purpose.

STAY CONNECTED BEYOND THE PODCAST

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe to Ashleigh’s weekly email newsletter at AshleighSlater.com.

 

Most marriages don&rsquo;t fall apart in one big moment. They drift slowly and quietly, often without either person noticing. You can share a house, a life, and a schedule and still end up on relational autopilot.
In this episode, we talk about why connection fades over time and share three simple rhythms that help couples stay emotionally close&mdash;not through big gestures, but through small, intentional patterns that gently change the direction of a marriage.
WHAT YOU&rsquo;LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
<ul>
<li>Why most marriages drift into autopilot without either person realizing it</li>
<li>Three simple rhythms that keep a marriage emotionally connected long-term</li>
<li>How small, intentional patterns quietly change the direction of your relationship</li>
</ul>
KEY TAKEAWAYS
<ul>
<li>Marriages change by direction, not by moments. Small patterns shape where you end up.</li>
<li>Connection must be built on purpose and maintained through every season.</li>
<li>Repair and emotional openness matter more than perfect communication.</li>
</ul>
US TIME CHALLENGE
This week, talk honestly about whether you&rsquo;re drifting into autopilot in any area of your marriage, then choose one small shared connection ritual to add. It doesn&rsquo;t have to be big or impressive. Something simple and intentional is enough. The point isn&rsquo;t the activity. The point is choosing each other on purpose.
STAY CONNECTED BEYOND THE PODCAST
If you enjoyed this episode, don&rsquo;t forget to subscribe to Ashleigh&rsquo;s weekly email newsletter at AshleighSlater.com.
&nbsp;

Why Marriages Drift (And How to Stop It)

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/3bf730b8-ef1b-4851-b06f-b3d601471412/transcript

In this episode, we’re talking about adaptability and flexibility in marriage. We discuss those everyday moments when staying open and teachable really matter. It’s not just our big decisions, but our small, ordinary interactions that shape how we live life together. Listen in as we explore what psychological flexibility looks like in marriage and how growing in this area can create more peace, safety, and connection over time.

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
What psychological flexibility is and why it matters in marriage
Why everyday moments—not just big decisions—often create the most tension
Common roadblocks to flexibility, including control, rigidity, and shutdown
How inflexibility affects emotional safety and connection over time
Practical ways to practice flexibility without losing yourself
How awareness creates space for better choices in marriage

KEY TAKEAWAYS
Psychological flexibility isn’t about being passive or agreeable—it’s about staying open and grounded.
Inflexibility often shows up as shutdown, control, or resistance rather than overt conflict.
Small, everyday interactions shape the emotional climate of a marriage.
Control can feel like safety, but it often comes from fear.
Awareness doesn’t fix everything, but it does create space for healthier responses.

US TIME CHALLENGE

This week, each of you choose one small area where you’ll intentionally practice flexibility. It might be listening without defending, staying open to a different preference, or pausing instead of shutting down.

At the end of the week, talk about what you noticed—not what you accomplished. The goal isn’t to “do it right,” but to build awareness and connection.

STAY CONNECTED BEYOND THE PODCAST

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss what’s next. And we’d love to hear from you! What’s one way you want to be more open and teachable in your marriage. Share it with us on social media or send us a message at AshleighSlater.com.

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
“What Is Psychological Flexibility?” from the University of Rochester Medical Center (https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2020/what-is-psychological-flexibility.aspx)
“Psychological Flexibility in Marriage” from Focus on the Family (https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/psychological-flexibility-in-marriage/)
“How Psychological Flexibility Strengthens Relationships” from Marriage.com (https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/psychological-flexibility-in-relationships/)

In this episode, we&rsquo;re talking about adaptability and flexibility in marriage. We discuss those everyday moments when staying open and teachable really matter. It&rsquo;s not just our big decisions, but our small, ordinary interactions that shape how we live life together. Listen in as we explore what psychological flexibility looks like in marriage and how growing in this area can create more peace, safety, and connection over time.
WHAT YOU&rsquo;LL LEARN IN THIS EPISODE
<ul>
<li>What psychological flexibility is and why it matters in marriage</li>
<li>Why everyday moments&mdash;not just big decisions&mdash;often create the most tension</li>
<li>Common roadblocks to flexibility, including control, rigidity, and shutdown</li>
<li>How inflexibility affects emotional safety and connection over time</li>
<li>Practical ways to practice flexibility without losing yourself</li>
<li>How awareness creates space for better choices in marriage</li>
</ul>
KEY TAKEAWAYS
<ul>
<li>Psychological flexibility isn&rsquo;t about being passive or agreeable&mdash;it&rsquo;s about staying open and grounded.</li>
<li>Inflexibility often shows up as shutdown, control, or resistance rather than overt conflict.</li>
<li>Small, everyday interactions shape the emotional climate of a marriage.</li>
<li>Control can feel like safety, but it often comes from fear.</li>
<li>Awareness doesn&rsquo;t fix everything, but it does create space for healthier responses.</li>
</ul>
US TIME CHALLENGE
This week, each of you choose one small area where you&rsquo;ll intentionally practice flexibility. It might be listening without defending, staying open to a different preference, or pausing instead of shutting down.
At the end of the week, talk about what you noticed&mdash;not what you accomplished. The goal isn&rsquo;t to &ldquo;do it right,&rdquo; but to build awareness and connection.
STAY CONNECTED BEYOND THE PODCAST
If you enjoyed this episode, don&rsquo;t forget to subscribe so you never miss what&rsquo;s next. And we&rsquo;d love to hear from you! What&rsquo;s one way you want to be more open and teachable in your marriage. Share it with us on social media or send us a message at AshleighSlater.com.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
<ul>
<li>&ldquo;What Is Psychological Flexibility?&rdquo; from the University of Rochester Medical Center (https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/april-2020/what-is-psychological-flexibility.aspx)</li>
<li>&ldquo;Psychological Flexibility in Marriage&rdquo; from Focus on the Family (https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/psychological-flexibility-in-marriage/)</li>
<li>&ldquo;How Psychological Flexibility Strengthens Relationships&rdquo; from Marriage.com (https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/psychological-flexibility-in-relationships/)</li>
</ul>

How to Stay Open and Teachable in Marriage

https://api.omny.fm/orgs/5e27a451-e6e6-4c51-aa03-a7370003783c/clips/0bd72110-ded8-42ba-b7df-b3cc0127480c/transcript

Why We Go to Bed Mad (And How It's Helped Our Marriage)

In 1 playlist(s)

Team Us: A Christian Marriage Podcast

Social links

Follow podcast

Recent clips