I don't want to do with select. My name's Chuck. I don't want to pick out a select and do an intro for this one. I don't want to work. See that was play acting everyone. This is called how Temper Tantrums work, And that was an example of a temper tantrum. This is from and it was a good one. It was um before I had a kid, and it really was instructive on how things were gonna go once I did have a kid. But I gotta tell you, I'm five years into this thing, and she's great. She rarely ever has thrown temper tantrums in her whole life. She can be a real paint in the butt, but she's never been a tantrum thrower. So I'm gonna listen to this one again. Actually right along with you. Welcome to Stuff you should Know, a production of I Heart Radio. Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Josh Clark Bush, Charles Chuck Bryant, and again we have our guest producer Noel. He's thrashing about on the ground, vomiting, screaming, capillaries bursting in his cheeks, all because we wouldn't give him a third pork chop not true. Yeah, boy, temper tantrums or I always feel so bad for the parents in public, you know, Oh really, I always think like, you screwed up your kid already. See you're so wrong. And we're about to dispel that. Yeah it's true, although I did see a UM, we're about to talk a lot about why it's not the parents fault. But I did some extra research and there are experts that say you can also be a bad parent and that could lead to temper tantrums. Like, we don't want to blame parents, but you can definitely play a part. And we as a society of said, uh, from this age to this age, temper tantrums are normal. And then after that then apparently it's like the bad parenting really shines through and then they think like, yeah, there's some real problems this kid has and it's largely because of bad parenting or a bad home environment, or troubles during pregnancy like abuse, things like that. Um, that can all lead to temper tantrums that turn into something else after a certain age. Yeah, this whole thing, it makes me kind of uncomfortable. But just parenting advice period is so like subjective and individual Yeah, it's it's always feel like people shouldn't tell other people how to parent, But I also I feel like they're probably some pretty good guidelines to parenting too. So yeah, and if you go back and look at, um, the history of parenting, yeah, like it wasn't too long ago that it was. It kind of seems to go on a cycle. Like in the eighteenth century. Um Rousseau, the Great Enlightenment thinker, basically was one of the first to say, you know what, maybe kids aren't just internature adults and like maybe child like something special. It's a time of development. We should you know, become less parent centric and more child centric as far as parenthood goes. And um, that really kind of sparked this different idea of you know, treating kids as kids rather than adults. And then that was replaced later on by the whole like discipline and all that of the late nineteenth early twentieth century, and then that was replaced by the idea that kids their childhood should be indulged, you know. And then Russo said, boy, fetch me in my feather, I need to throw up? Is that from fletch, No, fletch. This is what came to mind. No, I just thought it'd be funny. You know, I need to throw up, you know, the benjing and purging back in the day, eat till you can't eat anymore than you stick a feather it on your throat and vomited it up. Supposedly, the vomitorium thing is a myth. Have you heard that in Rome? Ancient Rome, vomitoriums they supposedly had like pieces for that. I haven't heard. They were a myth. Supposedly their myth mythological and not like the Menatar, like a real myth, not like they want you to think it's a myth. Got Okay, So we're talking temper tantrums, and we've already kind of said, um that during a certain period of your life, they're normal. It's actually you would be a weird kid if you didn't have a temper tantrum pretty frequently. Not weird, but you would be in the minority for sure. Okay, but it doesn't mean you're weird. Comparatively speaking, it means you're weird. So like, from age one to age three ish, they basically say, I have have your temper tantrums. It's normal. Yeah, between fifty if you want a statistic of two to three year old boys and girls have at least one tantrum per week, and UM have a tantrum every day. Yeah, those kids are fun between those those years. Yeah. Uh. And then there was another study from the University of Minnesota. I found even higher rates. UM. Nine percent of children in this study between the ages of thirty, thirty months and three years UM had a tantrum on a weekly basis. Right, so it happens. If you had a kid, you've probably had it happened. If you don't have kids yet, it will happen to you. And if you have a kid that doesn't have tantrums, they're weird. No, you're just lucky. Yeah, you are pretty lucky. I wasn't a tantrum thrower. I know, I'm sure I was, but I think I was a pretty good kid. Yeah, I'm in saying it never happened with me, but I was pretty chill. Yes the gate. Yeah, my brother in law and sister in law lucked out a good kid who's like more hard on herself than like they are on her. That's the best self regulating kids. Yeah, she's good and she's like right in the age two and she's very good. So she's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, weird and all the all the best ways. The good news is, um, by the time they reach four or five, you should be seeing a large drop off or complete cessation of these tantrums. Yeah. And the reason why we say the age um, that there is an age for this to end, is because we finally figured out that the mechanisms involved in temperate tantrums. Yeah, it's a thing. It's not just my kid's pain in the butter, he's in a bad mood, or he's spoiled. It's there's there's brain activity that is causing this to happen. Yes, specifically in the prefrontal cortex, or we should say there's a lack of activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is the last part of the brain to evolve. Yeah, like it up until your eighteenth birthday, prefonal cortex is still evolving, right, Yes, and developing, is I think what we mean? Yes, yes, we do. Both said evolved, but it's true. I mean, you know, the Victorians used to think that if you looked inside an egg, you would see the animal that species go through its full evolution, that that was its process of development, And it kind of makes sense to an extent, especially if you think of the brain, like I'm sure the brain stem is the first part of the brain to be constructed in utero, you know, and then it goes all the way like after birth. Your brain is still developing, and it's probably the most sophisticated regions of the brain that take the longest to develop. That makes sense. So the victorians were right all along about throwing up All right, well should we talk about what the tantrum? That there was a doctor who clearly has uh some masochistic tendencies because he did a study in which he rigged toddlers with microphones. He's the temper tantrum specialist. He's like the guy he's definitely a masochist. Yeah. No, I'm saying, God bless this guy, because it is not fun work to chord and analyze audio tapes of temper tantrums over and over and over. But that's what he did, and he did find some patterns. First of all, they only last a few minutes. Parents, it might seem like an eternity there in target while your kid is like buried in the clothes rack screaming, But it's only going to be a few minutes, and then ten minutes later, your kid has just probably forgotten about it, even though you have not. The He also found that UM, based on the types of sounds that the kids made, they can basically be classified as sad sounds and angry sounds. And he found that his name is Michael Protagal, and Portagal found that UM, rather than one giving into the other leading into the other, they're pretty much simultaneous. And then once the anger, it's basically you have sadness all along, and then it's overlaid with anger. And then once the anger subsides, all this left to sadness, and now the healing can begin because when kids are sad, they want to be comforted, so they go to you, the parent hopefully yeah, um, and and then the temper tantrum can subside. Yeah. And he broke it down into three phase three stages. Uh, you get your yelling and screaming. You've got your physical actions, which is what we talked about, like throwing yourself on the floor, and that's what you typically think of, like kicking and screaming, and then um or biting, and then you've got your whimpering and whining, which is the third and saddest stage right to witness, because the kid has just played out at this point and it's really sad. Yeah. And protocol also found that if the kid goes straight into the physical stage, Yes, the tantrum is even shorter lived. I think because they text themselves more quickly. Yeah, that makes sense. Uh. And these we talked earlier about Noel's tantrum before we came in and how his face is flushed. That is something that can happen if they are screaming loud enough, they and pop blood vessels in the face and capillaries, and they can induce vomiting. It can get like really serious and violent and disturbing. Inducing vomiting is funny. You don't just wouldn't you just be like, you stupid kid? What is wrong with you? You just screamed until you threw up? Yeah. I think that's a good approach. Well, I mean you don't say, certainly think alright, So back, yeah, stupid, Back to the prefrontal cortex. Uh. We said it develops very Uh, I don't know about slowly, but it develops over the course of your life until you're about eighteen. Um. But it doesn't even start to till you're four and they think the reason why, or not necessarily the reason why they think. Because of this this malleability and plasticity in the prefrontal cortex, we are able to acquire language skills as humans. So it's kind of a trade off because while we can acquire language skills while our p is developing, we don't have the emotional stability that we have later on in life with the fully developed PFC, because the prefrontal cortex is in charge of regulating our emotional stability. Yeah, and basically saying like whoa, it's the part of the it's the joey part of the brain, right, So your kid, your kid doesn't have the joey part of the brain yet. There is since you brought up language, there is a um there's a conflict between what the kid can understand and then relay back to you at that age, like they may be able to understand what you're saying, but they can't speak the words yet. So you've got a really frustrated kid because it can't get out what it wants to say. And then you've got the prefrontal cortex not doing anything yet, right, it's not putting the brakes on. Yeah, so that is a tantrum. I mean, that's a recipe for a tantrum. And why don't you stew on that for a minute while we take a message break because that was some heavy stuff. Okay, so we're back. We just talked about the prefrontal cortex and you, Chuck just explained what a temper tantrum is. Yeah, because we all have like moments of frustration. We all have um times when like we act out a little bit, like you know, this light bulb is supposed to work, you know that kind of thing, or road rage. That's an adult temper tantrum exactly, you know, But we have prefrontal cortex is we've been socialized to feel embarrassed for acting out. Um, if you took that away and shrunk us down by several feet, you would have what's a normal temper tantrum and kids. Yeah, and we also should point out that the fight or flight kicks into a big shot of cortis all happens, and so everything is just messed up. Like it's a wonder your kid doesn't have more of these, right when you think about that, So that frustration, Um, does trigger cortisol. It triggers Norah and ephron. Uh, your fight or flight syndrome or responses kicked into high gear. And again you have nothing to put the brakes on all of this. What's interesting is, Um, some of the physical signs that the fight or flight responses kicked in are also signs that your kids about to have like a major meltdown. Things like, um, you're breathing, flesh, skin, sweating, sweating, pupils dilated, drooling and spitting. Yeah, all these things where I like, you see your kids starting to do that, you just felling the exorcists gonna blow yes. And the reason, um, they stop or at least taper off by the ages of four or five is because you're the joey part of your brain starts to work and the kid can now talk to you and all of these kind of undo and the kids like that was the problem because they can now tell you that, right, I couldn't talk. Yeah, it smelled like chili dogs all the time, and I tried. I just couldn't tell you that. Yeah, in my PFC wasn't working. So what am I to do? Just go berserk exactly? Um. The thing is is like, yes, your kid is going to likely age out of this. If your kid doesn't age out of it, then perhaps it's time to consult a specialist, say around five six years of age, usually six, I think. Um. But along the way, you can help your kid have fewer temper tantrums, have less severe temper tantrums, and basically just be a better human being in general by how you as the parents address the temper tantrums. By telling them they're dumb for just throwing up. Just you think that in your head. You don't say it out loud or else you're a terrible parent. If you think it, you're fine, Okay. Um. The number one thing you want to do, um, prior to temper tantrums is giving the kid a a schedule. Yeah, because apparently a lot of the temper tantrums come from a fear that somethings that they're not going to get food, whether they're not gonna get held or at tension or whatever. If they're on a schedule, they'll know that it's coming. And if they start to freak out, you can say, of course, your goldfish are coming. It's almost two pm. Settled down, you little goldfish. Junkie. Yeah, and I know they stress scheduling all lot with kids with like Asperger's uh and autism, But it's a big deal. Period. You should get your kids on a schedule. Kids like knowing what to expect. They don't like balls. If you have to make your own bowl of cereal at age like two, the parent needs to take some time and figure out what's going wrong here with water? Yeah remember that what was that Friday's Yeah, when they did that milk. Yeah, that's funny that you said that is I just remembered yesterday. What a good movie Friday. Oh yeah, it was really funny. It's wonderful. Uh. Okay, So get your kids on a schedule. That's a big one. This is this is preventing yes, um, temper tantrum and that's regular sleep, regular feeding, uh, regular interaction. Any kind of thing they can rely on is going to help, like chill your kid out and get them stable. I remember, um, one of the things one of the bases of temper tantrums is frustration. Yeah, and one way around that is to give your kid make them feel empowered. Yeah. I like this bit of advice. I thought that was spot on. So like in this article, I think Conger says, um, if your kid hates putting shoes on, basically distract them by saying, hey, big boy, do you want to wear your duck boots or your cowboy boots? Yeah? You you choose to you. Yeah, sort of like heading them off at the templeton. You still have to wear shoes, but you get to choose which one. Yeah, I've heard that's a pretty common thing, if acause a lot of kids don't want to get dressed when they should or put on their shoes when they should. And um, a lot of parents now are like letting their kids dress themselves. Yeah you can tell, yeah, but look around. I know, and it's I think it's great and fun to see little kids walking around in these crazy outfits that they clearly picked out. It's like a moment. It's like many mental asylums all let out. It's like the Reagan era all over again, but for kids. I think it's awesome. Um, Okay, so empowering choices, great advice. So okay, you've taken these steps to avoid it, it's still not gonna do. Your kids still gonna have a temperature tantrum. It's just you can expect it. It's inevitable. Um So, when a temper tantrum happens, here's the hard part. You have to stay calm. And apparently the the advice from parenting experts psychologists is ignore it. Yeah, this is not us talking. We've researched this, and they say to try and ignore it. They say that that is the quickest way too, to put an end to that particular tantrum. If they're not getting the attention, then they will quit sooner. Yeah, and that's what they say. So long as they're not hurting themselves or other people or destroying property. If they're just screaming and being a brat basically is what it amounts to, then ignoring it is the best course of action. Yeah. The reason why is, um if you say you are like, oh, I know, you feel so bad, and you pick them up and you hug them and everything, you're giving your kid positive reinforcement. You're saying, hey, scream your head off and I'll pick you up and rub your back and comfort you. You don't want to do that. You want to remain neutral and basically not associate this thing with anything during it. That's what I would do, especially in public and just be like, man, whose kid is that? Right? I'm gonna go over here and eat a box of neutral green bars if i'm myself while this little kid finishes up, and I'll just pay for it at the register with an empty box and it's all good. Um. An sense of shape. The other reason, and we're joking around here, this is if someone like I have friends who have had a big trouble with this and it's not a laughing matter. It's really a lot of stress on a family. Oh, I can't imagine we joke because it's just what we always do. Another time, the guy in the grocery store gets to go see you later, good luck. Um. Another reason not to what like they say, to muffle that is because there could be other underlying causes like hearing problem or vision vision impairment that you won't notice. Um if you're if you're not, just like you know, if you've got the kid buried in your chest. Yeah it's weird. It's like you want to ignore it. Let it run its natural course, watch it out of like the side of your eye, you know. Yeah. Um, Because you don't want them to like you really don't want them to think you're paying any attention to them at all. And apparently and when that, when that's done, it just runs its course and it's it's over with, and like we said earlier, the kid forgets even what was bothering him or her, you know, a few minutes afterward. Yeah, what you really don't want to do is punish the kid or reprimand the kid in the middle of a tantrum or right after a tantrum, because it's a natural thing, it's gonna happen. That is not a healthy approach to getting your child to not do something because they're two and three years old, and to be punished for something that they don't understand, it's just that's not gonna help anything. Sure, So what you do want to do is after a meltdown has taken place and things are calm again, you want to take some time to explain to the kid basically what went wrong or what they didn't do. Let's say, is over the shoes again. You you they've just told you we need to talk about shoes again. Right now that things are calm, we have to talk about shoe was because I just had a meltdown about it. So now that they're calm. You have to say you need to wear shoes because they protect your feet from all the terrible stuff that you can step on. That's why you have to wear shoes and put them on when I tell you too. And it's time to leave it to them understanding the value of shoes right in a very understandable two year old way. Apparently you don't want to moralize it and say you better not you better not pitch a fit when I tell you to put your shoes on. Yeah, this happens every morning, right. That doesn't help. It doesn't help. And if your kid the next day says, well, I want to pick out my shoes at a mom because they protect my feet, then you are you get a toy? Yeah, you get a toy, big playmobile box set. Well, depending on how much money you have, you could at least give them positive reinforcement and a cookie yeah boor a pat on the head. You could also get a knockoff plood mobile not box set. That's fine. The kid doesn't know. He's too. We got so many knockoff toys growing up. Have you seen that gallery of knockoff toys that I made? It's great if you have not seen it go check it out and stuff. I think I had a few of those, did you really? Yeah? I mean my parents were teachers. We weren't like poor, but we didn't. You know, there were three kids. We didn't all get everything we wanted. I wanted the BMX Mongoose and I got the Sears Goose. You know, I wanted Pong again Sears like yeah, basically Nights of the Round Table pretty much. You remember that? Yeah, but I did look at me. Yeah, I never had brand name clothes. Uh, unless they had you know, like a button missing or the collar was miss shapen or something. Again, I don't think I can stress enough how awesome that gallery of beloved knockoff knockoffs of beloved toys that we made that's on our site is. It's great. Yeah, we'll repost it, but you can. You should definitely look under galleries. You should dot com. There's some real missus yea. And I have to say I remember going to plenty of stores as a kid and being told I could pick out a toy, but it was like something liquidators. Yeah, yeah, like what is this thing? Did you have any rich kid friends? Um? Yeah, they weren't like rich kids, but Yeah, there were some parents were like lawyers and stuff like that. It's like at a one particular that I was always just so like his house was so cool. It was like a modern house, and back then I'd never seen a modern house. And he had, you know, the green machine and in television, and horses and a trampoline and a go kart and a motorcycle dude. Everything. Yeah, and look at him now, he's super successful and wealthy. Yeah, good for him. His parents raised him, right, they did. Okay, so we're gonna hit what you touched on earlier of when you might have a problem that's a little deeper than your average temper tantrum and they say three or more tantrums per day that lasts more than fifteen and it's could qualify as what is now called in the new d s M five disruptive mood disregulation disorder that depends that is um that depends on the age two. So there's a big hubub yeah over this right, yeah, because it was just added to the new d s M in two thousand. Yeah, a new disorder, yes, And basically it turns temper tantrums into a mental illness, like yeah, pure and simple if you were over age six between six and ten. Yeah, and you have that number what was at three three per day that last fifteen minutes or more or it says here three or more for one year, So I think there's a couple of criteria. Then anyway, then you are eligible for anti psychotic medications and all other manner of prescription drugs even though you're six. Yeah. And critics are saying there's not enough data on this to create a new diagnosis, Like some critics are saying you shouldn't have done this at all. Proponents are saying, no, this will actually help because kids are being diagnosis bipolar at six and this will prevent that. So it's a little awkward right now. But it's funny that they bring up bipolar because when they when they expanded and basically created children's bipolar disorder, pediatric bipolar disorder is what it's called. UM When they expanded that, there was a fortyfold spike in diagnoses, and as a result, the antipsychotic prescriptions for kids aged two to five doubled between two thousand and two thousand seven. So there's a definite trend of any time a new disorder is identified or described everything I've got that my kids they won't shut up. Can you give them some anti psychotics please? Yeah? And uh, the psychiatrists is sure right because he has this, because he fits this criteria. Yeah. It's definitely been a controversial addition to the d S m as are many additions to the d S m uh. But that's not to say that there isn't a larger issue at work, because some of the times there is. So they want to teach you his parents to monitor maybe don't like go put them on psycho psychotropic drugs, but maybe monitor them after the age of four and see how violent they are and how long they last, and are they trying to injure themselves or others? Are they holding their breath and feigning like how severe is it? Um? Which is the thing breath? Apparently the understanding of that now though, is that kids don't necessarily hold them their breaths on purpose, like it just kind of happens to they forget to breathe, they get so worked up that they freathe yeah, and faint. And apparently when your kid does that, for reek's parents out and then kids to learn that if they hold their breath or even threatened to hold their breath, they'll get what they want. But apparently, if your kid holds his or her breath or it's held for them when they faint, their normal breathing will take over again, and as a parent, you can kick start the whole process by blowing air into their mouth. It almost like tickles their breathing mechanism to take back over normally again even though they fainted. And the advice is that I read that if your kid is feigning from holding his or her breath during a tantrum, you can't let that alter your your parenting skills, like how you react to it. Yeah, you can't be held hostage by it. Man, that's so challenging. I can't imagine because your kid faints, it's bad news. Yeah, I mean, hats offen, That's like going back to the shark again. Good luck remembering to punch the shark in the nose while you're paying attack. Yeah, but that is a that is a criteria. If your kid is doing this now and it's new and or like after age four, and their tantrums are increasing rather than decreasing, these are all red flags for Okay, this, this may be abnormal. And let's see what's going on. The first step isn't necessarily taking your kid to psychiatrists for drugs. It can. You can also do a self survey of your house, like, uh, is there a new step parent? Um, do we move recently? Am I an alcoholic? And do we always fight? Yeah? You know it happens where parents and kind of like kids, you know, they don't even they don't understand what's going on. We keep the fighting away from them, but they understand and they pick up on body language and emotional cues that you don't think are there, and they're little sponges, and that could be a reason if uh, did you mention maybe if you've moved. Yeah, yeah, that's a big one. I think I said moved. Yeah, did his best friend get a better bike than him or something? Right, you need to go get that bike then too. But the point is to not be freaked out by isolated incidences past the age of four, uh, because they they happen, and um, it's not a typical You just need and if your kid has a problem with this, As parents, you probably have a plan in place, like you're not just reacting to each incident, like you get together and you huddle and be like, all right, we have an issue because little Timmy is a nightmare, and so how are we going to deal with this? And then let's stick to it. If little Timmy also is breaking your humble figurines all the time now, then good because those are awful, then um, well, that's actually it can be a sign, but it's not necessarily a sign. Right. For example, there is a study that had a pretty decent population size from two seven research temper tantrums among two hundred and seventy nine preschoolers almost two preschoolers um and uh. They found that kids who are considered healthy um had were less likely to become violent, self injurious, destructive, or verbally combative like during their ten for tantrums. But it's also been found that around of quote mentally stable preschoolers will still become you know, one of these unhealthy things during a temper tantrum from time to time. It's not like there goes a homo figuring you have to go to the psychiatrist now. Or if your kid like rips the head off their barbie in a violent way, that might be disturbing to you, but that is about as normal American behavior as has ever been generated by a child. Yeah, if your kid is being mean to animals, that's a different story, because that that is uh, you know, it's not a good sign. And it's certainly you want to stop any kind of uh like violent aggression towards humans or animals. Like that's not like, oh, let's just see how'll put this plays out. You want to get in there take care of business. Yeah, in the right way. Fish. So you raise your kid, you get them out of the terrible two's. Age four comes along, and all of a sudden, they're like talking to you and making sense and expressing themselves. They're able to settle themselves down. Um, they they they're just human beings. You made it out of the woods until the teenage years come, and then it starts all over again. Yes, and then it starts all over again. For the same reason. The prefrontal cortex undergoes a new round of development during puberty from age about eleven to eighteen, and as a result, the emotional breaks that are provided by that region of the brain are lost again for several years. Yeah. And it's also similar in that teenagers might not feel like they can express themselves even though like as a toddler you literally can't talk, but as a teen, you know, parents just don't understand. That's the old adage. And you've got the hormones, and you've got new things happening to your body, and you've got new things happening in your heart for you know, the little girls and little boys. You start feeling those feelings and it's confusing, and it's just it's it's all happening all over again, all these things you don't understand and can't express, and then you've got your prefemal cortex not helping you out. And that's why you're going to see the same similar behaviors at least. It's basically temper tantrums the sequel. Yeah, And it may not manifest itself the same way. They may not be on the floor like kicking and screaming and vomiting, but they may rampage through your house and slam the doors and scream and yell and uh. They'll grow out of that though, And again if they don't, then psychiatry is there to back you up with some diagnoses and pills. There's oppositional defiant disorder, yeah, which is basically it sounds like temper tantrums. That it sounds like temper tantrums, basically the same thing. Yeah. This study from University of San Diego was pretty interesting. I thought they studied kids between the ages of ten and twenty two. It's not a kid, by the way, and um between eleven and eighteen years old. During that window, the speed that they identified emotions indicated by facial expressions dropped. So between ten and eighteen, if you're like your kid can't even look at your face and read your emotional cues, Like, that's how out of it they are, you know? Yeah, teenagers like I couldn't even tell Dad was mad at me. Yes, because the wires aren't connecting upstairs. And apparently the prefecial corps prefernal cortex is also involved in um regulating behavior. Yeah, which explains why teenagers are prone to like risk taking. Well, yeah, because if the pre phone cortex isn't doing the job, then I think the amygdala takes over, and the amygdala is is not a good thing to be running your emotions running the show, No, not emotionally. So, are you got anything else you want to talk about? That girl from Millieville? Yeah, go ahead, I'll actually read that part. There was a girl, UH who in two thousand and twelve, UH, at the age of six, was arrested and taken to the police station from her kindergarten class because the temper tantrum she threw was so bad she was wrecking her kindergarten class. She was taken to jail for a temper tantrum like knocking over bookcases onto the principle, yeah, and injuring the principle yeah. Um. And she apparently was just on a rampage and the cops took her to jail, didn't book her process or anything, but I'm sure scared the daylights out of this little girl. And the school said she can't come back the rest of this year. She's just invited. Yeah. Luckily it was in April, so I imagine there was only a couple of months left to school. Still, so we hope she's doing better. Sure, we won't say her name. We didn't say her name, Tony, Nope, the article does, which I thought was slightly irresponsible. Oh, she was a news item. Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, Hey, you don't want to be in the news. Little girl, right to you that's it, all right. If you want to learn more about temper tantrums, you can procreate and have a kid and then see it firsthand. That's right. You can also before you do that, if you want to find out if you're interested in that kind of thing, type in temperate tantrums in the search bar at how stuffworks dot comm and will bring up this article. And I said search bar, which means it's time for listener mail. I'm gonna call this UH positive amnesia. Hey, guys, Nearly five years ago was in and uh Portland, Oregon. I was in a near fatal motorcycle wreck that not only knocked my brain around in my full face helmet, but also shattered my pelvis, broke two ribs too, vertebrae, left wrist, right thumb, left collarbone is showing all I know, Evil kinevil. I was in the hospital for two weeks, but only remember bits and pieces of the last few days of my stay, though I was mostly awake the whole time. The doctors told me that nearly UH I had a nearly two week gap in my memory, and it was a combination of shock and medically induced amnesia. I learned a lot about the different kinds of amnesia from your show in ways that my team of doctor never took the time to explain me. But I didn't. You're like, yeah, that always happens. But I didn't hear you mentioned any positive effects of memory loss. Uh, through my memory loss, it did not. Though my memory loss did not prevent severe ps PTSD after the incident. I think it is all to manly help me be less afraid of red light running land rovers. I think we did mention that it was that was one positive effect of it. I thought, did we I think so? Maybe not. Well, if we're not, then we're glad that. Adrian wrote in he said, Um, also, I don't have the additional trauma of remembering the numerous surgeries and operations. Your podcast made ampniesia sound confusing and scary, which it is. But I'm living proof that sometimes it's best if you don't remember. Well, Thanks a lot, Adrian. We're glad you are doing okay. Yeah, be careful, man, watch out for those land rovers. Yeah, red light running land rovers. Hope they hope the dude got in trouble. Yeah, yeah, I got nothing else. If you if you want to let us know about well, if you want to fill in the gaps on our memories, something we left out of an episode, we always want to hear that kind of thing. You can go on to stuff you Should Know dot com and check out our social links, and you can also send us a good old fashion an email, wrap it up, spank it on the bottom with it some good old country goodness and send it off to stuff Podcast at iHeart radio dot com. Yeah.

I don't want to do with select. My name's Chuck. I don't want to pick out a select and do an intro for this one. I don't want to work. See that was play acting everyone. This is called how Temper Tantrums work, And that was an example of a temper tantrum. This is from and it was a good one. It was um before I had a kid, and it really was instructive on how things were gonna go once I did have a kid. But I gotta tell you, I'm five years into this thing, and she's great. She rarely ever has thrown temper tantrums in her whole life. She can be a real paint in the butt, but she's never been a tantrum thrower. So I'm gonna listen to this one again. Actually right along with you. Welcome to Stuff you should Know, a production of I Heart Radio. Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm Josh Clark Bush, Charles Chuck Bryant, and again we have our guest producer Noel. He's thrashing about on the ground, vomiting, screaming, capillaries bursting in his cheeks, all because we wouldn't give him a third pork chop not true. Yeah, boy, temper tantrums or I always feel so bad for the parents in public, you know, Oh really, I always think like, you screwed up your kid already. See you're so wrong. And we're about to dispel that. Yeah it's true, although I did see a UM, we're about to talk a lot about why it's not the parents fault. But I did some extra research and there are experts that say you can also be a bad parent and that could lead to temper tantrums. Like, we don't want to blame parents, but you can definitely play a part. And we as a society of said, uh, from this age to this age, temper tantrums are normal. And then after that then apparently it's like the bad parenting really shines through and then they think like, yeah, there's some real problems this kid has and it's largely because of bad parenting or a bad home environment, or troubles during pregnancy like abuse, things like that. Um, that can all lead to temper tantrums that turn into something else after a certain age. Yeah, this whole thing, it makes me kind of uncomfortable. But just parenting advice period is so like subjective and individual Yeah, it's it's always feel like people shouldn't tell other people how to parent, But I also I feel like they're probably some pretty good guidelines to parenting too. So yeah, and if you go back and look at, um, the history of parenting, yeah, like it wasn't too long ago that it was. It kind of seems to go on a cycle. Like in the eighteenth century. Um Rousseau, the Great Enlightenment thinker, basically was one of the first to say, you know what, maybe kids aren't just internature adults and like maybe child like something special. It's a time of development. We should you know, become less parent centric and more child centric as far as parenthood goes. And um, that really kind of sparked this different idea of you know, treating kids as kids rather than adults. And then that was replaced later on by the whole like discipline and all that of the late nineteenth early twentieth century, and then that was replaced by the idea that kids their childhood should be indulged, you know. And then Russo said, boy, fetch me in my feather, I need to throw up? Is that from fletch, No, fletch. This is what came to mind. No, I just thought it'd be funny. You know, I need to throw up, you know, the benjing and purging back in the day, eat till you can't eat anymore than you stick a feather it on your throat and vomited it up. Supposedly, the vomitorium thing is a myth. Have you heard that in Rome? Ancient Rome, vomitoriums they supposedly had like pieces for that. I haven't heard. They were a myth. Supposedly their myth mythological and not like the Menatar, like a real myth, not like they want you to think it's a myth. Got Okay, So we're talking temper tantrums, and we've already kind of said, um that during a certain period of your life, they're normal. It's actually you would be a weird kid if you didn't have a temper tantrum pretty frequently. Not weird, but you would be in the minority for sure. Okay, but it doesn't mean you're weird. Comparatively speaking, it means you're weird. So like, from age one to age three ish, they basically say, I have have your temper tantrums. It's normal. Yeah, between fifty if you want a statistic of two to three year old boys and girls have at least one tantrum per week, and UM have a tantrum every day. Yeah, those kids are fun between those those years. Yeah. Uh. And then there was another study from the University of Minnesota. I found even higher rates. UM. Nine percent of children in this study between the ages of thirty, thirty months and three years UM had a tantrum on a weekly basis. Right, so it happens. If you had a kid, you've probably had it happened. If you don't have kids yet, it will happen to you. And if you have a kid that doesn't have tantrums, they're weird. No, you're just lucky. Yeah, you are pretty lucky. I wasn't a tantrum thrower. I know, I'm sure I was, but I think I was a pretty good kid. Yeah, I'm in saying it never happened with me, but I was pretty chill. Yes the gate. Yeah, my brother in law and sister in law lucked out a good kid who's like more hard on herself than like they are on her. That's the best self regulating kids. Yeah, she's good and she's like right in the age two and she's very good. So she's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah, weird and all the all the best ways. The good news is, um, by the time they reach four or five, you should be seeing a large drop off or complete cessation of these tantrums. Yeah. And the reason why we say the age um, that there is an age for this to end, is because we finally figured out that the mechanisms involved in temperate tantrums. Yeah, it's a thing. It's not just my kid's pain in the butter, he's in a bad mood, or he's spoiled. It's there's there's brain activity that is causing this to happen. Yes, specifically in the prefrontal cortex, or we should say there's a lack of activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is the last part of the brain to evolve. Yeah, like it up until your eighteenth birthday, prefonal cortex is still evolving, right, Yes, and developing, is I think what we mean? Yes, yes, we do. Both said evolved, but it's true. I mean, you know, the Victorians used to think that if you looked inside an egg, you would see the animal that species go through its full evolution, that that was its process of development, And it kind of makes sense to an extent, especially if you think of the brain, like I'm sure the brain stem is the first part of the brain to be constructed in utero, you know, and then it goes all the way like after birth. Your brain is still developing, and it's probably the most sophisticated regions of the brain that take the longest to develop. That makes sense. So the victorians were right all along about throwing up All right, well should we talk about what the tantrum? That there was a doctor who clearly has uh some masochistic tendencies because he did a study in which he rigged toddlers with microphones. He's the temper tantrum specialist. He's like the guy he's definitely a masochist. Yeah. No, I'm saying, God bless this guy, because it is not fun work to chord and analyze audio tapes of temper tantrums over and over and over. But that's what he did, and he did find some patterns. First of all, they only last a few minutes. Parents, it might seem like an eternity there in target while your kid is like buried in the clothes rack screaming, But it's only going to be a few minutes, and then ten minutes later, your kid has just probably forgotten about it, even though you have not. The He also found that UM, based on the types of sounds that the kids made, they can basically be classified as sad sounds and angry sounds. And he found that his name is Michael Protagal, and Portagal found that UM, rather than one giving into the other leading into the other, they're pretty much simultaneous. And then once the anger, it's basically you have sadness all along, and then it's overlaid with anger. And then once the anger subsides, all this left to sadness, and now the healing can begin because when kids are sad, they want to be comforted, so they go to you, the parent hopefully yeah, um, and and then the temper tantrum can subside. Yeah. And he broke it down into three phase three stages. Uh, you get your yelling and screaming. You've got your physical actions, which is what we talked about, like throwing yourself on the floor, and that's what you typically think of, like kicking and screaming, and then um or biting, and then you've got your whimpering and whining, which is the third and saddest stage right to witness, because the kid has just played out at this point and it's really sad. Yeah. And protocol also found that if the kid goes straight into the physical stage, Yes, the tantrum is even shorter lived. I think because they text themselves more quickly. Yeah, that makes sense. Uh. And these we talked earlier about Noel's tantrum before we came in and how his face is flushed. That is something that can happen if they are screaming loud enough, they and pop blood vessels in the face and capillaries, and they can induce vomiting. It can get like really serious and violent and disturbing. Inducing vomiting is funny. You don't just wouldn't you just be like, you stupid kid? What is wrong with you? You just screamed until you threw up? Yeah. I think that's a good approach. Well, I mean you don't say, certainly think alright, So back, yeah, stupid, Back to the prefrontal cortex. Uh. We said it develops very Uh, I don't know about slowly, but it develops over the course of your life until you're about eighteen. Um. But it doesn't even start to till you're four and they think the reason why, or not necessarily the reason why they think. Because of this this malleability and plasticity in the prefrontal cortex, we are able to acquire language skills as humans. So it's kind of a trade off because while we can acquire language skills while our p is developing, we don't have the emotional stability that we have later on in life with the fully developed PFC, because the prefrontal cortex is in charge of regulating our emotional stability. Yeah, and basically saying like whoa, it's the part of the it's the joey part of the brain, right, So your kid, your kid doesn't have the joey part of the brain yet. There is since you brought up language, there is a um there's a conflict between what the kid can understand and then relay back to you at that age, like they may be able to understand what you're saying, but they can't speak the words yet. So you've got a really frustrated kid because it can't get out what it wants to say. And then you've got the prefrontal cortex not doing anything yet, right, it's not putting the brakes on. Yeah, so that is a tantrum. I mean, that's a recipe for a tantrum. And why don't you stew on that for a minute while we take a message break because that was some heavy stuff. Okay, so we're back. We just talked about the prefrontal cortex and you, Chuck just explained what a temper tantrum is. Yeah, because we all have like moments of frustration. We all have um times when like we act out a little bit, like you know, this light bulb is supposed to work, you know that kind of thing, or road rage. That's an adult temper tantrum exactly, you know, But we have prefrontal cortex is we've been socialized to feel embarrassed for acting out. Um, if you took that away and shrunk us down by several feet, you would have what's a normal temper tantrum and kids. Yeah, and we also should point out that the fight or flight kicks into a big shot of cortis all happens, and so everything is just messed up. Like it's a wonder your kid doesn't have more of these, right when you think about that, So that frustration, Um, does trigger cortisol. It triggers Norah and ephron. Uh, your fight or flight syndrome or responses kicked into high gear. And again you have nothing to put the brakes on all of this. What's interesting is, Um, some of the physical signs that the fight or flight responses kicked in are also signs that your kids about to have like a major meltdown. Things like, um, you're breathing, flesh, skin, sweating, sweating, pupils dilated, drooling and spitting. Yeah, all these things where I like, you see your kids starting to do that, you just felling the exorcists gonna blow yes. And the reason, um, they stop or at least taper off by the ages of four or five is because you're the joey part of your brain starts to work and the kid can now talk to you and all of these kind of undo and the kids like that was the problem because they can now tell you that, right, I couldn't talk. Yeah, it smelled like chili dogs all the time, and I tried. I just couldn't tell you that. Yeah, in my PFC wasn't working. So what am I to do? Just go berserk exactly? Um. The thing is is like, yes, your kid is going to likely age out of this. If your kid doesn't age out of it, then perhaps it's time to consult a specialist, say around five six years of age, usually six, I think. Um. But along the way, you can help your kid have fewer temper tantrums, have less severe temper tantrums, and basically just be a better human being in general by how you as the parents address the temper tantrums. By telling them they're dumb for just throwing up. Just you think that in your head. You don't say it out loud or else you're a terrible parent. If you think it, you're fine, Okay. Um. The number one thing you want to do, um, prior to temper tantrums is giving the kid a a schedule. Yeah, because apparently a lot of the temper tantrums come from a fear that somethings that they're not going to get food, whether they're not gonna get held or at tension or whatever. If they're on a schedule, they'll know that it's coming. And if they start to freak out, you can say, of course, your goldfish are coming. It's almost two pm. Settled down, you little goldfish. Junkie. Yeah, and I know they stress scheduling all lot with kids with like Asperger's uh and autism, But it's a big deal. Period. You should get your kids on a schedule. Kids like knowing what to expect. They don't like balls. If you have to make your own bowl of cereal at age like two, the parent needs to take some time and figure out what's going wrong here with water? Yeah remember that what was that Friday's Yeah, when they did that milk. Yeah, that's funny that you said that is I just remembered yesterday. What a good movie Friday. Oh yeah, it was really funny. It's wonderful. Uh. Okay, So get your kids on a schedule. That's a big one. This is this is preventing yes, um, temper tantrum and that's regular sleep, regular feeding, uh, regular interaction. Any kind of thing they can rely on is going to help, like chill your kid out and get them stable. I remember, um, one of the things one of the bases of temper tantrums is frustration. Yeah, and one way around that is to give your kid make them feel empowered. Yeah. I like this bit of advice. I thought that was spot on. So like in this article, I think Conger says, um, if your kid hates putting shoes on, basically distract them by saying, hey, big boy, do you want to wear your duck boots or your cowboy boots? Yeah? You you choose to you. Yeah, sort of like heading them off at the templeton. You still have to wear shoes, but you get to choose which one. Yeah, I've heard that's a pretty common thing, if acause a lot of kids don't want to get dressed when they should or put on their shoes when they should. And um, a lot of parents now are like letting their kids dress themselves. Yeah you can tell, yeah, but look around. I know, and it's I think it's great and fun to see little kids walking around in these crazy outfits that they clearly picked out. It's like a moment. It's like many mental asylums all let out. It's like the Reagan era all over again, but for kids. I think it's awesome. Um, Okay, so empowering choices, great advice. So okay, you've taken these steps to avoid it, it's still not gonna do. Your kids still gonna have a temperature tantrum. It's just you can expect it. It's inevitable. Um So, when a temper tantrum happens, here's the hard part. You have to stay calm. And apparently the the advice from parenting experts psychologists is ignore it. Yeah, this is not us talking. We've researched this, and they say to try and ignore it. They say that that is the quickest way too, to put an end to that particular tantrum. If they're not getting the attention, then they will quit sooner. Yeah, and that's what they say. So long as they're not hurting themselves or other people or destroying property. If they're just screaming and being a brat basically is what it amounts to, then ignoring it is the best course of action. Yeah. The reason why is, um if you say you are like, oh, I know, you feel so bad, and you pick them up and you hug them and everything, you're giving your kid positive reinforcement. You're saying, hey, scream your head off and I'll pick you up and rub your back and comfort you. You don't want to do that. You want to remain neutral and basically not associate this thing with anything during it. That's what I would do, especially in public and just be like, man, whose kid is that? Right? I'm gonna go over here and eat a box of neutral green bars if i'm myself while this little kid finishes up, and I'll just pay for it at the register with an empty box and it's all good. Um. An sense of shape. The other reason, and we're joking around here, this is if someone like I have friends who have had a big trouble with this and it's not a laughing matter. It's really a lot of stress on a family. Oh, I can't imagine we joke because it's just what we always do. Another time, the guy in the grocery store gets to go see you later, good luck. Um. Another reason not to what like they say, to muffle that is because there could be other underlying causes like hearing problem or vision vision impairment that you won't notice. Um if you're if you're not, just like you know, if you've got the kid buried in your chest. Yeah it's weird. It's like you want to ignore it. Let it run its natural course, watch it out of like the side of your eye, you know. Yeah. Um, Because you don't want them to like you really don't want them to think you're paying any attention to them at all. And apparently and when that, when that's done, it just runs its course and it's it's over with, and like we said earlier, the kid forgets even what was bothering him or her, you know, a few minutes afterward. Yeah, what you really don't want to do is punish the kid or reprimand the kid in the middle of a tantrum or right after a tantrum, because it's a natural thing, it's gonna happen. That is not a healthy approach to getting your child to not do something because they're two and three years old, and to be punished for something that they don't understand, it's just that's not gonna help anything. Sure, So what you do want to do is after a meltdown has taken place and things are calm again, you want to take some time to explain to the kid basically what went wrong or what they didn't do. Let's say, is over the shoes again. You you they've just told you we need to talk about shoes again. Right now that things are calm, we have to talk about shoe was because I just had a meltdown about it. So now that they're calm. You have to say you need to wear shoes because they protect your feet from all the terrible stuff that you can step on. That's why you have to wear shoes and put them on when I tell you too. And it's time to leave it to them understanding the value of shoes right in a very understandable two year old way. Apparently you don't want to moralize it and say you better not you better not pitch a fit when I tell you to put your shoes on. Yeah, this happens every morning, right. That doesn't help. It doesn't help. And if your kid the next day says, well, I want to pick out my shoes at a mom because they protect my feet, then you are you get a toy? Yeah, you get a toy, big playmobile box set. Well, depending on how much money you have, you could at least give them positive reinforcement and a cookie yeah boor a pat on the head. You could also get a knockoff plood mobile not box set. That's fine. The kid doesn't know. He's too. We got so many knockoff toys growing up. Have you seen that gallery of knockoff toys that I made? It's great if you have not seen it go check it out and stuff. I think I had a few of those, did you really? Yeah? I mean my parents were teachers. We weren't like poor, but we didn't. You know, there were three kids. We didn't all get everything we wanted. I wanted the BMX Mongoose and I got the Sears Goose. You know, I wanted Pong again Sears like yeah, basically Nights of the Round Table pretty much. You remember that? Yeah, but I did look at me. Yeah, I never had brand name clothes. Uh, unless they had you know, like a button missing or the collar was miss shapen or something. Again, I don't think I can stress enough how awesome that gallery of beloved knockoff knockoffs of beloved toys that we made that's on our site is. It's great. Yeah, we'll repost it, but you can. You should definitely look under galleries. You should dot com. There's some real missus yea. And I have to say I remember going to plenty of stores as a kid and being told I could pick out a toy, but it was like something liquidators. Yeah, yeah, like what is this thing? Did you have any rich kid friends? Um? Yeah, they weren't like rich kids, but Yeah, there were some parents were like lawyers and stuff like that. It's like at a one particular that I was always just so like his house was so cool. It was like a modern house, and back then I'd never seen a modern house. And he had, you know, the green machine and in television, and horses and a trampoline and a go kart and a motorcycle dude. Everything. Yeah, and look at him now, he's super successful and wealthy. Yeah, good for him. His parents raised him, right, they did. Okay, so we're gonna hit what you touched on earlier of when you might have a problem that's a little deeper than your average temper tantrum and they say three or more tantrums per day that lasts more than fifteen and it's could qualify as what is now called in the new d s M five disruptive mood disregulation disorder that depends that is um that depends on the age two. So there's a big hubub yeah over this right, yeah, because it was just added to the new d s M in two thousand. Yeah, a new disorder, yes, And basically it turns temper tantrums into a mental illness, like yeah, pure and simple if you were over age six between six and ten. Yeah, and you have that number what was at three three per day that last fifteen minutes or more or it says here three or more for one year, So I think there's a couple of criteria. Then anyway, then you are eligible for anti psychotic medications and all other manner of prescription drugs even though you're six. Yeah. And critics are saying there's not enough data on this to create a new diagnosis, Like some critics are saying you shouldn't have done this at all. Proponents are saying, no, this will actually help because kids are being diagnosis bipolar at six and this will prevent that. So it's a little awkward right now. But it's funny that they bring up bipolar because when they when they expanded and basically created children's bipolar disorder, pediatric bipolar disorder is what it's called. UM When they expanded that, there was a fortyfold spike in diagnoses, and as a result, the antipsychotic prescriptions for kids aged two to five doubled between two thousand and two thousand seven. So there's a definite trend of any time a new disorder is identified or described everything I've got that my kids they won't shut up. Can you give them some anti psychotics please? Yeah? And uh, the psychiatrists is sure right because he has this, because he fits this criteria. Yeah. It's definitely been a controversial addition to the d S m as are many additions to the d S m uh. But that's not to say that there isn't a larger issue at work, because some of the times there is. So they want to teach you his parents to monitor maybe don't like go put them on psycho psychotropic drugs, but maybe monitor them after the age of four and see how violent they are and how long they last, and are they trying to injure themselves or others? Are they holding their breath and feigning like how severe is it? Um? Which is the thing breath? Apparently the understanding of that now though, is that kids don't necessarily hold them their breaths on purpose, like it just kind of happens to they forget to breathe, they get so worked up that they freathe yeah, and faint. And apparently when your kid does that, for reek's parents out and then kids to learn that if they hold their breath or even threatened to hold their breath, they'll get what they want. But apparently, if your kid holds his or her breath or it's held for them when they faint, their normal breathing will take over again, and as a parent, you can kick start the whole process by blowing air into their mouth. It almost like tickles their breathing mechanism to take back over normally again even though they fainted. And the advice is that I read that if your kid is feigning from holding his or her breath during a tantrum, you can't let that alter your your parenting skills, like how you react to it. Yeah, you can't be held hostage by it. Man, that's so challenging. I can't imagine because your kid faints, it's bad news. Yeah, I mean, hats offen, That's like going back to the shark again. Good luck remembering to punch the shark in the nose while you're paying attack. Yeah, but that is a that is a criteria. If your kid is doing this now and it's new and or like after age four, and their tantrums are increasing rather than decreasing, these are all red flags for Okay, this, this may be abnormal. And let's see what's going on. The first step isn't necessarily taking your kid to psychiatrists for drugs. It can. You can also do a self survey of your house, like, uh, is there a new step parent? Um, do we move recently? Am I an alcoholic? And do we always fight? Yeah? You know it happens where parents and kind of like kids, you know, they don't even they don't understand what's going on. We keep the fighting away from them, but they understand and they pick up on body language and emotional cues that you don't think are there, and they're little sponges, and that could be a reason if uh, did you mention maybe if you've moved. Yeah, yeah, that's a big one. I think I said moved. Yeah, did his best friend get a better bike than him or something? Right, you need to go get that bike then too. But the point is to not be freaked out by isolated incidences past the age of four, uh, because they they happen, and um, it's not a typical You just need and if your kid has a problem with this, As parents, you probably have a plan in place, like you're not just reacting to each incident, like you get together and you huddle and be like, all right, we have an issue because little Timmy is a nightmare, and so how are we going to deal with this? And then let's stick to it. If little Timmy also is breaking your humble figurines all the time now, then good because those are awful, then um, well, that's actually it can be a sign, but it's not necessarily a sign. Right. For example, there is a study that had a pretty decent population size from two seven research temper tantrums among two hundred and seventy nine preschoolers almost two preschoolers um and uh. They found that kids who are considered healthy um had were less likely to become violent, self injurious, destructive, or verbally combative like during their ten for tantrums. But it's also been found that around of quote mentally stable preschoolers will still become you know, one of these unhealthy things during a temper tantrum from time to time. It's not like there goes a homo figuring you have to go to the psychiatrist now. Or if your kid like rips the head off their barbie in a violent way, that might be disturbing to you, but that is about as normal American behavior as has ever been generated by a child. Yeah, if your kid is being mean to animals, that's a different story, because that that is uh, you know, it's not a good sign. And it's certainly you want to stop any kind of uh like violent aggression towards humans or animals. Like that's not like, oh, let's just see how'll put this plays out. You want to get in there take care of business. Yeah, in the right way. Fish. So you raise your kid, you get them out of the terrible two's. Age four comes along, and all of a sudden, they're like talking to you and making sense and expressing themselves. They're able to settle themselves down. Um, they they they're just human beings. You made it out of the woods until the teenage years come, and then it starts all over again. Yes, and then it starts all over again. For the same reason. The prefrontal cortex undergoes a new round of development during puberty from age about eleven to eighteen, and as a result, the emotional breaks that are provided by that region of the brain are lost again for several years. Yeah. And it's also similar in that teenagers might not feel like they can express themselves even though like as a toddler you literally can't talk, but as a teen, you know, parents just don't understand. That's the old adage. And you've got the hormones, and you've got new things happening to your body, and you've got new things happening in your heart for you know, the little girls and little boys. You start feeling those feelings and it's confusing, and it's just it's it's all happening all over again, all these things you don't understand and can't express, and then you've got your prefemal cortex not helping you out. And that's why you're going to see the same similar behaviors at least. It's basically temper tantrums the sequel. Yeah, And it may not manifest itself the same way. They may not be on the floor like kicking and screaming and vomiting, but they may rampage through your house and slam the doors and scream and yell and uh. They'll grow out of that though, And again if they don't, then psychiatry is there to back you up with some diagnoses and pills. There's oppositional defiant disorder, yeah, which is basically it sounds like temper tantrums. That it sounds like temper tantrums, basically the same thing. Yeah. This study from University of San Diego was pretty interesting. I thought they studied kids between the ages of ten and twenty two. It's not a kid, by the way, and um between eleven and eighteen years old. During that window, the speed that they identified emotions indicated by facial expressions dropped. So between ten and eighteen, if you're like your kid can't even look at your face and read your emotional cues, Like, that's how out of it they are, you know? Yeah, teenagers like I couldn't even tell Dad was mad at me. Yes, because the wires aren't connecting upstairs. And apparently the prefecial corps prefernal cortex is also involved in um regulating behavior. Yeah, which explains why teenagers are prone to like risk taking. Well, yeah, because if the pre phone cortex isn't doing the job, then I think the amygdala takes over, and the amygdala is is not a good thing to be running your emotions running the show, No, not emotionally. So, are you got anything else you want to talk about? That girl from Millieville? Yeah, go ahead, I'll actually read that part. There was a girl, UH who in two thousand and twelve, UH, at the age of six, was arrested and taken to the police station from her kindergarten class because the temper tantrum she threw was so bad she was wrecking her kindergarten class. She was taken to jail for a temper tantrum like knocking over bookcases onto the principle, yeah, and injuring the principle yeah. Um. And she apparently was just on a rampage and the cops took her to jail, didn't book her process or anything, but I'm sure scared the daylights out of this little girl. And the school said she can't come back the rest of this year. She's just invited. Yeah. Luckily it was in April, so I imagine there was only a couple of months left to school. Still, so we hope she's doing better. Sure, we won't say her name. We didn't say her name, Tony, Nope, the article does, which I thought was slightly irresponsible. Oh, she was a news item. Yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah, Hey, you don't want to be in the news. Little girl, right to you that's it, all right. If you want to learn more about temper tantrums, you can procreate and have a kid and then see it firsthand. That's right. You can also before you do that, if you want to find out if you're interested in that kind of thing, type in temperate tantrums in the search bar at how stuffworks dot comm and will bring up this article. And I said search bar, which means it's time for listener mail. I'm gonna call this UH positive amnesia. Hey, guys, Nearly five years ago was in and uh Portland, Oregon. I was in a near fatal motorcycle wreck that not only knocked my brain around in my full face helmet, but also shattered my pelvis, broke two ribs too, vertebrae, left wrist, right thumb, left collarbone is showing all I know, Evil kinevil. I was in the hospital for two weeks, but only remember bits and pieces of the last few days of my stay, though I was mostly awake the whole time. The doctors told me that nearly UH I had a nearly two week gap in my memory, and it was a combination of shock and medically induced amnesia. I learned a lot about the different kinds of amnesia from your show in ways that my team of doctor never took the time to explain me. But I didn't. You're like, yeah, that always happens. But I didn't hear you mentioned any positive effects of memory loss. Uh, through my memory loss, it did not. Though my memory loss did not prevent severe ps PTSD after the incident. I think it is all to manly help me be less afraid of red light running land rovers. I think we did mention that it was that was one positive effect of it. I thought, did we I think so? Maybe not. Well, if we're not, then we're glad that. Adrian wrote in he said, Um, also, I don't have the additional trauma of remembering the numerous surgeries and operations. Your podcast made ampniesia sound confusing and scary, which it is. But I'm living proof that sometimes it's best if you don't remember. Well, Thanks a lot, Adrian. We're glad you are doing okay. Yeah, be careful, man, watch out for those land rovers. Yeah, red light running land rovers. Hope they hope the dude got in trouble. Yeah, yeah, I got nothing else. If you if you want to let us know about well, if you want to fill in the gaps on our memories, something we left out of an episode, we always want to hear that kind of thing. You can go on to stuff you Should Know dot com and check out our social links, and you can also send us a good old fashion an email, wrap it up, spank it on the bottom with it some good old country goodness and send it off to stuff Podcast at iHeart radio dot com. Yeah.