The United States officially confirms they have active weapons in space... but they're not saying exactly what these weapons are, or what they can do. Archaeologists have discovered the world's oldest evidence of habitual drug use. An athlete apologies for pooping like crazy during an event. FBI Director Kash Patel goes to D.C. to defend the FBI's new (bizarrely relaxed) hiring practices. Join Ben and Noel for all this and more in this week's strange news segment.